You Can't Make Me Love You Jessica Sanchez and I Wish You Were Going

Blarg!  Are we there yet? I'm not sure I can go the distance to the finale.

I had a wonderful day having lunch with art friends (although got a little overheated wandering the local botanical garden taking photos), stopped for a delicious cherry limemade on the way home, then took a 3 hour nap.  I woke up at 6 pm and got on the internet to look at art stuff and totally forgot about Idol until 7:13 pm.  Mr. Auntee was hoping I had *kicked the habit* but he was disappointed as I tuned in in time to hear Hollie sing her first song, Faithfully, by Journey.  

Hollie did a great job although I noted she was in the *death spot*, performing second.  Randy of course had to tell us at least three time he was once in Journey and how well he knew the song.  Blah blah blah.

Having missed the first part of the show, I had no idea what the theme was, but Joshua comes on next singing *You Lift Me Up* to his father.  Joshua knows how to milk the voters and the crowd but he can also sing well and I did get kind of teary eyed when he sang this.  He went back to his gospel roots which I enjoyed.  No standing O though, although the judges were way happy with it.

Jessica comes on and is sitting on her piano again doing her lounge singer routine singing an Etta James song which I should be familiar with, but I am not.  If you remember the name of it, good for you.  She basically growls her way through it (and I'm not opposed to growly in the right places), does a few fake finger moves, and is given great praise for a rather underwhelming and fakey performance.  The stylists listened to Jimmy and instead of putting her in a cheap skimpy dress, put her in a track suit.   I can only think what a brat she is.  

Then Phillips and Joshua do a duet of *This Love*, or rather Joshua sings and Phillips grunts the words artistically if not harmonically alongside him.  The judges really love it because its Phillips and Joshua.  I thought it was sing songy, ordinary pap.  

The girls sing a duet of the Bangles Eternal flame and start out on swings for some reason.  Hollie is carrying the melody while Jessica walks around like she is too good to be sharing the stage with Hollie.  Jessica does not play well with others and sort of pouts the low harmony votes.  Randy is pissed off because Jessica did not outsing Hollie and makes no bones about it.  No compliments to Hollie...he just hated it because he couldn't hear Jessica.  Portent of things to come for Hollie.  

Then the top 4 do a version of Waiting For a Girl Like You and Hollie and Joshua carry the load for the still pouting Jessica and the tone-deaf Phillips.  

Ryan's girlfriend, Juliane Hough, and Adam Shankman get a bunch of free publicity for their new movie.  I like Adam Shankman...he is one of the judges on So You Think You Can Dance and believe me I cannot wait for Idol to be over and SYTYCD to start.  

We have wasted enough time so we see the contestants with Jimmy's comments go the 2nd round with *a song they wish they had written*.  Yeah...right.  Only Phillips and Hollie seem to take this theme seriously.  Joshua and Jessica cannily pick songs they can belt over the top with knowing that is what the typical Idol voter is impressed with while Phillips and Hollie choose understated songs. 

Phillips sings Volcano by Damien Rice which appears to be about a pedophile resisting temptation.  I am not familiar with the song and had to go look up the lyrics to see if I got the message right.  I imagine the tweens voting for Phillips are melting away right now imagining he is singing this to them and the frauen voting for Phillips are imagining they are singing it to him.  The judges go on and on about how with THIS performance he has turned into his own person as an artist...completely oblvious to the load of crap they have been selling us from the beginning about what an original Phillips has been, is and always will be world without end amen.  Jimmy had a come to Jesus with himself after he criticized Phillips so harshly last week...and told himself *Jimmy...this guy is going to be the Idol so you better start selling him now even if he is still doing the same old same old growly crap he started with and cannot carry a tune in a backpack.*  Phillips performance is very understated and Jennifer calls it *poignant*.

So, Jimmy tell's Hollie not to oversing the Bonnie Riatt's song *I Can't Make You Love Me*, she doesn't oversing it, and bless Hollie's heart, she can't make the judges love her for more than one song ever.  I thought she did a very nice job with it but no...they wanted power Hollie not poignant Hollie (or to be really honest about it...no more Hollie and they will probably get their wish). 

Joshua does James Brown's Its A Mans World and I suspect that is what the finale to this season will end up being.  He gets a standing O.  It was great but I'm getting tired of them loving up on Joshua and tired of Joshua.  

And now, Bibi comes out and sings *And I Am Telling You* to let us know that she is not going anywhere so *F you America*.  Bibi thinks *Jennifer Holiday* sang this song and I hope she doesn't run into Jennifer Hudson any time soon.  She blasts this one to the rafters and is smart enough not to move.  Standing O from the judges.  Cat eating canary look on Jessica's face.  Ooooh she thinks she is so hot.  I cannot stand to look at her any more.  My only consolation is that when she goes home to San Diego the crowds will be sparse because if they don't turn out in force for Adam Lambert, they are not going to turn out for her. 

Going home is Hollie who has had a brave run and I love her for it. 

I'm not sure I can stomach watching the rest of the season after Hollie goes.  I suppose then I will root for Joshua because I just cannot force myself to root for the brat even though she is a girl. 

I'm signing off now in a crabby snit! 

  

Mysogyny at its Finest!

Yes, readers, this is happening.

Yes, it's really me, and No, I'm not drunk.  

I'm going to ask you a favor:

VOTE FOR JESSICA SANCHEZ



Here are the facts:

1.  Nobody really likes any of the remaining contestants.
 
2.  Hollie isn't going to win this thing.

3.  A female hasn't won Idol since May 2007.  MAY 2007!  

4.  If America doesn't vote for Jessica Sanchez THIS WEEK, right now, then Josh and Phil will glide into the Finale.

5.  In a Josh/Phil finale, the tweens have won.  

Yet another winner is chosen because he is either (1) the contestant tweens want to date, or (2) the contestant tweens want to be BFFs with.

And when the tweens win, nobody wins, folks. 

I Hate to Say I Told You So

And, I mean I really hate it tonight.   I figured it was going to be Skylar or Hollie, but was hoping Skylar would stick around for another week or so. Now, I am just watching the show for the moment when Bibi goes home.

I Don't Have To Say I Love You Jessica Sanchez

For the first time, I can sort of understand those people who go on the Idol Message Boards just to say: *I'M NEVER WATCHING AMERICAN IDOL AGAIN*. Or, *THIS IS MY LAST POST...GOODBYE FOREVER*.  Its not even that I was so invested in Elise as I knew she stood about as much chance of winning American Idol as I do.  It is just that this season's contestants haven't grabbed me from the beginning all that much and she was the one bright spot I looked forward to each week.  So, I really wasn't looking forward to watching tonight's show.  Then I saw the song list and thought...well at least I know the songs they are singing this week and maybe some performances will be good.  And some were.  And some made me cringe and some made me laugh out loud at their sheer awfulness. 

Jimmy is back this week along with Steven Van Zandt of E Street Band and Soprano's fame.  Actually, their segments were one of the highlights of tonight's show.   I want to marry Jimmy and have Steven Van Zandt as my best man.  You all may not share my obession.

Holly is up first singing River Deep Mountain High.  As you Idol trivia people may remember, this song was the one Pia plodded through the week she was dumped by America the sane last year.  It is not a song I really heard much before Pia dragged it off of a Glee episode and turned it into a funeral dirge.  So, I was very nervous for Hollie.  It sounded like a completely different song to me when Hollie sang it.  I thought she nailed it.  Thankfully, the judges agreed.  But Hollie is going first this week and that is not good for votes.

Up next is Phillip Manbearpig.  He does his *Phil Phillips* magic with a song which has lots of memories for me, The Letter by the Boxtops.  This song came out about the time I was getting ready to go away to college and leave my boyfriend behind.  So, I know this song's melody like the back of my old wrinkled hand.  The Phil Phillips' treatment consists of taking all the melody away and grunting a lot in stacatto.  Jennifer, not knowing the song, wonders where the melody was.  Well, *baby*, I've been wondering where the melody is in Phillips' song treatments for the past 10 weeks.  Glad you finally noticed there isn't any.   

Of course, the judges think he doesn't even need an aeroplane to get to the finale...he can walk on water all the way there.

Skylar is up next and Jimmy and Steven talk her into doing Credence Clearwater's Fortunate Son. I'm not sure this is doing her any favors as its a little sixties rebel for her target audience, but she delivers it like a pro.  The judges like it but don't gush a lot , so considering what they usually do for Joshua and Jessica, their reaction comes off as a bit of damning with faint praise.

They try to make us think that Phillip and Joshua don't want to sing together and maybe they don't.  They are singing the all time classic Righteous Brother's song, You've Lost That Loving Feeling.  I'm pretty sure the Righteous Brother's album was one of the very first that Auntee and KK's mama bought when we were tweens.  We drooled over them and their music like tweens now do over Justin Bieber.  We particularly liked the tall, dark handsome one whose part Phillip takes.  Phillip is a big fail and we are beginning to see that Manbearpig has no clothes so to speak (well its pretty obvious from his photo above) in that he really cannot sing very well if he has to carry a tune.  He is pitchy and I know this song so I'm confident he was pitchy on it.  He ruined the harmonies.  I thought it was a disaster but the judges are so into the budding bromance and pimping the two of them that Joshua and Phillips get a pass on this desecration of a sacred song.

I would really rather go to the dentist than watch Jessica Bibi Chez Sanchez take on Tina Turner's Proud Mary.  But Randy suggested she watch some Tina Turner videos last week to get her some *rock* creds and so she takes him to heart.  Her voice is fine, but something is wrong with the backup or the arrangment because it starts off sounding not just slow (as it should) but slow and weak.  She is swaying her hips like a hula dancer.  Then the song gets lively and she marches around the stage lifting up her legs a bit before reverting back to hula dancing.  (She is attempting and failing to do the 60's dance craze...The Pony...which I'm pretty sure she has no clue about).  I swear KK's daughter could imitate Tina Turner better than Bibi.  Steven and Jennifer love it, but Randy finally has the balls to say she basically sucked.

The first half closes with our judge's favorite son, Joshua.  He does Motown, the Temptations Ain't Too Proud to Beg, with backup singers doing the Motown moves as he tries to keep up with them.  Its good.  The judges don't stand for a change...perhaps they were shamed by the ridicule they have been receiving for their jack in the box approach to Joshua judgment.  Joshua has a flower in his lapel.  It is a daffodil.  Ryan thinks its a tulip.  But then, he also thinks the Kardashian's are good tv and produces their fat asses all the way to the banks for them and him. Ryan has a problem with real life as opposed to reality tv. 

The second half begins and I'm getting a little weary.  I want the show to end with Joshua, Hollie, and Skylar doing the best.  Screw Manbearpig and Bibi. 

Hollie takes on another monster, Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis, Simon's Cowell's big British X Factor discovery.  I think Hollie sings it better than Leona does, but Leona makes me feel creepy and so does Simon Cowell these days. (Random piece of info:  Simon insists on having black toilet paper at his mansions.  I don't know what this means but it cannot be good).   Randy says Hollie is peaking at the right time. 

Manbearpig takes on the Zombies *Time of the Season*.  This is also a song that I know well.  This nearly had me laughing if it wasn't so painful.  Phillip's limited range is obvious as he strains for the high note (which isn't that high), his voice cracks, and he misses the note painfully.  Not once...but every single time.  The judges simply do not want to face the fact that this Manbearpig cannot sing.  They praise him profusely for being able to *sing a melody*. Again, WTF?  I thought the whole point of this show was to sing a melody but apparently, as far as Phillips is concerned, the whole point for the judges has been watching him growl and grunt and staccato his way through every song he sings.   This is beginning to border on a psychic break from reality for the judges. 

  Time to call in Manbearpig's nemesis!

Skylar, Jessica, and Hollie come out and all pretend to be big buddies.  I think Hollie and Skylar actually are, but Jessica's enthusiasm for her co-stars seems a little forced.  They sing Your Love Keeps Lifting Me Higher and its fine.  Randy does some namedropping about Jackie Wilson and his falsetto. 

 

Skylar makes a smart move and sings an old standard You Don't Have to Say You Love Me by Dusty Springfield.  Obviously you are old when you remember watching her perform this on Shindig or Hootenanny.  Or maybe American Bandstand.  I think Skylar is fantastic singing this song.  I am transferring my Elise love and my few votes to her.  The judges love it too but they don't love her as much as they do Joshua, Phillip and Bibi, so...doesn't bode well for her this week.  Bottom 3 again.

Jessica doesn't like the term lounge singer, but of course, that is exactly what she is.  She takes a great Joe Cocker song and even with the 12 string instead of the piano behind her, she turns truffles into American cheese.  She fakes a pout or two, there is smoke blowing up her ass, and once again she blows smoke up the judges' and America's ass with her overabundance of melisma and vibrato and sad looks.  Gag me.  

To close the night on a lot of high notes, Joshua sings A Bee Gee's classic The Way I Love You (I think thats the title).  He is very good.   I really wouldn't mind if he wins the whole thing if it keeps Bibi and Manbearpig from the prize but I'm not going to waste my time voting for him.  The judges cannot resist standing again.  Randy mentions Robin Gibbs is sick.  Namedrop number 3 or 4 tonight.  I will forgive him tonight because he hated Bibi's Proud Mary.  

Bottom 3:  Skylar, Hollie, and Jessica.  Going home...Skylar or Hollie.       

Jamar Rogers for the WIN

Confession:  I spend my voting time elsewhere.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, you MUST watch this:


Lenny Kravitz 

or this: Bon Jovi 

or this:  Foreigner  

or this:  White Stripes  


How is THIS KID not on Idol?  Oh yeah, Gokey's dead wife.


Back to the task at hand ...

Here's how the rest of the AI competition will pan out:

Next week:  Hollie out
Then:  Skylar out
Then:  Jessica out

Wait a minute!  How'd we get ANOTHER male winner?!?

And lets face it, with a Joshua v Phil finale, who really cares? 

Yes, I'll still watch.  Begrudgingly.  
Just like I watched Lauren Alaina lose to Scotty McCreery after my favorite, Haley Reinhart, was voted off.  

But I don't have to be happy about it.

Boo America!

Obviously, I'm not happy with American Idol voters tonight. I'm not even going to try to act philosophical about it.  Now, who am I going to look forward to each week?  Jumpin Jack Flash Joshua?  Phony Baloney Bibi Chez/Jessica?  Phillips in pain?  Humiliated Hollie?  Six-shooter Skylar?

I will say Jimmy was right about Elise's song choices.  When I saw the Queen song she was going to sing and listened to it yesterday afternoon on Youtube I wondered if it packed enough punch.  And then the Hendrix song was a huge risk which didn't pay off (although I wonder if the judges had given her the same credit for *artistry* that they did Phillips it might have gone over better).   But I really don't think it mattered what she sang.  She was too old, too female, and too different to make it much further. 

I think I will go throw a tantrum now. 

Contestants choose ... boring.

Yeah, I said it.  B-o-r-i-n-g.

How can you make a night of Queen songs AND Contestant's choice (which has traditionally been the best night of them all) a snooze fest?  

Hand it to these six.  

Do I have my favorites?  Of course!  
Do I have my nemeses?  You know I do.  
Have I been moved to dial in and vote?  Not at all.

Queen Best to Worst:

Skylar - On Queen night, somebody has to sing The Show Must Go On.  You know there was name calling and hair pulling backstage and Skylar's thick bones won out.  Phew!  Maybe Elise could've sung it, but I not this well.  

Elise - I was totally distracted by the tambourine.  But she held her own against the massive crowd of background singers, which is more than I can say for ...

 Hollie - Save Me was an obvious plea to America to get her away from her stylist who doesn't know the difference between an adorable little teenage girl and a middle aged politician.  She bent over a lot, which I guess showed emotion.

Phillip Phillips - Had an extraordinarily large family cheering section - complete with matching Phil-face t-shirts - for a bunch of people who had to beg for money for airline tickets.  My "memory" of Fat Bottomed Girls was listening to it sung by drunk frat boys 87,000 times/night as I bartended my way through law school.  Phil's version would've fit right in there.  It certainly wasn't any better.

Joshua - Maybe I just don't get it.  He was singing into a CB radio, for crying out loud!

Jessica Sanchez - Didn't the judges JUST talk to her about singing songs fit for a 16 year old girl?  Bohemian Rhapsody is NOT a love song.  Put in as many runs and beautiful (over sung) notes as you want ... but you'll be ruining it.  We've all seen the better version of this song:

Did you really think my post would exclude this screenshot?

As a side note:  Every blog I've read this morning has commented on how Baby Of The Week is the only "rocker" who could've excelled on Queen night (because Elise is a woman, and of course can't be a rocker.)  Really?!?  Baby Of The Week thought Gaga's racy lyrics "alienated his fan base" and got him voted off.  But Queen's lyrics - about killing guys and girls with big asses - those would've been okay?  

Contestant's Choice Best to Worst:

Hollie!  (This is the second time in several weeks she's been up top with an exclamation point after her name!)  There is no question she sang The Climb better than Miley Cyrus herself.  There is no question she picked the right song, and none of the other contestants did.  There is no question that she won this round, hands down.  The only question I have is - if the judges stood for Hollie, and twice for Joshua, then why did they all agree Skylar stole the night, yet they never stood for her?

Phillip Phillips - There are exactly three reasons why he's this high on my list tonight:
1.  I'm a Dave Matthews fan.  DMB reminds me of my college days where I skipped classes, sat on porch-couches, and listened to music while, um, relaxing.  

Copying the contortions, too?

2.  Phil Phillips embraced the comparison and pretty much just said, "you want DMB, I'll give you DMB" and it was equal parts awesome, ironic, and hysterical.
3.  At least 2 of the 3 judges had NO IDEA he'd just sung a Dave Matthews song.  They praised him for "giving it Phil Phillips style", "being a unique artist" when he did NONE of those things.  It was the a DMB song, note for note: Judge for yourself  He should've sung Satellite, Crash, or Ants Marching, which are less artsy and more well known (to tweens) but it was still good.

Mantasia - MrKK reminded me that I downloaded Michael Lynche's version of Ready for Love, back in season 9.  So, it's not the song I don't like.  And Joshua looked super stylin in his leather jacket and scarf.  So, it's not his style I don't like.  Ya know what I think I don't like?  The judges kissing his ass every. single. time. for no apparent reason.  Over it!

Skylar - I've said it a bajillion times (particularly last season when we had country-on-country), but I'm not a country fan.  Never heard Tattoos on This Town, never need to hear it again.  Am I the only one who wanted her to stomp around and throw her hair like the Skylar Laine of yore ("yore" being February)?

Jessica Sanchez - She should've pulled the "my father is deployed" card much, much earlier this season.  Well played.  As much as I tried to hold back, I might have teared up a bit.

Elise - I'm going to admit that I had no idea Bold As Love was a Jimmy Hendrix song.  (I leave knowledge like that up to my hippy sister.)  And I didn't appreciate Elise's comment that "I thought everybody knew that song."  Randy is usually an idiot (his button said "Yo"), but he was right about her song choice.

Bottom three:  Elise, Jessica, Hollie

Going home: Elise

I'm Mad as Hell Singing F*** the Judges

TWO standing ovations for Joshua Ledet? Ok, he doesn't suck and he seems like a nice guy but this is getting to be a farce.  But America is buying the hype as it appears he is leading the votes on Dial Idol as of this hour.  

It was a decent night for performances, with exceptions.  Queen is not in my *memory song* repertoire so none of these songs had any special meaning for me and some I had not heard until tonight.  I thought it was great the idols got to sing a medley with the Queen musicians.  They seemed really interested in the kids and wanting to *pay it forward*.  Kudos to them.  

Now for the performances:

Jessica starts off singing a completely NOT age appropriate song, Bohemian Rhapsody.  Nothing genuine in her emotions as you could see her thinking *now I'm sad...I've killed a man* and *now I'm mad they are going to kill me* and *now I'm reborn and resigned to my fate*.  Maybe she should have been thinking *mama...I've lost the title*; *stupid voters, I will show you*; and *watch me act confused and helpless America as I am saved by the judge's grace*.  The judges remain seated and compliment her vocal skills.  No one mentions that the song was completely wrong for her.  But, Steven suggests that maybe she cannot sing Rock music and Jennifer sort of agrees so I guess Jessica has to go back to singing the phonebook.  The judges remain seated.

Skylar, comes out and completely slays The Show Must Go On.  I took no notes because I was mesmerized.  Everyone on the boards wanted their favorite to sing this song (I really hoped Elise would sing it).  The judges said it was phenomenal, fabulous, she meant every word.  They remain seated. 

Joshue goes back to singing an upbeat song with A Crazy Little Thing Called Love.  It was entertaining.  He shouted a bit.  He did some sort of slide movement at the end of it which fell a little flat.  I was thinking throughout the song...surely they will not stand for this when they didn't stand for Skylar.  Nope...Randy and Steven are standing up and Jennifer takes her time but gets there too.  And I'm thinking OMG...if he farts Volare will they stand up too?  

Elise sings I Want It All and I'm just wishing she had sung the song Skyler sang.  Steven thinks its great, the judges agree its great.  I wanted more.  Still I love Elise.

Having listened to Jennifer call him sexy last week, Phillips does a tribute to her with Fat Bottomed Girls.  I noticed you could barely hear him sing during the verse where he might have to stay on key because the chorus was louder than him and carried the melody he could not manage to carry.  He then goes into Manbearpig mode and growls the chorus.  Randy is right.  This was not a GREAT performance...except by the backup singers.    I think Randy was being generous calling it good.  The judges do not stand up.

Holly sings *Save Me* and I'm thinking, well at least the judges won't say she lacks emotion as she was nearly bent over with it throughout the song.  I thought it was good, not great, and not up to Skylar's or Elise' performance, but as good if not better than Jessica's performance.   The judges throw water on her and tell her she needs to *let go*; *not let go*; *sing high*; *sing low*; *sing Sweet Chariot*; *just go home already*.  The judges keep their seats.

After the first round, Jennifer says Skylar is the winner and Steven seems to agree.  I agree.  I just don't get why they gave Joshua the standing O and not Skyler and I'm starting to fume. 

 Round 2:  

Jessica has just now inflamed me with rage because she is singing a song that always makes me cry and I don't want to cry when she sings...but I do.  I really cannot blame her for pulling out the *my father is in the service and is being deployed* sympathy card.  I can believe she is a daddy's girl after looking at that mean hatchet faced tiger mother of hers.  Daddy is probably the only one who ever lets her eat.   It was a great performance but the judges...even though Jennifer says she has never heard it sung so well....remain seated.

Now the show is running off time so they don't bother to tell us what song Skylar is singing which is Tattoo on This Town by Jason Aldean.  Steven didn't like it so much but Skylar explains it was for her homey's and I thought it was a great performance and would have been a standout but for the comparison to her first performance.  The judges don't get up.

Here comes Joshua again.  There is no intro to his song but it is not needed as the judges are already standing up.   He sings Ready For Love.  Lots of vocal runs. Jennifer says he focuses the whole room on his performance.  Not me...I'm just counting the seconds until the standing O.  Five, four, three, two, one....BINGO!  

Elise has finally accepted she just ought to do her rocker songs that she does with her own band and I gather Wallace, who accompanies her on Jimi Hendrix's Bold As Love, is in her band.  I agree with Steven.  She needed to do a song more people knew, particularly when they don't even bother to introduce the song or the original artist,  but I think she did a good job and I think Randy is just pissed that Elise had more runs in this song than Joshua did in his.  This was a mixed bag for the judges and they stay in their seats. 

Phillips sings a song by the Dave Matthews Band.  I do not know what the name of it is and they don't have time to tell us.  I am a bit amused that one of the first lyrics is *I am in extreme pain* because that is exactly what he looks like when he is singing every song he has ever sung and as much as Jessica Sanchez gets on my last nerve I have to say she nailed him tonight in her impersonations and saying he turns ugly faces and looks like he is in pain when he sings.  I think she was thinking what I have been thinking all along that there is a major intestinal problem there that goes beyond the kidney stone.  Do you think she has been reading this blog?   Ryan's girlfriend thinks he is yummy.   Steven thinks he has earned the right to take risks and *go alone*, Jennifer is scared because the song is not well-known and he sounded like an asshole singing it, and Randy uses the word artist 405 times in his critique.  Despite his artistry, bravery, blah blah arty farty hes a smarty performance, the judges don't stand up.

Miley Cyrus is a wannabe Lindsay Lohan with a very limited vocal range and only autotune has made it possible for her to have a recording career.  But, The Climb, is an inspirational song.  And I told you all, Hollie is a tough, smart, girl.  With her Liverpool backround (hard knock town) combined with her Texas backround (don't mess with us), she is probably as *thick-boned* as Skylar, if not more so.   So, I cried when she sang tonight.  The judges hated having to stand up for this but they would have been booed to oblivion if they didn't.  Hollie has a lot of fans. 

Its getting harder to predict the third of the bottom three.  I'm going out on a limb and saying Elise, Jessica, and Skylar.  I'm afraid Skylar may be the *shock* elimination tomorrow night but I would hope its Jessica.  And of course, Elise is never safe. 

I would so love to see Phillips, Joshua, or Jessica  go home.  I admit my new aversion to Joshua is based on the judge's absolute pandering to his every move. 





    
   

The Jackson Four

This week, Randy Jackson confirmed the views of those of us who have claimed the judges are highly partisan this season,  when he told the ladies of The Talk that he thinks the top 4 are Phillips, Jessica, Skyler, and Josh. He also suggested he would like the judges to have more than one save.   So nice for Holly and Elise.  I just hope he keeps getting more and more surprises from the voting public. 


In other news, Colton thinks singing the Lady Gaga song (which I gather has some racy lyrics...I really cannot remember the lyrics) alienated his fans.  I think Colton (and a lot of other people) overestimated his fan base to begin with. 

Just recovering ...

... from the shocking elimination.  Which is why it's taken me so long to comment on Baby of the Week's vote-out.

(Just kidding.  I've just been busy.)

We haven't seen much of Baby of the Week's attitude up until this point.  Elise has been thrown under the bus as a bitch, Phil has been poked at for being too nonchalant, but Colton has been edited to appear a sweet little Christian boy who loves all.

I believe in Karma, kid.

The voters of America may not have seen you say "I don't care" about the judges criticism before they dialed in (or didn't dial in).  But somebody did.  And that somebody reached down, flicked your ear, and said, "Do you 'care' now?"

I like to think that America saw Schlyer and realized that she's way cuter, way sweeter, and they'd rather be voting for her ... except he STOLE her spot.  

The Tebowing at the end made me get up and leave the room.  Thank God I don't have to watch this kid again.

Colton Dixon Eliminated On Idol....Shock ME!

Colton Dixon was not America's Baby of the Week this week and no one could save him from a shock elimination.  As he went into a full Tebow before singing his final song, I can only speculate on why America sent this young man home.  First and foremost, it has to be because he stunk up the stage last night.  Second, perhaps the tween/teen vote is not as strong as we have always believed it to be...or else they find Phillip more appealing.  Third, I think he was getting just a little bit sure of himself.  Fourth, perhaps America was reminded of him hi-jacking his sister's auditon.   Fifth, he has been described as *knowing how to play the Idol game* and some viewers may have decided they don't like being played.  And finally, perhaps it was just America saying *Judges...we don't love your favorites so up your hineys once more*.

And, any residual sympathy I had for him (and there wasn't a lot) went out the window when  the showed the post performance clip of him saying *he didn't care* what the judges thought of his performance.  He has one bad review night from the judges and he throws an attitude.  Viewers did not see that last night so we cannot blame his pride for his fall, but there was a certain schadenfraude on my part when he got sent home. 

Damn it Jimmy...I think he has finally figured out why Jessica isn't stealing America's hearts.  I said a bit ago she was dressing too old (and maybe I said singing too old too).  Now she will be singing Disney tunes. Can Candle in the Wind be too far behind?   

Despite being in the bottom three almost all of the time, it appears Hollie and Elise are picking up some fans.  I'm a little worried about Elise sticking up for herself last night and tonight because viewers don't like contestants who *talk back*.  I'm pretty sure she was convinced she was toast tonight and decided she was going to tell it like she saw it.   She may pay for it next week.

I slept through the first 10 minutes of the show so missed what happened there.  I enjoyed Kris Allen although I thought he was *pitchy* tonight.  And his song has my pet peeve...the chorus which has a bar or two going up a full octave.  Every other song has that trick.  I am sick of it. 

What about Taylor Hicks?  I thought he had been barred from Idol property!  Good for him being in Vegas this summer.  I didn't watch his season.  He looks like a character! 

LMFAO reminds me of the 20 teens decade's Village People.  If you don't remember who they are, google them.  Complete waste of airtime from my perspective. 

As you can expect, the official Idol message boards are going crazy tonight with Colton's elimination. 

I'm happy as can be with the results. 

 

Colton Dixon's Bad Romance In September Has Him Rolling in the Deep Doodoo.

Oh what a night... tributes, drama, reverse psychology, lies, anger, exuberance, two songs each,  and a sick dog all combined in 2 hours of Idol tonight to make my head spin.

The show begins with a replay of the Jessica is SAVED drama.  We see lots of poignant shots of her crying and looking sad and forlorn.  Feel sorry for her audience and vote for her this week.  

Then Ryan pays a tribute to Dick Clark, who should be Ryan's Idol (and probably is).  Dick Clark seemed to never age.  We all got wrinkles, grey hair and pot bellies but until he had his stroke, he seemed to still be a young man.  Young people will not remember American Bandstand but it was must see TV in the after school hours for teenagers of my generation.  We copied the hairstyles, the dances, the clothes, and learned what 45 records to buy to play on our mono record players. Not that in my house we could afford to buy very many of them.  I'm thinking that back then a 45 with an A and B side (that means 2 songs) cost $1.00.  About the cost of a download now.  Someone correct me if I'm wrong.  He just always stayed young at heart.  I bet he had Gaga and Adele, and Usher and even Nicky Menage on his Ipod when he died. 

As I predicted, Hollie goes first.  Like KK, I expected Rolling In the Deep to Be a disaster but she was clever and started with the big chorus which I think got her on key and into the groove.  She did great.  The judges said she did great.  But, frankly, I thought she has been doing nearly as great the whole season.  I'm convinced the judges were using reverse psychology.  Knowing that trashing her last week led to a backlash of votes for her, they are complimenting her this week so that people won't vote for her instead of Jessica.  Hah!  Won't work.  Unlike KK, I am not a fan of Son of A Preacher Man but she belted it like no tomorrow and good for her.  Maybe not being in the bottom three gave her some confidence that America likes her...they really do!   I loved the Liverpool Football Club coming on to give her a boost.  I'm not sure how she will fare this week but I don't think she will be going home.

Colton gets the death spot.  Probably because they know the girl vote is going to keep him around no matter what.  Colton appears to know this too as his first song, Bad Romance, is just stupid.  He is wearing some sort of jacket with tails on it and dancing around the stage trying to act like he is a rocker.  He looks like an organ grinder's monkey.  His key is too low to start and he never really gets to the highs.

  

Then he sings September by Earth Wind and Fire and really is rolling in a deep pile of excrement by the end of it.  The verses are once again too low and they are flat.  He is sleeping through the song and I'm thinking that with that attitude he is lucky to keep the girl until noon on September 1.  The judges actually acknowledge he is not perfect.  KK has addressed the appearance of his sister Schuyler.  Perhaps he has been reading the very few comments about him being an ass for taking her chance away from her.  I predict there will be huge sibling warfare in the coming years and probably a legal proceeding in which they battle for their parent's worldly goods upon their demise.  Schulyer will get screwed out of the china and crystal, you just know it.

I would rank Elise's performance of No One higher than KK but I haven't heard my other favorite niece sing it.  The judges liked it well enough.  Ryan asks her why she is emotional and she says her dog is dying.  Now normally, I would find this pandering but I'm thinking go for the dog lover's vote here girl!  You are way underrated and anyone else would use it so you go for it!  I think she did oversing Lets Get It On..she could have left out some of the runs and trills and just done it straight.  She didn't give any room for our ears to *rest*.  However, I do not agree she shows no emotions when she sings.  I think the judges were just looking for something to trash her for so she won't get more votes than Jessica and pulled out the *emotion* card since they couldn't use it on Hollie  week what with the reverse psychology game they were playing. 

Phillips is doing something different this week since last week they said he was sort of in a rut.  He does Usher's You Got It Bad (I am not familiar with this song) and says he is going to be intimate.  From the judges comments, I gather this was an *arty* version of the song.  I say arty farty as he always looks like he is clinching his sphincter muscles to hold something in.  He starts off singing but halfway through manbearpig comes back and he just growls the rest of the song.  I didn't even notice he didn't use his guitar on Midnight Hour.  The judges loved it.  For me it was just more manbearpig.  JLo liked his dance move...and wanted to know what to call it.  I call it *my kidney stone hurts and I need to defecate*.  He would have brought down the house on American Bandstand with that move!  I'm still unimpressed. His weird faces remind me of the crazy sociopath in slasher movies. He gets a standing O for the first song, I believe.

Ah, and now comes the precious, beloved, adorable, Jessica Sanchez.  Talk about an *attitude*.  When the 7 were introduced at the first part of the show she stood there all morose and pouty.  I guess she will show US!  
After a prolonged mentoring session with Jimmy (coddling her like Lauren) she sings Fallen by Alicia Keys.  Like Hollie, she starts with the big chorus then she adds some growls like Elise.  The judges fawn all over her again but there is no standing O.  Then, she comes out and sings *Try A Little Tenderness* as if she is going to rip the entire voting American public a new lower orifice for rejecting her.  I'm sorry...I didn't realize this song was an angry song.  The judges talk about her emotions too.  I think she was emoting just fine tonight...she is PISSED OFF at being eliminated.  She then lies and says she thought the judges *didn't like her*.  Oh please.  I vowed not to be so mean about her this week but the big lie just is too much for me to ignore.   

And then comes our little dark horse Skylar.  This girl can PERFORM.  She just takes over the stage and it doesn't matter what theme they give her she kills it.  She will be my new favorite when Elise goes home.  I loved her take on *Born This Way* and I was glad Gaga did a country version of it so that Skylar wouldn't get trashed for making it country.  I also loved Heard It Through The Grapevine.  This girl is going to be big.  

Joshua, oh Joshua.  Of course he is going to sing Fantasia's I Believe.  He gets a standing O.  Do they just time his performances for the judges'  Deep Vein Thrombosis break or do the judges really want to stand for him each time he appears.  It was fine.  Not memorable.  Not a moment.  Not a standing O moment.  Then he does A Change Is Gonna Come and he deserves all the praise he gets for it but perhaps not the standing O.  The last time I recall hearing this song sung on Idol was when Sayesah Mercado sang it and explained she identified with it because  her journey on Idol was like the Civil Rights Struggle of the 1960's when marchers were being beaten with billy clubs and had fire hoses knocking them down and churches were being bombed and voting registrars murdered and men hung from trees. (You can see why I still don't like Sayesha).  But Joshua really was probably born on a river and if not in a tent in a bayou shack.  So...I was moved by his rendition.  I get angry at the judges for pimping him so much...but truth be told...I like him, I really do.

Now for a blatant plug and plea.  If you are a regular reader of our blog, please click the Google +1 icon.  This lets others know about it.  I know its silly, but it makes our day when to see that more people are reading it and commenting...even if they do call us *c...s...ers*. 

Predictions on bottom 3:  Hollie, Elise, Joshua.  I think we will lose Elise this week. 

  

   

 

     

Does Everybody Have to Cry?!?

The judges spent the entire night telling everyone to "connect to America" by "showing emotion" and "letting go".  Tonight, more than ever, I wish Simon was still there to roll his eyes and just say, "look, it wasn't good"

Best to Worst, by performance:

Dave Matthews Ditto doing Usher! - Well hell, kid.  Usher?  You Got It Bad?  Who would've ever thought that one of Phil's performances would be the 1st of the year that I really want to download?!?  Remember when Kris Allen pulled out Kanye's Heartless?  Then he won the whole damn show?  Phil Phillips might've just won himself the whole damn show.  So sick!!

Hollie's Adele - When she said "Adele", all of America held their breath.  When she said "Rolling in the Deep", all of America rolled their eyes.  But Oh. My. God. Hollie KILLED it!  There are so FEW covers of Adele that I can even tolerate, and fewer that I actually like.  I'm so excited for Hollie's big night!

Skylar's Born This Way - I loved the country version, too, JLo!  Who knew!  I feel like I can actually watch Skylar growing and changing each week, and it's awesome that the judges consistently like her!

Jacob 2.0's Change Gonna Come - I won't lie.  When Ryan Seacrest told us Jacob would be back with "an emotional civil rights anthem" I instantly knew what he'd sing and I audibly sighed.  Just because he's African American, and sings gospel music, doesn't mean he can sing this song.  But damn it, I loved it.  I loved the groans, I loved the overdone runs.  How did HE not get teary at the end of THIS song?  Oh, he was focused on JLo's abs?  I'm pretty sure that's not the "emotional connection" the judges (or your grandma) were going for. 

Hollie's Dusty Springfield - It was a little rocky in parts and started out a little rough (I'm stingy with compliments here because it's one of my favorite songs), but she's on the verge of a breakthrough here.  You can't compare her to Jessica Sanchez anymore!  And, considering Jessica was in the bottom 3 last week and Hollie wasn't, that's a good thing!

Skylar's Heard It Through The Grapevine - Nobody can ever say this girl doesn't know what genre she belongs in.  She just made the Smokey Robinson & The Miracles country.  And it was awesome.  

Let's Get It On, Elise - So sexy.  And her scream in the middle ... did I hear a little Steven Tyler in there?  Wha, judges?  "show emotion in the middle of Marvin Gaye"  Like that scene in When Harry Meets Sally?  What do they want?  I wish she wouldn't have critiqued herself at the end, though.  That negates any votes the "my dog is dying" quip won her. 

Elise's No One - The cheesy dress, weird squat into the wind machine, and new tan made me think I was watching Mariah Carey.  No One has a special place in my heart because I watched my little sister soothe my favorite nephew as a newborn by singing it to him.  She did it better than Elise tonight, unfortunately.  Not my favorite performance, but I still love Elise.


Jessica Sanchez' Falling - Is she singing it horribly?  Of course not!  But it was typical.  She wasn't sitting on the piano, but it was still right there.  She does look so pretty though - THIS, AI stylists, is how you do up a 16 year old.  (The whole BS about "I thought you didn't like me and didn't want me to sing" should've put her at the bottom of this list.  And I think THAT is exactly why America doesn't like her - she's not believable!)

Jessica Sanchez' Tenderness - Ridiculous.  If the judges really wanted to help her, they'd tell her the truth: it was her worst performance.  Instead they pulled out all of this "connect with America" crap out.  All the emotion in the world wouldn't have made this good. 

Baby of the Week's Gaga - Sister was so diplomatic and sweet: complimenting him and supporting him.  Even though you could tell, deep inside, she's dying that he's this far and he did it by literally stealing her spot.  All Jimmy has to say about his butchering of Gaga is "he's got a female fan base".     

Jacob 2.0's Fantasia - Zzzzz.  I'd like to blog about it, but it put me to sleep.  (I do love his style.  Every single week he's rockin' a fantastic outfit!)  I'm over the tears at the end of every. single. song.  But the judges aren't, clearly, because they stood up.  Again.  Joshua could've stood there and sung Jingle Bells and they still would've bent over backwards digging him out of last week's bottom 3.


Dave Matthews Ditto's Midnight Hour - I think he was singing, but I was so uncomfortable with the weird shrugs, grimmaces, and side-eye, that I literally had to turn away.  "Brilliantly awkward" is so, so true, Steven.  Twitchy!  Please, Phil, put the guitar back on.  I promise I won't make fun of it anymore now that I know what the alternative is.

Baby of the Week's September - Worst performance of the night.  If anybody else sang this (read: a guy who isn't milking the tween girl and Christian votes) they'd be out the door.  Absolutely giddy watching the judges criticize him.  For once.

Bottom 3:  Elise, Hollie, Joshua

Going home:  I'm afraid it'll be Elise.  
 
P.S.  Randy - the talent on this show is NOT better than the talent on "any show on TV right now"  Not even close.