American Idolness

Diana Ross...Its All About MEEEE!

2012-02-12T23:30:00.001-06:00

I was never a huge Whitney Houston fan. I appreciated her talent and enjoyed her in the movie The Preacher's Wife but her style of singing has never been my favorite. As anyone who has read this blog knows, Mariah and Celine leave me cold and their diva wanna bee imitators leave me colder. I will always love Dolly's version of *And I Will Always Love You* more than Whitney's version. But her death is sad for those people who knew her and loved her and for her fans. What a waste...she hooked up with Bobby Brown and was addicted to him as much as the drugs and she ruined her talent and what was left of her too short life. Her first album came out in 1985. She married Brown in 1992 the year the Bodyguard was released. She had seven years of career excellence and twenty years of decline.

That said, for the first time in a number of years, I watched the Grammy's tonight to see how they would handle honoring her and they did a good job with ONE HUGE notable exception. Diana Ross is a cold woman. Not only did she not mention Whitney she acted oblivious to her passing by saying *Aren't we all having FUNNN!*. I cannot remember but I hope she didn't get a standing ovation when she came out. I read that at Clive Davis' pre-Grammy party on Saturday night, she did the did the same thing... while all the other performers were offering condolences and kind words, she came out and sang her song without a mention of Whitney's loss.

Jennifer Hudson was amazing. She didn't try to sing it like Whitney but her performance paid homage to Whitney. I cannot believe she lost Idol...to whom? Was it Taylor Hicks?

I enjoyed the show altogether with the exception of Chris Brown, the dance music segment, and the very talentless Nicki Minaj. Nicki Minaj is trying to outdo Gaga who has tried to outdo Madonna.  Her song was ridiculous, her red riding hood gown was ridiculous and her date, dressed like the Pope was ridiculous.

I had not heard any of the new songs sung tonight (except for the Idol performer's butchering Rolling in The Deep) and I was surprised how much I liked them...even Bruno Mars and the Foo Fighters.  Other than Hudson, the highlight of the show for me was Alicia Keyes and Bonnie Raitt honoring Etta James. Glen Campbell was poignant. And Taylor Swift was good too.

Adele seems like a nice person. I'm happy for her well-deserved success.

But Diana Ross can go back to her hotel room and shrivel away. I've read she has always been a mean person and she has probably turned worse with age.

TMI x 10,000

2012-02-10T11:01:00.001-06:00

What a disgusting hour of TV. As if group week isn't bad enough, we're now also subjected to vomiting, kidney stones, vomiting into a clear trashbag, diarrhea, vomiting, vomiting, vomiting. ENOUGH already!

HeJun turns out to be kind of a prick. Yeah, cowboy was annoying and bossy, but rather than stand around and talk about him behind his back, how about you say, "stop being annoying and bossy." And learn his name, jerk, he's in your group. (What happened to the "everyone is better than me" attitude?)

Speaking of annoying and bossy - Simone's father is a douchecanoe of epic proportions. (1) He all but calls her fat on national TV, reassuring America that he won't let her eat, just drink, (2) He actually HARMS her chances of getting into a decent group because no hopefuls want a girl that comes with a side of Stage Dad, (3) he takes credit for his daughter's talent, assuring America that he's not a stage Dad, but *he* will be famous, (4) he does a group hug, with his daughter's group, but LEAVES OUT his daughter!! I want to drop kick this guy, and I can NOT watch an entire season of him as puppeteer.

The cop could not understand why she couldn't find a group. Um, maybe nobody wants to sing Joy To The World?! Maybe you should stop being such a bitch?!

I don't remember Brielle, even though she was in a group with Pia *gasp!*. I normally remember contestants who I hate, especially if they have a stage parent that I hate (Pukealetta anybody?), but even today I couldn't pick Brielle out of a lineup.

I hope that tomorrow either (1) we actually get to see some SINGING, or (2) the judges all get this flu, too (how funny would that be?)

I Don't Wanna Throw Up!

2012-02-09T21:55:00.001-06:00

I always get worked up about Group Night because there is usually bullying and injustice going on and it makes me sad for the victims. But tonight there was no Clint June Bug to push JayCee out of the group thereby igniting the wrath of fans everywhere. Instead it was all about staying alive!

Poor Amy the tent girl, who was called *Hipsy* in her auditions. She is a tough cookie and I think it was very unfair for Ryan to label her Ground Zero for the flu going around. I have no idea what the group she eventually joined will sound like tomorrow night (if they let us hear it) but at least people were nice to her even if they didn't appear to be the strongest group in the room. Although I really think it was unwise of the woman in the group to say...*don't get me sick* and then rush up and give Amy a big hug.

Brianna is very picky about the group she joins and rejects several because they don't have the right vocal range or want to sing a song she doesn't like. I think she is the Brianna who ends up in the Bettys who we will hear first tomorrow. All indications are the Bettys will be a train wreck as a group but I give her and her one fellow Betty credit for working well together to try to salvage it while the others went to bed. At least this group seems healthy.

Brielle, who was in Princess Pia's group last year, thinks she knows everything. She didn't know enough to make the top 24 last year so I think she should get off her high horse. Her mother is hovering around and seems a bit embarassed by her daughter's high-handedness but then she starts trashing the geeky frat boy who the judges thought had a great voice so whatever good feelings I had towards the mother...went away.

Alisha the cop cannot find a group to save her soul no matter how many loud and bossy public announcements she makes to recruit singers of *Joy To the Word*. Alisha lacks subtlety to say the least and I really don't blame some of those kids for steering away from her as she comes off as a supreme bossy boss and then keeps saying she's a cop which coupled with her loud bossy ways scares them to death. The group she finally was allowed to join also has train wreck written all over it with dominatrix Alisha who doesn't get to sing Joy To the World and cannot learn the other song, the two other mousy women, and the poor guy who keeps vomiting.

Then there is MIT with HeJun and Richie the cowboy Scottie wanna bee...I think Phillip Phillips the shucker is in that group too. (Was he the one with the kidney stones who had to take some time out to relieve some pressure on his bowels? That was really TMI.) The cowboy wants to go corny with the choreography and sophisticated with the harmony and Hejun just wants to stand there and flap his arms and sing *How am I supposed to Live Without You* for the third time. I forget what MIT is supposed to stand for but as I recall it was some sort of multi-cultural *we are the world* theme.  I don't think Richie and HeJun, who are engaged in a massive war of cultures, are setting a very good example for the rest of the group. Hejun, who was rather likeable last night, loses likeability points but Richie is no charmer either. A pox on both their houses.

And finally, Simone, who truly was ground zero in the illness epidemic when she fainted off the stage last night(I thought she walked off of it accidentally). She was fine, just as I told you she would be, only dehydrated (Daddy was so busy drilling her vocals, he forgot to feed and water her). She was very smart when she came back and was obsequious to the group members while her daddy wanted to go all gang-busters to get her in a group. He claims he is just a supportive father and not a stage father but then he claims he is going to be famous so we know what his agenda is. And...she said she needed to eat more...and he say...no she needs to drink more water and I got to thinking she is not fat but she is not a size 0 either and I'm wondering if the guy is dogging her about her weight so now I don't dislike her so much...I just dislike the whole teen protegee/stage father package.

I'm kinda ticked they didn't do 2 two hour shows this week and get this Hollywood stuff over. I'm even more ticked that the American Idol website is *rebuilding* the fan comments section so I cannot go on and make trouble there.

Good news about Danny Gokey's friend Jamar. I hope he does well.

Obviously, you can see that KK and I are already forming different opinions of the contestants. I chalk her sympathy for Simone up to her being a good mama.

Stay healthy!

Simone Black for the WIN

2012-02-09T08:59:00.000-06:00

Poor little Simone Black wrapped up how we all felt about the whole night with one sweeping movement:

God love her. She seems so sweet and cute in her interview, and then they show her in a grey room, her father pacing back and forth and hovering over her while critiquing her voice. The judges ask her why she chose the song she chose (cough*stageDad*cough) and she wobbles and then faints, off the stage.

I'll comment on the people I remember -

The 12 17 year old black kid who ~~gets his cheeks pinched~~ hits on girls and thinks he's a ladies man, actually sounds like a lady when he sings. Puberty is going to screw this kid up in about a million ways.

The golden ticket guy (Reed Grim?) who "scats" his way through to the next round. Somehow.

I actually like the guy with the big black woman in side of him but his "spending time away from my baby girl" sob story won't take him very far.

Jessica who takes care of her boyfriend seems like a really nice girl, and she has a decent voice. I'm hoping that she doesn't go diva.

And for the rest of the night, I found myself asking, "Have we ever seen this person before?"

As a side note for those of you who preferred Danny Gokey's best friend to the actual Danny Gokey in Season 8:

Jamar Rogers has auditioned for The Voice, and is on Cee-lo's team!

He also had a pretty decent sob story (which was unfortunately over shadowed by Gokey's dead wife) that didn't get any play on Idol. 6 years ago he was addicted to meth, which left him HIV positive and living on the street.

And ya know, the kid can sing. So, during the evenings when you're not watching Idol, turn on The Voice and cheer for Jamar!

I'm The Greatest Star...But No One Knows It

2012-02-08T21:08:00.001-06:00

Finally, we get to Hollywood and so we can see how these sobbers, and strutters, and golly gee shuckers and diva wanna bees we met in the auditions measure up.

The format for the acapella song is supposed to be that the judges remain impassive until all 10 sing their songs and then they will announce who moves on. But, they cannot restrain themselves. Jennifer is *oh babying*; Randy is going *nice*; and Steven is in his trance face whenever they love somebody. So..I think its safe to say that by the time they do their final vote, everyone in the group of 10 knows deep down if they are going to make it or not to the next round but of course, the losers are in deep denial.

Forgive me if I inadvertently *spoil* the surprise for you with a couple of these contestants. You could have looked at the top 24 a few posts down as any normal person would have and then it wouldn't be a spoiler for you. I'm not going to pass up a couple of good remarks to baby those of you who are too pristine to cheat and see who is in and who is out.

Contestant number one is Johnny Keyser from St. Louis. He's not one bit nervous because Jennifer told him he was going to be a star when he auditioned in St. Louis and he's pretty sure he's got this covered and is already doing his confetti dance and dreaming of outselling Carrie Underwood. Heck, he probably already has his first grammy acceptance speech written. Well, Johnny, you made it through Round 1 but if you are going to be a star no one will know it from watching the rest of the season.

Our second contestant, He Ju is at the opposite end of the spectrum. He's amazed at the beauty and talent of the other contestants, is as nervous as a drunk in rehab, and appears to have DT's as well as he shakes it off. But he does Now, at this point, I'm thinking he will be slaughtered in the group rounds by evildoers. I'm thinking wrong.

We next quickly see a trio of good women singers. Elise Testone has a nice jazzy vibe, Baylie Brown (despite her name that is so sweetie cute you need insulin to recover) has some Carrie Underwood going for her; and Hallie Day who was my favorite in the auditions. She sang another song I like but I thought she put a little too much melisma on it so I hope she tones it down for future rounds.

Two more women audition...Jenn Hirsch who is has a sweet face but is determined to look as plain as possible, and Lauren Gray who won't stop singing she is so in love with her own self. I'm rooting for Lauren to fail.

Then a group of bad women singers all of whom seemed to beg for another chance to kill our eardrums and who were frankly, just pathetic to watch.

The next segment gives us Phil Phillips who *aw shucks* himself into the next round; Reed Grim, whose family is Wisconsin's answer to the Osmonds; and poor homeless Travis whose father is desperately ill and whose mother ran off with another man. Travis tries and he has some good tones but no fluidity and I just kept thinking: *you sound constipated*. I said at the time he got to Hollywood with more sob than talent and of course he goes home along with Ramiro, another sobber who has a home but no ears and a couple of who cares who they are people.

Adam Brock is a heavyset Danny Gokey look alike and sound alike except his wife is alive and so is his baby girl. He and the big black woman inside of him makes it through.

Jim Carrey's daughter Jane seems to be pretty sweet and unpretentious, but she is also unremarkable so home she goes. (She actually has real jobs like waitressing and isn't living on a trust fund so I don't hate her because her dad is famous).

I love David Leathers. I should be annoyed with him because he is a smart aleck ball of hutzpah but he cracks me up and he can sing.

Shannon Magrone is next. For some reason her entire family was in the room when she auditioned (oh yeah..her dad is some has been professional ball player who has a World Series ring but no one remembers his name). She is going to be giving me a migraine for the rest of the season I just know. The diva drones will latch on to her like they did with Siobahn and Pia from prior years and Shannon will pull some cutesy *oh I'm only 17 and so wholesome* crap and America will vote for her as I smolder away.  When she gets a southern accent and starts singing country don't say I didn't tell you so!

Jessica Phillips, another sobber, actually sang pretty well so she is going through. I did get a little emotional when she made it through and I saw how happy her boyfriend was so I'm not totally without empathy.

Erika Van Pelt has a low alto voice and I sort of like her. Creighton and Aaron were sort of ho-hum to me but maybe I was getting tired. Lauren Mink, despite her name and beauty, really is a good person but I don't know if she sang well enough to make it through. The guy they call *Doity* because hes a germaphobe was rather appealing but maybe its because I wash my hands all the time too so I could relate.

And finally...Simone Black with a stage father that rivals David Archuletta's psycho dad, and a head as big as my butt. She's kibbitzing with the judges after nailing her song thinking *I'm the Greatest Star* and does a dumpster dive off the stage. Serves her cocky self right I'm thinking. Now, don't be getting all over me for being mean. I haven't read that anyone got seriously injured in all the blogs and trade news about Idol so I'm sure she is just fine.

Ok..tomorrow is the dreaded group night. I read there was some horrible vomiting flu going around so that should be fun to watch, no?

How To Comment On The Blog

2012-02-04T02:12:00.001-06:00

Since it took me awhile to figure it out myself today, I thought I would explain how it is done for those of you who may be as computer illiterate as I am. Under the post there is a line that says 0 comments. Click on that and you should be able to post a comment. I think you can use any name you want to use and that you don't have to be a *follower* of the blog to comment.

I am taking this opportunity to also test out my ability to upload photos. Yay it worked!

The End of the Road

2012-02-02T22:04:00.001-06:00

Finally the auditions are over. Although I understand they held another audition in New Jersey...and decided to dump the episode. Either the producers have finally caught on that no one likes the auditions, so lets get on with the show... or they ran into a bunch of Snookie wannabees and realized that the contestants were asking the viewers to go a bridge too far.

So...who do we have in St. Louis? To keep myself engaged in the show, I decided to rate each contestant on 2 meters with a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest): the Sob-o-meter and the Sing-o-meter. I wish I had thought of this sooner because I bet we could come up with a formula of sob to sing that would predict the vote before the judges even speak.

First up is John Keeser. He is the product of a broken home (his wicked mother abandoned him) and was raised by his father in Pompano Beach Florida. Jennifer says he will be a star, Steven swore (in a good way) and he is going to Hollywood.

Sob-o-meter: 1 (his mother is not dead, his dad has a boat, and they are not homeless)

Sing-o-meter: 7

Then the show reverts to a medley of bad talent from last year, this year, who knows what year just to keep those who watch the show to see people humiliated interested.  Sob-o-meter for all: 1 because they cannot sing and no one told them so. Sing-o-meter for all: 0 because they cannot sing.

Our next serious contestant is Rochelle Lamb who brings her daughter Maddie into the room. She was a professional singer until she fell in love with a man who *held her down*.  They are now divorcing and she gives a heartfelt rendition of a Faith Hill song about finding somebody new. She is very country in grammar and voice. Maddie grooves along with her as she trashes Maddie's father with the song choice and lyrics.

Sob-o-Meter: 3 (the contestant last night who was held down by her bad husband had 2 kids and Rochelle only has one. Plus Rochelle named her daughter Maddie  and insulted her father in front of her.)

Sing-o-Meter: 6 (assuming you like that sort of thing...but Carrie Underwood is not losing any sleep tonight).

A side note: Both Rochelle and the Kellogg woman from last night may have stolen the *my bad old man kept me down* line from a contestant on X-factor.

Our next contestant who cannot sing Is Oliver MCrary and music is his *wife*. Sob-o-meter: 5 (except it is me sobbing as my eardrums rupture)
Sing-o-meter: -5

Our next hopeful is Reese Glockner and he is straight out of the first episode of Glee. He was bullied at school until he found the choir and made friends. His singing made Steven cry and I guess it was ok although I thought the voice was a little thin.

Sob-o-Meter: 4 (he is the first bully victim this season so I am being generous)

Sing-o-Meter: 7 (I'm taking Steven's word for it here)

Then Steven gives a pep talk to the remaining contestants and it is especially helpful for Ethan Jones.  Steven can relate to Ethan's father who is presently in rehab. Ethan sings in a country band with his father. Ethan sings well.

Sob-o-Meter: 5 (Steven's sb-o-m went to 10 on this one)
Sing-o-Meter: 7

I took a break so missed Madonna's *hot new video*. Please don't let her be a guest mentor this season as I cannot stand her fake British accent. If she could get away with it, she would give herself a royal title (so she could call herself Lady Madonna) but only the Queen can grant those, and I think the Queen is probably resistant to Madonna's charm. Of course she could always snag herself some random old Duke.

Now I really felt for the next guy, the hotel auditor. I don't know if they dragged him in from the hallways or if he actually auditioned at the cattle call and was called back. For a minute I thought he would be some competition for our Gentle Giant Germaine but then he sang.
Sob-o-Meter: 0 (he has a good day job)
Sing-o-Meter: 0

And our FINAL contestant in the audition rounds for Season 11 (well except for the Snookies in NJ) is Lauren Gray. She loves her father a lot. They sing in a band together on weekends. She sang very loud and had a bit of a husky break in her voice.
Sob-o-Meter: 0 (her father is not in rehab and you don't get points for loving your dad)
Sing-o-Meter: 7

Hollywood week looks like its going to be interesting. I suspect we will find some people to love and some to hate.

I encourage readers to comment on all of our posts and I'm glad KK is finding some time to blog. Its much more fun for me when she does!

To crush a dream or not?

2012-02-02T12:21:00.002-06:00

I loathe the audition shows. I'm having a hard time skimming through them on my DVR, let alone mustering up the strength to comment about them here.

They have, however, sparked a conversation that I find very interesting:

You have a child whose dream is to become a star, a musician, the next American Idol.

When they sing, however, it is painfully obvious that they will not, in fact, be any of those things.

Are you honest with that child? "Darling, you are so very talented at so many things, but singing is likely going to be an impossible dream for you to follow" - even though you know that you're crushing their only dream, and probably subjecting yourself to years of resentment and them to years of bashing you as a parent to their therapist.

Or do you drive that child to the American Idol audition, wear a shirt that says, "my kid is the next American Idol", insist that they are the next best thing? And then when they don't get a ticket to Hollywood, you say, "Darling, those judges are idiots" - even though you know deep inside that those judges are so very right yet your encouragement is dooming you to cheerleader status at multiple other (fruitless) auditions.

P.S. Don't you LOVE the new blog format? Well done, Auntee!

Warning: Top 24 Revealed...Spoiler (or Another 300 plus Bite the Dust).

2012-02-02T10:30:00.000-06:00

Ever industrious and doing the work that others won't do, your blogger has discovered who is in the top 24 via a spoiler. Here is the link: http://www.mjsbigblog.com/american-idol-11-top-24-spoilers-remaining-audition-cities.htm. Do not click on it unless you want to know what will happen in Hollywood ahead of time. Let me just say this: I may or may not watch the St. Louis auditions because no one from that show made the top 24.

On another note, I'm sure you have noticed the format change. Chalk it up to boredom. We have also added some links (under More Idol Gossip) which you might find interesting if you get bored too. Who knows, I may even add a photo or two if I get that piece figured out.

Nobody Knows The Trouble I've Seen

2012-02-01T23:18:00.000-06:00

For some reason, Idol chose to go to Portland, Oregon. For some reason, the featured contestants are from places on the East coast and few are from Portland. My guess is that the Portland talent sucked so they imported some from other cities to fill in the show. Or, based on the theme of this weeks show, maybe everyone is happy in Portland so they looked for misery out of state.

I thought Idol had been a little shy on sob stories so far. It made up for it in this one episode which featured more filming of sob stories than singing.

First up in Brittany Zooka. She's wearing big glasses and a porkpie hat so she can let off that Zooey Deschanel vibe. She doesn't have a sob story but she had a dream she sang with Sarah somebody, went to Sarah's concert and made herself obnoxious enough that Sarah somebody brought her on stage and Brittney's dream came true. Zooey/Zooka can sing, however. She might be one to watch.

Second is Van Perdum. He is from Philadelphia. He has a very bad illness and is snotting around without a handkerchief and infecting the entire audition room. When he wasn't snotting he was burping. Then he sang some song badly. He felt bad because his illness prevented us from hearing his falsetto. I'm not one to wish illness on anyone but I'm just sayin' his bad fortune was our good fortune.

We've had some R&B singers so far this season and we've had some gospel singers this season but we HAVEN'T yet had the requisite  big African-American gospel/R&B singer who loves his mama. We do now. His name isn't Mike, so we cannot call him Big Mike. His name is Germaine.  JLo is already calling him the Gentle Giant...if he goes very far I will dub him Triple G for Gentle Giant Germaine. He has a weird voice. Partly deep and partly falsetto in odd spots. He sweats a lot...so I hope they can cure that before Hollywood because I cannot think of a soft G word that means sweating.

Another Britney comes in and ups the ante on the sob-o-meter over the usual single/divorced mother needing to make a good life for her kid because she has two kids.   She stifled her dream for her husband's basketball career but he was a wanderer. No mention whether his career is successful or not and whether he pays child and spousal support out the yin-yang if he is. She sings *You're No Good* and with feeling. I don't think she was that good but she was really feeling the song and her sob-o-meter was acceptably high so they let her through.

The next contestant, Sam Gershman comes in after she has spent the day gyrating and dancing around the waiting room in her too tight pants and too tight leotard shirt which shows us she is very well-endowed.   She sang *I am a Woman* just in case someone missed the obvious.   The judges, thank goodness, resisted the urge to comment on her figure and sent her packing.

David Weed appears next. At least his name sounds like he might come from Portland. He is a nerd through and through. People have always told him he has a great voice.   I don't know what he sang but it was awful. Its only about 7:40 and I'm ready for sleep. I wanted a drink about then. I didn't have one but just thinking about the show, I want one now.

Our next contestant, Romeo Dionne (??? can I have written that down right???) almost breaks the sob-o-meter. He is from Liberia, was exiled out of danger to a refugee camp in Ghana during the 1990 Liberian Civil war where stayed with some of his family until the early 2000's when he made it to America.  If he had a better voice, he might have closed the show. He was ok. However, if he makes it through Hollywood he is going to have to keep reminding everyone about his past because he really was not that attractive in personality or appearance.

Some blonde named Naomi who didn't have a sob story (just a good voice) came on, sang a Steven Tyler song pretty well and she is going through.

A joke guy with a baby face came on and sang a Queen song and wasted a bunch of time.

And then finally....Jessica Phillips who is taking over the coveted Chris Medina/Danney Gokey role this season. Her boyfriend had a stroke and she is nursing him back to health.  He can walk though, unlike Chris Medina's girlfriend and is still alive unlike Danny Gokey's wife. Plus..taking care of her man isn't the same as those selfless sensitive men taking care of and mourning their women while they pursue fame and fortune. Steven didn't even cry. Her voice was all over the place as she sang a song I didn't recognize about misfortune and fortune and rising above it all and staying the same rich or poor. The sob-o-meter got her through.

Ok, one more audition show to go. I am so relieved. The judges seemed bored and worn out to me tonight...and they are getting paid mega-bucks for watching. I'm not even getting a glass of wine here!

Galveston Oh Galveston

2012-01-26T23:08:00.000-06:00

Well I didn't hear any sea winds blowing or sea waves crashing but I did hear a bunch of people whose singing crashed and blew. Maybe it was just me but it seemed like tonight they featured all the roadapples and none of the talent.

From Fong Vu who claimed to be born and raised in America but couldn't speak English (so much for public schools) to Alejandro the Revolutionary, it was a night of mostly dreck. Alejandro is fresh from occupying a parallel universe where Lady Gaga doesn't have platinum records and Barack Obama is not president. He wants a revolution so that Lady Gaga can be a big star and Obama can be president. I want to occupy his other universe.

There were only three people who I thought had any talent at all: Skylar the teen from Jackson, Mississippi who hunts deer and rides three-wheelers through the woods; Baylee Brown who is on her second try (she was teamed with some biotches from NJ during group night on her last try when she was just 16 and forgot the words); and the 28 year old almost divorced mother of three who spent the money she borrowed to hire a divorce lawyer to pay for her ticket to audition for Idol.

The judges disagreed over several female contestants...Steven and Randy rejected them and Jennifer supported them. Then Steven and Randy accepted a very poor singer and Jennifer almost lost it. I agree with Jennifer and don't know what was going on with Steven and Randy.

Two contestants with sob stories made it on the basis of the sob stories (in my opinion) as both had decent but not spectacular voices. Cortez Shaw was raised by a single mother and his family was homeless for two years. Ramil Garcia was born without ears..really. Surgery allowed them to construct an ear canal to an eardrum and he can hear, talk and sing (sort of) now. Both seemed like really nice guys but I cannot say they have an exceptional talent.

Cannot WAIT until the auditions are over!

Rocky Mountain Not So High

2012-01-25T22:25:00.000-06:00

I admit it. I am bored with these auditions. I am bored with the girls in love with Steven Tyler (even though I'm in love with him too in a platonic sense and I'm closer to his age). I'm bored with the backstories. I want the real deal to start.

All of that said, here is the rundown of what I managed to watch tonight. I hope all of you were watching something else.

First contestant is a cute enough blonde named Jenny Shick who has permission from her boyfriend to kiss Steven Tyler, Lady Gaga, and some other famous guy and it won't be considered cheating. She has eye makeup like Lady Gaga. She has sort of a horsey face like Gaga too. She sings Heartbreaker. It didn't sound all that great to me but the judges let her go through.

Second contestant, a semi-pro musician called Curtis Gray who has a sort of David Cook wanna be vibe. I thought his song choice was crappy and boring. Randy loved it. Randy was clearly affected by the altitude. He went through.

Then the three Amigos ...Richie who has a low voice like Scottie's voice and a plaid shirt too; Devan Jones who is a R&B guy and sounds the same as the rest of them, and some George Michaels look-alike called Mathenee. They all went through.

Our first loser of the show,Talena Ron, appears. Her twin sister, Stevie, is there for moral support.  Stevie goes to a Performing Arts School and has taken the spotlight from Talena for their entire 18 years of life together. Sadly, as Talena sang we could see why she was always in Stevie's shadows and must always be content to be the wind beneath herwings. After her rejection, the sisters sang a duet and Stevie decided to sing as loud as she could to overpower poor Talena's pitiful voice. At least the judges didn't call in Stevie and let her audition like they did with the other brother/sister rivals the first night.

Haley Smith is an outdoor girl with a Crystal Bowersox vibe. She was good but I cannot get too excited about her until she makes it through the Hollywood hell week.

Shelby Smith is from Minnesota and has bi-polar disorder. She seems like a fine young woman but once again I was not that impressed with her voice.   I'm jaded.

Angie Ziederman wants to be Gaga. She auditions first with a show tune which Randy almost threw up on. Then she sang Blue Bayou. She dresses sort of retro with big glasses and 40's hair. I think she has a lot of tricks but not much talent.

In between there were others I was too bored with to make notes about. It ended with the classic jokester guy who was about 40, called himself Magic Cyclops, spoke with an English accent and said he was born in Davenport, Iowa. He sang (badly) a Neil Diamond song and Margariaville. Randy said he had to go to the bathroom so would let the other two deal with Cyclops. Cyclops allowed as how he could use a bathroom too and farted a sparkler out of his butt. Yeah..that was really spontaneous. I wonder how many times they had to rehearse the sparkler fart before they got a good take.

So...what started off as Rocky Mountain high (the scenery shots were great) turned into Rocky Mountain low (or is that blow?).   Anyway...I want the real show to start.

Oh Say Can You Hear?

2012-01-23T00:07:00.001-06:00

I'm pretty sure the judges gave some smart kid producer some holy hell...the one who had the idea to stage the auditions on an aircraft carrier docked off of San Diego. Lots of planes and boats going back and forth and making it hard for them to hear the contestants. It had to be tedious.

I will be shocked if we hear much more about any of the contestants featured tonight. I thought nearly all who went through were *been there done that* types with generic voices but nothing to knock your socks off. Since I waited over an hour through the boring football game AND overtime to see the show...I was hoping for more. Oh well...its auditions.

The first featured contestant came in a modified bikini and hung out in all the strategic places. She was well built and thought she was a shoe-in because her outfit would impress Randy and Steven and *I only need 2 votes*. She would like to work with animals or children if her singing career doesn't work out!!! God help the animals and children! She stunk up the carrier deck on not one, but two songs. Randy, bless his heart, said *if you are going to come dressed like that...you better have a voice*. Jennifer who was not impressed with her outfit said *it wouldn't matter if she wore a granny dress...her voice is not good*.

The second contestant was a pretty and sweet single mom who needs this to support her daughter. She is a generic diva and belted out *And I Will Always Love You* with some variation. If she makes it through Hollywood she will be the favorite of some of the Diva Lovers.

The third guy...who doesn't have a plan B...called Jerrod or Jareth Gibson is generic R & B . He made it through, generically.

Aubrey Deckmeyer is someone I could learn to loathe pretty easily. She is a pretty girl who couldn't remember whether she was auditioning for American Idol or America's Next Top Model. She had a generically sweet voice and did some fakey cutesy stuff. She strikes me as a generic biotch.  Gag me.

Alli Shields (Plant #1) comes to the auditions via the Ellen show. She wrote a song about Ellen, appeared on her show, and did some guest spot work for Ellen's production. She did a rap song, did her version of a ghetto dance (butt out shaking), and then finally sang a real song.   With a nasally voice which was generic Megan Joy. She seemed fun and had enormous confidence but not a lot of talent.

Next we meet Kyle Cruise, the college boy who is really proud that he is in a fraternity. He came dressed like one of the characters in Revenge of the Nerds and has a reputation as a ladies' man. They thought he was awesome.  His voice was generically pop like maybe Michael Buble or Scott the Blind Guy?

In comes another plant, Jim Carrey's daughter Jane. She wants to make it on her own...and to her credit she mentioned she actually has one or two real jobs and she isn't living off of her dad's fortune or doing sex tapes which are conveniently leaked to the internet. She isn't even making a living showing up a nightclubs that pay her to come and press the flesh of the ordinary patrons (ala Paris Hilton and all the Kardashians). She doesn't have a reality show. But, she doesn't sing that well either. She is the generic auditioner who has a sweet but weak voice and is normally told to *come back next year*. Except she made it through...not, I think, on her own.

Finally, we have generic blue collar country singer guy, Jason *Wolf* Hamlin who is a mechanic in real life and has a dead father who made Wolf's guitar (before he died) .  Wolf also acts like he's a bit crazy.   I think he might end up on the cusp in Hollywood but be cut before the final 24 in typical Idol sob story style.

The judges gave away 53 golden tickets in San Diego and went on and on about how great the field was.   I can only assume that they didn't feature the great ones...because this group was decidedly generic. Or maybe the planes and boats affected their ears to the point that they really didn't hear how weak this group was.

Oh Happy (Hallie) Day!

2012-01-19T22:34:00.000-06:00

Due to technical difficulties with the local Fox station, I essentially missed the first 3 contestants tonight. I could see but not hear the first one...the Asian guy with glasses; could hear but not see the second guy (the Grimm brother); and missed the third entirely.

So, the show really started for me with Creighton from NYC. When he said he was going to sing his own song I cringed...normally those songs are rubbish. And his was rubbish but he sang it well. I liked his voice.

Eben, the 15 year old seems like a great young kid. I wonder if his voice will change during the season? But he is still a baby and doesn't interest me all that much.

I felt bad for the Coal Miner's son. I suspect those judges and the pre-judges have heard Hallelujah so much by now they are ready to throw right on up on it and anyone who sings it. I love the song but Lee DeWyze, Simon his pandering enabler, and Lee's chorus of angels ruined it for me. Crystal was robbed and that is all there is to it.

Another grown up enters the room. I liked Erika a lot and her alto voice. I suspect it will hurt her with the Diva lovers though since I don't envision her belting out *And I Will Always Love You* and *And I'm Not Going*. She may be a dark horse or she may fade away.

Travis is making his 2nd attempt to go to Hollywood and this time his sob story carries him through. Crappy about his mom leaving but I think he would have been leaving without a golden ticket if she had not abandoned the family. I think he better be studying for his GED because his voice is ordinary.

Another ordinary voice was the sister of the Planker. Whose name I did not write down.  I would be surprised if we see much of her in the future but you never know.

And then...magic happened. Hallie Day. She has a sob story. She also has an amazing voice. I think of *I Will Survive* as a joke song (I really do think it would be fun to have it played at my funeral but I will be dead then so won't get to enjoy the joke).  So..why did I suddenly find myself with tears in my eyes as she was singing? I wish they had shown her second song...if she did sing one.   I hope she can stand up to the backbiters and divas in Hollywood because she is NOT ordinary by any means. I don't see her attracting the diva lovers though.

The diva lovers are those annoying women on the American Idol fan boards who always think that the one who sings the loudest and the highest and the most banal ballads is going to be the next Whitney Houston or Barbara Streisand. Last year, Pia was their favorite.  According to them, Pia would be outselling JLo, Beyonce, and Susan Boyles by now and pushing Kim Kardashian off of tabloid covers and Pippa Middleton off of the fashion sheets...so beloved would she be. Instead, Pia broke up with her DWTS boyfriend and is just now getting someone to give her studio time to make an album. She might as well have moved to Minnesota with Kris Humphries and had babies because no one cares.

So, its early for me to have a favorite but right now its Hallie Day. She may flame out in Hollywood or prove to be a real biotch and kick Eben out of her Hollywood group so I will try to contain myself for now.

Baby Love!

2012-01-18T22:58:00.001-06:00

No..I have no baby love but the Idol producers are clearly enamored with the young ones after the McCreery/Alaina one two punch last season. When the oldest auditioner in the first 40 minutes is 17 you know its going to be a long long season. I don't find these under 18 contestants endearing or cute and in fact find some of them revolting. Caveat: I love the real babies in my life but they are not auditioning for American Idol...if they were I would cut their mothers from my will.

Thank goodness we were spared of too many loser auditions...you know when they show somebody saying *I'm going to be the next American Idol* they are going to stink up the house. I did get a bit of a kick out the the African Country singer wannabe but he had about twice as much airtime as was necessary.

Standouts for me tonight in one way or another:

David Leathers (Mr. Steal Your Girl). I think he will be prominently featured in the Hollywood segments. I'm not a fan of his falsetto but he seems like a decent enough kid even though at 17, he is practically a senior citizen in the group.

Shannon Mag...something. Her dad pitched for the Cardinals in a World Series but no one remembered him. She is very tall. I thought her voice was OK. Steven put his foot in it commenting on her hotness in front of her dad. Very uncomfortable moment. Equally uncomfortable was watching her mother mouth the words and perform behind her like a pageant mom on Toddlers and Tiaras. You could almost hear her mom thinking *SPARKLE baby!*

Amy from Tennesee who lives in a tent (Hipsy). I liked her a lot but I'm guessing she will be chewed up in Hollywood by some divas. Hopefully she will last long enough to make a few bucks and can get out of the tent. Steven liked her a lot because he is a big Nature Boy and loves the forests. I know this because I read his autobiography this summer. (Your blogger is hard at work to keep you readers fully informed of all things Idol...even in the off season).

Stephanie Renee.  I'm guessing her surname is Crumplebutt or something like that and she is following Alaina's lead in dumping an unappealing name. I'm hoping she won't be Alaina/Suddeth redux. At least we didn't see a pageant mom in the backround.

Skylar/Colton. Poor Skylar. I really wanted to throttle the judges who fawned all over her brother and treated her like she was a turd in their punchbowl. I was not overly impressed with either one. But I get the feeling that Colton is the Kim Kardashian of the family and poor Skylar is the Khloe.

Lauren Mink. I was prepared to hate her for her blonde perfectness and her name alone. Then we found out she has a real job doing real good work and I was rooting for her to sing really well. I don't think she sang that well, but neither did Gwneth Paltrow when she sang the song in the movie of the same name.

Ashley *Joyhopper*. I think she is going to get real old real quick. I predict a major meltdown diva moment in Hollywood.

WT Thompson. The rocket scientist who quit his job at a federal prison with a wife who is six month pregnant. He should have been sent home without a ticket for stupidity and selfishness alone. And he really was pretty mediocre.

I really don't have anything to say about Brittany in the skin tight pants. I hope she disappears so I don't have to think of something to say about her in the future.

The judges loved Phillip Phillips so he will be a big feature in Hollywood. I thought he was OK. Maybe you had to be in the room to feel the *electricity*.

I cannot finish without commenting on the *Steven Tyler is a sex god* segment.  Didn't that woman who called him her future ex-husband look just like Tonya Harding with black hair? Maybe it was Tonya! If I were Steven I would worry about her stalking him. All of those ladies must have missed this photo of Steven, taken on his vacation in Hawaii http://www.tmz.com/2012/01/02/steven-tyler-topless-maui/#.TwKNqfKwUV0 .  Does a lifetime of drug-abuse cause man boobs?

Well, these audition shows are tedious.  I hope there are some adults auditioning in Pittsburgh.

Its That Time Again!

2012-01-17T13:34:00.001-06:00

Welcome to the FOURTH year of our blog! As a reminder, Auntee posts in red and KK posts in blue. We will be happy to slog through the very boring audition episodes for you and let you know who to watch out for in Hollywood! And who to love and who to hate.

Surprise Finale! Oh, wait, nevermind ...

2011-05-26T08:34:00.000-05:00

Those of you who have NOT known Scotty was going to win all season long have either (1) been living under a rock, or (2) been in serious denial. No surprises here, but also no strong feelings from this blogger either way.

As for the rest of the night:

Gladys Knight was breathtakingly gorgeous, and amazing to watch. They finally found somebody who could take the focus off of Jacob's "dancing", and up-stage him no matter how many obnoxious notes he tried to hit.

Judas Priest hobbled around, Rob Halford barely made it up the stairs, and James went bonkers all around him. James stole *that* show, even with the Village People ensemble.

Top 13 girls sang an awesome Beyonce montage, and then rocked out with Beyonce herself. (I personally enjoyed Naiema's dancing the best, of course.)

Haley sang with Tony Bennett, who looked old and frail, but twirlled Haley around without missing a beat. It was, of course, classic and just beautiful.

Casey and Jack Black growled at each other while 80's fly-girls shook their "fat bottoms" in the background. I'm still trying to decide if this was supposed to be funny, or serious.

I had every single TLC cassette tape growing up. Even without Lisa Left-eye Lopez, (and in spite of the obvious lip synching), they still rocked the stage.

I, too, danced along with Marc Anthony and found myself mezmerized with JLo's shaking booty.

Casey and James argued over whose elimination was more shocking, and Pia showed she actually might have a sense of humor in there somewhere by playing along with the boys.

Gaga was absolutely insane, as always. She threw herself off of a cliff, ladies and gentleman. Nigel couldn't top that in a million years.

Top 13 guys did a weird Tom Jones montage, and weird (orange) Tom Jones capped it off with more weirdness.

And Steven Tyler reminds all of America that no matter how insane his judging appears to be, he is a rock and roll God, and is incredible.

Then Scotty won.

He opted to hug his family instead of sing his stupid single. And if for no other reason than that, he deserves his Idol title. Congrats, young man.

Derelict Blogger Chimes In

2011-05-25T21:36:00.000-05:00

Shame on me...I didn't watch either episode this week. Call it sour grapes, call it being in Nantucket world, or just call it that I really really dislike Lauren Alaina and could not stand to see her sing one more song even if it meant missing David Cook last night and probably some nice performances by the other losers tonight. Because...I hate to say it...I'm glad Lauren is a Loser! I've tried to like her...I really have...but I just think she is an ordinary singer and pretty full of herself and was coddled into the finale at the expense of about everyone else in the top 13, including Mandiva, Jacob.

So, I see on Drudge that Scotty won and a source is saying he got nearly twice as many votes as Lauren. Not a big surprise to me, as if Dial Idol is even remotely accurate he has been getting 50% or more votes than his nearest competitor all season. I see that Haley got 25 million votes last week...which left the other 70 million to split between Lauren and Scotty. I'm guessing Lauren got 25 million plus whatever she needed to beat Haley and Scotty got the rest of the final three votes.

It will be somewhat interesting to see what happens to both of these young people post Idol.

Reading KK's review, I'm really glad I didn't have to watch Steven creepily fawn over Lauren. That whole thing was just weird from the get go which probably accounts for some of my irrational (I admit it is TOTALLY irrational) aversion to Lauren.

Now its time for So You Think You Can Dance.

Thanks for reading us this season...hope to be back next year!

And DAVID COOK was there!!!

2011-05-25T08:57:00.000-05:00

Best to Worst:

David Cook!! We'll never forget about you, because you're amazing. (And, as a child of the John Hughes generation, I wholeheartedly believe you can never go wrong with an 80's ballad-revamped.)

Lauren's Doctor!! Dressed up for the occassion in scrubs, and spoke in very technical terms "pulled a vocal chord". Fantastic performance!

Were there other performances? I must've slept through them.

Totally predictable. I could've written the entire show myself: Scotty deferrs on the coin flip, Lauren wears a Toddlers & Tiaras dress, Scotty dances through the audience and teen girls squeal, Lauren's stage parents get way too much camera time, Randy says "in it to win it", Steven Tyler creeply fawns all over Lauren.

Scotty's 1st two songs were "Gone" and "Check Yes Or No". He sang fine, did the obligatory eyebrow waggles, danced around a little, and the judges ate it up.

Lauren's 1st two songs were "Flat On The Floor" and "Maybe It Was Memphis". She sang fine (I couldn't hear anything different with her voice at all), did the obligatory booty shake, danced around a little, and the judges ate it up. (Especially Steven Tyler who finally admits he wants her to win because she's "pretty" - thanks for that, Steven.)

Now I actually liked the final songs for both Scotty and Lauren. I wouldn't download them off iTunes or anything, but they were decent.

Scotty's "Love You This Big" had lyrics all about being young and inexperienced. He wore a cute little suit. I like the slower side of Scotty - less cheese and more singing. He actually has a wonderful country voice. And he will absolutely have an amazing country career, win or lose.

Lauren's "Like My Mother Does" was the song that JLo thinks will launch her to the win. I'm a Mom. I also have a wonderful Mom who I hope to be like when I grow up because she's so amazing. So, I really should've choked up a bit watching Lauren serenade her mother (Mr. KK did. And he'll be pissed that I wrote that.) But I didn't choke up, even though it was a nice song and Lauren will do well with it as her 1st single.

(Side note: You may be disappointed to learn that the "best" song of the night was not actually an "original" song just for Lauren. It's been recycled over and over, and even recorded by the other mediocre, Jesus loving, patriotic, country teenager on AI: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FbYFJFoDoQ)

Who wins? I call it for Scotty. Mostly because he'll make more money for AI.

Judgment Day - Eve

2011-05-20T08:44:00.000-05:00

The only way I'm going to like watching next week's finale is if The Rapture takes the good-Christians Scotty and Lauren away and leaves the heathens Haley and Casey (and Steven Tyler) to perform.

Otherwise, we're going to have one boring country showdown.

I understand that the country music industry is huge. As is, clearly, the country AI fanbase. Carrie Underwood is a prime example of how AI + country music = super-stardom. And I've said from the beginning that Scotty will have a great country career even if he doesn't win. Given what we've seen about Lauren's parents (who clearly know how to brand their daughter and pimp her out), I bet Lauren will have a bit of a country career as well.

But some of those 95 million votes were for Haley. Those voters, I'll wager, are either lukewarm on country like me, or 100% anti-country like I'm assuming most of James' fanbase is. I'm wondering if AI producers fudged up a little by (obviously) pushing this country/country finale (from day 1), and potentially alienating a good portion (me, Tee, and Mr. KK) of the fans who would usually tune in and vote.

Haley went out rockin' it, for sure. And with class - thanking the judges, saying she had a blast (did you take notes Jacob?) I've been singing Bennie and the Jets all day, because she is just THAT good.

In the meantime, let's hope The Rapture saves us from next week's ho-hum finale.

YEEE HAAAAW!

2011-05-19T22:26:00.003-05:00

If I can survive the election of Obama I can certainly survive the elimination of Haley Reinhart.

But it still sucks.

I really thought Haley could pull it out over Country Barbie. But that last song sunk any chance she had. Of course, Scotty is never going home. No surprise there and I love Scotty. What is not to love? In hard times, America wants macaroni and cheese and not fois gras. Haley and James, gave them fois gras and they couldn't digest it.

Mrs. Suddeth (oh..you didn't know that Lauren's last name is Suddeth and not Alaina?...I guess Nigel thought Suddeth sounded too clunky or maybe she's had this stage name since her stage mom gave birth) as an experienced Toddlers and Tiara's contestant mom (or wanna be) has to be congratulated. Dangle your child in front of Steven Tyler by telling him his song is *your parents song*, have her do a cute little lap dance in Hollywood for Steven, and then when its clear that Scotty is the one to beat...switch your kid from singing pop to country. Next step: *Living with the Alainas*. A new reality series on TLC, Bravo, MTV or a the lesser cable channel called OWN. Mama Suddeth gets liposuction, a tummy tuck and boob job on Lauren's Idol earnings (hey it worked for Kate Gosselin) . Mama Suddeth starts hanging out with Dina Lohan. Lauren in rehab in 2 years. But I'm not bitter. Much.

Actually, Haley went a lot further than I thought she would.

Just warning you all, I may not blog the performance next week because I am not sure I can stand to watch 2 hours of country music when half of it is sung by Lauren. Except maybe David Cook is going to appear. I can always catch his performance on Youtube.

In it to win it, beautiful, gooseys

2011-05-19T09:13:00.000-05:00

At this point in the game, I assume the judges have given up on actual commentary and just moved on to repeat-mode?

Going back and reading some of my earlier posts, I expressed disappointment in the contestants this year. I couldn't find anyone to love or hate. I didn't think I'd even enjoy the show.

I stand corrected. Last night was just wonderful.

In order of performance:

Scotty sings “Amazed” by Lonestar. The quintessential country wedding song. He sings it fine, it’s probably technically perfect or something. But it’s sung *just like* Lonestar sang it. I’d really, really like to see Scotty show a little creativity or artistic control. But it’s a little late for that, I guess. And why should he, the judges (and America) are all over him just the way he is.

Lauren sings “Wild One” because she totally gets that America wants her to be country music’s next Carrie Underwood/Kelly Pickler. Her white go-go boots and ridiculous earrings are interesting (read: ugly), which I guess is good because her performance wasn’t anything special. Unless, of course, you’re pervy Stephen Tyler.

Haley’s Zeppelin song was just insane. That, dancing-monkey-tweens, is an actual PERFORMANCE. And maybe it’s because my own baby girl has an extra-special bond with her Daddy, but I got a little choked up watching Haley fawn all over her father.

Jimmy Iovine should have been in charge of picking all the songs all season. It would’ve been a much better show all around. And the man can wear baseball hats and t-shirts all he wants, Ryan Seacrest, because he’s a genius.

“Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not” was tailor made for Scotty. Never heard it before, pretty sure the original version isn’t as good as Scotty’s. If I were a 17 year old girl, I’d be in love with Scotty. The guitar was a nice change from the obnoxious flute-microphone. And Paula Abdul … I mean, JLo … was right about Scotty’s hair. Apparently, the judges have run out of phrases praising Scotty, so that’s what they went with.

Jimmy picked another teenager-ish song for Lauren, after waiting all season to have her sing “If I Die Young”, apparently. Honestly, all I remember about the performance is (1) thinking “these girls wear pantyhose every time?”, (2) the music not starting when Lauren thought it should, and (3) her missing her key change (I swear I heard an “oops” in there, but I’d had some wine, so I could be imagining that.) The judges, not wanting to send Lauren into another tail-spin of self-doubt, praised her for missing her key change, and blamed her emotions (?). Whatever.

Solidifying his weird obsession with Stevie Nicks, Jimmy picks “Rhiannon” for his clear favorite, Haley. I still have Didi Benami’s version of this song on a CD in my car, and I play it all the time, because it was amazing. Haley showed some of her own creativity and artistic control (take notes, Bobsey Twins) by changing it up a little. I have to admit that I, too, was distracted by the wind-machine. How can she sing with that thing blowing in her face like that?

The judges Googled “deep country voice”, “17 year old country girl”, and “screaming, growly song”, and that’s how they picked their songs. Or maybe they had a monkey do it for them?

Have I mentioned that I'm not a country fan (once or twice?). Apparently, I should know “She Believes In Me” because, apparently, Kenny Rogers is classic-country. But I’ve never heard it. There was a lot of talk about “hitting a big chorus” or something. Frankly, it sounded like every other song and ever other chorus Scotty has ever sung.

I’m pretty sure that *I* could sing “I Hope You Dance”. Continuing on with the “handle Lauren with gentle gloves” theme, the judges punted this one. Lauren donned her ugly prom dress, and put her hair down – 100% Toddlers and Tiaras. The judges, however, loved it. Stephen wants to sleep with her, it gave JLo “gooseys”, and I’m sure Randy said “in it to win it” or something.

After repeatedly criticizing Haley for being too “growly” and too “screamy”, the judges pick the growliest, screamiest song every written – “You Oughta Know”. I was an angsty teen in the 90’s, I dressed like Alanis Morrisette, I’m sure I screamed this song about an old boyfriend. I like the song in general, but it was, in fact, sabotage. Haley did the best she could, even remembering to change the lyrics for TV. Not my favorite performance of hers.

I’d like to believe that Haley earned the respect of enough fans to make it to the finale. But, I’m pretty convinced it’ll be a Lauren/Scotty showdown.

Dancin' and Believin' and Stalkin' (aka Lets Send Haley Home)

2011-05-18T23:20:00.001-05:00

Well, I still love Scotty, but the kid is on his own tonight. Haley is my new heroine. I sent an email to some of the blog followers early in the week regarding the judge's song choice being a set up to sabotage Haley. And I am not sure that even Led Zeppelin's personal intervention on her behalf, or Iovine's unrequited love for Stevie Nicks is going to help her overcome the contrast between psycho stalker lyrics that no one could understand (which had to be changed because the original lyrics are not fit for prime time) that have no melody and have to be *sung* at lightning speed and the easy melody and feel good lyrics in the songs the judges chose for the Bobbsey Twins. If you thought Haley didn't sing the verse well on *You Oughta Know* and go watch Alanis Morisette sing it on youtube. She doesn't do it any better than Haley did tonight. The wrong song for the wrong night and only Haley could even attempt to pull it off.

I know you all doubt me when I say *I predicted that* but once I knew the songs the judges had chosen, I knew the order of performance would be contestant's song choice first, Jimmy's song choice second, and judges song choice last. There was no way they were going to let Haley have the last word with a great performance a third week in a row. And there was NO way she was going to make an impression with the judge's song choice compared to sunshine lollipops and rainbows.

So..I'm going to go round by round in performance order:

Scotty goes first. Its not the best place to be but if the Dial Idol results are even remotely accurate, the kid is getting votes at a ratio of 2 to 1 over his closest competitor and is running away with the competition.

Scotty's choice: I do not even remember the name of the song. My notes say I was smiling and that I was happy he went up in his range. I still love Scotty. The judges loved it

Lauren's choice: *She's a Wild One*. She got to mention her best friend and the song talked about her singing at three on her daddy's knee so everyone would know she is still just a baby and Jennifer affirms that by calling her *our baby*. It was fine. Judges offer some advice to her but then say she was wonderful. So..advice in and out in Lauren's 16 year old mind.

Haley's choice: *What is and What Should Never Be*. A Led Zeppelin hit from the late 60's. I didn't know it because I was listening to the Monkees in the late 60s. I am sure that disillusioned James' fans will think she is pandering for his fan's votes because she went rock. Think again. She has covered it before with her little home town band. Think again once more. According to Haley's parents, after Haley sung House of the Rising Sun, Robert Plant and the other guy from Zeppelin called Idol and offered their entire songbook to Haley to sing ONE song ONE time. The only other contestant Zeppelin cleared a song for was Adam the Great.

Did you know Haley had parents? I didn't. We know all about Lauren's dogs, and Scotty's baseball team and James' sad life, but no one has ever told us who Haley is and where she came from. Because no one ever thought she would make the top 13 let alone the top three. Come to find out her parents are musicians too, but have day jobs. Her daddy has worked double shifts and done gigs at night to earn money for the plane tickets for them to come see her perform the few times they were able to put the money together. I saw them speak on an internet video at the Wheeling Town Council meeting where they thanked the town for the homecoming the town gave Haley. You would want to know them. They sort of reminded me of the J's. The mom is all bubbly and talkative and the dad is more reticent. I'm glad they let him play with her.

She nailed that song...falling down and all. Randy and Steven give her her 4th standing O. Jennifer sits there thinking *oh shit...she's going to be the next most beautiful woman in America and she didn't even have autotune!* As Steven is finally saying something besides *it was beautiful* and getting ready to give Haley huge Steven compliments, Jennifer interrupts him in case he goes too far in praising Haley. Go Haley! (No wonder they didn't put the contestant's song choice last).

Judges give the round to Haley and so do I.

Second round..Iovine's choice

Scotty sings *Are You Gonna Kiss Me*. I thought it was fine but I I actually liked the first song (which I don't remember the name of) better.

Lauren sings something about dying young and wearing pearls. I will give her this...as she ran out of breath at the end of each phrase...it was somewhat realistic. For once, the judges say she missed a note or two.

I have now decided that Iovine is in love with Haley. Rumor is that back in the day he had an unrequited love for Stevie Nicks and he chooses Rhiannon for Haley. I wish Haley hadn't said she was worried about remembering the words because I was holding my breath the whole time she sang it. Haley sings it exactly like Jimmy tells her too and remembers the words. Much talk about the wind machine from the judges because we cannot talk about how well Haley performed the song.

Judges say Scotty/Lauren won the round...I say Haley did.

Third round Judge's choice.

Scotty sings *She Believes In Me*. Very well. I got tears in my eyes but I have a soft spot for Scotty.

Lauren gets her text message and practically dances in glee because she knows she got the easiest and most appealing song in the world singing *I Hope You Dance*. She looks nice in her blue dress. She sings it ok but still runs out of breath at the end of every phrase. She gives Jennifer goose bumps. I thought it was ho-hum. But I never got the Lauren love.

Judges choice for Haley? A song about a stalker whose love left her for another. A song that the lyrics have to be changed for prime time. A song with no melody in the verse with too many words. A song which Alanis Morisette cannot sing well. Lots of praise for how Haley sang the chorus. The chorus is the only part of that song that has any melody to it!

The judges verdict? Only Steven is honest in choosing Haley. The other two go for Lauren and her pageant performance of *I Hope You Dance*.

Predictions? Scotty is never going to go home. Confetti next week for him. Haley should be in the finale with him. But I don't know if she can overcome the sugar sweet gal from Rossville, Georgia.

If Haley goes home she went home fighting. Had three hard songs to sing this week. Nailed them all.

It's Bush's Fault...No...It's Haley's Fault...No...its the SMIRK!

2011-05-13T14:54:00.002-05:00

Its a bit hard to blog nearly 24 hours after the worst evening on Idol since Kris Daughtry was eliminated, but Blogger was out of service last night. While waiting to blog I had the pleasure (not) of reading the forum boards at americanidol.com as fans old and new wailed, wept, and rendered their Metallic t-shirts mourning Jame's elimination. Well, let me offer my sincere condolences as I liked James too and was NOT happy to see him sent home.

Inexplicably (to me), the general consensus is that it is all Haley's fault he was eliminated. Haley has been the object of hate on the boards since St. Pia went home because she did not wail, weep, and render her sequined top when St. Pia was elimated. She DISRESPECTED St. Pia. For those of you who were unaware of this controversy, as Ryan was getting ready to announce St. Pia's elimination, the camera flashed on Haley who was saying something to Casey and smiling...then...when St. Pia's name was called, Haley was looking away from the action and  out into the audience with a smile on her face. A fair observer might say she was not paying any attention to Ryan but was distracted by her own happiness at being safe (the WITCH!) and something happening in the audience but...from that moment on...Haley has been hated for her *attitude*. Talking back to the judges Wednesday night just added fuel to the Haley hate bonfire and within 5 minutes after the show ended last night at least 10 threads had been posted about the evil, heartless, no-talent Haley who knocked James out of the final three. The language used to describe her and her fans was not fit for adult conversation and was so offensive that I actually reported one poster. And of course the Lauren fan's jumped on the bandwagon posting messages to the Durbin fans that Haley had *smirked* when James was eliminated so *who are you going to vote for now...the evil witch or Lauren?*

I, on the other hand, being the fair-minded person that I am, am blaming  Nigel Lythgoe, Randy Jackson and JLo who were so determined that their Little Miss Perfect, Lauren, come back from her bottom 2 last week, they trashed Haley's first performance Wednesday night, in the hopes that Lauren would get more votes than Haley. It backfired on them big time because the rest of America who doesn't spend time reading the AI forums didn't get the word that Haley is an insufferable witch with an attitude and saw a young woman, who has been their go to punching bag all season, get punched in the gut again and fighting back for the first time.   A bunch of people who don't vote very much started voting for her and James got caught in the crossfire.

It didn't help that for whatever reason...fatigue...loneliness...or the insipid theme he had to work with this week, James did not perform up to his usual standard (nor did he last week).   Actually, the only one who had a stand out performance on Wednesday was Haley the hated.

Needless to say, I was devastated when Lauren was called safe right away. I'm sure they let her be first for fear she would blubber up the stage all night if she was held in suspense. I was pretty sure that Haley was a goner then and was really happy when she was safe until I realized that it meant James was probably going home because...love him or hate him...Scotty is unstoppable.

I am ALMOST getting KK's love of all things Gaga.  Gaga won me over when she chose to perform the song that Haley performed last week...you know...the one Randy and JLo hated? I think Gaga was giving Randy and JLo a big fat middle finger in choosing that song and I think they deserved it.

Not too impressed with Enrique and Jordin.

Now...for the record...according to a reporting for Entertainment Weekly...who was in the audience and saw what the camera did not see...Haley was not smirking when James was eliminated. She was the only one of the contestants CRYING as James' exit video was played (our resident blubber mouth was dry eyed).

So don't blame Haley!

PS: Scotty is on his own next week. I'm voting for Haley.

God Bless the USA

2011-05-12T09:27:00.000-05:00

My dialing fingers are tired. I have voted, a lot, for the 1st time this season. Mr. KK (who has now been outed as an Idol watcher) voted until his cell phone battery died.

I did it to right an injustice.

Worst to best:

Scotty - Let me start by saying this: I'm OVER Scotty's holier than though ultra-conservative/religious schtick. Kissing the cross after meeting Gaga? Because she told you to sing straight into the microphone? To save your soul, I guess? WTF?

He pulled a stunt straight out of the Kristy Lee Cook playbook and found a song about God, September 11th, and America all in one. Plus, Bin Laden is dead, so the timing of his "Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning" was genius. Horribly exectued from a "Am I watching a 6th grade play" standpoint, but who is going to critique a song about America?

Both of Scotty's songs were boring as hell. I've never heard "Young Blood" and I hope I never hear it again. Performance wise, it was, again, totally safe. Didn't show any actual "talent", and could've been sung exactly that well by any 1/2 drunk cowboy at a line-dancing bar. Although the 1/2 drunk cowboy probably would've had better moves.

Lauren Alaina - Another brilliant competitive play: reminding America that you're from an area devestated by tornadoes. Pulled at heart-strings, mentioned God, check. But again, poor execution. And I won't even comment on the dress. Oops, I just did.

I agree with Auntee about the "I'm evil" deal, too. If you don't want to say you're evil, why'd you pick a song ENTIRELY about being evil? (Because, I see now, Sto-blah and Lieb-blah don't give many options.)

I like Lauren, but both performances tonight were Toddlers and Tiaras. Complete with ridiculous pagenty outfits, and obsurd false eyelashes.

James - *Disclaimer I had no idea Randy was in Journey. Even though they mentioned it, apparently, 87 times during the show.*

Another brilliant competitive choice. Thanks to The Sopranoes, Glee, and Rock of Ages, "Don't Stop Believin'" is well known by even the newest of cell phone wielding teeny-boppers. Again, though, I think it was boring and safe. He sang it EXACTLY like Journey.

Love Potion No. 9 is quite possibly the dumbest song ever written. Although, I'll admit to liking it when I was 5 or 6 years old. He used some pyro at the end, so I guess it seemed "rocker"?

Haley - After weeks of being lambasted while her competitors are over-praised, Haley finally stood up for herself. I normally hate it when contestants argue with the judges, but last night I wished they'd cut off J-Lo and Randy's mics, and let Haley blast *them*.

Was her "Earth Song" the best performance she's ever given? Maybe not. (Mr. KK believes that she's pandering to Jacob's fans by including the gospel choir.) Was it 100 times better than Scotty's boring ass performance? Hands down.

And "I Who Have Nothing" could not BE more appropriate for her at this point in time. Not only did she do exactly what Gaga told her to (which, incidentally, gave me chills when she did it - Gaga is brilliant), but she blew her cheesy, gyrating, eyebrow wiggling, teeny-bopper, competition straight out of the water.

If I ruled the results - Scotty or Lauren would be on their way out.

But I'm afraid it will be Haley.

Also, last night affirmed my love for all things Gaga. She's brilliant, crazy, and amazingly talented. I loved watching her interact with the contestants (especially Scotty and Lauren who were terrified of her), and as far as I'm concerned, she could permanently replace Jimmy Iovine.

Well, at Least Lieber and Stoller had a Good Night...

2011-05-11T22:12:00.000-05:00

the Idols, me, and I daresay much of America...not so much. If having Idols sing one hit wonders from 50 plus years or so was Nigel Lythgoe's idea, he must have been accidentally kicked in the head by one of those kids auditioning for his other show, So You Think You Can Dance. When this theme was announced, not having heard of these guys, I went to the website to see what they had written. Seriously, I recognized about 11 songs, and none of them, including those sung tonight, were what I would call something you would want to hear again unless you were having a party comprised of people over 50 who gathered only to make fun of the stupid songs that were popular when they were eight years old.   I could not imagine how these kids could pick 2 songs each from such a mediocre list of songs, most of which were gimmicky novelty songs of which Love Potion No. 9 is probably the best.  Obviously they could not, Gaga and Jimmy rebelled, and in the last 2 days they told the Idols to pick an *inspirational song.*   What a way to sabotage all 4 of them on the most important night of the season. They should have been able to pick 2 songs they loved and sing with passion and abandon.

So, Auntee is cranky. Yes, it was a busy day and I don't like busy days much these days ( the first part was lovely at my meeting but then I had to sit in a doctors office for 2 hours) and yes, Mr. Auntee decided to make all sorts of plans which required my input and action on a very busy day which was a bit irritating, but I think a good Idol show would have brought me back to my being about as cheerful as Auntee is ever going to get.  But I am still cranky.
So...here is my cranky take on what happened tonight.

Excuse me...I just took a break to place my cat Maxine in time out because she has Mr. Auntee disease tonight and won't leave me alone despite having the faucet running fresh water for her and 2 bowls of food.

I don't think there was a performance of the night tonight and really only 2 that came close.   So, I will go by contestant in order of appearance.

James.   Don't Stop Believing would be a perfect inspirational song for him if the Glee kids hadn't sung it to death for the past 3 or 4 years. It also helped to suck up to Randy...but it IS a good song. He did fine but I wasn't blown away by it. I'm not sure if its because James lacked energy singing it or if I am just sick of hearing the song.   His second performance, LP #9 was somewhat better although he never did get his hips to move.  My spirit was not moving on either song. The judges loved him as usual. Some critics say he is pitchy. I don't know pitchy until my ears hurt and he has not reached that point with me. So...I give him a B tonight.

Haley got Randy and JLo hate on her first song. And for the first time she talked back to the judges. Normally, I disapprove of it but this girl has been the judges punching bag from the beginning of the season. Normally she takes it in her stride but got a little *emo* (her words) tonight. However, my notes as she was singing were: *not an audience pleasing song*; *sort of a downer*; well sung*. Of course, I never got the Michael Jackson love even before he started sleeping with little boys. The only song of his I like is Billie Jean and only when David Cook sings it. I think Randy was over the top criticizing her vocals and I was glad Steven finally shut him down.  Then, she comes out with *I Who Have Nothing* (which at that point was pretty appropo) and slays the judges with it to the point of another standing ovation. I thought it was good but not as good as House of the Rising Sun and its still a stupid song.  I give her a B plus tonight with a star for talking back to the judges.

Scotty sings the patriotic song and it was one his fans have been asking for, so on the probably 2 days notice he had to come up with one, it was a good choice. The chorus was either ahead or behind him which ruined the performance for me and I thought it was a little subdued, even for Scotty.  *Young Blood* is just another stupid song and he did with it what he could but I was not in love with that one either.  So, he ties with James for a B.

Now...this will surprise you because you KNOW I think Lauren is a spoiled little brat and do NOT want her to win this thing. I thought she took the prize in the inspirational song portion of the show and that this was her best solo performance of the season.   She has sort of milked the tornado victims to death (she is doing a charity concert for them the *going home* week whether she is in the final three or not...how clever is THAT?...her parents obviously hired a better publicist than even Pia hired). Her *Trouble*, while praised by the judges was I thought completely affected and I saw the Toddlers and Tiaras contestant again. If you don't want to sing *I'm evil*, then pick a song where those are not the only words in it. All I could hear by the end of it was *I'm awful, I'm awful, I'm awfuuuullllll*.   Lets face it, she could have come out and farted her songs tonight and the judges would have praised her in order to avoid another *oooo....poor me...I'm in the bottom two* sobfest. I averaged her grades and gave her a B too.

So..despite Haley's horrible song choice on the first song, she narrowly comes in with the highest grade from me.

I cannot conclude without commenting on Gaga. One of Mr. Auntee's *let me just interrupt any peace you will have today* moments was coming in at the beginning of the show to tell me that I should skip Idol to see the Lady Gaga special (he thought he was being so cute). I informed him I didn't need to watch her on the special because she was going to be on Idol tonight.   He retreated to the *time out* room.   I still don't get her music and I really don't like the *let me look as outrageous as I possibly can* style, but I thought she was really nice to the contestants and offered some good advice to them so now I may reconsider my opinion of her.

And, as risque as her advice to Scotty may have been about the microphone, I have learned from reading elsewhere that she is absolutely right. Those microphones are designed to deliver the sound when held straight up...if they are tilted or held sideways, you lose part of the sound.

I'm not sure what will happen tomorrow. I want Lauren to go home but I'm pretty sure it will be Haley or even possibly James.

And FINALLY...I think there may be some new readers out there and if so, please feel free to register as a follower and to add your comments to our posts. We LOVE comments, even if they do not agree with us and the more we have the more entertaining the blog will be!

Final Jacob Jabs

2011-05-09T16:21:00.001-05:00

Obviously I'm thrilled about the results. Not much to say about them except: Long, LONG overdue.

So, here's some additional fodder to entertain you for awhile.

Need a laugh? It's Jimmy's fault:

http://www.tmz.com/2011/05/06/american-idol-jimmy-iovine-jacob-lusk-song-reject-elimination-song-chioce/?adid=featuredhp

But it's not just Jimmy. Nothing is ever Jacob's fault:

http://www.popeater.com/2011/04/15/idol-finalist-jacob-lusk-was-arrested-the-same-week-he-auditio/

I wonder whose fault it will be when he has to go back to work at the spa instead of to the recording studio? America's, I presume.

P.S. Isn't Mr. KK funny? You all should really have the pleasure of watching AI with him, because it's a riot.

Jacob, Your Mirror Just Broke

2011-05-05T21:09:00.000-05:00

I have seen four and three-fourths seasons of Idol exits and I can honestly say that Jacob Lusk exited the Idol stage with the least amount of class of any one in the top tier. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to see the last of him (except for the finale, unfortunately but I do have a mute button). It took sixty million votes to get rid of him but at last he is gone.

This man cannot even fake humility. I really believe when he looks into the mirror he sees divinity...or at least divanity. When asked what he will remember about his Idol experience the man who had just been voted off says: *I think America has fallen in love with me*. This follows such modest gems as *If I'm in the bottom three, America needs to look in the mirror* and *I'm sharing my gift with America*.

So, he is singing his swan song and I'm thinking...well that isn't bad...and I'm starting to like his singing...and the other Idols are looking on and you can see they think he is doing a great job and admiring his talent. And then he WON'T STOP! He does about 30 seconds of his riffs and won't acknowledge his peers who are trying to support him in his darkest hour because...and I truly believe this...Jacob thinks that he is so great that Idol may just go over time so America, who has fallen in love with him, can hear more of his wonderfulness. I now know why they had the hook in vaudeville. What a total ass!

I am thrilled Mr. KK was a guest blogger this week! I'm also thrilled that Jimmy Iovine agreed with me about the quality of this week's performances! Although, I will admit I was probably blinded by Idol glasses in praising James so much. Even his staunchest fans felt he fell short this week. And I do know who Jordin Sparks is, Mr. KK. I just didn't know she ever had a hit song (but I listen to talk radio all the time). Do I get credit for knowing that Chris Brown beat up Rihanna?

I hate when they do that divide the stage and let someone decide who is in the bottom 2 trick and was glad Scotty just said no and had to be dragged over to James and Haley. Lauren lost complete control the minute she knew she was not going to stand next to James...the pout on her face was...well a pout worthy of the queen bee of Toddlers and Tiaras who realizes she is not going to win the Super Grand Supreme title. I KNOW she is only 16. So was Allison and Allison NEVER let us see her sweat. I'm pretty tired of them coddling Lauren. Although, seeing her first song played back, I realize it was better than I thought it was last night. She does the best when she is singing with someone else.

Over the past few weeks, one of the mentors must have gotten to Iovine and pulled him off of the Haley hate train. He actually acted like he gave a hoot about her tonight. I agree with Mr. KK, that Jennifer's criticism of her first song was just plain bitchy. And I withdraw my statement that Iovine was trying to sabotage her.

Speaking of JLo...for a 40 year old woman...she can dance. There is no way she was singing that song all the way through as even she would have been too breathless with all that dancing. I still hate the current trend that every song has to have some random rapper in it.

I enjoyed Lady Antebellum. I understand the lead woman singer whose name I should but do not know, auditioned for Idol and was rejected. Probably for Kristy Lee Cook.

The best thing about Jacob leaving tonight is that Mr. KK will keep watching Idol.

Guest Blogger: Mr. KK

2011-05-05T11:32:00.000-05:00

KK is unavailable to blog today, so she asked me, Mr. KK, to take her place because we generally share the same brain when it comes to evaluating the live show performances.

Without further ado, worst to best from last night:

WORST (5): Jacob:

I don't understand how he hasn't been voted off yet and I am starting to worry that the longer he stays the more likely it is that he is going to win the whole thing. If that happens, I will never watch Idol again. For his first song, he chose "No Air" which is the only Jordin Sparks song that I actually like. (Auntee, you may have been joking but if you really don't know who she is, she won Idol a few years ago). "No Air" was clearly meant to be sung as a duet, but I think Jacob is probably used to doing things by himself that were meant to be done with others. His performance of the song was just terrible, probably because Jacob is about as contemporary as the carpenter jeans that I can still not let go of. On a side note, I am sofa king tired of J-Lo interrupting the other judges when they start to give negative comments that she doesn't agree with. I really wish Randy would have told her to shut up when she interrupted him. It makes me miss Simon even more because he certainly would have put her in her place. Back to Mr. Lusk...for his next "hit" he chooses "Love Hurts," a song made popular by Nazareth in the 70s that I really like as well. Love hurts...more like my head hurts after listening to him butcher this song.

(4) James:

Yes Auntee, you read that right. James was just not very good last night. I think people that liked his performances last night had Idol goggles on. What I mean is that if you heard these same performances of James' on the radio, you would immediately change the channel. He started off the night with a Jared Leto song that isn't that great of a song to begin with and James proceeded to sing it with tons of pitch problems and he even seemed off key at times. Of course the judges praised his performance, likely because they decided a long time ago that they wanted him to win this year. Look, I really think James appears to be a very genuine and nice man and I truly hope he has a good career. Having said that, he continued his terrible night by being pitchy on "Without You," a song that everyone loves. The judges even seemed to think he did a bad job but were afraid to say anything negative about him. Don't worry judges, AI voters are like mice following your directions as if you were the pied pipers.

(3) Scotty:

I thought his performance of "Gone" was fun but I didn't care too much for the song. He then offered an absolutely boring performance of "Always on My Mind." Don't get me wrong, he sang it well but it just seemed to be lacking emotion. I know that this was originally an Elvis song, but people from my generation only think of this as a Willie Nelson song. I've seen Willie perform that song live in person twice and there was never anything boring about it. Maybe it would have been better if Willie shared his herbs with Scotty before the performance.

(2) Lauren:

Her performance of "Flat on the Floor" was my favorite performance of hers all year. That song is fast-paced and very wordy and seems like a hard song to sing. I think she nailed it and blew away the two performances that had proceeded her. The judges loved it, especially Steven who always seems to look at Lauren in a creepy way. Another side note: We've been watching and enjoying NBC's "The Voice" and I encourage you to watch it. We need to have a vote as to the biggest perv judge between Steven Tyler and Cee-Lo. KK thinks Cee-Lo's tyrannosaurus rex arms would win that battle. Back to Lauren...Her performance of "Unchained Melody" didn't blow me away but I think she sang it very well. She didn't have any of the pitch problems that some of the other contestants had last night. I had a Righteous Brothers cassette when I was growing up (ya, that's right, a cassette tape) and I don't think anyone will ever sing that song as good as the brothers did. But I think Lauren did a very good job with it and really showed that she has a pretty dang good voice.

(1) Haley:

I think Haley has the best and the most unique voice left in this competition. Her initial performance of the unreleased Lady GaGa song was fantastic. I think Jimmy actually likes Haley a lot and wants her to win this. It certainly had to take some convincing from Jimmy for GaGa to agree to let Haley perform a song that GaGa hasn't yet released to the public. I think she did an amazing job on the song and I don't think the song itself was bad. Randy and J-Lo obviously disagreed. I think J-Lo is just jealous of the fact that Haley has a better voice than J-Lo herself (something that we likely won't be able to truly assess tonight on the results show given that J-Lo will almost certainly be lip singing). I think Randy just agreed with J-Lo so that she wouldn't interrupt him again. I also think it's hypocritical of the judges to bash Haley for singing an "unknown" song when other contestants did the same. I don't think James' Jared Leto song is topping the charts; and only country music fans have probably ever heard "Gone" that Scotty performed. It certainly has to be a sign of the apocalypse that Steven Tyler was the voice of reason when he told Haley that when someone can take a song that we don't know and make it work, that's a beautiful thing.

The only good thing about the negative criticism Haley got on her first song was that she was able to have a wonderful "FAH Q judges" moment when she just killed "House of the Rising Sun." It was definitely the best version of that song that I have ever heard.

Predictions:

Bottom three should be: Jacob, James, Scotty

Bottom three will be: we probably won't find out for sure but it will probably be Jacob, Haley, and Lauren

Going home: unfortunately, I think it's probably going to be Haley given the negative comments. Jacob, you are the weakest link...hopefully we get to say goodbye.

Now and Then? I Ask How and When?

2011-05-04T22:12:00.001-05:00

HOW can Jacob still be here and WHEN will he be gone? More on that subject in a moment.

First, our friends at Vote For the Worst pointed out it was rather odd to see Sheryl Crow mentoring, since in 2007 she trashed Idol for its commercialism. If you care to see her opinion,click on this link http://www.buddytv.com/articles/american-idol/sheryl-crow-doesnt-get-america-4988.aspx. She has evidently changed her tune or she is big buddies with Iovine and has decided that he has taken the *commercialism* out of Idol (yeah...thats it as Iovine has recording rights to all the Idols and their offspring). I know she is very highly regarded but I don't know her music although perhaps I should get to know her music. All I know about her is her suggestion to use only one square of toilet paper to solve global warming. I think she may have also suggested that people stop washing their hair. I have to say, she looked clean enough tonight but I don't think I would want to shake her hand. Enough about her.

So, down to the bottom 5 and Randy tells everyone how important tonight is. After tonight, I am pleasantly surprised to say that I was right all along in my favorites as the three of them stood head and shoulders above the other two.

Lets start with Jacob Lusk who early on talked about his ability to put his *skank* on a performance. Or was it *stank*. After all these weeks, Randy has just discovered that Jacob doesn't *know who he is as an artist*. Randy is probably right about that but why bring it up now? He sings some song by Jordin Sparks (who?) and the guy who beat Rihanna up (I think) and undulates his body with his legs apart reminding me eerily of Kristy Lee Cook in her finest moments. I don't know what that was about except as he was singing about needing air I think he ran out of air (at least the kind you breathe in and out through your nose and mouth) but given his position he m ay have been expelling some through the posterior. Then... to further accentuate Randy's criticisms he chooses a rock song, Love Hurts as his second offering of the night. Which had an unfortunate refrain of *It Hurts*. I cannot have been the only viewer thinking *Yes, it hurts... please go away Jacob!*

And then there is Lauren. Who is not the next Carrie Underwood but wants to be. She does not have Carrie's range so cannot sing one of her heartwrenching songs and instead chooses an upbeat song about being on the floor. She sounded like a pageant contestant doing Carrie Underwood. Sheryl at least told her to quit moving her butt around the stage and stand still and sing. And that is not a reference to her butt being big...I bet she is like a size 4 or something. In Hollywood, that is fat. She chooses Unchained Melody for her second song because it her her parent's song. Her parent's have a lot of songs because I'm pretty sure she charmed Steven at her audition by telling him that *I Don't Want To Miss a Thing* was her parents' song...but maybe her parents just have dozens of special songs. The Righteous Brothers are old time favorites of mine and the song is a classic. She did not know what to do with it. At the beginning she started to countrify it and I thought eerily again of Kristy Lee Cook and her rendition of Eight Days A Week. Then she slid into an Archie melisma treatment. If she had a moment it was a Pia moment as I was completely bored, felt nothing, and couldn't wait for Scotty to sing.

And...if the top three are not James, Scotty, and Haley then I guess I will have to relax and watch America pick another Taylor Hicks. I cannot say which one of them was the best tonight because they all had moments, so I will go in order of performance.

James always delivers. I did not know the first song but enjoyed it. He was back to his *wheelhouse* of high notes, lots of energy, and special effects. Then he sings Harry Nilsson...bringing back lots of memories for me of a guy who was not all that well known even back then. This guy is so NOT Adam Lambert. There is not one bit of contrivance about him. And he did control his emotions and it was a moving performance. And..another way he is different from Adam...he cares about his fans. During the Idol tour of the Kris Allen season, Adam frequently refused to meet with fans after the show to sign autographs. It was just too taxing and exhausting for him. The Idol forums have several people who are reporting about James sending letters to them, drawing pictures for them etc. He REALLY wants to win this and you cannot help rooting for him for his hard work and his excellence each week.

Scotty is still my guy. I really was sort of *Whoa* with his first performance as he was moving everywhere and I couldn't keep up with him. So much for the *boring* critics. Then he sang Elvis again. And it was simple. But that boy knows his phrasing. There are several critics on the Idol forum boards saying that Scotty is no better than thousands of singers in Nashville. I don't know. Sheryl Crow seemed impressed by him and since she lives there, I guess she ought to know if he is special or not. She seemed to think that he was.

As for Haley. I am no fan of Lady Gaga and I was thinking *oh no...another bad song choice from her*. Then we get the story of Iovine suggesting it to her, getting special permission from Gaga herself and I'm thinking...maybe Iovine has changed his tune and is actually going to help Haley out. NO. It was pure Iovine sabotage. Haley...do not listen to that man again...ever! Someone said that Iovine was once in love with Stevie Nicks who rejected him and Haley reminds him of her and thats why he hates Haley. Actually, however, I liked the song. The judges did not. Of course to me, NONE of the current songs sung by the Idols was recognizable so when Haley sang this unreleased song it was no different to me than the songs sung by the rest of them.

And then, Haley sings *House of the Rising Sun*. I do not know if you all remember when Siobahn sang it last year and Simon crucified her for it (too harshly I thought then). After hearing Haley sing it tonight, I think Simon was probably too gentle on Siobahn. Randy was right..best single performance of the night.

For like the 5th week in a row I am predicting that Jacob will go home. At some point he has to...right?

Mr. Kissy

2011-04-29T08:24:00.000-05:00

Gettin' a little pushy with those lips since he laid them on JLo. But he went out with class, and I agree with Jimmy that Casey is going to have a good career as a singer/songwriter/artist, because he is very talented.

Crystal Bowersox looked gorgeous. Celebrity has done wonders for her. Her song was a little boring, maybe, a little too folksy for my taste. But she is so talented, and so fun to watch.

I think Bruno Mars' Lazy Song is stupid. Although, I woke up this morning singing "today I just don't feel like doing anything", and considered calling in sick to work to watch William and Kate.

I'm obviously hacked off that Jacob is still around. He's like Pukaletta - except less talented and worse dressed - in that he just won't GO AWAY. I honestly don't know who is voting for him, because I'm hard pressed to find anybody on the internet brave enough to post that they like him.

jSomeone's Got a Spell on Him..

2011-04-28T20:27:00.000-05:00

Jacob, that is. How did he survive that awful performance not to mention his clown suit? Yes, a lot of people don't get Jazz and Casey was a little too impressed with his own genius to actually sing as opposed to growl (jazz CAN be sung), but WHO is voting for Jacob? I've been hoping to see the last of him since the week Pia went home. Although given Pia's fame chasing since her elimination, I'm glad she is gone too.

Ryan played games with us and didn't give us a bottom three. My guess is Scotty got the highest number of votes, despite the faux tension Ryan tried to create. I'm glad they called Haley safe first because her very existence is driving the St. Pia fan's insane. Speaking of Haley, I don't think there is any doubt now that she and Casey are an item and I think that is sweet. I liked how he sang the last few notes to her at the end. I also liked the positive way her performed his song. No tears from him!

It was great to see Crystal again but I wish she had sung a better song. I suppose it was appropriate for the setting, though..encouraging the Idols to just sing. I wish Ryan had found the time to talk with her and let her plug her album and appearances.

Bruno Mars was ok but the song lyrics were a little risque for the 7 pm time slot...hand down his pants, birthday suit, and great sex. But who am I kidding? Kids today know way too much.

No word yet on next week's theme but we are going to get another overwrought but boring performance from Jacob.

I liked the Medley and thought Lauren and Haley sounded great together. Also, Scotty proved he can sing something not country, but his detractors won't admit it.

Tomorrow is the Royal Wedding so I'm off to bed.

Bobbing Bow Ties

2011-04-28T09:00:00.000-05:00

I'll be honest from the get-go: Before tonight started, I wasn't sure I'd know any of Carole King's songs. Turns out, I did know a few (thanks, Mom & Dad), but I'm not expert on how things should sound, how the song was meant to be performed, or the emotions intended, etc. All I'm going on is what I heard tonight.

Best to Worst:

James Durbin for the WIN! Blew the other contestants away. BLEW them AWAY! From the 1st strum on his guitar, I had goosebumps. And they never left until he was done. Randy is right: James will win this whole thing if he keeps this up. Yes, James, I WILL still love you tomorrow!

Haley - Honestly, I think hers would be the only record I'd BUY. She's just so my style - her voice is so interesting, and just so good! I've never heard Beautiful, but I loved the way that Haley did it. I'm glad JLo commented that she had one of the best voices in the competition because Haley deserved some good praise tonight!

Scotty - I had him in the #1 slot until James and Haley performed, because I really liked how he took a little bit of the country out of You've Got a Friend, and just made it smooth. I also think he toned down the sideways microphone and eyebrow waggle, which helped.

Casey - I tell you why I like him: I had a boyfriend once that would take me out to this seedy jazz bar where the bartender had a heavy hand, the room was filled with smoke, and you couldn't even see the other patrons because they were hunkered down in their dark booths listening to incredible jazz. I can't help it - I like the piano, the trumpets, the hat.

Lauren - She's 16. When I was 16, I'd wake up at 4:30am and spend hours primping so I looked perfect for school. I had self-confidence issues, and I didn't have the entire country blogging about the size of my ass. Was her performance stellar? No. Did the judges throw her a bone when her voice cracked to save her from breaking down? Absolutely. But I felt a pang of sadness when I saw her tear up, because she's SIXTEEN and I've been a 16 year old girl.

Jacob - I'm convinced that his stylist goes home and night and tells her husband "you're not going to believe what I convinced this kid to wear today" and then they laugh and laugh. (I'm not even commenting on his singing. I'm done. It's just getting ridiculous here.)

Bottom three should be: Jacob, Lauren, Casey

Bottom three will be: Jacob, Casey, Haley

I worry that Haley might be going home this week. Which would be wrong.

Tapestry or Travesty

2011-04-27T21:25:00.000-05:00

For women of a certain age (mine), Carole King is a goddess. She was a pioneer in the pop music industry with the added bonus that her songs told stories that all women knew. Tapestry was the largest selling album for years until Thriller took its place. So...I was looking forward to tonight with some trepidation. Would they choose the right song? Would they do the songs justice? I think they hit it at about 50% travesty and 50% tapestry.

Ryan starts with a montage of Carole King, telling us about her 118 songs on the Billboard 100 and all the artists who she wrote hits for and then says she is arguably the best female songwriter of her generation. Well, I don't think there is any arguably about it. There may be one or two songs written by a female that are arguably better than any she wrote (Joni Mitchell's Both Sides Now comes to mind), but no one can match Carole in terms of the number of hits...and I would take the female out of it and say she is arguably the best songwriter of her generation and counting, period. Rumor has it that when the Beatles first came to America, they wanted to meet her and Gerry Goffin because the Beatles considered them *royalty*...and she was just getting started then.

Sadly, if you aren't familiar with her songs, you probably are wondering what all the fuss is about because a good half of the songs sung tonight were those which surely were on the B side of the 45. In the olden days, you bought these things called records which revolved on your record player at various speeds...the most common of which were 33 rpm (an album) which had like 12 songs or 45 rpm (a *45*) which had an *A* side (which was the hit) and a *B* side which was the filler. (I also remember 78 rpms and wonder where mom's and dad's went). So, for example, the 45 of the Beatles first US hit *I Want to Hold Your Hand* had on the B side a song called *Roll Over Beethoven* or maybe it was *Kansas City*.

I will start with the Tapestry.

The only two who chose the perfect songs for them and nailed the performances were James and Scotty, with James just narrowly edging out Scotty for best of the night. First of all, those two read the AI forum boards and listen to their fans because the overall consensus was that Scotty should sing *You've Got a Friend* and that James should sing *Will You Love Me Tomorrow* (a counterintuitive but very popular choice of the Durbinators).

I did NOT want Scotty to sing You've Got a Friend but everyone else did. It has been sung by so many drunks in so many bars (including me in my wild youth) and for me, the magic was gone from that song. And I wanted to marry James Taylor. I could not see how Scotty could do anything with that song that had not been done before. With excellent mentoring, he did. And a big raspberry to Randy criticizin g him for not sustaining the high notes...and least his voice didn't crack and he hit them. He toned down his eyebrow moves and his sideways smile and actually, I thought he was singing to someone in particular. Yes, he still had some country flavor to it, but it wasn't dominant and I think his fellow Carolinian, James Taylor, would not have disapproved (nor would Carole King).

Well, you cannot mess up starting acapella unless you don't hit the notes and James hit his notes. Steven wasn't a fan of the faster part but I thought that James hit the right combination. He gave it a bit of the late 50's early 60's rock feel staying true to the melody before he went into his James high notes. I am going back and forth on whether I liked him or Scotty better tonight.

I have been waiting all season for a *moment* and for me, Scotty and James gave me two *moments* in a row.

My third favorite performance was Haley's. I am faulting her on song choice and not execution. Her voice was made to sing Carole King and she chose a song that is not all that well known even if it was on the Tapestry album. I'm not sure she *got* the *get* as much as she should have but for once she *got* some mentoring. Evidently the new guy didn't know that Haley is the pariah and actually thought she has some talent and wanted to help her so Iovine had to go along with it. St. Pia's fans will never vote for her, but I think there might be some others who are starting to see her talent. Randy the Haley hater had to be critical. I'm beginning to think she spurned his advances or something as much as he has it in for her. DAWG...get over it...Pia is GONE!

I am probably alone in just being sick of Casey. I know he loves Haley, I know he has some sort of bowel disease, I really like jazz and I know he is considered a genius but for heaven's sake...just SING ! Stupid song choice....*Hi De Ho*....I don't even know what the real song title is. Stupid facial expressions. Constant growling. Great comradarie with the musicians on stage who I'm sure were impressed with the 5 notes he played on the piano. Maybe Carole's *Jazzman* was too obvious but he could have done about 105 of her other songs.

Did you notice that Lauren was wearing a tiara in her joint interview with Scotty? You all scoffed at me when I said she was better suited for the Toddlers and Tiara circuit than American Idol. Evidently, she has not recovered after the mild criticism she got in week 3 and has to be propped up, like a toddler. Last week, Iovine brings in Miley Cyrus's managers to give her a boost. That didn't work so well. So, this week he brings in Miley herself! Lauren's song choice was not bad but not inspired. She did start shaking her little booty around some and tried to hit some high notes (evidently she feels bad because she cannot hit high notes and this has sapped her confidence). What the heck was that thing with the audience guy? At first I thought it might be her cousin or brother but apparently she just randomly brought some guy up on the stage to play cutesie with. The fact that she missed a big high note was deemed good by the judges. (I'm sure Scotty is thinking WTF?) Talk about low expectations. Lets just give her the Little Miss Congeniality crown and let her go home.

Jacob chooses a song that no one knows...I'm pretty sure Carole forgot she wrote that song as she has written 5000 or so of them. Utter disaster. If I had paid for a cruise and he was the lounge act, I would have moved on to the casino.

I like the duet concept but they need to shake it up some and sing with different partners. I think they all got hit with this at pretty much the last minute. Strangely, the one I liked most was James and Jacob but maybe it was because I like James and could ignore Jacob. I will give the other two credit for choosing very good songs but I liked *Moanin'* better for Casey and Haley and *I Told You So* better for Lauren and Scotty.

Bottom 3 should be: Jacob(going home), Lauren, and Casey

Bottom 3 will be: Jacob(going home), Haley, and Casey.

Boy You're An Alien

2011-04-22T12:36:00.000-05:00

C'ya Stefano. It was time. And I hope when he said "this is the start of my career", it's not just a career as a male stripper.

I know NONE of the words to the ET song, but I've been singing it since last night. At 3:00 am, feeding my 10-week old son, I caught myself humming about aliens and abductions. It's creeping me out that it's just. that. catchy.

The aliens dancing were weird. Katy Perry (who I generally think is gorgeous) looked weird. And Kanye (who I generally think is absolutely nutzo) looked normal. I'm convinced that after the Taylor Swift fiasco, Kanye is forcing restraint on himself, and last night he actually let Katy Perry take over the "I'm nutzo" spotlight. I liked the performance ... I hope my baby son does, too, over and over and over.

And they just don't make AI contestants like David Cook anymore do they? He's just in a league of his own.

Yeah, I have an album out, but let's talk about this charity for a cure for brain cancer and my Mom's dream to meet Stephen Tyler. David Cook, I love you.

Looking forward to next week, although I'm afraid Auntee will need to take the lead as I'm expecting to know very few of the songs.

Bada Bing Bada Boo Bada Bye Bye

2011-04-21T20:45:00.000-05:00

After 7 long weeks and all but one (if my memory serves me correctly) spent in jeopardy, Stefano Langone sings Goodbye. I cannot say I will miss his performances, particularly if he was heading in the *I'm so studly* direction he took this week. He seems to have been well-liked by all the contestants, particularly James, (and Casey had his head in his hands) and he went out with class so good luck to him. Whether we will ever hear his name again is something I doubt, but you never know. I did think the highlight of tonight's show was the bear hug James gave Stefano as he sung his last note. Of course, a few people who commented on the AI forum decided James was just trying to horn in on Stefano's last moment and steal his thunder. I didn't see it that way at all.

I was thrilled to see Jacob in the bottom three and I hope it was the bottom 2 and that next week he sings his last diva glory note. When the two were standing there, I had a moment of indecision. Did I want to see Jacob's arrogant self go home or live with the Stefano drama one more week. Jacob just cannot help himself...he is the world to him. When Brian asked him how he felt about possibly going home he said: *I'm just so grateful I could share my gift with America*. Well Jacob, I didn't ask for your gift and I suppose it is rude to return it to you, but could I please put it in the back of my junk closet for the next 20 years and leave it for KK to sell at my estate sale?

The group performances by contestants were nothing special tonight . I guess they cannot have a *moment* each week but I wish they had been better.

It was nice to see KK's boyfriend, David Cook but I was not jumping up and down for his new song. He is such a class act, though. And he loves his mother and made sure she got to meet Steven Tyler...on camera no less. So that was a nice moment.

I know why Katy Perry is big...she is a beautiful young woman and seems to have a great sense of humor and I think does a lot of public service. But that SONG and that production...you couldn't even see her behind the costume and WHAT is with every new song, no matter what it is about, with some sort of rap/hip hop beginning, middle and end. The melodies to these new songs are all starting to sound alike too. They all have a chorus which takes a note up an octave. I miss performers just standing there and singing.

Next week, Carole King, which should favor Haley and Lauren. A lot of music to choose from. I hope Scotty picks something decent. At one point, I knew the entire Tapestry album by heart but now I will have to go on the net to remind me of all the songs she wrote by herself and with her first husband Gerry Goffin (I always confuse him with David Geffin) and later collaborators. Just did a quick Wiki search and she has had 118 songs on the Billboard charts so surely these kids can find something to suit them. Please, however, no Natural Woman (didn't someone already do that this year?). Also, there are reports that Crystal Bowersox will sing at the results show next week, which will thrill me and it is appropriate to the theme. I

I'm still a Rockstar (on the train to crazy-ville)

2011-04-21T08:38:00.000-05:00

Best to Worst:

Ashton, Karen, Naima, Thia, Pia & Paul - Hysterical! The girls are so focused on strutting around in trampy leather outfits that they forget to sing the 1st verse on key. And then the doors open up and Paul comes stumbling out in his token stupid-flower-suit like a drunken monkey.

Pia's belting out her Mariah/Whitney/Celine notes,
Thia's giving the pagent faux-smile,
Naima is "yeah, yeahing" it up,
Ashton's wagging her diva head around, and
Karen's faux-flashing her Latina boobs by opening up her leather vest over and over.
All the while Paul is trying not to flail off the stage.

None of them care that they're not singing *with* each other, or that they're not singing on-key. "So What" was the funniest thing I've seen on Idol in a long time. I spent the entire performance cracking up.

What? They weren't trying to be funny? Oh, then it's just sad.

As for the contestants who really might be rockstars someday, Best to Worst:

James Durbin - What?!? KK likes James Durbin?!? Hell yeah I did. I'd even download that performance, which is saying something since I really am not a "rocker". Drummers were a bit weird, as was the dominatrix wand thing. But the vocals were incredible. Incredible!

Casey - I sort of wished he would've changed up the song a little more ala-David Cook, because he absolutely could have. But I'm a Maroon 5 fan, and I'm a Casey fan. And although I was a little creeped out when he was leaning into JLo, the kiss made me squeal with delight.

Haley - I think she looked absolutely gorgeous, for starters. And she did Adele justice with Rolling In The Deep, for sure. It *is* her niche, and she's found it, and she's good at it. I was annoyed that Randy had to struggle so hard to compliment her, but I'm glad she finally got the praise she deserved.

Scotty - Barely. After the clip of the contestants making fun of the microphone holding, it's ALL I could focus on. Frankly, it annoyed the hell out of me. As did the eyebrow waggle and side-mouth-singing. Swinging was boring. Dare I say "karoke". 'Course, he's not going anywhere.

Lauren Alana - Has really wised up with her song choices and her personality make over. Last week she pandered to St. Pia's and tweens with the Miley ballad, this week she tried to swing the massive country audience back her way. Even though it wasn't the best performance of hers, she's *competing* brilliantly.

Stefano - You're kidding, right? First the clip about him being a flirt and a ladies man had me in hysterics. And watching him strut around the stage like he was in some seedy club strip club trying to get the ladies to shove $1 into his too-tight pants, just put me over the top. I like Closer, it's a sexy song. Stefano was the opposite of sexy tonight bordering on crazy-town.

Jacob - Realized he might be slipping and pulled out the Dead-Father card. Well played. I loved that he screwed up, I loved that he got a bit of negative criticism. Those were the only non-boring parts of the performance.

Botton 3 will be: Haley, Casey, Stefano

Who *should* go home: Jacob (but he won't, because his dad is dead.)

Also, my boyfriend David Cook is coming back tonight and I could not BE more excited. He's the 1st Idol I truly loved. Swoon.

Opinion Deficit Disorder

2011-04-20T21:07:00.000-05:00

I'm eager to see what KK has to say about tonight's show because I have no strong opinions about any of the performances tonight (the performers are another matter...I'm down but not out). Maybe it is because the songs were from the 21st century and I quit listening to popular music in 1982. I don't know these songs and I had a hard time deciding if the performances were good or bad...but I did see some ugly.

First they bring out the retreads to sing a song about not being losers when everyone knows they all are. America voted NOT to see these people again, even the precious St. PiA. I am thoroughly sick of her and her fans. Please make her go AWAY! Not likely, as it seems she has hired a publicist to make sure she gets more press than Kate Middleton. Her latest press release is that she plans to develop a clothing and fragrance line bearing her name. Because you know, she finished NINTH on a show which has produced barely three household names in the past 10 years. Don't you know that Posh Spice, Victoria Beckham is quaking in her Jimmy Choos at the prospect of competition from PiA. I'm thinking she may be one of those people who is really sweet to the people she wants to impress and really mean to those she considers beneath herself...in other words, a Queen B... and that Haley knew what she was doing when she *smirked* at her demise. And of course, they highlighted her 3 second *duet* with Paul in the number which sounded like nails on a chalkboard. I will let you all decide who had the nails and who had the chalkboard but a duo make in heaven it was NOT.

Oh..sorry...are there other people on American Idol this year besides St. PiA? Well yes, as a matter of fact, a few mortals remain to gain America's votes.

My poor sweet Scotty. The knives are out for him. The word is out that he is getting two votes to his nearest competitor's one and leaving the rest in the dust. They give him the death spot for the 2nd time and the judges and Jimmy tell the audience to quit thinking about him because it should be tired of him. To his credit, he did try to change it up, picked a song done by a woman and toned down the country, but it was a lightweight song. Which the J's inform me was first done in 1980 by someone named John Anderson and remade by Leeann Rimes in the 2000s. Bad decision on his part. He needed a tearjerker tonight to overcome the death spot and the judge's and Jimmy's instructions to write him off. iTo show I am in a equally dissatisfied mood with all the contestants, I will say Scotty can tone down the eyebrow raising about 1/3.

My other sweetheart, James probably had the best performance of the night. The drums were a bit over the top but I'm pretty sure Adam Lambert wishes he had thought of that. But tonight was not my favorite performance of his and for the first time I didn't smile when he sang.

Haley sings Adele and well I thought. Randy has to practically pull it out of himself to compliment her. That said, I think if Haley had ever had a real broken heart, she would have done a better job. I didn't get a lot of anger or pain from her. I have no idea what the original sounds like, so maybe she did an excellent job. It did seem like a hard song to sing.

Well, I wanted emotion and out comes Jacob Lusk singing Luther. Luther is dead. And it is his birthday today (Jacob didn't know that of course when he picked the song). Luther's dad is dead. So is Jacob's dad. To Jacob's surprise, the judges did not give him a standing ovation. Even though his father is dead. Jacob had a hic at the beginning of the song and blames a technical failure because he is too professional to be emotional and start to cry (or have to wipe his eyes 2 bars later). JLo, bless her heart, shows no mercy and tells him in a much nicer way than I am going to put it...no...your skank just stank all the way through. Jacob is not discouraged and reminds the voters one more time that his dad is dead. I'm losing it at this point. Sadly, a look at Dialidol.com indicates that Jacob is coming in right after Scotty as the night's favorite. Are people really that gullible?

So out comes this weeks flavor, Casey. He plays his guitar and makes some faces and I suppose does an OK performance which he ends by getting in JLo's personal space and kissing her on the cheek. Oh that Casey! He is just a surprise a minute. Genius! No idea what Steven said as it is all bleeped but I suspect it had to do with women wanting to bed down Casey and men being jealous about it. Now, I am married to a portly red-headed man who used to have a red beard ( I wish he still did) and I suppose Casey should have some appeal to me. But I just keep thinking about his colon problems.

Oh Stefano...such a ladies man. I thought this performance was just weird and the chorus kept singing *I can't stop* and I was thinking *PLEASE STOP*. His bowlegged stud dance was just too much for me to handle and if I watch it back I will probably laugh but I was just too grossed out to laugh.

Lauren has a confidence problem and they are trying to fix it by giving her the pimp spot. I am actually liking her personally better than I did at first but tonight her performance was just awful. The judges couldn't bring themselves to say so but by telling her to do more they were saying it wasn't that great. Don't put 15/16 year olds on Idol.

Maybe I should have taken a nap today as I am particularly cranky toight.

Bottom 3 on the basis of performances should be: Lauren (safe), Jacob (safe), Stefemo (voted off). Bottom 3 will probably be Haley(safe), Casey or James (safe), Stefemo (voted off).

And as for Lauren, now that St. PiA is on my radar as the Queen B of the world, I am going to cut her some slack.

If anyone read this before I went back and edited for vulgarity, I apologize. I think Steven rubbed off on me.

Alternate career ...

2011-04-15T08:52:00.000-05:00

... in toothpaste commercials.

Well done, America. All is right and just again.

Loved Scotty and Lauren again this week. Loved Haley and Casey even more. Didn't love the boys, but didn't expect to.

Auntee is hysterical, by the way. "How ya'll doin' tonight?" Bwahahaha! Awesome.

How Y'all Doin' Tonight?

2011-04-14T20:30:00.000-05:00

Just fine, Paul.... Sort of a bad night for you though. So, one of the weakest links is gone and the curse of the women contestants has been broken, despite the judges obvious attempt to send Haley packing last night. Paul went out like a class act, which is to his credit. The only complaint I have about tonight's show is that Jacob wasn't on the stool again.

I like when they let the contestants perform without fear of judging. Once again, Scotty and Lauren did a great job with their country duet. I thought Haley and Casey were AWESOME! Of course they are a real life couple and have some chemistry together. I loved the little scatting competition they had in the middle of the song....very entertaining. It would have been a shame if Haley went home after that as she was the star of the duo.

Nice to see Kelly Clarkson again. I guess she is going country now. I'm wondering if country is about to have another resurgence in general popularity.

I enjoyed Rihanna. I'm glad she got some hair extensions.

Not really a surprising show...I think hardcore Idol fans can use a break after last weeks drama over St. PiA. I got some distinct satisfaction seeing Haley and Stefano and Casey safe, as they were the primary targets of the St. PiA's fan's vengeance. I bet St. Pia's cousin is chewing nails right now!

I don't get it ...

2011-04-14T08:32:00.000-05:00

Sort of a confusing night for me. There was a lot of discussion about America "getting" it, and I'll lump myself in with "America" because I didn't get it.

Best to Worst:

Lauren Alaina - I sort of might start pulling for her to win this thing (Auntee just died.) She sang the climb much better than Miley (which, I agree, isn't saying much), and she's getting SMART. She's pandering to the teens, she sung a ballad to pander to St. Pia's fans, she's even toned down the crazy judge-dancing, Ryan-flirting act and adopted (at least for now) a more mellow, grown-up personality. And she looked really pretty.

Haley - I like Blondie, I like Haley. I honestly don't understand how all three judges gave negative critiques of this. I thought she looked gorgeous (although I was a little worried the camera might show an up-the-dress shot on accident), and she sang/screamed "Call Me" just as well as she sang/screamed "Bennie" and "Come On".

Scotty - He didn't do anything new with the super well-known George Straight song, and it was totally predictable (I typed "predictable", but meant "boring"). I totally didn't get all of this "getting back to his roots" talk because he's sung country every. single. week. Hell, he found a country song during Elton John week! But, again, I was confused last night.

Casey, I guess - I totally didn't get this. I love jazz. I regularly frequented jazz bars when I lived in a city that had them. I love that Casey is an artist, and I really do think he's amazingly talented, but I didn't get Nature Boy and kept thinking of In The Air Tonight like Jimmy suggested. That said, I love his make-over. His hair and beard are shaping up nicely.

Stefano - I have to comment on his clothes because they're getting ridiculous. 1st it was the suit with the tennis shoes, now it's the too-small polo, too-small jeans, and tennis shoes. He could've done Boys 2 Men a real solid and wore a tie and sweater like they do. The. choppiest. version. of. End. Of. The. Road. ever. done. He might not have taken a breath between every word, but. it. seemed. like. it.

James Durbin - I don't get it. Admittedly, I don't like Heavy Metal. I can appreciate a good guitar solo, and am quite good at Guitar Hero, but that's as far as I go. I do like James, though, as a person. And I'd like to see him beat out most of the other contestants for that reason alone.

Paul - Last week I wanted Iggy Pop to flail into a wall or fall off the stage, this week I wanted Paul to flail into a wall or off the stage. The suit thing is getting trite, too. Honestly, I don't even think he's good looking anymore (except he does have the whitest smile ever made.) I've seen Old Time Rock and Roll done better by the drunk at the karaoke bar.

Jacob - The choir was good. And Jimmy reminded America that Jacob was a douche last week. So, that was fun.

Bottom 3 should be: Paul, Jacob, Stefano

Bottom 3 will be: Paul, Haley, Jacob

Random tangent: I believe that the judges are responsible for Pia's departure. And not because they "wasted" the save on Casey. But because they don't ever give negative critiques. Everybody gets the same glowing commentary every week. And without any subliminal guidance, America votes blindly.

What would Simon have said about Paul's flailing? We need a Simon to remind us that they are NOT, in fact, all good all of the time.

I've Gotta Be ME...

2011-04-13T22:09:00.000-05:00

unless I'm Rod Stewart, or Miley Cyrus, or Debbie Harry, or Paul Simon's worst nightmare. The contestants were surprisingly rebellious this week against Jimmy Iovine and his cohort (is it Will I. AM?) in choosing what they were going to sing from the movies. Perhaps they were just a little miffed when they learned that 9th place PiA (hereinafter referred to as St. PiA) had already been offered a record deal by Iovine and was rushing to record her songs (at least a single) to be released before the season ends, thereby stealing the thunder of the contestants America actually voted for. In prior years, the winner's single and album is usually released first.

But, as I have been learning from reading the official AI forums this week, St. PiA is an exception to every rule. She is going to win a grammy next year (at least one), Streisand is livid to be upstaged by the greatest voice since...well recording history. Mariah is in full on post-partum or pre-partum depression. Whitney's NA sponsor hasn't left her side, and after St. PiA's version of River Deep Mountain High, Tina Turner won't leave the house, she is so ashamed. Obama was even considering a statue that will mandate that instead of pledging allegiance to the flag (in those few schools who still do so) school children will be pledging allegiance to PiA. He has reconsidered and instead has asked St. PiA to record a song about HIM....something along the lines of *To Obama with love, St. PiA*. St. PiA responded that a better song might be *My Obama Will Go On* since she didn't get an opportunity to sing *My Heart Will Go On* tonight and really shove Celine's face in the dirt.

So maybe some of the contestants thought...hey...I WILL do it my way since the prize for the winner has already been awarded to St. PiA, so might as well take charge of my destiny here. Some of them did not, and in my opinion, their performances suffered for it.

So to assess the situation post- St. PiA here we go.

Paul comes out in yet another flowered suit (does he know it makes him look like a complete dork?) and jumps around while growling a Bob Seeger song (one of my favorites) with Rod Stewart's phrasing. I thought the sax player was the only redeeming part of this fiasco but the judges ate it up. I don't get the Paul love.

I do get the Lauren love, even if I don't approve of it, and she was smart to Kristy Lee Cook it tonight by singing a song the teens will love and then relating it to her own personal *climb* of 4 months. She was pandering for St. PiA's votes via her pimp Iovine (even if she won't admit it) and it will probably work. I didn't get Jennifer's comment about the *tear* in Lauren's voice. I will grant that she sang the song better than Miley Cyrus but that is not saying a heck of a lot as far as I'm concerned.

Stefemo has had a bad week. First of all, he is viewed by many as the agent of St. PiA's martyrdom at the hands of the rabble who threw her to the lions (or at least to a nice little recording deal with Iovine). Reports are he was getting hate mail of the worst kind. The demand that he quit the contest so St. PiA can come back was one of the kindest things thrown at him by St. PiA's outraged acolytes. I've got to say, I was proud of him tonight. I don't like his melismatic Pukealetta style but he did do the best performance I have ever seen him do and I have to admit he moved me an inch or two.

Oh...Scotty! What a kick! He calls Iovine *dude*. I'd like to think that is his way of subtley saying: *Look...you gave the prize away already so don't expect me to kiss your ass anymore and if you don't sign me someone else will.* I love *Everybody's Talking At Me* but you know, I think Scotty was right to stick to George Strait. Midnight Cowboy was a great movie, the song is a great song, and Glen Campbell is wonderful, but I'm not sure that Scotty's audience even KNOWS that song and certainly doesn't know that the movie was about a male prostitute and a consumptive homeless man (and they wouldn't care if they did). Maybe someone gave Scotty the heads up on the movie and he realized the backround of that song was just too morose and dark for his personality. Good job for Scotty but not a showstopper.

Casey basically pokes a finger in Iovine's eye and says *I'm doing Nature Boy, so shut up*. I love Nat King Cole. I think I would have loved the performance if I didn't have to watch the stupid faces Casey made while singing it. So at the end I was left completely conflicted. The judges loved it but they probably didn't see the close ups of Caseys face that the TV audience did. I suspect if I heard it without having to look at Casey, I would be impressed.

Well no love for Haley tonite from ANYBODY, including Iovine who phoned in his mentoring session and didn't tell her the song wasn't a good choice. She said she had a hard time choosing a song, which meant she didn't love the song she chose and it showed in her performance. She is getting the brunt of the St. PiA backlash, because when St. PiA's elimination was announced, Haley was looking around the audience and sort of half smiling instead of prostating herself in sorrow. So Randy hates her again and JLo and Steven agree with him. Haley is now cast as Camilla Parker-Bowles to St. PiA's Princess Diana. She is the *other woman* who stole the prize away from the beloved one (or at least was left standing for awhile longer). In addition, she and Casey are a couple (I thought what she was doing in the elimination was trying to get Casey's attention), which further ticks off St. PiA's worshippers because the save was *wasted* on Casey. According to one very verbose an illiterate poster on the forum, St. PiA's cousin hates Haley. Just thought I would share that with you.

Jacob, at this point, does not know whether to poop or go blind which pretty much describes the faces he makes when he sings). Iovine lectured him for his preaching at the audience (good the more people who are reminded of that the better). Chastened, he accepts Bridge Over Troubled Water like a whipped dog, even though it is only slightly less corny than *To Dream the Impossible Dream* or *I'll Never Walk Alone*. And I thought he butchered the song and my ears hurt on those last three notes that the judges found so amazing.

Oh...I just heart James. Do you know that he sends drawings in his replies to fan letters? Several of his fans have posted pictures of the letters and drawings he has sent back to them. He also defied Iovine and good for him. Metal is NOT my thing at all. I'm to the point where he can do whatever he wants and I'll enjoy it. He just seems like a happy guy!

So...who will be in bottom three? I think Paul and Jacob should be. I think Haley has a good chance of being on the stools and perhaps Casey because people didn't get what he was up to. Paul seems to have a lot of fans though. I hope Stefemo is not in the bottom three after he gave so much of himself tonight. I don't want him to win the thing, but he deserves to get an early safe call for what he endured in the past week AND for a great performance, even if it was Stefemo style.

Am interested to see KK's thoughts on the night. I do agree that at least we are getting a broad range of styles from the contestants and that the show is much more entertaining as a result. Also, I think that they had a bigger song selection (or were more pushy about getting new songs cleared) than in the past for this theme week. I really think I might have lost it if Paul did *Footloose*.

More Sober Reflection on Shocking Results

2011-04-08T09:04:00.001-05:00

I'm so glad that KK mentioned the terrible entertainment last night. In the shock of seeing Jacob stay and Pia go, I forgot all about how horrible Constantine and Iggy Pop were. Iggy might not have a pot belly but 60 year old skin SAGS and should be covered up. I don't even know if I liked what he sang because all I could think of was how ridiculous a 60 year old man with saggy skin looked going shirtless. And I'm glad she pointed out how poor Stefemo was made to look the villian because he got more votes. This is the second time he was on the chopping block and the judges acted like he should have gone instead of the one who was voted off. I'm starting to root for him a bit.

Couple of Auntee theories as to why PiA got sent home. First, the judges have not been very critical of any of the contestants and so haven't *steered* the audience toward their favorite as Simon always did. I'm not sure this is a bad thing. Simon was not always right in my opinion. Second, I know everyone says its a singing competition but it is also an entertainment competition and Pia was just too type A to relax and have fun. The judges kept telling her to let go but she just could not. Steven commented after the results, that America needs to see passion but then realized he was being critical and backed away from it. Steven has stated he just cannot be too hard on these contestants because he has three daughters and does not want to crush their dreams. Maybe, however, had the judges been a LITTLE harder on Pia in the beginning (although Randy and Jennifer tried to tell her to get some passion) she would have let go and America would have loved her more.

I never thought she would win the whole thing but I do feel bad that she left before others I consider vastly inferior...like Lauren, Paul, Jacob, and Stefemo.

Oh well...life goes on.

Poor Stefano

2011-04-08T08:19:00.000-05:00

I don't know which is worse - the fact that Pia got voted off before Paul, Jacob, Stefano or Lauren. Or, the fact that the judges made it VERY clear that they wished Stefano was going home.

I felt a little sorry for Stefano. They were clearly saying "you suck compared to her, you should be the one leaving"

But I also feel VERY sorry for Pia. It was wrong. And I'm betting the judges wish they would've saved the save for her.

All in all it was a really BAD night:

Constantine Something-or-rather butchered Unchained Melody.

Iggy Pop's scary, shirtless body flailed around the stage for what seemed like forever. I kept waiting for him to fall, or slam into a wall.

Jacob's stylist doesn't understand that overweigh people must NOT wear jeans that are too tight for them because of the muffin-top effect.

And my husband's girlfriend FINALLY wore a top where her boobs looked insane, and she gets voted off.

BOOOOO!

2011-04-07T20:09:00.000-05:00

Mama Mia...we lost PiA! And kept that fat arrogant pile of drama queen Jacob. I very seldom yell at the TV. However, tonight, I suspect that drivers on Huntington could hear the boos coming from my front room as they sent Jacob to the couch. But the worst was yet to come.

How in the hell did it happen that Pia got less votes than weasel Paul, fat Jacob, and Stefemo...not to mention Lauren Alaina!

Well, I didn't vote for her. Maybe her lack of passion did her in. Or maybe something went haywire with the phone lines (I am convinced there is a plot to keep verizon calls from going through very often as the times I have tried to vote this year, I get busy signals all the time. That has never happened at this stage of the competition, even when I was voting for favorites like David Cook and Crystal.)

And..to top it all off...since I am banned from the boards because some asshat Jacob fan called me an idiot and I suggested the fan look in their own darn mirror (which I thought was a pretty restrained comeback)...I cannot even comment.

Well, the sun will come up tomorrow I suspect.

Chris Medina's love story is NOT going to waste

2011-04-07T14:36:00.000-05:00

Even though AI can't milk the story of Chris Medina's disabled wife, he can do it himself.

www.tmz.com/2011/04/07/american-idol-rejects-contestants-rogue-concert-tour-chris-medina-tim-halperin-rob-bolin-juliana-recovery-fund-charity/

Tim Halperin's version of When A Man Loves A Woman puts Stefano's to shame:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbOQveFq7S8

I hope the tour does well, and that they raise lots of money for Juliana's care.

Creepy Wax Steven Tyler

2011-04-07T08:24:00.000-05:00

I've been told I sound grumpy when I post (could it be the 4 hours of sleep at night?), but today is going to be a good day. Why? Because for the 1st time in YEARS of watching AI, I can honestly say that I really do enjoy ALL of the contestants. Last night was just a great show all around, and it's been fun to watch.

That said, somebody has to go. Worst to Best:

Jacob - I'm glad he changed songs because can you IMAGINE what those weird hip-thrusts would've looked like had he been singing Let's Get It On?!? Kris Allen killed Man In The Mirror, and I'll always compare it. It's a low-key song, and Jacob is ANYTHING BUT low key. If for no other reason, he needs to go home for his "if I'm in the bottom three, it's because America is afraid to look in the mirror" comment. WTF?

Paul - I still think he's hot, and quirky. And he might just be a little crazy, just like Johnny Cash was. But he's no Johnny Cash (who is probably rolling over in his grave right now.) For shame.

Stefano - I like his voice and he seems like a genuinely nice guy, but I can NOT get past the Pukaletta curse - Open Your Eyes, Kid!!! The judges said they felt emotion in his performance, but I felt the exact opposite. I actually wondered if he's ever loved a woman, because he was having trouble conveying it if he has.

Lauren - I get that the Jersey Shore poof is "in", but COME ON. Not cute. Natural Woman had some really good notes, but they couldn't make me forget about the 1st 1/2 of the song, which was just ... not good.

Scotty - I still love me some Scotty. But it felt karaoke to me. It felt like a little kid imitating his favorite singer.

Casey - I don't know why everybody is so down on the Growl, because I like it. I think he should Growl an entire song, it'd be awesome. I think the main reason why Casey is fantastic is because, like the judges said, he's a MUSICIAN. And even when he doesn't win AI (because he won't), I hope he goes on to have a career doing what he loves.

Pia - So, you sang up tempo ... give the girl a medal. Was it the earth shattering performance that the judges made it out to be? No. (I was really hoping to see a little more of the Tiny-Turner-Crazy in there - PIA is too straight to pull off that song.) Is she still REALLY. FRICKIN'. GOOD? Absolutely.

James Durbin - If you've been following me, you know I think he's overrated. But tonight's performance was nothing less than AMAZING. It's become a bit of a cliche, but I really did get goose bumps. I didn't even mind the ONE, controlled, scream at the end.

Haley - I've said it before, but my parents were hippies. So, I grew up listening to Janis Joplin and Piece of My Heart is the quintessential Joplin song, in my mind. Haley killed it, which is hard to do. I loved it.

Please, Please can Jacob go home?

One Trick Ponies Stand on Their Heads and Other Highlights

2011-04-06T22:19:00.000-05:00

As far as I am concerned, they can do the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame theme every week except for the week they do the Rat Pack or 40's -50's theme. I didn't need closed caption tonight because I knew all the songs. All of the contestants chose good songs. That is not to say that all of the contestants sang those good songs well. A few of the *one trick ponies* pulled out new tricks tonight. In the spirit of shaking things up, I am going to comment on the performances from worst to best.

Last place finish in the pony race goes to Jacob. He was going to do *Lets Get It On* but realized his morals prevented him from doing a song about getting it on. So, he chose one of Michael Jackson's save the world songs, The Man in The Mirror. He reminded us, before he sang, that if we didn't like his performance or if he was in the bottom three (I guess it didn't occur to him he might go home), it was not his fault. No...it is OUR fault because we don't want to look in the mirror. There are reasons I do not want to look in the mirror, Jacob, but they have nothing to do with you or your singing and even less to do with starving children. And, you are hardly the poster child for starvation so I don't want to look at you much either. It was a boring performance highlighted somewhat strangely by Jacob simulating *getting it on* with his backround singer. Those hip thrusts were just ....odd. Sadly, the backround singer who was forced to simulate getting it on with Jacob was, in fact, the songwriter, if I understood Steven correctly. Sad indeed.

Eighth place goes to Paul. I have about had it with him. I suppose he thought that doing Johnny Cash was, for him, like a pony doing handstands, but it was just ridiculous. I started laughing half way through. I'm sorry, but singing really fast and really loud does not help when you are singing a song that requires a certain amount of depth to the voice which Paul's voice does not have. He looked like a monkey on crack. The guitar work (which he had lots of help with) was the only thing that made it remotely entertaining, and I mean remotely.

Casey comes in at number 7 singing Have You Ever Seen the Rain, which is a favorite of mine. He has a bass fiddle that he plays. This makes him a great musician. I thought his voice was thin and that he looked more scared than anything as he sang. Randy's reaction was over the top on this one. Maybe Casey deserved to be saved but, in my mind, this was a so/so performance of a really good song and it left me cold. The only trick here was that he only growled for half of the song.

Coming in at number six is our unnatural not woman Lauren. Christina Aguilera did her no favors on the styling, as her hair made her face look fatter and her dress made her butt look fatter. But I like fat girls (and she is not really fat at all), I just don't like her. It was OK, but not up to Crystal Bowersox and definitely not even 20% of Aretha or Carole King. No new tricks from Lauren but she has a huge fan base who have already enshrined her Candle in the Wind performance in their own little hall of fame (she is the new Princess Diana in her fans minds) so she will survive.

Stefemo didn't really do a new trick and perhaps I am giving him the number 5 slot, instead of a lower one, because he sang one of my all time favorite songs ever made. He does have a good voice but I wish he would stop closing his eyes and reminding me of Pukaletta. (For new readers...Pukaletta is David Archuletta).

PiA takes 4th place. Lots of hype for her tonight, because she is going to try to stand on her head and sing an up tempo song instead of a ballad. She sang it well, but I'm sorry...singing an up tempo song is not equivalent to curing cancer...no matter what the judges think.

Scotty does do a new trick and comes in 3rd. Singing Elvis was a little predictable as we have been told he loved to impersonate Elvis as a kid. I thought he might do one of Elvis's more country or slower songs. I missed some of his performance as Mr. Auntee chose that moment to interupt me and tell me about one of our cats litter box defilement. But, Scotty did rock it more than countrify it and so he gets some credit for standing on his head tonight. And he does know how to work the stage and the audience.

In a photo finish, James Durbin comes in 2nd. He may just be winning my heart. Its Rock and Roll week and James stands on his head and slows it down to, of all people, George Harrison! I think that song means something more to him than he revealed tonight but I don't really need to know what it is. I hope he stays around for a long time and if he wins this thing...I will not be unhappy.

Haley crosses the finish line first. As much as I love Me and Bobby McGee, Piece of My Heart is, to me the quintessential Joplin song. She sang it flawlessly and added a few Haley twists. My only criticism is that she is not Janis Joplin. She could have shown a little more pain but then, she is not Janis Joplin. Perhaps if Haley was strung out on heroin and had been laid and dumped by 100 or more guys, she could have brought the pain to the song that Janis did. I'm thinking I prefer less pain for her. Although she did not stand on her head tonight, she is the only contestant who has done a variety of songs from the beginning and didn't have to show me a new trick.

I have no idea how the voting will go. I tried to vote for James, Haley, and Scotty tonight and only got through a few times. In Auntee's world, the bottom three would be Paul, Jacob, and Casey with Paul going home.

Tiny Dancer Leaps and Rocket Man Fizzles

2011-03-31T20:07:00.000-05:00

*You Won't Believe Who is Going Home* said the opening credits. Nice try producers, but it didn't take a rocket scientist or a rocket man to predict that Naima and Thia had about a 99.5% chance of going home. I was a little surprised that Stefemo out did Paul, but not particularly unhappy about it. I liked Stefemo better than Paul last night even if it is sort of like saying I like Velveeta better than the nutty cheese balls.

The highlight of tonight's entertainment was Scotty and Lauren. Yes, I know. I still don't like Lauren. But Scotty made her sound better. I liked the concept of grouping them up but other than the Scotty/Lauren duo, the rest of the groups were better in concept than in execution...even Band on the Run.

I didn't watch the show Fantasia's season. I take it she has had a tough time since her Idol win what with her moocher family draining all her money and men troubles etc. Good for her she won a Grammy and is on some sort of comeback. That said, as one fat lady to another, I think I would advise her to avoid songs centering on food. And to get a better hairstyle. But she did give the contestants good advice.

Too bad about the Idol mansion leaking and believe it or not I DID feel bad when Lauren fell down the stairs. I don't want bad things to happen to her...except for getting sent home.

No solid word on what the theme next week will be...maybe classic rock songs or songs from the 100 best songs of all time or something.

Now, if you all want to see some real musical talent, I encourage you to check out a group called the Kelley Family on Youtube. com. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwzBuN7jfjw. They are sort of like the Phelps family but they sing.

Equally Mediocre

2011-03-31T13:02:00.000-05:00

This is an interesting season for me because (1) I don't have an absolute favorite, and (2) I don't have an absolute nemesis. Each contestant has their good/bad moments, which is boring.

Best to Worst

Haley - Benny! Benny! Benny! Haley's voice has always been unique (which doesn't get much play from the judges), but last night she demonstrated just how interesting she can be. And she got off of that piano in a tight dress without flashing anything, which puts her in my top spot on its own! Absolutely fabulous!

Casey - Just when you thought he had his Hicks impressions in the bag, he goes and totally redeems himself. It doesn't hurt that Your Song is one of my all-time favorite Elton John songs. But Casey made it beautiful by singing it straight, limiting the growling and the weird dancing, and how could I not comment on his new appearance - he's actually pretty good looking when he's not imitating a homeless person!

Lauren Alaina - Oh, yeah, Tee ... this says what you think it says. Finally Lauren stepped away from the booty-shaking performances and just sang with what turned out to be a rather lovely voice.

Scotty - I love how he looked at the song list, saw "Country" and went for it. I've never heard this song, and I have trouble imagining Elton John singing it, but Scotty did pretty well. The shout out to Grandma WAS cheezy, and Grandma got WAY too much camera time.

Stefano - I can't decide if I actually liked his performance, or if I just really like Tiny Dancer and thought Stefano's make-over was awesome. He looked handsome (except what's with the tennis shoes with the suit?), and sang my other favorite Elton John song.

Pia - Zzzzzzz ... oh, sorry, I fell asleep there for a second. The female Pukaletta. Ballad after ballad after ballad. Good voice, but if she has an ounce of creativity, she has yet to show it. Boring.

Durbin - He lit a piano on fire, which was fun. And I do agree with Tee that he genuinely LIKES what he's doing. He has fun, which makes me smile. That's all I've got.

Speaking of cheezy shout-outs ... Paul - "Sing Rocket Man like an encore" could not have meant less to Paul, apparently. Because he basically whispered it beyond recognition.

Naima - Once I got over the fact that she was faking a Jamaican accent, I sort of liked the musical part. Just not her singing. Or her dancing. Or her outfit. Or the fact that she FAKED AN ACCENT.

Jacob - At least he didn't sing "Can You Feel The Love Tonight", which is about the only good thing about his performance. I would go see him on Broadway (assuming I get to go to Broadway someday), but that's it, because it'd be a cold day in hell before I'd buy his CD or see him in concert. Also, I do a KILLER Jacob imitation after a few glasses of wine!

Thia - My brother moved away? THAT'S what you're going with? Seriously? Daniel died in a war. Nice try though, pagent queen. Your stage parents should've coached you better than that.

She's Got Electric Boobs!

2011-03-30T22:11:00.000-05:00

OK, I know the correct words are She's Got Electric Boots but I'm not sure I would know that if I didn't have closed caption on my TV. (Credit to the writers of *27 Dresses* for the electric boobs line). Like all of Bernie Taupin's lyrics, its easy to mix the words up on *Bennie and the Jets* and hard to figure out what they mean unless you have the album liner or closed caption in front of you when you are listening to them. Or maybe its just me. Why do I have closed caption you ask? Well, I like to watch Gordon Ramsey whose accent I don't understand very well unless he is being bleeped so one day I asked Mr. Auntee to put the closed caption on to watch Hell's Kitchen and now I cannot figure out how to take it off. And it comes in handy sometimes, like tonight.

First, a confession, I actually voted tonight for the first time since the top 13 were announced. Not obsessively (the lines were too busy for that). I know who I want to go home tomorrow and I have a prediction about who will go home tomorrow, but I am not very confident in my prediction and I KNOW my wishes about who goes home will not come true.

Scotty gets the death slot. So called, because people generally forget the #1 performer. Perhaps the performance order is part of the nefarious plot to undermine Scotty with the voters, but it will fail. Particularly after that performance. Scotty went back to his proper and amazing low range and killed it. I didn't know this song but when the forum people said Scotty should sing it (the only *country* song Elton John ever did evidently), I went to Youtube to hear Elton sing it. Elton was just pretending he was singing a country song. Scotty not only made this song his own, he made it a country song. And how about not buckling to Jimmy Iovine and singing the verse to his grandma. I suppose shouting out to grandma could have come off as cheesy. For some reason, it just seemed very natural and Scotty to me. And, I got tears in my eyes I was so proud of him! This was before I poured my wine for the evening too.

Well, Naima, I think you have about a 75% chance or greater of not still standing on the stage next week. Gotta give her credit for taking chances. She is just going to do what she wants to do. I actually liked the Reggae. The judges did not. So, probably America will not. She is, in my opinion, the most purely beautiful in appearance of the women this year. But, I think she is probably going home and in the bottom three for sure.

The forum junkies predicted that Paul would sing *Your Song*. He sang *Rocket Man* instead. I don't think he carried off what he was trying to do. He listened to Randy last week, so he did his *tender voice* (a little too much.) I still think him coming out and saying *how are y'all tonight* is cheesier than those cheese balls you see on buffet tables that are covered with nuts that no one ever eats. Basically I was bored. I would not have wanted to attend the concert that preceded this encore performance. I would send him home for never living up to the expectations I had for him at the beginning and his generally cheesy, skinny, weasleness. I think he will stay at least another week.

PiA sings another ballad. Very well too, although can someone tell these contestants to ditch the choir in the robes? I loathe them. They add nothing to anyone's performance who can actually sing (although they carried Lee DeWyze to the title last year). I still am not in love with her but admire her technical abilities. She is going to sing River Deep Mountain High next week (which I gather from Youtube was recently performed on Glee) made famous by Tina Turner 20 plus years before PiA was born, but also sung by...wait for it...CELINE DION! So..I'm not sure if the theme next week is the 60s, Tina Turner, Celine Dion, or sons recently sung on Glee, but we will be getting some up tempo from PiA (with, I predict, about as much excitement as the rag doll mentioned in the first line of the song). But...I want PiA to stay in. One of these days, I'm going to be voting my little fingers off for her.

Stefemo does Tiny Dancer, another song which I appreciated having closed caption for. He was fine. He kept his eyes open. He put out his hand to Jlo. I'm basically indifferent to Stefemo. I'm thinking maybe there are others in America who agree with me and he might find himself in the bottom 3 again.

And NOW, singing the BEST SELLING SINGLE IN THE WORLD...comes Lauren Alaina. I had said on the forums that if someone sang Candle In the Wind I would throw up (many were very excited about the prospect of their favorite singing this song...especially the *Princess Di* version...what with the Royal Wedding coming up and all). Well, thanks to the fact that Elton John will never let anyone sing the *Princess Di* version ever again (a fact which the forum people were not thrilled to learn from me), we were spared that maudlin spectacle. Unfortunately, we were not spared the twangy, calf bleating, countrified breathy version sung by Lauren Alaina. I don't know why the judges like her. The only saving grace tonight it was it was a difficult song for her to do her normal lap dancing moves to the judges with. But she made up for that by her outfit and *shaking it up* in the commentary. Silly little calf. I know that one day I am going to be dialing my fingers to the bone for PiA so that PiA knocks her out of the competition.

Everyone predicted James would do Saturday Night is All Right For Fighting (another song I'm glad I had closed caption for). This kid just makes me smile. I know KK thinks he is Adam Lambert II but I don't agree. I'm not even a big rock fan. He just makes me smile and I think its because he just loves doing whatever he is doing out there and its infectious.

Oh Thia...she made me cry too but my wine glass was 3/4 empty by that time. Yes, she is robotic and pageanty. Yes, I didn't like her at the beginning. Now, she just breaks my heart. Her voice is wonderful. She is just too young (and perhaps too stage parented) for this experience. Unlike Lauren, she cannot pull off a *oh...aren't I just so young and sassy and clueless* persona. I liked how she mentioned her older brother but WHY don't these kids do a little bit of googling as to a song's history. This song is about a wounded and disillusioned Viet Nam veteran (or perhaps one KIA whose body is on the way to Spain from Nam), not some guy going off to college. Bottom three I think, although I voted for her once or twice out of empathy.

Casey redeems himself singing Your Song. He can actually sing and not growl. I think Casey thinks a lot of himself. I think he got a wake up call last week. He is not going to be showing off how edgy he is anymore. This week he picks the Elton John song EVERYONE knows and loves and plays it straight. A nice job and he won't be in the bottom three. I don't think I can vote for him though...if you want to know why, check out the latest on votefortheworst.com about his propensity to send phone pix to women. The rumor may not be true. But why take a chance when I like Scotty and James so much more?

Jacob has worn out whatever favor I had for him. He looked like he was in agony tonight singing that song and I couldn't help but think perhaps he had a case of severe constipation and stomach cramps. Tone down the queening, preening camp Jacob, or you will be going home in a couple of weeks.

Hailey (Haley) sings Bennie and the Jets! She must have had a lot of votes last week because Randy doesn't hate her anymore. I don't think it was necessarily the best performance of the night but it was in the top three or four along with Scotty and James. Lots more interesting than PiA. And, I sorta thought, she could BE Bennie with electric boobs or boots and a mohair suit! I hope she is safe this week. I bet Lauren pouted up a storm when Steven said Hailey sings sexy.

I am glad that the producers are letting the contestants do a little more of their own in terms of interacting with the audience ala Scotty and Naima doing shout outs (even cheese ball Paul) and Stefemo holding out his hand to Jennifer. Simon would never have stood for those stage tricks, but then who misses Simon?

So...prediction as to bottom three? Naima, Stefemo, and Thia. Maybe Jacob as I think he is wearing pretty thin at this point. Who do I WANT to go home? Lauren, Lauren and Lauren.

Hicks-alike is Staying Alive

2011-03-29T08:25:00.000-05:00

Casey, Casey, Casey. I like him. A lot. I don't want to see the resemblance to Taylor Hicks. Do they both growl? Yeah. Do they both do weird dancing? Yeah. But Casey is awesome and Taylor Hicks is lame.

Plus, do you really think a save used on Taylor Hicks would've been so emotional? I teared up. Seriously. He was genuinely thrilled and surprised ... but he was the only one ... because everybody else knew he'd be saved!

I needed to post because Tee and I disagree on some things. My husband tells me that I was "off", and that I wasn't hearing things right (because I disagree with him, too). But here's my take on Motown Week:

I don't get it:

Jacob. He seems like a nice guy, but would you really buy a CD with his over-the-top, theatrical, drama-songs? Reuben Studdard anybody? The judges are constantly fawning over him, my husband puts him in the top performers every time, Tee loves him. I must be missing something.

Durbin. He's okay, for a Lambert wanna be. But he's Lambert minus creativity. We get it, you're a rocker. Next.

Naima dancing. Weird. I mean, I guess she's talented. So, go on America's Got Talent. What happened to "this is a singing competition"?

Bad raps

Lauren Alaina wasn't horrible. I actually kind of liked her little performance (but was again uncomfortable with her rubbing up on the judges).

And Scotty did Motown right, I thought. Even put a little country twist into it. And what's with the wink and the nod into the camera, Scotty? You know you're a cute little thing, don't you?

Steffano is actually really good. Does he close his eyes (a move that has previously driven me insane - Pukaletta)? Yeah. He lacks a little emotion, too, I guess. But he's got a beautiful voice and seems like a great kid. (Disclaimer: His lack of creativity will get boring fast.)

Pia - I agree with the judges that she needs to get over the ballads.

Next to go (in KK's world)

Thia botched the words and was appropriately scolded for it by being (hopefully) knocked down a peg and sent to the stools. You're not invincible, pretty little pagent girl.

And just a quick comment on Hottie Paul. I haven't researched this myself, but have it on good authority that he has a band, who has songs for sale on iTunes, and they're decent songs. Is that fair? I don't know. But I'm sure some voters will get wind of it and think it's not.

Let's Give Scotty a Double Whammy!

2011-03-26T08:57:00.000-05:00

Not content with making Scotty's life hard with Motown week, Idol producers have once again selected a *theme* for next week. It is Elton John week! I have nothing against Elton John other than the words to his songs make no sense and no one even knows what half of them are, but I do know a nefarious plot when I see one! I'm only half-kidding.

I only hope we are spared Lauren singing *The Bitch is Back*.

Oh What A Night!

2011-03-24T20:22:00.000-05:00

At about 6:20 pm tonight, on day 6 of a terrible cold/infection/whatever illness that is resisting all remedies known to man, I was dozing on the couch and thinking *hmm...if I fall asleep before Idol, I can always catch up on Hailey's elimination later...who cares about a stupid Ford video?*. Fortunately, little J called to check on my well-being and got me awake enough to turn on tonight's result show.

First, let me say, I'm thrilled the illness has sapped my predictive powers. Hailey is going on Tour! She wasn't even in the bottom three. Somewhere in America, enough honest souls saw she was getting the shaft and rallied to her cause!

Nygel Lythgoe tweeted this am that tonight would have some shocking news. Nygel is a big drama queen so most of the hard-core fans thought they would probably be announcing something like the Idols moving into a new mansion (the old one apparently leaked like a sieve and they had to move out this week..so much for 5 million dollar houses in LA) or that Simon Cowell will make a guest appearance as a mentor next week. No one thought it would be a shock elimination (including me...but when considered what a shocking elimination would consist of...I thought Casey...believe me or not).

But the show was so packed with out of the ordinary stuff...Stevie Wonder surprising at least one judge (Steven Tyler)...Steven's birthday song...Hulk Hogan knocking Ryan off the stage after the James/Paul WWE preview, I was pretty sure Nygel's shock had already occurred. Not to mention a new mentor in the form of Marc Anthony (aren't he and JLo the nicest people in the world? I never knew that about them and hope they live happily ever after).

The dim the lights moments went pretty much according to plan at first, and I do like the way Ryan is not milking the suspense so much this year. I cannot remember who they sent to safety first, Naima or Hailey, but I was glad that they did not make either of them suffer the suspense for a long time.

I was not terribly surprised to see Thia in the bottom three as she is just boring even though her voice is good. Obviously, Jason wasn't going to be there. So...we get Stefemo and Casey and I'm thinking Casey is going to be sent right back to the couch and we would have to endure another emo performance from Stefemo. I was just thinking it was a bad week for the Emo family since Gordan Ramsey dissed his mother's pasta last night, and suddenly Casey is standing there all by himself. Randy is ready to storm the stage, JLo is in shock and Steven is shaking his head probably thinking someone slipped him some drugs as he is now in some alternate universe. Stefemo hugs and cries on Casey way too long, Naima looks pissed as hell, andJames has a full blown Tourette's attack (bless his heart).

Casey bravely starts growling his song, his parents are hugging each other with tears in their eyes, and Randy STOPS THE SHOW! Let there be no doubt who is the judge in charge here. And I knew the save was on.

Which is not, in my opinion, a mistake. A mistake would have been saving Stefemo or Thia or Lauren. At least now they cannot use it to save Lauren.

Jlo, gives Casey some good advice. Stop the growling. Ironically, the growling saved Hailey this week. Oh well. Art is not consistent.

So, all eleven will go on tour which is not a problem for me given that Lauren was NEVER going to be cut out of the top 10 and that I will not see the tour in any event.

A note on the guest artists (other that Stevie). The woman's voice in Sugarland went through me like a knife. Jennifer Hudson was great but wouldn't the song be just as effective if instead of the bad grammar *Where You At?* refrain, the refrain was *Where Are You?* Just sayin'.

Next week two go home.

Pick A Theme to Screw Scotty (aka Motown Week).

2011-03-23T22:00:00.000-05:00

I love Motown. I just wish the producers motives had not been so transparent in choosing Motown this week. At some point, the producers announced they would not do theme weeks this season, so each contestant could *be who they are*. Evidently, they changed their mind. Perhaps because one contestant is running away with the competition?

I predicted in a post on the AI forums Casey would do Grapevine. The music advisors wisely told him to slow down the Nirvana train he did not want to jump off of yet and it came off pretty well. I must confess, his growling is getting a bit tiresome. Not really a *moment*, but not bad either. Or so my notes said. By the end of the show I had pretty much forgotten about Casey.

I also predicted Thia would do something more up tempo and be praised for her growth. Sadly, she brought about as much heat to the wave as an ice cube. She also messed up the words. Which was not mentioned.

I predicted Jacob just might take to the invisible wires in a tutu with wings and soar above the audience this week. He did so metaphorically. Ryan prolongs his moment of glory by having a bunch of girls come up and hug him. Which sort of steals some time and thunder away from the next contestant, Lauren. I guess Ryan is paying her back for trying to get him sick last week. Don't mess with Ryan, contestants...he can be your best friend or your worst enemy.

I thought Lauren might do a ballad. No, she just does what she wants to do and always does...a song that she can sex up and shake her head and butt about on and go make eyes at the judges with...every..single...week. I wish she would stop hanging on. I am certainly not keeping her hanging on. I want her to LET GO...far away. She said people have been saying mean things about her online. I guess that would be me because from what I can tell she is universally beloved by the entire Idol Forum Board. I have actually not said bad things about her on the board for fear of being stalked and shot.

Stefemo (my name is getting more and more appropriate for him as even the Jimmy guy said he is pure emotion...or the song is..or something). He says he will keep his eyes open but he cannot. Before Stefemo sings, Ryan reminds the crowd that David Cook had a moment with this song in his season. I knew then this was going to be another overwrought performance and that Stefemo has ticked Ryan off in some way.

Hailey does You Really Got A Hold On Me. She is basically told *you might as well do whatever the hell you want to do because your going home anyway*. She comes out and gives it her best shot and we see her voice go all over the place. I liked it even if it was also overwrought, but it is too late for Hailey. She has been trashed for the last 3 weeks and has no fan base.

Oh Scotty.... I love you Scotty but that wasn't really very good and you probably should not have tried to country it up. I hoped you would sing My Girl. I thought the judges would be harder on him than they were. The joke appears to be on Scotty haters, however. According to DialIdol.com he is running away with the votes. He is safe but he has lost some momentum which was what this week is designed to do.

PiA sings another ballad. Altogether now, to the tune of I Am Woman let us sing: *Yes I sing high notes and Yes I sing on key. Yes I sing Celine but tonight I'll sing Stevee. I am loud, I am beautiful, I am PIAAAAA!*

Paul says Motown makes him want to move. Thats all we need is more movement from Paul. He sings a classic Tracks of My Tears just like Rod Stewart would sing it (and probably did) but forgets to move. He pronounces the words *with you* as *witchoo*. The judges loved it. Especially the last three notes where he was *tender*. And no one can confuse him with ANYONE else (except for Rod Stewart).

Naima wants to dance. She made a wise choice with her song and managed to sing it on key I think. But its a happy song and she looked happy singing and dancing to it so go Naima!

Finally, James Durbin. I think he is amazing.

Worst performance of the night? Lauren Alaina (oh, ok, it was probably Scotty). Going home? Hailey.

Spoiler!

2011-03-19T22:51:00.000-05:00

Motown Theme next week. Guess Scotty is getting too many votes for the producer's comfort so they are changing their original plan of *no theme weeks* in order to even the playing field. Vote for Scotty this week in protest!

Karen Flames Out

2011-03-17T20:40:00.000-05:00

This elimination did not bring me the joy that last week's elimination did. Especially when Karen sang Hero and I remembered that she can sing very well and can be rather moving when she does. Sadly, she couldn't sing Hero every week. Poor song choices, nerves, or whatever, caught up with her...plus entirely too much pimping of PiA and Thea and Lauren.

The Idols started out with Born to Be Wild...a marvelous song. I was really enjoying it until they threw in that other song...whatever it was. Makes you wonder if that Jimmy guy is really the genius he is hyped up to be, assuming he was responsble for that very odd juxtaposition.

Lee De Wyze sings again. And goes off pitch in the middle of the song. How did this guy win again? Oh yeah..last wgwg standing. Nice guy, though.

The Black Eyed Peas sing the same melody all the time only with different words. I guess it is the new fad to infuse a rap song with a woman singing an actual melody with coherent lyrics and alternating that with rap crap that has nothing to do with the lyrics sung by the woman. I'm not a fan. Not to mention that the song was auto-tuned and reverberated all to heck.

My prediction accuracy is beginning to scare me. At this point, I don't have a real favorite so it is kind of fun to sit back and just watch what they all do each week. I'm not even voting. I'm sort of rooting for Hailey and Naima to pull it out next week, but I'm pretty sure they will not. One of them is going home next week.

It Was a Year (continued)

2011-03-17T09:57:00.001-05:00

Now that my tummy is full of pancakes and scrambled eggs, I can focus better. Perhaps it was the hunger last night, but I thought the entire program lacked energy. And that the judges were trying to manufacture energy as they went along. Of course, some of the contestants were sick. And a lot of song were from the 80s, which is not a decade of pop music I know well. So here is my recap...admittedly colored by my mood and musical ignorance.

Naima does Tina Turner. Her voice just isn't strong enough for Tina and it was not a barnstorming performance. The judges said she was pitchy and I had to agree even though I don't normally hear pitchy when the judges do as I do NOT have perfect pitch. I think she will be in trouble this week.

Paul has a cold. Rumor has it he also has a nodule or nodules on his vocal cords which demand surgery but he is putting it off. Which may or may not account for his unique raspy voice. I like Elton John and I like that song. I don't like Paul coming out and saying *how ya all doing* and throwing other shoutouts to the audience in the middle of his songs. That is just cheesy. He still is jumping around in an unattractive manner. To me he is getting worse every week. And I wanted to like him.

Thea does Vanessa Williams (isn't this a song from Pocohontas?). The song was age appropriate and her voice is crystal clear and on key but once again she looked like she was in a beauty pageant (ala Miss Williams). I was glad that Randy agreed with me on the pageant point. I don't get what a fox howling at a blue corn moon has to do with the earthquake in Japan and the slaughter of Libyan citizens but I suppose she meant well in trying to choose a song that had something to do with *what is going on in the world*. I used to not like her. Now I have sympathy for her. She also wrote a song called *And I Will Always Love You* when she was six and before she heard of Whitney Houston. Believe that if you want to do so. But, evidently she still hasn't heard of Dolly Parton. Sort of like Charlie *Chapman*.

James Durbin does Bon Jovi and Steven is worried he is getting too poppy. I didn't get what Steven meant by poppy...but later it dawned on me that he thought James might be going too far away from rock. James makes a HUGE blunder by talking about what he is going to sing in the finale. America is now thinking he is not only poppy but poppy-cocky and it may cost him some votes. He needs to humble down a bit.

Hailey does Whitney. Last week Jennifer said Hailey should do pop so Hailey does pop and Randy still hates her. She was a little affected in her mannerisms and should have sung a better known song but I didn't think she was THAT awful. She is in trouble though...for some reason no one likes her. I'm wondering if she is not working as hard as the others because the Jimmy guy said *it all comes down to work ethic* and if that is what is driving the Hailey hate train from the producers and Randy. Who knows? If she isn't gone this week, she will probably be gone the next week and that is too bad because she is the only girl who has a voice that interests me in the slightest.

Stefano considered Milli Vanilli but opted for some other guy whose name I have forgotten and sang an emo version of If You Don't Know Me by Now. I think it would have been a hoot if he had done Milli Vanilli...who themselves didn't do Milli Vanilli! Like Thea he evidently knows no music history. Even I know that Milli Vanilli didn't sing their songs. I'm tired of him and his over the top emotional mannerisms. From now on, he is Stefemo to me.

PiA sang Whitney Houston (of course). A little bit more up tempo than her usual Whitney Houston/Celine Dione ballads. Well sung. I just don't like her belting style. Will she do Mariah next week? The suspense is killing me!

Scotty sings Travis Tritt and in the interest of growth abandons his extraordinary lower register which just makes his performance ordinary. Go back to singing low Scotty.

Karen doesn't want to be known as just a Spanish singer. I don't remember what song she sang but it wasn't by Selena. She also sung part of it in Spanish. So we would know that she is not just a Spanish singer. Seriously, this was her best performance so far but it was also not extraordinary. And I don't mind her singing in Spanish...just don't double talk us.

Casey Abrams takes a big risk and does Nirvana and for some reason is allowed to play his bass. Oh Casey. I don't know about this. I think you might have lost some old ladies out there. I loved his parents though. They were a HOOT! Sometimes I do want to tell Casey to chill out a bit.

And here comes our little ray of sunshine Lauren Alaina singing I'm the Only One a fitting song for her personality as she thinks she is the One (evidently she hasn't heard of Obama). She has the flu so she comes out and gives hands Ryan a face mask that has been balled up in her germy paws and expects him to put it on. How cute! She sings like she normally does (a baby cow) and then to be especially cute, fake coughs on Ryan as he is giving the audience her numbers...*just kidding*....yeah get Ryan sick you little self-centered brat. If I were Ryan, I would stay 5 feet away from her for the remainder of her stay on Idol.

And Jacob comes on to sing Alone by Heart, which is the very last song I would ever have expected him to sing. And he is so over the top with it, I'm surprised he didn't have some sort of platform taking him to the stars. I'm losing some love for Jacob. Although his mother was funny.

So...I was NOT impressed last night with anyone in particular. I don't think anyone had a very good year.

It Was A Year

2011-03-16T21:12:00.000-05:00

Some very good, some not so good, some verging on annus horribulis. But...I am cranky tonight because I have had no solid food today due to a procedure tomorrow. I don't do hungry well. And of course, Idol had all the restaurant chains advertising tonight and I wanted all of it...even the fake roast beef at Arbys.

So, I have decided to do my blog tomorrow when I have a better disposition. I will (sadly) predict that Naima, Hailey, and Karen are in the bottom three.

Yay! KK is BAAACK!! And An Udate on Casey.

2011-03-11T19:25:00.000-06:00

Hope she can find the time for more posts as we need something besides my crotchety grandtee views (I am now officially *Grandtee* to my grand-nieces and grand-nephews.)

First things first. I read that Casey's health issues involve a bleeding ulcer. Just call me Dr. House. But, that can be very serious and I hope that they can do something to help him out so it is not a recurring problem. Crystal said the show provided her with the best medical care she ever received in her life so I hope it does the same for Casey.

Second, my opinion of the candidates is not that much off the mark from KK's opinions although I like James Durbin better than she does and Paul MacDonald less. And, I really don't dislike Pia, I just find her style not that interesting. Its not that she screams so much as she is a belter like Celine and Whitney and that has been done and done to death on this show and in the world of music. I like a little more subtlety and jazz to the voice, like Hailey. But, I must say that Pia is a beautiful young woman and I like her for not being vain about it and appearing in her glasses and hair in a pony. I think she is a hard worker too.

But truly, other than Lauren, I LIKE all the rest of the candidates. Even Thia who I didn't like at first is endearing herself to me as a person (not as a performer). I think she has a Tiger Mom and that explains her robotic stiffness.

I read no instruments next week either (BOOOOOO!). So we will see what they all come up with.

Fro-tastic!

2011-03-11T11:24:00.000-06:00

First, I need to apologize for my non-existent postings. In the interest of full-disclosure: I have a 16 month old daughter and a 1 month old son (an endeavor that I don't recommend for anybody). If I get 5 seconds to myself, I normally take a shower instead of get online. I do hope to be a more regular contributor from here on out.

I am thrilled beyond belief that "Miss Thong" is gone. I can remember one performance (group day) that I liked. Every other performance of hers I've wanted to scream "are the judges listening to something else entirely?" The only good thing about her was the Fro, which was fantastic.

Here's the order in which I'd send the rest of the contestants home:

Steffano - Stevie Wonder + dance remix. Enough said.

Karen "I'm Latina" Rodriguez - We get it, you're Latina. We get it, you speak spanish. Next.

Lauren Alaina - While I don't share Auntee's hatred for her, she can only float on Steven Tyler's lust for so long.

Thia - While her voice is okay, she bores me.

Naima - I'd like to hang out with her, but mainstream America won't "get" her.

Jacob Lusk - He does have his fantastic moments, but he's TOO much. I would've liked him so much better if he would've done R Kelly's Trapped in the Closet.

Lambert 2.0 - Been done before.

Hailey - I fear that her ability to sing a broad spectrum of songs will ultimately kill her, which is weird because other contestants get praised for that.

Hottie Paul - My husband would be so mad that I put Paul this high on the list, because he's a fan. But he's too quirky to make it to the end.

Casey - I was totally on the Casey-to-win train until somebody pointed out a resemblance to Taylor Hicks (which I refuse to agree with at this point.)

Pia - Blows my mind that Auntee considers her a screamer, because I think she's amazing.

Scotty McCreery - AI producers should ride this teenage money train all the way to the bank. I'm surprised he's not already at home rolling around in his piles of cash. There was a time when I'd make dirty sexual comments about Scotty, but now that I have a son of my own, I fear I would just sound like a dirty old lady. So instead I'll say that I'd like to adopt little Scotty as my own son so that I could pinch his cheeks and watch my husband play catch with him in the back yard. I love me some Scotty (And I hate country music.)

Goodbye Miss Thong.

2011-03-10T20:21:00.000-06:00

Well, I am not sorry to see Miss Thong go. America didn't like her before and she didn't win them over with pretending to be Diana Ross. And, while I criticized her for not singing a well-known Diana Ross song, I am grateful she didn't subject us to that well-known but nauseating *And I Am Telling You* as the door hit her thong on the way out. Sweet Karen had a reprieve, and poor Haley. Any other year, with all the themes, Haley's versatility would be a plus. Now they want her to find her slot and stick to it. Maybe she should just sing *And I Am Telling You* or *Hallelujah* next week to make them happy.

I had to google Diddy Dirty Money. I didn't understand it was a band. I thought it was Sean Combs, Puff Daddy, Puff Diddy singing and that he changed his name once again. As he and JLo were once an item, I was interested to see if anything would happen between them but it was all very professional.

Adam Lambert showed us his soft side again. And he is a songwriter now. About alienation, and not fitting in and well...being gay. Why does every song these days have to have a chorus where one note jumps an octave and then comes back down? Other than that predictable element in his song, he was fine. I think he is a nice man. And he is giving to charity. So, good for him.

Casey is in the hospital once more. Before it was stomach problems. I will try to find out what his problem is. He doesn't LOOK frail, but maybe he has ulcers or something.

And, I learned about the new dance craze, the Duggy or the Dougie (it is listed both ways on You Tube). You evidently move your arms like in the Chicken Dance and make your legs bowlegged while you hop around. Cool...or as KK would say awesome!

Lauren boo hood her way to the couch endearing herself to thousands of gullible fans who do not see through her manipulations. I fear I will have to bear with that little tart for a very long season.

According to Dial Idol, which was famously wrong last week on the girl's eliminations, Scotty is America's favorite. Even the tweens and teens are falling for him according to the forum boards. Fine by me. I'm not to the point where I am going to obsessively vote for him but I have no objection to pink cell phones doing it for me. Obviously, if you hate country music you will be upset at the Scotty love.

I am ready for Nigel Lythgoe to let them play their instruments. I think they all do instruments, except for Ultimate Grand Supreme Lauren. OOOH that girl gets on my very LAST nerve!

My Idol..no...really...!

2011-03-09T22:47:00.000-06:00

Sources say that one of the changes this year is doing away with the *Theme Weeks* and letting the Idols pretty much sing what they want to sing in their own genres. Of course, the other change is that if they happen to have talents other than singing (like being a real musician and playing instruments) then they cannot use them (or only 5 times this season). So...tonight's theme is Who is My Idol?

My first question was who is going to get the death slot (#1) and who will get the pimp slot (last) and I must say I would have been shocked to learn the order of performance if I had read about it before the show. After seeing the show, I think the producers got that part almost exactly right.

Some of the contestants actually seemed to have a musical idol and others just seemed to glom onto someone they think that the judges think should be their idol. About half of the songs were retreads from Season 9. Only one of the retreads was arguably better than the Season 9 performance. But thank god, no one said Jeff Buckley was their idol so we were spared another version of Hallelujah! (No one knows that Leonard Cohen wrote that song...or even who Leonard Cohen is...they think Jeff Buckley owns that song).

So..let us begin with:

Sweet Lauren A, Steven's protegee who has NEVER even had a slight critique since she came to Hollywood. She says Shania Twain is her idol. Funny, Steven Tyler was her idol when she auditioned but she is young and can change her mind or allow the producers to do it for her. She sings *Any Man of Mine* and strongly resembles an overaged contestant in a Toddlers and Tiara's pageant as she does so. Shania Twain Week in Season 9 just about derailed everyone but it particularly derailed Siobahn the Magnificent who arguably didn't fail as much as Lauren but...it is a fail for both performances. Lauren was all happy pappy thinking her buddy Steven was going to love her and was SHOCKED to learn that her poop can stink from time to time. *Its Up To America Now*. I think America will put her through so her poop can stink again, but it shouldnt do so.

Casey's idol is Joe Cocker. I can almost believe this. Except Joe Cocker was in the final broadcast of Season 9 singing that same song with Crystal and Lee (and I LOVE that song) so...I'm wondering if Cocker is really Casey's idol or if the producers thought he ought to be. I have to say I got a goosebump or two and Casey succeeded. Of course, no one can really mess up this song as far as I'm concerned, even me in the shower.

Miss Thong does Miss Ross. My guess is that Miss Thong had never heard of Diana Ross until the judges mentioned her and immediately looked her up on her I phone or whatever and then found this lame song that no one has ever heard of. If Miss Ross were truly Thong's idol, she would have come out with a Diana Ross song that the audience had actually heard Miss Ross sing. On a mountain . Or in a Valley, Or at at
stop sign, or in the morning.

Paul MacDonald actually has an idol and his name is Ryan Adams. I have never heard of him and neither has Jennifer, but Randy knows all about Ryan Adams. I had high hopes for Paul until he started doing his very strange dance to a very strange song. The judges said *I hope America gets it*. I didn't get it and I really WANTED to. Can he just stand still and not make Danny Gokey look like Mikhail Barishnokov?

PiA. The Capital A is for her very type A personality. You cannot hate this beautiful woman who sings like....wait for it...Celine Dionne! (Except not so good). She is beautiful, a hard worker, and BOOOORING!

Adam Who? Ok, I am officially saying that if James Durbin wins, I will not be one bit unhappy. I don't know if Paul McCartney is his idol or if the producers have a deal with Sir Paul to have someone sing that song each season. Poor Crystal got pretty sabotaged with it last season in the finale (but did great with it for a woman pretending to be a man). I got tears in my eyes when James sang this song. Yes, Adam could hit the same notes but he was acting and James is not. I love this kid. In my opinion, this is one of the all time best performances I have seen on Idol. Made Pia's performance last week look like cold mashed potatoes.

Haley is my favorite female. As she was singing I thought of Patsy Cline and was surprised to learn this was a song that was intended for Patsy to sing. I hope America gets her.

Jacob has impressed me two weeks in a row. He sang I Gotta Fly or something that Aaron Kelly sang last year. He lost me when the gospel singers came out. I don't know who R Kelly is but then I don't know R&B. I didn't fly.

Thia Megia, like Thong, decided her idol was going to be the person that the judges thought she resembled. So, she chooses Smile. Which is somehow connected to Michael Jackson and not Charlie Chaplin (I suspect Thia thought Michael wrote the song). When Paige sang it last season she burst into tears and horrible notes and got voted off. It might have been nice if someone had warned Thia of that fact. She is a robot. Her voice was good until she tried to outdo Lauren in the Toddlers and Tiara's contest and went into pageant mode. I do think, however, that Thia at least made it to Miss Teenage America and not Little Miss Glitz Peaches in terms of talent.

Stefano...I should love Stevie Wonder. Well I do love him but not his music so much. I don't want to hear it much. Or Stefano. But, at least it wasn't a retread of a song some losing idol had sung before.

Karen...you looked beautiful. Enough said.

Scotty is going to go very very very far. I like his voice. He is good.

Naima surprised me. She IS truly beautiful. All I know about Rihanna is that she has bad hair and her boyfriend beat her up., I liked this song for Naima.

Going home: Karen or Thia but should be Lauren.

Wild Things

2011-03-03T21:19:00.000-06:00

Watching Idol all of these years has made me a pretty good predictor! I missed on Haley and thought R&B voters would carry AshTHON (I have been spelling her name wrong all this time..I'm just going to make up for that by calling her Thong..if only to punish her parents for that ridiculous spelling). And for some reason, I thought America would like Brett (*I'm a burnt cookie*) Lowenstern because he was an underdog. But, on second thought, it occurred to me that maybe, despite his kind nature, he was starting to get on America's nerves as much as mine with all that hugging and hair shaking. Not to mention his stupid self referential metaphors. I'm more than happy to be wrong about Paul and Haley. I like them better than anyone sent to the stools and some of those sent to the couch. The Dim the Lights Drama and the montages took up way too much time, but maybe thats because the top ten were not all that surprising.

So, the show was really about the Wild Cards. NO ONE likes this format and think Nigel Lythgoe made an uncharacteristic blunder in cutting so many all at once. But...after next week, I will be saying Julie who? Jovany who? and be over it.

One only had to look at the 5 girls on the couch to know that Thong was going to be joining them. Idol has never lived down the early departure and subsequent fame (without their help) of Jennifer Hudson. So, of course, Thong chooses Jennifer Hudson's signature song to remind the judges of this injustice. She belts out And I Am Telling You (and I am telling you I am SICK of this song) and makes sure she is all haughty and divaish about it, just in case anyone forgets that she is the new Miss Ross. I suppose I will now have to call her Miss Thong.

Evidently James Durbin and Stefano have a big Bromance which explains why they were the last two standing when the lights dimmed. I was pretty sure Stefano would be asked to sing. I didn't have a problem with him until he was interviewed at the start of the show and talked about how hard it was going to be to see his buddies go home. Maybe it was just him being nervous, but I was thinking at the time *buddy...I think YOUR going home*. I just am not a big fan of his tone..or his singing either. But, JLo loves him. So Robbie and Jovany really were just fillers at that point. I'm not sorry about Robbie as his melismatic mania was already passe when David Archuleta used it. Jovany, I thought, was just made to needlessly suffer more suspense only to be disappointed.

I like Naima. I also liked Kendra. Kendra started too low and soft and Naima was off key a bit, but heartfelt. I wish Kendra was in instead of Miss Thong. Unless Naima pulls a big moment next week, I fear she may be the first to go.

As for the teens, Thia and Lauren A, I am going to have to suffer them for a long long time. At least Thia can sing even if she is a robot. Lauren A and her sense of entitlement will provide me with many more catty moments of blogging so in that respect, her presence is not a total waste of airtime.

The best moment of the show for me, was Clint Dung standing in the group of three and looking like he was going to throw up from nerves. I think he may have thought he had made it through at that point as Jordan and Jovany were reviewed more harshly than he was on Tuesday night. I think it was pretty clear that this trio got the least amount of votes. The second best moment was when neither he nor Jordan were asked to sing in the wild card round. Sorry guys, but maybe you learned a bit about Karma. Fortunately, you will not have a second chance to appear on Idol. Go home to the Karaoke bar and the students (who were probably the only ones voting for Jordan...in the hopes he would never come back to plague them). Karma is a wonderful thing!

Its A Mad World

2011-03-02T22:24:00.000-06:00

I just checked dialidol.com, and it is showing the number one vote getter as Ta Tynisha! I then went to Vote For the Worst to see if she was their selection because that might have skewed the votes, but they chose Rachel Zevita as the worst. The gays at VFTW (that is not a typo...they are proudly gay and make fun of all the gay contestants on Idol) think the girls sing better than the guys. WTF? I'm in upside down land here.

It also looks like Smart Aleck Lauren is safe. As well as Julie Zorilla. Pia and Thia are in fourth and fifth place. So, my predictions are 3/5 right if dialidol is on the mark.

I am baffled at the Ta Tynisha love.

Battle of the Belters Leaves Auntee Cold

2011-03-02T20:37:00.000-06:00

Ryan asks: Who do you Love? No one enough to do more than put in a cursory vote or 2. I believe its going to be a man's year once again. Probably a WGWG (White Guy With Guitar).

My review of the performances in order:

Ta Tynisha: Ta Ta Ta Tynisha. I had never heard that song and your version doesn't inspire me to want to hear it again. You warbled and you hurt my ears. I think Steven and JLo were just trying to be nice. Randy was right...except I don't think it was *just OK*. I think it was not ok. And I hate your hair. You are a pretty girl but no one would know it with that horrible hair. I have no problem with an Afro but get it our of your FACE!

Naima: Beautiful woman. She took on Summertime (which Fantasia supposedly made unsingable for anyone else) and I appreciated that she did it in an upbeat way as opposed to Fantasia's mournful wail. Randy said it was loungy but I liked it. I doubt anyone else did. She will be punished for singing *Fantasia's Song*. Too bad as I find her interesting.

Kendra: I wanted to hear her as the little we heard during Hollywood week I thought showed promise. I wasn't moved. Too much belting and yelling.

Rachel Zevita: Boy she screwed the pooch big time. The range was too low for her, she didn't look authentic with all her faux vampy moves and she was justly panned. Bye Rachel. I sort of liked her too but that was really...not...good.

Karen Rodgriguez: If you are going for votes sing Mariah. Smart song choice. Smarter still to mix it up with the Spanish. I do like her personality and she makes no bones about wanting to sing with a Latina flavor. Unlike Tatiana Del Toro (who hid her accent until she thought it might get her some votes and then went all Penelope Cruz on us) Karen says I'm Latina and I'm proud. Good for her. She sang that song no better than any other Mariah Carey wanna be I have heard on this show over the years but I do like he personality.

The Other Lauren: No one knows about her because she is not THE Lauren who Steven loves. I liked her but not so much the song. I may vote once or twice for her but it will be futile.

Ashton Jones: Just when Jacob Lusk makes me think I like R&B, along comes Ashton and makes me hate it again. Enough said.

Julie Zorilla: Your better off singing Mariah than Kelly, Carrie or Fantasia, and Julie paid the price with the judges comments. She is toast I fear. I didn't think she was so bad but the judges hated her.

Haley Reinhardt: I was looking forward to her too and was ultimately disappointed. What is with these songs that I don't like? Without this format, she might have sung another day and won over some fans with a better song but I'm afraid she is a goner too.

Thia Megia: Very smart move to start off acapello, very smart age appropriate song choice and she sang it well. Dammit. I don't like her smart little ass. She is David Archuleta all over again...planted in the show from her time on America's Got Talent and probably has insufferable stage parents too. I think she is as cold as ice.

Lauren Alaina: Well this little smart aleck could fart on stage and get good reviews from the judges. I don't like her either and thought her performance was underwhelming. At least Thia can sing.

Pia Toscano: Belter extraordinaire and thats what the judges want this season (no more Crystal Bowersox's for them thank you very much). I thought the song was fine and once again a smart choice because nearly everyone, including musically stupid me, has heard it. I thought she hit a couple of bad loud notes but she got a standing O from the judges. To me it wasn't Adam's Mad World or Crystal's People Get Ready or even close to them. Maybe I just don't like belters. Still, if she knocks of Thia Megia and Lauren Smart Aleck, I will be happy.

Predictions for Top 5 (without cheating and going to Dial Idol): Pia, Thia, Lauren A, Karen and probably Ashton. Which means I won't be voting for a girl this season. I really don't love any of them. In fact, Auntee is in a very cranky mood because she was NOT entertained tonight.

Update From Dial Idol

2011-03-02T06:19:00.000-06:00

Dial Idol (dialidol.com) is not always accurate on the placings, but is usually accurate when it gives someone a green and it looks like Scotty McCreary was American's favorite last night. Surprising to me, Stefano got a pretty high placement and it look like Casey Abrams may be in some trouble. I'm thinking I have overestimated Brett's appeal to the voters...I thought since he was the classic underdog and had been such a nice guy and did a decent job, he would attract a lot of votes but not according to Dial Idol. Surprisingly, it looks like Jordan Dorsey got a good share of votes. Clint Dung, however, was at the bottom of the Dial Idol pack. However, unless your green on that site, anything can happen, so we will see.

Boys Night Out

2011-03-01T21:31:00.000-06:00

First, I am not in favor of the format this year. One chance to make the top 10. Then the *wildcards* chosen by the judges (not sure how many...at least 2 I guess). Good people get thrown off too early this way and my guess is that Tim Halperin and Paul McDonald will not make the top 5 and that is a shame. The only good thing is I'm pretty sure Jordan Dorsey and Clint Dung are not going to make the top 5 either.

My critique in order of performance:

Clint was placed in the death spot and that is a good thing because hopefully voters will forget about him. I thought he was overshadowed by the band and by the chorus when it chimed in and I thought he was karaoke. I guess I know where he got his nickname June Bug becaue he hopped all over like one, but I did not find it endearing. Once again he talks about the artist he want to be. I have a Superstition American Idol is not going to be his ticket to fame. The judges liked him. I did not.

Jovany is a guy you really want to like. He sang pretty well but did not move me (sort of like Big Mike last year). Steven and Jennifer thought he was good, Randy not so much. He better count on his looks to get him through this week because his performance was not in the top 5 or even the top 7.

Jordan wants to be a legend. Lets face it...the judges were more than kind to all the contestants tonight but even they couldn't say anything nice about this train wreck of a performance. He had every possible range in the song and all ranges sounded bad. When he took off his jacket and spun around like he was some big sex symbol I almost threw up. He is not remotely sexy. When he realizes that a performance that he thought was marvelous was not received well by the judges, he quickly agrees that jumping around is not who he is as a legend. I think he thought he could outsing Usher and probably still thinks so.

I was so looking forward to Tim Halperin after hearing his very brief Beatles performance in Las Vegas. He too chooses a jumping around song which does nothing to showcase his voice and he is moving too much for cameras to get a close up of his cute face. I'm afraid he will be one of the victims of this format and go home too soon.

When Brett started Light My Fire, I thought he was in deep trouble, but he saved it and it was really quite good. The head shakes (14) were just distracting though. Not the worst performance of the night but not the best either.

James Durbin delivered. Big time. I'm not a fan of that type of music but even I knew it was something special and he kept the screaming to a minimum. He SHOULD be in the top 5.

Robbie Rosen (Anoop 2.0). Boring. He's gone.

Scotty (who I am secretly rooting for) did his country thing well and chose a patriotic song which did bring a small tear to my eye. He looked awfully relaxed on that stool just singing away.

Stefano Falsetto ALL the time...seems like a really nice kid but I'm sick of falsettos and was bored.

Paul MacDonald sang a classic and sang it well. I hope he makes it to the top 5 but I'm doubtful he did enough compared to the other good performances. I had high hopes for him and Tim coming off Las Vegas but tonight he was good but not awesome so I'm worried for him.

Jacob Lusk. Jennifer says Scotty makes a girl from the Bronx like Country. Jacob makes a girl from Kansas like R&B. No wonder Jordan didn't do a classic R&B song. The comparison with Jacob would have been devastating for Jordan.

Casey Abrams is just flat awesome. Yes, he sort of growls but in a good way and his song choice was unique as well as his delivery. I'm not worried about him. He is my early bet to win the whole thing.

Predictions for Top 5? Brett, James Durbin, Scotty, Jacob Lusk and Casey Abrams. Wild Card maybes? Paul McDonald, Tim Helperin and Stefano. Hopefully gone for good: Clint Dung and Jordan Dorsey. Robbie and Jovany maybe could have lasted a few weeks with the old format but I think they are going to be trampled in the voting tonight.

My favorite performance of the night? Surprsingly, given the music, James Durbin.

Interchangeable Dime A Dozen Diva Wanna Bees and Two Kids Were Robbed

2011-02-24T21:14:00.000-06:00

First, note the new title, courtesy of Mr. Auntee. As Monica and I were watching Idol tonight and he was making one of his many trips to the john (he's getting old you know), he asked: *Is that more American Idolness?*. I like it so I stole it.

Now, MRS. Auntee is not entirely upset about the top 24. I will predict right now the winner will be a guy because all of the women with the possible exceptions of Haley Reinhardt and Rachel Zevita are Interchangeable Dime A Dozen Diva Wanna Bees (DAD for short). I don't think the audience is going to be able to tell the difference between Karen Rodgriguez, Julie Zorilla, Lauren Turner and Pia Toscano. I would add in Thia Megea to the group but she is Asian so maybe America will be able to tell her apart from the other DADs. Then there are the blondes, Kendra and Lauren A. I'm going out on a limb here and think Kendra will be voted off right away. Not because she isn't as good as the other DADs or maybe even better but because she is *old* (at 23 or so) and she has some smarts and looks like she doesn't take any guff. Consequently, I plan to vote for her unless she just really stinks on Wednesday night. Rachel Zevita is unique only in that she is not quite a DAD but more of a MCWB (Mariah Carey Wanna Be). I don't like Mariah Carey and while I have nothing against Rachel personally, she doesn't move me. Two contestants I want to see voted off right away (but probably will make it to the top 10) are Lauren A and Thia Megea. I don't like Lauren's sexing it up at age 15 with Steven Tyler and Thia is a plant from America's Got Talent and seems very full of herself. I may be wrong and Thia may be the sweetest little thing in the world but I just have a visceral (although irrational) dislike for her that dates from her audition. So...of the women I'm rooting for Haley at the moment.

Now for the men. Complete waste of spots for Clint Jun Dung and Jordan Dorsey. Clint is just a jerk and should be punished for what he did to Jaycee. He has no soul and I cannot fathom I will ever get goose bumps from hearing him (and not just because he is gay...I occasionally got goosebumps from Adam Lambert). Jordon the *music teacher* Dorsey who refused to let people into one group because *it just wasn't going to work* and then jumped ship to another group is another souless performer. He falls into the category of Interchangeable R&B Singer (IRS)...which is admittedly a code word for a black guy who sings high notes. Fortunately, Jacob Lusk is competing for the R&B slot and will blow Jordan away. Clint and Jordan robbed sweet Jaycee and Colton of their rightful place (and probably some others as well who were not featured).

Other than Clint and Jordan, I like all of the men finalists more or less. Robby Rosen reminds me of Anoop and I don't think he is going to last long. James Durbin is NOT Adam Lambert. Javony (sp) wasn't featured much but he might hang on as he is definitely a hunk. I'm going to predict that Scott, Casey Abrams*, Jacob Lusk and Tim Halperin make it to the final 6. The other two slots are up for grabs.

No one is going to make me vote for them more than a few times at this point.

As for the show itself, we can see the more expert hand of Nygel Lythgoe. We were not too sidetracked by people going nowhere and I liked the way they interwove the final song with the contestants.

*TMZ is reporting that Casey Abrams was hospitalized with stomach pains Wednesday and that as the Tuesday show tapes tomorrow, he may be out. I hope he is not but if he is, pray that they don't bring back Chris Medina..

Boo, Hoo, and Who?

2011-02-23T22:06:00.000-06:00

Boo! Jun Dung aka Moonman (Mr. Auntee calls everyone with those round glasses *Moonman* and I don't really know why) aka Jun Bug or is that Jun Smug is in the final 24. He is so happy to be able to show America the *kind of artist I wanna be*. America has already seen what kind of an a-hole you are Dung, and I hope it does not forget. Kudo's to Randy for reminding the viewing audience that he was the jerk who kicked sweet faced Jaycee out of the group in Hollywood week. I don't think America will forget that and if he draws a large segment of voters I will be surprised. He is not cute enough for the tweens, the frauen like me hate him for beating up on Jaycee, and the twenty-thirty somethings will find a heterosexual hearthrob among the final 12 men to latch on to. At least I sincerely hope so. I want him soundely rejected by all decent Americans. He has *worked so many years in music*. Hardly dude...it was a friggin Karaoke bar.

Hoo: Jennifer Lopez has what appears to be a genuine breakdown when she has to tell Chris Medina goodbye. This was a true shocker as I didn't think the show could waste that back story and that he was a shoe-in for the final 24. But he really didn't sing very well. To his credit, he took it like a man and I have a little bit of respect for him for that...or as much as I can have for a guy who traded on his girlfriend's brain injury to get on a talent show.

Who? After saying the entire show we were going to find out who the final 24 are we really only learn about the fate of 6 or 7. Of those who were announced tonight, I cannot say I am unhappy. I liked Paul McDonald, the soft voiced singer but he probably won't stand a chance. Naimeh seems like a nice down to earth person. Ashton fills the Whitney/Marish/Jennifer Hudson slot and I am hoping she fares better than the contestants chosen to fill that slot for the past 3 or 4 years. Haley Reihnhardt intriques me. I like her unusual jazzy voice although when she first auditioned I don't think I thought much of her. She may overdo it though.

I KNOW who the top 24 are but I won't spoil it for you If you want to know you can go to votefortheworst.com or other sites to find out (will need to go to 2nd page of VFTW for the list). I will give KK a boost though. John Wayne is not in the top 24.

Besides Clint there are two girls who I would have liked to see NOT there and a few of both sexes I would like to hear more from.

Blessedly, the Obama girl is going back to the White House where she will presumably be able to offer tips on golf and basketball to our President while Libya explodes.

As for the overall production tonight, I wish we had seen more music and less walking down the runway of fate. I did like that they showed a clip of the contestants' final song before we heard the verdict but I don't see that they will have time to fit that in tomorrow.

And, FINALLY, the producers realized that Beatles songs are meant to be sung in a group and not solo (with the exception of Yesterday). I really enjoyed even the groups the judges thought were not so great (well except for crybaby Ashley...and we could have done without seeing her stupid wedding).

And finally again..I do not miss Simon in the least. I am loving these judges.

Karma Postscript

2011-02-17T00:03:00.000-06:00

I have since learned that Clint Jun Dung has a last name and it is Gamboa. Remember that name so you can cheer when he is voted off or sent packing, whichever comes first. He will always be Dung to me.

Also, I forgot to mention the *ewww* factor performance, which featured Lauren, Steven's 17 year old protegee, putting him on a chair so she can do a sexy dance around him along with the lemmings in her group. I have come to LOVE Steven Tyler but this was very uncomfortable. Set some boundaries Steven. I may be a prude but there is just something really unsettling about a 17 year old sexing it up for an over 50 guy. I wish they all had gone home. I do not like Lauren one little bit. Her *great idea* was not so great for the other girls in her group and I hope they realize they were used for her own personal drama of *see how much Steven LOVES MEEEEE*. She is approaching Tatiana Del Toro stature here.

Karma

2011-02-16T22:23:00.001-06:00

The worst part of Hollywood Week is over. I always dread the stress of this episode as it usually involves some innocent getting jerked around by one or more of their group members and being cut (IMO) too soon. In prior years, it seemed the judges didn't even want to know about the antics that caused some groups to tank before they even got started. Well...NOT THIS YEAR!

Jaycee Badeaux.is fast becoming someone I am rooting for. I don't even know whether he sings that well. I just like the way he handled the humiliation of being thrown out of his group by Clint Jun (last name not remembered but lets just call him Clint Jun Dung). Clint, an Elton John wannabe with his glasses, took charge of his group. He grudgingly allowed Scotty in (who no one wanted probably because he doesn't look very cool and he also has that baritone country voice that no one knew how to deal with) and then dumps Jaycee saying something about him not being able to hold a note. At least one girl in the group and Scotty look upset by this cruelty but they don't fight back against Clint Jun Dung and let Jaycee walk away. His mother, bless her heart, does not allow Jaycee to blubber and tells him to make the best of it. So, he finds a group that NEEDS him and even though he has never heard the song they take him in with open arms. Poignantly, this group includes Carrot Top, Brett Lowenstern, who has known his share of random senseless cruelty and even though Jaycee doesn't know the words in the performance, the judges know he has been screwed and send him and the whole nice group through. Jaycee doesn't even whine to the judges and acts like *oh it was no big deal* but the judges are NOT happy and by the time Clint Jun Dung and his group come on, they are welcomed about as warmly as a pile of fresh dung. Scotty shows remorse. Clint really does not and acts like it was all an *artistic* choice. Who are you kidding Dung? You just didn't want the fat kid in the group because he wasn't cool enough for you. Sadly, Dung goes through. The good thing about all this is that all of America was watching Dung act like dung and I don't think he is going to be a fan favorite if he manages to make it to the point where America votes.

The Minors is a group of kids whose mothers coach them through the choreography and singing and they do a nice job. One group is miffed that the stage mothers are giving the Minors an advantage. They should have kept to their own business because when they perform they stink except for the kid with the Faux Hawk, Jason.

Grizzly Adams, Cawy Abrams sings with an acapella group. They needed the music. Casey makes it through even though most of the rest of the group does not. Chris Medina's group is mediocre, but he makes it through. Evidently, his girlfriend's mother is also jumping on the fame bandwagon and has started a blog about her daughter's reaction to seeing herself on TV...she beat her head against the wall in anger. So, while Chris and her mother may want to flaunt her condition for fame, it appears that Julieanna wants no part of this spectacle.

My little friend Emily Ann is cut..we don't know why.

Then there is Three's Company. For some reason the sad sack guy cannot leave the two harpies he is tied to (one is his ex-girlfriend and he is still very bitter about the breakup) and then pouts and acts like a tool through the whole evening. *I don't wanna dance* *I cannot learn the song*. Go to another group jerk. He is cut. The girls are not, even though I thought they were not much better than he was in the performance.

Ashly cannot stop crying for anything. She almost quits and I wish she would have. Miraculously, after her prima donna antics and diva breakdown, her group welcomes her back and they do just fine.

And finally...my favorite part of tonights episode. Tiffani Rios, who still has not bathed, cannot find a group that wants her even though she goes up and belts out her fabulousness at every one of them. Tiffani honey, even an attractive girl would have a hard time winning friends after your display of arrogance in your solo audition (*I have been watching everyone fail at what I know I can do*). You are not attractive. And you really only yell not sing. Some poor dumb blonde feels sorry for her and leaves a perfectly good group to join Tiffani. They cannot find a third. JLo senses disaster and a disaster it is but Tiffani is not to be dismissed lightly. She argues. Good riddance! Still, poor dumb blonde may have suffered unjustly. Nope..she suffered because she was dumb enough to join up with a big loser.

Tomorrow we get the solos again, this time with instruments if people use them. Will have to tape it because I will be out of town visiting KK.

Every Body Comes to Hollywood!

2011-02-10T21:21:00.000-06:00

Season 10! Thanks Randy for correcting me. Double the contestants and double the talent! Well...double the contestants anyway. Out of the 327 most talented singers in America, we glimpsed about 30 tonight. The rest of the ones who survived the first two days evidently did not appeal to the producers or they didn't have a sad story. So, of the ones we saw, here is my brief assessment (basically I rated them on a *love them, hate them, or who cares* criteria.

IF in fact, Brett Lowenstern, aka Carrot Top, age 16 was the very first contestant to sing in Hollywood, then the Producers are diabolical. Take a kid who has been bullied his whole life, throw him into a pressure cooker where EVERYONE is listening to him and then make him the first to perform. Nice! Unfortunately for bullies everywhere, Brett came through with a rather nice rendition of Let It Be. I marginally care but not a whole lot.

Brett is followed by Rachel Zevita and Thea Medea or the duelling divas. You say Zediva, I say Mediva and I wish they would call the whole thing off. I HATE them both.

Casey the one who looks like a grizzly bear makes it through. I love him. He doesn't sing standard songs, he is sort of jazzy (hard for a big red-headed white man to be) and seems confident but not full of himself.

Then, out comes little Miss Muffet, Victoria Huggins, the self-proclaimed American Idol 2011. I hate her before she starts singing and am thrilled when she sounds like a cat in heat. So she has to pack her eleven suitcases (boy was she ready for the long haul in Hollywood) and go home to be the self-proclaimed North Carolina Idol. Sorry honey...but North Carolina doesn't want you back.

Victoria is followed by James Durbin with the faux hawk (HATE it..get him a stylist NOW), autisim and Tourette's syndrome (I would like to stop mentioning the last two facts but Idol won't stop so why should I?). If anyone should have crumpled under the pressure this kid should have. He does NOT! And while he is a heterosexual Adam Lambert imitator and thus not that unusual (except for the Tourettes and the autisim), I'm sort of loving him.

A Celine Dion wannabe named Paris sings *My Heart will go on*. Who cares?

Someone named Stormy didn't make it through. Who cares?

Steven Tyler's prodigy Lauren makes it through. I don't care, and I don't understand why Steven does as she is virtually indistinguishable from any other moderately talented woman I've ever seen on this show.

Ah...Danny Gokey's prodigy, Chris Medina is up next. Not only does he growly sing like Danny, he surpasses him in the *use your dead wife to get ahead* race. Except Julie is not dead and is not Chris's wife. He is pretty much leaving her in the dust to pursue his dream and won't look back unless he has to. But we should admire him for it because ...she inspires him. I hate him and thought he sounded awful and I think the judges did too but couldn't bear to cut him right away.

We see a series of contestants who cannot handle the pressure. Bye!

Then a trio of Jacee Badeaux, Robbie Rosen, and Holly Cavanaugh. You cannot really hate a 15 year old fat kid like Jacee and he does have a sweet pure voice but he is not the next Justin Bieber even IF they send him to fat camp (as a fat person I understand the limitations). Robbie Rosen is in the who cares category and Holly Cavanaugh seemed to impress Randy but I thought she was off-key. I don't think she is the next Carrie Underwood and once again...I don't care.

Steve Bagoon the CPA didn't make it. I'm not sure it was because of his voice. I think he just didn't look like a *star* to them but like a boring CPA so they said Be Gone.

Then the love stories. First Rob and Chelsea who are ex-lovers but auditioned together and made it through this round together. Who cares? Then the really embarassing thing when the two lovers, Nick and Jacklin, sing. Neither was that good but for some reason they just ditched Nick (Jacklin will be coming along shortly Nick..don't worry). Nick begs and pleads for one more chance and sings himself out of the auditorium and you just know Jacklin was thinking *you butthead...you are embarassing me and they will think I'm a butthead just like you..so give it up already!*. Prognosis for their relationship? It ends at LAX.

Scotty, the OTHER 17 year old from North Carolina sings. Jennifer is in love and so am I. John Wayne whats his name does not stand a chance in the country role next to this guy.

Jackee somebody who I obviously don't care about because I cannot even remember what she looks like.

Jerome Bell. Hated his audition I and hated it again tonight.

Finally, the Jersey Shore arrives. Poor Travis. Just not that good and his sob story didn't carry him through.

Then..the Snookie wannabe who put stars on her boobs when she auditioned and comes out and announces that no one knows how to sing but her. I hated her *Snookie* ways in New Jersey and I hate her even more now. This girl does not even look CLEAN! Take a bath lady! Jennifer was not impressed but evidently the men were still looking at her boobs as she made it through. I hope she fails.

At the very end we learn that the Obama girl made it through (boo) and that Emily Ann the girl with the funny voice did too. Good for Emily Ann. Hopefully Obama girl will go soon.

Of course, by this time next week, when the finalists are announced, most if not all of the above will be a dim memory.

I Left My Fart In San Francisco

2011-02-09T23:35:00.000-06:00

Sorry, I could NOT resist that title after the show opened with a weeping blonde who evidently farted in her audition and brought it to a speedy end. I wish they had shown her audition instead of that dufus in the car costume. I have often said about my least favorite contestants that they might as well have farted the song but this young lady evidently did! Newbomb Turk from the Hollywood Knights would be so proud!

But alas, she quickly went out of frame along with the pooping pigeons and we were introduced to Inessa from the Ukraine who presented herself as the most talented person in the universe. Inessa has to rank among the top 10 obnoxious candidates of all time. If she had actually been able to sing, I may have thrown up. Inessa the Messa. Look for her videos on YouTube, MySpace, or Facebook. She is evidently multi-talented and probably advertises on Craig's List as well...or did they shut down the hooker services on Craig's List?

There were about 8 candidates tonight that we saw only briefly. I barely remember them three hours after the show is over and I certainly won't remember them unless they do something remarkable in Hollywood.

At least 20 minutes had passed without a sob story, but Idol came through. The accident victim, Stefano, did a good Marvin Gaye imitation in Grapevine. One of the few I've seen audition who can actually sing that song on key.

The Karaoke guy surprised me because I thought he would be a joke audition. I thought he was kind of sweet but I don't recall much about his voice. Sadly, he has no sob story other than working in a Karaoke bar for three years so he will probably flame out in Hollywood.

Then the car guy rolled around the stage and didn't know the words to Born to Run. A complete waste of time unless he thought he was auditioning for some kiddie show. My grand nephew would have liked him. My sassy pants grand niece would have run far away from his crazy ass.

Next up, sob story 2, the girl from Columbia in the sparkly shoes and petticoat skirt. I actually liked her outfit. And her father. Her singing I thought was ho-hum.

Then, in order to make Steven Tyler (who we all know wouldn't hurt a fly) look mean, they showed him staring blankly at some joke contestants. Although I think Dave the Rocker really did kind of tick him off because Steven had high hopes for him and he stunk up the house (figuratively, unlike our title contestant).

Sob story 3...Emily Ann whose house burned down. I liked her voice. Sort of Billie Holliday old time record voice...but...she looks like she won't be able to handle pressure too well and this will probably be the last we see of her.

And finally...the sob story that just may be as compelling as the guy with the brain-damaged girlfriend...the autistic guy with Tourette's. You had to love this guy but you also had to hate his hair. WHY???? WHY??? is that rooster head hair all the rage? I hope he can handle Hollywood.

KK missed the show tonight as she was involved in her own not so little production of a son who weighed 8 lbs, 15 oz, was 21 inches long and looks like he's ready for some sort of defensive position on one of next year's superbowl teams. I hope she is resting because heaven knows she needs it. Come to think of it, I think that kid was born while AI was airing!

Tomorrow....Hollywood. I am already tense because I know there will be some villian who will trample on the competition and unjustly get ahead.

Cowboys and Misfits

2011-02-03T21:36:00.000-06:00

SO glad KK is back with her subtle take on AI Season 12. I missed the Nashville auditions because I thought AI broadcasted at 8 pm last Thursday and perhaps I missed the best of the audition shows as this week's talent was very sparse.

I didn't take notes when I watched last night and truly could only remember 3 contestants today. The infamous John Wayne Cowboy, the Cowboy with the sister, and the girl from Liverpool who puddled when she realized she screwed up *At Last*. Then they showed a clip of the last contestant last night. The curly haired guy who scatted. I don't remember his name but I would like to see more of him.

Clearly, AI producers flew into LA every joke contestant they came across in every city thus far. I'm not even going to comment on them except for Taneesha who has spent time with artistes (ar tist tuhs).

They only showed 4 people going through. Tim with the crush on JLo, The brothers who sang the duet (and it was good but they have to sing alone in Hollywood); and the MySpace queen Karen Rodriguez who wants to be the first Latina idol (she left me cold);

Thank the heavens that there is only one more audition night to sit through next week and then to Hollywood. I don't know how many people got a golden ticket but I'm guessing 300-400. I don't have a favorite yet, but like KK I have a nemesis and that is the Self-Important Blonde who works for Obama.

The blogging sites say that they have not yet decided the top 20 (or are in the process of doing so right now). Unlike previous years, the contestants went back home from Hollywood not knowing if they made it or not and were to come back in February for the final cut. The only one I am confident will be there is Chris Medina as how could they let that story go to waste? Also...it appears that Thea Madea (Magea) is a ringer which explains why the producers sent her to Milwaukee to audition. She probably didn't stand in line to see Danny Gokey and perhaps didn't even have to pay her own way there...so sadly we will be seeing a lot of her I expect.

I solemnly VOW not to get so crazy about a contestant this year as I was about Crystal Bowersox last year. First, all that obsessive voting took up way to much of my time. Second, it made me far to nice to be an effectively snarky blogger as I was *Crystalized* into sweetness and light.

And, we are all praying that KK's male child will sleep!

Hot Nemesis

2011-02-03T10:44:00.000-06:00

I truly do have 600 new, stressful things going on in my life right now. But my AI dedication is SO STRONG, that I can dedicate a few quick seconds to call out my Season 10 Nemesis. That's right, this soon. Even before Hollywood week.

***Disclaimer: You may remember 2 seasons ago when I was super pregnant, which often led to irrationally moody and harsh criticism of just about every. single. person. to appear on AI? For the next couple of weeks (or less, if I can help it) that pregnancy lunacy is back. So, I apologize in advance.***

Season 10 Nemesis: Hot Cowboy with Homophobic Father

"I've never left my ranch", "I love my Mama because she's a breast cancer survivor", "I'm the type of guy your parents want you to bring home", "shucks, aren't I sweet"

1st we meet the homophobic father who tells Ryan Seacrest "if you'd been my son, you wouldn't be the way you are".

What *way* is that? A bajillionaire? A super successful TV and radio host?

Oh, no, you meant "a man's man". Thank God you named your son John Wayne to guarantee he'd grow up to be manly. Because Heaven Forbid you'd have a son named John Wayne who liked to dress up in designer clothes, pay for expensive haircuts, and get spray tans.

(Why, yes, I am about to deliver a son. Anybody want to suggest some names that will make him sleep through the night immediately?)

I've been around the block enough times to pin-point this one from "meet my Homophobic dad, and my meek mother who doesn't speak out of turn, as I swagger into the room": Phony, Fake, Jerk

And, sure enough, I have some ammo:

www.tmz.com/2011/02/03/american-idol-cowboy-john-wayne-schulz-deception-record-label-cd-album/

He's hot though. Damn it.