Psychological Warfare

Were the judges and producers shamed by the reaction of nearly every TV critic to the travesty that was last week's show?  No, I think not.  I think they are just engaging in a bit of psycho war on the viewers. 

Tonight's theme is Then and Now.  Harry Connick, Jr., a big favorite of mine, is a mentor this week to help guide the group through the *then* songs.   The group comes out and for once you cannot tell the order of performance from the way they are standing.  Psych ops trick #1.

Angie sings first.  In her mentoring session on the hit song choice, Harry Connick says his family all loves her but he doesn't...something about her doesn't click with him.  She pretends to walk out.  She thinks he has a great sense of humor.  He probably does.  I'm not sure he was really kidding.  I'm thinking he really doesn't like her very much and was trying to convey a message to her self-entitled ass that she isn't the sun the moon and the stars that her high school yearbook editors told her she was.  Whoosh over Angie's polygamous hair head.    She is singing another Rihanna song, Diamonds, and...big surprise...playing the PIANO (such a talent she is...no other contestant has ever played the piano but her and if they did well they were not ANGIE).  The performance is typical Angie....coy looks at the camera (one commenter described her camera technique as *eye f...ing the camera*)...maniacal pounding of keys on the big notes... squirming and shoulder posturing to appear sexy...and in my opinion.... a vocal full of off-pitch notes. (I am not alone in this assessment...nearly every critic who actually has an ear for music has said she missed notes badly in this performance). She was really going for votes here.  The judges did not praise her which I'm sure shocked her hair extensions to the stitches..as she basically repeated the same performance she did last week with a different Rihanna song  and they considered  that the second coming of Adele. Ryan questions here and she goes into pageant girl mode...I swear she should run for Miss Massachusetts when this is over.  Nicki said *this wasn't like listening to Angie playing the piano in her room...you were performing to the camera*.  Angie has never played the piano like she wasn't trying to seduce every living thing in sight.  Oh well...

Amber, who was given one or two or maybe even three standing ovations last week for what were decent but not outstanding performances, is up next.  Keep in mind that Amber is *current* according to the judges...the most *current* of all of them.  So, she sings Pink's *Just Give Me a Reason* and it is one hot mess.  She hadn't learned the words in time for her mentoring session with Harry but he is kind to her about it.  She cannot really sing an up tempo song...or maybe she cannot really sing a current song.  The judges say it wasn't *stellar* but Keith and maybe Mariah are full of excuses for her.  (Its really hard to learn a song and perform in front of a live audience with TV cameras and stuff).  So Psy Ops #2...feel sorry for Amber folks.   Amber seems to know she wasn't that good even before they start judging.  You get her away from *current* artists like Celine Dion and Whitney Houston and the girl just falls apart.  

Candice comes out with a vengeance.  She's singing Bruno Mar's *When I Was Your Man* and she is out to shove last week's critique up some judge's heiny-holes.  This wasn't just smoke up the hole...this was fire in the hole and I hope those judges felt it.  Well...according to the critiques they did.  I admit that at one point, I got tears in my eyes.  I had not had any wine either.  Her voice just made me cry.  The judges gave her lots of praise...probably because they really didn't want her to be in the bottom 2 and realize they almost messed up last week.  Nicki says Candice took her advice and so within a week has magically transformed into a *now artist*.  Nicki also asks her if she has lost weight which reveals what is REALLY bugging the producers here. 

Kree is very gracious about the totally unfair critiques she got last week and said she was going to try to connect with the audience this week.  She is singing the new Carrie Underwood single *See You Again.*  Harry loves Kree.  Kree sits on the stool with a guitar guy next to her and pours her heart into this one...and I start bawling because I realize that she is not singing about some guy she will see again but her dead parents.  She almost loses it at one point.  Keith...who is beginning to get on my shit list...criticizes her for not standing up and moving around (even though every time she does they tell her to stop trying to perform and just sing the song...Psy Ops#3).  The other three judges give her rave reviews but since Keith is the country guy...will the audience just remember his? Do you suppose the judges  drew straws before the show to determine who was going to have to follow Nigel's dictum that Kree be elimated and Keith drew the short straw?  Something is going on there.  Harry is backstage and I think doing a slow burn at Keith's remarks and he comes out and basically gives his *best performance of the night so far* blessing to Kree.  Psy Ops #4.

So its time for the *Then* songs:

Harry says once again that he doesn't like Angie.  He thinks she is mean.  I'm beginning to think he really hates her even though its all posited as a joke.  Or maybe I just cannot fathom someone as cool as Harry Connick, Jr. thinking Angie is anything but an averagely pleasant singer.  Angie sings *Someone to Watch Over Me*.  When Alison Arehata sang this song, I bawled like a baby.  Angie left me cold despite her ball gown and visible boobs.  I do remember thinking while watching it that she didn't give off one bit of a vulnerable vibe during that performance...in fact...I was thinking whoever is dumb enough to hook up with her is going to need someone to watch over HIM because she will eat him alive.  She puts all sorts of runs and frills on the end because she cannot resist the glory notes.  The judges say this was better than her first performance but are not effusive.  I'm betting Harry really is hating her for screwing with the melody.  At this point Nicki and Mariah get into a fight just to be fighting about something but I think Mariah got the best of it by saying that *as a singer* she knows what she is talking about!  Take that Nicki rap talker!

Amber reprises *My Funny Valentine* and completely ignores Harry's advice and adds even more runs and trills and high notes where low notes should be than she did in her first peformance.  Well, its time of Psy Ops #5 because she gets a standing ovation.  In addition, we get another *poor Amber...its so hard being you* critique.  Amber starts crying...this is getting ridiculous.   

The only thing about the critique given to Kree that I thought was remotely valid was that she should have chosen a different song.  That said, I thought her version of Stormy Weather was great...even if she too couldn't resist mucking with the melody too much.  The judges aren't impressed at all...praising her flawless vocals almost as an afterthought.  (Early in the show Randy was saying its all about singing...now its not so much...  Psy Ops #6).  The judges use this opportunity to bash Harry's mentoring and he is not having it and he and Randy get into it.  I'm with Harry....don't mess with the standards. I am really sick of all the melisma and glory runs being done on these vocal talent shows.  I know the audience eats it up but what do they know?  These old standards are all about phrasing...a concept completely alien to young singers today.

So...I turned off the TV at that point.  I didn't see the last group number....did they say everyone but Kree was wonderful?  

I'm not sure I will watch the results show tomorrow...

I'm thinking that Amber should go home.  I suspect she will but I may be wrong.   

   

Judges For Sale?

I told you I was not alone in my disgust with last week's performance show and the judges trashing of Kree and Candice in favor of the skinny young girls. Here is a great video clip of Slezak and Melinda Doolittle judging the judges:  http://tvline.com/2013/04/29/idology-american-idol-season-12-amber-angie-candice-kree-biased-judges/

We will see if they reverse course this week after their blatant attempt to push Kree out of the contest failed with the audiences and may result in Candice going home.  I swear if that brat Angie wins this season, it is my last.  The word is that she is hauling in the votes ala Scotty McCreery way ahead of the others but I don't know how anyone can know that.  PFFFT! 

Actions Have Consequences

I confess, I didn't watch the show tonight.  Instead I played video games and read the live blog by MJ, who seems to share my aversion for Angie but is not quite so vocal about it.  MJ seemed to get a kick out of Angie thinking for a moment that Jessie C, who tweeted her, was actually there in person.  That is the only moment I read about that I wish I had actually seen!  She really has an insufferably huge ego! 

So, I missed nothing much I gather.  Everyone is safe.  However, the producers and judges may want to reconsider their pimping approach as the designated dud, Kree, was in the top 2 with their darling Angie and either Candice or Amber was in last place.  So they will combine votes from tonight and next week?  I'm thinking Kree got a bunch of Janelle's votes.   Good for her! 

Bad news that Angie is in top 2 but it was to be expected after the tongue bath they gave her last night.   Bad news that Candice is in the bottom 2.  I'm wondering if the audience is sick of Amber being pushed down their throat. 

I'm also wondering if Angie and Amber are getting extra coaching from the production staff.

But as for consequences....the bad choices made by Idol producers....and I am talking to you Nigel Lythgoe...have resulted in Duck Dynasty getting higher ratings Wednesday night than Idol did in the important 18-49 demographic.  http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/tv-ratings-duck-dynasty-tops-446567.

I have never seen Duck Dynasty...but evidently its quite the rage.  A family of good old boy  Cajuns have a business making duck calls and this is the story of their lives.  I may need to check it out and it might replace Idol in my weekly schedule.

I guess Nicki sounding like a duck call just doesn't cut it when audiences can watch the real thing.

I was SO not alone in my assessment of last night's show.  Every commentator I have read (ok...only about 4 others) has remarked that the pimping of Amber was insufferable and the treatment of Candice and Kree unfair.  And every commentator I've read thinks the show is on its very last legs.   



 

I'm Crying A River

I have a horrible sense of foreboding that for the THIRD year in a row, the contestant I like the least is going to be in the finale.  According to the judges, tonight was Angie's night and I suppose someone more objective than I would concur that she had a very good night. 

The themes were contestants'  choice and one hit wonders (very loosely interpreted).  Before the show there was an article in TV Guide suggesting that the judges were pushing Amber because she seems very marketable and based on the judges comments, the third theme tonight was who is the most marketable.  The voice doesn't matter at all anymore...its all about styling...emotion...charisma...star power. Me thinks they do protest too much.  The Voice (a show premised on the theory that the voice is all that matters) is trouncing Idol in the ratings.  Heck, even reruns of The Big Bang Theory are trouncing Idol in the ratings.  Seriously...its true.

I'm not going to go performance by performance.  After Amber performed her first song (which she did well and did look beautiful doing so) and was praised profusely, I wrote in my notes:  *they are going to trash Kree tonight*.  Candice took a risk with the Drake song and they were a bit lukewarm about it.  Then poor Kree does her blues thing and they decide to hate it.  I really don't know why because I thought it was as good as Candice's song.  Nicki basically yells at Kree and tells her it was no good (or at least I think thats what she said as half of her last comment was bleeped).  Angie plays the piano and we have a collective celebration of Angie.  

They do duets, and Kree is shoved aside again as they praise Amber's new found confidence.  Nicki talks about how divas should perform together and Ryan does some nonsense between Nicki and Mariah which just highlights how horrible this season is.  Candice and Angie evidently know how to sing a duet right.  

The one hit wonders were interesting.  My hope that disco died with Donna Summers was dashed when Amber does MacArthur Park disco style like Donna Summers did.   How this song is a one hit wonder I do not know because it was covered by about everyone back in the day including Anthony Newley who was indeed a one hit wonder.  The BeeGee's were hardly one hit wonders but maybe the original artist was...anyway Emotion is a song that was played to death during disco fever.  I thought Amber lost complete control of MacArthur Park and was horribly off pitch on the glory notes and that Candice was ok but not remarkable.  Kree does Whiter Shade of Pale which maybe was a one hit thing for Percy Sledge?  I don't know and the judges like it slightly better than her first song but Nicki talks about her going home tomorrow which really does suggest that this whole season is one big rigged fraud.  And Cry Me A River?  Hardly a one hit wonder except for the one person they said sang it along with about every other unknown who sang it.  By that criteria, *My Heart Will Go On* is a one hit wonder because I'm sure some obscure artist somewhere covered it on some CD which sold 45 copies.  When I think of one hit wonders I think *My Boy Lollipop*. 

Ok, Angie is the star tonight.  Kree will be up for the save which they may or may not use.

The hospital scenes were inspiring but I couldn't help but notice that when Angie and Amber entered that one hospital room, Angie jumped in like *surprise here I am...I know you will be thrilled to see me* and Amber walked in like a regular person.  Angie also fell in love with Morrison because *he recognized ME ME ME* while Candice introduced herself to the one little boy very humbly and Kree was asking questions of the staff about the programs and patients.   I really do not like Angie. 

I must say however, that I'm not just subjective about Angie, I have really been dismayed at this season and Idol's downfall and can no longer be objective about the show.  Last night, I got my days mixed up and thought it was Wednesday and sat down with my pen and pad with dread and foreboding because I had to watch the show.  Then I realized it was NOT Wednesday and that I could watch The Voice instead.  Which I did and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  

I'm sorry Idol...when you have lost me, you've lost America...so many friends and relatives have abandoned the show over the past two years and I hung in there hoping for a magic season with contestants like David Cook, Jason Castro, Adam Lambert, Haley Reinhardt, Crystal Bowersox, or Melinda Doolittle.  Not to mention Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood and Jennifer Hudson.  Instead we get Lazaro and Zoanetta.

I doubt I will watch tomorrow's show until the very end.  As I understand it they are showcasing Lee DeWyze. You know they are depressed in Idol land if they are bringing back a guy whose face they have never even posted on the backround montage on the show's opening as an Idol winner and whom they didn't bring back to perform the season after he won!  Maybe he will sing Hallelujah and make my week complete!

Update:  After googling Whiter Shade of Pale I discovered it was originally released by Procol Harem, a British band, in the late 60s and was something of an anthem for The Summer of Love (1967).  It appears Percy Sledge covered the song.  I should have known that.  But as the song was named, along with Bohemian Rhapsody, as one of the best songs by British songwriters for a certain time period....I would not call it a *one hit wonder* either.  But glad Kree got to sing it as its a song I like which I'm not sure I have ever heard on Idol. 

Update 2:  I am seriously slipping in my analysis and a reading of another blog slapped me right in the face with the  obvious!  It was apparent from the beginning when you saw the order of performance.  They were going to push Amber and Angie down our throats no matter what.  (You know...I don't think Kree has EVER had the pimp spot this whole season).  They want a young, thin, idol this year.  Plump ladies need not apply.  So...when Amber does a Celine Dion song...she is called *current*.  When Candice does a Drake song...I don't know him but I gather he is much more current than Celine since Celine isn't known for her hip hop...she is called *old fashioned*.  Angie's theatrics, which were criticized as phony 4 weeks ago, were just great tonight but Kree's restraint, praised all season and encouraged by Jimmy, was *not worthy of a top 4 performance*. 

Ack...they want Rihanna....they want....hmmm...who is Angie....cannot think of anyone current she is like except for the contestants in the Miss America pageant and just like a typical New England pageant queen she is sorta homely and horsey looking with those big teeth. They all play the piano too! 

We see this season after season.  They decide that the best talent isn't marketable enough so they turn on them.  Thus lets push that insipid Lauren Alaina over Haley and James Durbin.  Lets push that paint salesman over Crystal. 

If its an Angie/Amber finale...I won't be watching again but will probably put in some votes for Amber since I don't hate her.  She is just so lame compared to Candice and Kree. 

Nicki Minaj Says She's Carrying Idol

According to this article: http://www.kiss925.com/2013/04/20/is-nicki-minaj-to-blame-for-poor-american-idol-ratings/,  Ms. Minaj thinks she is the one carrying the show this season.  Sources quote her trashing her fellow judges and blaming them for the shows low ratings.  This was posted on Facebook for the world to comment on and you can see for yourself that the commenters are running about 20 to 1 against Nicki. 

In fairness to Nicki, 4 judges is 1 judge too many and 1 diva and 1 diva wanna bee are 1 diva wanna bees too many.  The fact that Idol keeps changing its format regarding the top 10...top 20...each year, the save that will never die, and the farce of contestant selection (Zoanetta anyone?) had to turn viewers off too.  Also in fairness to Nicki, she is often on point in her critiques but putting up with the rest of her nonsense hardly makes the occasional gem worth sifting through the fecal matter that has become her shtick!  And, as with Zoanetta, she if often profoundly wrong!  I swear that Zoanetta fiasco nearly turned me off the show and I bet it did a lot of other people...no matter how nice a person Zoanetta ultimately seemed to be...her talent was non-existent.  

So there is blame to pass around...but Ms Minaj gets more than her fair share of it.  Ultimately, the person whose bright idea it was to add her to the mix should be fired...but it might not matter.  If Idol keeps going the way it has so far, I think that person will be looking for other employment anyway.

Update:  A source is reporting that the Idol producers wanted to fire MARIAH and bring back JLo for the rest of the season in order to boost plummeting ratings.  OMG.  These people are nuts.  Do they not READ what the audience is saying about Minaj?  They are so out of touch with the viewers that the show deserves to die. 



  
 

Save Idol

What a strange show tonight. Its like TPTB realize the end is nigh and want to relive the glory days but then they do something stupid like have the women sing a Donna Summer medley and you think...they just don't care anymore.  So, why should we?

I know Donna Summer's recently died but her music was dead 30 years ago and no one has been clamoring for Disco revival.  So they put them out there prancing around (and singing in a key way too low for Janelle and Kree..hmmm) looking like fools.  And they top it off with a stupid Fiesta mission to go find the star of Glee and its clear that while these girls can sing...none of them can act because hearing them mechanically say the lines from the script they were given as they searched for the clues was painful.  Arrg

So, they are bringing them on one by one to see the recap and hear Jimmy's advice and I can hardly stand to watch Angie.  I would report on what Jimmy said but nobody cares what he thinks anymore so lets put him out to pasture too.

Paula Abdul surprises Candice and that is a nice touch and I want to have all the judges from every season up for an audience vote and the top 3 vote getters are made the judges next season.  I'm pretty sure Paula would be in that top 3 and Nicki Menaj would have to sing for the save and 90% of the viewers would not vote to save her. Randy would be gone and Steven Tyler would be in his place.  I'm assuming Simon would make a mad dash back to Idol since X Factor is such a bust but I would vote for Keith instead.  Yay for The Voice!

I didn't watch season 2 when Clay and Ruben had their duel for the top spot but have read over the years on the Forum that die hard Aiken fans are still convinced there was some sort of technological glitch (accidental or on purpose) which prevented him from winning.  He is singing his iconic BOTW tonight and I cannot help but wondering if its done to show Lazaro fans how the song should be sung.  But, I'm not into Clay's version either.  His voice is great but all the melisma and vibrato and runs are making me crazy.  However, I guess I know who started that fad that so many Idol hopefuls have imitated.  Just sing the damn song, Clay.

Her comes Fantasia.  I did not see her season either but cannot imagine how Minnie Mouse beat Jennifer Hudson.   All I can remember about Fantasia is everyone raving about her Summertime performance which I watched on Youtube to see what all the fuss was about.  It was ok, but hardly earth shattering.  There was an article a few years ago in People magazine about her being down to her last $3 and she couldn't afford to pay off the pizza delivery man.  Evidently she squandered what little money she made after Idol on family, friends, and junk.  Her song is making me tense.  Looks like its making Nicki tense too. Fantasia has been taking acting lessons because she emotes the heck out of the song...trembling lip....bug eyes and all.  I suspect she is not as desperate for the man as she is for the bucks and I suppose being down to your last $3 would make my lip quiver if I was trying to make a comeback too. 

Ok..here come  the results and I was sad to see Kree in the bottom 2 and Angie in the top 3.  But good for Amber to get out of the bottom 2 and some confidence.  They are still using the save....when will it end?  Will they save the one who is sent home after the finale?  What a crock!  Of course, they don't want Janelle there anymore and she is going home and as my friend the boss said...they will really start pushing the favorites now.  Actually, that may not be a bad thing because I think they love Amber more than Angie and maybe love Kree more than Angie too. Candice is their chosen one so I hope she is not the psycho girl Lazaro talked about.  

But...they will probably use the save next week.  They have an extra week of production if they do not use it. 

I have no idea what bad theme they will take on next week.  At least they are done with poor dead Donna Summers and we can be thankful for that. 

I'll Stand For You or Is It Hunger Games by Angie Miller

Standing Ovations all around tonight...except for poor Janelle...who is clearly the one targeted to go home next by the powers that be. As my interim post disclosed, the powers that be are finally acknowledging there is something wrong with this season and blaming it on lack of judicial *chemistry*.  Evidently there is also some lack of contestant chemistry as this is the first season I can recall when contestants are taking pot shots at each other.  There was a bit of a twitter scandal when Burnell was eliminated (Angie's twitters *liking* or agreeing with some which trash edLazaro and praised Burnell.)  Now Lazaro is speaking up about a *craaazy* girl contestant who *treats this like the hunger games*.  He doesn't mention names but his sister has been tweeting some less than nice comments about Angie so you put the pieces together.  http://www.mjsbigblog.com/lazaro-arbos-one-of-the-remaining-girls-is-crazy-and-thinks-shes-in-the-hunger-games-poll.htm.   See also http://www.votefortheworst.com/.  The money is on Angie Miller being the psycho  and I'll follow that money to the bank.  But you cannot help but wonder if the judges infighting has contaminated the contestants somewhat.  Nope, I don't think so.  Of course, others have speculated that it could be Candice since she and Burnell were so close and Burnell feels cheated by Lazaro's higher finish. Evidently Lazaro follows everyone on twitter except for Candice and Candice did join in that practical joke on Lazaro.  Hmmm....I think Candice is too sure of herself to be playing cutthroat games.  

Once again, a feeling of dread came over me as I realized it was Wednesday night and that I *had* to watch Idol.  Now I know I don't have to do anything of the sort but I've committed to finishing out this year's blog and I don't want to be a quitter even if everyone else has quit watching the show and reading here.  The themes this week are *songs from the year you were born* and *songs from Divas*.  Was this the producers way of getting under Nicki's skin because there is no way she is a diva and here sits Mariah who is having 2 of her songs performed tonight?  Maybe.
 
Ryan comes out after the judges and the crowd seems more insanely loud than usual.  He has to quiet them down so he can acknowledge the terrorist attack in Boston and send condolences.  It was a weird juxtoposition of Hollywood hype and reality. 

Candice starts first and sings a song from 1989 *Straight Up* by Paula Abdul.  I have never heard this song and have no idea why she chose it but we later learn Janelle helped her pick it out.  I think she does a nice job but I'm not in love with the song...although I probably would have liked it a lot less when Paula sang it.   The judges loved it but did not stand up.  Nicki took a little swipe at the judges from last season who failed to put Candice through...take that you producers who are messing with me by flaunting Mariah's diva hood!  Jimmy is not that impressed but I think he just wants Candice to do big ballads and *oversing*. 

Janelle sings the song that calmed her when she was a baby, Vince Gill's *When I call Your Name*.  She gives it the pure country treatment.  Everyone liked it except for Keith who *didn't feel it*.  Mariah said it brought tears to her eyes.  (I missed the announcement of the year she was born as I had switched over to check out an episode of *Hoarders Buried Alive* and got caught up in the moment there...seriously).  Nicki suggests she might be going home this week (or maybe that was on the next song).  Anyway, its pretty clear she is next on TPTB's radar to go home but I felt the song even if Keith didn't.

Kree was born in 1990.  This seems impossible because it was just 1990 a year or two ago.  She sings *She Talks To Angels* and Randy and Nicki loved it.  Mariah seemed to think Kree was *performing* too much and Keith thought she looked a bit awkward.  Then Nicki and Mariah go back and forth about whether they agree with each other or not which was a waste of our time. I thought Kree did a nice job but I wanted something more.  Jimmy agrees with me. 

So, here comes Angie, at her piano as I had predicted.  She is from Boston so dedicates her performance to the people of her hometown.  This is a nice touch and maybe it was actually somewhat sincere, because surely she wouldn't use a tragedy to get votes...would she? Well not unless she thinks this is the Hunger Games  She sings *I'll Stand By You* by The Pretenders from 1994 and writhes and grimaces as she plays.  It would be completely heartless of me to say that I did not feel some emotion as she sang.  I did but I am attributing it to the song and not her performance. The judges of course cannot hate the performance since it was allegedly about Boston and they all tell her how wonderful it was that she dedicated it to Boston and how she is great when she sings at the piano.  Nicki, however, also comments that it was *smart* of her to dedicate the song.  I think Nicki sees through her.  Ryan adds a little statement that the contestants *all like each other*.  That he says it standing next to Angie Miller is further proof to me that she is the psycho contestant according to Lazaro and everyone knows it.  

Amber takes on Mariah's cover of Harry Nillson's *Without You*.  I had not heard Mariah's version.  I am only familiar with Harry Nillson's version which I believe was on his album *Nillson in the Night*...which I had lo those many years ago.  Nicki throws Mariah some props saying it wasn't as good as Mariah's performance and complains about Amber *feeling it* in the low parts of the song.  I thought Amber did great. 

So...now part 2 and I am getting more than a little bored already.

Its Diva time and Candice chooses to tackle Mariah AND Whitney with *When You Believe*.  I had to look up the movie this song was featured in... it was Prince of Egypt in 1999.  Its almost as if Candice was saying to Angie...take that you little phony....this is how an inspirational song is sung. It occurs to me that this is a much better song to inspire people after a terrorist attack than Angie singing about herself standing by someone so that  Angie is the star of the song.  Once again, Candice shows who is boss and while I would love for Kree to win, I have to honestly admit that Candice is marginally ahead of her. All of the judges stand up for Candice which gave me much pleasure as only 3 stood up for Angie.  Nicki tells us how this song inspired her when she was *little*...complimenting Mariah and at the same time dissing her about her age. 

Janelle, who idolizes Dolly Parton, proves she is not as smart as Dolly by singing *Dumb Blonde*.  It was a cute fun performance but not a showstopper and Keith echoes my thoughts when he says *of all the songs in Dolly's songbook, I don't think this one was one of her standouts*.  Janelle needed another tearjerker tonight and I would almost have put up with *And I Will Always Love Youuuuuu* if she had sung it like Dolly wrote it and not like Whitney sang it.  Oh well.  I suspect Janelle will be going home tomorrow.

I would have never guess that Kree was a Celine Dion fan (I am not particularly but I think its because I heard that Titanic song too much and I hated the movie).  I am so not a Celine Dion fan that I didn't write down the name of the song and only can remember it was about If You Are in Love...or something.  Kree looks amazing in her little black dress and does a wonderful job with the song.  It doesn't sound like Celine at all which as far as I'm concerned is a good thing.  The judges loved it and at least 2 or 3 stood up.

Oh crap...here comes Angie talking about how singing this Beyonce song is such a huge risk for her and how she wants to bring passion to it blah blahde blah.  She comes out and sings *Halo*...a song I don't know because I don't give a hoot about Beyonce...which appears to be a  tender love song.  Angie decides that since Beyonce is fierce she is going to pretend to be angry and tough and I think overacts it to death and what her angry gestures and fierce faces have to do with a tender love song, I have no idea...save it for the dorm Angie.  The judges lap it up and stand up.  Crap. So will America. 

Amber takes on Barbra Streisand (take that Angie and stupid Beyonce) and does *What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life*.  She gets a full standing O as well.  As this song is so retro, I'm not sure the audience is going to appreciate her performance.  I would not call it perfect but it was darn good and more heartfelt than Angie's antics. 

There is some speculation that the *save* is still in play, even though normally it is not used when only 5 are left.  I'm hoping its not in play as this season cannot end soon enough for me.  If the save is in play we will get to see all 5 perform again next week.  I may have to start drinking again. 



  

Its Not Just Me!

It appears I'm not the only viewer who is dissatisfied with Idol this season but I may be one of the few who is still watching! Following is a link to an article in which Nigel Lythgoe, Idol super producer, blames the much lower ratings this season on the lack of chemistry among the judges.  Then goes on to disavow all responsibility for choosing the judges...blaming it on *Fox*.  Yeah, right. 

The article further states that The Voice is now beating Idol in the ratings and after watching The Voice for the past few weeks, I see why.  And, while Nigel is careful not to blame any one judge for the lack of *chemistry*, the viewers who have commented on the article are not so cautious...Nicki Menaj is the Lazaro of the judges...without the sympathy vote.  The viewers want her gone gone gone. 

http://music.yahoo.com/blogs/reality-rocks/nigel-lythgoe-blames-lack-judge-chemistry-idol-ratings-001302539.html

Shall We Demand A Recount?

No...Lazaro is finally gone and its about 2 weeks overdue, but I cannot help but wondering about the integrity of this result since he was in the top 3 last week.  Perhaps this season just has very fickle voters or perhaps his sympathy voters just couldn't bring themselves to dial or sign in last night after his very dismal performances.  So..the Lazaro era has ended. 

The show tonight started with Ryan pairing the groups off, an exercise which just wastes the too many minutes they have to fill on Thursday night.  The group performs a medley of Bacharach/David songs and each one gets a moment to shine.  Lazaro sings *This Guy* way off key and messes up the lyrics...not a good portent for the night.  Maybe I'm just seeing things but it looked like the ladies were giving him a wide berth as if they didn't want to catch whatever he has that has made him become even more terrible than he was to begin with.  They all end singing *Thats What Friends Are For* and I'm thinking Angie would like to stab them all in the back or trip them up on stage.  Maybe she really is a sweetheart and not the calculating selfish diva but I don't think so.

We have a rare Ford commercial where they all play Fiesta soccer.  I'm sorry but I just burst out laughing (and still chuckle) when I see that when Lazaro is driving to make the decisive score the announcer says *oh nooo...he's booted it into the stands*.  Story of his week. 

Nice to see Scotty again although I thought the song was a little weak and having not really followed Kelley Clarkson, it was nice to see and hear her again but whoever did the glitter on her eyelids should be shot because it made her look like a scary kewpie doll. Mariah and Kelley have a little moment where Kelley is star struck and I actually believe she really is.  Unlike some who experience sudden fame, Kelley has really kept her head about her.  No Lindsay Lohan moments for her.  Admirable.

Ok, now they have them paired 2x2 and no surprise (but still a relief) that Candice and Kree are in the top 2.  I was sort of hoping that Angie and Janelle were in the bottom 2 (they would have used the save for either of them at this point since Lazaro was still there) so that Angie could get a dose of humility) but not at the expense of enduring Lazaro fail another week.  I feel bad for Amber because I think she is so much more talented and a far nicer (less self-entitled) person than Angie but for some reason the viewers aren't loving her.  But Burnell evidently does! 

Next week, Angie will be writhing at her piano over God songs since Nicki told her to do what she does best and she will.  Its getting warmer and I might not need my houseshoes by then so if I need them to catch some sick, they will be there. 

Lazaro...Oh Lazaro

After my hissy fit of last week, which I think you will agree was justified by the horrendous performances by nearly all in *Rock Week*, I was almost afraid to watch the show this week.  My friend kindly sent me the link to the performance of  Slow Ride by Allison Irehata and Adam Lambert during their season's Rock Week, and if you search it on Youtube and compare it to what happened last week, you will perhaps be a little more forgiving of my tirade.  But...its a new dawn...its a new day...and while I haven't lost 100 lbs like Jennifer Hudson and I wouldn't say I'm feeling good... I'm feeling better.

The show opens with a video recap of the emotional departure of poor Burnell.  The judges didn't save him because they are saving a save for a girl and they have to use it this week so...this week is sort of a gimme for everyone but Lazaro...in the unlikely event that he gets the least votes.  Since he made the top 3 last week, I doubt that will happen absent blatant vote rigging by the producers and I'm sure they are sorely tempted to perpetrate a fraud the magnitude of which would make the Quiz show scandals of the 50s look like a child's tea party and send him and his tight pants back to Florida.  I couldn't help but notice that Lazaro was not featured in the tribute to Burnell...I'm not even sure the camera brushed by him.  So...Burnell is gone and Lazaro is, like his patron saint Lazarus, refusing to die.  

We have two themes this week.  Someone on the production team must have been reading the National Inquirer about Dionne Warwick's bankruptcy and financial ruin and remembered that there was a songwriting team that made her famous (or that she made famous) back in the late 60s and 70s so we get Burt Bacharach and Hal David songs. Burt is also famous for once being married to Angie Dickenson who is famous for having a quickie with JFK at one of his inaugural balls but that is probably way too much 60's trivia for this blog.  The other theme is *the song I wish I had written* which has a little bit more promise even though I am anticipating ballad overload. 

Since they each sang two songs, I'm going to vary my approach and go from worst to best performances which means we start with:

Lazaro

The something we didn't know about Lazaro is that he likes to hunt which makes him, in his words, a Spanish redneck.  Which is odd since he didn't seem to take to country folk too much last week since he doesn't think they have teeth.  But this *one thing you don't know about me* segment is just hype anyway so who cares?

He is the Rasputin of the season...the judges pan him, the judges don't pan him, he forgets the words, he screws up the other contestants songs, he is not on key and he just will not die (metaphorically...no one wants him to literally die).  Tonight he outdoes his usual mediocrity and goes into straight horrible on *Close To You*.  The one thing about the Bacharach melodies is that they have key changes in every song and Lazaro doesn't remember to change from one off-key  to another off-key.  This was just excruciating to listen to.  He follows up with *Angels* by Robbie Williams which is a song sung a lot on Idol and which I still don't understand as something that special because the lyrics make no sense to me and Lazaro does nothing to help me like this song any better.  The judges are very critical of his performances (Nicki won't even comment on the last one) but love him as a person so that the audience won't hate them.  But clearly, Lazaro is the proverbial turd in the punchbowl at this party and you know that the producers are cursing the day they allowed him into the top 20.  They clearly underestimated America's affinity for the underdog and the power of the sympathy vote as well as the power of Lazaro's tight pants.  Now...this is the first time I have mentioned that Lazaro appears not to wear any underpants because I had not noticed it (really!) until some other bloggers mentioned it.  So I forced myself to look tonight and let us just say he would give those male ballerinas in tights a run for their money.  Now that we are all grossed out, I will move on to

Angie

We learn that Angie and her girlfriend make stupid videos and post them on YouTube.  This girl is nothing if not a self-promoter as her legion of fans will now be looking for them and she will be making some bucks because of it.  Clearly she is destined for tele-evangelism shakedowns ala Tammy Faye and Jim Bakker.  


I grew up in the Bacharach/David era and listened to the radio a lot then plus I watched all the variety shows and I have never heard the song she sang. I still don't know the name of it and cannot remember much about it except that she screeched some and did fake emotional faces.  Keith is really calling her on that aspect of her recent performances, the other judges tend to agree with him and I am glad but I doubt it will make any difference to the Angie-bots voting for her.  I thought she was pitchy but maybe I just don't like her voice.  For her second song, she turns again to God and the piano.  This song evidently got her through the horrible dark days of self-doubt she had after she graduated from highschool and was waiting to audition for Idol.  If you believe that story you are a sucker.  She inadvertently tells us the real reason she chose that song (besides it being one to which she can hit a few chords on her piano )...it will *get me into the top 5*.   She does her *emotion* thing again with her screwed up faced and raising her shoulders and the judges eat it up like lobster in butter sauce because it reminds them of the ONE good performance she did weeks and weeks ago of her original song at the piano.  She is going to be around much longer than I would like.  Curses!
 
Janelle

OK, maybe she wasn't much better than Angie but she is a nice person so she gets points for that.  Her Bacharach/David song, *I'll Never Fall In Love Again* is a bit lightweight and I'm not a fan of her schmoozing the audience and Keith as she sings it.  The judges don't love it but don't hate it.  For her second song, she does The Dance, by Garth Brooks and it is a much more soulful performance than the first.  But oops, neither she nor Mariah Carey know that the song was not written by Garth Brooks but by  someone else whose name I thought I wrote down but did not...Toby somebody?  Interesting that, I believe it was Nicki, said she didn't think she was up to the standards of Amber, Kree and Candice but did not say she wasn't as good as Angie.  Hmmm....  She may be up for the save tomorrow night.

Amber

Great minds can reasonably differ as to whether Amber is in 2nd or 3rd place tonight.  I'm going on song selection myself but have to say she knocked Say A Little Prayer out of the park tonight and looked beautiful doing it.  I'm not such a fan of Beyonce (did she write that song?) so I wasn't that thrilled with her second song except to say that I'm glad it was upbeat and my gosh...the legs on that girl!  I'm glad she followed Angie because she was so much better on both songs and I hope voters get it.  I'm afraid, however, that her fan base isn't that big and she too might be up for the save tomorrow night.  She is such a happy girl...I smile when I watch her and really would not be sad to see her win even if she is not my favorite.

Kree 

She is still my favorite but that is purely a matter of personal taste.  I loved her acapella beginning to What the World Needs Now and I loved that she went for some glory notes for a change.  I confess I got some smiley tears in my eyes as the fireworks images were shown behind her and she belted out that old Jackie DeShannon classic (I have vivid memories of her performing that on various variety shows like Hootenanny and Hullabaloo.)  Then, I love Kris Kristofferson.  I just do and I don't care if he is old and much the worse for the drink now.  He has written so many good songs and Help Me Make It Through the Night is only one of many. Kree is just a pleasure to listen to and watch.

Candice

I was just thinking and telling a friend today that there has not yet been a *moment* this season but that Candice has come pretty close.  Well she had the moment of moments tonight.  First, in *Don't Make Me Over* she could use her entire range in a way that she couldn't last week in *Satisfaction* so we were reminded of her huge talent.  Then, the final song...*A Love Song*...was out of this world and I agree with Randy (who does have a lot of *greatest moments ever* comments) that this performance of a song I have never heard was perhaps the greatest Idol moment for me (although Crystal's People Get Ready was almost as good).  I cannot believe they turned her away last year to have those teeny boppers compete for votes.  I loved her speaking her *Geechie* language (also known as Gullah).  It has been passed down from the slaves who were transported to that part of South Carolina and the Georgia Low Country as this link will explain and is fascinating. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gullah

So...altogether...except for Lazaro and Angie...a much better show tonight than last week's show.  Although I'm still cursing the powers that be who are keeping me off of Idol's forum board.  You did note that Nicki used the word hell tonight and it wasn't even bleeped?  I wonder how you say hell in Geechee? 

Recap of the Recaps

I didn't watch the show tonight, nor did I tape it so this is based on other sites recaps and I guess the big shock is that Lazaro was in the top 3.  The *lets lose Lazaro* ploy did not work.  I had a feeling Burnell would be going home after the performance he gave last night and of course,  he could not be saved, especially with the public voting for Lazaro like crazy against the girls.  I guess the judges named their top 3 which included fake Angie and Jimmy agreed with that assessment.  I am sorry I missed Casey James perform, but it sounds like I picked a good night to have more pressing matters at hand than watching this show slowly self-destruct into oblivion.

I swear, if its a Lazaro/Angie final the blog will end summarily and probably forever.  Of course, what does Idol expect but a farce of a program having brought in Nicki Minaj to  make a mess of the panel and putting forth talent like Zoanetta as the next great thing when any other year she would be one of the joke contestants and forgotten?  Not to mention getting rid of any male with talent before the top 20?   I bet they give Zoanetta a featured performance on finale night.  Do you suppose the voting public is thinking en masse....Idol you screwed the fans over this season with your stupid antics designed to generate ratings and we are going to shove it up your posterior by making Lazaro the next American Idol?  Actually, I'm tempted to vote for him for just that reason.  (I am really mad about being banned from their stupid web site).

Oh well...the Voice is on again Monday night.   

Here We Go Shockers Here We Go!

What a week!  For the first time in 48 years, the Wichita State Shockers are going to the final 4!  It is nearly unbelievable and even if they fare no better than they did in 1965 (coming in 4th of the 4) its a major achievement for the program, the city, the fans and most of all for the players!  I vividly remember watching the final 4 games on TV  in 1965 (they were televised in black and white) when the tallest player on the team was 6'5" and towered above the rest.  And even if the new Shocker fight song is rap crap...I'm still rooting for them to win!

Oh, you want to know about American Idol?  Well hell's bells! Even if you have no idea what the Final 4 is, the above paragraph is more interesting than the rest of this blog will be and the rest of this blog will be far more interesting than the show tonight. 

The bloom is not only off the rose on Idol...the rose is dead and tonight proved it.  The producers stack the line up with ballad singers and subpar male talent and then throw them a theme week of *Classic Rock...No Ballads*.  Well, as we shall see, the *No Ballads* rule was not taken very seriously and we were served a crock of psuedo rock by a 4 balladeers, 2 country singers, and an R&B diva.  Only two explanations for this theme: a) Idol's ever dwindling audience has complained about all the ballads; and b) let's lose Lazaro.  Right before the show, as I was contemplating how Lazaro would probably fail, I was thinking...I hope he pulls off some magic tonight and actually does well.  Sometimes, my wishes come true.

The show starts with Burnell who is the only guy left in the competition who has even an ice cube's chance in hell of making the finale.   Tonight he was in hell, singing a Bon Jovi song and trying to move around the stage like a rocker to *You Give Love a Bad Name* He did his best to take the tempo down ballad speed but it just sounded middling.  His voice was OK but his stage presence was not.  Keith was laughing at the end of the performance and tried to say it was because of Burnell's weird little kick at the end of the song but I think Keith was probably laughing about 1/5 of the way in.  This was not Burnell's night and I suspect he will be in the bottom 2 (of course, he was probably going to be there anyway) what with the bad critique and going first. 

Up next is a duet by Lazaro and Angie (who has her polygamy hair extensions back on tonight).  I had to check my notes to see what they sang because I totally blanked this performance except remembering that Lazaro once again forgot the words.  It was *A Crazy Little Thing Called Love* by Queen.   Nicki called them Ken and Barbie and Keith said it was variety showish.  I think they looked like Ken and Barbie from hell and the only interesting thing about it was Lazaro forgetting the words.

Kree is up next singing Janis.  Piece of My Heart is my favorite Janis song...ever...even over Bobby McGee.  I cannot count the number of times I sang this song off-key after too many beers at the Beer Garden in Lawrence in 1979-1980. Fortunately, about 5 other people joined in so I hope I was drowned out by their voices because I'm sure I sounded like hell.   Kree does a good job but dang I want her to OVERSING!  I curse Jimmy for telling her not to oversing.  This song should be oversung!  Still...it was one of the only good performances of the night.  Keith senses that Kree is not quite up to par since she seemed a bit subdued to him and wonders if it is her high heeled boots, but we learn she has a pinched nerve.  I bet it hurts like hell. 

Next Candice and Burnell do *The Letter* which I would not exactly call classic Rock but at least it is up tempo.  Burnell starts off really well considering how bad his solo was, and then Candice enters and blows him off the stage.  But the real *star* of this duet was the brass section which drowned out their best harmonies and made me want to scream *shut the brass the hell up*.  Someone should be shot for letting the brass overshadow their voices.  

Janelle is up next and Ryan announces she is going to sing Billy Joel's Piano Man.  I have no idea what the name of the song she sang was but I will see you in hell if it was Piano Man.  She is really getting better and better each week.  Keith must be consciously trying to drive Nicki crazy because he is talking about fashion tonight and points out how great Janell's boots are.  He also says she is a contender.  Nicki wants to have Janelle's boots and I bet you dollars to donuts she walked away with them after the show and doesn't pay Janelle for them.  Janelle gave one of the better performances tonight in my opinion.

Ok here comes Lazaro and he is singing *We Are the Champions*.  Now this is a ballad but hey...they were trying to give Lazaro a hell week so I'm glad he is bending or breaking the rules.  He actually does the song justice.  Ok, he's not Freddy Mercury but who is?  Sorry producers, Lazaro will not be going home tomorrow even if he did crack a joke about country people having no teeth and probably alienated the state of Tennessee if not every agricultural state in the union.  They weren't voting for him anyway. 

Amber, Janelle and Kree trio up to do Billy Joel's *Its Still Rock and Roll to Me*.  It wasn't a moment but it was fine.  Nicki hated it and she probably had a point.  It is kind of a simpy song but I'm not going to send the trio to hell for singing it. 

Candice comes out and I'm excited because she is actually singing The Rolling Stone's I Can't Get No Satisfaction...a real rock song.  She tells us up front she has a broken toe as a result of teaming up with Burnell to play a practical joke on Lazaro.  Like he needs to be bullied some more.  It really does serve her right and she is lucky she can confess now before she dies and goes straight to hell.  This performance disappoints me.  Its not just that she isn't moving around as much due to the broken toe...she isn't using her voice in extraordinary ways like she usually does.  Nicki said she fell asleep during the performance (or maybe it was the trio).  It wasn't that bad but it wasn't Candice's best and she might not get as many votes this week as she usually does.

Amber is up next.  Evidently, Amber is a bit vain these days due to the extreme makeover she has undergone this season in terms of her hair, makeup and wardrobe.  All of which is duly praised by everyone on the panel.  She sings what I consider to be a ballad too...*What About Love* by Heart.  Nicki wakes up but I fall asleep.  Yes, Amber's voice is good and she wasn't hell to listen to but she wasn't heaven either.  Maybe purgatory or limbo? 

And now, my moment of hell arrives on stage.  Angie with the polygamy hair.  For the last 4-5 weeks they have been telling her to get back to her piano so she does, as she sings one of the few songs popular in the last 15-20 years which I am familiar with and happen to love...*Wake Me Up* by Evanescence.  But she cannot stay there long because she cannot play the song on the piano.  Not to worry,  Angie lovers are treated to another dramatic performance complete with eye flirting, booty swaying, and the coup de grace...the fan blowing her polygamy hair all around.  I want to vomit in my shoes but it is my last good pair of house slippers and I may need them for a few more weeks as it is still a little cold here.  Randy, Mariah, and Nicki are all praising her but Keith hits the nail on the head...in a nice way...saying she needs to *feel the song* so she isn't worried about how she looks or how she stands.  In other words...quit being a fake! 

I was going to comment on all the cute little things the contestants had to say about each other but at this point, I'm sort of sick of them all.  A friend of mine, who also follows Idol, told me to turn into the Voice this week because she thought I would enjoy it more than Idol.  Since she has been bossing me around since I was 7, I did what she told me and she was right (she usually is).  The positive nature of the Voice format, the judges who like each other, the talent....all of it made me realize that Idol is going to hell in a hand basket and sadly, this may be the last year I watch it. 

You may wonder what the hell has happened to my language as I normally am not such a prolific hell user.  Since the powers that be on the Idol forum board banned me for using the word hell in a QUOTATION by a NOTED AUTHOR... and haven't seen fit to reinstate me or even respond to my emails to the account they instruct you to email if you have been banned...I have decided this is my blog and I'll do what I want to even if it means using the word  hell in every paragraph.  And I hope their servers crash and burn in hell. 

I can only suggest that you find The Voice this Monday and you will be happily surprised. 

  

   

Let Me Entertain You...by Zoanette Johnson

I know you have all missed the amazingness that is Zoanette so I am linking this to keep you happy until her single is released.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWfv05uhFcc&feature=player_embedded

All I can say is oh my lord...what fresh hell is this? 

Devin Takes The Bullet

Nothing surprising about tonight's results to me and probably not to you.  Devin was circling the bottom 3 for 3 weeks and I think tonight's elimination was his time.  His little comments about *saving* the other two guys after Nicki ripped them apart for their trio performance last night were not helpful with the voting public but the fact is that the bloom was off the rose after he sang Impossible the first time.  He never got that magic back and it was amazing to see how much better he is singing in Spanish than in English when he sang for his life tonight...all the emotion that was missing for the past 3 weeks was revived for one brief shining moment.  Don't know who the hold out was on saving him but I suspect it may have been Keith who reminded them how close Amber was to going home and that they may need to save her over the next 2 weeks.

Jimmy's comments were not that surprising to me except he loved Burnell and I thought Burnell had an off night.  I wasn't the only person who thought they heard him put an M on the end of *amour* last night but I was the only one who thought he sang like he had swallowed some helium.  Anyway, Jimmy says Angie has a problem and it needs to be fixed and I'm hoping that she ignores him.  

The live performances were surprisingly entertaining to me beginning with the group performance of Bob Seger's Old Time Rock and Roll.  I love Bob Seger and I don't know why more of these extras don't sing his songs...I think Phillips sang one last year...I thought he botched it...but other than that I don't recall anyone else covering Seger.  I wish someone had chosen one of his songs last night instead of three Stevie Wonder tunes.  

Colton Dixon, who was not even my favorite last year, reminded me how utterly weak the men are this year and that it had to have been done on purpose.  When they showed recaps of Colton's performances last year I was thinking...wow...he was GOOOD...but that is because I'm comparing him to Burnell, Lazaro, Devin, Curtis and Paul Jolley.  He seems super happy with the path his career is taking and that is great for him...seriously.  

So, Katharine McPhee comes back to be *featured* with One Republic and I think calling her role in tonight's performance a *feature* was a over-hype.  She was more like a backround singer.  I do not get those who think she is so beautiful.  I think she is plain as dirt.  I didn't watch her season but I gather she hasn't had a smooth career trajectory since then with the exception of her role on Smash...a show I watched about 5 times and then thought it was not good enough to waste my time with.  I think it may have been cancelled but since I don't care about it, I don't care.  According to the Vote For The Worst Guys (who loathe her) she is acting like she wasn't even part of that TV show now that it has failed and refuses to discuss her role in it with the press.  One thing I noticed was her haircut which is the latest fad called...and you will think I am lying given my blog title yesterday...the Chop.  I read about it in my hairdresser's issue of Vogue.  Some fashion designer chopped all his runway models' hair off for his show and now it is all the rage among the fashionista set.  I wanted my hairdresser to give me one but we settled for a few little layers instead once he gave me the eye and suggested I act my age.  So, she is plain but I liked her hair.  Don't tell Angie because she will copy it and that will tick me off. 

Keith Urban deserves to be married to a beautiful woman like Nicole Kidman but I'm not sure she  deserves to be married to him (but I give her credit for choosing him and running away like the wind from Tom Cruise and his Scientology cult).  I adore him.  The song he sang...not so much... but it was up tempo which we badly need this season from everyone. 

So, they are still not announcing the top 3.  They must have received some flack for it.  I like that Aretha sent a message to Kree.  

Also liked the Ford video with the kids although I think Angie looked like she was focusing more on the camera on her than the kid she was trying to help.  But she can do no right in my eyes.

No word on the theme for next week...surely they can come up with something a little new for this season.

Until then, keep Idol.

 



   

Chop Chop Chop

First, I have a confession to make and maybe to you all its obvious...I'm not that into this season of Idol.  Maybe its Nicki Minaj, maybe it was the Zoanetta farce, maybe I miss WGWG or maybe its because I've evidently been banned from the Idol forums and they will not respond to my emails and reinstate me as they have in years passed...and if I have been banned it was for a really stupid reason and they should be ashamed of themselves.  I will cry to you all about that in a moment. But maybe you are not that into Idol this season either which means I'm typing into outerspace here. 

As I'm getting myself situated to watch the show, with my pen and paper and non-alcoholic beverage next to me, I'm thinking...*even the themes are boring this year*.  Motown has been done as much as Lennon/McCartney and while I love Motown music, I'm ready for something new.  The show starts with a paean to Detroit, the Motor City, which obviously doesn't disclose that the city is in receivership due to decades of financial mismanagement and incompetent, if not corrupt, governance.  At least they didn't solicit donations. 



The judges come out 2 x 2, as usual, making it obvious that Mariah and Nicki still hate each other's guts and this irritates me.  Ryan appears.  Is it just me or has his break up with that Hough woman made him seem a little tense the past 2 weeks?  Ryan explains that the theme is not just Motown but any artist *from Detroit*.  Lets hope there is no Eminem.   The extras come out and I am pleased to see that Kree is in the pimp spot.  Candice is going first which will not diminish her star power and they give Lazaro the #2 death spot.

Ryan says he smells Mariah's perfume and she starts acting up brandishing something on a stick for some reason and she won't shut up and is still acting up as they lead into....

Smokey Robinson.    I like Smokey even though with all his bad face lifts, he is looking more and more like Joan Rivers everyday. He seems like a good guy with the extras so I'll cut him some slack. 

Candace starts with I Heard It Through the Grapevine by Marvin Gaye and Smokey makes sure she knows that his group originally recorded it.  Its another good uptempo song for Candice and she nails it as usual.  There is really nothing clever or unique to say about Candice.  I love her singing and I love her personality.  If she wins, I will not be sad.

Kree and Janelle do a duet of Madonna's Like A Prayer.  This explains the expanded theme and I'm thinking *WTF are they having country singers sing Madonna for?*  Well, they do just fine. I wouldn't rank this up there with the best ever duets sung on Idol, but it wasn't a fail and it very well could have been with that song choice and these singers. Nicki says Kree stole the show from Janelle, Randy agrees and  Mariah counters Nicki by commenting on the sisterhood between Janelle and Kree (is this a dig at Nicki for not being a sisterly co-star?) and having each other's backs.  Keith says he's not going to judge who sang better.  I'm just glad Angie wasn't there to spoil the stew. 

They announce that Lazaro is singing Stevie Wonder's *For Once In My Life* and my face does this *oh I'm so skeptical of that choice* twist.  Hardly anyone does Stevie Wonder justice on this show...I cannot think of one Stevie Wonder cover I have liked in all the seasons I've been watching but maybe you can.  Maybe I don't really like Stevie Wonder's music all that much.  Smokey tells him to sing songs he loves, Jimmy is sour faced but grudgingly complimentary at Lazaro's rehearsal sesson, and Lazaro comes out and gives it the best he can give.  Which is better than last week and enough to get him through this week.  There is a ton of Lazaro hate on the boards for getting the sympathy vote but all couched in very self-righteous passive aggressive tones like *well I admire him for his struggle* but *he wouldn't want you to vote out of sympathy*.  Tee70 responded that it was rather presumptous to act like you know what Lazaro wants and to think voters are only voting out of sympathy.  A couple of us said we were going to vote for Lazaro just to spite the Lazaro haters.  And I did vote for him 2x tonight.  There is a theory that the reason they did not announce the top 3 last week is because the 3rd person besides Kree, Candice, or Angie was Lazaro.  Its not unthinkable given the harsh treatment by Jimmy he has been receiving.  I didn't love his performance but it made me smile that he was doing better.

Janelle was perhaps the surprise of the night.  I love the Supremes and I love that song...which was a hit when I was a freshman in highschool and I thought some guy was playing with my heart.  She said she did the arrangement when she was 14 so this song must have a certain resonance with 14 year old girls.   I thought it was wonderful and that Keith's comment that she sang it with angst instead of the sort of half-anger poutiness of the original was spot on.  I think she will pick up some votes tonight. Nicki wasn't as impressed and I get the feeling she is in a pissy mood tonight...maybe Mariah's perfume was giving her a headache or maybe Mariah's grabbing some attention is getting her cranky. 

Ok, Devin is not on my even mediocre list anymore and I'm ready for him to go home.  Tracks of My Tears is of course a classic and he sang it woodenly and slow and made weird choices about where to sing his falshitto.  It wasn't horrible but I didn't think it was noticeably better than Lazaro's performance.  But that is not why I'm ready for him to go home. 

Ok...now we get Amber, Angie and Candice singing the Supreme's *I'm Gonna Make You Love Me*.  Candice looked like she really wanted to be anyplace but there and I don't blame her.  Angie wanted to flirt with the audience and did some *see how sexy I am* shoulder and butt moves  in her hot pants which looked fake and forced.  The performance was just ok and a waste of Candice's talent.  I cannot recall which judge commented or what they said.  I was full of disgust at Angie and not focusing.

With Burnell, I decided I'm in bizarro world.  He is dressed like the ice cream man in all white and is singing *My Cherie Amour* which is another Stevie Wonder song and to me a strange choice for him but he is from Louisiana and probably has some French blood in him somewhere up the line.  Smokey tells him to sing it softly and he says he will but then he doesn't.  His vaunted tone to me sounded like he was on helium tonight..squeaky and whiny.  And it sounded like he was singing *my sherreee amourm*  I swear there was an M on the end of some of those lines.  The judges were all over him with love and I thought it was a big clunker.  I DO like that he doesn't over melisma and over falshitto but to me something sounded very off about him tonight. 

Angie, the suck up that she is, is going to do *Shop Around* by Smokey and his Miracles because she wants to show her fun side.    She doesn't seem to realize that Smokey wrote the song as well as sung it but he subtly reminds her of this.  I sense a debacle when neither Smokey or Jimmy are really jumping for joy during her rehearsal.  Jimmy tells her its not *My Fair Lady* and we get another story from her about her vaunted high school theatrical career where she was in that musical along with a photo of her.  Yes...you and about 500,000 other young women who played Eliza Doolittle in high school productions.  So she starts and there are 2 or 3 band members that she is shaking her booty at while she sings and she does the Marilyn Monroe thing where she puts her hand over her breasts and this is just awful.  At one point she loses the diction (she had long ago lost the pitch) and she is singing *Chop Chop Chop* around and I'm thinking...oh honey...you just gave me my blog title.  I would like to chop you from this competition, chop your polygamy hair, and chop your ego back to reality.  The judges ARE back in reality and agree with me that it was not that good.  Nicki is particularly harsh on her, telling her we didn't need to see that side of her. (I personally don't want to see ANY side of Angie, any more.)  Mariah says she looks great (shades of Paula) and that she wanted her to sing another song at the piano.  Even Keith has a hard time saying anything positive.  I'm in heaven because the worm has turned somewhat on her and maybe they realize that her *undeniable talent* is pretty limited. 

Poor Amber.  I like her.  She has a wonderful voice and she seems like a great young woman who is not too full of herself.  She sings another Stevie Wonder song, *Lately* which I'm not familiar with (I told you I'm not a big Stevie Wonder fan) and the judges give her a Standing O.  I thought it was fine but I wasn't feeling it like they were. She needs the votes this week,  so I'm going to give the judges  a pass for this.  Mariah calls it a Tour de Force and then insults the room and the viewers by saying *does anyone know what that means?*  Mariah is on happy juice tonight or maybe has decided she is going to take the panel back from Nicki.  It is either her birthday or anniversary so maybe she's already been into the champagne.  Nicki is still harping on the pink lipstick.  The girl is not going to wear clown lipstick like you Nicki...she just isn't... and people would hate it if she did, so get over it. 

So..the boys come out and sing the Four Tops *Sugar Pie Honey Bunch*.  I thought it was ok, but evidently I wasn't paying close attention because Nicki tells them they sang like it was Hollywood Week and orders them to get off the stage.  Ok, Nicki, you have gone too bleeping far.  Even Simon didn't go that far.  (Mariah's high spirits must really be getting to Nicki).  Ryan gives them a chance to defend themselves and Burnell says he knew his part but he is not going to throw anyone under the bus (I think he just did).  Devin comes right out and says he was trying to save a couple of people and since there are only 2 guys on stage with him, I guess he means Burnell and Lazaro.  I'm not sure but at one point either during the performance or just after it,  Devin actually elbowed Lazaro and not in a brotherly way.  Lazaro says he didn't know the words very well.  I think Devin just sealed his fate.  He is gone gone gone and he should be.

Ok, the highlight of my night is coming on next.  Kree is singing Aretha's *Don't Play That Song* and Smokey is in love with her.  I think she did a great job...although sometimes I wish she would belt just a little bit more...Jimmy has told her not to oversing and she has never oversung so he needs to get off her back about that and let her go with her instincts.  I didn't know this song but I'm glad Kree got rave reviews from Smokey, Jimmy, and the judges (and probably Aretha when she hears it).

Nicki has more to say and I think it was a jab at Mariah because she tells Kree she is a Queen for standing next to a beautiful woman who can sing and not being intimidated or insecure and holding her own (as she has presumably done with Mariah).  Except Nicki won't stand next to Mariah and she is the one who has come across as insecure, needy and wholly unprofessional this season.  Mariah just jabbers a bit much.  I actually liked Mariah being a little rambunctious tonight because it took the spotlight off of Nicki.

Ok...here is why I think I was banned from the official American Idol  site's forum boards.  We can put a little signature line after our posts and I quoted one of my favorite authors, Dorothy Parker, whose famous line was *What fresh hell is this?*  I really thought that after some of the stuff we've heard this season on the program...Nicki's been bleeped more than once...Jimmy's been bleeped and tonight Mariah was bleeped...the word and its context was not that offensive but who knew?  

So...maybe they will let me back on...maybe not.  They have ignored 2 of my emails so far so that is not a good sign.  I'm thinking I need to start watching The Voice!