Alternate career ...

... in toothpaste commercials.

Well done, America. All is right and just again.

Loved Scotty and Lauren again this week. Loved Haley and Casey even more. Didn't love the boys, but didn't expect to.

Auntee is hysterical, by the way. "How ya'll doin' tonight?" Bwahahaha! Awesome.

How Y'all Doin' Tonight?

Just fine, Paul.... Sort of a bad night for you though. So, one of the weakest links is gone and the curse of the women contestants has been broken, despite the judges obvious attempt to send Haley packing last night. Paul went out like a class act, which is to his credit. The only complaint I have about tonight's show is that Jacob wasn't on the stool again.

I like when they let the contestants perform without fear of judging. Once again, Scotty and Lauren did a great job with their country duet. I thought Haley and Casey were AWESOME! Of course they are a real life couple and have some chemistry together. I loved the little scatting competition they had in the middle of the song....very entertaining. It would have been a shame if Haley went home after that as she was the star of the duo.

Nice to see Kelly Clarkson again. I guess she is going country now. I'm wondering if country is about to have another resurgence in general popularity.

I enjoyed Rihanna. I'm glad she got some hair extensions.

Not really a surprising show...I think hardcore Idol fans can use a break after last weeks drama over St. PiA. I got some distinct satisfaction seeing Haley and Stefano and Casey safe, as they were the primary targets of the St. PiA's fan's vengeance. I bet St. Pia's cousin is chewing nails right now!

I don't get it ...

Sort of a confusing night for me. There was a lot of discussion about America "getting" it, and I'll lump myself in with "America" because I didn't get it.

Best to Worst:

Lauren Alaina - I sort of might start pulling for her to win this thing (Auntee just died.) She sang the climb much better than Miley (which, I agree, isn't saying much), and she's getting SMART. She's pandering to the teens, she sung a ballad to pander to St. Pia's fans, she's even toned down the crazy judge-dancing, Ryan-flirting act and adopted (at least for now) a more mellow, grown-up personality. And she looked really pretty.

Haley - I like Blondie, I like Haley. I honestly don't understand how all three judges gave negative critiques of this. I thought she looked gorgeous (although I was a little worried the camera might show an up-the-dress shot on accident), and she sang/screamed "Call Me" just as well as she sang/screamed "Bennie" and "Come On".

Scotty - He didn't do anything new with the super well-known George Straight song, and it was totally predictable (I typed "predictable", but meant "boring"). I totally didn't get all of this "getting back to his roots" talk because he's sung country every. single. week. Hell, he found a country song during Elton John week! But, again, I was confused last night.

Casey, I guess - I totally didn't get this. I love jazz. I regularly frequented jazz bars when I lived in a city that had them. I love that Casey is an artist, and I really do think he's amazingly talented, but I didn't get Nature Boy and kept thinking of In The Air Tonight like Jimmy suggested. That said, I love his make-over. His hair and beard are shaping up nicely.

Stefano - I have to comment on his clothes because they're getting ridiculous. 1st it was the suit with the tennis shoes, now it's the too-small polo, too-small jeans, and tennis shoes. He could've done Boys 2 Men a real solid and wore a tie and sweater like they do. The. choppiest. version. of. End. Of. The. Road. ever. done. He might not have taken a breath between every word, but. it. seemed. like. it.

James Durbin - I don't get it. Admittedly, I don't like Heavy Metal. I can appreciate a good guitar solo, and am quite good at Guitar Hero, but that's as far as I go. I do like James, though, as a person. And I'd like to see him beat out most of the other contestants for that reason alone.

Paul - Last week I wanted Iggy Pop to flail into a wall or fall off the stage, this week I wanted Paul to flail into a wall or off the stage. The suit thing is getting trite, too. Honestly, I don't even think he's good looking anymore (except he does have the whitest smile ever made.) I've seen Old Time Rock and Roll done better by the drunk at the karaoke bar.

Jacob - The choir was good. And Jimmy reminded America that Jacob was a douche last week. So, that was fun.


Bottom 3 should be: Paul, Jacob, Stefano

Bottom 3 will be: Paul, Haley, Jacob

Random tangent: I believe that the judges are responsible for Pia's departure. And not because they "wasted" the save on Casey. But because they don't ever give negative critiques. Everybody gets the same glowing commentary every week. And without any subliminal guidance, America votes blindly.

What would Simon have said about Paul's flailing? We need a Simon to remind us that they are NOT, in fact, all good all of the time.

I've Gotta Be ME...

unless I'm Rod Stewart, or Miley Cyrus, or Debbie Harry, or Paul Simon's worst nightmare. The contestants were surprisingly rebellious this week against Jimmy Iovine and his cohort (is it Will I. AM?) in choosing what they were going to sing from the movies. Perhaps they were just a little miffed when they learned that 9th place PiA (hereinafter referred to as St. PiA) had already been offered a record deal by Iovine and was rushing to record her songs (at least a single) to be released before the season ends, thereby stealing the thunder of the contestants America actually voted for. In prior years, the winner's single and album is usually released first.

But, as I have been learning from reading the official AI forums this week, St. PiA is an exception to every rule. She is going to win a grammy next year (at least one), Streisand is livid to be upstaged by the greatest voice since...well recording history. Mariah is in full on post-partum or pre-partum depression. Whitney's NA sponsor hasn't left her side, and after St. PiA's version of River Deep Mountain High, Tina Turner won't leave the house, she is so ashamed. Obama was even considering a statue that will mandate that instead of pledging allegiance to the flag (in those few schools who still do so) school children will be pledging allegiance to PiA. He has reconsidered and instead has asked St. PiA to record a song about HIM....something along the lines of *To Obama with love, St. PiA*. St. PiA responded that a better song might be *My Obama Will Go On* since she didn't get an opportunity to sing *My Heart Will Go On* tonight and really shove Celine's face in the dirt.

So maybe some of the contestants thought...hey...I WILL do it my way since the prize for the winner has already been awarded to St. PiA, so might as well take charge of my destiny here. Some of them did not, and in my opinion, their performances suffered for it.

So to assess the situation post- St. PiA here we go.

Paul comes out in yet another flowered suit (does he know it makes him look like a complete dork?) and jumps around while growling a Bob Seeger song (one of my favorites) with Rod Stewart's phrasing. I thought the sax player was the only redeeming part of this fiasco but the judges ate it up. I don't get the Paul love.

I do get the Lauren love, even if I don't approve of it, and she was smart to Kristy Lee Cook it tonight by singing a song the teens will love and then relating it to her own personal *climb* of 4 months. She was pandering for St. PiA's votes via her pimp Iovine (even if she won't admit it) and it will probably work. I didn't get Jennifer's comment about the *tear* in Lauren's voice. I will grant that she sang the song better than Miley Cyrus but that is not saying a heck of a lot as far as I'm concerned.

Stefemo has had a bad week. First of all, he is viewed by many as the agent of St. PiA's martyrdom at the hands of the rabble who threw her to the lions (or at least to a nice little recording deal with Iovine). Reports are he was getting hate mail of the worst kind. The demand that he quit the contest so St. PiA can come back was one of the kindest things thrown at him by St. PiA's outraged acolytes. I've got to say, I was proud of him tonight. I don't like his melismatic Pukealetta style but he did do the best performance I have ever seen him do and I have to admit he moved me an inch or two.

Oh...Scotty! What a kick! He calls Iovine *dude*. I'd like to think that is his way of subtley saying: *Look...you gave the prize away already so don't expect me to kiss your ass anymore and if you don't sign me someone else will.* I love *Everybody's Talking At Me* but you know, I think Scotty was right to stick to George Strait. Midnight Cowboy was a great movie, the song is a great song, and Glen Campbell is wonderful, but I'm not sure that Scotty's audience even KNOWS that song and certainly doesn't know that the movie was about a male prostitute and a consumptive homeless man (and they wouldn't care if they did). Maybe someone gave Scotty the heads up on the movie and he realized the backround of that song was just too morose and dark for his personality. Good job for Scotty but not a showstopper.

Casey basically pokes a finger in Iovine's eye and says *I'm doing Nature Boy, so shut up*. I love Nat King Cole. I think I would have loved the performance if I didn't have to watch the stupid faces Casey made while singing it. So at the end I was left completely conflicted. The judges loved it but they probably didn't see the close ups of Caseys face that the TV audience did. I suspect if I heard it without having to look at Casey, I would be impressed.

Well no love for Haley tonite from ANYBODY, including Iovine who phoned in his mentoring session and didn't tell her the song wasn't a good choice. She said she had a hard time choosing a song, which meant she didn't love the song she chose and it showed in her performance. She is getting the brunt of the St. PiA backlash, because when St. PiA's elimination was announced, Haley was looking around the audience and sort of half smiling instead of prostating herself in sorrow. So Randy hates her again and JLo and Steven agree with him. Haley is now cast as Camilla Parker-Bowles to St. PiA's Princess Diana. She is the *other woman* who stole the prize away from the beloved one (or at least was left standing for awhile longer). In addition, she and Casey are a couple (I thought what she was doing in the elimination was trying to get Casey's attention), which further ticks off St. PiA's worshippers because the save was *wasted* on Casey. According to one very verbose an illiterate poster on the forum, St. PiA's cousin hates Haley. Just thought I would share that with you.

Jacob, at this point, does not know whether to poop or go blind which pretty much describes the faces he makes when he sings). Iovine lectured him for his preaching at the audience (good the more people who are reminded of that the better). Chastened, he accepts Bridge Over Troubled Water like a whipped dog, even though it is only slightly less corny than *To Dream the Impossible Dream* or *I'll Never Walk Alone*. And I thought he butchered the song and my ears hurt on those last three notes that the judges found so amazing.

Oh...I just heart James. Do you know that he sends drawings in his replies to fan letters? Several of his fans have posted pictures of the letters and drawings he has sent back to them. He also defied Iovine and good for him. Metal is NOT my thing at all. I'm to the point where he can do whatever he wants and I'll enjoy it. He just seems like a happy guy!

So...who will be in bottom three? I think Paul and Jacob should be. I think Haley has a good chance of being on the stools and perhaps Casey because people didn't get what he was up to. Paul seems to have a lot of fans though. I hope Stefemo is not in the bottom three after he gave so much of himself tonight. I don't want him to win the thing, but he deserves to get an early safe call for what he endured in the past week AND for a great performance, even if it was Stefemo style.

Am interested to see KK's thoughts on the night. I do agree that at least we are getting a broad range of styles from the contestants and that the show is much more entertaining as a result. Also, I think that they had a bigger song selection (or were more pushy about getting new songs cleared) than in the past for this theme week. I really think I might have lost it if Paul did *Footloose*.

More Sober Reflection on Shocking Results

I'm so glad that KK mentioned the terrible entertainment last night. In the shock of seeing Jacob stay and Pia go, I forgot all about how horrible Constantine and Iggy Pop were. Iggy might not have a pot belly but 60 year old skin SAGS and should be covered up. I don't even know if I liked what he sang because all I could think of was how ridiculous a 60 year old man with saggy skin looked going shirtless. And I'm glad she pointed out how poor Stefemo was made to look the villian because he got more votes. This is the second time he was on the chopping block and the judges acted like he should have gone instead of the one who was voted off. I'm starting to root for him a bit.

Couple of Auntee theories as to why PiA got sent home. First, the judges have not been very critical of any of the contestants and so haven't *steered* the audience toward their favorite as Simon always did. I'm not sure this is a bad thing. Simon was not always right in my opinion. Second, I know everyone says its a singing competition but it is also an entertainment competition and Pia was just too type A to relax and have fun. The judges kept telling her to let go but she just could not. Steven commented after the results, that America needs to see passion but then realized he was being critical and backed away from it. Steven has stated he just cannot be too hard on these contestants because he has three daughters and does not want to crush their dreams. Maybe, however, had the judges been a LITTLE harder on Pia in the beginning (although Randy and Jennifer tried to tell her to get some passion) she would have let go and America would have loved her more.

I never thought she would win the whole thing but I do feel bad that she left before others I consider vastly inferior...like Lauren, Paul, Jacob, and Stefemo.

Oh well...life goes on.

Poor Stefano

I don't know which is worse - the fact that Pia got voted off before Paul, Jacob, Stefano or Lauren. Or, the fact that the judges made it VERY clear that they wished Stefano was going home.

I felt a little sorry for Stefano. They were clearly saying "you suck compared to her, you should be the one leaving"

But I also feel VERY sorry for Pia. It was wrong. And I'm betting the judges wish they would've saved the save for her.

All in all it was a really BAD night:

Constantine Something-or-rather butchered Unchained Melody.

Iggy Pop's scary, shirtless body flailed around the stage for what seemed like forever. I kept waiting for him to fall, or slam into a wall.

Jacob's stylist doesn't understand that overweigh people must NOT wear jeans that are too tight for them because of the muffin-top effect.

And my husband's girlfriend FINALLY wore a top where her boobs looked insane, and she gets voted off.

BOOOOO!

Mama Mia...we lost PiA! And kept that fat arrogant pile of drama queen Jacob. I very seldom yell at the TV. However, tonight, I suspect that drivers on Huntington could hear the boos coming from my front room as they sent Jacob to the couch. But the worst was yet to come.

How in the hell did it happen that Pia got less votes than weasel Paul, fat Jacob, and Stefemo...not to mention Lauren Alaina!

Well, I didn't vote for her. Maybe her lack of passion did her in. Or maybe something went haywire with the phone lines (I am convinced there is a plot to keep verizon calls from going through very often as the times I have tried to vote this year, I get busy signals all the time. That has never happened at this stage of the competition, even when I was voting for favorites like David Cook and Crystal.)

And..to top it all off...since I am banned from the boards because some asshat Jacob fan called me an idiot and I suggested the fan look in their own darn mirror (which I thought was a pretty restrained comeback)...I cannot even comment.

Well, the sun will come up tomorrow I suspect.

Chris Medina's love story is NOT going to waste

Even though AI can't milk the story of Chris Medina's disabled wife, he can do it himself.

www.tmz.com/2011/04/07/american-idol-rejects-contestants-rogue-concert-tour-chris-medina-tim-halperin-rob-bolin-juliana-recovery-fund-charity/

Tim Halperin's version of When A Man Loves A Woman puts Stefano's to shame:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbOQveFq7S8

I hope the tour does well, and that they raise lots of money for Juliana's care.

Creepy Wax Steven Tyler

I've been told I sound grumpy when I post (could it be the 4 hours of sleep at night?), but today is going to be a good day. Why? Because for the 1st time in YEARS of watching AI, I can honestly say that I really do enjoy ALL of the contestants. Last night was just a great show all around, and it's been fun to watch.

That said, somebody has to go. Worst to Best:

Jacob - I'm glad he changed songs because can you IMAGINE what those weird hip-thrusts would've looked like had he been singing Let's Get It On?!? Kris Allen killed Man In The Mirror, and I'll always compare it. It's a low-key song, and Jacob is ANYTHING BUT low key. If for no other reason, he needs to go home for his "if I'm in the bottom three, it's because America is afraid to look in the mirror" comment. WTF?

Paul - I still think he's hot, and quirky. And he might just be a little crazy, just like Johnny Cash was. But he's no Johnny Cash (who is probably rolling over in his grave right now.) For shame.

Stefano - I like his voice and he seems like a genuinely nice guy, but I can NOT get past the Pukaletta curse - Open Your Eyes, Kid!!! The judges said they felt emotion in his performance, but I felt the exact opposite. I actually wondered if he's ever loved a woman, because he was having trouble conveying it if he has.

Lauren - I get that the Jersey Shore poof is "in", but COME ON. Not cute. Natural Woman had some really good notes, but they couldn't make me forget about the 1st 1/2 of the song, which was just ... not good.

Scotty - I still love me some Scotty. But it felt karaoke to me. It felt like a little kid imitating his favorite singer.

Casey - I don't know why everybody is so down on the Growl, because I like it. I think he should Growl an entire song, it'd be awesome. I think the main reason why Casey is fantastic is because, like the judges said, he's a MUSICIAN. And even when he doesn't win AI (because he won't), I hope he goes on to have a career doing what he loves.

Pia - So, you sang up tempo ... give the girl a medal. Was it the earth shattering performance that the judges made it out to be? No. (I was really hoping to see a little more of the Tiny-Turner-Crazy in there - PIA is too straight to pull off that song.) Is she still REALLY. FRICKIN'. GOOD? Absolutely.

James Durbin - If you've been following me, you know I think he's overrated. But tonight's performance was nothing less than AMAZING. It's become a bit of a cliche, but I really did get goose bumps. I didn't even mind the ONE, controlled, scream at the end.

Haley - I've said it before, but my parents were hippies. So, I grew up listening to Janis Joplin and Piece of My Heart is the quintessential Joplin song, in my mind. Haley killed it, which is hard to do. I loved it.

Please, Please can Jacob go home?

One Trick Ponies Stand on Their Heads and Other Highlights

As far as I am concerned, they can do the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame theme every week except for the week they do the Rat Pack or 40's -50's theme. I didn't need closed caption tonight because I knew all the songs. All of the contestants chose good songs. That is not to say that all of the contestants sang those good songs well. A few of the *one trick ponies* pulled out new tricks tonight. In the spirit of shaking things up, I am going to comment on the performances from worst to best.

Last place finish in the pony race goes to Jacob. He was going to do *Lets Get It On* but realized his morals prevented him from doing a song about getting it on. So, he chose one of Michael Jackson's save the world songs, The Man in The Mirror. He reminded us, before he sang, that if we didn't like his performance or if he was in the bottom three (I guess it didn't occur to him he might go home), it was not his fault. No...it is OUR fault because we don't want to look in the mirror. There are reasons I do not want to look in the mirror, Jacob, but they have nothing to do with you or your singing and even less to do with starving children. And, you are hardly the poster child for starvation so I don't want to look at you much either. It was a boring performance highlighted somewhat strangely by Jacob simulating *getting it on* with his backround singer. Those hip thrusts were just ....odd. Sadly, the backround singer who was forced to simulate getting it on with Jacob was, in fact, the songwriter, if I understood Steven correctly. Sad indeed.

Eighth place goes to Paul. I have about had it with him. I suppose he thought that doing Johnny Cash was, for him, like a pony doing handstands, but it was just ridiculous. I started laughing half way through. I'm sorry, but singing really fast and really loud does not help when you are singing a song that requires a certain amount of depth to the voice which Paul's voice does not have. He looked like a monkey on crack. The guitar work (which he had lots of help with) was the only thing that made it remotely entertaining, and I mean remotely.

Casey comes in at number 7 singing Have You Ever Seen the Rain, which is a favorite of mine. He has a bass fiddle that he plays. This makes him a great musician. I thought his voice was thin and that he looked more scared than anything as he sang. Randy's reaction was over the top on this one. Maybe Casey deserved to be saved but, in my mind, this was a so/so performance of a really good song and it left me cold. The only trick here was that he only growled for half of the song.

Coming in at number six is our unnatural not woman Lauren. Christina Aguilera did her no favors on the styling, as her hair made her face look fatter and her dress made her butt look fatter. But I like fat girls (and she is not really fat at all), I just don't like her. It was OK, but not up to Crystal Bowersox and definitely not even 20% of Aretha or Carole King. No new tricks from Lauren but she has a huge fan base who have already enshrined her Candle in the Wind performance in their own little hall of fame (she is the new Princess Diana in her fans minds) so she will survive.

Stefemo didn't really do a new trick and perhaps I am giving him the number 5 slot, instead of a lower one, because he sang one of my all time favorite songs ever made. He does have a good voice but I wish he would stop closing his eyes and reminding me of Pukaletta. (For new readers...Pukaletta is David Archuletta).

PiA takes 4th place. Lots of hype for her tonight, because she is going to try to stand on her head and sing an up tempo song instead of a ballad. She sang it well, but I'm sorry...singing an up tempo song is not equivalent to curing cancer...no matter what the judges think.

Scotty does do a new trick and comes in 3rd. Singing Elvis was a little predictable as we have been told he loved to impersonate Elvis as a kid. I thought he might do one of Elvis's more country or slower songs. I missed some of his performance as Mr. Auntee chose that moment to interupt me and tell me about one of our cats litter box defilement. But, Scotty did rock it more than countrify it and so he gets some credit for standing on his head tonight. And he does know how to work the stage and the audience.

In a photo finish, James Durbin comes in 2nd. He may just be winning my heart. Its Rock and Roll week and James stands on his head and slows it down to, of all people, George Harrison! I think that song means something more to him than he revealed tonight but I don't really need to know what it is. I hope he stays around for a long time and if he wins this thing...I will not be unhappy.

Haley crosses the finish line first. As much as I love Me and Bobby McGee, Piece of My Heart is, to me the quintessential Joplin song. She sang it flawlessly and added a few Haley twists. My only criticism is that she is not Janis Joplin. She could have shown a little more pain but then, she is not Janis Joplin. Perhaps if Haley was strung out on heroin and had been laid and dumped by 100 or more guys, she could have brought the pain to the song that Janis did. I'm thinking I prefer less pain for her. Although she did not stand on her head tonight, she is the only contestant who has done a variety of songs from the beginning and didn't have to show me a new trick.

I have no idea how the voting will go. I tried to vote for James, Haley, and Scotty tonight and only got through a few times. In Auntee's world, the bottom three would be Paul, Jacob, and Casey with Paul going home.

Tiny Dancer Leaps and Rocket Man Fizzles

*You Won't Believe Who is Going Home* said the opening credits. Nice try producers, but it didn't take a rocket scientist or a rocket man to predict that Naima and Thia had about a 99.5% chance of going home. I was a little surprised that Stefemo out did Paul, but not particularly unhappy about it. I liked Stefemo better than Paul last night even if it is sort of like saying I like Velveeta better than the nutty cheese balls.

The highlight of tonight's entertainment was Scotty and Lauren. Yes, I know. I still don't like Lauren. But Scotty made her sound better. I liked the concept of grouping them up but other than the Scotty/Lauren duo, the rest of the groups were better in concept than in execution...even Band on the Run.

I didn't watch the show Fantasia's season. I take it she has had a tough time since her Idol win what with her moocher family draining all her money and men troubles etc. Good for her she won a Grammy and is on some sort of comeback. That said, as one fat lady to another, I think I would advise her to avoid songs centering on food. And to get a better hairstyle. But she did give the contestants good advice.

Too bad about the Idol mansion leaking and believe it or not I DID feel bad when Lauren fell down the stairs. I don't want bad things to happen to her...except for getting sent home.

No solid word on what the theme next week will be...maybe classic rock songs or songs from the 100 best songs of all time or something.

Now, if you all want to see some real musical talent, I encourage you to check out a group called the Kelley Family on Youtube. com. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwzBuN7jfjw. They are sort of like the Phelps family but they sing.

Equally Mediocre

This is an interesting season for me because (1) I don't have an absolute favorite, and (2) I don't have an absolute nemesis. Each contestant has their good/bad moments, which is boring.

Best to Worst

Haley - Benny! Benny! Benny! Haley's voice has always been unique (which doesn't get much play from the judges), but last night she demonstrated just how interesting she can be. And she got off of that piano in a tight dress without flashing anything, which puts her in my top spot on its own! Absolutely fabulous!

Casey - Just when you thought he had his Hicks impressions in the bag, he goes and totally redeems himself. It doesn't hurt that Your Song is one of my all-time favorite Elton John songs. But Casey made it beautiful by singing it straight, limiting the growling and the weird dancing, and how could I not comment on his new appearance - he's actually pretty good looking when he's not imitating a homeless person!

Lauren Alaina - Oh, yeah, Tee ... this says what you think it says. Finally Lauren stepped away from the booty-shaking performances and just sang with what turned out to be a rather lovely voice.

Scotty - I love how he looked at the song list, saw "Country" and went for it. I've never heard this song, and I have trouble imagining Elton John singing it, but Scotty did pretty well. The shout out to Grandma WAS cheezy, and Grandma got WAY too much camera time.

Stefano - I can't decide if I actually liked his performance, or if I just really like Tiny Dancer and thought Stefano's make-over was awesome. He looked handsome (except what's with the tennis shoes with the suit?), and sang my other favorite Elton John song.

Pia - Zzzzzzz ... oh, sorry, I fell asleep there for a second. The female Pukaletta. Ballad after ballad after ballad. Good voice, but if she has an ounce of creativity, she has yet to show it. Boring.

Durbin - He lit a piano on fire, which was fun. And I do agree with Tee that he genuinely LIKES what he's doing. He has fun, which makes me smile. That's all I've got.

Speaking of cheezy shout-outs ... Paul - "Sing Rocket Man like an encore" could not have meant less to Paul, apparently. Because he basically whispered it beyond recognition.

Naima - Once I got over the fact that she was faking a Jamaican accent, I sort of liked the musical part. Just not her singing. Or her dancing. Or her outfit. Or the fact that she FAKED AN ACCENT.

Jacob - At least he didn't sing "Can You Feel The Love Tonight", which is about the only good thing about his performance. I would go see him on Broadway (assuming I get to go to Broadway someday), but that's it, because it'd be a cold day in hell before I'd buy his CD or see him in concert. Also, I do a KILLER Jacob imitation after a few glasses of wine!

Thia - My brother moved away? THAT'S what you're going with? Seriously? Daniel died in a war. Nice try though, pagent queen. Your stage parents should've coached you better than that.

She's Got Electric Boobs!

OK, I know the correct words are She's Got Electric Boots but I'm not sure I would know that if I didn't have closed caption on my TV. (Credit to the writers of *27 Dresses* for the electric boobs line). Like all of Bernie Taupin's lyrics, its easy to mix the words up on *Bennie and the Jets* and hard to figure out what they mean unless you have the album liner or closed caption in front of you when you are listening to them. Or maybe its just me. Why do I have closed caption you ask? Well, I like to watch Gordon Ramsey whose accent I don't understand very well unless he is being bleeped so one day I asked Mr. Auntee to put the closed caption on to watch Hell's Kitchen and now I cannot figure out how to take it off. And it comes in handy sometimes, like tonight.

First, a confession, I actually voted tonight for the first time since the top 13 were announced. Not obsessively (the lines were too busy for that). I know who I want to go home tomorrow and I have a prediction about who will go home tomorrow, but I am not very confident in my prediction and I KNOW my wishes about who goes home will not come true.

Scotty gets the death slot. So called, because people generally forget the #1 performer. Perhaps the performance order is part of the nefarious plot to undermine Scotty with the voters, but it will fail. Particularly after that performance. Scotty went back to his proper and amazing low range and killed it. I didn't know this song but when the forum people said Scotty should sing it (the only *country* song Elton John ever did evidently), I went to Youtube to hear Elton sing it. Elton was just pretending he was singing a country song. Scotty not only made this song his own, he made it a country song. And how about not buckling to Jimmy Iovine and singing the verse to his grandma. I suppose shouting out to grandma could have come off as cheesy. For some reason, it just seemed very natural and Scotty to me. And, I got tears in my eyes I was so proud of him! This was before I poured my wine for the evening too.

Well, Naima, I think you have about a 75% chance or greater of not still standing on the stage next week. Gotta give her credit for taking chances. She is just going to do what she wants to do. I actually liked the Reggae. The judges did not. So, probably America will not. She is, in my opinion, the most purely beautiful in appearance of the women this year. But, I think she is probably going home and in the bottom three for sure.

The forum junkies predicted that Paul would sing *Your Song*. He sang *Rocket Man* instead. I don't think he carried off what he was trying to do. He listened to Randy last week, so he did his *tender voice* (a little too much.) I still think him coming out and saying *how are y'all tonight* is cheesier than those cheese balls you see on buffet tables that are covered with nuts that no one ever eats. Basically I was bored. I would not have wanted to attend the concert that preceded this encore performance. I would send him home for never living up to the expectations I had for him at the beginning and his generally cheesy, skinny, weasleness. I think he will stay at least another week.

PiA sings another ballad. Very well too, although can someone tell these contestants to ditch the choir in the robes? I loathe them. They add nothing to anyone's performance who can actually sing (although they carried Lee DeWyze to the title last year). I still am not in love with her but admire her technical abilities. She is going to sing River Deep Mountain High next week (which I gather from Youtube was recently performed on Glee) made famous by Tina Turner 20 plus years before PiA was born, but also sung by...wait for it...CELINE DION! So..I'm not sure if the theme next week is the 60s, Tina Turner, Celine Dion, or sons recently sung on Glee, but we will be getting some up tempo from PiA (with, I predict, about as much excitement as the rag doll mentioned in the first line of the song). But...I want PiA to stay in. One of these days, I'm going to be voting my little fingers off for her.

Stefemo does Tiny Dancer, another song which I appreciated having closed caption for. He was fine. He kept his eyes open. He put out his hand to Jlo. I'm basically indifferent to Stefemo. I'm thinking maybe there are others in America who agree with me and he might find himself in the bottom 3 again.

And NOW, singing the BEST SELLING SINGLE IN THE WORLD...comes Lauren Alaina. I had said on the forums that if someone sang Candle In the Wind I would throw up (many were very excited about the prospect of their favorite singing this song...especially the *Princess Di* version...what with the Royal Wedding coming up and all). Well, thanks to the fact that Elton John will never let anyone sing the *Princess Di* version ever again (a fact which the forum people were not thrilled to learn from me), we were spared that maudlin spectacle. Unfortunately, we were not spared the twangy, calf bleating, countrified breathy version sung by Lauren Alaina. I don't know why the judges like her. The only saving grace tonight it was it was a difficult song for her to do her normal lap dancing moves to the judges with. But she made up for that by her outfit and *shaking it up* in the commentary. Silly little calf. I know that one day I am going to be dialing my fingers to the bone for PiA so that PiA knocks her out of the competition.

Everyone predicted James would do Saturday Night is All Right For Fighting (another song I'm glad I had closed caption for). This kid just makes me smile. I know KK thinks he is Adam Lambert II but I don't agree. I'm not even a big rock fan. He just makes me smile and I think its because he just loves doing whatever he is doing out there and its infectious.

Oh Thia...she made me cry too but my wine glass was 3/4 empty by that time. Yes, she is robotic and pageanty. Yes, I didn't like her at the beginning. Now, she just breaks my heart. Her voice is wonderful. She is just too young (and perhaps too stage parented) for this experience. Unlike Lauren, she cannot pull off a *oh...aren't I just so young and sassy and clueless* persona. I liked how she mentioned her older brother but WHY don't these kids do a little bit of googling as to a song's history. This song is about a wounded and disillusioned Viet Nam veteran (or perhaps one KIA whose body is on the way to Spain from Nam), not some guy going off to college. Bottom three I think, although I voted for her once or twice out of empathy.

Casey redeems himself singing Your Song. He can actually sing and not growl. I think Casey thinks a lot of himself. I think he got a wake up call last week. He is not going to be showing off how edgy he is anymore. This week he picks the Elton John song EVERYONE knows and loves and plays it straight. A nice job and he won't be in the bottom three. I don't think I can vote for him though...if you want to know why, check out the latest on votefortheworst.com about his propensity to send phone pix to women. The rumor may not be true. But why take a chance when I like Scotty and James so much more?

Jacob has worn out whatever favor I had for him. He looked like he was in agony tonight singing that song and I couldn't help but think perhaps he had a case of severe constipation and stomach cramps. Tone down the queening, preening camp Jacob, or you will be going home in a couple of weeks.

Hailey (Haley) sings Bennie and the Jets! She must have had a lot of votes last week because Randy doesn't hate her anymore. I don't think it was necessarily the best performance of the night but it was in the top three or four along with Scotty and James. Lots more interesting than PiA. And, I sorta thought, she could BE Bennie with electric boobs or boots and a mohair suit! I hope she is safe this week. I bet Lauren pouted up a storm when Steven said Hailey sings sexy.

I am glad that the producers are letting the contestants do a little more of their own in terms of interacting with the audience ala Scotty and Naima doing shout outs (even cheese ball Paul) and Stefemo holding out his hand to Jennifer. Simon would never have stood for those stage tricks, but then who misses Simon?

So...prediction as to bottom three? Naima, Stefemo, and Thia. Maybe Jacob as I think he is wearing pretty thin at this point. Who do I WANT to go home? Lauren, Lauren and Lauren.

Hicks-alike is Staying Alive

Casey, Casey, Casey. I like him. A lot. I don't want to see the resemblance to Taylor Hicks. Do they both growl? Yeah. Do they both do weird dancing? Yeah. But Casey is awesome and Taylor Hicks is lame.

Plus, do you really think a save used on Taylor Hicks would've been so emotional? I teared up. Seriously. He was genuinely thrilled and surprised ... but he was the only one ... because everybody else knew he'd be saved!

I needed to post because Tee and I disagree on some things. My husband tells me that I was "off", and that I wasn't hearing things right (because I disagree with him, too). But here's my take on Motown Week:

I don't get it:

Jacob. He seems like a nice guy, but would you really buy a CD with his over-the-top, theatrical, drama-songs? Reuben Studdard anybody? The judges are constantly fawning over him, my husband puts him in the top performers every time, Tee loves him. I must be missing something.

Durbin. He's okay, for a Lambert wanna be. But he's Lambert minus creativity. We get it, you're a rocker. Next.

Naima dancing. Weird. I mean, I guess she's talented. So, go on America's Got Talent. What happened to "this is a singing competition"?

Bad raps

Lauren Alaina wasn't horrible. I actually kind of liked her little performance (but was again uncomfortable with her rubbing up on the judges).

And Scotty did Motown right, I thought. Even put a little country twist into it. And what's with the wink and the nod into the camera, Scotty? You know you're a cute little thing, don't you?

Steffano is actually really good. Does he close his eyes (a move that has previously driven me insane - Pukaletta)? Yeah. He lacks a little emotion, too, I guess. But he's got a beautiful voice and seems like a great kid. (Disclaimer: His lack of creativity will get boring fast.)

Pia - I agree with the judges that she needs to get over the ballads.

Next to go (in KK's world)

Thia botched the words and was appropriately scolded for it by being (hopefully) knocked down a peg and sent to the stools. You're not invincible, pretty little pagent girl.

And just a quick comment on Hottie Paul. I haven't researched this myself, but have it on good authority that he has a band, who has songs for sale on iTunes, and they're decent songs. Is that fair? I don't know. But I'm sure some voters will get wind of it and think it's not.

Let's Give Scotty a Double Whammy!

Not content with making Scotty's life hard with Motown week, Idol producers have once again selected a *theme* for next week. It is Elton John week! I have nothing against Elton John other than the words to his songs make no sense and no one even knows what half of them are, but I do know a nefarious plot when I see one! I'm only half-kidding.

I only hope we are spared Lauren singing *The Bitch is Back*.

Oh What A Night!

At about 6:20 pm tonight, on day 6 of a terrible cold/infection/whatever illness that is resisting all remedies known to man, I was dozing on the couch and thinking *hmm...if I fall asleep before Idol, I can always catch up on Hailey's elimination later...who cares about a stupid Ford video?*. Fortunately, little J called to check on my well-being and got me awake enough to turn on tonight's result show.

First, let me say, I'm thrilled the illness has sapped my predictive powers. Hailey is going on Tour! She wasn't even in the bottom three. Somewhere in America, enough honest souls saw she was getting the shaft and rallied to her cause!

Nygel Lythgoe tweeted this am that tonight would have some shocking news. Nygel is a big drama queen so most of the hard-core fans thought they would probably be announcing something like the Idols moving into a new mansion (the old one apparently leaked like a sieve and they had to move out this week..so much for 5 million dollar houses in LA) or that Simon Cowell will make a guest appearance as a mentor next week. No one thought it would be a shock elimination (including me...but when considered what a shocking elimination would consist of...I thought Casey...believe me or not).

But the show was so packed with out of the ordinary stuff...Stevie Wonder surprising at least one judge (Steven Tyler)...Steven's birthday song...Hulk Hogan knocking Ryan off the stage after the James/Paul WWE preview, I was pretty sure Nygel's shock had already occurred. Not to mention a new mentor in the form of Marc Anthony (aren't he and JLo the nicest people in the world? I never knew that about them and hope they live happily ever after).

The dim the lights moments went pretty much according to plan at first, and I do like the way Ryan is not milking the suspense so much this year. I cannot remember who they sent to safety first, Naima or Hailey, but I was glad that they did not make either of them suffer the suspense for a long time.

I was not terribly surprised to see Thia in the bottom three as she is just boring even though her voice is good. Obviously, Jason wasn't going to be there. So...we get Stefemo and Casey and I'm thinking Casey is going to be sent right back to the couch and we would have to endure another emo performance from Stefemo. I was just thinking it was a bad week for the Emo family since Gordan Ramsey dissed his mother's pasta last night, and suddenly Casey is standing there all by himself. Randy is ready to storm the stage, JLo is in shock and Steven is shaking his head probably thinking someone slipped him some drugs as he is now in some alternate universe. Stefemo hugs and cries on Casey way too long, Naima looks pissed as hell, andJames has a full blown Tourette's attack (bless his heart).

Casey bravely starts growling his song, his parents are hugging each other with tears in their eyes, and Randy STOPS THE SHOW! Let there be no doubt who is the judge in charge here. And I knew the save was on.

Which is not, in my opinion, a mistake. A mistake would have been saving Stefemo or Thia or Lauren. At least now they cannot use it to save Lauren.

Jlo, gives Casey some good advice. Stop the growling. Ironically, the growling saved Hailey this week. Oh well. Art is not consistent.

So, all eleven will go on tour which is not a problem for me given that Lauren was NEVER going to be cut out of the top 10 and that I will not see the tour in any event.

A note on the guest artists (other that Stevie). The woman's voice in Sugarland went through me like a knife. Jennifer Hudson was great but wouldn't the song be just as effective if instead of the bad grammar *Where You At?* refrain, the refrain was *Where Are You?* Just sayin'.



Next week two go home.

Pick A Theme to Screw Scotty (aka Motown Week).

I love Motown. I just wish the producers motives had not been so transparent in choosing Motown this week. At some point, the producers announced they would not do theme weeks this season, so each contestant could *be who they are*. Evidently, they changed their mind. Perhaps because one contestant is running away with the competition?

I predicted in a post on the AI forums Casey would do Grapevine. The music advisors wisely told him to slow down the Nirvana train he did not want to jump off of yet and it came off pretty well. I must confess, his growling is getting a bit tiresome. Not really a *moment*, but not bad either. Or so my notes said. By the end of the show I had pretty much forgotten about Casey.

I also predicted Thia would do something more up tempo and be praised for her growth. Sadly, she brought about as much heat to the wave as an ice cube. She also messed up the words. Which was not mentioned.

I predicted Jacob just might take to the invisible wires in a tutu with wings and soar above the audience this week. He did so metaphorically. Ryan prolongs his moment of glory by having a bunch of girls come up and hug him. Which sort of steals some time and thunder away from the next contestant, Lauren. I guess Ryan is paying her back for trying to get him sick last week. Don't mess with Ryan, contestants...he can be your best friend or your worst enemy.

I thought Lauren might do a ballad. No, she just does what she wants to do and always does...a song that she can sex up and shake her head and butt about on and go make eyes at the judges with...every..single...week. I wish she would stop hanging on. I am certainly not keeping her hanging on. I want her to LET GO...far away. She said people have been saying mean things about her online. I guess that would be me because from what I can tell she is universally beloved by the entire Idol Forum Board. I have actually not said bad things about her on the board for fear of being stalked and shot.

Stefemo (my name is getting more and more appropriate for him as even the Jimmy guy said he is pure emotion...or the song is..or something). He says he will keep his eyes open but he cannot. Before Stefemo sings, Ryan reminds the crowd that David Cook had a moment with this song in his season. I knew then this was going to be another overwrought performance and that Stefemo has ticked Ryan off in some way.

Hailey does You Really Got A Hold On Me. She is basically told *you might as well do whatever the hell you want to do because your going home anyway*. She comes out and gives it her best shot and we see her voice go all over the place. I liked it even if it was also overwrought, but it is too late for Hailey. She has been trashed for the last 3 weeks and has no fan base.

Oh Scotty.... I love you Scotty but that wasn't really very good and you probably should not have tried to country it up. I hoped you would sing My Girl. I thought the judges would be harder on him than they were. The joke appears to be on Scotty haters, however. According to DialIdol.com he is running away with the votes. He is safe but he has lost some momentum which was what this week is designed to do.

PiA sings another ballad. Altogether now, to the tune of I Am Woman let us sing: *Yes I sing high notes and Yes I sing on key. Yes I sing Celine but tonight I'll sing Stevee. I am loud, I am beautiful, I am PIAAAAA!*

Paul says Motown makes him want to move. Thats all we need is more movement from Paul. He sings a classic Tracks of My Tears just like Rod Stewart would sing it (and probably did) but forgets to move. He pronounces the words *with you* as *witchoo*. The judges loved it. Especially the last three notes where he was *tender*. And no one can confuse him with ANYONE else (except for Rod Stewart).

Naima wants to dance. She made a wise choice with her song and managed to sing it on key I think. But its a happy song and she looked happy singing and dancing to it so go Naima!

Finally, James Durbin. I think he is amazing.

Worst performance of the night? Lauren Alaina (oh, ok, it was probably Scotty). Going home? Hailey.

Spoiler!

Motown Theme next week. Guess Scotty is getting too many votes for the producer's comfort so they are changing their original plan of *no theme weeks* in order to even the playing field. Vote for Scotty this week in protest!

Karen Flames Out

This elimination did not bring me the joy that last week's elimination did. Especially when Karen sang Hero and I remembered that she can sing very well and can be rather moving when she does. Sadly, she couldn't sing Hero every week. Poor song choices, nerves, or whatever, caught up with her...plus entirely too much pimping of PiA and Thea and Lauren.

The Idols started out with Born to Be Wild...a marvelous song. I was really enjoying it until they threw in that other song...whatever it was. Makes you wonder if that Jimmy guy is really the genius he is hyped up to be, assuming he was responsble for that very odd juxtaposition.

Lee De Wyze sings again. And goes off pitch in the middle of the song. How did this guy win again? Oh yeah..last wgwg standing. Nice guy, though.

The Black Eyed Peas sing the same melody all the time only with different words. I guess it is the new fad to infuse a rap song with a woman singing an actual melody with coherent lyrics and alternating that with rap crap that has nothing to do with the lyrics sung by the woman. I'm not a fan. Not to mention that the song was auto-tuned and reverberated all to heck.

My prediction accuracy is beginning to scare me. At this point, I don't have a real favorite so it is kind of fun to sit back and just watch what they all do each week. I'm not even voting. I'm sort of rooting for Hailey and Naima to pull it out next week, but I'm pretty sure they will not. One of them is going home next week.

It Was a Year (continued)

Now that my tummy is full of pancakes and scrambled eggs, I can focus better. Perhaps it was the hunger last night, but I thought the entire program lacked energy. And that the judges were trying to manufacture energy as they went along. Of course, some of the contestants were sick. And a lot of song were from the 80s, which is not a decade of pop music I know well. So here is my recap...admittedly colored by my mood and musical ignorance.

Naima does Tina Turner. Her voice just isn't strong enough for Tina and it was not a barnstorming performance. The judges said she was pitchy and I had to agree even though I don't normally hear pitchy when the judges do as I do NOT have perfect pitch. I think she will be in trouble this week.

Paul has a cold. Rumor has it he also has a nodule or nodules on his vocal cords which demand surgery but he is putting it off. Which may or may not account for his unique raspy voice. I like Elton John and I like that song. I don't like Paul coming out and saying *how ya all doing* and throwing other shoutouts to the audience in the middle of his songs. That is just cheesy. He still is jumping around in an unattractive manner. To me he is getting worse every week. And I wanted to like him.

Thea does Vanessa Williams (isn't this a song from Pocohontas?). The song was age appropriate and her voice is crystal clear and on key but once again she looked like she was in a beauty pageant (ala Miss Williams). I was glad that Randy agreed with me on the pageant point. I don't get what a fox howling at a blue corn moon has to do with the earthquake in Japan and the slaughter of Libyan citizens but I suppose she meant well in trying to choose a song that had something to do with *what is going on in the world*. I used to not like her. Now I have sympathy for her. She also wrote a song called *And I Will Always Love You* when she was six and before she heard of Whitney Houston. Believe that if you want to do so. But, evidently she still hasn't heard of Dolly Parton. Sort of like Charlie *Chapman*.

James Durbin does Bon Jovi and Steven is worried he is getting too poppy. I didn't get what Steven meant by poppy...but later it dawned on me that he thought James might be going too far away from rock. James makes a HUGE blunder by talking about what he is going to sing in the finale. America is now thinking he is not only poppy but poppy-cocky and it may cost him some votes. He needs to humble down a bit.

Hailey does Whitney. Last week Jennifer said Hailey should do pop so Hailey does pop and Randy still hates her. She was a little affected in her mannerisms and should have sung a better known song but I didn't think she was THAT awful. She is in trouble though...for some reason no one likes her. I'm wondering if she is not working as hard as the others because the Jimmy guy said *it all comes down to work ethic* and if that is what is driving the Hailey hate train from the producers and Randy. Who knows? If she isn't gone this week, she will probably be gone the next week and that is too bad because she is the only girl who has a voice that interests me in the slightest.

Stefano considered Milli Vanilli but opted for some other guy whose name I have forgotten and sang an emo version of If You Don't Know Me by Now. I think it would have been a hoot if he had done Milli Vanilli...who themselves didn't do Milli Vanilli! Like Thea he evidently knows no music history. Even I know that Milli Vanilli didn't sing their songs. I'm tired of him and his over the top emotional mannerisms. From now on, he is Stefemo to me.

PiA sang Whitney Houston (of course). A little bit more up tempo than her usual Whitney Houston/Celine Dione ballads. Well sung. I just don't like her belting style. Will she do Mariah next week? The suspense is killing me!

Scotty sings Travis Tritt and in the interest of growth abandons his extraordinary lower register which just makes his performance ordinary. Go back to singing low Scotty.

Karen doesn't want to be known as just a Spanish singer. I don't remember what song she sang but it wasn't by Selena. She also sung part of it in Spanish. So we would know that she is not just a Spanish singer. Seriously, this was her best performance so far but it was also not extraordinary. And I don't mind her singing in Spanish...just don't double talk us.

Casey Abrams takes a big risk and does Nirvana and for some reason is allowed to play his bass. Oh Casey. I don't know about this. I think you might have lost some old ladies out there. I loved his parents though. They were a HOOT! Sometimes I do want to tell Casey to chill out a bit.

And here comes our little ray of sunshine Lauren Alaina singing I'm the Only One a fitting song for her personality as she thinks she is the One (evidently she hasn't heard of Obama). She has the flu so she comes out and gives hands Ryan a face mask that has been balled up in her germy paws and expects him to put it on. How cute! She sings like she normally does (a baby cow) and then to be especially cute, fake coughs on Ryan as he is giving the audience her numbers...*just kidding*....yeah get Ryan sick you little self-centered brat. If I were Ryan, I would stay 5 feet away from her for the remainder of her stay on Idol.

And Jacob comes on to sing Alone by Heart, which is the very last song I would ever have expected him to sing. And he is so over the top with it, I'm surprised he didn't have some sort of platform taking him to the stars. I'm losing some love for Jacob. Although his mother was funny.

So...I was NOT impressed last night with anyone in particular. I don't think anyone had a very good year.