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Thursday, February 3, 2011

Hot Nemesis

I truly do have 600 new, stressful things going on in my life right now. But my AI dedication is SO STRONG, that I can dedicate a few quick seconds to call out my Season 10 Nemesis. That's right, this soon. Even before Hollywood week.

***Disclaimer: You may remember 2 seasons ago when I was super pregnant, which often led to irrationally moody and harsh criticism of just about every. single. person. to appear on AI? For the next couple of weeks (or less, if I can help it) that pregnancy lunacy is back. So, I apologize in advance.***

Season 10 Nemesis: Hot Cowboy with Homophobic Father

"I've never left my ranch", "I love my Mama because she's a breast cancer survivor", "I'm the type of guy your parents want you to bring home", "shucks, aren't I sweet"

1st we meet the homophobic father who tells Ryan Seacrest "if you'd been my son, you wouldn't be the way you are".

What *way* is that? A bajillionaire? A super successful TV and radio host?

Oh, no, you meant "a man's man". Thank God you named your son John Wayne to guarantee he'd grow up to be manly. Because Heaven Forbid you'd have a son named John Wayne who liked to dress up in designer clothes, pay for expensive haircuts, and get spray tans.

(Why, yes, I am about to deliver a son. Anybody want to suggest some names that will make him sleep through the night immediately?)

I've been around the block enough times to pin-point this one from "meet my Homophobic dad, and my meek mother who doesn't speak out of turn, as I swagger into the room": Phony, Fake, Jerk

And, sure enough, I have some ammo:

www.tmz.com/2011/02/03/american-idol-cowboy-john-wayne-schulz-deception-record-label-cd-album/

He's hot though. Damn it.

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