Fillmore Seats

I missed the first few minutes of the show so I was late catching on to the show coming from the Fillmore Detroit theater.  This is Ford's way of helping Detroit make a comeback, evidently.  The audience seemed happy, the performers seemed happy so good for them and I hope they all make it home in one piece tonight.  

It was boy's night and the first time these guys are performing for America.  Over all, they did not disappoint but of course, I have a few choice words for some of them.  

First up was Adam E.  I really hope he is not around long enough for me to learn how to spell his last name.  His overly zany clown personality gets on my last nerve.  So does his Joe Cocker/Caleb imitation singing I Want To Rock (maybe its called something else...I have no idea).  I don't think he carried the microphone stand around with him but he might as well have.  The performance did get the crowd going and he is the only rocker of the group so there may be votes for him.  

Speaking of votes, I'm not sure anyone is watching this show anymore and if they are they better have access to the internet because that is the only way to figure out how to vote.  I actually like the internet voting because I can feel like I have done my limited part for the few I like and it takes no time.  Long gone are the days when I sat with my trusty flip phone hitting repeat to vote for Crystal Bowersox.  My flip phone is not long gone.  

Michael Simeon is up next in the spot I and others who are long time watchers call the "Death Spot".  He sings "How am I Supposed to Live Without You".  I'm sorry Michael, but your breathy voice doesn't woo me.  I hope I am able to live without you next week.  

I voted for Savion Wright.  I like this guy.  I'm not really so much a fan of his music as I am a fan of him.  He is so positive.  I'm not sure he will make it through given the competition but I hope he does.  He sang "Hey Soul Sister" which was not all that dramatic and I'm afraid it might hurt him.  Also, he was singing awfully close to the Death Spot.

I thought Mark Andrew's (without his stocking cap tonight) performance  of "Take a Load off Annie/Fannie" was lack luster.  Dare I say sleepy?  He will probably make it through because the judges praised him but if he does not I will not lose any of my own sleep about it. 

OMG.  Trevor the Geek.  Talk about imploding on stage. I cannot remember what he sang.  All I remember is him jumping around like Jiminy Cricket singing off key, off tempo, and off everything.  I hate to hark back to his Hunk of Burning Love performance, but I couldn't help myself from making a note as performed:  "This is a hunk of burning stool".  The judges complimented his energy because there wasn't anything else nice to say about it. Please be gone Trevor.  Go back to school.  Find cures for the world's diseases.  Make music your hobby. 

And now, for my favorite performance of the night.  When Clark Beckham started "When A Man Loves A Woman", I wanted to lose 40 years and more than 40 pounds and send him a groupie fan letter.  I hope the other old ladies like me vote for him.  He isn't all that "current" but I don't care.  

Rayvon sang "I Get Jealous" (or something like that) and I'm not an R&B fan.  The crowd loved him.  Everyone loves Rayvon and while I find him a nice enough guy, I don't get the love. He bored me. 

Daniel Skeevy Seavy, either scatted some of the song or forgot the words.  I suspect he will make it through.  I am going to get even sicker of him than I am now.  

Riley Bria (a.k.a. Keith Suburban) sang "Homeboy".  He has a good voice.  I would like him more if I didn't think he was taking votes away from Clark and Savion.

Quentin "Fashionista" was up next singing "I Put A Spell On You".  He put a spell on me alright.  A spell that made me think his overly dramatic and turgid version of this song was the second worst performance of the night.  It wasn't burning but it was a hunk of stool in my opinion.  The judges totally disagreed, thought it was a moment, and praised him to the skies.  JLo wants to be him, I think.  Harry likes him because he is from New Orleans and Harry thinks he is a character out of Confederacy of Dunces.  I think Keith was just trying to be politically correct about a guy who likes to dress up in something other than jeans and a t-shirt.  

My second favorite contestant is Nick Fradiani (I have been calling him some other Italian surname this whole season which, considering he is one of my favorites, shows how invested I am in this season...I'll get better).
His performance was good but not overwhelming and I hope it is enough for him to get through.  It is probably his experience but he has a David Cook quality about him.  Serious about the music.  

The last guy, Qassim, is a dancing fool.  It is nice to end the show on something lively but for the life of me I cannot take this guy seriously.  I noticed he seemed to be encouraging his fellow contestants through the program though and getting into their music so I imagine he is a really nice person.  I would like to simmer down, stand there and sing.  I might really like him if he did.  

Overall, I think its a pretty strong group.  No Lazaros to be found.  I'm going to go out on a limb and say that America saw its American Idol of 2015 tonight.  

Fodder Fodder Everywhere

With about three exceptions, I think we saw tonight, the bottom 9 or 10 of the top 24.  Or at least the ones who should be in the bottom 9 or 10.  

The show ended last night with us wondering about Hollywood.  I was quite critical of him and hoped he didn't make it through.  But before we know his fate, we see Josh in one of those stovepipe hats that seem to be the rage among young men aspiring to be hip or cool or whatever they call it these days.  Josh didn't make it.  IDC because I don't even know who Josh is. It does seem sad that the only time they show his face is when they tell him to go away. 

So, Hollywood didn't make it after all.  He took it with so much grace that I've decided he doesn't MMS.  I still don't think he should have made it this far.

Joey Cook, who cannot remember the words to any songs except the one she keeps singing with her ukelele (it was her audition song I believe) makes it through because she is the "kiwi" of the bunch.  I should like her.  I don't dislike her.  But she better toughen up and learn some lyrics.  She is NMF.

And then comes Kathryn Winston.  I don't recall much being made of her before tonight.  She is genuine, appears humble and grateful for her chance, and man can she sing.  She shouldn't be fodder but with her brown hair and unassuming ways I'm afraid she will not stand out against Bada Bing and Cubic Zirconium, and Drama Queen Jax.  I will vote for her.  It didn't hurt my opinion that she sang Rhiannon at the House of Blues.

Maddie who appeared to be the chosen one (unless she flames out as JLo said after her audition) flamed out.  I don't even know what that House of Blues performance was except very bad.  Maybe next year.  But ultimately, IDC.

Ok, Alexis Gomez sang in Spanish in response to JLo's suggestion and I must say I didn't think it was all that great.  I don't like the song in English or Spanish so that probably influenced my opinion.  She was going to make it through no matter what because they need at least one country girl.  Country is not on the producer's agenda this year but they did throw its fans a bone here.  IDC.

Quentin the Fashionista is one about whom I do not get the love.  IDC.  I don't think America will care that much either.

Good for Savion Wright.  For the first time I appreciated his performance.  They didn't feature him much leading up to this.  I like him and hope he does well enough to make it to the top 10 but ultimately, he is NMF.

Trevor the Geek sang Hunk of Burning Love at the House of Blues.  His performance was a hunk of burning something all right.  The stuff Mr. Auntee used to shovel out of latrines, douse with kerosene and set on fire when he was stationed in Korea.  Ever on the lookout for the next Justin Bieber, the producers put him through.  IDC.

Mark Andrew took his hat off.  He isn't bald as I suspected or even balding but he doesn't look any better without the stocking cap.  I liked him at first.  Then he got all whiny because he was "tired" and I don't like him so much.  He might not be fodder but...NMF bordering on MMS.  

Emily, sadly, is sent home because they have their country girl and she sings Spanish too.  Come back next year Emily.

Definitely not fodder and one of my 3 favorites is the old man Nick Traviani who doesn't even try to flirt with JLo even though she flirts with him.  She might not stand for that for very long and start giving him bad reviews.  Just a thought.  Sometimes I amaze myself with my predictions about JLo and her conduct which come true. 

Qassim the dancing fool with the menopausal and overbearing mother made it through.  He is bordering on MMS territory.  I hope he is fodder.

The winners of the last 2 slots were entirely predictable if you just took at look at them.  Ricky is a better singer but Riley is cuter so Riley goes through.  Shi can barely sing and only her commercial look could have carried her this far.  Jelly is well...Jelly.  No contest there for the producers.  Shi is commercial and skinny and shows off her body so she goes through.  I don't have anything against Riley but Shi is just a bad singer.  IDC  about Riley and Shi MMS.

So...now we know.  Here are my top 3 picks:  Clark Beckham, Nick Traviani, and Kathryn Winston.  That and $3.89 will get you a mocha caramel latte with whipped cream on top at Quick Trip.   







     

Its All About the Boys

Well, the producers have made their decisions. The judges pretend they agree.  And we are half way to "our" top 24.  I have ranked them with initials:  NMF (not my favorite); MMS (makes me sick); IDC (I don't care); and MIV (maybe I'll vote).  

Michael Simeon is the first one we see face the music. His House of Blues performances was all breathy insincerity. He still irks me for that stupid slow dance with JLo during his audition.   Really, any one who hits on JLo should be disqualified.  He makes it through.  NMF.  Hope he fades early because the more I type the more he is moving into MMS territory.

Lauren Lott is as genuine as cubic zirconium.  She is an actress and its obvious.  She sang "My Heart Will Go On" at the House of Blues with lots of arm movements.  First, that song is ridiculous even when Celene Dion sings it.  Second, she MMS. 

Adam E (they don't show his last name long enough for me to get its spelling down) does his Joe Cocker imitation and its enough to get him through to the top 24.  IDC. 

Cody Fry aka Poindexter does not make it through.  His real problem is he looks like Poindexter.  No amount of talent is going to make up for that in the producer's eyes.  
Lovey James (Bada Bing) girl, shouts her song at the House of Blues. She is a former pageant girl and it shows. Technically it was OK but she didn't move me.  NMF.

Then a couple of people we never heard of are sent home.  

Adona was really worried.  Watching her perform at the House of Blues made Lauren and Lovey look even more plastic.  This girl can sing and make you feel it.  MIV.  If they had sent her home, I might have just quit watching the show.  I mean you know its rigged but that would have been just too much for me to take, especially after Jess Lamb. (No...I will not let that one go).

Then we have the painful sing off between Maddie and Rachel.  Maddie is more plastically polished than Rachel and she takes Rachel's place.  Rachel wasn't too happy and I don't blame her.  As for Maddie...she isn't as plastic as Lauren and Lovey but she is NMF.

And then there is Clark Beckham.  Melinda Doolittle wants to hook up with him according to the latest Reality Check.  I called him a throwback in my last blog entry.  I would not throw him back.  I would reel him in.  I almost got goosies.  I like him a lot.  I will probably vote for him. He may become my favorite.  No initials for him.

Daniel Seavy is becoming creepy.  Creepy creepy.  Who wants a 15 year old ladies man whose voice has barely changed.  NMF. 

Tyonna Jones was homeless growing up and wants to do this for her family (doesn't everyone?).  Normally, those sad stories do not move me and I'm not moved by hers.  I am moved by her performance.  Contrast her with plastic Lauren and Lovey.  She is on at least 5 levels of talent higher.  MIV.

I know Rayvon is a big favorite.  He seems like a nice guy. He doesn't move me though.  IDC.

Shannon, who has never sung in public before this competition does OK singing Piece of My Heart but she is no Crystal Bowersox, let alone Janis Joplin.  I don't think she will make the top 12.  IDC.

Jax is getting on my last nerve with her drama.  First she cloyingly sings Let It Be to her parents.  Then she tries for a pregnant pause in her House Of Blues performance which makes the audience nervous. She needs to cut that crap right out.  She is moving rapidly going into NMF territory with me and if she keeps the drama up, she will move into MMS. 

We don't know if Hollywood made it or not.  Not only do I not care, I actively hope he does not.  He is a minimally talented poseur.  MMS.  

So, tomorrow we will see who else makes it.  I hope the "old man" does.  For now, I'm with Melinda.  I'm a fan of Clark Beckham. 

For a hilarious and insightful take on these performers, check out Michael Slezak's blog and Reality Check with Slezak and Melinda Doolittle.  Google it because I'm too lazy to give you a link.  

Its Cuttin' Time

Finally,  we get to see some real performances (or selected portions thereof). But sadly, my two favorites are gone.  One I expected, the other I didn't. 

First up is Loren Lott singing Skyfall "because it makes me cry".  Loren's veins are filled with ice so I don't buy that for a minute.  She will be in the top 10 unless America decides they hate her.  She is determined.  She is also very very good.  She is so much the "total package" that I want to wrap her up and send her by UPS.  To wherever Angie Miller and Jena Irene and Pia Toscano are.  

Next, is Daniel Seavy who is about 12 years old.  He sings "I See Fire".  He is good, he is cute, he seems sweet but really...he is a CHILD! 

Big Ron and Ricky Minor had a major disagreement about the arrangement.  Big Ron sticks with "Lets Get It On" which is a stupid stupid song and he is acting like a stupid stupid little boy no matter how big he is.  I don't think his performance would have grabbed the crowd's attention at a Holiday Inn Lounge on the outskirts of Topeka.  I guess Harry had a heads up from Ricky about Big Ron's attitude because he gives Big Ron an opening to talk about the band and Big Ron disses Ricky. Big Ron went down.

I have no idea why Shia went through.  She sang All I Can Do is Cry and not all that well.  She has a commercial look, I guess.  

I was not expecting Adam Lasher to fail.  But he did.  I expected a lot more from his performance.  Well, maybe his uncle can open some doors for him.  He showed a lot of promise but hubris did him in.  A free fall indeed right from the sun. 

Quentin Alexander, the Fashionista, went through.  He gets on my nerves and I don't know why.  Maddie, a blonde country singer went through.  

Up next is Alexis Granville who famously passed out in the group round.  She is much better today.  Not nervous at all.  She starts with "You Light Up My Life" And she is so off key it is laughable.  Each phrase is in a different key.  This is painful.  Harry takes mercy and lets her start again.  This girl cannot carry a tune today (if she ever could).  She actually looks shocked when she is stopped mid-song.  She didn't know she wasn't on key.  Talk about a grenade....this was a nuclear explosion.

Jax, the twee little thing, sings "Let It Be" to her mom and dad.  I'm not sure if I like her or hate her but I do hate her headband.  Michael Simeon performs.  I forgot what he did.  I forgot whether he made it through.

Several entries ago, I wrote that JLo hates old contestants but only if they are female because she is looking for her new boy toy.  She found him in Nick, who is 28 but hey...he is not jaded one little bit in JLo's eyes.  She actually put her finger in her mouth and gave him goo goo eyes before he performed.  She "LUUVS" him.  I like him too.  But if JLo doesn't learn to keep her pants on when he performs, this is going to get very old very fast.  

Katherine with the psychic cat is up next.  She has tried ever so hard to be ever so hip and original.  She screams her song.  She goes home.  Sadly, Mustafa is no longer in this world.  

They send Jess Lamb home.  She was my favorite of all the auditions.  We don't know why she went home because we didn't see her perform.  At least with Adam I could see his performance was lacking.  Now I have conspiracy theories dancing in my head.

Clark Beckham is a throwback.  I'm not sure what I think of him.  Mark Andrews would probably remember the words if his head was not so hot with that stocking cap.  They both go through (for now). 

Joey forgot the words in the group round.  So, what does she choose for her song today?  Across the Universe.  Which has convoluted mystical lyrics that you would need to hear 400 times in order to remember them.  We only hear her sing 5 words so have to take her word for it that she forgot everything but "Nothings Gonna Change My World".  I like her but dang she is not very bright. 

They love Lovey.  I thought Lovey was better last night.  They love Rayvon.  Rayvon is OK but I think there is a reason other than his talent that JLo is remembering him.  Get her a man fast before she ravages all the contestants!  Finally, the guy they call the "mini-Keith", Riley.  Grandmas will love him.  I don't think there are any teens watching this show any more but if they were, they might love him too.  Or not.  They might like the 28 year old guy.  

So, with my favorites gone I can sit back and snark all I want this season.  Yay for that.  I still wish Jess was in the show.  

   

Grenade

That song is going around and around in my head.  And, typical of every Hollywood Week, some of the contestants took a grenade for the team and were sent home.  

This episode was so heavily edited that it was hard to take notes and make much sense of things except that there were some contestants the editors wanted us to know and some they didn't.  Last episode ended with Alexis fainting or having a meltdown.  I didn't see the first few minutes of this week's show, so I don't know how she rebounded but she did and went through with Jax.  Sal and Kelly took the grenade.  Alexis is trouble. 

Emily had food poisoning and a barf bag but managed to keep it down long enough to go through.   The Belmont group with the guy who looks like Poindexter (there is always a Poindexter) made it through intact.  A little trivia for you.  Belmont University is also Melinda Doolittle's alma mater and has a great music program.  

The Vital Signs were all out for number one.  Cindy and Alona made it through.  I found them very easy to loathe.

Hollywood abandoned Team No Sleep to flirt with the girls and preen before the camera.  Then he slept.  Poor Laurel tried to bring the team together but failed.  There is no fairness in Hollywood so she blew up with the grenade and Hollywood stayed. 

My favorite group of the night sang acapella and starred Jess Lamb and Lovey (the Bada Bing Girl).  I thought we wouldn't see Jess again and this was probably our last sighting but I'm glad she made it through.  Lovey was a lot better here than in her audition but my vote is still out on her. 

Poor Rocky.  They named the group after him but he still didn't make it through.  

And there is always one absolutely spoiled brat drama queen every year who is so misunderstood (i.e. not bowed to by the group) that he or she wants to switch teams in the middle of the night.  Heather thought production would help her out and put her in another group (yeah right)or perhaps sing solo?  Because by god, if she had to stay in that group she wasn't going to sing!  I gather she was told stay in the group and sing or go home because she stayed in the group.  And I was really afraid she wouldn't be punished for her s*** stirring ways.  She was. She didn't know it but the grenade had her name on it the minute she started whining to the production team.  She also was pretty lackluster in the performance.

Truly the rest of the groups but the final one just became a blur at this point except they all seemed to be singing Grenade. Somewhere in all the Grenading, Garret Miles and his bevy of beauties performed a country song.  I don't know why they sent Garret home.  They didn't show the bevy of beauties singing so I don't know why they stayed.

Finally, the last group, the Violet Vixens performed.  Not really together.  One of them (Joey) forgot the words.  Individually, I guess they made and impression because they all went through.  I think the judges were punch drunk tired at that point and just grateful they didn't sing Grenade so gave them all a pass.   

Dreaming the Impossible Dream Hollywood Style

Well, over 200 people arrived in Hollywood and each had to be relieved they weren't taken to the hangar of death like last year.  Instead, its a new approach by the producers to let us get to know the top contenders so they showcase them for the first 45 minutes of the show. Somewhere in that 38 is your top 24 plus or minus one or two.  We didn't see all 38 and we saw very little of the ones featured but I have concluded pretty much that I am going to break from my never broken tradition and that my favorite is going to be a guy.  None of the women featured stood out to me (and where, pray tell, was Maddie...she must be getting big exposure later in the week).  

I liked Jax's performance but her look puts me off.  Too many blonde hair extensions.  Mark Andrew is excellent but needs to lose the  stocking cap.  This is LA Mark. not Minneapolis...your head will overheat and you will collapse on stage with heatstroke.  I know you are probably bald or thinning but get over it or borrow some of Jax's hair extensions.  

The next two, whose names I did write down, didn't wow me enough to write anything more about them and now I cannot remember them. Adam of the jeans and flannel shirt and curly hair will need a makeover, but I like him well enough.

They were followed by the girl with the Afro who is 16 (I missed her name because my cat Monica was demonstrating her psychic powers and predicted I would give her wet food), and Savion Wright.  Savion didn't make the cut last year.  Spoiler alert:  He will this year and for the life of me I don't know why.  He is just so generic.  

Hollywood Anderson and Shannon Berthaume had some issues.  Hollywood mangled Adele's Someone Like You trying to be the artiste and Shannon, who has never sung in public before this experience forgot the words to her song.  I don't know why they sent Shannon to Hollywood in the first place but she is evidently impressing someone.  

The next three guys, separated by people who forgot to tune their guitars, may become my favorites.  Adam Asher (who is Carlos Santana's nephew for those of you who forgot this fact) wowed me.  Just give him the damn title and we can go home.  Garret Miles was awesome in his country song and Trevor the Geek did a good job despite my aversion to his showoff licks on his guitar which I thought were overkill and will get old pretty fast with me if he keeps it up.

I missed part of Joey with the pink hair and the ukelele but she is ok if a little too fey for me.  Amber with the purple streaks in her hair had a flat out melt down because she just realized she is way outclassed by the competition, and I give her credit for doing so, even though she was driving me crazy with her sobbing about getting her family out of the hood (her description of her neighborhood--not mine). Maybe she will get far enough to get a makeover by the stylists so she can have better hair extensions to take home with her because she sorely needs them.

So, all 38 are safe for the day and the rest sit there knowing that they are looking at the in crowd and that they are the out crowd.  

The next day comes the really rough stuff.  I was fast losing interest in this group as I know they all have a very small chance of making the top 24.  If we see any of them again I will pay more attention.  The show ended on a really really bad note--literally--when Gabby Zandoval lost it and didn't look like she was going to recover.  Sad for her but that is what happens when you have a stage name (Gabby Z) before you have a stage.  Take a lesson from Icarus, Gabby.    



  

Blogger Down (again)

Once again I had a late doctor's appointment so didn't watch the show.  I actually got back in time with my take out food but I just couldn't muster the enthusiasm.  After last night I think at least one of the finalists is a foregone conclusion so it seemed rather  anti-climactic.  

I'm So Jaded and Idol's the One Who Jaded Me.

As the opening credits span the city of San Francisco it is announced that Idol has saved the best for last. This is a clue to me that they have found some sweet young thing that the producers are going to coddle through Hollywood Week and then push on the voters as they slam all competitors.  I'm just waiting to see which of the minors they have selected.  I'm so jaded. 

Before I begin, I want to harken back to New Orleans and Sarah who was 28 and sent home.  I evidently was not the only one angered by her dismissal nor was I the only one to conclude that it was because she is old.  There were a lot of complaints from the viewers on various websites. As you recall, JLo doesn't like women who are 25 and older because they are jaded and the young things are so fresh and full of hope and spirit.  She doesn't seem to have the same problem with men in the 25-28 age bracket but that may be because she is looking for her next boy toy now that her "pappy" has left the scene and she is single.    

First up is Crazy Catherine with the pimp coat and spandex tights and a story about the coat being a gift from Bowie.  And a psychic cat called Mustafa who told her to audition.  She wants to be a rocker.  She sang a song by Florence and the Machine that I don't know.  I was so distracted by her antics that I don't really know if she was any good or not and I'm pretty sure she is not as crazy as she wanted everyone to believe but I'm so jaded.  I am going to either love her or hate her if she gets very far.  If she makes Lovey the Bada Bing girl look bad, I'm going to love her.  If she is just a brat trying to be different, I'm probably not going to love her.  At least she didn't have hair extensions.  I'll give her credit for that.  She gets no credit for having a psychic cat.  My cat Maxine is psychic too.  Right now she is telling me in her own special way (sitting on my mouse hand)  that I am going to get up and give her some  food in the next few moments.  I don't think Catherine is the chosen one.

Next up is a montage of Erika, Chandler and Ryan.  Erika and Ryan are a yawn.  But I'm so jaded.  Chandler might have some potential.  All go through although Keith wasn't in love with Erika (and neither was I). 

Andrew Bloom and Kelly with the red pants are up next. I have no independent recollection of what they sang or whether they were any good or not because I was busy being jaded (and feeding my psychic cat).   

Reno, who appears to be Hawaiian but I'm not sure comes from a huge family.  Sixty of them lived in one house at one time.  He sleeps in the garage on the floor.  They liked him and he went through.  Seemed a nice enough guy but I'm not overly impressed with his talent.  But, I'm over 25 and I'm jaded.

Samuel Prince who is really from Puerto Rico comes in and the producers would have us believe that the judges are just being clued in on Sam's plan to do a soap opera improv with their participation.  He calls them all up  and starts berating JLo in Spanish.  She may or may not have understood what he was saying.  She slaps him. He cannot sing worth a bean and he doesn't go to Hollywood. Jaded much? 

A gal in a tiara comes on and sings Dancing in the Street while shaking her booty and she is sent home.  Mercifully.  But I bet you dollars to donuts that if she was 15 or 16 and thin she would have gone through to Hollywood.

For the first time this season I was correct on the guess yes or no audience game and the guy with the odd hair goes home.  I guess they have filled the boxes for emos with guitars this season.  

Even though I am jaded, I liked the next guy, Ray Vaughn (or Ravon?) Owen.  

The Cardenas twins come out and its unclear if one or both of them is auditioning.  One plays an out of tune guitar and his brother has to start over and Harry is appalled at their lack of preparation.  They go home. 

And, finally, the one I have been waiting for all night.  The Chosen One:  Maddie Hudson.  She is 16, very pretty, dressed in an offbeat style but not too out there, and probably has hair extensions to go with her wine red lipstick.  She is a mama's girl.  She sang a song I don't know called Resentment (I think) and they all fell in love with her.  Harry tells her she is going to be a star.  If JLo had confetti with her it would have been thrown right then.  They think she will win.  I think she will come in 2nd place behind a WGWG (white guy with guitar).  In fairness, she seemed like a nice girl.  I say "seemed" because I'm jaded.  

One more night in San Francisco (I was hoping for only one night in that town) and then the auditions are over. Praises be!  
     

  

Je ne suis pas amusé. Les bon temps ne roulaient pas

So much for New Orleans.  Can we give it back to the French?  Or at least send Harry, JLo and Keith to Paris to sing You've Got a Friend? 

I have no idea what "boxes" the judges are trying to fill because they did some strange things tonight.  I assume the first 8 minutes of programming was designed to pimp Harry with bad contestants as this is the first time this season we have seen laughable auditions. But...somehow, they kept one or two for later and sent them to Hollywood.  Argh!

Anjelica ("Jelly") Joseph was the first serious contestant and she sang Rolling In the Deep well enough.  She seems to have an infectious personality.  I thought her voice was ordinarily good.  She may have some potential or maybe she fits the box of overweight black woman who sings loud.  

Tiffany Stringer (who does not yet have a stage name but give her time) is 16 and on the drill team in Texas.  Her audition was painful to watch.  She was kicking her leg and rolling her eyes (ala Angie the seal)  and as I recall, essentially talking a song.  But hey, send her Holllywood because she is 16 and cute.  I suspect she is hangar fodder but right now I just don't trust my judgment.  

Grayson Turner is 15 and he and his girlfriend gig around town and he wants to go to the next level (after he goes to the bathroom as he forgot to pee).  Is there something a bit obscene about a 15 year old thinking this way?  He is pretty sure he is all that and does an original song which I thought was pretty corny with a breathy voice.  They loved the way he talked the way he walked and his dark passion.  O.K.  

So after commerical I hear this voice singing St. James Infirmary and I am thinking "finally!"  The performance had a Billie Holliday vibe to it and to me sounded like New Orleans.  Harry says no it does not...or at least it doesn't sound like American IIdolized New Orleans.  Plus, she is 28, doesn't have hair extensions or even (gasp!) blonde hair, and didn't have on much makeup.  Keith says yes, Harry says no, and Jennifer says no because *I don't think you can win the whole thing*.  Of course this is a new criterion that has not been applied to say, Tiffany from the drill team in Texas.  So away goes Sarah with only the memory of singing along to Harry's accompaniment to console her.  Keep singing Sarah.  

Quintin Alexander is from the 9th Ward and he says he survived it by staying indoors and experimenting with fashion.  He sings Royals.  He had on a stupid outfit but the judges thought he looked so so cool.  I think they were mesmerized by the outfit and didn't hear his mediocre voice.  

A contestant from Harry's high school who is a little too full of himself (sorry I cannot read his name in my notes but I think his last name was Duran) sings an original song.  I liked the song.  His voice was a little strange to me.  I approve of sending him to Hollywood even though he thinks his 2.8 GPA in high school was a "great" performance.  

Now it is time for the audience to guess yes or no while a contestant sings us into the break.  It is some blowhard girl trying to sing bluesy but failing.  I'm writing NO NO NO in my notes, even though I know I always guess wrong.  Alexis Cruppa ( change one letter and you will desribe her talent) goes to Hollywood and I pretend to vomit on my houseshoes and think  of Sarah.  

Ricky Dale is a country singer.  He is likeable and not bad so he goes through.  Yawn. 

Great, Briana Jade the drag queen goes to Hollywood because JLo thinks he can win the whole thing (you know she wouldn't have said yes unless she thought so).  Briana Jade comes across to the judges sweet as pie but afterwards in the interview reveals he is a biotch. 

Adam Asher is Carlos Santana's nephew and seems pretty talented.  I will be watching for him in Hollywood.  He seemed pretty modest too.  

Finally,  Erica from Mobile, the ubiquitous single mother auditions.  She is good and goes through.

San Francisco is next week and the final city.  Yay! 

Now, Laissez les mauvais temps cesser de rouler.

Kind of a Drag

Oh these auditions are so tedious! Tonight in Minneapolis all I could think of was fodder fodder everywhere. Everyone who got a golden ticket was so excited--as if they had already had the confetti drop--and my guess is that unless one of them turns up their game significantly, they are going home from the hangar before they see the Hollywood sign.  

First up was Shannon, age 17, who has never sung in front of people before.  She sang House of the Rising Sun in an imitative way--but not good enough for me to tell who she was trying to imitate.  I thought it was shouty and all the melisma and growls she threw in just made it sound corny to me.  But the judges said she had raw talent.  I wouldn't call it raw because in my opinion it was half-baked and I will be surprised if the heat of Hollywood makes it rise.  

Then comes the guy with the golden microphone, Kamil Casey.  He is a nerd.  He cannot sing.  He can dance poorly.  He didn't go through.

There was a montage of women with guitars and maybe one of them had some talent but they must have all been over 23 because we didn't see any of them featured.  

Vanessa who is in love with Keith but smart enough to brown nose JLo and Harry too, was my favorite of the night.  Her husband is in the air force and she has 3 kids at home including a 3 month old baby.  I don't know if we will see her face again.  She seemed a little too sweet for Hollywood but again...she had her suck up stories down pat so maybe there is more to her than it appeared. 

Zach sang with a country accent even though he doesn't speak with one and that bothered Harry.  He was likable enough but nothing all that special in terms of talent.  He did get to sing at Keith's concert in Minot, SD so this was not an entirely wasted exercise for him. 

I missed the audition of Aaron from the Iowa coffee houses.  I'm half sorry I did because I don't think we will see him on our TV again unless he is boarding the bus from the hangar.

The hunting fishing gal, Cindy Jo, (yes she has no last name because she is going to be a STAR and doesn't need one) is 26 years young.  JLo began planning her next video in her head at that point.  Harry was worried that all of the gun stuff was fake.  She shot a bear with a bow and arrow which is impressive but she murdered Crazy.  I don't know why they put her through because as much as I hate to agree with JLo, Cindy Jo won't be needing that stage name any time soon. 

The audience gets to guess whether Matt with the long hair and the bad voice goes through to Hollywood.  I guessed no.  I guessed wrong.  I'm beginning to think I'm crazy but please don't let Cindy Jo sing it again.

The Vegas guy, whose name I didn't catch, basically does the performance he never gets to do in Vegas because he is an understudy for the Jerry Lee Lewis character in a Vegas show called the Million Dollar Quartet.  He can play the piano.  He can imitate Jerry Lee Lewis.  That wasn't selling so he did another song and went through.  I thought his voice was sort of thin.

Hannah with an unpronounceable last name is a 16 year old belter.  If she makes it to the top 24 (and she might because she is 16, pretty, and belts) I'm pretty sure she will lose the last name.  This trend was started by Megan Joy, followed by Lauren Alaina (whatever happened to Lauren Alaina?) and followed up by Jena Irene (who as you recall, is dumping Irene and just going by Jena now that she has a platinum album--wait..she doesn't? )  

The final guy was Matt Andrew who seemed genuine enough.  He does have a distinctive "tone" to his voice.  JLo really liked it.  I liked him (but lose the stocking cap please) but not his tone that much.  

So...New Orleans is up next.  I love New Orleans.  If only they would just show Harry in a bar singing and playing with some local musicians for the whole episode and ditch the auditions, I would be happy.  

Blogger Down

I didn't watch the show tonight because I had a late appointment.  Spoiler alert:  I did some looking for some information on the top 24.  Bada Bing girl is one of them. At least I will have someone to mock while Mr. Auntee is mocking me.   

Character Study

Tonight the judges are once again in Kansas City to meet contestants culled from Idol's 11 city bus tour.  At least Idol producers have given up on the pretense that the judges see every single contestant audition.  

First up is the obligatory "big" R&B singer that we see every season.  *Big Ron* (or *Big Sexy*) is full of confidence and chest hair and sings entirely to JLo who eggs him on with her impersonation of a sweet and demure Jenny From the Block while Keith and Harry pretend to go out and get some KC barbecue.  Of course he sings *Let's Get it On* and of course he is voted through.  We were, thankfully, spared any more than a glimpse of his aversion to manscaping.

Big Sexy is followed by a theater actor named Ian who sings in falsetto...badly.  Despite demonstrating his range as Harry hits chords, he is rejected.  

We see a montage of contestants all with guitars who make it through.  Hard to say if they are fodder or not. 

Joey Cook takes the stage with her *squeeze box* and sings/talks a campy song about wanting to be called the King of Spain.  She has blue hair and is cute as a button and so so unique because whoever heard of a pop singer with blue hair?  I don't know if she is authentically *unique* or simply imitation *unique* but she may be the finalist we saw the first night from behind in the montage of 24 with multicolored hair.  Or not.  When even I wouldn't mind some purple streaks in my old grey hair it is hard to say  how many of these contestants have developed this *unique* style of haircoloring.  JLo establishes she is 23 which is a good thing because I think JLo's cut off age for giving a flying f-word about female contestants is 23 1/2.  But, she is a *character*. 

Alexis Gomez is a hippie looking country singer who I found rather boring and so did Keith but JLo liked her looks and so, evidently, did Harry as he wasn't that impressed with her voice.  She did have on one of those half skirts favored by Kardashians and Real Housewives cast members so maybe that was what appealed to Harry. 

Now, for my favorite of the night.  Anton from Parsons, Kansas who sang Keith's song *Tonight I'm Gonna Cry*.  I didn't cry but almost did.  He was outstanding.  I hope he can manage the meat grinder of Hollywood because I liked him a lot.  JLo calls him a character too.  I think he is who he is which is a guy from Parsons, Kansas who sings country music very very well. 

As if we haven't already had enough characters on this episode, we are introduced to Stephanie (last name inaudible) who is doing a Minnie Mouse impersonation.  No, she is actually going to sing an original song.  I wasn't moved to tears by the song but she had a nice enough voice and she wasn't all made up and tarty looking.  I think she is 18 so she may have a chance in the long run.

Ashley Stehle fulfills the obligatory sob story component of every audition episode.  Her parents are deaf but her father now has a device that enables him to hear her sing so both parents come into the audition room.  She sings an Alicia Keys song which I maybe would have recognized if she ever sang a note in tune but she did not.  She is only 15 so she can come back next year with a better song.  I can only think of one reason why she was on the episode since there was not a feel good ending and that is to let people know about this new hearing device which I guess is not a bad thing. 

Ellen Peterson played the banjo and it sounded pretty darn good to me.  I loved her yodeling.  

I missed all but the final moments of the final audition because of a phone call.  From what I gather, the contestant is homeless or a vagabond who sleeps in a tarp.  They put him through to Hollywood after much discussion about his image.  He was also a character in JLo's opinion.  I think he smelled too as the last thing I remember hearing about him from the judges was that he was *ripe*.  I don't think Harry meant *ripe* in a good way.

I haven't checked any of the spoiler websites to see who made the top 24.  I'm a little afraid to because I know I will already be disappointed about some.  

  

Its The Time of the Season

I didn't lie.  I said I probably wasn't going to blog anymore.  And I may not last the season.   But, despite the mocking from Mr. Auntee, I tuned in this week for auditions in Nashville and Kansas City.   

Ryan tells us they are going to reveal the top 24 right away.  Yeah right.   No, they just show us a group number with everyone in dark shadows.  There are men and there are women (although probably it is fair to say that at least 8 of the 12 women are under 18 so technically are not women).  One woman has funky colored hair.  I didn't take notes, so I've forgotten what song they sang.  They sounded good.  They were all auto-tuned, I'm sure.  

So, the auditions start in Keith's hometown and he shows up in a big ass pickup to pickup JLo and Harry.  JLo tries to act all down with it.  She is trying to act like she isn't a diva.  There is a reason this woman has not won an Oscar to date.  Will the live shows continue to feature JLo close ups for 75% of the contestant's performances so that you cannot even tell if you liked the performance or not? Time will tell.  

As I didn't take notes I can only say that the 3 hours of programming left me with the clear memory of only three:  The Blind Guy (I will learn his name and not call him that in the future if you are all worried about my sensitivity to the disabled).  He put a spin on his song (which I cannot remember) that I liked and he had confidence but was not cocky.  So, I hope he does well. 

The second one I remember is the blonde calling her self Lovey James (its a stage name--her real name is Kirsten which is too hard for people to say).  I think she must have sung an Ariana Grande song or something.  JLo was all excited because she is young and not jaded yet.  Well, if this doesn't work out, with that stage name and her dancing experience she can go straight to the local Bada Bing club  and we will see how fresh she is then.  I don't like her.  I don't like Ariana Grande either.

I have my favorite already.  Her name is Jess Lamb.  She played the piano--she really played she didn't just hit a few chords melodramatically ala Jena what ever her last name was  (oh, that is right--she didn't have a last name she had a stage name too--Jena Irene) who came in second place behind the Meat Loaf impersonator last year.  Jess is 28.  Which means JLo will trash her to death all season long assuming she makes it far enough. She sang "Ain't No Sunshine" and really slayed it.  I didn't even notice whether she changed up the gender in the lyrics.  I was mesmerized. Then she asked Harry to jam with her on the piano.  It was great. 

So, for now, I'm blogging.  Not sure how long I will keep it up.  We can be happy that Randy is not around this season to take up space and airtime.

      

The End of the Blog....Probably

 I'm 2/3 of the way into the show and disgusted by the judges trashing Jessica who is *performing* better than she has all season.  Unable to find anything wrong with her voice, recognizing her feeling, now they are pulling out the old chestnut *that was not the right song for you*.  Screw them.

In the meantime they are bucking of Caleb in anticipation of the backlash for his retard remarks and frothing over Alex and Jena.  

I'm in a really pissy mood tonight...cannot even think of something remotely funny to say.  

I'm going online to vote for Jessica for the last time.  I will not be watching tomorrow night.  

Caleb Johnson Not Happy with *Retards* On Twitter

Hmm...seems my instincts about Caleb were correct.  He gave an interview after the results show in which he referred to people sending him messages on social media as *retards* and stated he didn't appreciate all the song suggestions being sent his way since he can choose his own songs.  He has since apologized by claiming that he was referring to those people who send him hate messages on twitter...although that certainly wasn't what he was talking about in the interview.  Judge for yourself:  https://music.yahoo.com/blogs/reality-rocks/-american-idol--finalist-caleb-johnson-apologizes-for-slur-084719848.html

In addition, he talked about the hometown visit and the *hookers and cocaine* waiting for him there (which was arguably a joke but it sort of tells you where his head is at doesn't it?)

I have always thought he was entirely too full of himself. Sometimes my *irrational* dislike of these contestants proves to be justified.   

There is also much speculation whether Jena and Alex will suffer for voting no on Thursday night.  I doubt that they will as most fans were not happy with the *twist* and were happy that it didn't work.  

I'm thinking Caleb ought to be toast.    

Don't You Love It When a Plan Doesn't Come Together?

Tonight's elimination show was nearly as good as a huge dose of anti-depressants for me! Ryan announces a *shocking twist* involving the contestants.  I'm figuring its not the usual 2 go to one side 2 to another and JENA chooses which side is the safe side.  Harry rambles on about how proud he is of the top 5.  There is a brief recap with Randy commentary praising nearly everyone except Jessica (who needs *performance work*---what you are getting PAID to help them with Randass) although he does acknowledge that Sam had a rough start to one of his songs.   Keith Urban performs (or lip syncs poorly) his newest single.  Maybe he really played the guitar. Keith is not in my good graces due to his shameful pandering to the producer's (or JLo's) Jessica hate so I'm not going to cut him any slack at all.   A lot of time is wasted bantering. Only 6 or 7 minutes left including the 2 minute commercial break for suspense.  What could the *twist* be? 

Well...here is the twist!  The contestants get to vote on whether there will be no elimination tonight and they all can *stay together for one more week* (with 2 going home next week) or if they want the rules of the game to stay the same.  They are each given a ballot.  The vote has to be unanimous.  At the start of the commercial break it appears Caleb is lobbying for them all to stay together one more week.   At the commercial break it dawns on me that Jessica is probably safe this week!  And someone they want to keep in the show isn't safe.  But I figure it doesn't matter because none of them will have the nerve to buck the result that the producers so obviously want which is not to announce who got the fewest votes this week because it wasn't Jessica.  

Well, I have no idea who voted against the producer's plan because they announced the votes anonymously (for now).  Two of them did.  And my guess is that the two who did were NOT two who thought they got the least number of votes.  I was surprised they didn't buckle under but I'm pretty proud of them for seeing through the bullshit and just wanting the game to be played without changing the rules in the middle of it.   

Lo and behold, Sam got the least votes.  If the contestants had followed the script, the producers would have given him a double save!  Who thinks that they had this twist in mind before they counted the votes?  If you do, you can bake me a cake.  Chocolate with white icing please.

The time wasting during the show had the added benefit of not announcing who was in the bottom 2!  So, if it was Jessica, she was spared the humiliation and confidence sapping moment on the stools.  But I'm now wondering if it wasn't her at all.  Maybe it was Alex or Caleb or JENA. Another reason to have them all stay another week.

And now all I can do is HA HA HA HA!

Update:  Well that didn't take long.  The word is out from pretty reliable sources that the two who voted no were Alex and JENA.  Ok, I give them credit for bucking the system.  But all of this confirms my assessment of JENA's character as being not quite as sweet as she would like us to think she is.  I cannot help but hope she gets some backlash for it, even though it was the right thing to do. The word is that all of the contestants were ticked off at the stunt...and rightly so.          

Jason Mraz, Jessica Meuse and Alex...Throw the Others Back in the Swaybot Pit

Depending on what happens tomorrow night, this may be my last blog of the season...or the rest of time.  So, I'm going to rant a bit.  What?  You thought I had been ranting all season?  Wait for it.  

First, I want to credit my favorite blogger, Michael Slezak, who blogs on Idol and other TV shows on a site called TV Line.  I would link to it but I cannot make my copy and past function work which is not making me happy.  Suffice it to say, I pretty much agree with this guy all the time and he is hilarious.  He does a webcam chat with Melinda Doolittle every week which always makes me laugh out loud.  I purposely don't read his blog before writing this because I will be tempted to steal from him.  And in fact, I have stolen the next two thoughts from him but am doing so because I don't want you to have to read all of his blogs to find them and I'm nice that way! 

He agrees with me that Jessica Meuse is being unfairly critiqued for her performances.  It is not that he thinks she is flawless..he just believes she gets panned for things they ignore with the other contestants. And, that when they do praise her, they give themselves the credit.  Last week he commented that Sam should be the next to go but then, in a tag line on the webcam, there was a comment:  Who am I kidding...if they have to decapitate Grumpy Cat next week and say Jessica did it to get her off the air, they will (more on this in a moment).  

His next thought, and I have subliminally noticed this but not focused on it until tonight, is that the producers spend more time putting the camera on JLo during the performances (or the crowd) than they do the performers.  Tonight it was particularly bugging me.  What good does it do to tell the audience that the performers are not *connecting* when the people watching the show see JLo bouncing her hair around, giving soulful looks and  shaking her shoulders around to look with it for a good 50% of the performance?  Every now and then they put the camera on Keith, but usually as part of the JLo cam.  Melinda Doolittle believes that its in her contract to get so much camera time.  If so, shame on the producers for agreeing to it and shame on her for demanding it along with the 18 million dollars or so she is getting paid for this.  

Ok...now for the show.  Viewer's choice.  I think, for the most part the viewers did a good job of choosing songs for their favorites.  I'm going to go worst to best.

Sam  He performed after Jessica.  To make sure that Jessica got no mileage from her performance, Ryan asks Sam an audience question.  What is the hardest thing about the competition.  Well this give Sam the opportunity to talk about his dog (and for us to see a picture of it).  Ok, its not decapitating the cat but just in case Jessica might have swayed some voters with her performance, lets turn the sympathy votes on for Sweet Sam and his dog.  His idol (Ariadne someone who is hot right now) also appears handing him the mic.  And Sam sings a song that is supposed to be funky.  I don't even remember the name of it or anything it was about.  Suffice it to say, the only remotely funky thing about this performance was that Keith was desperately trying to make it seem funky by his shoulder swaying.  Rather than tell him it was blah, the judges say it was a *hard song*.   His next song, How To Save A Life, was marginally better.  Except that showing emotion by closing your eyes all the time isn't that effective.  Harry commented on the dynamics meaning variation in the volume.  Sam stays on medium all the time.   I'm over his cuteness.  Its time for him to go home.

Jena   I've been over her for awhile.  She is so friggin smug.  She thinks she is the best *performer* of the group and that it is going to take her far.  My notes on the performance of the song *My Body* are very short.  One word.  Puke.  She is so mannered and I'm not a fan of her little Jenaisms to the audience (*lets go*....so stupid...I always think it smacks of desperation when a performer has to gin up audience excitement with those catch phrases).    Her next performance, of the song Valerie, was just kind of weird to me.  The judges never talk about her connection or lack thereof with the audience. She never stands still long enough to connect and if she is connecting its with the camera showing her own reflection back at her on stage.  And she has already come up with her stage name...one name..Jena.  I hope the whole world calls her Jenna.  Harry was just fueling the self-satisfied monster when he asked her about that.  
Caleb  Yes, I know he got the pimp spot.  Yes, I know he had some good glory notes in his last performance.  But his first performance of I Don't Want to Miss a Thing was a train wreck and the judges were just too kind about it.  He starts off way off time and off key.  He gets the pitch back.  But this song became a dirge with him singing it. Yes, its oversung.  Yes, we are tired of it.  But yes, he sucked singing it.  The last song I really didn't listen to much except to hear the glory notes and see way too much of JLo and Keith rocking and standing while the camera ignored Caleb.  He pissed me off when he started holding the standing mic horizontally like some samurai sword before the first note was played.  Ugg.  He is also way too mannered in his performances.  But...after seeing JLo perform *I luh ya Pappi* I guess I see why the judges don't notice it.  

Alex  IF I continue to watch after Jessica goes home, it will be to see Alex.  He does irk me the way he grimaces. But his performance of Say Something (I call it The Sad Song) was exceptional.  Cannot say anything more about it.  His first song, Sweater Weather, was marginal.  Yes, he remembered the words.  Yes, it was hard to remember those words.  Was it memorable beyond that? Not for me.  

Jessica  She KILLED Human.  KILLED it.  You could almost see the wheels turning in the judges head as they tried to come up with some way to downplay how good she was.  JLo and Keith still want *more* from her.  Harry complimented her on listening to them.  Yes it was good but its because we made you this way.  She had a MOMENT folks.   I'm not a Lana Del Ray fan.  I had not heard the song Summer Sadness.  Having heard Lana Del Ray sing other songs, I have to think that Jessica outsang her.  She got rid of the guitar, she emoted, she moved around the stage.  Still not good enough though.  What does she have to do?  Fall to her knees in tears?  Maybe she could have swayed her arm like she had a glow stick and yelled *lets go*?  Hold the standing mic horizontally? Talk about dynamics.  She had them in both of her performances.  

I think tomorrow she will go home.  Because the producers want her to.   At least it will be on the heels of her best performances yet. 

Now I have to go vote for her!  







  

Do We Really Need Another Godzilla Movie?

No we do not.  Do I really need to watch Idol next week?  No, I do not.  Because we know what will happen.  Caleb and Jena will get judge and Randy love.  Sam will be coddled some more and Alex will be praised as the artiste no matter what he does.  And Jessica could give a Clarkson or Underwood worthy performance and be damned with faint praise, thereby assuring she is next to go.  I'm just happy she made it to the top 5 because she will earn a little more money on the tour.  And perhaps she can book better venues once the tour is over.  But she is not going to last in this milieu.  

Poor CJ.  I was sad to see him go but it was his time.  Sweet sweet man.

So next week it will be more Meat Loaf/ Jack Black impersonations from  Caleb.  More histrionics from Jena Irene.  More blushes from Sam and more foot tapping/leg spasms and mouth twisting from Alex.   

Jessica, just stand there and sing.  

And, note to Idol wannabees.  Women over 17 need not apply.  They will suck out your soul.  

Am I bitter?  Well yes, I am.  Will I get over it?  Well yes, I will.  

There is always the 62nd remake of Godzilla  to look forward to.

And please, quit torturing that poor cat!