KK Is Too Funny!

Love the letter!

A ha, ha, ha, ha!!!

Dear Coke and Ford,

I am a 13 year old emo with black fingernails and jeans that are 6 sizes too small. I've been growing out my bangs for 3 years so that they cover my face completely and nobody can see my eyes. And I only shower every 6 days so that my hair-grease is perfectly shiny, and I make sure to reapply my guy-liner 16 times a day. I usually write only dark poetry about cutting myself, but today I feel I must write to you.

I am writing because I think American Idol is mean to Adam. I am asking you to pull your Ford video and Coke cups from the show in protest.

They made Adam pick sides!! It was awful!! In that intense situation, it would have been impossible for him to do the math and realize that, with 2 on each side, he was in the bottom 3 no matter what.

I'm positive that Adam is not embarassed about the 6 pounds of make-up he wears each show, or that his tongue is creepy and white when he sticks it out to yell, or that his pants are so tight you can see his underwear lines on national TV. I'm also sure that none of the Broadway costumes that Adam has worn in the past were embarassing. But he had to be embarassed about this!

In Adam's name, please give up the millions of dollars your sponsorship of the show probably earns you annually.

Deepest appreciation,
13 year old emo kid

Adams Fan's Are Up in Arms!

And clearly, Perez Hilton is one of them. Allison's situation is no different from Archuletta's except that she won $50,000 less. David Cook had released his own album (which went nowhere) And St. Gokey was just up for some award from the Christian Music Association for one of his recordings (he lost btw). Yes, its frustrating when they bring in plants but as long as they are not obviously showing favoritism (like they did with Joanna Pancitti who forgot her words THREE TIMES in Hollywood) its just the way they are doing things.

As you know, I read and comment on the Official American Idol Fan Forum (I know, I'm sick). The Adam fans were in absolute shock that he could be in the bottom 3, let alone the bottom 2. They have 2 or 3 theories as to why this might be: 1) The producers lied and Adam wasn't in the bottom 3 let alone the bottom 2...probably Allison or Gokey was and Idol just wanted to create drama; 2) Adam's fans are so generous that they all decided to vote for Allison this week instead of Adam because they knew Adam was going to be safe; 3) Last Sunday every Christian preacher in the country told his congregation not to vote for Adam because he is gay.

They are also instigating a call/write in campaign to Ford and Coca Cola protesting the *humiliation* of Adam. As far as I can tell this consisted of asking Adam to choose which group he was in. Their rationale is that even though this routine has been used in every other season, they only used it on *safe* contestants and it was unfair to use it on Adam because he was in the bottom 3. Or that the routine is unfair in general. Of course they are completely ignoring the fact that Adam is, in idol history, the only contestant with the hubris to actually CHOOSE sides and that in doing so HE humiliated Matt and Kris. There is also a bit of rumbling about how awful it was of Kara and Randy to gloat that they were *right* in their critiques last week (even though it was poor Matt they were gloating about) but that usually consists of how mean Randy and Kara were to poor Adam who had to stand next to poor Matt and be humiliated by association with an occasional *oh yes, I felt bad for Matt too.*. These people are insane!

It really does make one want to reconsider voting for Adam in the finale unless of course its necessary to defeat Gokehead.

I heard about the duets too. I think it might be fun to see Danny try and fail to upstage Adam. I bet they will pair Danny with Allison in the hopes he will knock her out. And Adam with Kris with the same hopes.

Potential New Twist?

Are the top 4 going to get to sing their own rock song PLUS a DUET? How fabulous would that be?!?!

I'd love to hear Allison and Adam together. But, I know that they'll keep it fair by pairing the boring vocal stylings of Kris and Gokey with the stronger vocals of Allison and Adam.

How I hope this rumor is true! Slash + Duets = One Awesome AI

http://topidol.wordpress.com/2009/04/30/american-idol-top-4-theme-spoilers/

Blasphemy!

Uh, oh, Allison. They're coming after you now that you were in the top 2 last night.

http://perezhilton.com/2009-04-30-american-idols-allison-iraheta-secret-past

So, she won another singing competition. She got $50,000. But she doesn't have a recording contract, and that's clearly what these contestants want.

I'm still 100% on Team Allison!!!

Apparently it's me ...

I think I'm going to start cheering for Gokey next week, because I'm clearly cursed. I JUST start to cheer for Adam, and look what happens!

Obviously, I would've liked to see Gokey in the bottom three before Adam. But when it gets down to it, they're all probably going to be there soon. There's only 4 left - that's just basic math. If Gokey avoids it all season, I might just avoid AI all next season (okay, that's clearly an empty threat).

As far as the stupid "pick sides" game that Ryan makes everybody play - I think Adam GOT that he was in the bottom three, and went over with the 2 that he thought were there with him. After all, Simon was all over Matt's performance last night, for some reason. And I'm actually glad that he didn't sit in the middle like some spoiled temper-tantrum throwing child - Pukaletta ruined that move for me forever. And Adam's closer to my age, he's not 16 - I'm glad he acted like an adult.

I also have to confess: I did not watch Matt's last performance (I was over him, anyway), only watched a small portion of Natalie Cole's performance (she's beautiful and wonderful, as always), and listened to about 3 notes out of Taylor Hicks (who I still can't believe beat Daughtry and Kat McPhee, but he IS funny in fast-foward). And, although I like the actual song "Blame It", I had to skip Jamie Foxx's performance, too (because without T Pain's live voice, it sounded like he was singing with a robot).

It was 10:00, I'm pregnant ... the DVR is my best friend. I apologize for my piss-poor blogging.

I may not know the Rat Pack - but Slash, I know!! His guitar riffs were burned into my brain during my dark early 90's rock phase - I could probably still air-play all 6:00 minutes of the solo in Sweet Child O'Mine. And more recently I love him on Guitar Hero (although it took me several tries to beat him). I'm dying to see how drugged out he is, and if he can actually function enough to give the contestants decent advice.

Sing Us A Song You're the Piano Man

I think if Matt had sung that song last night like he did tonight, Kris or Adam would be going home. This may explain Simon's critiques. He listens to the studio versions, forms his opinions, and then sort of zones out on the live performances. Because, I thought Matt did that song brilliantly tonight and I don't think it was only because I was relieved that my precious Allison was safe. I am quite sure he hit a lot of flat notes last night, put in way too many weird falsetto changes etc. Tonight, I didn't see that. Good for Matt going out on a good performance.

Adam, bless his heart, screwed the pooch tonight. Doesn't he know that in this situation he is supposed to sit on the floor between the two groups as did Melinda and Archie? Then, he cannot count. Its the BOTTOM three not the top three. So...you are in the bottom 3. He looked shocked when asked to move and told he was in bottom 3 and this will not bode well for votes because people like humility as false as it may be in Gokey's case.

Gokey is looking at other people's performances (and probably Simon's secret e-mail to him) and is now watching David Cook videos. Please Adam...in the name of truth, justice and the American way vanquish this dark spot from our TV screen!

Loved Natalie Cole. She looks great for her years and her history. Taylor HIcks. I don't know. I would probably like his music better if I could hear him sing over the band and if I didn't have to look at him. Searched frantically for the mute button while Jamie Foxx did his hip hop rap crap which was all some synchronized voice anyway. He was gracious about all the contestants. Bad Idol producers. He agreed to do this and took it seriously and through 2 shows Ryan forgets to promote his movie

Next week is rock. Not good for Adam because that will be two *theatrical* performances in a row. Lets just be frank here. When people say *theatrical* they mean he is acting too gay. I'm thinking go for it...I think Adam held back last night and that hurt you. And who in the heck is Slash and what does he/she/they know about Rock and Roll?

Still, I'm not sure America is going to forgive Adam for thinking he was safe tonight despite the evidence so...go Allison and go Kris. The forces of evil are about to descen on our land complete with heart shaped hands promoting Lenscrafters so step it up up up!

Danny and His Heart and Some Bon Jovi Gossip

One of the posters on the Wichita Eagle's blog questioned whether Danny has some side deal with Lenscrafters as they are running a commercial using that heart shaped hands thing right now. I knew it came from a commercial but forgot it was lenscrafters which would be an obvious tie-in with Danny and he did have his glasses back on. Wouldn't it be rich if St. Danny had some sort of below the table deal with Lenscrafters? On the other hand, he was making the moves on that Christian singer a couple of weeks ago (not clear if he wanted to know her for professional or personal reasons) so maybe KK is right.

And, KK, I actually worked with Jon Bon Jovi's first cousin. His name was Joe Bon Giovi which is how they spell their name in real life and he was a doll. I'm sure you and Jon would have made a lovely couple but for the age difference!

Is the rat pack like the brat pack??

Because Tee gave you insight into her background, I feel compelled to do the same:

Other than Frank Sinatra, I couldn't name one memember of the rat pack. After I heard the theme, I had to Wiki. I'd heard a few of last night's songs before, and I like them. But I would not have been able to tell you why they were from the rat pack era (or, if "the rat pack era" is even the accepted terminology) and I could not name another song or artist that should have been featured.

I, on the other hand, grew up with the brat pack. The copy-cat posse of 80s superstars with big bangs, tight-rolled pants, and fingerless gloves. God, I loved the 80s.

Performances, from worst to best ...

Matt - I've been a fan of his ... I tried really hard to like it - especially after he built himself up as some sort of jazz superstar ("I've studied this, this is my week, I'm all over this") - which was stupid. But it was absolutely horrible!!! I'm no classically trained musician, but even I could tell that it was "pitchy" (to quote Randy). More than "pitchy", it was just AWFUL to listen to. Please go home, Matt.

Gokey - I wanted to put him at the bottom this week because I can't stand this kid, but Matt's performance was just that bad. I will say that this wasn't the worst Gokey performance I've heard. But what's with all of this "the vocals were better than they've been during the past few weeks" crap the judges whipped out? I didn't hear one bit of bad criticism over the past few weeks ... should there have been? Is somebody telling the judges to hold the bad inside for this tool? And I think that heart he made with his hands at the end was for his new girlfriend who he has to keep secret because it would trump the dead-wife card he's been riding around on (my husband says I'm mean.)

Kris - I like him, a lot. I like his voice, I think he's cute. I love that he really HAS become the "dark horse" in this competition and I'm pulling for him to uproot Gokey and compete with Adam in the finals. But ...

Allison - Is absolutely amazing! I would buy that song - hell, a whole album of songs like it - NOW. She looked beautiful, she's been working on her quirky personality (to become more camera friendly), and she has the best voice of anybody on the show. ANYBODY.

Best of the night: Adam Lambert - this kid is going to make a fan of me, yet. Damn him. He is a performer, isn't he?!? From the grand entrance down the red staircase, to his fancy white suit ... and that 20 second note - which, by the way, was NOT yelling - gave me goosebumps. Randy called it Broadway and Simon correctly quipped "that's like criticizing a cow for mooing" ... it's been Broadway all along, Randy. Apparently, people like it. And ... gasp ... I'm becoming one of them.

A note of Jamie Foxx - I was JUST talking to my husband about the lack of mentors this season (actually, I was really just missing my Bon Jovi week - I was supposed to marry Bon Jovi, you know?). And out comes Jamie Foxx - of whom I'm a huge fan. And I think he was an awesome mentor, gave good advice to every contestant, and really did make the show interesting.

Fly Simon To The Moon!

Well, first let me say that I had a lovely day today and had absolutely no inclination that I was going to turn into a bawling idiot 15 minutes into the show. Second, let me say that Simon is a dishonest ass and should be flown to the moon and left there after his comments tonight.

OK, I was prepared to be very critical of Jamie Foxx as the mentor for Rat Pack week. What the heck does he know about the Rat Pack? He played Ray Charles in a movie but Ray Charles wasn't in the Rat Pack. Yes, Sammy Davis Junior was black and so is Jamie Foxx but Sid Vicious was white and so was Frank Sinatra so where is the connection? I didn't know that Foxx is a classically trained musician. And, despite my initial scorn, I thought he did a great job as a mentor tonight.

I was born too late. I should have been a young adult in the late 1950's and early 1960's when people went to nightclubs and drank martinis and listened to big bands and danced and men lit your cigarettes for you and you wore dresses with full skirts and petticoats and big collars and rhinestone buttons and perfume. And FM shoes. Instead I ended up in beer joints wearing overalls and a tee shirt and navigating my way to the bathroom between puddles of spilled beer and pee or wearing polyester pants and shiny polyester tops drinking pina coladas at some disco bar where strobe lights and the over loud bass amps gave you a migraine. And no one ever lit your cigarette let alone danced with you.

Ok, thats a lot about me but just trying to give the backstory for my complete emotional breakdown tonight.

My judgments in inverse order of praise.


I don't care what Simon said, Matt stunk the house up. I think the reason Jamie had no comments for him initially is that he saw no hope for Matt's murderous renditon of that classic. I think Jamie hoped he would be on key if he changed the key. Matt was not. It was breathless, off melody, off key, off everything. Notes and riffs all over the place like always. He may have had emotion behind it like Simon said. But *it* stunk.

I so wanted Danny to sing Volare, but alas he didn't follow my advice. HIs 24 hour *meditation* on Simon's comments that he was clumsy last week led Danny to conclude that he should probably stand still this week. He does the usual Danny stuff starting slow and mournful and then breaking into the big screamer notes at the end. Kara could hardly restrain herself. He started doing his emotional hand stuff at first but then stopped himself. The audience loved him and Danny showed how much he loves the audience by clapping for them because they clapped for him. Such humility. And a dead wife too. Well the majority of Americans are suckers. The last election proved that.

My new best friend Adam disappointed me. Not because he did a bad job but because h e didn't do a better job than last week. He seemed a bit off tonight. I didn't much like the song and don't associate it with Rat Pack but I may be ignorant about that. I expected something more unexpected. Still, for the first time, I saw the fat red-headed freckled face little boy within and I'm rooting for him to vanquish the evil Gokey.

Kris was so reminiscent of Sinatra tonight it gave me goosebumps. Not that he was imitative of him. But lets face it, Sinatra did not have a great voice but he had a good voice and exquisite phrasing. Kris gave me goosebumps in the first 3 bars. Damn that stupid random falsetto note. Without that, his performance would have been perfection for me.

For the last 2 weeks, I thought Allison had been singing songs too old for her. Who wants a 16 year old to sing about needing *hot stuff* tonight? Many on the idol boards wanted her to sing Stormy Weather. Like she can relate to some old jaded alcoholic broad whose abusive husband has left her for the umpteenth time. You will not believe me but I actually did post on those boards that I wanted her to sing *Someone to Watch Over Me*. To verify this go see what tee70 had to say about what she should sing.

So this is the performance that made me bawl. It may have been the Chinese food I had tonight which I'm sure was loaded with MSG. Or it may have been Jamie suggesting that Allison think of her family when singing it. Or it may have been the chardonnay I found when cleaning out my car earlier today.


Jamie earned his mentor pay by telling her to think of her family and not some boyfriend. And then, of course, I started thinking of mine, specifically my daddy, and then I started bawling. She did it Allison's way and boy if she goes home tomorrow because of Simon's comments I will be pretty ballistic. But if she does go home tomorrow, that should be her signature song on the tour. The best she has ever done in my opinion. I've watched Idol for 3 years and never bawled like I did tonight during a performance.

I really think it was the Chinese food.

Rat Pack Night!

Its official! The theme for next week is songs for the Rat Pack Era. For those younger readers, The Rat Pack was a group of Hollywood stars originally centered around the Humphrey Bogart/Lauren Bacall social set. After Bogie died, and Bacall started dating Sinatra, Sinatra became the official *leader* of a group that finally evolved to include Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Peter Lawford, and Joey Bishop. The girl hangers on were Shirley MacClain and Angie Dickenson. I'm excited so long as they keep to the era and don't just trot out Sinatra 1970's songs like New York New York and Strangers in the Night. And, I suppose if HE really wants to he can actually sing Volare complete with sound effects! I would actually fall off my couch in spasms of laughter from which I might never recover if HE sang Volare next week!

The idol boards want Allison to sing Stormy Weather. I think that would be a huge mistake. I think she ought to sing one of Rosemary Clooney's songs beause her voice is sort of husky like Rosemary's voice is. And for younger readers, Rosemary is George's aunt and a far better entertainer than he will ever hope to be!

Welcome to our new followers, Bonnie and Steph. I am privileged that Steph can also call me Auntee. For Bonnie's information HE refers to the one I do not like.

Everyone reading is welcome to comment on our posts, even if you disagree.

And, they are going to sing 2 songs next week.

Shock! Shock, I say!

No, not because of who went home. If you've been watching the show at all, you knew it would be those 2.

But because Allison was in the bottom 3. Wrong! It was just wrong! (I clearly didn't push the redial button enough.)

While I do realize she'll likely be voted off right after Matt, it would have been a travesty if Matt and Anoop got to stay and she didn't. I'm glad she's around for another week.

She and Matt both have to seriously step it up next week if they have any chance of performing again.

Kris appears to have fallen in with the "chosen" two ... it should be interesting to see if he can beat out Gokey for the coveted slot against Adam. I've vowed to vote for ANYBODY besides Gokey and Adam in the final 3. And now I know just how MUCH I have to push that redial button for it to count for something!

Anti-Climax

Well, Lil is out of her misery and they won't have Anoop to kick around any more. I was pretty scared for Allison and thinking you stupid judges you wasted the save on hat man Jack when you could have used it for her. I'm hoping Matt is next. The good news is that maybe next week HE will be in the bottom 3. How much meditating does HE have to do to figure out HE dances like a jerk?

KK, love the clip of Kara bursting in on Randy's time. Did you notice Simon giving Kara the finger disguised as a nose scratch? He learned move from our President.

Speaking of hat man Jack (well its nicer than referring to the reason he WEARS the hat)...a woman on the Idol boards today said that while Matt was singing *I I I I Stayin Alive*, her young kids substituted the words with *I I I I have a stupid hat on*.

Well on to next week . No theme announced that I have heard.

Tee's not the only one ...

Who doesn't like Kara ...

http://www.tmz.com/2009/04/22/a-i-judges-issues-contempt-citation/

I think once you're on Simon's bad side, you don't have much longer.

(Yes, I do other things besides read celebrity gossip sites.)

I almost like disco

Disco night, overall, wasn't as bad as I anticipated. It could have been much, much worse.

Brilliant:

Kris - I've got him pegged to beat out Gokey for the final 2 slot against Adam. When I saw him sitting there with his acoustic guitar I couldn't help but think "what is he doing? this is going to be horrible." And then I downloaded it from iTunes (along with last week's song) ... I seriously love this kid now. He's figured out exactly what kind of "artist" he is and he's an awesome one!

Adam - I won't go as far as Tee and say I like him. But I was SURE he'd do a sped-up, yelling, dancing version of Staying Alive ... and was absolutely wowed when he calmed down ... during disco week! He really does have a nice voice. Although, I still think he belongs on Broadway and I guarantee I'll never download his songs.

Allison - I voted for her. A lot. Because, in spite of what the judges said, I LOVED her arrangement. Allison is a rocker. A rocker!! Did they *want* her to go out and do the sped-up version? Wouldn't that be "karaoke" like Lil? I thought the key was to take a disco song and make it fit you're style? Plus - did she POUR herself into those leggings? God, that was awesome. She's amazing in every way.

A tie for "not good enough to keep you around" goes to:

Matt - Seriously? You were voted off last week and that's what you come back with? I get that the title to the song is fitting for your situation. But did you actually listen to the song before you decided to perform it? That was ridiculous.

Lil - I really hated it. What she doesn't do - at all - is watch the contestants that the judges are constantly praising. See how their songs sound different than the original? See how they change the notes so that they're not just copying the original artist? Remember at the beginning of the competition when you threw in "pick up the phone and vote for Lil" in the middle of the song lyrics? Get it?

Anoop - Horrible. I will admit that he's looking more handsome now. I like what his stylists have done for him. And I liked him last week, so I'm glad he didn't go home then. But he deserves to head out now.

And the award for "I want to stick a key in my eye":

Gokey - I'm so over this douchebag I don't even know where to start. He's like some horrible 80's cliche - with his ridiculous dance moves and meticulously trimmed scruffy face. His song sounded more karaoke than ANY of the others. I hate him in more ways than I can possibly fit onto this blog.

Bottom three predictions: Anoop, Lil, Matt. Lil and Matt will go home.

Simon Says

Lil, Anoop, and Matt must be in the bottom 3 and that is probably what America will do. I would gladly throw he who shall not be named in the bottom three instead of any of the above. More on that in a moment.

Poor Lil. I thought she did great tonight. Much better than previous performances but the script had been written. They didn't really have much to criticize about the actual performance. Back to lack of artistry and originality and the arrangement wasn't any good. She has embarassed them by not living up to their pre-show hype and she must go. Now.

Kris blew me away tonight for the 2nd week in a row. I had no idea what disco was going to sound like with an acoustic guitar. I loved it and am going to vote for him tonight because I hope he makes it to the finals.

Allison was a bit of a disappointment to me tonight forthe 2nd week in a row but still a solid performance. They didn't like the arrangement but unlike with Lil, they praised her.

Adam Lambert is just in a class by himself. I wondered if he would do a slow tempo song (he seems to alternate) and I couldn't believe how different that song sounds when sung in the way he sang it. I have decided I like him. He also gave credit to the person who helped him with the arrangment which was a nice touch.

Can we throw Matt Giraud back? Please? As I was watching, I thought it was frantic, as much of an *all over the place* performance as Lil's, if not worse and there was not a darn thing original about it except that it sounded way way worse than the original. A cheeesy song choice, uninspired arrangement (but unlike with Lil that didn't matter to 3 of the judges because he can sing...I beg to differ!)

They finally gave Anoop the pimp spot. The boards have been all over the place decrying the unfair treatment of Anoop so maybe the producers wanted to throw his fans a bone. He has a slightly more edgy look. I anticipated that it would be called boring. Three of the judges liked it, but Simon wants to make sure Anoop is in the bottom three so he hated it of course. But, basically, Anoop is sort of boring.

Now for he who shall not be named (HE). One of my husband's favorite movies is a cult classic called Hollywood Knights about a group of teenagers engaged in all sorts of vulgar pranks on a Halloween night in the late 1950's or early 1960's. (Sort of like American Graffiti without the artistry and with bathroom humor). They are inspired to mayhem by the closing of their favorite hangout which is being torn down to make way for a park or something. The main character, played by Robert Wuhl, shows up at the highshool talent show and steals the show by farting along with the song *Volare*. (If you know the song, use your imagination). A young Fran Drescher also appears in this movie and is apalled at his behavior and starts screaming in her Fran Drescher voice *HE'S FAHTING THE SUONG!). Well, earlier this week I said on the Idol boards that HE would be praised if he farted the song. He did. In fact some of his dance moves would have made Robert Wuhl proud!. A more unoriginal, cheesy, karaoke performance I have seldom seen on idol. HE is someone I do not like and I will vote for anyone over him in the final.

Predictions: Lil goes. Probably Anoop. Maybe Matt.

And Its A Save!

I hated Matt's performance last night, but he seems like a really nice guy so I have no problem with the save tonight. They had to use it sometime. It was great to see the other idols so happy for him. His performance was better tonight but I am still sick of those falsetto notes that they are putting in out of nowhere this season.

And, I guess learned my lesson about criticizing Danny's sympathy bid. Got spanked pretty hard by the other bloggers. Some even quoted scripture at me. So, I will henceforth never even mention Danny Gokey again. Unless he wins this thing. Then I will have to mention him I guess.

I have picked the perfect song for Lil (who is now gettin my sympathy votes) for next week: *I Will Survive*. I think it would be a hoot if she sang it really loud in Simon's face.

Blast from the past

Yay for one of my favorites from last season, Jason Castro. He's so hot.

http://perezhilton.com/2009-04-13-former-american-idol-contestant-signs-deal-with-atlantic

Paula's new book of quotations ...

Paula clearly got one of those books filled with inspirational quotes. And she's now using it, instead of actually, you know, JUDGING. So, I will take a cue from her handbook ...

Again, in order from best to worst - in my opinion:

Anoop - The road was long and windy, but you have finally emerged into the sunshine. Your future is filled with many more trips towards the glorious reward. (Translation: best performance of the night. where did this kid come from. I think I hated him before but now I love him.)

Allison - The wisdom in your eyes shines forward making all those around you forget your youth and love you for your radiant talent. (Translation: you're so good, but I worry about you because you went first and for some reason you've been in the bottom 3 several times. I really hope you'll stay and I'll bet the judges would save you.)

Kris - You have emerged from the darkness and have shown those around you the light. (Translation: I don't know if it was his best performance, but I liked that he finally put down the guitar and I think it took some guts to sing a song that nobody has heard. and I really dug it.)

Matt - You must find yourself before you can truly recognize that which will make you happiest. Search deep, you have been on the right path before. (Translation: what are you doing. can you go back to the Matt that sang Let's Get It On and The Frey, and stop trying to sing falsetto, because you're not good at it.)

Danny - You must refuse to let your past misfortune rule your life. You will never be able to grow and change unless you look foward, not back. (Translation: every song sounds the exact same. every. single. song. start low/slow and pitchy, rev up, get gravely, start yelling. and never let them forget your wife is dead. even when you suck, Simon will give you props because it must have been hard to sing about her.)

Lil - You've been dealt a harsh hand and struggled to overcome. Sometimes in life, you must recognize unfruitful ventures so that you can be successful in the correct arena. (Translation: I think you're awesome, and you'll have a good career. american idol wasn't your bag, unfortunately. and talking back to the judges sealed your fate - did you forget Meagan Joy)

Adam - Keep dancing and screaming, some will think you're a complete fool, but somebody somewhere likes you no matter what. (Translation: WTF. I hate that this kid is going to win this show. he's just awful in too many ways to express.)

Who will REALLY be in the bottom three?? Matt, Anoop, and Lil. Maybe Allison.

I'd pay money at this point to see Adam or Gokey knocked down a peg. Just once, that's all I'm asking.

Stick A Key In My Eye!

I screwed up tonight and voted 3x for the number 5 contestant who I thought was Kris. It was that horrible Danny Gokey! ARGGGH!