Hooray For Hollywood!

Well, maybe not so much. Ellen's debut was not particularly earth shattering. I have seen her interviewed about her new role and she is, I think, determined to be fair but compassionate with the contestants as opposed to Simon's *mean* style. I hope she can be a little bit funnier in the future.

So onto the contestants. First there was Katie, the 16-17 year old from Boston who sang well but predictably. Then that poor country girl. OMG what were they thinking even sending her to Hollywood and did they have to completely and totally humiliate her in front of America? It was bad enough that she stunk up the house singing a song I have never heard of (was there even one note on key?), we had to see that she comes from nowhere and says *aeroplane* and is just really really someone you want to grab away from the jackals before they tear her to bits.

Then comes the *genius* Andy Garcia who is obviously one of the favorites. The song was fine but fell short of *genius* to me. Plus, I think his sob story is lame. His family moved out of the barrio so he could have a better life. Well good for them but shouldn't we be happy about that instead of considering it something to feel sorry for him about? Well...I guess we can be sorry that his dad cries all the time. I'm beginning not to like him.

Some girl called Haley sang and she is also a favorite but for the life of me I cannot remember what she sang or sounded like. Then, Mary the rocker lady. I think she will crash and burn during the group numbers based on a preview I saw so I am not going to get too emotionally invested in her, even though I like rockers.

Lilly I liked. I hope she doesn't do a Megan Joy on me though. Nice to hear a jazzy singer but I think Simon is unimpressed because she is not *current* enough for him.

Then...big Mike. I'm glad he is a father, I'm glad he is striving for his family but I would be more than glad never to hear him sing again. I do not get the picture here except that he is affable and reminds them of Ruben Stoddard or Randy because he is a big black man.

The guy who sang the David Cook song may have some promise. The Casey guy who took off his shirt in the audition (Kara cannot control herself...I thought she was getting married...I hoped that would tone down her sexual harassment of contestants) sounded a little lame to me but maybe he will improve.

Didi, whose friend died four years ago and who sucked up to Kara by singing her song, is another favorite. She was not bad but I'm not sure I like her.

Then the gal who they call country pop....she is a young one too. I think she is terrible..off key and screechy but they love her.

Crystal, I liked, but as was pointed out by the guys at Vote For the Worst, she looked like she needed a shower.

So..my two favorites of the night were Crystal and Lilly. I thought the men were all a bit boring. I really wish they had played the whole performance of that Justin guy who they called a crooner....it looked like one of those over the top things that would have had you falling out of your chair laughing and he looked so pleased with himself when he finished too.

Well THATS Finally Over!

The producers of this show continue to mess with a winning formula. The auditions used to be the equivalent of getting your teeth cleaned. No one particularly enjoyed it but endured it as necessary. This season, by stacking all the audition shows with jokes and mediocrities until tonight...the LAST episode...the producers have made it into the equivalent of a colonscopy. I can honestly say I only watched the last couple of weeks so I could write this blog.

Things perked up a bit tonight as we actually saw some people who MIGHT be one of the top 24. I even found someone to profoundly dislike...the Tatiana clone...Amanda. Crystal was shown only briefly but I like anyone who sings Joplin. Also, I REALLY like that Lacey girl. I hope she doens't get thrown under the bus in Hollywood by being in some jerks group number.

We got the requisite sob stories of course. Didi, whose best friend died 3 years ago. PLEASE resist the tempation to do a Gokey on us with this. I don't want to hear Stand By Me come from your lips. Other than the sob story, she has a Meganesque quality in her voice and unfortunately, I thought I detected a little bit of that stupid Megan wobble in her performance.

The most fun contestant for me was Kimberly the girl who has a big heart. She cares about recycling and Africa. I suspect she voted for Obama too. I would have enjoyed listening to her inanities throughout the season but as big as her heart is....and as profound as thoughts are....she cannot sing.

Poor Shenee from Dallas whose mother had a dream. She was truly awful. At least she didn't sing Whitney.

Well....Hollywood week is next up! I HOPE we get some good performances! I am ready to see someone entertain us!

Stack Them Up In a Pile

All the candidates featured tonight are going to be fodder next week in Hollywood. I don't even have to look at the spoiler sites to figure this out. Victoria Beckham and Kara were voting people in because they looked good (yes Victoria we know you are no longer a musicial *artist* and are now a fashion *artist* but really...none of them looked that great and Simon was right about that 16 year old in the orange luau dress with the spray on tan...she looked like a pumpkin...or since she was thin...a carrot.) And Victoria, WTH with the unicorn hair? That is not an edgy look...it is a stupid look.

Seems like by this time last year I had developed a few favorites. I liked Adam Lambert's audition and thought Megan Joy showed promise (unfulfilled alas). I thought Lil might be really great too. This year, they all just seem so mediocre to me. Hopefully, they just did not show the ones who are going to really shine in Hollywood next week. I am anxious to see what Ellen adds to the party. I think she is incredibly funny as long as she is not getting political. I guess the good news is that I am not one bit attached to anyone and don't despise anyone (like Tatiana and Bikini Girl) so I will not be disappointed in any of the Hollywood results. But they better step up the entertainment value here...the sob stories are getting boring....I want to see some good performances and hear some good music!

You may have noticed, we changed the name of the blog. We hope you like it.

Tomorrow is supposed to be the very best of the auditions....maybe that will make more excited about this season.

Cry Me A River!

How many sob stories can they fit into 50 minutes? Four tonight. The guy with the two babies who came from the projects. The guy with Tourette's Syndrome. The girl who may be raising her little brother alone because her parents divorced and abandoned them for their new spouses (or maybe not...maybe she is just like any other person whose parents divorce). And the coup de grace...the cancer survivor! According to the spoiler websites...none of these make it into the final 24.

The only one who was remotely interesting tonight was Todrick. Who make up the song about idol. He is a semi-professional guy so will make it into the top 24 (I cheated and looked).

Tonights show was interesting only in comparison to the spectacle that followed it on every network in the world. Which I did not watch. If the man has shut up about himself after an hour of blather, I may go see what the pundits think of him. I seriously considered watching the man talk and enduring it by playing a drinking game and taking a drink everytime he said *I.* I suspect I would not be able to type this if I had.

Next week on idol, evidently some woman comes in buck nekkid to the audition in an effort to upstage both bikini girl and Kara. I don't think Victoria Beckham will be amused.

Right now, I am just waiting for these stupid audition shows to end.

Is This All LA Has to Offer?

Okay, I'm officially over the misfits. First up was the the guy with the IQ of 168 who was beyond annoying. After telling us how unique, special, brilliant, inspired, etc. he is about everything in the universe and possibly beyond, he is asked what he would title his album, should he win. *Hope*, he says. How completely and utterly banal. And, thank goodness his kind of hope died last week in Massachusetts.

Then there is the worship pastor who Kara and Avril don't think will have time to be a star. I thought he was ok but I don't think he is going to be in the top 24.

Then comes Damien singing that *other* Righteous Brothers song. Of couse he was atrocious and I wonder...did he fart at the end of it? Or did he just realize he stunk up the house figuratively?

Eighteen minutes into the show and we have not seen a woman audition yet, unless you count the random montages of those who *made it* or *didn't make it*. Finally, Mary (no last name given...I wonder why?) comes in and does a pretty good job. She will probaby crash and burn in Hollywood.

Then comes the Adam Lambert clone who is not Adam Lambert and doesn't make it.

Next day we get Katy Perry as a guest judge who I only heard of this past month. And a bunch more *bad* auditions. Andrew Garcia has a sob story. He grew up in the barrio. His father is crying. We know he will make it before he sings because they would never show his father crying unless he does make it.

Then there is sweet Tasha who is ok and makes it but I doubt she makes it through Hollywood week.

Finally, the big sob story of the night, the foster kid. I liked him actually but enjoyed Katy Perry telling Kara that his story didn't matter...it was whether or not he had talent. Katy Perry seemed to be pretty dismissive of all the judges. Thats ok, Katy, the time will come when you too will be a has been and will be thrilled to have a gig like judging American Idol. Or maybe she is already audtioning for Simon's seat next year. I bet he doesn't make it through Hollywood week either.

The good news is that AI is going back to the old format of a top 24 that we all vote on. No wild card etc. The bad news is that I have already seen the spoilers and know who is going to be in the top 24 pretty much. If you want to know ahead of time go to votefortheworst.com.

Also, it appears Ellen is not amused by Simon's diva work ethic and was pretty pissed off when he arrived 2 hours late for a Hollywood session after she had rearranged her own schedule to be there on time. Might be interesting to see how this plays out.

A New Season

Tonight was the first night I really paid attention to the show....sorry. Had family emergency last week and fell asleep last night and missed first 30 minutes.

And, it has occurred to me that readers from last year might not remember the format of our blog. Auntee (that would be me) types in Red and KK types in purple blue. Or she did last year...she may change her color this year! But I'm going to stick with the red because I like attention.

OK...my thoughts on the season thus far...a bit sedate from what I have seen. No bikini girl, no Tatiana. A lot of mediocre singers and a few horrible ones. The auditions are my least favorite part of the show anyway...and they seem even more tedious this year. Maybe I miss Paula or maybe the talent (even the joke talent) is just getting monotonous.

So far what I've seen is same old same old...the drag queen who is not talented; the sob stories (autistic son...almost died of anaphalactic shock...paralyzed face...although I suppose the ex-con was a new twist on the theme); the best friend/sister duos; and the psycho who won't leave and has to be taken out by security (I'm about 85% sure that was all phony baloney staged). Last night I was not impressed with anyone who performed and got through. Tonight I thought the autistic boy's father was good and seemed to be a decent guy but I doubt he is *cool* enough to make it through Hollywood week and I sincerely hope if he does he will not do a Gokey and sing songs making sure we know all about his son. Germaine was good too. Also, the Troubled ex-con was impressive but I'm thinking he is going to be the Michael Sarver of the season and will lose the judges praise pretty quickly.

NONE of the women they showed impressed me at all. I hope that there was someone I missed in the earlier shows or someone that they didn't show who has a decent voice. The Jersey girls? OMG....Hollywood fodder for sure! I liked Shelby's personality but man...she butchered Norah Jones (although that is a hard song), and the three they sandwiched in whose names they did not reveal all sounded terrible to me. Surely there are more talented women out there than we saw tonight?

Hope next week is the last audition week.

As for the judges...Simon needs to get in the game or go home. Kara is trying to be less of a bitch but she really lacks the ability to read people if she could not see that the pyscho tonight was psycho and needed to be handled more carefully (which supports my view that was all phony baloney staged drama using some out of work actor). In fact...the more I think about it, I am now 95.9% sure it was staged.

Oh well...on to next week!

BLOGGER AWOL!

Unfortunatey, I was unable to watch the program on Tuesday and missed all but the last 30 minutes on Wednesday. (Mr. Auntee does not think DVR is a reasonable expense for my TV). So, I can barely comment except to say that Simon appears to have mentallly checked out of the show contemplating his X Factor show next season (he physically checked out of several of the auditions on Wednesday...probably fielding important phone calls about X Factor or trying to find out what the most expensive watch in the world is). Kara seems to be more confident, but her *grooving* with the songs is a bit awkward...that is Paula's trademark, Kara, and you just look like a dork when you try it. Mary J Blige probably won't be making Idol judging her next career move (she looked bored to tears), but I'm happy Kara got to get her Mary J. Blige fix after barking at that poor contestant, Lil, last year to start singing like Mary J Blige. Randy seems to have new enthusiasm for his role, perhaps contemplating his is going to be the big *DAWG* when Simon leaves.

As for the contestants....well to be fair I didn't see many of them but I second Mary J Blige's opinion about the ones I did see, with the exception of the ineligible guy...Mr. *Pants on the Floor*. I hope he gains a bit of fame and attention for becoming a cultural warrior against *pants on the floor*.

Next week, barring unforeseen circumstances, Auntee will return with a more discerning commentary.