Welcome
Thanks for reading our blog. We welcome comments. To comment, click on * (x) comments* following each post. A box will appear at the bottom of the post allowing you to share your opinions with us and the rest of our readers.
I cannot decide if Reed Grimm is quixotically talented or merely annoying. He certainly appeared ADHD tonight. Robbed of his chance to sing acapella (based on his earlier choices...would it be the Oscar Mayer Wiener song?) he manically put together a good performance of Georgia on My Mind while driving the vocal coach and the music guy insane with his total lack of focus during the supposedly 25 minutes he had to change course Calling his mama gave him inspiration to play drums (or they cut out the part where she asked him if he was taking his meds and his dose of ritalin) and he is going to Vegas. Randy, in a side bar to Jen, compared him to Casey. We will see.
But before the mama drama with Reid, we had to watch the painful results of the group collaborations. People were still vomiting and fainting.
First up was the Bettys and we all knew this was going to be bad. Staying up all night was not the key to success in this group as the 2 who went through were 2 of those who I believe went to bed. One blamed the lack of teamwork on them all being *Type A* personalities. One didn't know what that meant. I'm blaming it on them being type Diva Wanna-Bees. They didn't get the Diva part but one of more of them appeared to have the B part down pat.
Then we have Group Sauce which has Reed Grimm and Creighton. They do great.
Up next is Brielle and her mother (also known as Group 6-7-9). Mother gets her way and Kyle the frat boy is sent home. Mama loves Kyle now that her brat of a daughter made it through. I thought Brielle was terrible but its probably because I don't like her or her mother and you will hear this from me repeatedly.
Then *Patient O*, Amy the tent dweller and her sad sack group. Jacquie, who hugged Amy the night before gets sick. They are terrible and all go home.
Alisha the uber cop and her group are up next and they are terrible too. No surprise. Just curious, did any group sing *Joy to the World?*.
The Hollywood 5 is a group of young kids, their stage parents, and the OCD guy who works with infectious diseases and washes his hands all the time . OCD worked for this group as no one is sick and they all go through. (So there all of you who think I wash my hands too much...and you know who you are).
Then we are subjected to *will she or won't she* drama with Area 451. Imani is fainting away but goes on and faints on stage. One of them goes through but I don't know why.
Then, we learn that Simone Black and her father are not going to be famous this year and that Reese (who quit his good paying government job and a pregnant wife to come to Hollywood) are going home. Karma's a b.
The face off with HeJun (who will soon be known as Dante HeJun ala Lauren Suddeth Alaina) and Cowboy Richie. I thought the whole group was awful but evidently either HeJun or Richie has compromising pictures of Nygel Lithgoe because they all go through. Richie has to have more face time in the *confessional* to explain why he is so great and HeJun apologizes to him for what he said behind his back. Ho Hum.
Then we learn that Erika Van Pelt (who we haven't heard sing AT ALL since her audition I don't think), Adam Gokey Brock, Hallie Day, and Elise Testone (another one we haven't heard much of) make it through.
So..hour 2 starts and we see who the judge's really love.
First is Josh Ledet who almost didn't get on the plane. I like him so far.
Our next contestant is Colton Dixon, who pushed his sister aside along with the auditioning rules, and he does his WGWG (ok little piano) stuff. To remind you WGWG stands for *White Guy With Guitar* ala Lee DeWyze and Chris Allen and David Cook. His hair is changed but looks just as stupid as his old hair cut. What happened to his sister? She went home and is still trying to recover from the bruises he left on her back as he stomped his way over it to fame and fortune.
Another WGWG, Phil Phillips. The most exciting thing about him is his name and its lame.
Jenn Hirsch is the first we see sing *Georgia on My Mind*. She is really excellent but as mentioned earlier, needs a makeover badly if she is going on to the big time. She could be very attractive but evidently no one on Idol staff wants to spruce her up like they did with Colton.
Creighton comes on and I'm thinking he is probably going to be fodder.
Then, the girl I really don't like, Shannon Magrane who gave me a pain as she screamed Georgia On My Mind in her hot pants so Steven and Randy could be sure and see her long long legs. Diva Wanna Bee indeed who will be thronged by the Diva Drones as I gnash my teeth weekly.
Reed Grimm's drama, recited above and enough said about him.
Skylar Laine is sick but sings (I thought she was way sharp all the way through) and makes it through. It was a cute song but I didn't think it was *the best all day* like Steven did. But maybe he was sick of WGWG's and she was refreshing.
Poor Rochelle Lamb gets out of sync or thinks she does with the music and it is her kiss of death. She knows it too.
And then *White Chocolate* Danny Adam Brock. I thought he almost vomited the song with all his growling and caterwauling. I'm thinking Randy isn't all that impressed with the *big fat black woman* inside of Adam but he makes it through.
A little bit of drama in Room 3 when some woman we don't know complains that people are laughing and being *insensitive* to her pain. Honey, if you want *sensitive* go to a commune, bake bread, and plant weed. Don't try to make it in show business.
So tomorrow is Vegas and we will see who the top 24 are.
So far, I don't have any favorites really but I do have those I'm not fond of.
Update: In reading other blogs today, I realize that the Migraine sang *Its A Wonderful World* and maybe Adam Gokey Brock did too. I guess it all sounded like the same screaming melisma to me. When this was filmed Whitney Houston hadn't died yet but a whole bunch of these kids were channeling her ghost ahead of time and not very well either.
I was never a huge Whitney Houston fan. I appreciated her talent and enjoyed her in the movie The Preacher's Wife but her style of singing has never been my favorite. As anyone who has read this blog knows, Mariah and Celine leave me cold and their diva wanna bee imitators leave me colder. I will always love Dolly's version of *And I Will Always Love You* more than Whitney's version. But her death is sad for those people who knew her and loved her and for her fans. What a waste...she hooked up with Bobby Brown and was addicted to him as much as the drugs and she ruined her talent and what was left of her too short life. Her first album came out in 1985. She married Brown in 1992 the year the Bodyguard was released. She had seven years of career excellence and twenty years of decline.
That said, for the first time in a number of years, I watched the Grammy's tonight to see how they would handle honoring her and they did a good job with ONE HUGE notable exception. Diana Ross is a cold woman. Not only did she not mention Whitney she acted oblivious to her passing by saying *Aren't we all having FUNNN!*. I cannot remember but I hope she didn't get a standing ovation when she came out. I read that at Clive Davis' pre-Grammy party on Saturday night, she did the did the same thing... while all the other performers were offering condolences and kind words, she came out and sang her song without a mention of Whitney's loss.
Jennifer Hudson was amazing. She didn't try to sing it like Whitney but her performance paid homage to Whitney. I cannot believe she lost Idol...to whom? Was it Taylor Hicks?
I enjoyed the show altogether with the exception of Chris Brown, the dance music segment, and the very talentless Nicki Minaj. Nicki Minaj is trying to outdo Gaga who has tried to outdo Madonna. Her song was ridiculous, her red riding hood gown was ridiculous and her date, dressed like the Pope was ridiculous.
I had not heard any of the new songs sung tonight (except for the Idol performer's butchering Rolling in The Deep) and I was surprised how much I liked them...even Bruno Mars and the Foo Fighters. Other than Hudson, the highlight of the show for me was Alicia Keyes and Bonnie Raitt honoring Etta James. Glen Campbell was poignant. And Taylor Swift was good too.
Adele seems like a nice person. I'm happy for her well-deserved success.
But Diana Ross can go back to her hotel room and shrivel away. I've read she has always been a mean person and she has probably turned worse with age.
What a disgusting hour of TV. As if group week isn't bad enough, we're now also subjected to vomiting, kidney stones, vomiting into a clear trashbag, diarrhea, vomiting, vomiting, vomiting. ENOUGH already!
HeJun turns out to be kind of a prick. Yeah, cowboy was annoying and bossy, but rather than stand around and talk about him behind his back, how about you say, "stop being annoying and bossy." And learn his name, jerk, he's in your group. (What happened to the "everyone is better than me" attitude?)
Speaking of annoying and bossy - Simone's father is a douchecanoe of epic proportions. (1) He all but calls her fat on national TV, reassuring America that he won't let her eat, just drink, (2) He actually HARMS her chances of getting into a decent group because no hopefuls want a girl that comes with a side of Stage Dad, (3) he takes credit for his daughter's talent, assuring America that he's not a stage Dad, but *he* will be famous, (4) he does a group hug, with his daughter's group, but LEAVES OUT his daughter!! I want to drop kick this guy, and I can NOT watch an entire season of him as puppeteer.
The cop could not understand why she couldn't find a group. Um, maybe nobody wants to sing Joy To The World?! Maybe you should stop being such a bitch?!
I don't remember Brielle, even though she was in a group with Pia *gasp!*. I normally remember contestants who I hate, especially if they have a stage parent that I hate (Pukealetta anybody?), but even today I couldn't pick Brielle out of a lineup.
I hope that tomorrow either (1) we actually get to see some SINGING, or (2) the judges all get this flu, too (how funny would that be?)
I always get worked up about Group Night because there is usually bullying and injustice going on and it makes me sad for the victims. But tonight there was no Clint June Bug to push JayCee out of the group thereby igniting the wrath of fans everywhere. Instead it was all about staying alive!
Poor Amy the tent girl, who was called *Hipsy* in her auditions. She is a tough cookie and I think it was very unfair for Ryan to label her Ground Zero for the flu going around. I have no idea what the group she eventually joined will sound like tomorrow night (if they let us hear it) but at least people were nice to her even if they didn't appear to be the strongest group in the room. Although I really think it was unwise of the woman in the group to say...*don't get me sick* and then rush up and give Amy a big hug.
Brianna is very picky about the group she joins and rejects several because they don't have the right vocal range or want to sing a song she doesn't like. I think she is the Brianna who ends up in the Bettys who we will hear first tomorrow. All indications are the Bettys will be a train wreck as a group but I give her and her one fellow Betty credit for working well together to try to salvage it while the others went to bed. At least this group seems healthy.
Brielle, who was in Princess Pia's group last year, thinks she knows everything. She didn't know enough to make the top 24 last year so I think she should get off her high horse. Her mother is hovering around and seems a bit embarassed by her daughter's high-handedness but then she starts trashing the geeky frat boy who the judges thought had a great voice so whatever good feelings I had towards the mother...went away.
Alisha the cop cannot find a group to save her soul no matter how many loud and bossy public announcements she makes to recruit singers of *Joy To the Word*. Alisha lacks subtlety to say the least and I really don't blame some of those kids for steering away from her as she comes off as a supreme bossy boss and then keeps saying she's a cop which coupled with her loud bossy ways scares them to death. The group she finally was allowed to join also has train wreck written all over it with dominatrix Alisha who doesn't get to sing Joy To the World and cannot learn the other song, the two other mousy women, and the poor guy who keeps vomiting.
Then there is MIT with HeJun and Richie the cowboy Scottie wanna bee...I think Phillip Phillips the shucker is in that group too. (Was he the one with the kidney stones who had to take some time out to relieve some pressure on his bowels? That was really TMI.) The cowboy wants to go corny with the choreography and sophisticated with the harmony and Hejun just wants to stand there and flap his arms and sing *How am I supposed to Live Without You* for the third time. I forget what MIT is supposed to stand for but as I recall it was some sort of multi-cultural *we are the world* theme. I don't think Richie and HeJun, who are engaged in a massive war of cultures, are setting a very good example for the rest of the group. Hejun, who was rather likeable last night, loses likeability points but Richie is no charmer either. A pox on both their houses.
And finally, Simone, who truly was ground zero in the illness epidemic when she fainted off the stage last night(I thought she walked off of it accidentally). She was fine, just as I told you she would be, only dehydrated (Daddy was so busy drilling her vocals, he forgot to feed and water her). She was very smart when she came back and was obsequious to the group members while her daddy wanted to go all gang-busters to get her in a group. He claims he is just a supportive father and not a stage father but then he claims he is going to be famous so we know what his agenda is. And...she said she needed to eat more...and he say...no she needs to drink more water and I got to thinking she is not fat but she is not a size 0 either and I'm wondering if the guy is dogging her about her weight so now I don't dislike her so much...I just dislike the whole teen protegee/stage father package.
I'm kinda ticked they didn't do 2 two hour shows this week and get this Hollywood stuff over. I'm even more ticked that the American Idol website is *rebuilding* the fan comments section so I cannot go on and make trouble there.
Good news about Danny Gokey's friend Jamar. I hope he does well.
Obviously, you can see that KK and I are already forming different opinions of the contestants. I chalk her sympathy for Simone up to her being a good mama.
Stay healthy!
Poor little Simone Black wrapped up how we all felt about the whole night with one sweeping movement:
God love her. She seems so sweet and cute in her interview, and then they show her in a grey room, her father pacing back and forth and hovering over her while critiquing her voice. The judges ask her why she chose the song she chose (cough*stageDad*cough) and she wobbles and then faints, off the stage.
I'll comment on the people I remember -
The 12 17 year old black kid who gets his cheeks pinched hits on girls and thinks he's a ladies man, actually sounds like a lady when he sings. Puberty is going to screw this kid up in about a million ways.
The golden ticket guy (Reed Grim?) who "scats" his way through to the next round. Somehow.
I actually like the guy with the big black woman in side of him but his "spending time away from my baby girl" sob story won't take him very far.
Jessica who takes care of her boyfriend seems like a really nice girl, and she has a decent voice. I'm hoping that she doesn't go diva.
And for the rest of the night, I found myself asking, "Have we ever seen this person before?"
As a side note for those of you who preferred Danny Gokey's best friend to the actual Danny Gokey in Season 8:
Jamar Rogers has auditioned for The Voice, and is on Cee-lo's team!
He also had a pretty decent sob story (which was unfortunately over shadowed by Gokey's dead wife) that didn't get any play on Idol. 6 years ago he was addicted to meth, which left him HIV positive and living on the street.
And ya know, the kid can sing. So, during the evenings when you're not watching Idol, turn on The Voice and cheer for Jamar!
Finally, we get to Hollywood and so we can see how these sobbers, and strutters, and golly gee shuckers and diva wanna bees we met in the auditions measure up.
The format for the acapella song is supposed to be that the judges remain impassive until all 10 sing their songs and then they will announce who moves on. But, they cannot restrain themselves. Jennifer is *oh babying*; Randy is going *nice*; and Steven is in his trance face whenever they love somebody. So..I think its safe to say that by the time they do their final vote, everyone in the group of 10 knows deep down if they are going to make it or not to the next round but of course, the losers are in deep denial.
Forgive me if I inadvertently *spoil* the surprise for you with a couple of these contestants. You could have looked at the top 24 a few posts down as any normal person would have and then it wouldn't be a spoiler for you. I'm not going to pass up a couple of good remarks to baby those of you who are too pristine to cheat and see who is in and who is out.
Contestant number one is Johnny Keyser from St. Louis. He's not one bit nervous because Jennifer told him he was going to be a star when he auditioned in St. Louis and he's pretty sure he's got this covered and is already doing his confetti dance and dreaming of outselling Carrie Underwood. Heck, he probably already has his first grammy acceptance speech written. Well, Johnny, you made it through Round 1 but if you are going to be a star no one will know it from watching the rest of the season.
Our second contestant, He Ju is at the opposite end of the spectrum. He's amazed at the beauty and talent of the other contestants, is as nervous as a drunk in rehab, and appears to have DT's as well as he shakes it off. But he does Now, at this point, I'm thinking he will be slaughtered in the group rounds by evildoers. I'm thinking wrong.
We next quickly see a trio of good women singers. Elise Testone has a nice jazzy vibe, Baylie Brown (despite her name that is so sweetie cute you need insulin to recover) has some Carrie Underwood going for her; and Hallie Day who was my favorite in the auditions. She sang another song I like but I thought she put a little too much melisma on it so I hope she tones it down for future rounds.
Two more women audition...Jenn Hirsch who is has a sweet face but is determined to look as plain as possible, and Lauren Gray who won't stop singing she is so in love with her own self. I'm rooting for Lauren to fail.
Then a group of bad women singers all of whom seemed to beg for another chance to kill our eardrums and who were frankly, just pathetic to watch.
The next segment gives us Phil Phillips who *aw shucks* himself into the next round; Reed Grim, whose family is Wisconsin's answer to the Osmonds; and poor homeless Travis whose father is desperately ill and whose mother ran off with another man. Travis tries and he has some good tones but no fluidity and I just kept thinking: *you sound constipated*. I said at the time he got to Hollywood with more sob than talent and of course he goes home along with Ramiro, another sobber who has a home but no ears and a couple of who cares who they are people.
Adam Brock is a heavyset Danny Gokey look alike and sound alike except his wife is alive and so is his baby girl. He and the big black woman inside of him makes it through.
Jim Carrey's daughter Jane seems to be pretty sweet and unpretentious, but she is also unremarkable so home she goes. (She actually has real jobs like waitressing and isn't living on a trust fund so I don't hate her because her dad is famous).
I love David Leathers. I should be annoyed with him because he is a smart aleck ball of hutzpah but he cracks me up and he can sing.
Shannon Magrone is next. For some reason her entire family was in the room when she auditioned (oh yeah..her dad is some has been professional ball player who has a World Series ring but no one remembers his name). She is going to be giving me a migraine for the rest of the season I just know. The diva drones will latch on to her like they did with Siobahn and Pia from prior years and Shannon will pull some cutesy *oh I'm only 17 and so wholesome* crap and America will vote for her as I smolder away. When she gets a southern accent and starts singing country don't say I didn't tell you so!
Jessica Phillips, another sobber, actually sang pretty well so she is going through. I did get a little emotional when she made it through and I saw how happy her boyfriend was so I'm not totally without empathy.
Erika Van Pelt has a low alto voice and I sort of like her. Creighton and Aaron were sort of ho-hum to me but maybe I was getting tired. Lauren Mink, despite her name and beauty, really is a good person but I don't know if she sang well enough to make it through. The guy they call *Doity* because hes a germaphobe was rather appealing but maybe its because I wash my hands all the time too so I could relate.
And finally...Simone Black with a stage father that rivals David Archuletta's psycho dad, and a head as big as my butt. She's kibbitzing with the judges after nailing her song thinking *I'm the Greatest Star* and does a dumpster dive off the stage. Serves her cocky self right I'm thinking. Now, don't be getting all over me for being mean. I haven't read that anyone got seriously injured in all the blogs and trade news about Idol so I'm sure she is just fine.
Ok..tomorrow is the dreaded group night. I read there was some horrible vomiting flu going around so that should be fun to watch, no?
Since it took me awhile to figure it out myself today, I thought I would explain how it is done for those of you who may be as computer illiterate as I am. Under the post there is a line that says 0 comments. Click on that and you should be able to post a comment. I think you can use any name you want to use and that you don't have to be a *follower* of the blog to comment.
I am taking this opportunity to also test out my ability to upload photos. Yay it worked!
Finally the auditions are over. Although I understand they held another audition in New Jersey...and decided to dump the episode. Either the producers have finally caught on that no one likes the auditions, so lets get on with the show... or they ran into a bunch of Snookie wannabees and realized that the contestants were asking the viewers to go a bridge too far.
So...who do we have in St. Louis? To keep myself engaged in the show, I decided to rate each contestant on 2 meters with a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest): the Sob-o-meter and the Sing-o-meter. I wish I had thought of this sooner because I bet we could come up with a formula of sob to sing that would predict the vote before the judges even speak.
First up is John Keeser. He is the product of a broken home (his wicked mother abandoned him) and was raised by his father in Pompano Beach Florida. Jennifer says he will be a star, Steven swore (in a good way) and he is going to Hollywood.
Sob-o-meter: 1 (his mother is not dead, his dad has a boat, and they are not homeless)
Sing-o-meter: 7
Then the show reverts to a medley of bad talent from last year, this year, who knows what year just to keep those who watch the show to see people humiliated interested. Sob-o-meter for all: 1 because they cannot sing and no one told them so. Sing-o-meter for all: 0 because they cannot sing.
Our next serious contestant is Rochelle Lamb who brings her daughter Maddie into the room. She was a professional singer until she fell in love with a man who *held her down*. They are now divorcing and she gives a heartfelt rendition of a Faith Hill song about finding somebody new. She is very country in grammar and voice. Maddie grooves along with her as she trashes Maddie's father with the song choice and lyrics.
Sob-o-Meter: 3 (the contestant last night who was held down by her bad husband had 2 kids and Rochelle only has one. Plus Rochelle named her daughter Maddie and insulted her father in front of her.)
Sing-o-Meter: 6 (assuming you like that sort of thing...but Carrie Underwood is not losing any sleep tonight).
A side note: Both Rochelle and the Kellogg woman from last night may have stolen the *my bad old man kept me down* line from a contestant on X-factor.
Our next contestant who cannot sing Is Oliver MCrary and music is his *wife*. Sob-o-meter: 5 (except it is me sobbing as my eardrums rupture)
Sing-o-meter: -5
Our next hopeful is Reese Glockner and he is straight out of the first episode of Glee. He was bullied at school until he found the choir and made friends. His singing made Steven cry and I guess it was ok although I thought the voice was a little thin.
Sob-o-Meter: 4 (he is the first bully victim this season so I am being generous)
Sing-o-Meter: 7 (I'm taking Steven's word for it here)
Then Steven gives a pep talk to the remaining contestants and it is especially helpful for Ethan Jones. Steven can relate to Ethan's father who is presently in rehab. Ethan sings in a country band with his father. Ethan sings well.
Sob-o-Meter: 5 (Steven's sb-o-m went to 10 on this one)
Sing-o-Meter: 7
I took a break so missed Madonna's *hot new video*. Please don't let her be a guest mentor this season as I cannot stand her fake British accent. If she could get away with it, she would give herself a royal title (so she could call herself Lady Madonna) but only the Queen can grant those, and I think the Queen is probably resistant to Madonna's charm. Of course she could always snag herself some random old Duke.
Now I really felt for the next guy, the hotel auditor. I don't know if they dragged him in from the hallways or if he actually auditioned at the cattle call and was called back. For a minute I thought he would be some competition for our Gentle Giant Germaine but then he sang.
Sob-o-Meter: 0 (he has a good day job)
Sing-o-Meter: 0
And our FINAL contestant in the audition rounds for Season 11 (well except for the Snookies in NJ) is Lauren Gray. She loves her father a lot. They sing in a band together on weekends. She sang very loud and had a bit of a husky break in her voice.
Sob-o-Meter: 0 (her father is not in rehab and you don't get points for loving your dad)
Sing-o-Meter: 7
Hollywood week looks like its going to be interesting. I suspect we will find some people to love and some to hate.
I encourage readers to comment on all of our posts and I'm glad KK is finding some time to blog. Its much more fun for me when she does!
I loathe the audition shows. I'm having a hard time skimming through them on my DVR, let alone mustering up the strength to comment about them here.
They have, however, sparked a conversation that I find very interesting:
You have a child whose dream is to become a star, a musician, the next American Idol.
When they sing, however, it is painfully obvious that they will not, in fact, be any of those things.
Are you honest with that child? "Darling, you are so very talented at so many things, but singing is likely going to be an impossible dream for you to follow" - even though you know that you're crushing their only dream, and probably subjecting yourself to years of resentment and them to years of bashing you as a parent to their therapist.
Or do you drive that child to the American Idol audition, wear a shirt that says, "my kid is the next American Idol", insist that they are the next best thing? And then when they don't get a ticket to Hollywood, you say, "Darling, those judges are idiots" - even though you know deep inside that those judges are so very right yet your encouragement is dooming you to cheerleader status at multiple other (fruitless) auditions.
P.S. Don't you LOVE the new blog format? Well done, Auntee!
Ever industrious and doing the work that others won't do, your blogger has discovered who is in the top 24 via a spoiler. Here is the link: http://www.mjsbigblog.com/american-idol-11-top-24-spoilers-remaining-audition-cities.htm. Do not click on it unless you want to know what will happen in Hollywood ahead of time. Let me just say this: I may or may not watch the St. Louis auditions because no one from that show made the top 24.
On another note, I'm sure you have noticed the format change. Chalk it up to boredom. We have also added some links (under More Idol Gossip) which you might find interesting if you get bored too. Who knows, I may even add a photo or two if I get that piece figured out.
For some reason, Idol chose to go to Portland, Oregon. For some reason, the featured contestants are from places on the East coast and few are from Portland. My guess is that the Portland talent sucked so they imported some from other cities to fill in the show. Or, based on the theme of this weeks show, maybe everyone is happy in Portland so they looked for misery out of state.
I thought Idol had been a little shy on sob stories so far. It made up for it in this one episode which featured more filming of sob stories than singing.
First up in Brittany Zooka. She's wearing big glasses and a porkpie hat so she can let off that Zooey Deschanel vibe. She doesn't have a sob story but she had a dream she sang with Sarah somebody, went to Sarah's concert and made herself obnoxious enough that Sarah somebody brought her on stage and Brittney's dream came true. Zooey/Zooka can sing, however. She might be one to watch.
Second is Van Perdum. He is from Philadelphia. He has a very bad illness and is snotting around without a handkerchief and infecting the entire audition room. When he wasn't snotting he was burping. Then he sang some song badly. He felt bad because his illness prevented us from hearing his falsetto. I'm not one to wish illness on anyone but I'm just sayin' his bad fortune was our good fortune.
We've had some R&B singers so far this season and we've had some gospel singers this season but we HAVEN'T yet had the requisite big African-American gospel/R&B singer who loves his mama. We do now. His name isn't Mike, so we cannot call him Big Mike. His name is Germaine. JLo is already calling him the Gentle Giant...if he goes very far I will dub him Triple G for Gentle Giant Germaine. He has a weird voice. Partly deep and partly falsetto in odd spots. He sweats a lot...so I hope they can cure that before Hollywood because I cannot think of a soft G word that means sweating.
Another Britney comes in and ups the ante on the sob-o-meter over the usual single/divorced mother needing to make a good life for her kid because she has two kids. She stifled her dream for her husband's basketball career but he was a wanderer. No mention whether his career is successful or not and whether he pays child and spousal support out the yin-yang if he is. She sings *You're No Good* and with feeling. I don't think she was that good but she was really feeling the song and her sob-o-meter was acceptably high so they let her through.
The next contestant, Sam Gershman comes in after she has spent the day gyrating and dancing around the waiting room in her too tight pants and too tight leotard shirt which shows us she is very well-endowed. She sang *I am a Woman* just in case someone missed the obvious. The judges, thank goodness, resisted the urge to comment on her figure and sent her packing.
David Weed appears next. At least his name sounds like he might come from Portland. He is a nerd through and through. People have always told him he has a great voice. I don't know what he sang but it was awful. Its only about 7:40 and I'm ready for sleep. I wanted a drink about then. I didn't have one but just thinking about the show, I want one now.
Our next contestant, Romeo Dionne (??? can I have written that down right???) almost breaks the sob-o-meter. He is from Liberia, was exiled out of danger to a refugee camp in Ghana during the 1990 Liberian Civil war where stayed with some of his family until the early 2000's when he made it to America. If he had a better voice, he might have closed the show. He was ok. However, if he makes it through Hollywood he is going to have to keep reminding everyone about his past because he really was not that attractive in personality or appearance.
Some blonde named Naomi who didn't have a sob story (just a good voice) came on, sang a Steven Tyler song pretty well and she is going through.
A joke guy with a baby face came on and sang a Queen song and wasted a bunch of time.
And then finally....Jessica Phillips who is taking over the coveted Chris Medina/Danney Gokey role this season. Her boyfriend had a stroke and she is nursing him back to health. He can walk though, unlike Chris Medina's girlfriend and is still alive unlike Danny Gokey's wife. Plus..taking care of her man isn't the same as those selfless sensitive men taking care of and mourning their women while they pursue fame and fortune. Steven didn't even cry. Her voice was all over the place as she sang a song I didn't recognize about misfortune and fortune and rising above it all and staying the same rich or poor. The sob-o-meter got her through.
Ok, one more audition show to go. I am so relieved. The judges seemed bored and worn out to me tonight...and they are getting paid mega-bucks for watching. I'm not even getting a glass of wine here!
Well I didn't hear any sea winds blowing or sea waves crashing but I did hear a bunch of people whose singing crashed and blew. Maybe it was just me but it seemed like tonight they featured all the roadapples and none of the talent.
From Fong Vu who claimed to be born and raised in America but couldn't speak English (so much for public schools) to Alejandro the Revolutionary, it was a night of mostly dreck. Alejandro is fresh from occupying a parallel universe where Lady Gaga doesn't have platinum records and Barack Obama is not president. He wants a revolution so that Lady Gaga can be a big star and Obama can be president. I want to occupy his other universe.
There were only three people who I thought had any talent at all: Skylar the teen from Jackson, Mississippi who hunts deer and rides three-wheelers through the woods; Baylee Brown who is on her second try (she was teamed with some biotches from NJ during group night on her last try when she was just 16 and forgot the words); and the 28 year old almost divorced mother of three who spent the money she borrowed to hire a divorce lawyer to pay for her ticket to audition for Idol.
The judges disagreed over several female contestants...Steven and Randy rejected them and Jennifer supported them. Then Steven and Randy accepted a very poor singer and Jennifer almost lost it. I agree with Jennifer and don't know what was going on with Steven and Randy.
Two contestants with sob stories made it on the basis of the sob stories (in my opinion) as both had decent but not spectacular voices. Cortez Shaw was raised by a single mother and his family was homeless for two years. Ramil Garcia was born without ears..really. Surgery allowed them to construct an ear canal to an eardrum and he can hear, talk and sing (sort of) now. Both seemed like really nice guys but I cannot say they have an exceptional talent.
Cannot WAIT until the auditions are over!
I admit it. I am bored with these auditions. I am bored with the girls in love with Steven Tyler (even though I'm in love with him too in a platonic sense and I'm closer to his age). I'm bored with the backstories. I want the real deal to start.
All of that said, here is the rundown of what I managed to watch tonight. I hope all of you were watching something else.
First contestant is a cute enough blonde named Jenny Shick who has permission from her boyfriend to kiss Steven Tyler, Lady Gaga, and some other famous guy and it won't be considered cheating. She has eye makeup like Lady Gaga. She has sort of a horsey face like Gaga too. She sings Heartbreaker. It didn't sound all that great to me but the judges let her go through.
Second contestant, a semi-pro musician called Curtis Gray who has a sort of David Cook wanna be vibe. I thought his song choice was crappy and boring. Randy loved it. Randy was clearly affected by the altitude. He went through.
Then the three Amigos ...Richie who has a low voice like Scottie's voice and a plaid shirt too; Devan Jones who is a R&B guy and sounds the same as the rest of them, and some George Michaels look-alike called Mathenee. They all went through.
Our first loser of the show,Talena Ron, appears. Her twin sister, Stevie, is there for moral support. Stevie goes to a Performing Arts School and has taken the spotlight from Talena for their entire 18 years of life together. Sadly, as Talena sang we could see why she was always in Stevie's shadows and must always be content to be the wind beneath herwings. After her rejection, the sisters sang a duet and Stevie decided to sing as loud as she could to overpower poor Talena's pitiful voice. At least the judges didn't call in Stevie and let her audition like they did with the other brother/sister rivals the first night.
Haley Smith is an outdoor girl with a Crystal Bowersox vibe. She was good but I cannot get too excited about her until she makes it through the Hollywood hell week.
Shelby Smith is from Minnesota and has bi-polar disorder. She seems like a fine young woman but once again I was not that impressed with her voice. I'm jaded.
Angie Ziederman wants to be Gaga. She auditions first with a show tune which Randy almost threw up on. Then she sang Blue Bayou. She dresses sort of retro with big glasses and 40's hair. I think she has a lot of tricks but not much talent.
In between there were others I was too bored with to make notes about. It ended with the classic jokester guy who was about 40, called himself Magic Cyclops, spoke with an English accent and said he was born in Davenport, Iowa. He sang (badly) a Neil Diamond song and Margariaville. Randy said he had to go to the bathroom so would let the other two deal with Cyclops. Cyclops allowed as how he could use a bathroom too and farted a sparkler out of his butt. Yeah..that was really spontaneous. I wonder how many times they had to rehearse the sparkler fart before they got a good take.
So...what started off as Rocky Mountain high (the scenery shots were great) turned into Rocky Mountain low (or is that blow?). Anyway...I want the real show to start.
I'm pretty sure the judges gave some smart kid producer some holy hell...the one who had the idea to stage the auditions on an aircraft carrier docked off of San Diego. Lots of planes and boats going back and forth and making it hard for them to hear the contestants. It had to be tedious.
I will be shocked if we hear much more about any of the contestants featured tonight. I thought nearly all who went through were *been there done that* types with generic voices but nothing to knock your socks off. Since I waited over an hour through the boring football game AND overtime to see the show...I was hoping for more. Oh well...its auditions.
The first featured contestant came in a modified bikini and hung out in all the strategic places. She was well built and thought she was a shoe-in because her outfit would impress Randy and Steven and *I only need 2 votes*. She would like to work with animals or children if her singing career doesn't work out!!! God help the animals and children! She stunk up the carrier deck on not one, but two songs. Randy, bless his heart, said *if you are going to come dressed like that...you better have a voice*. Jennifer who was not impressed with her outfit said *it wouldn't matter if she wore a granny dress...her voice is not good*.
The second contestant was a pretty and sweet single mom who needs this to support her daughter. She is a generic diva and belted out *And I Will Always Love You* with some variation. If she makes it through Hollywood she will be the favorite of some of the Diva Lovers.
The third guy...who doesn't have a plan B...called Jerrod or Jareth Gibson is generic R & B . He made it through, generically.
Aubrey Deckmeyer is someone I could learn to loathe pretty easily. She is a pretty girl who couldn't remember whether she was auditioning for American Idol or America's Next Top Model. She had a generically sweet voice and did some fakey cutesy stuff. She strikes me as a generic biotch. Gag me.
Alli Shields (Plant #1) comes to the auditions via the Ellen show. She wrote a song about Ellen, appeared on her show, and did some guest spot work for Ellen's production. She did a rap song, did her version of a ghetto dance (butt out shaking), and then finally sang a real song. With a nasally voice which was generic Megan Joy. She seemed fun and had enormous confidence but not a lot of talent.
Next we meet Kyle Cruise, the college boy who is really proud that he is in a fraternity. He came dressed like one of the characters in Revenge of the Nerds and has a reputation as a ladies' man. They thought he was awesome. His voice was generically pop like maybe Michael Buble or Scott the Blind Guy?
In comes another plant, Jim Carrey's daughter Jane. She wants to make it on her own...and to her credit she mentioned she actually has one or two real jobs and she isn't living off of her dad's fortune or doing sex tapes which are conveniently leaked to the internet. She isn't even making a living showing up a nightclubs that pay her to come and press the flesh of the ordinary patrons (ala Paris Hilton and all the Kardashians). She doesn't have a reality show. But, she doesn't sing that well either. She is the generic auditioner who has a sweet but weak voice and is normally told to *come back next year*. Except she made it through...not, I think, on her own.
Finally, we have generic blue collar country singer guy, Jason *Wolf* Hamlin who is a mechanic in real life and has a dead father who made Wolf's guitar (before he died) . Wolf also acts like he's a bit crazy. I think he might end up on the cusp in Hollywood but be cut before the final 24 in typical Idol sob story style.
The judges gave away 53 golden tickets in San Diego and went on and on about how great the field was. I can only assume that they didn't feature the great ones...because this group was decidedly generic. Or maybe the planes and boats affected their ears to the point that they really didn't hear how weak this group was.
Due to technical difficulties with the local Fox station, I essentially missed the first 3 contestants tonight. I could see but not hear the first one...the Asian guy with glasses; could hear but not see the second guy (the Grimm brother); and missed the third entirely.
So, the show really started for me with Creighton from NYC. When he said he was going to sing his own song I cringed...normally those songs are rubbish. And his was rubbish but he sang it well. I liked his voice.
Eben, the 15 year old seems like a great young kid. I wonder if his voice will change during the season? But he is still a baby and doesn't interest me all that much.
I felt bad for the Coal Miner's son. I suspect those judges and the pre-judges have heard Hallelujah so much by now they are ready to throw right on up on it and anyone who sings it. I love the song but Lee DeWyze, Simon his pandering enabler, and Lee's chorus of angels ruined it for me. Crystal was robbed and that is all there is to it.
Another grown up enters the room. I liked Erika a lot and her alto voice. I suspect it will hurt her with the Diva lovers though since I don't envision her belting out *And I Will Always Love You* and *And I'm Not Going*. She may be a dark horse or she may fade away.
Travis is making his 2nd attempt to go to Hollywood and this time his sob story carries him through. Crappy about his mom leaving but I think he would have been leaving without a golden ticket if she had not abandoned the family. I think he better be studying for his GED because his voice is ordinary.
Another ordinary voice was the sister of the Planker. Whose name I did not write down. I would be surprised if we see much of her in the future but you never know.
And then...magic happened. Hallie Day. She has a sob story. She also has an amazing voice. I think of *I Will Survive* as a joke song (I really do think it would be fun to have it played at my funeral but I will be dead then so won't get to enjoy the joke). So..why did I suddenly find myself with tears in my eyes as she was singing? I wish they had shown her second song...if she did sing one. I hope she can stand up to the backbiters and divas in Hollywood because she is NOT ordinary by any means. I don't see her attracting the diva lovers though.
The diva lovers are those annoying women on the American Idol fan boards who always think that the one who sings the loudest and the highest and the most banal ballads is going to be the next Whitney Houston or Barbara Streisand. Last year, Pia was their favorite. According to them, Pia would be outselling JLo, Beyonce, and Susan Boyles by now and pushing Kim Kardashian off of tabloid covers and Pippa Middleton off of the fashion sheets...so beloved would she be. Instead, Pia broke up with her DWTS boyfriend and is just now getting someone to give her studio time to make an album. She might as well have moved to Minnesota with Kris Humphries and had babies because no one cares.
So, its early for me to have a favorite but right now its Hallie Day. She may flame out in Hollywood or prove to be a real biotch and kick Eben out of her Hollywood group so I will try to contain myself for now.
No..I have no baby love but the Idol producers are clearly enamored with the young ones after the McCreery/Alaina one two punch last season. When the oldest auditioner in the first 40 minutes is 17 you know its going to be a long long season. I don't find these under 18 contestants endearing or cute and in fact find some of them revolting. Caveat: I love the real babies in my life but they are not auditioning for American Idol...if they were I would cut their mothers from my will.
Thank goodness we were spared of too many loser auditions...you know when they show somebody saying *I'm going to be the next American Idol* they are going to stink up the house. I did get a bit of a kick out the the African Country singer wannabe but he had about twice as much airtime as was necessary.
Standouts for me tonight in one way or another:
David Leathers (Mr. Steal Your Girl). I think he will be prominently featured in the Hollywood segments. I'm not a fan of his falsetto but he seems like a decent enough kid even though at 17, he is practically a senior citizen in the group.
Shannon Mag...something. Her dad pitched for the Cardinals in a World Series but no one remembered him. She is very tall. I thought her voice was OK. Steven put his foot in it commenting on her hotness in front of her dad. Very uncomfortable moment. Equally uncomfortable was watching her mother mouth the words and perform behind her like a pageant mom on Toddlers and Tiaras. You could almost hear her mom thinking *SPARKLE baby!*
Amy from Tennesee who lives in a tent (Hipsy). I liked her a lot but I'm guessing she will be chewed up in Hollywood by some divas. Hopefully she will last long enough to make a few bucks and can get out of the tent. Steven liked her a lot because he is a big Nature Boy and loves the forests. I know this because I read his autobiography this summer. (Your blogger is hard at work to keep you readers fully informed of all things Idol...even in the off season).
Stephanie Renee. I'm guessing her surname is Crumplebutt or something like that and she is following Alaina's lead in dumping an unappealing name. I'm hoping she won't be Alaina/Suddeth redux. At least we didn't see a pageant mom in the backround.
Skylar/Colton. Poor Skylar. I really wanted to throttle the judges who fawned all over her brother and treated her like she was a turd in their punchbowl. I was not overly impressed with either one. But I get the feeling that Colton is the Kim Kardashian of the family and poor Skylar is the Khloe.
Lauren Mink. I was prepared to hate her for her blonde perfectness and her name alone. Then we found out she has a real job doing real good work and I was rooting for her to sing really well. I don't think she sang that well, but neither did Gwneth Paltrow when she sang the song in the movie of the same name.
Ashley *Joyhopper*. I think she is going to get real old real quick. I predict a major meltdown diva moment in Hollywood.
WT Thompson. The rocket scientist who quit his job at a federal prison with a wife who is six month pregnant. He should have been sent home without a ticket for stupidity and selfishness alone. And he really was pretty mediocre.
I really don't have anything to say about Brittany in the skin tight pants. I hope she disappears so I don't have to think of something to say about her in the future.
The judges loved Phillip Phillips so he will be a big feature in Hollywood. I thought he was OK. Maybe you had to be in the room to feel the *electricity*.
I cannot finish without commenting on the *Steven Tyler is a sex god* segment. Didn't that woman who called him her future ex-husband look just like Tonya Harding with black hair? Maybe it was Tonya! If I were Steven I would worry about her stalking him. All of those ladies must have missed this photo of Steven, taken on his vacation in Hawaii http://www.tmz.com/2012/01/02/steven-tyler-topless-maui/#.TwKNqfKwUV0 . Does a lifetime of drug-abuse cause man boobs?
Well, these audition shows are tedious. I hope there are some adults auditioning in Pittsburgh.
Welcome to the FOURTH year of our blog! As a reminder, Auntee posts in red and KK posts in blue. We will be happy to slog through the very boring audition episodes for you and let you know who to watch out for in Hollywood! And who to love and who to hate.
Those of you who have NOT known Scotty was going to win all season long have either (1) been living under a rock, or (2) been in serious denial. No surprises here, but also no strong feelings from this blogger either way.
As for the rest of the night:
Gladys Knight was breathtakingly gorgeous, and amazing to watch. They finally found somebody who could take the focus off of Jacob's "dancing", and up-stage him no matter how many obnoxious notes he tried to hit.
Judas Priest hobbled around, Rob Halford barely made it up the stairs, and James went bonkers all around him. James stole *that* show, even with the Village People ensemble.
Top 13 girls sang an awesome Beyonce montage, and then rocked out with Beyonce herself. (I personally enjoyed Naiema's dancing the best, of course.)
Haley sang with Tony Bennett, who looked old and frail, but twirlled Haley around without missing a beat. It was, of course, classic and just beautiful.
Casey and Jack Black growled at each other while 80's fly-girls shook their "fat bottoms" in the background. I'm still trying to decide if this was supposed to be funny, or serious.
I had every single TLC cassette tape growing up. Even without Lisa Left-eye Lopez, (and in spite of the obvious lip synching), they still rocked the stage.
I, too, danced along with Marc Anthony and found myself mezmerized with JLo's shaking booty.
Casey and James argued over whose elimination was more shocking, and Pia showed she actually might have a sense of humor in there somewhere by playing along with the boys.
Gaga was absolutely insane, as always. She threw herself off of a cliff, ladies and gentleman. Nigel couldn't top that in a million years.
Top 13 guys did a weird Tom Jones montage, and weird (orange) Tom Jones capped it off with more weirdness.
And Steven Tyler reminds all of America that no matter how insane his judging appears to be, he is a rock and roll God, and is incredible.
Then Scotty won.
He opted to hug his family instead of sing his stupid single. And if for no other reason than that, he deserves his Idol title. Congrats, young man.
Shame on me...I didn't watch either episode this week. Call it sour grapes, call it being in Nantucket world, or just call it that I really really dislike Lauren Alaina and could not stand to see her sing one more song even if it meant missing David Cook last night and probably some nice performances by the other losers tonight. Because...I hate to say it...I'm glad Lauren is a Loser! I've tried to like her...I really have...but I just think she is an ordinary singer and pretty full of herself and was coddled into the finale at the expense of about everyone else in the top 13, including Mandiva, Jacob.
So, I see on Drudge that Scotty won and a source is saying he got nearly twice as many votes as Lauren. Not a big surprise to me, as if Dial Idol is even remotely accurate he has been getting 50% or more votes than his nearest competitor all season. I see that Haley got 25 million votes last week...which left the other 70 million to split between Lauren and Scotty. I'm guessing Lauren got 25 million plus whatever she needed to beat Haley and Scotty got the rest of the final three votes.
It will be somewhat interesting to see what happens to both of these young people post Idol.
Reading KK's review, I'm really glad I didn't have to watch Steven creepily fawn over Lauren. That whole thing was just weird from the get go which probably accounts for some of my irrational (I admit it is TOTALLY irrational) aversion to Lauren.
Now its time for So You Think You Can Dance.
Thanks for reading us this season...hope to be back next year!
Best to Worst:
David Cook!! We'll never forget about you, because you're amazing. (And, as a child of the John Hughes generation, I wholeheartedly believe you can never go wrong with an 80's ballad-revamped.)
Lauren's Doctor!! Dressed up for the occassion in scrubs, and spoke in very technical terms "pulled a vocal chord". Fantastic performance!
Were there other performances? I must've slept through them.
Totally predictable. I could've written the entire show myself: Scotty deferrs on the coin flip, Lauren wears a Toddlers & Tiaras dress, Scotty dances through the audience and teen girls squeal, Lauren's stage parents get way too much camera time, Randy says "in it to win it", Steven Tyler creeply fawns all over Lauren.
Scotty's 1st two songs were "Gone" and "Check Yes Or No". He sang fine, did the obligatory eyebrow waggles, danced around a little, and the judges ate it up.
Lauren's 1st two songs were "Flat On The Floor" and "Maybe It Was Memphis". She sang fine (I couldn't hear anything different with her voice at all), did the obligatory booty shake, danced around a little, and the judges ate it up. (Especially Steven Tyler who finally admits he wants her to win because she's "pretty" - thanks for that, Steven.)
Now I actually liked the final songs for both Scotty and Lauren. I wouldn't download them off iTunes or anything, but they were decent.
Scotty's "Love You This Big" had lyrics all about being young and inexperienced. He wore a cute little suit. I like the slower side of Scotty - less cheese and more singing. He actually has a wonderful country voice. And he will absolutely have an amazing country career, win or lose.
Lauren's "Like My Mother Does" was the song that JLo thinks will launch her to the win. I'm a Mom. I also have a wonderful Mom who I hope to be like when I grow up because she's so amazing. So, I really should've choked up a bit watching Lauren serenade her mother (Mr. KK did. And he'll be pissed that I wrote that.) But I didn't choke up, even though it was a nice song and Lauren will do well with it as her 1st single.
(Side note: You may be disappointed to learn that the "best" song of the night was not actually an "original" song just for Lauren. It's been recycled over and over, and even recorded by the other mediocre, Jesus loving, patriotic, country teenager on AI: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FbYFJFoDoQ)
Who wins? I call it for Scotty. Mostly because he'll make more money for AI.
