Boys Night Out

First, I am not in favor of the format this year. One chance to make the top 10. Then the *wildcards* chosen by the judges (not sure how many...at least 2 I guess). Good people get thrown off too early this way and my guess is that Tim Halperin and Paul McDonald will not make the top 5 and that is a shame. The only good thing is I'm pretty sure Jordan Dorsey and Clint Dung are not going to make the top 5 either.

My critique in order of performance:

Clint was placed in the death spot and that is a good thing because hopefully voters will forget about him. I thought he was overshadowed by the band and by the chorus when it chimed in and I thought he was karaoke. I guess I know where he got his nickname June Bug becaue he hopped all over like one, but I did not find it endearing. Once again he talks about the artist he want to be. I have a Superstition American Idol is not going to be his ticket to fame. The judges liked him. I did not.

Jovany is a guy you really want to like. He sang pretty well but did not move me (sort of like Big Mike last year). Steven and Jennifer thought he was good, Randy not so much. He better count on his looks to get him through this week because his performance was not in the top 5 or even the top 7.

Jordan wants to be a legend. Lets face it...the judges were more than kind to all the contestants tonight but even they couldn't say anything nice about this train wreck of a performance. He had every possible range in the song and all ranges sounded bad. When he took off his jacket and spun around like he was some big sex symbol I almost threw up. He is not remotely sexy. When he realizes that a performance that he thought was marvelous was not received well by the judges, he quickly agrees that jumping around is not who he is as a legend. I think he thought he could outsing Usher and probably still thinks so.

I was so looking forward to Tim Halperin after hearing his very brief Beatles performance in Las Vegas. He too chooses a jumping around song which does nothing to showcase his voice and he is moving too much for cameras to get a close up of his cute face. I'm afraid he will be one of the victims of this format and go home too soon.

When Brett started Light My Fire, I thought he was in deep trouble, but he saved it and it was really quite good. The head shakes (14) were just distracting though. Not the worst performance of the night but not the best either.

James Durbin delivered. Big time. I'm not a fan of that type of music but even I knew it was something special and he kept the screaming to a minimum. He SHOULD be in the top 5.

Robbie Rosen (Anoop 2.0). Boring. He's gone.

Scotty (who I am secretly rooting for) did his country thing well and chose a patriotic song which did bring a small tear to my eye. He looked awfully relaxed on that stool just singing away.

Stefano Falsetto ALL the time...seems like a really nice kid but I'm sick of falsettos and was bored.

Paul MacDonald sang a classic and sang it well. I hope he makes it to the top 5 but I'm doubtful he did enough compared to the other good performances. I had high hopes for him and Tim coming off Las Vegas but tonight he was good but not awesome so I'm worried for him.

Jacob Lusk. Jennifer says Scotty makes a girl from the Bronx like Country. Jacob makes a girl from Kansas like R&B. No wonder Jordan didn't do a classic R&B song. The comparison with Jacob would have been devastating for Jordan.

Casey Abrams is just flat awesome. Yes, he sort of growls but in a good way and his song choice was unique as well as his delivery. I'm not worried about him. He is my early bet to win the whole thing.

Predictions for Top 5? Brett, James Durbin, Scotty, Jacob Lusk and Casey Abrams. Wild Card maybes? Paul McDonald, Tim Helperin and Stefano. Hopefully gone for good: Clint Dung and Jordan Dorsey. Robbie and Jovany maybe could have lasted a few weeks with the old format but I think they are going to be trampled in the voting tonight.

My favorite performance of the night? Surprsingly, given the music, James Durbin.

Interchangeable Dime A Dozen Diva Wanna Bees and Two Kids Were Robbed

First, note the new title, courtesy of Mr. Auntee. As Monica and I were watching Idol tonight and he was making one of his many trips to the john (he's getting old you know), he asked: *Is that more American Idolness?*. I like it so I stole it.

Now, MRS. Auntee is not entirely upset about the top 24. I will predict right now the winner will be a guy because all of the women with the possible exceptions of Haley Reinhardt and Rachel Zevita are Interchangeable Dime A Dozen Diva Wanna Bees (DAD for short). I don't think the audience is going to be able to tell the difference between Karen Rodgriguez, Julie Zorilla, Lauren Turner and Pia Toscano. I would add in Thia Megea to the group but she is Asian so maybe America will be able to tell her apart from the other DADs. Then there are the blondes, Kendra and Lauren A. I'm going out on a limb here and think Kendra will be voted off right away. Not because she isn't as good as the other DADs or maybe even better but because she is *old* (at 23 or so) and she has some smarts and looks like she doesn't take any guff. Consequently, I plan to vote for her unless she just really stinks on Wednesday night. Rachel Zevita is unique only in that she is not quite a DAD but more of a MCWB (Mariah Carey Wanna Be). I don't like Mariah Carey and while I have nothing against Rachel personally, she doesn't move me. Two contestants I want to see voted off right away (but probably will make it to the top 10) are Lauren A and Thia Megea. I don't like Lauren's sexing it up at age 15 with Steven Tyler and Thia is a plant from America's Got Talent and seems very full of herself. I may be wrong and Thia may be the sweetest little thing in the world but I just have a visceral (although irrational) dislike for her that dates from her audition. So...of the women I'm rooting for Haley at the moment.

Now for the men. Complete waste of spots for Clint Jun Dung and Jordan Dorsey. Clint is just a jerk and should be punished for what he did to Jaycee. He has no soul and I cannot fathom I will ever get goose bumps from hearing him (and not just because he is gay...I occasionally got goosebumps from Adam Lambert). Jordon the *music teacher* Dorsey who refused to let people into one group because *it just wasn't going to work* and then jumped ship to another group is another souless performer. He falls into the category of Interchangeable R&B Singer (IRS)...which is admittedly a code word for a black guy who sings high notes. Fortunately, Jacob Lusk is competing for the R&B slot and will blow Jordan away. Clint and Jordan robbed sweet Jaycee and Colton of their rightful place (and probably some others as well who were not featured).

Other than Clint and Jordan, I like all of the men finalists more or less. Robby Rosen reminds me of Anoop and I don't think he is going to last long. James Durbin is NOT Adam Lambert. Javony (sp) wasn't featured much but he might hang on as he is definitely a hunk. I'm going to predict that Scott, Casey Abrams*, Jacob Lusk and Tim Halperin make it to the final 6. The other two slots are up for grabs.

No one is going to make me vote for them more than a few times at this point.

As for the show itself, we can see the more expert hand of Nygel Lythgoe. We were not too sidetracked by people going nowhere and I liked the way they interwove the final song with the contestants.

*TMZ is reporting that Casey Abrams was hospitalized with stomach pains Wednesday and that as the Tuesday show tapes tomorrow, he may be out. I hope he is not but if he is, pray that they don't bring back Chris Medina..

Boo, Hoo, and Who?

Boo! Jun Dung aka Moonman (Mr. Auntee calls everyone with those round glasses *Moonman* and I don't really know why) aka Jun Bug or is that Jun Smug is in the final 24. He is so happy to be able to show America the *kind of artist I wanna be*. America has already seen what kind of an a-hole you are Dung, and I hope it does not forget. Kudo's to Randy for reminding the viewing audience that he was the jerk who kicked sweet faced Jaycee out of the group in Hollywood week. I don't think America will forget that and if he draws a large segment of voters I will be surprised. He is not cute enough for the tweens, the frauen like me hate him for beating up on Jaycee, and the twenty-thirty somethings will find a heterosexual hearthrob among the final 12 men to latch on to. At least I sincerely hope so. I want him soundely rejected by all decent Americans. He has *worked so many years in music*. Hardly dude...it was a friggin Karaoke bar.

Hoo: Jennifer Lopez has what appears to be a genuine breakdown when she has to tell Chris Medina goodbye. This was a true shocker as I didn't think the show could waste that back story and that he was a shoe-in for the final 24. But he really didn't sing very well. To his credit, he took it like a man and I have a little bit of respect for him for that...or as much as I can have for a guy who traded on his girlfriend's brain injury to get on a talent show.

Who? After saying the entire show we were going to find out who the final 24 are we really only learn about the fate of 6 or 7. Of those who were announced tonight, I cannot say I am unhappy. I liked Paul McDonald, the soft voiced singer but he probably won't stand a chance. Naimeh seems like a nice down to earth person. Ashton fills the Whitney/Marish/Jennifer Hudson slot and I am hoping she fares better than the contestants chosen to fill that slot for the past 3 or 4 years. Haley Reihnhardt intriques me. I like her unusual jazzy voice although when she first auditioned I don't think I thought much of her. She may overdo it though.

I KNOW who the top 24 are but I won't spoil it for you If you want to know you can go to votefortheworst.com or other sites to find out (will need to go to 2nd page of VFTW for the list). I will give KK a boost though. John Wayne is not in the top 24.

Besides Clint there are two girls who I would have liked to see NOT there and a few of both sexes I would like to hear more from.

Blessedly, the Obama girl is going back to the White House where she will presumably be able to offer tips on golf and basketball to our President while Libya explodes.

As for the overall production tonight, I wish we had seen more music and less walking down the runway of fate. I did like that they showed a clip of the contestants' final song before we heard the verdict but I don't see that they will have time to fit that in tomorrow.

And, FINALLY, the producers realized that Beatles songs are meant to be sung in a group and not solo (with the exception of Yesterday). I really enjoyed even the groups the judges thought were not so great (well except for crybaby Ashley...and we could have done without seeing her stupid wedding).

And finally again..I do not miss Simon in the least. I am loving these judges.

Karma Postscript

I have since learned that Clint Jun Dung has a last name and it is Gamboa. Remember that name so you can cheer when he is voted off or sent packing, whichever comes first. He will always be Dung to me.

Also, I forgot to mention the *ewww* factor performance, which featured Lauren, Steven's 17 year old protegee, putting him on a chair so she can do a sexy dance around him along with the lemmings in her group. I have come to LOVE Steven Tyler but this was very uncomfortable. Set some boundaries Steven. I may be a prude but there is just something really unsettling about a 17 year old sexing it up for an over 50 guy. I wish they all had gone home. I do not like Lauren one little bit. Her *great idea* was not so great for the other girls in her group and I hope they realize they were used for her own personal drama of *see how much Steven LOVES MEEEEE*. She is approaching Tatiana Del Toro stature here.

Karma

The worst part of Hollywood Week is over. I always dread the stress of this episode as it usually involves some innocent getting jerked around by one or more of their group members and being cut (IMO) too soon. In prior years, it seemed the judges didn't even want to know about the antics that caused some groups to tank before they even got started. Well...NOT THIS YEAR!

Jaycee Badeaux.is fast becoming someone I am rooting for. I don't even know whether he sings that well. I just like the way he handled the humiliation of being thrown out of his group by Clint Jun (last name not remembered but lets just call him Clint Jun Dung). Clint, an Elton John wannabe with his glasses, took charge of his group. He grudgingly allowed Scotty in (who no one wanted probably because he doesn't look very cool and he also has that baritone country voice that no one knew how to deal with) and then dumps Jaycee saying something about him not being able to hold a note. At least one girl in the group and Scotty look upset by this cruelty but they don't fight back against Clint Jun Dung and let Jaycee walk away. His mother, bless her heart, does not allow Jaycee to blubber and tells him to make the best of it. So, he finds a group that NEEDS him and even though he has never heard the song they take him in with open arms. Poignantly, this group includes Carrot Top, Brett Lowenstern, who has known his share of random senseless cruelty and even though Jaycee doesn't know the words in the performance, the judges know he has been screwed and send him and the whole nice group through. Jaycee doesn't even whine to the judges and acts like *oh it was no big deal* but the judges are NOT happy and by the time Clint Jun Dung and his group come on, they are welcomed about as warmly as a pile of fresh dung. Scotty shows remorse. Clint really does not and acts like it was all an *artistic* choice. Who are you kidding Dung? You just didn't want the fat kid in the group because he wasn't cool enough for you. Sadly, Dung goes through. The good thing about all this is that all of America was watching Dung act like dung and I don't think he is going to be a fan favorite if he manages to make it to the point where America votes.

The Minors is a group of kids whose mothers coach them through the choreography and singing and they do a nice job. One group is miffed that the stage mothers are giving the Minors an advantage. They should have kept to their own business because when they perform they stink except for the kid with the Faux Hawk, Jason.

Grizzly Adams, Cawy Abrams sings with an acapella group. They needed the music. Casey makes it through even though most of the rest of the group does not. Chris Medina's group is mediocre, but he makes it through. Evidently, his girlfriend's mother is also jumping on the fame bandwagon and has started a blog about her daughter's reaction to seeing herself on TV...she beat her head against the wall in anger. So, while Chris and her mother may want to flaunt her condition for fame, it appears that Julieanna wants no part of this spectacle.

My little friend Emily Ann is cut..we don't know why.

Then there is Three's Company. For some reason the sad sack guy cannot leave the two harpies he is tied to (one is his ex-girlfriend and he is still very bitter about the breakup) and then pouts and acts like a tool through the whole evening. *I don't wanna dance* *I cannot learn the song*. Go to another group jerk. He is cut. The girls are not, even though I thought they were not much better than he was in the performance.

Ashly cannot stop crying for anything. She almost quits and I wish she would have. Miraculously, after her prima donna antics and diva breakdown, her group welcomes her back and they do just fine.

And finally...my favorite part of tonights episode. Tiffani Rios, who still has not bathed, cannot find a group that wants her even though she goes up and belts out her fabulousness at every one of them. Tiffani honey, even an attractive girl would have a hard time winning friends after your display of arrogance in your solo audition (*I have been watching everyone fail at what I know I can do*). You are not attractive. And you really only yell not sing. Some poor dumb blonde feels sorry for her and leaves a perfectly good group to join Tiffani. They cannot find a third. JLo senses disaster and a disaster it is but Tiffani is not to be dismissed lightly. She argues. Good riddance! Still, poor dumb blonde may have suffered unjustly. Nope..she suffered because she was dumb enough to join up with a big loser.

Tomorrow we get the solos again, this time with instruments if people use them. Will have to tape it because I will be out of town visiting KK.

Every Body Comes to Hollywood!

Season 10! Thanks Randy for correcting me. Double the contestants and double the talent! Well...double the contestants anyway. Out of the 327 most talented singers in America, we glimpsed about 30 tonight. The rest of the ones who survived the first two days evidently did not appeal to the producers or they didn't have a sad story. So, of the ones we saw, here is my brief assessment (basically I rated them on a *love them, hate them, or who cares* criteria.

IF in fact, Brett Lowenstern, aka Carrot Top, age 16 was the very first contestant to sing in Hollywood, then the Producers are diabolical. Take a kid who has been bullied his whole life, throw him into a pressure cooker where EVERYONE is listening to him and then make him the first to perform. Nice! Unfortunately for bullies everywhere, Brett came through with a rather nice rendition of Let It Be. I marginally care but not a whole lot.

Brett is followed by Rachel Zevita and Thea Medea or the duelling divas. You say Zediva, I say Mediva and I wish they would call the whole thing off. I HATE them both.

Casey the one who looks like a grizzly bear makes it through. I love him. He doesn't sing standard songs, he is sort of jazzy (hard for a big red-headed white man to be) and seems confident but not full of himself.

Then, out comes little Miss Muffet, Victoria Huggins, the self-proclaimed American Idol 2011. I hate her before she starts singing and am thrilled when she sounds like a cat in heat. So she has to pack her eleven suitcases (boy was she ready for the long haul in Hollywood) and go home to be the self-proclaimed North Carolina Idol. Sorry honey...but North Carolina doesn't want you back.

Victoria is followed by James Durbin with the faux hawk (HATE it..get him a stylist NOW), autisim and Tourette's syndrome (I would like to stop mentioning the last two facts but Idol won't stop so why should I?). If anyone should have crumpled under the pressure this kid should have. He does NOT! And while he is a heterosexual Adam Lambert imitator and thus not that unusual (except for the Tourettes and the autisim), I'm sort of loving him.

A Celine Dion wannabe named Paris sings *My Heart will go on*. Who cares?

Someone named Stormy didn't make it through. Who cares?

Steven Tyler's prodigy Lauren makes it through. I don't care, and I don't understand why Steven does as she is virtually indistinguishable from any other moderately talented woman I've ever seen on this show.

Ah...Danny Gokey's prodigy, Chris Medina is up next. Not only does he growly sing like Danny, he surpasses him in the *use your dead wife to get ahead* race. Except Julie is not dead and is not Chris's wife. He is pretty much leaving her in the dust to pursue his dream and won't look back unless he has to. But we should admire him for it because ...she inspires him. I hate him and thought he sounded awful and I think the judges did too but couldn't bear to cut him right away.

We see a series of contestants who cannot handle the pressure. Bye!

Then a trio of Jacee Badeaux, Robbie Rosen, and Holly Cavanaugh. You cannot really hate a 15 year old fat kid like Jacee and he does have a sweet pure voice but he is not the next Justin Bieber even IF they send him to fat camp (as a fat person I understand the limitations). Robbie Rosen is in the who cares category and Holly Cavanaugh seemed to impress Randy but I thought she was off-key. I don't think she is the next Carrie Underwood and once again...I don't care.

Steve Bagoon the CPA didn't make it. I'm not sure it was because of his voice. I think he just didn't look like a *star* to them but like a boring CPA so they said Be Gone.

Then the love stories. First Rob and Chelsea who are ex-lovers but auditioned together and made it through this round together. Who cares? Then the really embarassing thing when the two lovers, Nick and Jacklin, sing. Neither was that good but for some reason they just ditched Nick (Jacklin will be coming along shortly Nick..don't worry). Nick begs and pleads for one more chance and sings himself out of the auditorium and you just know Jacklin was thinking *you butthead...you are embarassing me and they will think I'm a butthead just like you..so give it up already!*. Prognosis for their relationship? It ends at LAX.

Scotty, the OTHER 17 year old from North Carolina sings. Jennifer is in love and so am I. John Wayne whats his name does not stand a chance in the country role next to this guy.

Jackee somebody who I obviously don't care about because I cannot even remember what she looks like.

Jerome Bell. Hated his audition I and hated it again tonight.

Finally, the Jersey Shore arrives. Poor Travis. Just not that good and his sob story didn't carry him through.

Then..the Snookie wannabe who put stars on her boobs when she auditioned and comes out and announces that no one knows how to sing but her. I hated her *Snookie* ways in New Jersey and I hate her even more now. This girl does not even look CLEAN! Take a bath lady! Jennifer was not impressed but evidently the men were still looking at her boobs as she made it through. I hope she fails.

At the very end we learn that the Obama girl made it through (boo) and that Emily Ann the girl with the funny voice did too. Good for Emily Ann. Hopefully Obama girl will go soon.

Of course, by this time next week, when the finalists are announced, most if not all of the above will be a dim memory.

I Left My Fart In San Francisco

Sorry, I could NOT resist that title after the show opened with a weeping blonde who evidently farted in her audition and brought it to a speedy end. I wish they had shown her audition instead of that dufus in the car costume. I have often said about my least favorite contestants that they might as well have farted the song but this young lady evidently did! Newbomb Turk from the Hollywood Knights would be so proud!

But alas, she quickly went out of frame along with the pooping pigeons and we were introduced to Inessa from the Ukraine who presented herself as the most talented person in the universe. Inessa has to rank among the top 10 obnoxious candidates of all time. If she had actually been able to sing, I may have thrown up. Inessa the Messa. Look for her videos on YouTube, MySpace, or Facebook. She is evidently multi-talented and probably advertises on Craig's List as well...or did they shut down the hooker services on Craig's List?

There were about 8 candidates tonight that we saw only briefly. I barely remember them three hours after the show is over and I certainly won't remember them unless they do something remarkable in Hollywood.

At least 20 minutes had passed without a sob story, but Idol came through. The accident victim, Stefano, did a good Marvin Gaye imitation in Grapevine. One of the few I've seen audition who can actually sing that song on key.

The Karaoke guy surprised me because I thought he would be a joke audition. I thought he was kind of sweet but I don't recall much about his voice. Sadly, he has no sob story other than working in a Karaoke bar for three years so he will probably flame out in Hollywood.

Then the car guy rolled around the stage and didn't know the words to Born to Run. A complete waste of time unless he thought he was auditioning for some kiddie show. My grand nephew would have liked him. My sassy pants grand niece would have run far away from his crazy ass.

Next up, sob story 2, the girl from Columbia in the sparkly shoes and petticoat skirt. I actually liked her outfit. And her father. Her singing I thought was ho-hum.

Then, in order to make Steven Tyler (who we all know wouldn't hurt a fly) look mean, they showed him staring blankly at some joke contestants. Although I think Dave the Rocker really did kind of tick him off because Steven had high hopes for him and he stunk up the house (figuratively, unlike our title contestant).

Sob story 3...Emily Ann whose house burned down. I liked her voice. Sort of Billie Holliday old time record voice...but...she looks like she won't be able to handle pressure too well and this will probably be the last we see of her.

And finally...the sob story that just may be as compelling as the guy with the brain-damaged girlfriend...the autistic guy with Tourette's. You had to love this guy but you also had to hate his hair. WHY???? WHY??? is that rooster head hair all the rage? I hope he can handle Hollywood.

KK missed the show tonight as she was involved in her own not so little production of a son who weighed 8 lbs, 15 oz, was 21 inches long and looks like he's ready for some sort of defensive position on one of next year's superbowl teams. I hope she is resting because heaven knows she needs it. Come to think of it, I think that kid was born while AI was airing!

Tomorrow....Hollywood. I am already tense because I know there will be some villian who will trample on the competition and unjustly get ahead.

Cowboys and Misfits

SO glad KK is back with her subtle take on AI Season 12. I missed the Nashville auditions because I thought AI broadcasted at 8 pm last Thursday and perhaps I missed the best of the audition shows as this week's talent was very sparse.

I didn't take notes when I watched last night and truly could only remember 3 contestants today. The infamous John Wayne Cowboy, the Cowboy with the sister, and the girl from Liverpool who puddled when she realized she screwed up *At Last*. Then they showed a clip of the last contestant last night. The curly haired guy who scatted. I don't remember his name but I would like to see more of him.

Clearly, AI producers flew into LA every joke contestant they came across in every city thus far. I'm not even going to comment on them except for Taneesha who has spent time with artistes (ar tist tuhs).

They only showed 4 people going through. Tim with the crush on JLo, The brothers who sang the duet (and it was good but they have to sing alone in Hollywood); and the MySpace queen Karen Rodriguez who wants to be the first Latina idol (she left me cold);

Thank the heavens that there is only one more audition night to sit through next week and then to Hollywood. I don't know how many people got a golden ticket but I'm guessing 300-400. I don't have a favorite yet, but like KK I have a nemesis and that is the Self-Important Blonde who works for Obama.

The blogging sites say that they have not yet decided the top 20 (or are in the process of doing so right now). Unlike previous years, the contestants went back home from Hollywood not knowing if they made it or not and were to come back in February for the final cut. The only one I am confident will be there is Chris Medina as how could they let that story go to waste? Also...it appears that Thea Madea (Magea) is a ringer which explains why the producers sent her to Milwaukee to audition. She probably didn't stand in line to see Danny Gokey and perhaps didn't even have to pay her own way there...so sadly we will be seeing a lot of her I expect.

I solemnly VOW not to get so crazy about a contestant this year as I was about Crystal Bowersox last year. First, all that obsessive voting took up way to much of my time. Second, it made me far to nice to be an effectively snarky blogger as I was *Crystalized* into sweetness and light.

And, we are all praying that KK's male child will sleep!

Hot Nemesis

I truly do have 600 new, stressful things going on in my life right now. But my AI dedication is SO STRONG, that I can dedicate a few quick seconds to call out my Season 10 Nemesis. That's right, this soon. Even before Hollywood week.

***Disclaimer: You may remember 2 seasons ago when I was super pregnant, which often led to irrationally moody and harsh criticism of just about every. single. person. to appear on AI? For the next couple of weeks (or less, if I can help it) that pregnancy lunacy is back. So, I apologize in advance.***

Season 10 Nemesis: Hot Cowboy with Homophobic Father

"I've never left my ranch", "I love my Mama because she's a breast cancer survivor", "I'm the type of guy your parents want you to bring home", "shucks, aren't I sweet"

1st we meet the homophobic father who tells Ryan Seacrest "if you'd been my son, you wouldn't be the way you are".

What *way* is that? A bajillionaire? A super successful TV and radio host?

Oh, no, you meant "a man's man". Thank God you named your son John Wayne to guarantee he'd grow up to be manly. Because Heaven Forbid you'd have a son named John Wayne who liked to dress up in designer clothes, pay for expensive haircuts, and get spray tans.

(Why, yes, I am about to deliver a son. Anybody want to suggest some names that will make him sleep through the night immediately?)

I've been around the block enough times to pin-point this one from "meet my Homophobic dad, and my meek mother who doesn't speak out of turn, as I swagger into the room": Phony, Fake, Jerk

And, sure enough, I have some ammo:

www.tmz.com/2011/02/03/american-idol-cowboy-john-wayne-schulz-deception-record-label-cd-album/

He's hot though. Damn it.

O.M G(okey) its Milwaukee

Yes, Danny Gokey is alive and well and in Milwaukee to give moral support to the hopefuls in his hometown. His appearance was blessedly brief.

The show tonight was all over the place..I had a hard time settling on unifying theme and finally gave up. Let us just call it Toddlers and Tiaras, Diamonds in the Rough, Angry Losers, WTH?, Sob Story of the Year and One Very Self-Important Blond.

Toddlers and Tiaras: For anyone who watches this show about children's beauty pageants you know that the judges (who have no apparent credentials to be judging anything) are always looking for the *total package* in the pageant contestants. When JLo mentioned they are searching for the *total package* in an AI contestant I wanted to scream! I don't want a package of anything. I want someone creative and talented and I don't care if they don't have a hair weave and cannot afford to buy the latest clothes. But the theme did not stop there. Ryan's Justin Bieber idolatry has justified opening the contest to 15 year olds who all want this more than anything in the whole world and whose lives will be utterly destroyed if they are not the next American Idol. As a result, they sent through all the 15 year olds who auditioned. We saw two..both of whom were not memorable. Emma from Littleton who WILL be destroyed in Hollywood (and credit JLo for recognizing this fact and saying no) and Thea Magea who does not have the impulse control to wait a few weeks to audition in her own town of LA but has to spend her parents money to fly to Milwaukee because she is just so impatient to prove her talent to the world. Both of these girls could probably get the supporting role in their high school musical and if they had parents with half a brain that is what they would be aiming for now. Are these parents really so much different than the clueless parents who trot out their 2 years olds in $1000 dresses, spray tans, fake nails, hair and teeth so they can win some plastic trophy in a Holiday Inn Ballroom in Little Rock?

Diamonds in the Rough: The 16 year old Scotty with a voice like Randy Travis and Southern manners to boot (I'm not sure he will survive Hollywood but I really enjoyed him); the accountant, Steve Bagoon, who I expected to be a joke contestant but who had a surprisingly sweet voice; and the skinny Gokey look alike who had lipstick transference who JLo pronounced as her *favorite so far* (I would not go that far but I would like to see more of him).

Angry Losers: Well Vernika was the intro candidate for scenes of deplorable behavior by those who have obviously been taught more self-esteem than anything else in life. I am partially tone-deaf with a voice damaged by years of smoking and I really think I could sing that song as well as she did. Evidently, she overheard that JLo was looking for the total package because she decided they didn't like her because she was too fat. Did Randy actually say JLo wasn't thin? Because while I recognize JLo has curves...she is thin! The rest were just badly behaved people no one would want to know in real life.

WTH?: Jerome Bell seems like a really nice guy but I do NOT know why they put him through. I thought he had no subtlety to his voice and Mr. Auntee heard him 2 rooms away and asked me if someone was passing a kidney stone.

Sob Story of the Season: No one is going to match Chris Medina's story...maybe its the sob story of the entire American Idol franchise and you can add So You Think You Can Dance as well. Top 20 guaranteed unless he forgets his words in every Hollywood performance. His voice was above average but not out of this world. Still, I have to admit that cynical Auntee did get tears in her eyes as the story unfolded. Even more sadly, I suspect his devotion to his fiancee will be eclipsed by whatever limelight he enjoys as an AI contender.

One Very Self-Important Blond: She went to Harvard! She works in the White House! She loves Obama! She can carry a tune! I don't like her! If Randy hadn't already smacked her in the mouth, I would have reached into the screen and done it for him.

The only person I could not fit into any of the above themes was Taiwan. I liked him but he is not anything different at this point. I had to wonder about the family dynamics though....just as he is enjoying his moment of glory with his golden ticket...someone in his entourage gets a Charley Horse and demands all the attention. I'm thinking this is the one in the family who makes everything all about her no matter what (every family has one even if you have to go back a generation or 2). So...I sort of have a soft spot for Taiwan although I suspect he is fodder.

At the moment, I am the only blogger. This is because KK is extremely busy right now. Knowing what she is busy with I can only say that she has about 600 more important things to do than comment on AI right now.

And..do I miss Simon? I don't really think so.

Good Times Rolling

I love New Orleans. Seeing the footage made me want to return (I have only been there once). And drink some chicory coffee and have a beignet at Cafe du Monde and listen to some Dixieland Jazz.

To begin...some housekeeping issues. This is the third season of this blog which started after KK and Auntee had reviewed each episode of AI on our family website for a couple of years. Auntee came late to Idolatry (discovering the show the season of Sanjaya). KK has been a fan for much longer. Auntee's posts are in red. Kk's are in another color. Auntee wishes she were young in the big band era or at least when the Rat Pack reigned but has fond memories of the music in her psuedo hippie years of the late sixties and seventies. She stopped listening to top 40 music in about 1984. Which was when KK started listening to it. So...we bring two different musical perspectives to the blog. Probably where the different perspectives end because we are after all genetically bound. We are at times very uncivil but only when contestants truly deserve our scorn because of attitude, delusional beliefs of their own superiority or just plain unlikability. Judges, being public figures, are treated harshly when necessary. Lets just say our straight talk makes it unlikely that either of us is or was ever likely to win a Miss Congeniality award. We don't suffer fools or phonies gladly. Kumbaya is not in our nature. So you have been warned.

That said, I am going to say that I am feeling very positive about this season of AI...a shock to me. I'm thinking that losing Simon was a very good thing. As KK pointed out in her last post of last season...everything had become all about Simon. How bored he was, how the show could not survive without him, how Ellen hated him blah blah de blah Simon. It was no longer about the contestants. While I appreciate a dose of honesty when a contestant stinks as much as or more than the next person...Simon seemed to look for an opportunity to be Simon. Even Lee DeWyze was all about Simon.

The dynamics of this new group are different. They seem actually eager to focus on the contestants and make someone's dream come true. Steven Tyler is growing better looking by the minute to me as he is really rooting for these kids. If JLo isn't actually a pretty nice person, she deserves an Oscar for acting like one. And of course, there is Randy who is FINALLY saying a little bit more than yo dawg.

So..did we see the next AI tonight? Probaby not. We did see:

Jordan Dorsey who you had to love because he teaches kids and loves it. Although Jordan, you need to read Amy Chua the Tiger Mother. Those Chinese kids have to practice not just 5 times between lessons but no less than 5 hours per day. I think I will like him if he doesn't overdo the melisma and *changing it up* too much.

Sarah Sellers who I had to love because she has glasses like mine. Clear voice and a hard song to sing it seemed to me.

Govany who had to take his shirt off (thanks trashy Kara...men taking their shirts off is the only legacy you left to AI). At least Tyler and Randy made a joke of it. The song was in Spanish and since I didn't know what it was about it was hard for me to judge his talent. JLo liked it so I will defer to her assessment. (Big of me...I know).

When Jac*line the coach's niece came on with pictures of Randy, I sensed a disaster in the making. I liked her voice. I don't know if she is good enough to stand out among all the other belters she will encounter in Hollywood, but at least she is getting a chance to try.

Brett the Red Apple. Sob Story #1 of the night. He has been bullied. I'm not sure its a good idea for victims of bullying to be singing songs about putting bullets in people's heads. Something tells me he wasn't THAT bullied. He seems to love making himself different. Thats fine. I don't know about him. I'm not loving him right now.

I have to mention one of the bad contestants...Gabriel Franks. He was so pleased with himself you just knew it was going to be a big fail. Lady GaGa? At least he knew he was a joke contestant...or I hope so as the choice of song would make anyone's audition into a joke. (I loathe Lady GaGa).

As for Alex Itardo...I think if you have a child who wants to go to Idol Camp, you can probably save your money.

JC Badeau (I love his name which reminds me of Badass) could be a big favorite. If his voice doesn't change. He is 15 and it hasn't yet...its bound to do something soon. I'm all in favor of big-boned people with talent succeeding.

And, finally our 2nd sob story of the night (actually a low sob story count tonight..especially from New Orleans which the media has made the epicenter of sob stories) Paris Tisane. She may be the country contender. Would be nice to see a truly talented country singer as opposed to Kristy Lee Cook.

So...I think I'm going to stick with this for another week at least.

The New Era!

Drama...drama..more drama and the judges are introduced to a screaming crowd that appeared to be larger than the 125,000 who supposedly auditioned for this season. I was skeptical of this trio but grateful that it didnt inclue Kara DioGuardi. It took me 10 minutes to get over Steven Tyler's lips. Are they real or are they silicone? How many facelifts has he had? He looks like a reject for the Real Housewives series! (I know what my NJ niece meant when she said she cannot stand to look at him). By mid show, however, I got used to his odd visage (in view of the new call for *civility* I won't say ugly or deformed). And, to cut to the chase on my view of the new judges...I liked them. Tyler was a bit spacy, JLo was kind but serious about her job, and Randy came off as the wise old guy (but I always have had a soft spot for Randy). Tyler could do away with flirting with the girls who are younger than his daughters..that was a bit blechh.

I hate the audition shows. I don't want to see the horrible singers who have been duped into thinking they have talent. And I think some of the best are not featured in these audition shows but are just seen as one of those who *made it*. I cannot believe they sent 51 people to Hollywood. At this rate will it be like 350 in Hollywood week?

Now for those who were featured (most of whom we will not hear about ever again).

Rachel who auditioned in Season 6: I never want to hear Hallelujah again unless its sung by Leonard Cohen or kd lang. I thought she did not sing *beautiful* (as Tyler would say). Considering it does not take a great voice to sing that song well, I don't have high hopes for her prospects.

Caleb Holly with the high voice: I think he is fodder but he may surprise us.

Kensey Palmer the *first 15 year old*: Tyler was right...she had a decent voice but her eyes were dead. I think if she goes very far I will soon learn to dislike her intensely
.
Ashil from the Ivory Coast: Now this was sad. She is paying someone to coach her vocally...someone who is robbing her of her hard earned money. She needs an intervention and her coach should be exposed as a fraud.

Jersey Girl Tiffany: I already dislike her intensely. Her ugly dirty hair, her ugly clothes (the stars on the boobs were just sad) and her very loud and off key voice. I don't know why the judges sent her through. She hurt my ears.

Sob story #1 Robbie in Wheelchair as 5 year old. Too much melisma in his version of Yesterday for me, but not bad. Suspected fodder.

Ashley the crazy girl who mentioned Brittany Spears: I liked her but Hollywood will eat her up.

Victoria the 16 year old Southern Belle: I will either love her or hate her as the season goes on.

Sob Story #2 the girl from Kosovo: Ok I guess. I was pleasantly surprised by Tyler's comments about her being genuine and that he appreciated her for that.

The Singing Waitress: I liked her but I doubt she will make it past Hollywood

Sob Story #3 the girl with the dad with throat cancer: She will not make it past day 2 of Hollywood.

Sob Story #4 the guy from the Bronx who was homeless: Ditto

If the next American Idol was discovered in New Jersey, I don't think we saw him or her tonight.

But..overall it kept my interest. Please, please, Nigel Lythgoe, ban the singing of Hallelujah forever on American Idol.

Ms. Jackson ...

If you're nasty.

I could write this ENTIRE post about Ms. Jackson. How fierce she looked, how amazing she is, how much I love her ... but I understand that's not what the AI finale was about (obviously, it was about Simon). So, I'll contain myself.

I called it wrong! In spite of obviously superior performances, America made it clear that they prefer HOT over HIPPY. Too bad.

The silver lining is that Crystal's goal of giving her son a better life than she had WILL be achieved. There is NO doubt that she'll go on and have a very successful music career even as the AI "loser" (ala Daughtry).

Lee was gracious, grateful, and wonderful in his final performance of Beautiful Day. It was hard not to love him the minute he started crying before the results were even read. Truthfully, he needs this top spot more than Crystal does, and I'm hopeful for his career as well.

The FUN of the night:

Alice Cooper?!? Alice Cooper! Sounded amazing for a 105 year old man who has been drugged out for at least 89% of his life, and still looks great in pleather.

Siobhan and Eyebrows' How Deep Is Your Love was fantastic until Barry Gibb joined them. Maybe the plastic surgeon pulled his face too tight for him to sing on key anymore.

BM and Michael McDonald were weird. McDonald mentioned "Mike Lynch" twice, did BM even introduce who he was standing in front of ... I mean, singing with?

Dane Cook's Simon "Song" was only funny when he decided that bringing a bunch of no-talent fame-whores back would be a good idea, only to have it backfire (shock!), requiring an uncomfortable cut to break.

I was initially mad at Christina Aguilera for not actually singing with the AI girls (Diva), but I got over it, because she really is amazing. (I'm not over how dominatrix outfits are appropriate for a family show.)

The guys' (wearing jeans, by the way) Hall & Oates medley was cheezy. Andrew still can't sing, and I let Tim out of my pocket for this performance only.

Crystal got to sing with Alanis Morissette because she’s one of her idols. Lee got to sing with Chicago because, well, he’s from Chicago. And possibly lost a bet.

Carrie Underwood’s new single, “Undo It,” is co-written by Kara. Hee-Haw.

Bret Michaels is alive and well.

Pants on the Ground was inexplicably mesmerizing.

Joe Cocker is indebted to Crystal for saving his ass while Lee just stood there.

Simon Cowell is leaving AI. Paula is still drunk and incoherent.

Oh, and Janet Frickin' Jackson was there!

Thanks followers for a fun year! See you again for Season 10!

Anti-Climax

I was fully prepared for *shock* victory tonighte of Lee DeWyze. America cannot resist a shy young paint salesman who has no confidence overcoming all odds and making his dream come true...not when he is up against an unwed mother with a chin piercing and a big tattoo. Forget that he had to be released from a recording contract to get on Idol. Forget he's made 2 CDs already and forget he is already the voice in a baby food commercial. He is really just a paint saleman who played guitar in his bedroom at night and dreamed big.

What I was not prepared for was arriving in Nantucket and finding that in the process of reshingling one side of our house, our caretaker completely disconnected our satellite dish, shingled over the hole in the side of the house where the wire comes in and then failed to drill a new hole and reconnect it. So, I could not watch the show. And now, I'm not sure if I want to. IF we had a ladder and IF we had a drill (heck, I would have used an ice pick at that point but didn't have a ladder) we maybe could have reconnected it. The caretaker better be here tomorrow to rectify this.

So, I had to accept it for what it is.

Clearly Crystal outperformed Lee last night but I'm thinking a lot of Casey fans switched to Lee and that she could not overcome the god and mama performance of last week. I only got in about 20 votes total before I just gave up in despair as the Dial Idol #'s were so bad for her.

I would like to say something really positive about Lee and I'm sure someday I will but right now...pffft!!

Still, Crystal gets a car and she gets and album and maybe she gets more creative control than she would have been if she was the winner so all is not bad. Plus...I have a place I can go to watch the show repeated on the internet tonight if i want to...but I'm not sure that I will. I need to check out what Crystal's performances were tonight.

So...until next year Idol junkies! Thanks to all of you who have been reading our blog thi season! We really appreciate it!

Now...on to So You Think You Can Dance!

Oh...an explanation of who CM is and how he almost got jumped in New Bedford. CM is Mr. Aunt Tee. He was at a convenience store in a shady part of New Bedford trying to buy beer and wine (it was the sort of store where the beer was Colt 45 and the Wine was Boones Farm) when he came out to the car to find 2 tough looking women circling it looking ready to pounce! He got so nervous he set off the car alarm himself!

And the Aunt Tee's along with Maxine and Monica arrived safely today after a 4 day journey from Kansas to Nantucket. M and M are happy to be roaming free again and except for no TV, the house was in good shape thanks to the Cleaning Fairies and the exterminator. Mr. Aunt Tee is bushed from the drive and the loading and unloading and the trip to the Finast today (where we forgot half of what we need due to the crowd and chaos there).

But...as Scarlett says...tomorrow is another day!

Taking back her title ...

It's undeniable: Crystal has reasserted her season-long status of the woman to beat, and last night she stomped down any last-minute surges from Lee.

I'm calling it now: Crystal is the next American Idol!!!

And how grateful are we that they weren't both forced to climb on the Train to Cheezyville and sing some random song written by a group of teenagers, or Kara, or the YouTube video with the most votes! I don't know how their "singles" were picked, but thank you, AI, for sparing us the crap.

Lee -

The Boxer was better the 1st time he did it. I hate to sound anything like Kara, but I really didn't think that he had any emotion behind tonight's performance. It's still been downloaded at my house, though, because it IS fantastic.

Everybody Hurts was a staple song for me during the highlight of my teen-angst years, and I cringed initially, because it's a total downer of a song. But not, apparently, when Lee sings it. He changed REM's depressing arrangement and made it, dare I say, upbeat! Were people actually clapping along? To Everybody Hurts? Now THAT'S something.

Beautiful Day was just too big for Lee. I actually liked Lee's accoustic version better than U2's version, but it's like trying to sing Aerosmith - you're always just going to be compared to Steven Tyler. And Lee, you're no Bono (even though you did put a leather jacket over a hoodie).

Crystal -

Me and Bobby McGee reminds us, for the 16,000th time that Crystal is a hippy. Got 'cha. But how do you not love it? Even if you don't have dreads, you have to admit that the word-less chorus encourages everybody to get stoned and sing along. And that's just fun.

It was a little hard for me to focus on the singing part of Black Velvet because I was genuinely concerned that Crystal would take a huge tumble and the tiny black velvet dress and ridiculous heels would end up in the air. I think a girl should win every year ONLY because they not only have to sing, but they have to do it impossible outfits.

And I'll just say it - BEST song of the SEASON - Up To The Mountain. That, ladies and gentleman, is how you close a show. And why Crystal Bowersox deserves to win this whole competition.

Ah Well...

First, I am in a hellhole Days Inn in New Bedford Massachusetts. Second, I cannot plug in my computer so am hurrying to finish this on battery power. Third, I have only been able to get in 5 votes for Crystal as opposed to my usual 200 plus because evidently it depends on which part of the country you live in whether the circuits are busy or not And finally, Dial Idol has given it to Lee and they are never wrong. On a positive note, our car was not stolen when CM went to the convenience store in this neigborhood although it was close.

Now for the performances. Crystal was the best. I have no idea where those final songs came from. I have never heard them before. Lee was all over the map in his, but she did all she could do and the judges praised her for it and if the pink cell phones win well...so be it.

I'm sure there will be all sorts of conspiracy theories as to why Lee won instead of Crystal (I'm working on one involving the crappy east coast phone circuits, myself), but in the end one has to win and one has to lose and she had a great run, will get a contract, can make her music and thats a good thing. A year ago she didnt know where her next meal would come from and was begging for insulin outside of pharmacies so her life is immeasurably better today.

Lee probably won't be selling paint any time soon. Good for him, hes a sweet nice man. I thought his best song was his first tonight. The middle one hurt my ears and the last one was just incoherent to me. But I am not impartial at this point.

Ok...we should have s ome good music tomorrow. Hope the weather holds up.

Win - Win!!

It's official ... no matter how next week's finale goes, it's a WIN! Without question, Crystal and Lee have deserved these spots for weeks now. And the right 2 are in the top 2! Well done, America!

Casey's goodbye did stir up a few tears (I won't say from who), and I believe he's genuinely a nice guy. It's been a long time since I've watched the top 3 without a nemesis. And even though I believe that he's not as good as Lee and Crystal, and the producers clearly threw him under the bus, my hope is that he'll have a good career - as a model, if not a singer.

I read Perez Hilton's blog on occassion, but I didn't realize he was in the business of "discovering" musical talent. I'd never heard of Travis Garland and hope I never hear from him again. Perez should stick to drawing penises on celebrities.

And the only thing I like about Justin Bieber is ONE of his Saturday Night Live skits with Tiny Fey.

I'm just grateful they crammed all of the teeney-bopper crap into one show instead of spreading it out over the entire season.

I can't wait for next week's finale! I think the night will be filled with great music, and no matter what, I love the winner!

It Better Not Be Raining on Nantucket Next Wednesday

Or, I will miss the finale due to interference with the satellite feed. And I really want to see all of the idols do their special numbers.

And, of course, I am thrilled that Crystal is in the finale, gets a record deal for sure, and a new car no matter if she does lose to Lee next week. Who, by the way, is starting to remind me of Danny Gokey without a dead wife the way he doesn't shut up. Although Crystal was more vocal tonight that usual, which tells me she does want to win this.

I have no idea what they will sing next week except some really bad song penned by Kara as the coronation song. Then there is the producer's choice and then I think the contestants can sing a song they already sang this season (more Hallelujah coming our way) or can choose another song. I'm not sure what I want Crystal to sing. People Get Ready is the logical choice. Not sure she can recreate the magic (maybe they can add some smoke).

I watched the first 30 seconds of Perez Hilton's new find...Travis/Todd/Tyler whatever. Bored me to death. I watched the first 2 seconds of Justin Bieber. Justin, Fantasia wants her wig back. I suppose the kid can sing...but does he have to?

Like Crystal, I also have a crush on Casey James. Any guy that lets his mama sing for the crowd on his hometown visit and cries when she cries has to be a good guy. And, in case you doubt he was thrown under the bus last night, even the production crew had it in for him. Evidently, his amp was not on stage for his first song and so he ended up sticking the cord in his back pocket at the last minute. I thought his guitar solo was not very loud and lack of amplification explains it. The crew was probably busy testing out the smoke machine and wondering if it was too late to attached wires to Lee so they could lift him up to the heavens during his final note.

Sarcasm aside, these are the two who should be in the finale.

Oh, that little girl Casey picked up during his swan song was not just some random kid from the audience. According to his fans, she is his cousin's daughter.

And, some consolation for Crystal fans after the Lee DeWyze show. Crystal won the coin toss. She will be singing second next week.

I'm seriously praying for a cell phone outage on pink cell phones next week.

A solution?

This post is courtesty of a guest blogger who has been a loyal follower and desperately attempting to comment all season (plus, he agrees with me AND he happens to be my father) -

I'm a big Leonard Cohen fan. If Lee had sung the song the way Cohen sings it ... it would have been piss poor. Lee did the song with his own style and won the night. I thing Hallelujah is about God. MA thinks the song is about sex. My second favorite song is "Everybody knows". If you've never heard it ... find it on you tube!!

Lee and Crystal are both outstanding. They both have unique styles. Since AI fixes everything ... why can't they make it a tie???

L

Leelelujah!

Welcome to "Make sure Casey doesn't have a chance to ruin our plans for a Crystal/Lee finale" night on AI. Let's begin ...

For the 1st time in the history of this blog, Aunt Tee and KK are going to completely disagree when it comes down to the final two. Maybe it's because I'm not jaded by reading Lee's rabid fans' idiotic comments the AI message boards. (You know I love you, Tee, but those boards are bad for your usually impeccable taste.)

BEST to Worst ...

Lee - by a mile, at least.

I don't care who owns the rights to Hallelujah, Lee OWNED the performance of it tonight. Jason Castro and Tim Urban (who is still in my pocket) sang a toned down Jeff Buckley version of the song, making it all sugary sweet and innocent. Lee, on the other hand, actually tipped his hat to Cohen and went with a more is more approach to remind us that he's HOT (that one is for my husband, who accused me of not being able to post without talking about how HOT Lee is). The choir, the smoke, the gruff "Hallelujah"s - a spin on the song that only a "rocker" could do, and I got chills. "Moment" is overrated, but this was one.

But as great as his "moment" was, Simple Man might have been my favorite performance of the night. The lyrics rang true to Lee, and he sang it clean and without the use of any backup gimmicks. And, in both cases, the judges ate it up. As they should have.

Crystal - "she's such a hippie"

Melissa Ethridge was totally predictable and boring, harmonica and all. If you'd asked me to pick a song for Crystal to sing on day one simply by looking at her, I would have said "Melissa Ethridge". It started out great - dark, slow, harmonica. Then 3 clicks of a drum and the karaoke machine came on.

Thank God for Ellen! I don't care what Crystal claims, Maybe I'm Amazed DID push her out of her comfort zone. She sang notes we haven't heard for at least 6 weeks, she got out from behind her Buskeresque guitar and attached harmonica, and she kept Sir McCartney's original lyrics in tact (is that a 1st on AI, ever?). Thank you, Crystal, for reminding me why you're still the frontrunner.

Casey -

What was sadder than seeing him in Cool, TX surrounded by all 40 of his fans? Listening to him sing Ok, It's Alright With Me. I'm pretty sure he knew he'd be thrown under the bus no matter what happened, so he followed in Crystal's footsteps and sang lyrics straight to the judges. And he looked as excited to be singing it as John Mayer, no doubt, was to hear that Casey would be butchering Daughters later in the night.

Randy and Kara all but said "sing this one last song for all of the girls, and maybe you should consider this type of music after you leave Idol as the loser". I'm not a John Mayer fan anyway, but Daughters is probably his lamest song. That said, I'm pretty sure Casey could have jazzed it up, made it different, made it likeable - if only he hadn't already given up.


And in spite of all of the judges transparent prodding, I'm convinced we might be looking at a Lee/Casey finale.

Close your eyes and you're listeing to Taylor Hicks - who WON this show once. Open your eyes and Casey is way better looking than Taylor Hicks - who WON this show once. Uh oh.

*Cowellelujah*

The title is in quotes because it is taken from a 2008 article in The Mail Online. Yes, Simon Cowell owns the rights to Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah. He has been making buckets of money off of it being recorded by contestants on all his talent show productions in England for the past few years. And it is a great song. But I wondered why this song, written by a pretty obscure songwriter back in the late 60s or 70's was all of the sudden the new *Amazing Grace*. I mean, I know who Leoanard Cohen is only because I hung around with a person who was very savvy musically back in 1972-73 (thank you L) . I didn't hear his songs on KLEO top 40 hits back in those days. And, I had never heard Hallelujah until Jason Castro sang it on Idol (courtesy of rights owned by Simon Cowell). And I have wondered why some of Cohen's other songs have not been sung on Idol...such as Suzanne and Bird on A Wire. Guess Simon didn't buy those.

So...Lee had his moment. And it was a very emotional performance to follow his earlier emotional performance. Lee is was all emo and that was a very smart thing to be tonight. You cannot go wrong singing about your mama and God. And it certainly helps that Hallelujah is not vocally challenging. Even Tim Urban had a moment with it. And Lee had the choir and some smoke behind him too. So, it is no wonder that he is number 1 on Dial Idol rankings.

Now, before KK goes bonkers at my sarcastic tone about Lee, let me explain that for the past week, Lee's fans are verging on Adam/Siobahn fan hysteria. Crystal posts a tweet on facebook and there are 2 or 3 Lee fans whose comments are generally as profound as the following: U suck! Go Home. Lee Rules! I kid you not, some 47 year old woman posted almost that exact verbiage. I looked up her profile and found out that she considers herself *a happy person*. She also made the error of telling the entire world the name of the doctor she works for and what town she lives in. Now...some people might be inclined to contact her employer and let him know how she spends her work hours on facebook telling strangers they suck. (Believe me, I was tempted but I'm not going to get sued for tortious interference with her employment or anything like that). So, i just reported her to the Facebook police. Speaking of which, I wish someone would police Mr. Aunt Tee on Facebook. He has now bonded with strangers in London who share our last name.

Moving on. I thought Crystal was great tonight. What can you do when your up against mom and God? I like her better when she doesn't use the harmonica. And Come To My Window is not my favorite song in the world either. When it was hinted she was doing Melissa Etheridge I went to youtube and heard Melissa sing a song called *Indiana* which I wish Crystal had sung instead. I have no idea if it was a big hit for Melissa or not but its lyrics would have been very compelling. Crystal did knock Maybe I'm Amazed out of the theatre. And she didn't wimp out on it like that Jem woman on Youtube did. She did it in Paul McCartney's style. I also liked that she didn't compromise the lyrics and sang *maybe I'm a man*. I think she's not going to mess with another songwriter's lyrics.

I love Casey. In fact, if Crystal doesn't make it to the finals, I'm voting for Casey just to piss off the horrible Lee fans. But he wasn't very good tonight. Have to agree with Randy's comments on the first song...it was just all right. He had no choice but to do Daughters. Which is a good song I had never heard before. However, I have been following John Mayer a bit on the gossip sights lately and have to say that he is not a very admirable person doing his kiss and tell about all of his conquests. But that is not Casey's fault. Still, Casey has a very strong fan base (they are not obnoxious like Lee's fans) so..I'm hoping Crystal pulls it through.

Of course, the last thing Mr. Aunt Tee wants to watch somewhere in a rural NY state motel next week is American Idol. And the last thing I want to watch in a rural hotel in Indiana is 4 hours of Lost. Hope you all voted for Crystal just to make sure he suffers as much on Tuesday night as I will suffer on Sunday night!

If it's any consolation ...

... the only person who got more camera time that you, Big Mike, is your sobbing wife and baby (also sobbing).

At one time I predicted that the Top 3 would be Crystal, Lee, and Eyebrows. Of course, I'm ecstatic that Eyebrows didn't stay the course, and am pleased with his "replacement" - even if I am still concerned about the Taylor Hicks factor.

I'm really looking forward to seeing Lee and Crystal return home. And I'm sure Casey's return home will be filled with screaming girls of all ages.

After dealing with a sick baby for an entire day, I didn't have the stamina to watch last night's performances in their entirety, and fast forwarded through all three of them. Even Daughtry - the original David Cook - and Jon Bon Jovi, who I've loved since I was 7. But I'm sure they were fantastic. I was just. that. tired.