I'm still a Rockstar (on the train to crazy-ville)

Best to Worst:

Ashton, Karen, Naima, Thia, Pia & Paul - Hysterical! The girls are so focused on strutting around in trampy leather outfits that they forget to sing the 1st verse on key. And then the doors open up and Paul comes stumbling out in his token stupid-flower-suit like a drunken monkey.

Pia's belting out her Mariah/Whitney/Celine notes,
Thia's giving the pagent faux-smile,
Naima is "yeah, yeahing" it up,
Ashton's wagging her diva head around, and
Karen's faux-flashing her Latina boobs by opening up her leather vest over and over.
All the while Paul is trying not to flail off the stage.

None of them care that they're not singing *with* each other, or that they're not singing on-key. "So What" was the funniest thing I've seen on Idol in a long time. I spent the entire performance cracking up.

What? They weren't trying to be funny? Oh, then it's just sad.


As for the contestants who really might be rockstars someday, Best to Worst:

James Durbin - What?!? KK likes James Durbin?!? Hell yeah I did. I'd even download that performance, which is saying something since I really am not a "rocker". Drummers were a bit weird, as was the dominatrix wand thing. But the vocals were incredible. Incredible!

Casey - I sort of wished he would've changed up the song a little more ala-David Cook, because he absolutely could have. But I'm a Maroon 5 fan, and I'm a Casey fan. And although I was a little creeped out when he was leaning into JLo, the kiss made me squeal with delight.

Haley - I think she looked absolutely gorgeous, for starters. And she did Adele justice with Rolling In The Deep, for sure. It *is* her niche, and she's found it, and she's good at it. I was annoyed that Randy had to struggle so hard to compliment her, but I'm glad she finally got the praise she deserved.

Scotty - Barely. After the clip of the contestants making fun of the microphone holding, it's ALL I could focus on. Frankly, it annoyed the hell out of me. As did the eyebrow waggle and side-mouth-singing. Swinging was boring. Dare I say "karoke". 'Course, he's not going anywhere.

Lauren Alana - Has really wised up with her song choices and her personality make over. Last week she pandered to St. Pia's and tweens with the Miley ballad, this week she tried to swing the massive country audience back her way. Even though it wasn't the best performance of hers, she's *competing* brilliantly.

Stefano - You're kidding, right? First the clip about him being a flirt and a ladies man had me in hysterics. And watching him strut around the stage like he was in some seedy club strip club trying to get the ladies to shove $1 into his too-tight pants, just put me over the top. I like Closer, it's a sexy song. Stefano was the opposite of sexy tonight bordering on crazy-town.

Jacob - Realized he might be slipping and pulled out the Dead-Father card. Well played. I loved that he screwed up, I loved that he got a bit of negative criticism. Those were the only non-boring parts of the performance.


Botton 3 will be: Haley, Casey, Stefano

Who *should* go home: Jacob (but he won't, because his dad is dead.)


Also, my boyfriend David Cook is coming back tonight and I could not BE more excited. He's the 1st Idol I truly loved. Swoon.

Opinion Deficit Disorder

I'm eager to see what KK has to say about tonight's show because I have no strong opinions about any of the performances tonight (the performers are another matter...I'm down but not out). Maybe it is because the songs were from the 21st century and I quit listening to popular music in 1982. I don't know these songs and I had a hard time deciding if the performances were good or bad...but I did see some ugly.

First they bring out the retreads to sing a song about not being losers when everyone knows they all are. America voted NOT to see these people again, even the precious St. PiA. I am thoroughly sick of her and her fans. Please make her go AWAY! Not likely, as it seems she has hired a publicist to make sure she gets more press than Kate Middleton. Her latest press release is that she plans to develop a clothing and fragrance line bearing her name. Because you know, she finished NINTH on a show which has produced barely three household names in the past 10 years. Don't you know that Posh Spice, Victoria Beckham is quaking in her Jimmy Choos at the prospect of competition from PiA. I'm thinking she may be one of those people who is really sweet to the people she wants to impress and really mean to those she considers beneath herself...in other words, a Queen B... and that Haley knew what she was doing when she *smirked* at her demise. And of course, they highlighted her 3 second *duet* with Paul in the number which sounded like nails on a chalkboard. I will let you all decide who had the nails and who had the chalkboard but a duo make in heaven it was NOT.

Oh..sorry...are there other people on American Idol this year besides St. PiA? Well yes, as a matter of fact, a few mortals remain to gain America's votes.

My poor sweet Scotty. The knives are out for him. The word is out that he is getting two votes to his nearest competitor's one and leaving the rest in the dust. They give him the death spot for the 2nd time and the judges and Jimmy tell the audience to quit thinking about him because it should be tired of him. To his credit, he did try to change it up, picked a song done by a woman and toned down the country, but it was a lightweight song. Which the J's inform me was first done in 1980 by someone named John Anderson and remade by Leeann Rimes in the 2000s. Bad decision on his part. He needed a tearjerker tonight to overcome the death spot and the judge's and Jimmy's instructions to write him off. iTo show I am in a equally dissatisfied mood with all the contestants, I will say Scotty can tone down the eyebrow raising about 1/3.

My other sweetheart, James probably had the best performance of the night. The drums were a bit over the top but I'm pretty sure Adam Lambert wishes he had thought of that. But tonight was not my favorite performance of his and for the first time I didn't smile when he sang.

Haley sings Adele and well I thought. Randy has to practically pull it out of himself to compliment her. That said, I think if Haley had ever had a real broken heart, she would have done a better job. I didn't get a lot of anger or pain from her. I have no idea what the original sounds like, so maybe she did an excellent job. It did seem like a hard song to sing.

Well, I wanted emotion and out comes Jacob Lusk singing Luther. Luther is dead. And it is his birthday today (Jacob didn't know that of course when he picked the song). Luther's dad is dead. So is Jacob's dad. To Jacob's surprise, the judges did not give him a standing ovation. Even though his father is dead. Jacob had a hic at the beginning of the song and blames a technical failure because he is too professional to be emotional and start to cry (or have to wipe his eyes 2 bars later). JLo, bless her heart, shows no mercy and tells him in a much nicer way than I am going to put it...no...your skank just stank all the way through. Jacob is not discouraged and reminds the voters one more time that his dad is dead. I'm losing it at this point. Sadly, a look at Dialidol.com indicates that Jacob is coming in right after Scotty as the night's favorite. Are people really that gullible?

So out comes this weeks flavor, Casey. He plays his guitar and makes some faces and I suppose does an OK performance which he ends by getting in JLo's personal space and kissing her on the cheek. Oh that Casey! He is just a surprise a minute. Genius! No idea what Steven said as it is all bleeped but I suspect it had to do with women wanting to bed down Casey and men being jealous about it. Now, I am married to a portly red-headed man who used to have a red beard ( I wish he still did) and I suppose Casey should have some appeal to me. But I just keep thinking about his colon problems.

Oh Stefano...such a ladies man. I thought this performance was just weird and the chorus kept singing *I can't stop* and I was thinking *PLEASE STOP*. His bowlegged stud dance was just too much for me to handle and if I watch it back I will probably laugh but I was just too grossed out to laugh.

Lauren has a confidence problem and they are trying to fix it by giving her the pimp spot. I am actually liking her personally better than I did at first but tonight her performance was just awful. The judges couldn't bring themselves to say so but by telling her to do more they were saying it wasn't that great. Don't put 15/16 year olds on Idol.

Maybe I should have taken a nap today as I am particularly cranky toight.

Bottom 3 on the basis of performances should be: Lauren (safe), Jacob (safe), Stefemo (voted off). Bottom 3 will probably be Haley(safe), Casey or James (safe), Stefemo (voted off).

And as for Lauren, now that St. PiA is on my radar as the Queen B of the world, I am going to cut her some slack.

If anyone read this before I went back and edited for vulgarity, I apologize. I think Steven rubbed off on me.

Alternate career ...

... in toothpaste commercials.

Well done, America. All is right and just again.

Loved Scotty and Lauren again this week. Loved Haley and Casey even more. Didn't love the boys, but didn't expect to.

Auntee is hysterical, by the way. "How ya'll doin' tonight?" Bwahahaha! Awesome.

How Y'all Doin' Tonight?

Just fine, Paul.... Sort of a bad night for you though. So, one of the weakest links is gone and the curse of the women contestants has been broken, despite the judges obvious attempt to send Haley packing last night. Paul went out like a class act, which is to his credit. The only complaint I have about tonight's show is that Jacob wasn't on the stool again.

I like when they let the contestants perform without fear of judging. Once again, Scotty and Lauren did a great job with their country duet. I thought Haley and Casey were AWESOME! Of course they are a real life couple and have some chemistry together. I loved the little scatting competition they had in the middle of the song....very entertaining. It would have been a shame if Haley went home after that as she was the star of the duo.

Nice to see Kelly Clarkson again. I guess she is going country now. I'm wondering if country is about to have another resurgence in general popularity.

I enjoyed Rihanna. I'm glad she got some hair extensions.

Not really a surprising show...I think hardcore Idol fans can use a break after last weeks drama over St. PiA. I got some distinct satisfaction seeing Haley and Stefano and Casey safe, as they were the primary targets of the St. PiA's fan's vengeance. I bet St. Pia's cousin is chewing nails right now!

I don't get it ...

Sort of a confusing night for me. There was a lot of discussion about America "getting" it, and I'll lump myself in with "America" because I didn't get it.

Best to Worst:

Lauren Alaina - I sort of might start pulling for her to win this thing (Auntee just died.) She sang the climb much better than Miley (which, I agree, isn't saying much), and she's getting SMART. She's pandering to the teens, she sung a ballad to pander to St. Pia's fans, she's even toned down the crazy judge-dancing, Ryan-flirting act and adopted (at least for now) a more mellow, grown-up personality. And she looked really pretty.

Haley - I like Blondie, I like Haley. I honestly don't understand how all three judges gave negative critiques of this. I thought she looked gorgeous (although I was a little worried the camera might show an up-the-dress shot on accident), and she sang/screamed "Call Me" just as well as she sang/screamed "Bennie" and "Come On".

Scotty - He didn't do anything new with the super well-known George Straight song, and it was totally predictable (I typed "predictable", but meant "boring"). I totally didn't get all of this "getting back to his roots" talk because he's sung country every. single. week. Hell, he found a country song during Elton John week! But, again, I was confused last night.

Casey, I guess - I totally didn't get this. I love jazz. I regularly frequented jazz bars when I lived in a city that had them. I love that Casey is an artist, and I really do think he's amazingly talented, but I didn't get Nature Boy and kept thinking of In The Air Tonight like Jimmy suggested. That said, I love his make-over. His hair and beard are shaping up nicely.

Stefano - I have to comment on his clothes because they're getting ridiculous. 1st it was the suit with the tennis shoes, now it's the too-small polo, too-small jeans, and tennis shoes. He could've done Boys 2 Men a real solid and wore a tie and sweater like they do. The. choppiest. version. of. End. Of. The. Road. ever. done. He might not have taken a breath between every word, but. it. seemed. like. it.

James Durbin - I don't get it. Admittedly, I don't like Heavy Metal. I can appreciate a good guitar solo, and am quite good at Guitar Hero, but that's as far as I go. I do like James, though, as a person. And I'd like to see him beat out most of the other contestants for that reason alone.

Paul - Last week I wanted Iggy Pop to flail into a wall or fall off the stage, this week I wanted Paul to flail into a wall or off the stage. The suit thing is getting trite, too. Honestly, I don't even think he's good looking anymore (except he does have the whitest smile ever made.) I've seen Old Time Rock and Roll done better by the drunk at the karaoke bar.

Jacob - The choir was good. And Jimmy reminded America that Jacob was a douche last week. So, that was fun.


Bottom 3 should be: Paul, Jacob, Stefano

Bottom 3 will be: Paul, Haley, Jacob

Random tangent: I believe that the judges are responsible for Pia's departure. And not because they "wasted" the save on Casey. But because they don't ever give negative critiques. Everybody gets the same glowing commentary every week. And without any subliminal guidance, America votes blindly.

What would Simon have said about Paul's flailing? We need a Simon to remind us that they are NOT, in fact, all good all of the time.

I've Gotta Be ME...

unless I'm Rod Stewart, or Miley Cyrus, or Debbie Harry, or Paul Simon's worst nightmare. The contestants were surprisingly rebellious this week against Jimmy Iovine and his cohort (is it Will I. AM?) in choosing what they were going to sing from the movies. Perhaps they were just a little miffed when they learned that 9th place PiA (hereinafter referred to as St. PiA) had already been offered a record deal by Iovine and was rushing to record her songs (at least a single) to be released before the season ends, thereby stealing the thunder of the contestants America actually voted for. In prior years, the winner's single and album is usually released first.

But, as I have been learning from reading the official AI forums this week, St. PiA is an exception to every rule. She is going to win a grammy next year (at least one), Streisand is livid to be upstaged by the greatest voice since...well recording history. Mariah is in full on post-partum or pre-partum depression. Whitney's NA sponsor hasn't left her side, and after St. PiA's version of River Deep Mountain High, Tina Turner won't leave the house, she is so ashamed. Obama was even considering a statue that will mandate that instead of pledging allegiance to the flag (in those few schools who still do so) school children will be pledging allegiance to PiA. He has reconsidered and instead has asked St. PiA to record a song about HIM....something along the lines of *To Obama with love, St. PiA*. St. PiA responded that a better song might be *My Obama Will Go On* since she didn't get an opportunity to sing *My Heart Will Go On* tonight and really shove Celine's face in the dirt.

So maybe some of the contestants thought...hey...I WILL do it my way since the prize for the winner has already been awarded to St. PiA, so might as well take charge of my destiny here. Some of them did not, and in my opinion, their performances suffered for it.

So to assess the situation post- St. PiA here we go.

Paul comes out in yet another flowered suit (does he know it makes him look like a complete dork?) and jumps around while growling a Bob Seeger song (one of my favorites) with Rod Stewart's phrasing. I thought the sax player was the only redeeming part of this fiasco but the judges ate it up. I don't get the Paul love.

I do get the Lauren love, even if I don't approve of it, and she was smart to Kristy Lee Cook it tonight by singing a song the teens will love and then relating it to her own personal *climb* of 4 months. She was pandering for St. PiA's votes via her pimp Iovine (even if she won't admit it) and it will probably work. I didn't get Jennifer's comment about the *tear* in Lauren's voice. I will grant that she sang the song better than Miley Cyrus but that is not saying a heck of a lot as far as I'm concerned.

Stefemo has had a bad week. First of all, he is viewed by many as the agent of St. PiA's martyrdom at the hands of the rabble who threw her to the lions (or at least to a nice little recording deal with Iovine). Reports are he was getting hate mail of the worst kind. The demand that he quit the contest so St. PiA can come back was one of the kindest things thrown at him by St. PiA's outraged acolytes. I've got to say, I was proud of him tonight. I don't like his melismatic Pukealetta style but he did do the best performance I have ever seen him do and I have to admit he moved me an inch or two.

Oh...Scotty! What a kick! He calls Iovine *dude*. I'd like to think that is his way of subtley saying: *Look...you gave the prize away already so don't expect me to kiss your ass anymore and if you don't sign me someone else will.* I love *Everybody's Talking At Me* but you know, I think Scotty was right to stick to George Strait. Midnight Cowboy was a great movie, the song is a great song, and Glen Campbell is wonderful, but I'm not sure that Scotty's audience even KNOWS that song and certainly doesn't know that the movie was about a male prostitute and a consumptive homeless man (and they wouldn't care if they did). Maybe someone gave Scotty the heads up on the movie and he realized the backround of that song was just too morose and dark for his personality. Good job for Scotty but not a showstopper.

Casey basically pokes a finger in Iovine's eye and says *I'm doing Nature Boy, so shut up*. I love Nat King Cole. I think I would have loved the performance if I didn't have to watch the stupid faces Casey made while singing it. So at the end I was left completely conflicted. The judges loved it but they probably didn't see the close ups of Caseys face that the TV audience did. I suspect if I heard it without having to look at Casey, I would be impressed.

Well no love for Haley tonite from ANYBODY, including Iovine who phoned in his mentoring session and didn't tell her the song wasn't a good choice. She said she had a hard time choosing a song, which meant she didn't love the song she chose and it showed in her performance. She is getting the brunt of the St. PiA backlash, because when St. PiA's elimination was announced, Haley was looking around the audience and sort of half smiling instead of prostating herself in sorrow. So Randy hates her again and JLo and Steven agree with him. Haley is now cast as Camilla Parker-Bowles to St. PiA's Princess Diana. She is the *other woman* who stole the prize away from the beloved one (or at least was left standing for awhile longer). In addition, she and Casey are a couple (I thought what she was doing in the elimination was trying to get Casey's attention), which further ticks off St. PiA's worshippers because the save was *wasted* on Casey. According to one very verbose an illiterate poster on the forum, St. PiA's cousin hates Haley. Just thought I would share that with you.

Jacob, at this point, does not know whether to poop or go blind which pretty much describes the faces he makes when he sings). Iovine lectured him for his preaching at the audience (good the more people who are reminded of that the better). Chastened, he accepts Bridge Over Troubled Water like a whipped dog, even though it is only slightly less corny than *To Dream the Impossible Dream* or *I'll Never Walk Alone*. And I thought he butchered the song and my ears hurt on those last three notes that the judges found so amazing.

Oh...I just heart James. Do you know that he sends drawings in his replies to fan letters? Several of his fans have posted pictures of the letters and drawings he has sent back to them. He also defied Iovine and good for him. Metal is NOT my thing at all. I'm to the point where he can do whatever he wants and I'll enjoy it. He just seems like a happy guy!

So...who will be in bottom three? I think Paul and Jacob should be. I think Haley has a good chance of being on the stools and perhaps Casey because people didn't get what he was up to. Paul seems to have a lot of fans though. I hope Stefemo is not in the bottom three after he gave so much of himself tonight. I don't want him to win the thing, but he deserves to get an early safe call for what he endured in the past week AND for a great performance, even if it was Stefemo style.

Am interested to see KK's thoughts on the night. I do agree that at least we are getting a broad range of styles from the contestants and that the show is much more entertaining as a result. Also, I think that they had a bigger song selection (or were more pushy about getting new songs cleared) than in the past for this theme week. I really think I might have lost it if Paul did *Footloose*.

More Sober Reflection on Shocking Results

I'm so glad that KK mentioned the terrible entertainment last night. In the shock of seeing Jacob stay and Pia go, I forgot all about how horrible Constantine and Iggy Pop were. Iggy might not have a pot belly but 60 year old skin SAGS and should be covered up. I don't even know if I liked what he sang because all I could think of was how ridiculous a 60 year old man with saggy skin looked going shirtless. And I'm glad she pointed out how poor Stefemo was made to look the villian because he got more votes. This is the second time he was on the chopping block and the judges acted like he should have gone instead of the one who was voted off. I'm starting to root for him a bit.

Couple of Auntee theories as to why PiA got sent home. First, the judges have not been very critical of any of the contestants and so haven't *steered* the audience toward their favorite as Simon always did. I'm not sure this is a bad thing. Simon was not always right in my opinion. Second, I know everyone says its a singing competition but it is also an entertainment competition and Pia was just too type A to relax and have fun. The judges kept telling her to let go but she just could not. Steven commented after the results, that America needs to see passion but then realized he was being critical and backed away from it. Steven has stated he just cannot be too hard on these contestants because he has three daughters and does not want to crush their dreams. Maybe, however, had the judges been a LITTLE harder on Pia in the beginning (although Randy and Jennifer tried to tell her to get some passion) she would have let go and America would have loved her more.

I never thought she would win the whole thing but I do feel bad that she left before others I consider vastly inferior...like Lauren, Paul, Jacob, and Stefemo.

Oh well...life goes on.

Poor Stefano

I don't know which is worse - the fact that Pia got voted off before Paul, Jacob, Stefano or Lauren. Or, the fact that the judges made it VERY clear that they wished Stefano was going home.

I felt a little sorry for Stefano. They were clearly saying "you suck compared to her, you should be the one leaving"

But I also feel VERY sorry for Pia. It was wrong. And I'm betting the judges wish they would've saved the save for her.

All in all it was a really BAD night:

Constantine Something-or-rather butchered Unchained Melody.

Iggy Pop's scary, shirtless body flailed around the stage for what seemed like forever. I kept waiting for him to fall, or slam into a wall.

Jacob's stylist doesn't understand that overweigh people must NOT wear jeans that are too tight for them because of the muffin-top effect.

And my husband's girlfriend FINALLY wore a top where her boobs looked insane, and she gets voted off.

BOOOOO!

Mama Mia...we lost PiA! And kept that fat arrogant pile of drama queen Jacob. I very seldom yell at the TV. However, tonight, I suspect that drivers on Huntington could hear the boos coming from my front room as they sent Jacob to the couch. But the worst was yet to come.

How in the hell did it happen that Pia got less votes than weasel Paul, fat Jacob, and Stefemo...not to mention Lauren Alaina!

Well, I didn't vote for her. Maybe her lack of passion did her in. Or maybe something went haywire with the phone lines (I am convinced there is a plot to keep verizon calls from going through very often as the times I have tried to vote this year, I get busy signals all the time. That has never happened at this stage of the competition, even when I was voting for favorites like David Cook and Crystal.)

And..to top it all off...since I am banned from the boards because some asshat Jacob fan called me an idiot and I suggested the fan look in their own darn mirror (which I thought was a pretty restrained comeback)...I cannot even comment.

Well, the sun will come up tomorrow I suspect.

Chris Medina's love story is NOT going to waste

Even though AI can't milk the story of Chris Medina's disabled wife, he can do it himself.

www.tmz.com/2011/04/07/american-idol-rejects-contestants-rogue-concert-tour-chris-medina-tim-halperin-rob-bolin-juliana-recovery-fund-charity/

Tim Halperin's version of When A Man Loves A Woman puts Stefano's to shame:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbOQveFq7S8

I hope the tour does well, and that they raise lots of money for Juliana's care.

Creepy Wax Steven Tyler

I've been told I sound grumpy when I post (could it be the 4 hours of sleep at night?), but today is going to be a good day. Why? Because for the 1st time in YEARS of watching AI, I can honestly say that I really do enjoy ALL of the contestants. Last night was just a great show all around, and it's been fun to watch.

That said, somebody has to go. Worst to Best:

Jacob - I'm glad he changed songs because can you IMAGINE what those weird hip-thrusts would've looked like had he been singing Let's Get It On?!? Kris Allen killed Man In The Mirror, and I'll always compare it. It's a low-key song, and Jacob is ANYTHING BUT low key. If for no other reason, he needs to go home for his "if I'm in the bottom three, it's because America is afraid to look in the mirror" comment. WTF?

Paul - I still think he's hot, and quirky. And he might just be a little crazy, just like Johnny Cash was. But he's no Johnny Cash (who is probably rolling over in his grave right now.) For shame.

Stefano - I like his voice and he seems like a genuinely nice guy, but I can NOT get past the Pukaletta curse - Open Your Eyes, Kid!!! The judges said they felt emotion in his performance, but I felt the exact opposite. I actually wondered if he's ever loved a woman, because he was having trouble conveying it if he has.

Lauren - I get that the Jersey Shore poof is "in", but COME ON. Not cute. Natural Woman had some really good notes, but they couldn't make me forget about the 1st 1/2 of the song, which was just ... not good.

Scotty - I still love me some Scotty. But it felt karaoke to me. It felt like a little kid imitating his favorite singer.

Casey - I don't know why everybody is so down on the Growl, because I like it. I think he should Growl an entire song, it'd be awesome. I think the main reason why Casey is fantastic is because, like the judges said, he's a MUSICIAN. And even when he doesn't win AI (because he won't), I hope he goes on to have a career doing what he loves.

Pia - So, you sang up tempo ... give the girl a medal. Was it the earth shattering performance that the judges made it out to be? No. (I was really hoping to see a little more of the Tiny-Turner-Crazy in there - PIA is too straight to pull off that song.) Is she still REALLY. FRICKIN'. GOOD? Absolutely.

James Durbin - If you've been following me, you know I think he's overrated. But tonight's performance was nothing less than AMAZING. It's become a bit of a cliche, but I really did get goose bumps. I didn't even mind the ONE, controlled, scream at the end.

Haley - I've said it before, but my parents were hippies. So, I grew up listening to Janis Joplin and Piece of My Heart is the quintessential Joplin song, in my mind. Haley killed it, which is hard to do. I loved it.

Please, Please can Jacob go home?

One Trick Ponies Stand on Their Heads and Other Highlights

As far as I am concerned, they can do the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame theme every week except for the week they do the Rat Pack or 40's -50's theme. I didn't need closed caption tonight because I knew all the songs. All of the contestants chose good songs. That is not to say that all of the contestants sang those good songs well. A few of the *one trick ponies* pulled out new tricks tonight. In the spirit of shaking things up, I am going to comment on the performances from worst to best.

Last place finish in the pony race goes to Jacob. He was going to do *Lets Get It On* but realized his morals prevented him from doing a song about getting it on. So, he chose one of Michael Jackson's save the world songs, The Man in The Mirror. He reminded us, before he sang, that if we didn't like his performance or if he was in the bottom three (I guess it didn't occur to him he might go home), it was not his fault. No...it is OUR fault because we don't want to look in the mirror. There are reasons I do not want to look in the mirror, Jacob, but they have nothing to do with you or your singing and even less to do with starving children. And, you are hardly the poster child for starvation so I don't want to look at you much either. It was a boring performance highlighted somewhat strangely by Jacob simulating *getting it on* with his backround singer. Those hip thrusts were just ....odd. Sadly, the backround singer who was forced to simulate getting it on with Jacob was, in fact, the songwriter, if I understood Steven correctly. Sad indeed.

Eighth place goes to Paul. I have about had it with him. I suppose he thought that doing Johnny Cash was, for him, like a pony doing handstands, but it was just ridiculous. I started laughing half way through. I'm sorry, but singing really fast and really loud does not help when you are singing a song that requires a certain amount of depth to the voice which Paul's voice does not have. He looked like a monkey on crack. The guitar work (which he had lots of help with) was the only thing that made it remotely entertaining, and I mean remotely.

Casey comes in at number 7 singing Have You Ever Seen the Rain, which is a favorite of mine. He has a bass fiddle that he plays. This makes him a great musician. I thought his voice was thin and that he looked more scared than anything as he sang. Randy's reaction was over the top on this one. Maybe Casey deserved to be saved but, in my mind, this was a so/so performance of a really good song and it left me cold. The only trick here was that he only growled for half of the song.

Coming in at number six is our unnatural not woman Lauren. Christina Aguilera did her no favors on the styling, as her hair made her face look fatter and her dress made her butt look fatter. But I like fat girls (and she is not really fat at all), I just don't like her. It was OK, but not up to Crystal Bowersox and definitely not even 20% of Aretha or Carole King. No new tricks from Lauren but she has a huge fan base who have already enshrined her Candle in the Wind performance in their own little hall of fame (she is the new Princess Diana in her fans minds) so she will survive.

Stefemo didn't really do a new trick and perhaps I am giving him the number 5 slot, instead of a lower one, because he sang one of my all time favorite songs ever made. He does have a good voice but I wish he would stop closing his eyes and reminding me of Pukaletta. (For new readers...Pukaletta is David Archuletta).

PiA takes 4th place. Lots of hype for her tonight, because she is going to try to stand on her head and sing an up tempo song instead of a ballad. She sang it well, but I'm sorry...singing an up tempo song is not equivalent to curing cancer...no matter what the judges think.

Scotty does do a new trick and comes in 3rd. Singing Elvis was a little predictable as we have been told he loved to impersonate Elvis as a kid. I thought he might do one of Elvis's more country or slower songs. I missed some of his performance as Mr. Auntee chose that moment to interupt me and tell me about one of our cats litter box defilement. But, Scotty did rock it more than countrify it and so he gets some credit for standing on his head tonight. And he does know how to work the stage and the audience.

In a photo finish, James Durbin comes in 2nd. He may just be winning my heart. Its Rock and Roll week and James stands on his head and slows it down to, of all people, George Harrison! I think that song means something more to him than he revealed tonight but I don't really need to know what it is. I hope he stays around for a long time and if he wins this thing...I will not be unhappy.

Haley crosses the finish line first. As much as I love Me and Bobby McGee, Piece of My Heart is, to me the quintessential Joplin song. She sang it flawlessly and added a few Haley twists. My only criticism is that she is not Janis Joplin. She could have shown a little more pain but then, she is not Janis Joplin. Perhaps if Haley was strung out on heroin and had been laid and dumped by 100 or more guys, she could have brought the pain to the song that Janis did. I'm thinking I prefer less pain for her. Although she did not stand on her head tonight, she is the only contestant who has done a variety of songs from the beginning and didn't have to show me a new trick.

I have no idea how the voting will go. I tried to vote for James, Haley, and Scotty tonight and only got through a few times. In Auntee's world, the bottom three would be Paul, Jacob, and Casey with Paul going home.

Tiny Dancer Leaps and Rocket Man Fizzles

*You Won't Believe Who is Going Home* said the opening credits. Nice try producers, but it didn't take a rocket scientist or a rocket man to predict that Naima and Thia had about a 99.5% chance of going home. I was a little surprised that Stefemo out did Paul, but not particularly unhappy about it. I liked Stefemo better than Paul last night even if it is sort of like saying I like Velveeta better than the nutty cheese balls.

The highlight of tonight's entertainment was Scotty and Lauren. Yes, I know. I still don't like Lauren. But Scotty made her sound better. I liked the concept of grouping them up but other than the Scotty/Lauren duo, the rest of the groups were better in concept than in execution...even Band on the Run.

I didn't watch the show Fantasia's season. I take it she has had a tough time since her Idol win what with her moocher family draining all her money and men troubles etc. Good for her she won a Grammy and is on some sort of comeback. That said, as one fat lady to another, I think I would advise her to avoid songs centering on food. And to get a better hairstyle. But she did give the contestants good advice.

Too bad about the Idol mansion leaking and believe it or not I DID feel bad when Lauren fell down the stairs. I don't want bad things to happen to her...except for getting sent home.

No solid word on what the theme next week will be...maybe classic rock songs or songs from the 100 best songs of all time or something.

Now, if you all want to see some real musical talent, I encourage you to check out a group called the Kelley Family on Youtube. com. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwzBuN7jfjw. They are sort of like the Phelps family but they sing.

Equally Mediocre

This is an interesting season for me because (1) I don't have an absolute favorite, and (2) I don't have an absolute nemesis. Each contestant has their good/bad moments, which is boring.

Best to Worst

Haley - Benny! Benny! Benny! Haley's voice has always been unique (which doesn't get much play from the judges), but last night she demonstrated just how interesting she can be. And she got off of that piano in a tight dress without flashing anything, which puts her in my top spot on its own! Absolutely fabulous!

Casey - Just when you thought he had his Hicks impressions in the bag, he goes and totally redeems himself. It doesn't hurt that Your Song is one of my all-time favorite Elton John songs. But Casey made it beautiful by singing it straight, limiting the growling and the weird dancing, and how could I not comment on his new appearance - he's actually pretty good looking when he's not imitating a homeless person!

Lauren Alaina - Oh, yeah, Tee ... this says what you think it says. Finally Lauren stepped away from the booty-shaking performances and just sang with what turned out to be a rather lovely voice.

Scotty - I love how he looked at the song list, saw "Country" and went for it. I've never heard this song, and I have trouble imagining Elton John singing it, but Scotty did pretty well. The shout out to Grandma WAS cheezy, and Grandma got WAY too much camera time.

Stefano - I can't decide if I actually liked his performance, or if I just really like Tiny Dancer and thought Stefano's make-over was awesome. He looked handsome (except what's with the tennis shoes with the suit?), and sang my other favorite Elton John song.

Pia - Zzzzzzz ... oh, sorry, I fell asleep there for a second. The female Pukaletta. Ballad after ballad after ballad. Good voice, but if she has an ounce of creativity, she has yet to show it. Boring.

Durbin - He lit a piano on fire, which was fun. And I do agree with Tee that he genuinely LIKES what he's doing. He has fun, which makes me smile. That's all I've got.

Speaking of cheezy shout-outs ... Paul - "Sing Rocket Man like an encore" could not have meant less to Paul, apparently. Because he basically whispered it beyond recognition.

Naima - Once I got over the fact that she was faking a Jamaican accent, I sort of liked the musical part. Just not her singing. Or her dancing. Or her outfit. Or the fact that she FAKED AN ACCENT.

Jacob - At least he didn't sing "Can You Feel The Love Tonight", which is about the only good thing about his performance. I would go see him on Broadway (assuming I get to go to Broadway someday), but that's it, because it'd be a cold day in hell before I'd buy his CD or see him in concert. Also, I do a KILLER Jacob imitation after a few glasses of wine!

Thia - My brother moved away? THAT'S what you're going with? Seriously? Daniel died in a war. Nice try though, pagent queen. Your stage parents should've coached you better than that.

She's Got Electric Boobs!

OK, I know the correct words are She's Got Electric Boots but I'm not sure I would know that if I didn't have closed caption on my TV. (Credit to the writers of *27 Dresses* for the electric boobs line). Like all of Bernie Taupin's lyrics, its easy to mix the words up on *Bennie and the Jets* and hard to figure out what they mean unless you have the album liner or closed caption in front of you when you are listening to them. Or maybe its just me. Why do I have closed caption you ask? Well, I like to watch Gordon Ramsey whose accent I don't understand very well unless he is being bleeped so one day I asked Mr. Auntee to put the closed caption on to watch Hell's Kitchen and now I cannot figure out how to take it off. And it comes in handy sometimes, like tonight.

First, a confession, I actually voted tonight for the first time since the top 13 were announced. Not obsessively (the lines were too busy for that). I know who I want to go home tomorrow and I have a prediction about who will go home tomorrow, but I am not very confident in my prediction and I KNOW my wishes about who goes home will not come true.

Scotty gets the death slot. So called, because people generally forget the #1 performer. Perhaps the performance order is part of the nefarious plot to undermine Scotty with the voters, but it will fail. Particularly after that performance. Scotty went back to his proper and amazing low range and killed it. I didn't know this song but when the forum people said Scotty should sing it (the only *country* song Elton John ever did evidently), I went to Youtube to hear Elton sing it. Elton was just pretending he was singing a country song. Scotty not only made this song his own, he made it a country song. And how about not buckling to Jimmy Iovine and singing the verse to his grandma. I suppose shouting out to grandma could have come off as cheesy. For some reason, it just seemed very natural and Scotty to me. And, I got tears in my eyes I was so proud of him! This was before I poured my wine for the evening too.

Well, Naima, I think you have about a 75% chance or greater of not still standing on the stage next week. Gotta give her credit for taking chances. She is just going to do what she wants to do. I actually liked the Reggae. The judges did not. So, probably America will not. She is, in my opinion, the most purely beautiful in appearance of the women this year. But, I think she is probably going home and in the bottom three for sure.

The forum junkies predicted that Paul would sing *Your Song*. He sang *Rocket Man* instead. I don't think he carried off what he was trying to do. He listened to Randy last week, so he did his *tender voice* (a little too much.) I still think him coming out and saying *how are y'all tonight* is cheesier than those cheese balls you see on buffet tables that are covered with nuts that no one ever eats. Basically I was bored. I would not have wanted to attend the concert that preceded this encore performance. I would send him home for never living up to the expectations I had for him at the beginning and his generally cheesy, skinny, weasleness. I think he will stay at least another week.

PiA sings another ballad. Very well too, although can someone tell these contestants to ditch the choir in the robes? I loathe them. They add nothing to anyone's performance who can actually sing (although they carried Lee DeWyze to the title last year). I still am not in love with her but admire her technical abilities. She is going to sing River Deep Mountain High next week (which I gather from Youtube was recently performed on Glee) made famous by Tina Turner 20 plus years before PiA was born, but also sung by...wait for it...CELINE DION! So..I'm not sure if the theme next week is the 60s, Tina Turner, Celine Dion, or sons recently sung on Glee, but we will be getting some up tempo from PiA (with, I predict, about as much excitement as the rag doll mentioned in the first line of the song). But...I want PiA to stay in. One of these days, I'm going to be voting my little fingers off for her.

Stefemo does Tiny Dancer, another song which I appreciated having closed caption for. He was fine. He kept his eyes open. He put out his hand to Jlo. I'm basically indifferent to Stefemo. I'm thinking maybe there are others in America who agree with me and he might find himself in the bottom 3 again.

And NOW, singing the BEST SELLING SINGLE IN THE WORLD...comes Lauren Alaina. I had said on the forums that if someone sang Candle In the Wind I would throw up (many were very excited about the prospect of their favorite singing this song...especially the *Princess Di* version...what with the Royal Wedding coming up and all). Well, thanks to the fact that Elton John will never let anyone sing the *Princess Di* version ever again (a fact which the forum people were not thrilled to learn from me), we were spared that maudlin spectacle. Unfortunately, we were not spared the twangy, calf bleating, countrified breathy version sung by Lauren Alaina. I don't know why the judges like her. The only saving grace tonight it was it was a difficult song for her to do her normal lap dancing moves to the judges with. But she made up for that by her outfit and *shaking it up* in the commentary. Silly little calf. I know that one day I am going to be dialing my fingers to the bone for PiA so that PiA knocks her out of the competition.

Everyone predicted James would do Saturday Night is All Right For Fighting (another song I'm glad I had closed caption for). This kid just makes me smile. I know KK thinks he is Adam Lambert II but I don't agree. I'm not even a big rock fan. He just makes me smile and I think its because he just loves doing whatever he is doing out there and its infectious.

Oh Thia...she made me cry too but my wine glass was 3/4 empty by that time. Yes, she is robotic and pageanty. Yes, I didn't like her at the beginning. Now, she just breaks my heart. Her voice is wonderful. She is just too young (and perhaps too stage parented) for this experience. Unlike Lauren, she cannot pull off a *oh...aren't I just so young and sassy and clueless* persona. I liked how she mentioned her older brother but WHY don't these kids do a little bit of googling as to a song's history. This song is about a wounded and disillusioned Viet Nam veteran (or perhaps one KIA whose body is on the way to Spain from Nam), not some guy going off to college. Bottom three I think, although I voted for her once or twice out of empathy.

Casey redeems himself singing Your Song. He can actually sing and not growl. I think Casey thinks a lot of himself. I think he got a wake up call last week. He is not going to be showing off how edgy he is anymore. This week he picks the Elton John song EVERYONE knows and loves and plays it straight. A nice job and he won't be in the bottom three. I don't think I can vote for him though...if you want to know why, check out the latest on votefortheworst.com about his propensity to send phone pix to women. The rumor may not be true. But why take a chance when I like Scotty and James so much more?

Jacob has worn out whatever favor I had for him. He looked like he was in agony tonight singing that song and I couldn't help but think perhaps he had a case of severe constipation and stomach cramps. Tone down the queening, preening camp Jacob, or you will be going home in a couple of weeks.

Hailey (Haley) sings Bennie and the Jets! She must have had a lot of votes last week because Randy doesn't hate her anymore. I don't think it was necessarily the best performance of the night but it was in the top three or four along with Scotty and James. Lots more interesting than PiA. And, I sorta thought, she could BE Bennie with electric boobs or boots and a mohair suit! I hope she is safe this week. I bet Lauren pouted up a storm when Steven said Hailey sings sexy.

I am glad that the producers are letting the contestants do a little more of their own in terms of interacting with the audience ala Scotty and Naima doing shout outs (even cheese ball Paul) and Stefemo holding out his hand to Jennifer. Simon would never have stood for those stage tricks, but then who misses Simon?

So...prediction as to bottom three? Naima, Stefemo, and Thia. Maybe Jacob as I think he is wearing pretty thin at this point. Who do I WANT to go home? Lauren, Lauren and Lauren.

Hicks-alike is Staying Alive

Casey, Casey, Casey. I like him. A lot. I don't want to see the resemblance to Taylor Hicks. Do they both growl? Yeah. Do they both do weird dancing? Yeah. But Casey is awesome and Taylor Hicks is lame.

Plus, do you really think a save used on Taylor Hicks would've been so emotional? I teared up. Seriously. He was genuinely thrilled and surprised ... but he was the only one ... because everybody else knew he'd be saved!

I needed to post because Tee and I disagree on some things. My husband tells me that I was "off", and that I wasn't hearing things right (because I disagree with him, too). But here's my take on Motown Week:

I don't get it:

Jacob. He seems like a nice guy, but would you really buy a CD with his over-the-top, theatrical, drama-songs? Reuben Studdard anybody? The judges are constantly fawning over him, my husband puts him in the top performers every time, Tee loves him. I must be missing something.

Durbin. He's okay, for a Lambert wanna be. But he's Lambert minus creativity. We get it, you're a rocker. Next.

Naima dancing. Weird. I mean, I guess she's talented. So, go on America's Got Talent. What happened to "this is a singing competition"?

Bad raps

Lauren Alaina wasn't horrible. I actually kind of liked her little performance (but was again uncomfortable with her rubbing up on the judges).

And Scotty did Motown right, I thought. Even put a little country twist into it. And what's with the wink and the nod into the camera, Scotty? You know you're a cute little thing, don't you?

Steffano is actually really good. Does he close his eyes (a move that has previously driven me insane - Pukaletta)? Yeah. He lacks a little emotion, too, I guess. But he's got a beautiful voice and seems like a great kid. (Disclaimer: His lack of creativity will get boring fast.)

Pia - I agree with the judges that she needs to get over the ballads.

Next to go (in KK's world)

Thia botched the words and was appropriately scolded for it by being (hopefully) knocked down a peg and sent to the stools. You're not invincible, pretty little pagent girl.

And just a quick comment on Hottie Paul. I haven't researched this myself, but have it on good authority that he has a band, who has songs for sale on iTunes, and they're decent songs. Is that fair? I don't know. But I'm sure some voters will get wind of it and think it's not.

Let's Give Scotty a Double Whammy!

Not content with making Scotty's life hard with Motown week, Idol producers have once again selected a *theme* for next week. It is Elton John week! I have nothing against Elton John other than the words to his songs make no sense and no one even knows what half of them are, but I do know a nefarious plot when I see one! I'm only half-kidding.

I only hope we are spared Lauren singing *The Bitch is Back*.

Oh What A Night!

At about 6:20 pm tonight, on day 6 of a terrible cold/infection/whatever illness that is resisting all remedies known to man, I was dozing on the couch and thinking *hmm...if I fall asleep before Idol, I can always catch up on Hailey's elimination later...who cares about a stupid Ford video?*. Fortunately, little J called to check on my well-being and got me awake enough to turn on tonight's result show.

First, let me say, I'm thrilled the illness has sapped my predictive powers. Hailey is going on Tour! She wasn't even in the bottom three. Somewhere in America, enough honest souls saw she was getting the shaft and rallied to her cause!

Nygel Lythgoe tweeted this am that tonight would have some shocking news. Nygel is a big drama queen so most of the hard-core fans thought they would probably be announcing something like the Idols moving into a new mansion (the old one apparently leaked like a sieve and they had to move out this week..so much for 5 million dollar houses in LA) or that Simon Cowell will make a guest appearance as a mentor next week. No one thought it would be a shock elimination (including me...but when considered what a shocking elimination would consist of...I thought Casey...believe me or not).

But the show was so packed with out of the ordinary stuff...Stevie Wonder surprising at least one judge (Steven Tyler)...Steven's birthday song...Hulk Hogan knocking Ryan off the stage after the James/Paul WWE preview, I was pretty sure Nygel's shock had already occurred. Not to mention a new mentor in the form of Marc Anthony (aren't he and JLo the nicest people in the world? I never knew that about them and hope they live happily ever after).

The dim the lights moments went pretty much according to plan at first, and I do like the way Ryan is not milking the suspense so much this year. I cannot remember who they sent to safety first, Naima or Hailey, but I was glad that they did not make either of them suffer the suspense for a long time.

I was not terribly surprised to see Thia in the bottom three as she is just boring even though her voice is good. Obviously, Jason wasn't going to be there. So...we get Stefemo and Casey and I'm thinking Casey is going to be sent right back to the couch and we would have to endure another emo performance from Stefemo. I was just thinking it was a bad week for the Emo family since Gordan Ramsey dissed his mother's pasta last night, and suddenly Casey is standing there all by himself. Randy is ready to storm the stage, JLo is in shock and Steven is shaking his head probably thinking someone slipped him some drugs as he is now in some alternate universe. Stefemo hugs and cries on Casey way too long, Naima looks pissed as hell, andJames has a full blown Tourette's attack (bless his heart).

Casey bravely starts growling his song, his parents are hugging each other with tears in their eyes, and Randy STOPS THE SHOW! Let there be no doubt who is the judge in charge here. And I knew the save was on.

Which is not, in my opinion, a mistake. A mistake would have been saving Stefemo or Thia or Lauren. At least now they cannot use it to save Lauren.

Jlo, gives Casey some good advice. Stop the growling. Ironically, the growling saved Hailey this week. Oh well. Art is not consistent.

So, all eleven will go on tour which is not a problem for me given that Lauren was NEVER going to be cut out of the top 10 and that I will not see the tour in any event.

A note on the guest artists (other that Stevie). The woman's voice in Sugarland went through me like a knife. Jennifer Hudson was great but wouldn't the song be just as effective if instead of the bad grammar *Where You At?* refrain, the refrain was *Where Are You?* Just sayin'.



Next week two go home.

Pick A Theme to Screw Scotty (aka Motown Week).

I love Motown. I just wish the producers motives had not been so transparent in choosing Motown this week. At some point, the producers announced they would not do theme weeks this season, so each contestant could *be who they are*. Evidently, they changed their mind. Perhaps because one contestant is running away with the competition?

I predicted in a post on the AI forums Casey would do Grapevine. The music advisors wisely told him to slow down the Nirvana train he did not want to jump off of yet and it came off pretty well. I must confess, his growling is getting a bit tiresome. Not really a *moment*, but not bad either. Or so my notes said. By the end of the show I had pretty much forgotten about Casey.

I also predicted Thia would do something more up tempo and be praised for her growth. Sadly, she brought about as much heat to the wave as an ice cube. She also messed up the words. Which was not mentioned.

I predicted Jacob just might take to the invisible wires in a tutu with wings and soar above the audience this week. He did so metaphorically. Ryan prolongs his moment of glory by having a bunch of girls come up and hug him. Which sort of steals some time and thunder away from the next contestant, Lauren. I guess Ryan is paying her back for trying to get him sick last week. Don't mess with Ryan, contestants...he can be your best friend or your worst enemy.

I thought Lauren might do a ballad. No, she just does what she wants to do and always does...a song that she can sex up and shake her head and butt about on and go make eyes at the judges with...every..single...week. I wish she would stop hanging on. I am certainly not keeping her hanging on. I want her to LET GO...far away. She said people have been saying mean things about her online. I guess that would be me because from what I can tell she is universally beloved by the entire Idol Forum Board. I have actually not said bad things about her on the board for fear of being stalked and shot.

Stefemo (my name is getting more and more appropriate for him as even the Jimmy guy said he is pure emotion...or the song is..or something). He says he will keep his eyes open but he cannot. Before Stefemo sings, Ryan reminds the crowd that David Cook had a moment with this song in his season. I knew then this was going to be another overwrought performance and that Stefemo has ticked Ryan off in some way.

Hailey does You Really Got A Hold On Me. She is basically told *you might as well do whatever the hell you want to do because your going home anyway*. She comes out and gives it her best shot and we see her voice go all over the place. I liked it even if it was also overwrought, but it is too late for Hailey. She has been trashed for the last 3 weeks and has no fan base.

Oh Scotty.... I love you Scotty but that wasn't really very good and you probably should not have tried to country it up. I hoped you would sing My Girl. I thought the judges would be harder on him than they were. The joke appears to be on Scotty haters, however. According to DialIdol.com he is running away with the votes. He is safe but he has lost some momentum which was what this week is designed to do.

PiA sings another ballad. Altogether now, to the tune of I Am Woman let us sing: *Yes I sing high notes and Yes I sing on key. Yes I sing Celine but tonight I'll sing Stevee. I am loud, I am beautiful, I am PIAAAAA!*

Paul says Motown makes him want to move. Thats all we need is more movement from Paul. He sings a classic Tracks of My Tears just like Rod Stewart would sing it (and probably did) but forgets to move. He pronounces the words *with you* as *witchoo*. The judges loved it. Especially the last three notes where he was *tender*. And no one can confuse him with ANYONE else (except for Rod Stewart).

Naima wants to dance. She made a wise choice with her song and managed to sing it on key I think. But its a happy song and she looked happy singing and dancing to it so go Naima!

Finally, James Durbin. I think he is amazing.

Worst performance of the night? Lauren Alaina (oh, ok, it was probably Scotty). Going home? Hailey.

Spoiler!

Motown Theme next week. Guess Scotty is getting too many votes for the producer's comfort so they are changing their original plan of *no theme weeks* in order to even the playing field. Vote for Scotty this week in protest!