And that title is not a double entendre...tonight was the night for the men to do their thing and for us to catch at least a glimpse of our next American Idol. Hint: His name is Paul Jolley. Just my prediction, mind you. But he's white, he has a guitar and he is in the top 40. Despite the fact that he has some decidedly feminine aspects, he is male enough to be pimped, hyped and badgered through by the producers.
Speaking of the producers...they just cannot quit rearranging the chairs on the deck of the ship that keeps jumping the shark and keeps on floating...so far. So they change Hollywood Week to have guy on guy and girl on girl competition and do away with self-selection for the group night. I must say it was nice to be spared the drama of the outcasts searching for a group then finding one and turning on each other. And thankfully there was very little drama with the exception of Frankie Ford's last hurrah *They will not deny me* (what a jerk he turned out to be, huh?).
The first guy up for the night was Micah with the speech impediment which may or may not be real. He did a nice job Then the skinny Skinner kid from Oklahoma City who should have stayed there. He was caffienated to the gills and evidently so were the producers who edited the first part of the show because they moved through the acapella portion so fast I could barely register the face of the person before they were off the stage. With the exception of the Whitney singer, Cortez Shaw, who evidently pissed Nicki off by daring to sing Whitney. I actually thought he was horrible too but didn't appreciate Nicki cutting off Mariah's comments. Hey Nicki...just because Mariah gets to say something doesn't mean you won't get your turn.
The only group that really impressed me was the Math heads even though it included that short guy Mateus who likes us to think he has had such a tough life even though this is his 2nd shot at reality singing show fame. The rest of the groups just sort of blend together. I'm glad Lazaro made it through but I'm not sure how long he will last. And I was glad to see the guy who is shaped like a bowling pin make it through despite being saddled with Frankie Ford's *I don't know anything about music but I'm not going to listen to a thing you have to tell me about it* snit fits. I don't know what possessed them to send through the entire B-Side group except Nicki is partial to headwear so she fell for the turban on the Turbinator and the guy with the curly hair and bandana. I guess we know by now that what Nicki wants, Nicki gets.
Favorites? None for me at this point. Tomorrow they sing their solos and I suspect this is when they will really bring out the brass band for Paul Jolley. You heard it here first. I want to be wrong about it, but I'm afraid I am right.
One good thing, we did not have to hear from Zoanetta tonight (hereinafter called Zoanada). Since she makes the top 40 they will have to feature her heavily during girl's week...I'm not looking forward to her rehabilitation by producer.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Don't Cry For Me Oklahoma
I'm already crying enough for myself. For wasting an hour watching the dreckest of the dreck audition shows. First of all I have to confess I really don't like Oklahoma. Oklahoma City is Topeka, Kansas writ large. Just ugliness everywhere you look. That boathouse they used for the auditions with the man made rowing lake was about the best you get in Oklahoma City. Everything else is ugly strip mall after ugly strip mall topped by street construction that does not end. I think Idol won't be back.
And, as if to magnify the horrid location, they choose tonight to treat us to bad performance after bad performance and I'm just talking about the ones they put through, not the unusually high number of joke extras who may not be in on the joke who graced our screens tonight.
First up is Karl Skinner from Joplin who is a skinny little guy with a lot of confidence. He does an awful version of James Brown's *I Feel Good* and I'm feeling not so good. Then they ask him to play his guitar and he sings an *original* song, which is a very bad song, badly. But, recognizing they are short on WGWGs, the judges put him through. I cannot help but wonder what the guy with the titanium leg is thinking now who was summarily rejected in the first audition show and who could sing this skinny Skinner guy under the table.
Then we get a montage of truly bad performers and I'm thinking *good..lets get them out of the way now*. I thought too soon.
The only bright moment comes next when the Asian ASL teacher sings Stevie Wonder. He is not anything that special but he is a nice guy so he goes through. I cannot recall his name so I cannot check my spoiler sources but I can pretty much bet you a million cyberdollars that he does not make the top 40.
Up next is Oscar and Hayley and I'm dying inside for both of them but mostly for Oscar as Hayley is the one who decided to bring him to this audition. She has a clear and pleasant but not spectacular voice but given everything else they have seen, the judges put her through (although I think reluctantly). She will be gone by the 2nd day of Hollywood. There is a place in show business for ventriloquists but an Idol audition is not one of them. Plus, you need to be very funny to do a good ventriloquist act no matter how skillful you are at the technique and Hayley is decidedly not all that funny..at least in a haha way.
So, now we see the reason for this blog entry title. A bunch of people crying because they made it, didn't make it, cannot believe they are meeting the judges, cannot believe they are on TV, cannot handle life in general, forgot to take their meds today...you name it. This motley group is topped off by Anastasia who I think really does believe she can sing and while a bit tearful, does display a level of confidence upon meeting the judges. Then she sings. And its ugly. And gets uglier. But we do learn why she has so much confidence. God called to her while she was writing in her journal saying *Idol* *Idol*. The production makes extra fun of her by doing a fake reenactment of her vocational call which was really pretty unnecessary. She already looked like enough of a fool to satisfy the viewers who are the type who create a traffic jam to gawk at car wrecks.
Idol has been looking for the next Justin Bieber since...well...Justin Bieber. They think they found him in a 16 year old who looks 13 and has a certain amount of swagger. Sadly he also has cystic fibrosis. And he has a weak little voice but thats ok because this is Oklahoma and we have enacted affirmative action for Oklahoma extras so he goes through.
The show ends with Steven Tyler in drag and I think *I miss him even when he acts like an ass*. He exits by either mooning the judges or farting in their faces and actually, I feel like the entire show has been one big fart in Idol viewer's faces tonight.
If you watched you will note that I am NOT talking about Leonetta, the Obama babe who treated us to the National Anthem in honor of his re-inauguration and followed this stellar performance by giving the judges several shots of her crotch. All I can say is WTF when she goes through... in honor of Obama's winning slogan of Winning the Future. Seriously I'm afraid for the future and Leonetta is not the only one mentioned in this paragraph who scares me. More scary...and really quite disgusting...is that this woman made the top 40 according to the spoilers. I guess its the year for WTF!
For those of you who think I was a little too hard on the short guy last night who sang A Change is Gonna Come and cried...turns out he was on a reality show called the Glee Project and came in 4th or 5th or something so this is NOT his first rodeo and he has definitely learned to milk his stature for sympathy and votes so my instincts about him were on target.
Ryan announces at the end that they found 44 people to send to Hollywood in Oklahoma City. Huh?
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
So Happy Together
For once we were spared judges drama tonight and the show really was about the extras auditioning in San Antonio and Long Beach. Before I begin tearing them to shreds (I'm in a cynical mood and its my blog and I'll trash them if I want to), I will address KK's point about the Minaj/Carey brawl. I agree with her that Nicki's point was correct...the judges shouldn't try to force extras into a mold. However, extras shouldn't be so dumb as to dismiss the genre of music one of the judges has made his own by suggesting it has no soul and is something she has moved on from to something better. I don't like the judges critiquing these extras on *not knowing what kind of artist you are going to be* instead of their performance of a particular song and Nicki is right not to buy into that. However, her tantrum and closing down production for the day because she was in the minority at that moment was unprofessional and childish. So...she made herself wrong when she could have been right.
Enough of the judges. On to the extras.
First up in San Antonio is retread Vincent Powell. I liked his glasses. I liked him teasing Randy about slurping his coke. I thought his voice was good but not phenomenal. I have doubts whether he will make the top 20 but reports are he makes it out of Hollywood week alive.
Second are the two brothers who sang I cannot remember what because all I was thinking of as they sang was their resemblance in movements and attitude to Steve Martin and Dan Ackroyd playing the *two wild and crazy* Czech brothers on Saturday Night Live many years ago. If you don't remember those segments, google them. They are still pretty funny. This duo raised *talking back to the judges* to a new level and I was glad to see them exit.
Savannah somebody is up next. She is the ubiquitous single mother who is doing this all for her kid. She certainly looked like the All-American mother in her low riders, sequined tube top, and bare belly. She does not have a belly which should be bared even at the beach. To top it off, she pinned her number on her leg so that she made crackly noises as she entered and when she sang it looked like it was covering her crotch like some modern merkin. She sings At Last. Not horribly but her belting will get old for me and I'm thinking she is going to be Hollywood fodder...after she bullies the people on group night.
Christobel is unusual in that she has a kid AND a husband. Go figure. She was wonderful and is about the only one I'm excited about so far. Sadly, she is 29 and that is the kiss of death. To top it off she is African American, female and doesn't have a guitar. Sadly, I think she will be fodder if she makes it to the live shows.
Randy goes to a Razorbacks game to surprise our next extra, Ann Defani who is a pretty pageant girl with a decent voice who sang a song about being more passionate with very little passion. Fodder. Looks like she has a nice husband and good life though so good for her.
Victoria Acosta is the Mariachi singer who cannot sing Fergie. I don't think she will be singing anything to live audiences except those lining the San Antonio River Walk.
Now I'm going to be blasphemous. Papa Peaches is one big phony baloney. First of all, the line about the big black woman trapped inside his body has been used by another extra in a prior year (I cannot recall his name but I recall him being equally annoying)*. Papa's voice was mediocre karaoke no matter how much he tried to make it sound like Paul Robeson singing Old Man River. Then, he is too good to do *covers* so he does some shitty song he made up so he could tell the world what everyone knew from the first time he spoke...he is a gay. Nicki, who is equally phony and relies on gimmicks instead of talent, loved him. Mariah looked like she didn't want to fight with Nicki again so gave a small yes and Randy finally gave in and said yes because heaven forbid production should be shut down for this jackhole if Nicki is thwarted. Yay for Keith for recognizing Papa Peaches (or is it Pechaz?) as a first class bs artist.
Oh crap...up next is a cute little 16 year old of the kind audiences lap up like sugared milk. Singing Michael Jackson...of course. I think his name is Sanja which is awful close to Sanjaya. I am sick of these children. Just bring on Honey Boo Boo and kill me now.
The last contestant was rather sad. Not because he had a terrible voice, he did not. But there is no way a guy who looks like him is going to make it very far in this competition which is not fair or just but it is the Idol way. Randy, Mariah, Keith and Nicki may not hold his shape and face against him but the producers surely will. Fodder.
We move on to Long Beach and the Queen Mary. So far we have been spared an overload of sad stories but in Long Beach we got a whole boatload of them (pun intended).
The first extra sings only to Randy and Keith and is quite pleasant to listen to, even if she has an odd name. For the record, Randy and Keith, it is Shuba Vedula and you have it written on the paper right in front of you so read it before acting like idiots. Who knows what nickname Nicki woud have bestowed on the extra had she not been off at a rehearsal making sure the autotune equipment was working properly. Mariah is late due to traffic and makes what I think was supposed to be a self-deprecating remark about her diva status but maybe not.
So, up next is a wounded Iraq veteran named Matt Farmer who thought he would be sterile due to brain trauma medicine but instead fathered a sweet little girl who he brings in with him for extra sympathy points. I wanted to really like him because he has done a great thing for our country but his voice was just ok and I was getting tired of being made to feel sorry for him. Don't get attached to him because according to the spoilers, he is not going to make it to the live shows.
Then some crazy woman named Stefani who obviously has no respect for American Idol comes on in order to scream at the judges and give them the finger. Nice. She said she didn't think Idol was ready for her look. I was going to comment on how NOT different she looked with her purple hair and black nailpolish as every other wannabe has adopted that look but its sort of a waste of time now.
Crap..Nikki is done adjusting the autotune and joins the group. Ironically, the fire alarm goes off and they must leave although Mariah is the only one of the judges who has the common sense to know that the siren means move your butt to the exit folks and Nicki looks at her like she is being a big baby about it all. Poor Josiah, the extra, is sort of lost in all of it. But, when they return, this 16 year old girl does sing a rather nice song and is put through.
Micah Johnson is a victim of medical malpractice so I hope when he does not become the next American Idol he gets a good settlement from the surgeon who damaged his nerve and gave him a speech impediment. If he doesn't already have a lawyer, he will after tonight as the ambulance chasers will be calling him by the hundreds to take his case...which has a lot of merit. I like this guy despite his sob story. He is very positive and can sing too. There are some who believe he is faking this speech impediment thing to get sympathy (see the VoteForTheWorst blog). I'm not going to go that far but I won't rule it out either.
Up next is Rachel Hale who drank some of Honey Boo Boo's go go juice (it must be a Southern thing) she is so happy. Wisely, she loves country music and while she thinks she might cross over, country is her *wheelhouse* and she's stickin' to it. Keith is smitten and she does have a good country voice. I'm not going to trash her because she is happy and nice. Someone has got to be and your blogger is decidely NOT nice tonight and is finding it hard to be happy as her family members are misbehaving.
Plant Alert! Brianna Oakley is another protegee along the lines of David Archuleta and Jessica Sanchez who has already appeared on one televised talent show. Sadly, she was bullied about it when she went back to school. Being bullied is the latest fad. I don't know about you but being bullied for having a lot of talent is not right up there with being bullied for being fat, ugly, poor, crippled, or deformed on my Queen For A Day sympathy meter. She is Jessica Sanchez redux and sings with the same level of emotion as our good friend Jessica always did.
The final extra also has a sad story. He is very short. In addition he cries easily. He sings A Change Is Gonna Come and makes the song about him and inserts the judge's name as he makes his pitch. At that point my give a hoot meter plummeted. Is it terribly bitchy of me to find it offensive that he equates his life of being short (and bullied of course) with the struggles of those in the Civil Rights Movement? Its not like he braved Bull Connor's fire hoses or anything.
And, of course you all are hoping I'll be in a kinder mood tomorrow night. Hope springs eternal!
*PS..according to the guys at Vote For The Worst the extra who used the *I'm a big black woman trapped inside of a white man's body* line was none other than one of our favorites, Danny Gokey! Thank goodness Papa doesn't have a dead wife or he might last a long time in this competition.
Oh crap...up next is a cute little 16 year old of the kind audiences lap up like sugared milk. Singing Michael Jackson...of course. I think his name is Sanja which is awful close to Sanjaya. I am sick of these children. Just bring on Honey Boo Boo and kill me now.
The last contestant was rather sad. Not because he had a terrible voice, he did not. But there is no way a guy who looks like him is going to make it very far in this competition which is not fair or just but it is the Idol way. Randy, Mariah, Keith and Nicki may not hold his shape and face against him but the producers surely will. Fodder.
We move on to Long Beach and the Queen Mary. So far we have been spared an overload of sad stories but in Long Beach we got a whole boatload of them (pun intended).
The first extra sings only to Randy and Keith and is quite pleasant to listen to, even if she has an odd name. For the record, Randy and Keith, it is Shuba Vedula and you have it written on the paper right in front of you so read it before acting like idiots. Who knows what nickname Nicki woud have bestowed on the extra had she not been off at a rehearsal making sure the autotune equipment was working properly. Mariah is late due to traffic and makes what I think was supposed to be a self-deprecating remark about her diva status but maybe not.
So, up next is a wounded Iraq veteran named Matt Farmer who thought he would be sterile due to brain trauma medicine but instead fathered a sweet little girl who he brings in with him for extra sympathy points. I wanted to really like him because he has done a great thing for our country but his voice was just ok and I was getting tired of being made to feel sorry for him. Don't get attached to him because according to the spoilers, he is not going to make it to the live shows.
Then some crazy woman named Stefani who obviously has no respect for American Idol comes on in order to scream at the judges and give them the finger. Nice. She said she didn't think Idol was ready for her look. I was going to comment on how NOT different she looked with her purple hair and black nailpolish as every other wannabe has adopted that look but its sort of a waste of time now.
Crap..Nikki is done adjusting the autotune and joins the group. Ironically, the fire alarm goes off and they must leave although Mariah is the only one of the judges who has the common sense to know that the siren means move your butt to the exit folks and Nicki looks at her like she is being a big baby about it all. Poor Josiah, the extra, is sort of lost in all of it. But, when they return, this 16 year old girl does sing a rather nice song and is put through.
Micah Johnson is a victim of medical malpractice so I hope when he does not become the next American Idol he gets a good settlement from the surgeon who damaged his nerve and gave him a speech impediment. If he doesn't already have a lawyer, he will after tonight as the ambulance chasers will be calling him by the hundreds to take his case...which has a lot of merit. I like this guy despite his sob story. He is very positive and can sing too. There are some who believe he is faking this speech impediment thing to get sympathy (see the VoteForTheWorst blog). I'm not going to go that far but I won't rule it out either.
Up next is Rachel Hale who drank some of Honey Boo Boo's go go juice (it must be a Southern thing) she is so happy. Wisely, she loves country music and while she thinks she might cross over, country is her *wheelhouse* and she's stickin' to it. Keith is smitten and she does have a good country voice. I'm not going to trash her because she is happy and nice. Someone has got to be and your blogger is decidely NOT nice tonight and is finding it hard to be happy as her family members are misbehaving.
Plant Alert! Brianna Oakley is another protegee along the lines of David Archuleta and Jessica Sanchez who has already appeared on one televised talent show. Sadly, she was bullied about it when she went back to school. Being bullied is the latest fad. I don't know about you but being bullied for having a lot of talent is not right up there with being bullied for being fat, ugly, poor, crippled, or deformed on my Queen For A Day sympathy meter. She is Jessica Sanchez redux and sings with the same level of emotion as our good friend Jessica always did.
The final extra also has a sad story. He is very short. In addition he cries easily. He sings A Change Is Gonna Come and makes the song about him and inserts the judge's name as he makes his pitch. At that point my give a hoot meter plummeted. Is it terribly bitchy of me to find it offensive that he equates his life of being short (and bullied of course) with the struggles of those in the Civil Rights Movement? Its not like he braved Bull Connor's fire hoses or anything.
And, of course you all are hoping I'll be in a kinder mood tomorrow night. Hope springs eternal!
*PS..according to the guys at Vote For The Worst the extra who used the *I'm a big black woman trapped inside of a white man's body* line was none other than one of our favorites, Danny Gokey! Thank goodness Papa doesn't have a dead wife or he might last a long time in this competition.
One unjaded judge - Nicky was right
I'm so far behind on my AI watching that I just, last night, watched "the brawl" between Nicky and Mariah.
Nicky was right.
Randy and Mariah (and, to a lesser extent, Keith) WERE bullying that contestant into embracing the country genre when she'd clearly just said she'd "done" country and wanted to be more soulful.
You're at an AI audition.
Judge: What kind of music do you do? You have to pick a genre. What kind of artist are you? You must know.
You: Soul
Judge: But, you have a twang. You sound country. Why don't you sing country? You like country, don't you? Because this judge is a country star and you don't want to insult him. You grew up with country, right?
You, because all you want is 3 "yes"es: Uh, sure
I will consider this further proof of AI's typecasting. It's become the Real World of Prime Time Network TV.
Here's the cute little blonde with a bit of a yodel to her voice. And they haven't found the token country girl yet this season.
Ms. Minaj was 100% right.
Nicky was right.
Randy and Mariah (and, to a lesser extent, Keith) WERE bullying that contestant into embracing the country genre when she'd clearly just said she'd "done" country and wanted to be more soulful.
You're at an AI audition.
Judge: What kind of music do you do? You have to pick a genre. What kind of artist are you? You must know.
You: Soul
Judge: But, you have a twang. You sound country. Why don't you sing country? You like country, don't you? Because this judge is a country star and you don't want to insult him. You grew up with country, right?
You, because all you want is 3 "yes"es: Uh, sure
I will consider this further proof of AI's typecasting. It's become the Real World of Prime Time Network TV.
Here's the cute little blonde with a bit of a yodel to her voice. And they haven't found the token country girl yet this season.
Ms. Minaj was 100% right.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Yo Dawg, I'm Home!
For any of you who have had the pleasure of visiting New Orleans or any other part of Louisiana, it is truly like another country. A good country, but another one nonetheless. So, it was fun to see the little bits of country they deigned to show us tonight and I was especially happy to see that Cafe Du Monde looks like I remember it from before Katrina. Best coffee and beignets in the world. I would go back to New Orleans just to have coffee and beignets there, turn around and come back home if it didn't involve getting on a plane.
Not too much drama with the judges tonight. I did notice that whenever Mariah spoke, Nicki rolled her eyes and pouted. And just google anything connected with Idol and you see links to various interviews of Nicki and Mariah about the *feud*. Enough already. I'm going to talk about the extras.
First up was pageant girl, Megan Miller, coming straight from the hospital on crutches to audition despite an infection which she said was not *life threatening* and something about *whats a leg when my whole career is at stake*. She should probably talk to the extra with the titanium leg who was rejected about how important a leg is before she so cavalierly dismisses a limb and I guess she has never heard of sepsis and Jim Henson, not to mention gangrene. I thought she was average but she did have a sense of humor with the crutch as microphone trick. But all's well that ends well and she got her golden ticket to take to surgery with her (but not Keith Urban) and she is now in good health.
Then we get Charlie Askew. I must admit I have a special affinity for boys named Charlie. I don't know if the *Charlie Askew Syndrome* was a real diagnosis or just gave a shy sort of nerdy boy a good story to take into the judges but he was a polite kid with a good voice. Spoiler alert: I believe he makes it to the top 40.
Next up is one of the nominees, Maddie, and we get to see her singing at Cafe Du Monde before Randy sweeps her off to glory in Baton Rouge. Grandma was a hoot with her magic dust and beads. Keith says she definitely has a style and I think her style is grabbing tricks from everyone she hears and putting it all in one song which made her sound a little...well...disjointed. The key thing with these judges seems to be *tone* and I'm going to say when she wasn't doing runs and growls and random loud notes she seemed to have a good tone. Spoiler alert: I don't think grandma's magic dust gets her into the top 40.
And just when we thought this season was going to be different, we get Paul Jolley...who will be our WGWG (for new readers or those who have forgotten...White Guy With Guitar) this year. No, he didn't bring a guitar in the audition but I bet he has one (or if he didn't, he went right out and bought one so he could learn to strum a few chords). I really have a problem with people who think that by becoming a big star they will be *giving something back* by sharing their talent with the world. No, they are taking fame and money and all that comes with it and having the time of their life doing something they love...that is not giving back that is being talented (some of them) and lucky. He is the first extra who is getting on my nerves...I do not like him even if his grandfather died. Mine did too and I'm not telling people I'm giving something back by sharing my talent (or lack thereof) by writing this blog. I'm doing it purely for my own pleasure and satisfaction and I don't care if anyone likes it or not. Unfortunately, I believe we will be seeing lots and lots and lots of Paul Jolley (*sticks finger down throat to mimic vomiting*).
Then we have 2 contestants who actually are doing something for humanity. The physician and the firefighter. I did not catch their names but maybe you did. I don't think we will see much of them in the future as they were both just OK. But they are *giving back*.
Finally, the star of the night, Burnell Taylor who will be pimped and pimped and pimped all the way to the top 3 (you heard it here first) where he will be trounced by a WGWG and some little girl we haven't met yet. I thought he had a good voice but I don't know if it deserved a standing ovation. I suppose the Katrina story gave his audition some extra *oomph*. Cynical me. I wonder if he was really in Katrina or if he just borrowed some photos from the Katrina victim archives.
Not too much drama with the judges tonight. I did notice that whenever Mariah spoke, Nicki rolled her eyes and pouted. And just google anything connected with Idol and you see links to various interviews of Nicki and Mariah about the *feud*. Enough already. I'm going to talk about the extras.
First up was pageant girl, Megan Miller, coming straight from the hospital on crutches to audition despite an infection which she said was not *life threatening* and something about *whats a leg when my whole career is at stake*. She should probably talk to the extra with the titanium leg who was rejected about how important a leg is before she so cavalierly dismisses a limb and I guess she has never heard of sepsis and Jim Henson, not to mention gangrene. I thought she was average but she did have a sense of humor with the crutch as microphone trick. But all's well that ends well and she got her golden ticket to take to surgery with her (but not Keith Urban) and she is now in good health.
Then we get Charlie Askew. I must admit I have a special affinity for boys named Charlie. I don't know if the *Charlie Askew Syndrome* was a real diagnosis or just gave a shy sort of nerdy boy a good story to take into the judges but he was a polite kid with a good voice. Spoiler alert: I believe he makes it to the top 40.
Next up is one of the nominees, Maddie, and we get to see her singing at Cafe Du Monde before Randy sweeps her off to glory in Baton Rouge. Grandma was a hoot with her magic dust and beads. Keith says she definitely has a style and I think her style is grabbing tricks from everyone she hears and putting it all in one song which made her sound a little...well...disjointed. The key thing with these judges seems to be *tone* and I'm going to say when she wasn't doing runs and growls and random loud notes she seemed to have a good tone. Spoiler alert: I don't think grandma's magic dust gets her into the top 40.
And just when we thought this season was going to be different, we get Paul Jolley...who will be our WGWG (for new readers or those who have forgotten...White Guy With Guitar) this year. No, he didn't bring a guitar in the audition but I bet he has one (or if he didn't, he went right out and bought one so he could learn to strum a few chords). I really have a problem with people who think that by becoming a big star they will be *giving something back* by sharing their talent with the world. No, they are taking fame and money and all that comes with it and having the time of their life doing something they love...that is not giving back that is being talented (some of them) and lucky. He is the first extra who is getting on my nerves...I do not like him even if his grandfather died. Mine did too and I'm not telling people I'm giving something back by sharing my talent (or lack thereof) by writing this blog. I'm doing it purely for my own pleasure and satisfaction and I don't care if anyone likes it or not. Unfortunately, I believe we will be seeing lots and lots and lots of Paul Jolley (*sticks finger down throat to mimic vomiting*).
Then we have 2 contestants who actually are doing something for humanity. The physician and the firefighter. I did not catch their names but maybe you did. I don't think we will see much of them in the future as they were both just OK. But they are *giving back*.
Finally, the star of the night, Burnell Taylor who will be pimped and pimped and pimped all the way to the top 3 (you heard it here first) where he will be trounced by a WGWG and some little girl we haven't met yet. I thought he had a good voice but I don't know if it deserved a standing ovation. I suppose the Katrina story gave his audition some extra *oomph*. Cynical me. I wonder if he was really in Katrina or if he just borrowed some photos from the Katrina victim archives.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Nicki Minaj, You Are No Billie Holliday
Well, now we know what the fuss was all about. The question is, do we care? All I can say about Nicki (as one of my old clients used to say when trying to explain why someone who was a terrible worker still had their job): *She must have pictures*. Nothing else can explain the obvious pandering and coddling of this no-talent derivative of Madonna via Gaga except abject fear that she will release some embarassing photos of Nigel Lythgoe or Simon Fuller. Perhaps that explains how she got the job in the first place. And if Mariah Carey is putting up with it...I guess if you paid me 18 million dollars I could take the high road too.
But does Nicki have to introduce every contestant? Do we have to see a menage of M(e)naj's greatest nicknames just after she shut down production (and upset all the extras waiting to audition) because Randy pointed out he has been in the business 30 years compared to her 30 minutes? Thats like giving a 3 year old who just threw a tantrum some candy. Just how terrible could those pictures be? The real problem with the audition that started it all was that Summer, the extra, hit a nerve with Keith Urban and the conversation turned to country music and away from Nicki.
Ok..rant over. But fair warning...this show is getting harder and harder for me to care about. When I seriously considered watching Wife Swap instead...you know where I stand.
All of that said, I did think some of the extras showed some promise tonight. I thought Summer was average, to tell you the truth and not worth all the drama but the follow up country girl, Janela O. Arthur, who played a young Dolly Parton when she was a child, might do well in Hollywood. I also like Candace Glover (although she might get old to me if she keeps doing Josh Ledet) and felt bad that Randy clearly didn't remember her from last season...asking...*where have you been?*. She showed a lot of restraint not to say *cursing out you, Steven and Jennifer for cutting me last season Randy*. The frog-giggin girl from Clover was interesting and had a clear pure voice I thought. Also, Brandy Alexandria, the girl who had to go in first after Nicki's hissy-fit, was rather sweet and I would like to hear more of her. The one who surprised me and at the same time irritated the heck out of me was Ashley (aka *Blondie*) who looked like a poor man's version of Nicki M(e)naj. Someone needs to tell her that shtick has been done and done and done. To Blondie's credit, however, she probably sings better than Nicki who I believe relies very heavily on auto-tune when she isn't rapping (and maybe when she is).
The interesting thing about the auditions so far, is that most of the promising extras are women. Either they are not showing the men who have talent or there are not that many of them. The Voice of Charlotte may do well and he certainly has an appealing story. But I am not giving up on the men. There WILL be a WGWG who emerges sooner or later as a front runner and all these promising women will be left to languish with Haley and Crystal, and Elise, and all the rest of the talented women who got pushed aside in past seasons so some guy can sing Hallelujah in the finale and never be heard from again.
And, I loved Mariah's homage to Billie Holliday who is one of my all time favorite singers ever in the world. Keith, you need to get with the program and get to know Billie.
But does Nicki have to introduce every contestant? Do we have to see a menage of M(e)naj's greatest nicknames just after she shut down production (and upset all the extras waiting to audition) because Randy pointed out he has been in the business 30 years compared to her 30 minutes? Thats like giving a 3 year old who just threw a tantrum some candy. Just how terrible could those pictures be? The real problem with the audition that started it all was that Summer, the extra, hit a nerve with Keith Urban and the conversation turned to country music and away from Nicki.
Ok..rant over. But fair warning...this show is getting harder and harder for me to care about. When I seriously considered watching Wife Swap instead...you know where I stand.
All of that said, I did think some of the extras showed some promise tonight. I thought Summer was average, to tell you the truth and not worth all the drama but the follow up country girl, Janela O. Arthur, who played a young Dolly Parton when she was a child, might do well in Hollywood. I also like Candace Glover (although she might get old to me if she keeps doing Josh Ledet) and felt bad that Randy clearly didn't remember her from last season...asking...*where have you been?*. She showed a lot of restraint not to say *cursing out you, Steven and Jennifer for cutting me last season Randy*. The frog-giggin girl from Clover was interesting and had a clear pure voice I thought. Also, Brandy Alexandria, the girl who had to go in first after Nicki's hissy-fit, was rather sweet and I would like to hear more of her. The one who surprised me and at the same time irritated the heck out of me was Ashley (aka *Blondie*) who looked like a poor man's version of Nicki M(e)naj. Someone needs to tell her that shtick has been done and done and done. To Blondie's credit, however, she probably sings better than Nicki who I believe relies very heavily on auto-tune when she isn't rapping (and maybe when she is).
The interesting thing about the auditions so far, is that most of the promising extras are women. Either they are not showing the men who have talent or there are not that many of them. The Voice of Charlotte may do well and he certainly has an appealing story. But I am not giving up on the men. There WILL be a WGWG who emerges sooner or later as a front runner and all these promising women will be left to languish with Haley and Crystal, and Elise, and all the rest of the talented women who got pushed aside in past seasons so some guy can sing Hallelujah in the finale and never be heard from again.
And, I loved Mariah's homage to Billie Holliday who is one of my all time favorite singers ever in the world. Keith, you need to get with the program and get to know Billie.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Can We Vote Nicki Minaj off of Idol?
I may eat my words, but I do not think that any extra they put on this season will bring me to the level of annoyance, disgust, and *will she just go away I cannot stand to hear or look at her anymore* that I am feeling after only 2 nights of watching Nicki (Its All About Me)naj on the judging panel. Judging from posts by die-hard idol fans, like me, on the *official* American Idol forum boards, I am not alone...in fact...I think the feeling is virtually unanimous...that Nicki is a pain in the ass of the first order and we want her to go.
As I said in my earlier post, Nicki's antics and the bickering with Mariah have relegated the contestants to mere extras in this broadcast. Having male extras take off clothes, preen, and ask if they are dating and fake flirting with them was not only unprofessional but unseemly and unfair to them. That poor young woman whose last name was Bush...I'm not even going to go there.... except to say that she (the extra) looked genuinely shocked and distressed and humiliated when she left and that was not a pleasant thing to see.
As for the extras tonight, there were several who I would like to see again. First is Kezban...I didn't know if she was a man or a woman when she first went on the screen but I loved her attitude *if this is going to be a blooper, don't make my mom cry*. Given the build up I expected a blooper and then she sang and I was mesmerized but then I'm a sucker for women singer songwriters because those are the voices of my generation. I'm pretty sure her independent ways will not sit well with the producers so I expect we won't see much of her again but I thought she was fabulous! Second is Brandy Neely who sang *Your Cheatin' Heart*. Now that is a country voice unlike that Lauren girl who came in second 2 years ago, auditioned with a pop song but decided she was a country singer when she saw Scotty getting all the votes . Then of course, there is Lazaro. As they were doing the build up I thought *I'm not gonna get tears in my eyes, Ryan...you cannot make me...you cannot make me.* And then Lazaro sings Bridge Over Troubled Water and my eyes start needing a bridge because I'm crying. I'm pretty sure he will be JayCeed on group night in Hollywood. (If you recall, Jay Cee was the 14 or 15 year old kid who was on a couple of years ago who no one wanted in their group).
I guess next week we get to see the royal hissy fit thrown by Miss ME(naj). I'm not sure I can bear to watch it.
As I said in my earlier post, Nicki's antics and the bickering with Mariah have relegated the contestants to mere extras in this broadcast. Having male extras take off clothes, preen, and ask if they are dating and fake flirting with them was not only unprofessional but unseemly and unfair to them. That poor young woman whose last name was Bush...I'm not even going to go there.... except to say that she (the extra) looked genuinely shocked and distressed and humiliated when she left and that was not a pleasant thing to see.
As for the extras tonight, there were several who I would like to see again. First is Kezban...I didn't know if she was a man or a woman when she first went on the screen but I loved her attitude *if this is going to be a blooper, don't make my mom cry*. Given the build up I expected a blooper and then she sang and I was mesmerized but then I'm a sucker for women singer songwriters because those are the voices of my generation. I'm pretty sure her independent ways will not sit well with the producers so I expect we won't see much of her again but I thought she was fabulous! Second is Brandy Neely who sang *Your Cheatin' Heart*. Now that is a country voice unlike that Lauren girl who came in second 2 years ago, auditioned with a pop song but decided she was a country singer when she saw Scotty getting all the votes . Then of course, there is Lazaro. As they were doing the build up I thought *I'm not gonna get tears in my eyes, Ryan...you cannot make me...you cannot make me.* And then Lazaro sings Bridge Over Troubled Water and my eyes start needing a bridge because I'm crying. I'm pretty sure he will be JayCeed on group night in Hollywood. (If you recall, Jay Cee was the 14 or 15 year old kid who was on a couple of years ago who no one wanted in their group).
I guess next week we get to see the royal hissy fit thrown by Miss ME(naj). I'm not sure I can bear to watch it.
Urban for the WIN
I'm not really going to comment on the contestants because I there just wasn't anything worth commenting on.
Who they put through, they put through. Who they didn't put through, they didn't. I didn't feel strongly about anybody either way.
Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey's "feud" wrapped up nicely as they all sang Kumbaya together by the end of the hour. But mark my words: the producers will milk that all. season. long.
The winner of the night: Keith Urban! He's funny, no?
Who they put through, they put through. Who they didn't put through, they didn't. I didn't feel strongly about anybody either way.
Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey's "feud" wrapped up nicely as they all sang Kumbaya together by the end of the hour. But mark my words: the producers will milk that all. season. long.
The winner of the night: Keith Urban! He's funny, no?
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Is All About Me, Me, Me, Me
Forget about you, you, you, you and you too number 589481.
The show opens with poor Philip Phillips...who I guess had a hit song although I have not heard it but then I don't listen to the radio much. He still is making funny faces. Then the producers trot out the success story that is American Idol (i.e. the 5 or so people on the show who have actually made a name for themselves) in order to contrast it with the Voice and the X Factor and those other shows that are cutting into their demographic and making people bored senseless with the whole concept. It is so obvious that its all about Nygel Lythgoe v. Simon Cowell. Then the judges are introduced as if they are the 2nd coming of the Beatles or something (even Randy)...and its pretty clear that Idol is super pleased with itself for grabbing this group of mega-stars (??) as compared with poor crazy Britney Spears and over the hill Simon. A good 5-10 minutes pass while Idol praises itself and its wisdom in choosing these new judges. And as we go to break we get a glimpse of the point of this whole season: Mariah Carey v. Nikki Menage.
I was prepared to be on Mariah's side as Nikki Menage strikes me as a Lady Gaga wannabe and although I've only seen her perform once, I'm pretty skeptical of her talent for anything but self-promotion and strange outfits and hair. And, I have to say that Nikki was grabbing the spotlight every moment she could tonight. You could see Mariah seething *its supposed to be about ME*. But then Mariah would get in a snide little comment or give her a mean girl look and I'm thinking...they deserve each other and I don't care who wins this catfight.
As an afterthought, the producers brought out some extras so that the judges could show off some more. When Mariah, Randy, and Nikki, finally shut up, we even heard the extras sing a few bars before we got back to the REAL show.
None of the extras (excuse me...contestants) we saw tonight, is, in my opinion, going to be our next American Idol. They threw out the only white guy with a guitar even though he had a compelling back story of being a tap dancer who lost a leg to cancer. I thought his Jason Mraz number was pretty mediocre but when he started singing with his guitar I thought he was as good as Phillip Phillips or that paint salesman named Lee whose last name I cannot now recall and who is presumably back at Sherwin Williams mixing paint by computer...or should be.
There were a couple of women who I thought were fine but they all seemed too nice to actually make it past Hollywood week. The blonde girl who lost a lot of weight is a belter and I will see how she wears on me if we ever hear her again. The hearing impaired girl was, I think payback for the guy with one leg as she was OK but didn't move me. The girl who went to Mariah camp may do pretty well in the competition because she certainly has the drive but why did she show up in her cut offs? Sarah from the farm was cute but not that great either. The poor girl from Israel won't make it far because she is from a politically incorrect country. The final extra, the girl with the big family of foster kis, seems like a real sweetheart but....
Did anyone else think that all the extras were trying to imitate Mariah's style with the melisma and running up and down the scales? Or is it just me being sick of that style and hearing it everywhere even if its not there?
As for the men, the only one who made it through that I can remember now is Frankie Ford from Flatbush who seems like a fine young man.
The poor joke contestants once again did not seem to be in on the joke except for the guy in the plastic suit that made fart sounds when he walked and thrust at Nikki. I did laugh when in a following segment showing all the bad contestants one poor guy actually did fart in the middle of his song giving new meaning to one of my favorite expressions: *He's farting the song*. The poor girl who only sang for her parents was very surprised to be rejected which suggests that she really was telling the truth about no one else hearing her sing before or she surely would not have subjected the whole world to her voice.
But, really, as the preview for tomorrow's show demonstrated... this season is all about the judges. It is going to be one long season as the catfight is already growing irksome. I liked Keith Urban until he said *I don't know what kind of artist you are going to be* and I thought...lose that line fast buddy...it makes you sound as lame as Randy.
The show opens with poor Philip Phillips...who I guess had a hit song although I have not heard it but then I don't listen to the radio much. He still is making funny faces. Then the producers trot out the success story that is American Idol (i.e. the 5 or so people on the show who have actually made a name for themselves) in order to contrast it with the Voice and the X Factor and those other shows that are cutting into their demographic and making people bored senseless with the whole concept. It is so obvious that its all about Nygel Lythgoe v. Simon Cowell. Then the judges are introduced as if they are the 2nd coming of the Beatles or something (even Randy)...and its pretty clear that Idol is super pleased with itself for grabbing this group of mega-stars (??) as compared with poor crazy Britney Spears and over the hill Simon. A good 5-10 minutes pass while Idol praises itself and its wisdom in choosing these new judges. And as we go to break we get a glimpse of the point of this whole season: Mariah Carey v. Nikki Menage.
As an afterthought, the producers brought out some extras so that the judges could show off some more. When Mariah, Randy, and Nikki, finally shut up, we even heard the extras sing a few bars before we got back to the REAL show.
None of the extras (excuse me...contestants) we saw tonight, is, in my opinion, going to be our next American Idol. They threw out the only white guy with a guitar even though he had a compelling back story of being a tap dancer who lost a leg to cancer. I thought his Jason Mraz number was pretty mediocre but when he started singing with his guitar I thought he was as good as Phillip Phillips or that paint salesman named Lee whose last name I cannot now recall and who is presumably back at Sherwin Williams mixing paint by computer...or should be.
There were a couple of women who I thought were fine but they all seemed too nice to actually make it past Hollywood week. The blonde girl who lost a lot of weight is a belter and I will see how she wears on me if we ever hear her again. The hearing impaired girl was, I think payback for the guy with one leg as she was OK but didn't move me. The girl who went to Mariah camp may do pretty well in the competition because she certainly has the drive but why did she show up in her cut offs? Sarah from the farm was cute but not that great either. The poor girl from Israel won't make it far because she is from a politically incorrect country. The final extra, the girl with the big family of foster kis, seems like a real sweetheart but....
Did anyone else think that all the extras were trying to imitate Mariah's style with the melisma and running up and down the scales? Or is it just me being sick of that style and hearing it everywhere even if its not there?
As for the men, the only one who made it through that I can remember now is Frankie Ford from Flatbush who seems like a fine young man.
The poor joke contestants once again did not seem to be in on the joke except for the guy in the plastic suit that made fart sounds when he walked and thrust at Nikki. I did laugh when in a following segment showing all the bad contestants one poor guy actually did fart in the middle of his song giving new meaning to one of my favorite expressions: *He's farting the song*. The poor girl who only sang for her parents was very surprised to be rejected which suggests that she really was telling the truth about no one else hearing her sing before or she surely would not have subjected the whole world to her voice.
But, really, as the preview for tomorrow's show demonstrated... this season is all about the judges. It is going to be one long season as the catfight is already growing irksome. I liked Keith Urban until he said *I don't know what kind of artist you are going to be* and I thought...lose that line fast buddy...it makes you sound as lame as Randy.
Ditto
Could not have done a better preview of this season than the one written by KK and agree completely with her...except I don't think Nikki Menage has talent!
Ready. Set. Go? Maybe?
Recap for those who live under rocks:
JLo -Out
Steven Tyler -Out
Mariah Carey -In
Nicki Minaj -In
Keith Urban - In
Randy - Desperately grasping to the only career move he has left
Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj hate each other and are feuding. Allegedly, Mariah was told by AI producers that she'd be the only female judge, and in came Nicki.
Let me do a quick tirade now, and I promise I'll try not to do it again:
As I get older (and as my daughter gets older) I fancy myself more and more of a feminist. I've blogged here before about how AI has been shameless about promoting male competitors (women pay homage to recently deceased Whitney Houston while boys are handed a lob-ball covering Stevie Wonder), judges openly fawn over males and don't hold back on critiques of females, and a the last female to win this show was Jordan Sparks in 2007. Two thousand and SEVEN, people.
Auntee and I both called the White Guy With Guitar as the ultimate winner on Day 1, just like the season before and the season before. And yes, I do blame the tween girls and their pink cell phones voting for the boy they want to take to prom. But I also blame the show, generally, for purposely throwing a semi-talented heartthrob in the spotlight every single season, just TO garner those tween votes.
I digress ...
Know what this show needs? A good cat fight. Let's throw in two strong, talented, beautiful African American women and hope they go after each other.
Let's be as stereotypical as possible - fat shaming? check. digs on career? check. liberal use of the word "diva"? check.
All we're missing is the weave pulling and the boyfriend stealing.
Can there be just ONE season where Girls Rule? Where 2 female judges conspire to BUILD UP the female contestants, instead of to tear each other down? Where they agree to work together to help a young girl start her career, because, you know, that's what they ultimately signed on for?
As for the contestants: Can we, maybe, have a girl with a guitar? Maybe even an African American girl with a guitar?
I'm setting myself up for heartbreak, aren't I? We'll see, I guess, starting tonight.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Disappointment to End All Disappointment
I wasn't going to watch AI's finale ...
I wasn't going to blog anymore this year ...
But I did, and now I am. Because I'm sad.
It's well established that this was a bummer of a season as a whole. Auntee and I didn't have any clear favorites, or any real nemeses. We tried to hate Shannon Migraine, then Stage-child Jessica, and then Heejun's track pants ... the problem, though, was that so many of these contestants were hateable. Like, ALL of them, at one point or another.
Then the judges and there insipid standing ovations. And the constant praise. Not every performance was good, guys. Most were self indulgent, about 2 were original/creative, and none were worthy of your constant jack-in-the-boxing.
Then the finale. I tuned in because the finales are always star-studded, and even if the top 13 don't float my boat, there will be a star who does.
Let's talk about previous stars that have performed on AI:
Beyonce!
Bono!
One Republic!
Celine Dion!
Green Day!
Fergie!
Mariah Carey!
Rascal Flatts!
Snoop Dog!
Last night ...
Two words: Neil Diamond.
He was, single handedly, THE finale.
The other "stars"
Phil paired with John Fogerty (yawn)
Jessica paired with herself (singing a repeat song)
Joshua and Fantasia (Idol alum) screeched through a song
Girls sang with Chaka Kahn
Boys (mostly DeAndre, unfortunately) sang with Neil Baby
Skylar sang with Reba McEntire
Hollie sang with Jordin Sparks (Idol alum)
Jessica sang with Jennifer Holliday (who?)
JLo does a 37 minute lipsync
Aerosmith does a 39 minute performance (proving they're not feuding after all, except why is Joe Perry so pissed about sharing that mic with Steven Tyler?)
Then then the feather in the cap of an entirely disappointing season:
The white guy with the guitar wins. Again. For the 27th season in a row.
I wasn't going to blog anymore this year ...
But I did, and now I am. Because I'm sad.
It's well established that this was a bummer of a season as a whole. Auntee and I didn't have any clear favorites, or any real nemeses. We tried to hate Shannon Migraine, then Stage-child Jessica, and then Heejun's track pants ... the problem, though, was that so many of these contestants were hateable. Like, ALL of them, at one point or another.
Then the judges and there insipid standing ovations. And the constant praise. Not every performance was good, guys. Most were self indulgent, about 2 were original/creative, and none were worthy of your constant jack-in-the-boxing.
Then the finale. I tuned in because the finales are always star-studded, and even if the top 13 don't float my boat, there will be a star who does.
Let's talk about previous stars that have performed on AI:
Beyonce!
Bono!
One Republic!
Celine Dion!
Green Day!
Fergie!
Mariah Carey!
Rascal Flatts!
Snoop Dog!
Last night ...
Two words: Neil Diamond.
He was, single handedly, THE finale.
The other "stars"
Phil paired with John Fogerty (yawn)
Jessica paired with herself (singing a repeat song)
Joshua and Fantasia (Idol alum) screeched through a song
Girls sang with Chaka Kahn
Boys (mostly DeAndre, unfortunately) sang with Neil Baby
Skylar sang with Reba McEntire
Hollie sang with Jordin Sparks (Idol alum)
Jessica sang with Jennifer Holliday (who?)
JLo does a 37 minute lipsync
Aerosmith does a 39 minute performance (proving they're not feuding after all, except why is Joe Perry so pissed about sharing that mic with Steven Tyler?)
Then then the feather in the cap of an entirely disappointing season:
The white guy with the guitar wins. Again. For the 27th season in a row.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
See You In January!
This is the second season I cannot bear to watch the finale so this will be my last post of the year. It seems to me the two worst contestants are in the finale and I feel bad for Joshua. I can only hope the tweens and frauen take Phillip to victory over Bibi's little smug smart ass and her evil tiger mother.
I didnt' watch the entire show tonight because I'm frankly sick of this season. Instead I watched an old episode of Wife Swap for most of the hour and just tuned in to see the results.
I didnt' watch the entire show tonight because I'm frankly sick of this season. Instead I watched an old episode of Wife Swap for most of the hour and just tuned in to see the results.
Wasting Time
I'm with KK. I hate this season of Idol. It was all I could do to turn it on tonight to see the final three perform. I should have seen it coming way back when I really didn't LOVE any of these contestants in the top 13 (and now I can barely remember most of them) but I tried to get into it with Erika, Elise, Skylar and Hollie. I must be honest, I thought tonight's show would be tantamount to descending into the 9th Circle of Hell (or at least a Sesame Street Live performance). Not quite as bad as I feared, but tedious nevertheless.
As far as tonight is concerned, Elise should be singing *Whole Lotta Love* because that is all it was about. These judges have coddled, praised, and pushed these three contestants down our throats so much this season that for them to actually judge their performances would have been a miracle. At this point, as far as the judges are concerned, these contestants are *too big to fail* and they double down on the judge's voter stimulus package.
The judges evidently chose the songs for the contestants jointly with perhaps one of them having more say so than the others for the three contestants. They couldn't have designed who chooses for whom more perfectly. Randy gets the black guy, Jennifer gets the girl and Steven gets the (so-called) original genius Phillips. The contestants choose a song and then Jimmy chooses one for them. Ok, now we know the playing field.
The Joshua Story:
A preachers son from Westlake, Louisiana, Joshua returns home with a police escort . It looks like his community really loves him, he has a darling niece Chloe, the highschool he attended was thrilled to see him as well as the church congregation. And, he packs the stadium which is great for his concert. So, we like Joshua (even if he does mention Obama) and it appears he is a well-loved person by family and friends and his community. Yay for him...seriously.
His first song, introduced by Randy, is Etta James' I'd Rather Go Blind because Randy wants Joshua's R&B chops to shine. I'm thinking Randy didn't do Joshua any favors with the voting audience because unless you are really an R&B fan or an Etta James fan you probably have never heard this song before (its not like he picked At Last). Joshua starts out rather restrained for him and then ends it on the moon. Standing O from the judges.
Joshua chooses Imagine for his second song. Now this song for Idol viewers, has nothing to do with John Lennon. This song is all about David Archuletta who sang it at least twice during his season and probably still sings it every time he gets 2 or 3 people gathered together which as far as I can tell is about the number of people he gets to sing to these days. I liked Joshua's version better but it still had way too much melisma to it and of course, he left out the controversial line about imagining there is no religion because that would be blasphemy given his beliefs. The fact that that line was probably the most important line to John Lennon is immaterial...it is not an anti-war song anymore...its a sappy *we are the world song* designed to make voters weep and pick up the phone. The judges were surprised, Randy makes Joshua explain why he chose it (and Joshua probably lies about his reason...duh..Randy...its to get votes dawg!). The judges praised it but it didn't get a standing O so now the audience is wondering if Joshua is slipping.
Jimmy chooses Mary J. Blige's No More Drama and Joshua gives it his all. For the first time in many years I watched the Grammy's this year and for the first time actually liked Mary J. Blige. Joshua does fine but I'm not sure I get the jumping up and down part and the feet stomping part. The judges love it and praise his performance skills to the skies (and of the three left, he is the only one who actually moves around the stage so I guess that praise is somewhat merited) and Joshua's fate is up to the voters.
The Jessica/Bibi Story.
Jessica takes a helicopter from LA to San Diego for her big homecoming. She tells us before the video runs that she was home schooled and doesn't have that many friends because she is a sort of a nerd. How about its because you are sort of a bitch whose stage parents don't let you have a life and that you don't give a hoot about friends because its all about you? She points out the stadium *where it all began* and sits in the seat she supposedly occupied during the cattle call portion of the competition. IF she sat in that stadium it was with a big star on her ticket because there is no way she was not planted in the competition. There is a parade (where boys supposedly ran after her car) along with an event with the mayor and some decent looking crowds. If she gave a concert we don't see it. We do see her singing acapella to a boat load of sailors who were ordered to attend, may or may not have ever heard of her, and were probably so glad of a break in their routine, they would have cheered for a barking dog. Maybe she had a concert or maybe not. If she did, I suspect the crowd paled in comparison to Phillips and Joshua's crowd or they would have shown it to us...but who knows. (I suppose I could research this if I cared to but I do not).
Jennifer chooses a Mariah Carey song for Jessica and spends about 5 minutes explaining that she wants us to see Jessica's *tender* side. Good luck with that. This girl has a hide like a rhinocerous and two emotions: a) I'm the biggest star; and b) I'm pissed you don't recognize that I am the biggest star. Jennifer doesn't tell us the name of the song but if you are a Mariah fan you probably know it. I am not. It is a hard song to sing and Jessica runs out of breath several times but doesn't butcher it irredeemably so she gets lots of praise and even a kudo to Randy for showing that *breathless* quality that Mariah has. Well, I'm not a Mariah fan but I don't think her *breathless* quality comes from running out of breath. Randy reminds us how close he is to Mariah. Next he will be claiming to be the father of her twins. Shut up Randy.
Jessica, like Joshua, chooses a song designed not only to get her votes but also to suck up to Steven. She sings *I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing* robotically but with enough glory notes to make people think she is something special. The judges love it and I'm thinking Whaa? This was karaoke...and I bet 100,000 drunk college kids have sung it almost as well in bars throughout the country over the past 13 years. She brings nothing new to this song at all.
Jimmy Iovine, who is still laboring under the delusion that Jessica is a 16 year old girl (and not an automaton channeling the voice and mannerisms of every popular woman singer since Whitney) chooses the Jackson 5's *I'll Be There* because it is the first age appropriate song Jessica has sung all season. Big fail. She just mimics Michael Jackson to start, shifts to a lower register which sounds like she chose it because she cannot hit the high notes (I guess that is the Jermaine part that Jennifer referred to) and then goes high again and I think loses the pitch at least once...even on the ending glory note. Again, (with credit to Dorothy Parker) her emotions run the gamut from A to B. Randy says something sane for a change by calling it just ok. Steven and Jennifer are too heavily invested here and won't admit Jessica gave a mediocre, karoake, lounge singer performance.
The Phillips Story
Phillips goes home to small town Georgia and everyone is happy to see him but the video seems odd. He arrives after dark but doesn't see his mom and dad until the next day? He has a huge concert, lots of fans, lots of love, and has his mom and dad in the parade with him (did Jessica let anyone ride in the parade with her?). His concert looks packed to the rafters too so good for him. (As much as I'm critical of his talent, I think the kid is a decent young man). I like the stuffed turkey in the pawn shop.
Steven announces the judges choice for Phillips is *Beggin* and that they chose it so that Phillips would sing a melody. (Evidently, they have just noticed over the past 2 weeks that Phillips cannot carry a tune). I am not familiar with this song but it doesn't matter because it sounds like every other song Phillips has sung for the past 15 weeks so...no surprise when he gets high praise for it even if he did not sing the melody.
Phillips chooses *Disease* as his second song and I am giddy at just the announcement of the song title. What irony! I do not know this one either but again it doesn't matter because he sounds like he always does. At least with this song, the pained expression on his face somewhat matches the song's lyrics. The judges are dismayed that he doesn't do something more dramatic (I guess they thought he would transform into Andrea Bocelli at this point?) and throw him toward the bus but not quite under it.
Jimmy comes to the rescue for Phillip and chooses Bob Seger's *We've Got Tonight*. I knew I loved Jimmy for a reason. He chooses a song which I don't recall ever being performed on Idol before (correct me if I'm wrong) and it is one of my all time classic bring back memories of my wild and unfettered youth favorites. I'm thinking *hmmm maybe this will make me see the Phillips love*. Well, sort of. Phillips does a soft, subdued version, attempts to stay on key, and for once doesn't look like he's passing a kidney stone while he sings it. But he sings it like he expects the girl to stay and is just giving her a line like *you are so special*. Bob Seger sang it like he would be lucky if the girl stayed and really needed to persuade her stay. Its all in the chorus. Go listen to the original...Phillips could have cut loose on this one and still kept it tender but he did a wussified version. For once, when he should have sounded pained, he did not. Weird.
And then, in a statement which pretty much sums up this WTF season of Idol, Steven tells Phillips *it doesn't matter if you hit the notes as long as you have passion*. I'm sure Elise and Holly were about ready to throttle him.
So...tomorrow I will learn if Bibi has conned America all the way to the finals. I agree with Big J's prediction that she will release an album of covers, it will not sell all that well, and she will sink into oblivion until mama puts her on yet another reality show or gets her adopted into the Kardashian family who will provide her with boob and butt enhancments and a professional athelete or rap star to date.
According to Dial Idol (which has been flakey this year), Phillips is a shoe-in and it will be close between Jessica and Joshua.
As far as tonight is concerned, Elise should be singing *Whole Lotta Love* because that is all it was about. These judges have coddled, praised, and pushed these three contestants down our throats so much this season that for them to actually judge their performances would have been a miracle. At this point, as far as the judges are concerned, these contestants are *too big to fail* and they double down on the judge's voter stimulus package.
The judges evidently chose the songs for the contestants jointly with perhaps one of them having more say so than the others for the three contestants. They couldn't have designed who chooses for whom more perfectly. Randy gets the black guy, Jennifer gets the girl and Steven gets the (so-called) original genius Phillips. The contestants choose a song and then Jimmy chooses one for them. Ok, now we know the playing field.
The Joshua Story:
A preachers son from Westlake, Louisiana, Joshua returns home with a police escort . It looks like his community really loves him, he has a darling niece Chloe, the highschool he attended was thrilled to see him as well as the church congregation. And, he packs the stadium which is great for his concert. So, we like Joshua (even if he does mention Obama) and it appears he is a well-loved person by family and friends and his community. Yay for him...seriously.
His first song, introduced by Randy, is Etta James' I'd Rather Go Blind because Randy wants Joshua's R&B chops to shine. I'm thinking Randy didn't do Joshua any favors with the voting audience because unless you are really an R&B fan or an Etta James fan you probably have never heard this song before (its not like he picked At Last). Joshua starts out rather restrained for him and then ends it on the moon. Standing O from the judges.
Joshua chooses Imagine for his second song. Now this song for Idol viewers, has nothing to do with John Lennon. This song is all about David Archuletta who sang it at least twice during his season and probably still sings it every time he gets 2 or 3 people gathered together which as far as I can tell is about the number of people he gets to sing to these days. I liked Joshua's version better but it still had way too much melisma to it and of course, he left out the controversial line about imagining there is no religion because that would be blasphemy given his beliefs. The fact that that line was probably the most important line to John Lennon is immaterial...it is not an anti-war song anymore...its a sappy *we are the world song* designed to make voters weep and pick up the phone. The judges were surprised, Randy makes Joshua explain why he chose it (and Joshua probably lies about his reason...duh..Randy...its to get votes dawg!). The judges praised it but it didn't get a standing O so now the audience is wondering if Joshua is slipping.
Jimmy chooses Mary J. Blige's No More Drama and Joshua gives it his all. For the first time in many years I watched the Grammy's this year and for the first time actually liked Mary J. Blige. Joshua does fine but I'm not sure I get the jumping up and down part and the feet stomping part. The judges love it and praise his performance skills to the skies (and of the three left, he is the only one who actually moves around the stage so I guess that praise is somewhat merited) and Joshua's fate is up to the voters.
The Jessica/Bibi Story.
Jessica takes a helicopter from LA to San Diego for her big homecoming. She tells us before the video runs that she was home schooled and doesn't have that many friends because she is a sort of a nerd. How about its because you are sort of a bitch whose stage parents don't let you have a life and that you don't give a hoot about friends because its all about you? She points out the stadium *where it all began* and sits in the seat she supposedly occupied during the cattle call portion of the competition. IF she sat in that stadium it was with a big star on her ticket because there is no way she was not planted in the competition. There is a parade (where boys supposedly ran after her car) along with an event with the mayor and some decent looking crowds. If she gave a concert we don't see it. We do see her singing acapella to a boat load of sailors who were ordered to attend, may or may not have ever heard of her, and were probably so glad of a break in their routine, they would have cheered for a barking dog. Maybe she had a concert or maybe not. If she did, I suspect the crowd paled in comparison to Phillips and Joshua's crowd or they would have shown it to us...but who knows. (I suppose I could research this if I cared to but I do not).
Jennifer chooses a Mariah Carey song for Jessica and spends about 5 minutes explaining that she wants us to see Jessica's *tender* side. Good luck with that. This girl has a hide like a rhinocerous and two emotions: a) I'm the biggest star; and b) I'm pissed you don't recognize that I am the biggest star. Jennifer doesn't tell us the name of the song but if you are a Mariah fan you probably know it. I am not. It is a hard song to sing and Jessica runs out of breath several times but doesn't butcher it irredeemably so she gets lots of praise and even a kudo to Randy for showing that *breathless* quality that Mariah has. Well, I'm not a Mariah fan but I don't think her *breathless* quality comes from running out of breath. Randy reminds us how close he is to Mariah. Next he will be claiming to be the father of her twins. Shut up Randy.
Jessica, like Joshua, chooses a song designed not only to get her votes but also to suck up to Steven. She sings *I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing* robotically but with enough glory notes to make people think she is something special. The judges love it and I'm thinking Whaa? This was karaoke...and I bet 100,000 drunk college kids have sung it almost as well in bars throughout the country over the past 13 years. She brings nothing new to this song at all.
Jimmy Iovine, who is still laboring under the delusion that Jessica is a 16 year old girl (and not an automaton channeling the voice and mannerisms of every popular woman singer since Whitney) chooses the Jackson 5's *I'll Be There* because it is the first age appropriate song Jessica has sung all season. Big fail. She just mimics Michael Jackson to start, shifts to a lower register which sounds like she chose it because she cannot hit the high notes (I guess that is the Jermaine part that Jennifer referred to) and then goes high again and I think loses the pitch at least once...even on the ending glory note. Again, (with credit to Dorothy Parker) her emotions run the gamut from A to B. Randy says something sane for a change by calling it just ok. Steven and Jennifer are too heavily invested here and won't admit Jessica gave a mediocre, karoake, lounge singer performance.
The Phillips Story
Phillips goes home to small town Georgia and everyone is happy to see him but the video seems odd. He arrives after dark but doesn't see his mom and dad until the next day? He has a huge concert, lots of fans, lots of love, and has his mom and dad in the parade with him (did Jessica let anyone ride in the parade with her?). His concert looks packed to the rafters too so good for him. (As much as I'm critical of his talent, I think the kid is a decent young man). I like the stuffed turkey in the pawn shop.
Steven announces the judges choice for Phillips is *Beggin* and that they chose it so that Phillips would sing a melody. (Evidently, they have just noticed over the past 2 weeks that Phillips cannot carry a tune). I am not familiar with this song but it doesn't matter because it sounds like every other song Phillips has sung for the past 15 weeks so...no surprise when he gets high praise for it even if he did not sing the melody.
Phillips chooses *Disease* as his second song and I am giddy at just the announcement of the song title. What irony! I do not know this one either but again it doesn't matter because he sounds like he always does. At least with this song, the pained expression on his face somewhat matches the song's lyrics. The judges are dismayed that he doesn't do something more dramatic (I guess they thought he would transform into Andrea Bocelli at this point?) and throw him toward the bus but not quite under it.
Jimmy comes to the rescue for Phillip and chooses Bob Seger's *We've Got Tonight*. I knew I loved Jimmy for a reason. He chooses a song which I don't recall ever being performed on Idol before (correct me if I'm wrong) and it is one of my all time classic bring back memories of my wild and unfettered youth favorites. I'm thinking *hmmm maybe this will make me see the Phillips love*. Well, sort of. Phillips does a soft, subdued version, attempts to stay on key, and for once doesn't look like he's passing a kidney stone while he sings it. But he sings it like he expects the girl to stay and is just giving her a line like *you are so special*. Bob Seger sang it like he would be lucky if the girl stayed and really needed to persuade her stay. Its all in the chorus. Go listen to the original...Phillips could have cut loose on this one and still kept it tender but he did a wussified version. For once, when he should have sounded pained, he did not. Weird.
And then, in a statement which pretty much sums up this WTF season of Idol, Steven tells Phillips *it doesn't matter if you hit the notes as long as you have passion*. I'm sure Elise and Holly were about ready to throttle him.
So...tomorrow I will learn if Bibi has conned America all the way to the finals. I agree with Big J's prediction that she will release an album of covers, it will not sell all that well, and she will sink into oblivion until mama puts her on yet another reality show or gets her adopted into the Kardashian family who will provide her with boob and butt enhancments and a professional athelete or rap star to date.
According to Dial Idol (which has been flakey this year), Phillips is a shoe-in and it will be close between Jessica and Joshua.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Changing Gears
A girl can admit she was wrong ...
My problem here, is that I pretty much hate all of these contestants. Never before has an American Idol season disappointed me so much. I made a rash, flailing decision based on the downward spiral that this season has become.
I watched this week's performances. I fast-forwarded through all the BS, but I watched the performances.
I really liked Phil Phillip's Volcano. Like, REALLY liked it. Like, for only the 2nd time this season, I asked MrKK to download a song for me.
Plus, he's a stoner. I know and love a lot of stoners. Stoners are good peeps.
And what really clinched my change of heart was the fact that I just can NOT get past Jessica's attitude, entitlement, faux-compassion, and general dislikeability. Also, she was on the fricking PIANO again!!! I really do just hate her.
So, let's talk about the good parts of last night's show:
DAVID COOK!!! I love him. (1) He's so hot. Has he gotten hotter as he becomes more famous? I think so. (2) His song was better than just about anything else I've heard on the Idol stage this entire season.
Oh, and Hollie's grace and dignity upon being (non-surprisingly) voted out. She's such a sweet little thing, and I hope she has much success.
THAT, Jessica, is how you do humble and lovely.
Ugh, on to next week, I guess.
My problem here, is that I pretty much hate all of these contestants. Never before has an American Idol season disappointed me so much. I made a rash, flailing decision based on the downward spiral that this season has become.
I watched this week's performances. I fast-forwarded through all the BS, but I watched the performances.
I really liked Phil Phillip's Volcano. Like, REALLY liked it. Like, for only the 2nd time this season, I asked MrKK to download a song for me.
Plus, he's a stoner. I know and love a lot of stoners. Stoners are good peeps.
And what really clinched my change of heart was the fact that I just can NOT get past Jessica's attitude, entitlement, faux-compassion, and general dislikeability. Also, she was on the fricking PIANO again!!! I really do just hate her.
So, let's talk about the good parts of last night's show:
DAVID COOK!!! I love him. (1) He's so hot. Has he gotten hotter as he becomes more famous? I think so. (2) His song was better than just about anything else I've heard on the Idol stage this entire season.
Oh, and Hollie's grace and dignity upon being (non-surprisingly) voted out. She's such a sweet little thing, and I hope she has much success.
THAT, Jessica, is how you do humble and lovely.
Ugh, on to next week, I guess.
I Want a Parade!
Well, its not like KK didn't tell us so. I must admit I held out a slim bit of hope until the end that Hollie might pick up Skylar's votes and squeak past one of the Treasured Triad and get to go home in glory to McKinney, Texas.
I will note that Jessica was just as insufferable last night as usual. She doesn't want to go home for her family and friends...she wants the PARADE!.
So, I hated the results and I'm having a really hard time getting excited about watching next week.
Half of the middle of the show was good because we got to see David Cook, who is still the ultimate White Guy With Guitar and always will be. The other half was J'Lo's lip synched, auto tuned pre-recorded dreck of a revenge song to her ex-husband about dancing again. Her boy toy was briefly featured. I especially loved how they tried to make it look like she was performing live by having her hide from the judges table in the introduction. She can dance...I will give her that.
I thought Hollie had one of the most gracious exits of any booted contestant I've seen on Idol. She said goodbye to her buddies, she shook hands with the judges in a ladylike way, and just exuded class.
But, she was doomed before the show began last night.
And, while its doubtful I'm going to vote next week, I have to strongly disagree with KK. I do not want the little brat to win. I would rather we get a half-baked WGWG as the idol than Bibi.
I will note that Jessica was just as insufferable last night as usual. She doesn't want to go home for her family and friends...she wants the PARADE!.
So, I hated the results and I'm having a really hard time getting excited about watching next week.
Half of the middle of the show was good because we got to see David Cook, who is still the ultimate White Guy With Guitar and always will be. The other half was J'Lo's lip synched, auto tuned pre-recorded dreck of a revenge song to her ex-husband about dancing again. Her boy toy was briefly featured. I especially loved how they tried to make it look like she was performing live by having her hide from the judges table in the introduction. She can dance...I will give her that.
I thought Hollie had one of the most gracious exits of any booted contestant I've seen on Idol. She said goodbye to her buddies, she shook hands with the judges in a ladylike way, and just exuded class.
But, she was doomed before the show began last night.
And, while its doubtful I'm going to vote next week, I have to strongly disagree with KK. I do not want the little brat to win. I would rather we get a half-baked WGWG as the idol than Bibi.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
The backs of my eyelids
Auntee wins this round, because I watched something else entirely last night ... the backs of my eyelids.
Yeah, it's on my DVR.
I suppose I'll watch it before the results show so that I can blog about how annoyed I am with the judges' pandering, Jessica's attitude, Phil's contorting, Joshua's screaming, and Hollie getting pushed around.
Though I can pretty much guarantee you that my actual post will be just a long version of my above paragraph.
Yeah, it's on my DVR.
I suppose I'll watch it before the results show so that I can blog about how annoyed I am with the judges' pandering, Jessica's attitude, Phil's contorting, Joshua's screaming, and Hollie getting pushed around.
Though I can pretty much guarantee you that my actual post will be just a long version of my above paragraph.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
You Can't Make Me Love You Jessica Sanchez and I Wish You Were Going
Blarg! Are we there yet? I'm not sure I can go the distance to the finale.
I had a wonderful day having lunch with art friends (although got a little overheated wandering the local botanical garden taking photos), stopped for a delicious cherry limemade on the way home, then took a 3 hour nap. I woke up at 6 pm and got on the internet to look at art stuff and totally forgot about Idol until 7:13 pm. Mr. Auntee was hoping I had *kicked the habit* but he was disappointed as I tuned in in time to hear Hollie sing her first song, Faithfully, by Journey.
Hollie did a great job although I noted she was in the *death spot*, performing second. Randy of course had to tell us at least three time he was once in Journey and how well he knew the song. Blah blah blah.
Having missed the first part of the show, I had no idea what the theme was, but Joshua comes on next singing *You Lift Me Up* to his father. Joshua knows how to milk the voters and the crowd but he can also sing well and I did get kind of teary eyed when he sang this. He went back to his gospel roots which I enjoyed. No standing O though, although the judges were way happy with it.
Jessica comes on and is sitting on her piano again doing her lounge singer routine singing an Etta James song which I should be familiar with, but I am not. If you remember the name of it, good for you. She basically growls her way through it (and I'm not opposed to growly in the right places), does a few fake finger moves, and is given great praise for a rather underwhelming and fakey performance. The stylists listened to Jimmy and instead of putting her in a cheap skimpy dress, put her in a track suit. I can only think what a brat she is.
Then Phillips and Joshua do a duet of *This Love*, or rather Joshua sings and Phillips grunts the words artistically if not harmonically alongside him. The judges really love it because its Phillips and Joshua. I thought it was sing songy, ordinary pap.
The girls sing a duet of the Bangles Eternal flame and start out on swings for some reason. Hollie is carrying the melody while Jessica walks around like she is too good to be sharing the stage with Hollie. Jessica does not play well with others and sort of pouts the low harmony votes. Randy is pissed off because Jessica did not outsing Hollie and makes no bones about it. No compliments to Hollie...he just hated it because he couldn't hear Jessica. Portent of things to come for Hollie.
Then the top 4 do a version of Waiting For a Girl Like You and Hollie and Joshua carry the load for the still pouting Jessica and the tone-deaf Phillips.
Ryan's girlfriend, Juliane Hough, and Adam Shankman get a bunch of free publicity for their new movie. I like Adam Shankman...he is one of the judges on So You Think You Can Dance and believe me I cannot wait for Idol to be over and SYTYCD to start.
We have wasted enough time so we see the contestants with Jimmy's comments go the 2nd round with *a song they wish they had written*. Yeah...right. Only Phillips and Hollie seem to take this theme seriously. Joshua and Jessica cannily pick songs they can belt over the top with knowing that is what the typical Idol voter is impressed with while Phillips and Hollie choose understated songs.
Phillips sings Volcano by Damien Rice which appears to be about a pedophile resisting temptation. I am not familiar with the song and had to go look up the lyrics to see if I got the message right. I imagine the tweens voting for Phillips are melting away right now imagining he is singing this to them and the frauen voting for Phillips are imagining they are singing it to him. The judges go on and on about how with THIS performance he has turned into his own person as an artist...completely oblvious to the load of crap they have been selling us from the beginning about what an original Phillips has been, is and always will be world without end amen. Jimmy had a come to Jesus with himself after he criticized Phillips so harshly last week...and told himself *Jimmy...this guy is going to be the Idol so you better start selling him now even if he is still doing the same old same old growly crap he started with and cannot carry a tune in a backpack.* Phillips performance is very understated and Jennifer calls it *poignant*.
So, Jimmy tell's Hollie not to oversing the Bonnie Riatt's song *I Can't Make You Love Me*, she doesn't oversing it, and bless Hollie's heart, she can't make the judges love her for more than one song ever. I thought she did a very nice job with it but no...they wanted power Hollie not poignant Hollie (or to be really honest about it...no more Hollie and they will probably get their wish).
Joshua does James Brown's Its A Mans World and I suspect that is what the finale to this season will end up being. He gets a standing O. It was great but I'm getting tired of them loving up on Joshua and tired of Joshua.
And now, Bibi comes out and sings *And I Am Telling You* to let us know that she is not going anywhere so *F you America*. Bibi thinks *Jennifer Holiday* sang this song and I hope she doesn't run into Jennifer Hudson any time soon. She blasts this one to the rafters and is smart enough not to move. Standing O from the judges. Cat eating canary look on Jessica's face. Ooooh she thinks she is so hot. I cannot stand to look at her any more. My only consolation is that when she goes home to San Diego the crowds will be sparse because if they don't turn out in force for Adam Lambert, they are not going to turn out for her.
Going home is Hollie who has had a brave run and I love her for it.
I'm not sure I can stomach watching the rest of the season after Hollie goes. I suppose then I will root for Joshua because I just cannot force myself to root for the brat even though she is a girl.
I'm signing off now in a crabby snit!
I had a wonderful day having lunch with art friends (although got a little overheated wandering the local botanical garden taking photos), stopped for a delicious cherry limemade on the way home, then took a 3 hour nap. I woke up at 6 pm and got on the internet to look at art stuff and totally forgot about Idol until 7:13 pm. Mr. Auntee was hoping I had *kicked the habit* but he was disappointed as I tuned in in time to hear Hollie sing her first song, Faithfully, by Journey.
Hollie did a great job although I noted she was in the *death spot*, performing second. Randy of course had to tell us at least three time he was once in Journey and how well he knew the song. Blah blah blah.
Having missed the first part of the show, I had no idea what the theme was, but Joshua comes on next singing *You Lift Me Up* to his father. Joshua knows how to milk the voters and the crowd but he can also sing well and I did get kind of teary eyed when he sang this. He went back to his gospel roots which I enjoyed. No standing O though, although the judges were way happy with it.
Jessica comes on and is sitting on her piano again doing her lounge singer routine singing an Etta James song which I should be familiar with, but I am not. If you remember the name of it, good for you. She basically growls her way through it (and I'm not opposed to growly in the right places), does a few fake finger moves, and is given great praise for a rather underwhelming and fakey performance. The stylists listened to Jimmy and instead of putting her in a cheap skimpy dress, put her in a track suit. I can only think what a brat she is.
Then Phillips and Joshua do a duet of *This Love*, or rather Joshua sings and Phillips grunts the words artistically if not harmonically alongside him. The judges really love it because its Phillips and Joshua. I thought it was sing songy, ordinary pap.
The girls sing a duet of the Bangles Eternal flame and start out on swings for some reason. Hollie is carrying the melody while Jessica walks around like she is too good to be sharing the stage with Hollie. Jessica does not play well with others and sort of pouts the low harmony votes. Randy is pissed off because Jessica did not outsing Hollie and makes no bones about it. No compliments to Hollie...he just hated it because he couldn't hear Jessica. Portent of things to come for Hollie.
Then the top 4 do a version of Waiting For a Girl Like You and Hollie and Joshua carry the load for the still pouting Jessica and the tone-deaf Phillips.
Ryan's girlfriend, Juliane Hough, and Adam Shankman get a bunch of free publicity for their new movie. I like Adam Shankman...he is one of the judges on So You Think You Can Dance and believe me I cannot wait for Idol to be over and SYTYCD to start.
We have wasted enough time so we see the contestants with Jimmy's comments go the 2nd round with *a song they wish they had written*. Yeah...right. Only Phillips and Hollie seem to take this theme seriously. Joshua and Jessica cannily pick songs they can belt over the top with knowing that is what the typical Idol voter is impressed with while Phillips and Hollie choose understated songs.
Phillips sings Volcano by Damien Rice which appears to be about a pedophile resisting temptation. I am not familiar with the song and had to go look up the lyrics to see if I got the message right. I imagine the tweens voting for Phillips are melting away right now imagining he is singing this to them and the frauen voting for Phillips are imagining they are singing it to him. The judges go on and on about how with THIS performance he has turned into his own person as an artist...completely oblvious to the load of crap they have been selling us from the beginning about what an original Phillips has been, is and always will be world without end amen. Jimmy had a come to Jesus with himself after he criticized Phillips so harshly last week...and told himself *Jimmy...this guy is going to be the Idol so you better start selling him now even if he is still doing the same old same old growly crap he started with and cannot carry a tune in a backpack.* Phillips performance is very understated and Jennifer calls it *poignant*.
So, Jimmy tell's Hollie not to oversing the Bonnie Riatt's song *I Can't Make You Love Me*, she doesn't oversing it, and bless Hollie's heart, she can't make the judges love her for more than one song ever. I thought she did a very nice job with it but no...they wanted power Hollie not poignant Hollie (or to be really honest about it...no more Hollie and they will probably get their wish).
Joshua does James Brown's Its A Mans World and I suspect that is what the finale to this season will end up being. He gets a standing O. It was great but I'm getting tired of them loving up on Joshua and tired of Joshua.
And now, Bibi comes out and sings *And I Am Telling You* to let us know that she is not going anywhere so *F you America*. Bibi thinks *Jennifer Holiday* sang this song and I hope she doesn't run into Jennifer Hudson any time soon. She blasts this one to the rafters and is smart enough not to move. Standing O from the judges. Cat eating canary look on Jessica's face. Ooooh she thinks she is so hot. I cannot stand to look at her any more. My only consolation is that when she goes home to San Diego the crowds will be sparse because if they don't turn out in force for Adam Lambert, they are not going to turn out for her.
Going home is Hollie who has had a brave run and I love her for it.
I'm not sure I can stomach watching the rest of the season after Hollie goes. I suppose then I will root for Joshua because I just cannot force myself to root for the brat even though she is a girl.
I'm signing off now in a crabby snit!
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