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Thursday, May 16, 2013

The Good, The Bad, the Indifferent, The Infuriating and Thank Goodness Its Over!

Congratulations to Candice Glover who deserved to win tonight.  Of course, Kree did too.  Couldn't be a wrong result with those two and while I wanted Kree to win, I will count Candice's win as #1 on the *good* things about tonight's show.  So ironic that with the Idol production melting down before our eyes all season, one of the good ones took the title.  Almost as if America was trying to save Idol in spite of itself.

Other *good* things about tonight's show, in as Ryan says *no particular order*:

The Band Perry with Janelle Arthur.  I had never heard of them but they are evidently a rising country group.  I thought Janelle was great with her dancing and moving along with the lead singer and I was very proud of her.  The song *Done* grew on me as the performance went on.  I did google them to find out more about them and...interesting fact...one of their hits is *Better Dig Two*, the song they gave Kree to sing as *producers choice* in the top three.  I'm wondering if there was some sort of deal between The Band Perry and Idol to feature their song and Kree was the victim.  It suits Janelle, did not suit Kree (and not only because she buried 2 in real life).

Top 5 Men sing a Medley of Four Seasons songs with Frankie Valli.  Hardly current fare, but I enjoyed it since I grew up on those songs and I especially loved watching Keith sing along with *I Love you Babeee*.  Not much featuring of the individual men finalists but really who cares.  If Lazaro screwed this one up it wasn't evident.

Candice and Jennifer Hudson singing *Inseparable*.  This was probably THE performance of the night.  I loved it, got a little teary and at that moment, if I didn't know it before, I knew Candice had won the title. 

Mariah in her mermaid dress.  This was taped beforehand and I'm thinking she may also have been lip syncing but it was good to see her perform a medley of her hits (which I have not followed) and well...I'm glad they featured her after the crap she has had to endure this season.

Keith and his new single...haven't we heard this before? I'm not sure this was a mind-blowing performance but he is so cute dammit...he could have stood there for 2 minutes and I would have enjoyed watching him.

Making fun of the judges.  Really, the only good thing about it was the last shot of Devin's padded butt as he mimicked Nicki but that is enough to get it up here in the good category. Nicki seemed like she wanted to appear amused but really was not.

Nicki hardly said a word.  In fact, I'm not sure she said anything at all!  Have the producers seen the light and put a zip on her lip or was she just pouting because Mariah, Keith, and Randy all performed tonight and she didn't?  Lets hope reports that she won't be back are accurate.     

The Bad

The Boys Were Sabotaged sequence.  I suppose it was somewhat humorous if not side-splitting but it was bad because it was true.  These 5 WERE sabotaged not by the girls, obviously, but by being put in the top 10 to begin with when better guys were eliminated to avoid having a white guy with guitar win this season.  I still think the guy with the titanium leg showed promise and he didn't even make it to Hollywood!  Who knows who they threw away to come up with the final line-up of men who had no sex appeal for straight women (or gay) and zero charisma for gay men. 

Jennifer Lopez.  Why do we need to see her and some rapper named Pit Bull sing a song about JLO?  I seriously hope this isn't a precursor to bringing her back to the panel.  Performance so autotuned you could literally hear the system working.  Also probably lip synced.

Psy(I?)  Ok, kimchee is not the worst product of South Korea anymore.  Psy, of whom I had heard before tonight, has been dubbed by MTV as the *viral star of 2012*.  Viral indeed and where is my vaccine?  He is supposedly sort of a joke but not really a joke but to me of course he is a joke and I'm ticked off that air time was wasted on him.  I would rather eat a pound of kimchee than see him and his *gangnam* crap.  I actually have never tasted kimchee but according to Mr. Auntee, who spent time in South Korea, it is vile.

Lazaro hogging the camera after Candice was crowned.  What was with him?  I'm thinking he's not as nice as he pretends to be.  Its not like they were particularly close, like Candice and Burnell.  He was EVERYWHERE the camera was. 

The Indifferent

Amber and Emili Sonde.  I like Emili but couldn't get into Amber even in her snakeskin pants which seemed to fit her funny in the crotch. She was just kinda all over the place in uncontrolled vocal gymnastics and not with the song really. 

Angie, Adam, and Jessie C.  More on this later.  Adam was good but I could have done without more Angie.  I hope someone in the UK likes her and she stays there never to be heard from again.

Tribute to Randy.  Ok, it was probably nicely done.  Goodbye Randy.

The Infuriating

Yes, everyone said that Candice was the runaway winner and I'm not saying she didn't deserve it but did Kree need to be treated like typhoid Mary tonight?  

Lets start with Aretha who may or may not have known the winner but who basically spilled the beans when she went on and on about Candice.  (I liked Aretha's performance but I was seething already at that point about short-changing Kree so I didn't enjoy it as much as I should have).

Then, Ryan introduces Angie and talks about her *shock* elimination which of course everyone knows means *she should have been in the finale instead of Kree* and then they proceed with the most infuriating part of the show to me which was giving her more time than Kree.
 I am  also pretty sure that Amber got more voice time than Kree and of course Angie...with 2 songs each of which seemed longer than Krees,  did.  Its almost as if they scripted the finale 4 weeks ago on the belief that their plan to shovel Kree off the show in 4th place would work.  Then, while it was nice to sing with Keith and have Randy play back up, the sound of the guitars drowned out both her voice and Keith's so you couldn't really enjoy the performance.  It was really more about Keith and Randy than Kree.  Why not give her a little more glory time?  She was robbed of face time tonight in favor of Angie and that pisses me off. Basically, we heard as much of Janelle as we did of Kree tonight.  I'm still livid about it frankly.

So...at last this season is over.  I have no idea if I will watch next season.   It depends on how stupid they are with the judges selection.  Keith has said he would love to come back and I think most viewers would be fine with that.

And, thanks for reading me this season.  Its been a hard slog for all of us I think.   



Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Power Up

I must say, it was so nice to turn on Idol tonight and know that I didn't have to see or hear from Miss Angie Perfect Apple Pie Polygamy Hair. According to the entertainment press (or at least the few writers who are bothering to write about Idol), hers was a big shocking elimination and she was destined to win this season.  I never really bought into that and obviously, America didn't either.

So, we have two very different singers performing tonight, each of whom is stellar in their own way.  I didn't take many notes but simply enjoyed the show.  In my mind it all depends on whether you are wowed by the power notes or appreciate subtlety.  I'm in the latter camp but you have to agree with Randy that Candice can sing.

I was hoping for an underdog upset but after seeing Dialidol.com, it looks more likely than not that Candice will win.  I have thought the past two or three weeks that Kree's support was greater than Idol producers wanted the audience to know and think it was highly likely she got the most votes last week.  But once Angie is gone, its hard to say where her votes will go.  Since Angie was a big power diva wanna bee I'm thinking that most of her fans will vote for Candice for that reason but perhaps even more because they think Kree edged Angie out of the finale...when in fact...I think it was Candice who edged Angie aside.

Be that as it may, I won't be upset with either result and that is a first for me for several years.  This season, which has been a travesty in so many ways actually ended tonight on a good note.  The judges were somewhat subdued although all but perhaps Keith, gave the night to Candice.  I think they tied on the last song, I give Kree the 2nd song, and Candice the first song (although really I'm with Randy that Fuller's song choices were lame for both contestants).

So...this is the 2nd to last post of the season...and maybe the 2nd to last post ever on this blog.  If they bring back Minaj or do something stupid like hire Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez or equally lame judge choices, I won't be watching next season.

Update:  Just read an article saying that Minaj will not be back next year and that *she was only going to do one season anyway*.  Yeah...right.  Just hope the article is accurate. 

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Up Your Nose Nigel Lythgoe!

As I seethed intermittently today over last night's show and the brazen insensitivity of making Kree sing about grave digging for her last chance to win votes, I realized I didn't have to watch this show any more any more and I didn't watch it tonight.  However, I had to go to MJ's website and see what happened and to my surprise (and evidently to the surprise of all of the judges who had been paid to get America to dump Kree) Angie was eliminated.  Fortunately, MJ's site also has clips of the crucial moments and I was able to see what happened when Angie's dreams didn't come true. 

Kree looked shocked, the judges looked shocked, Nicki was having some sort of sidebar with Keith (demanding a recount or plotting how to screw Kree in the finale?) and Angie cried her way through her swan song.

Was it the hometown video that swayed the voters?  Was it the blatant favoritism that made them vote hard for the underdog?  Did America just like the girl who hugs everyone and didn't act like a prima donna? Who knows.  The right two are in the finale and I don't care now how it ends because both deserve the title.

And, in the meantime, Idol is still tanking in the ratings and came in second to the voice among the key demographics Wednesday night.  Realizing they have a disaster on their hands and that their crown jewel is turning to coal, Fox reportedly is doing a total revamp and canning all 4 judges and Nigel for next season.  http://www.thewrap.com/tv/article/insider-american-idol-firing-all-four-judges-getting-massive-makeover-90256

Randy has reportedly already issued a statement that he won't be returning.  I would like to see Keith come back but I suspect that all the drama this season has made him want to hit the bottle again and that he will go back to Nashville, Nicole Kidman and his two little girls with relief that this nightmare is over.   Mariah will be fine.  Randy has made a bunch of money over the past years and he will be fine too.  As for Nicki, well, if Idol doesn't return, or if next season is its last, she will forever be remembered for tanking the show.  Which is in some ways unfair but in other ways not so much. 

And, I find some real joy in knowing that America ultimately didn't care about what boots or short shorts or leather pants and skirts people were wearing, what color their lipstick or eyeshadow was and whether or not they had lost weight.  It just voted for the singers it liked the most.  Yay for America. 

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

I Don't Like Angie Miller and I'm Not Kidding...and Nigel Lythgoe is an ASS

The Final Three performed tonight after a weekend of hometown festivities and it was pretty clear that Kree is the third wheel as far as the producers and Jimmy go.  They really didn't want her here this week and the song choices they made for her proved it.  This is just Idol's annual way of sabotaging the one they don't want to win and it should have come as no surprise that Kree got the shaft on song choices.  But more on that later.

Let us start with our clapping seal, Angie Miller. 

She went home to Beverly, Massachusetts, after a stop in Boston and we had to be reminded that she was Boston's great inspiration in the aftermath of the terrorist bombings...perhaps she even invented the term *Boston Strong*?  Well, no.  She lands clapping her hands and heads out the door with open arms to meet her public and  GASP  no one is there.  The limo goes down empty streets, she goes to a coffee shop where no one knows her but her friends and then we see her and her friends in a limo travelling on more empty Boston streets.  Finally she gets to Beverly and there is a crowd of maybe 100 people at her family's home and Angie greets her adoring public.  Clap clap clap some more.  Her brother, who they bring on stage with her to watch the hometown video, has grown a beard for the *play offs* (do you suppose he has been watching reruns of Duck Dynasty instead of Idol like most of America?).  Whatever, he looks like a dork.  The grade school is full of kids (aren't all grade schools...I mean of course they are happy they don't have to be in class) and the concert has a decent but not overwhelming crowd.  She plays the piano with one hand (I wonder if she even plays the piano or just hits a dead keyboard) and emotes all over the place and blessedly the video ends.

Jimmy has given her Elton John's *Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word* on the belief she will sit at the piano.  She doesn't want to learn the chords so she stands there and sings it and its ok but not a moment, particularly when she screams out some off key glory notes.  Her idea this week of *being in it to win it* appears to involve singing every note as loud as she can.  The judges and Jimmy, blinded by her teeth, and deafened by her clapping hands, praise her effusively.  Jimmy thinks she won the first round.

Her second song is an upbeat song and she prances around the stage somewhat.  I have heard this song but didn't write down the name of it because I really didn't care at the point.  She is given great praise for doing 2 songs without her piano.  More effusive praise.  I am so sick of Angie at this point I am near tears of frustration.

Finally, she sings Maybe at the piano and goes all out having eye sex with the camera, humping the piano stool, and screaming the notes at the top of her lungs.  Again, effusive praise for this fake girl.  Seriously, between her and and Nicki Minaj I don't want to watch this show any more any more. 

Candice goes home to Gullah country and you cannot help but be happy for her, her family, and her little community and all the genuine love surrounding them all.  She seemed genuinely humbled by all the hoopla as opposed to Angie who kept looking around for more praise and more people to idolize her. 

Jimmy's choice for her is U-2's One which I should know but I have never really followed U-2 or Mary J Blige who covered it.  It gives Candice an opportunity to show off her amazing voice and the judges like it but are not effusive. 

The judges choose Next To Me, a song I also did not know but I thought she did a great job with it.  I don't think it let her really soar, though so I'm wondering why they chose it...except to make the playing field with Angie more even.

One of the few criticism's (unjust) of Candice has been that she may be too old-fashioned and unable to make a record that would be marketable to current audiences.  So, the producers make sure she appeals to the young votes by having her sing *Somewhere* (!!!!!) as opposed to Angie's more current (by about 50 years) producer's choice.  Now this is what I love about Candice.  It is like she knew what their game was and she just flat knocked that song into outer space.  I loved it, and I love her and I hope she wins (because I don't think Kree has a chance).   At some point during the criticisms of Candice, Nicki has to comment about her self-confidence and what a role model she is for all women...subtext...*even though you are fat.*  Shut your piehole Nicki...your butt is not quite of Kardashian proportions but it is getting there and as for the rest of you....ugly is as ugly does.

And now for Kree.   Some people might have cringed at the focus of the homecoming on her dead parents but I'm grateful for all the sympathy votes she gets as this point because she is certainly not getting a fair shake from the judges or the producers or Jimmy.  After praising her for the first 2/3 of the season for her understated performances they turned on her and told her she was bland and lifeless.  They are all horrible.  

Since Kree is a country singer and of course the object is to choose a song that will showcase the contestants' strengths, Jimmy chooses a pop song by Pink, *Perfect*, for her to cover.  Keith cannot find anything good to say except that she is clearly a country singer, Randy and Mariah thought it left something on the table and so the producer's have accomplished their objective to make her look like the one who doesn't belong on the stage with the other two.  At least the judges acknowledged that Jimmy's song choice was not ideal.

The judges do appear to have given some thought to their song choice and she kills Rascal Flatt's *Here Comes Goodbye*.  Jimmy even has to give her the round.  As a side note, this song was co-written by American Idol alum, Chris Sligh. 

The producers, however, give her the equivalent of Janelle's *Dumb Blonde* to sing.  Yes, lets get something with a fast tempo but why this stupid song?  Its like the found the most unappealing  uptempo country song ever written and pulled it out for her to sing.  And, as another critic pointed out...what is with giving this woman, whose mother buried her father and then died herself...a song about a woman saying if they dig her husband's grave they better dig two?  (I admit...I didn't catch this myself but once it was mentioned you have to wonder).  That was just deliberately callous and designed to make her fail. At least the judges acknowledged the song choice was awful.  And, I will give Nicki credit for saying whoever chose that song should be stoned because I think SHE got the naked insensitivity of it.   I think Kree did about all you could do with that song which is NOT a vote-getter having no glory notes or even a good story behind it.  But that was the point.  Have her close out on a weak song that no one can relate to (and which, on second thought, makes her relive the worst time of her life) . 

So, it looks like next week will be Angie the Seal and Candice going for the title and this season cannot end soon enough for me.  I voted for Kree tonight, will not watch the finale unless she is in it, but I will vote for Candice next week. 

Evidently, the producers of Idol are trying to figure out *what went wrong* this season.  Let us start with the Nicki/Mariah debacle.  Nicki is more than polarizing...90% of regular viewers commenting on the show hate her. Throw in questionable choices like Zoanetta.  Add the elimination of any human with an ounce of testosterone in their system.  Mix it with erratic judging and over praise of certain contestants (Amber) and throwing others under the bus (Kree and Janelle).  Result, a disastrous season.  I would be surprised if the tour even sells 1/4 of its seats this season.  I suppose they will give it one more season.  I don't want Simon back...I don't want JLo back...I would take Steven back...but for goodness's sakes get rid of Nicki. 

In the meantime, I watched the Voice last night and I must say that all of the women competing in the top 12  could have been in the final three tonight and not been out of place.

Candice for the win, Kree for 2nd place, and how I wish Angie's brother would have to cut off that stupid beard!

And after this season of Nigel ruining Idol, I am seriously considering boycotting So You Think You Can Dance.    



Thursday, May 2, 2013

Not Forever, Amber

They  revamped her, they pimped her, they coddled her, they put her in short shorts and short skirts nearly every week,  they saved the save for her and they lied for her but all of that was not enough to get Amber (*Little Rihanna*) Holcomb into the final 3. So, she goes home in tears tonight as America finally says enough of Amber.  Now, in truth, I wish America had had enough of Angie but that wasn't going to happen to little Miss Angie Apple, even though, all told, she had the worst night of all of them last night.
I wasn't going to watch tonight but I'm glad I did because for once, I thoroughly enjoyed all three of the guest artists.  Always wonderful to see David Cook and while that song will need to grow on me a little bit, he is the same slightly offbeat but down to earth gentleman we fell in love with in Season 7.  He lives in Nashville now and I wanted to shove him and Kree together and make a new dynamic duo along the lines of George and Tammy, Johnny and June, Tim and Faith, and Blake and Miranda.

Is Will I Am a rapper?  My gosh I loved that performance!  He was doing real dancing!  He even tapped!  Of course, the 1920's to me is like the 1970's is to kids today and like the 1980s will be to KK's kids so I loved the 20's vibe to the song.  

And of course, Harry Connick, Jr., whom I would like to marry.  He doesn't seem nearly has high maintenance as Jimmy and hasn't sold his soul to the Idol devil (Nigel) to push mediocrity to the masses.  And I really think he doesn't like Angie very well.

Jimmy was not a fan of Angie Apple last night but had to preface his comments with praise for her over-rated performances last week (I really saw no big difference in the two weeks...same old Angie Apple posturing and polishing the audience with her faux flirtation and faux smile.)  He thought Amber's My Funny Valentine was extraordinary and I thought it was not but he acknowledged that her first song was not up to par.  He excused it because *she didn't have time to learn it*.  Funny...he wasn't letting Lazaro get away with that excuse and she certainly had as much time as anyone else and probably could have learned it if she wasn't practicing the overdone runs for My Funny Valentine all week.   I'm with Harry, the runs were stupid and ruined the song. Jimmy rightfully praised Candice....but had a hard time when it came to Kree and basically had to say *she could do more* (this is the man who told her not to oversing, remember?).  So, her two *good* performances got her in last place in Jimmy's eyes because Amber had My Funny Valentine, Candice was great, and Angie Apple was Angie the apple of America's eyes (and her own).

You know, I was feeling bad for Amber (not because she is better than the other 3...well she is better than Angie) but because she seems like such a sweet natural girl.  Then we see her comments about how she is so excited to walk the red carpet and be in movies and magazines and I'm thinking this girl is not in it for the music...she is in it for the perks and that turned me off.  Also...I think she used the phrase *give back* which I don't think meant she was going to head up a charity like David Cook and Crystal Bowersox.  I think she wants to give back by giving her glorious talent to the world and we should be grateful, dammit! 

So, Angie, Kree and Candice are going home to celebrate.  Candice's trip should be a hoot...I've spent some time in her neck of the woods...and I'm looking forward to seeing it televised.  Kree should get a good old fashioned Texas welcome.  I have no idea what Boston will do for Angie since Boston is a bit preoccupied at the moment and I don't plan to pay any attention to it.  I just hope she doesn't sully Fenway by singing the National Anthem, or god forbid, Sweet Caroline! 

On another note, I guess Nicki was tweeting trash about Mariah today since Mariah evidently made some comment which I didn't catch about *when you have a number one record* in their little spat last night.   Man...get rid of Nicki!!!

Update:  well.i.am....complete oblivious to today's music because I did not know will.i.am. is a member of the Black Eyed Peas ( I have heard of them...KK where are you when I need you?).  Also, from reading the other recaps of the show, I gather I was the only one in America who liked his performance!  Maybe I cut him a break because I just thought he was some rapper and was surprised he could dance?  Also, Harry Connick, Jr. is being panned by the critics.  OK, he is old fashioned and sort of sappy.  That's why I love him. 


Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Psychological Warfare

Were the judges and producers shamed by the reaction of nearly every TV critic to the travesty that was last week's show?  No, I think not.  I think they are just engaging in a bit of psycho war on the viewers. 

Tonight's theme is Then and Now.  Harry Connick, Jr., a big favorite of mine, is a mentor this week to help guide the group through the *then* songs.   The group comes out and for once you cannot tell the order of performance from the way they are standing.  Psych ops trick #1.

Angie sings first.  In her mentoring session on the hit song choice, Harry Connick says his family all loves her but he doesn't...something about her doesn't click with him.  She pretends to walk out.  She thinks he has a great sense of humor.  He probably does.  I'm not sure he was really kidding.  I'm thinking he really doesn't like her very much and was trying to convey a message to her self-entitled ass that she isn't the sun the moon and the stars that her high school yearbook editors told her she was.  Whoosh over Angie's polygamous hair head.    She is singing another Rihanna song, Diamonds, and...big surprise...playing the PIANO (such a talent she is...no other contestant has ever played the piano but her and if they did well they were not ANGIE).  The performance is typical Angie....coy looks at the camera (one commenter described her camera technique as *eye f...ing the camera*)...maniacal pounding of keys on the big notes... squirming and shoulder posturing to appear sexy...and in my opinion.... a vocal full of off-pitch notes. (I am not alone in this assessment...nearly every critic who actually has an ear for music has said she missed notes badly in this performance). She was really going for votes here.  The judges did not praise her which I'm sure shocked her hair extensions to the stitches..as she basically repeated the same performance she did last week with a different Rihanna song  and they considered  that the second coming of Adele. Ryan questions here and she goes into pageant girl mode...I swear she should run for Miss Massachusetts when this is over.  Nicki said *this wasn't like listening to Angie playing the piano in her room...you were performing to the camera*.  Angie has never played the piano like she wasn't trying to seduce every living thing in sight.  Oh well...

Amber, who was given one or two or maybe even three standing ovations last week for what were decent but not outstanding performances, is up next.  Keep in mind that Amber is *current* according to the judges...the most *current* of all of them.  So, she sings Pink's *Just Give Me a Reason* and it is one hot mess.  She hadn't learned the words in time for her mentoring session with Harry but he is kind to her about it.  She cannot really sing an up tempo song...or maybe she cannot really sing a current song.  The judges say it wasn't *stellar* but Keith and maybe Mariah are full of excuses for her.  (Its really hard to learn a song and perform in front of a live audience with TV cameras and stuff).  So Psy Ops #2...feel sorry for Amber folks.   Amber seems to know she wasn't that good even before they start judging.  You get her away from *current* artists like Celine Dion and Whitney Houston and the girl just falls apart.  

Candice comes out with a vengeance.  She's singing Bruno Mar's *When I Was Your Man* and she is out to shove last week's critique up some judge's heiny-holes.  This wasn't just smoke up the hole...this was fire in the hole and I hope those judges felt it.  Well...according to the critiques they did.  I admit that at one point, I got tears in my eyes.  I had not had any wine either.  Her voice just made me cry.  The judges gave her lots of praise...probably because they really didn't want her to be in the bottom 2 and realize they almost messed up last week.  Nicki says Candice took her advice and so within a week has magically transformed into a *now artist*.  Nicki also asks her if she has lost weight which reveals what is REALLY bugging the producers here. 

Kree is very gracious about the totally unfair critiques she got last week and said she was going to try to connect with the audience this week.  She is singing the new Carrie Underwood single *See You Again.*  Harry loves Kree.  Kree sits on the stool with a guitar guy next to her and pours her heart into this one...and I start bawling because I realize that she is not singing about some guy she will see again but her dead parents.  She almost loses it at one point.  Keith...who is beginning to get on my shit list...criticizes her for not standing up and moving around (even though every time she does they tell her to stop trying to perform and just sing the song...Psy Ops#3).  The other three judges give her rave reviews but since Keith is the country guy...will the audience just remember his? Do you suppose the judges  drew straws before the show to determine who was going to have to follow Nigel's dictum that Kree be elimated and Keith drew the short straw?  Something is going on there.  Harry is backstage and I think doing a slow burn at Keith's remarks and he comes out and basically gives his *best performance of the night so far* blessing to Kree.  Psy Ops #4.

So its time for the *Then* songs:

Harry says once again that he doesn't like Angie.  He thinks she is mean.  I'm beginning to think he really hates her even though its all posited as a joke.  Or maybe I just cannot fathom someone as cool as Harry Connick, Jr. thinking Angie is anything but an averagely pleasant singer.  Angie sings *Someone to Watch Over Me*.  When Alison Arehata sang this song, I bawled like a baby.  Angie left me cold despite her ball gown and visible boobs.  I do remember thinking while watching it that she didn't give off one bit of a vulnerable vibe during that performance...in fact...I was thinking whoever is dumb enough to hook up with her is going to need someone to watch over HIM because she will eat him alive.  She puts all sorts of runs and frills on the end because she cannot resist the glory notes.  The judges say this was better than her first performance but are not effusive.  I'm betting Harry really is hating her for screwing with the melody.  At this point Nicki and Mariah get into a fight just to be fighting about something but I think Mariah got the best of it by saying that *as a singer* she knows what she is talking about!  Take that Nicki rap talker!

Amber reprises *My Funny Valentine* and completely ignores Harry's advice and adds even more runs and trills and high notes where low notes should be than she did in her first peformance.  Well, its time of Psy Ops #5 because she gets a standing ovation.  In addition, we get another *poor Amber...its so hard being you* critique.  Amber starts crying...this is getting ridiculous.   

The only thing about the critique given to Kree that I thought was remotely valid was that she should have chosen a different song.  That said, I thought her version of Stormy Weather was great...even if she too couldn't resist mucking with the melody too much.  The judges aren't impressed at all...praising her flawless vocals almost as an afterthought.  (Early in the show Randy was saying its all about singing...now its not so much...  Psy Ops #6).  The judges use this opportunity to bash Harry's mentoring and he is not having it and he and Randy get into it.  I'm with Harry....don't mess with the standards. I am really sick of all the melisma and glory runs being done on these vocal talent shows.  I know the audience eats it up but what do they know?  These old standards are all about phrasing...a concept completely alien to young singers today.

So...I turned off the TV at that point.  I didn't see the last group number....did they say everyone but Kree was wonderful?  

I'm not sure I will watch the results show tomorrow...

I'm thinking that Amber should go home.  I suspect she will but I may be wrong.   


Monday, April 29, 2013

Judges For Sale?

I told you I was not alone in my disgust with last week's performance show and the judges trashing of Kree and Candice in favor of the skinny young girls. Here is a great video clip of Slezak and Melinda Doolittle judging the judges:  http://tvline.com/2013/04/29/idology-american-idol-season-12-amber-angie-candice-kree-biased-judges/

We will see if they reverse course this week after their blatant attempt to push Kree out of the contest failed with the audiences and may result in Candice going home.  I swear if that brat Angie wins this season, it is my last.  The word is that she is hauling in the votes ala Scotty McCreery way ahead of the others but I don't know how anyone can know that.  PFFFT! 

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Actions Have Consequences

I confess, I didn't watch the show tonight.  Instead I played video games and read the live blog by MJ, who seems to share my aversion for Angie but is not quite so vocal about it.  MJ seemed to get a kick out of Angie thinking for a moment that Jessie C, who tweeted her, was actually there in person.  That is the only moment I read about that I wish I had actually seen!  She really has an insufferably huge ego! 

So, I missed nothing much I gather.  Everyone is safe.  However, the producers and judges may want to reconsider their pimping approach as the designated dud, Kree, was in the top 2 with their darling Angie and either Candice or Amber was in last place.  So they will combine votes from tonight and next week?  I'm thinking Kree got a bunch of Janelle's votes.   Good for her! 

Bad news that Angie is in top 2 but it was to be expected after the tongue bath they gave her last night.   Bad news that Candice is in the bottom 2.  I'm wondering if the audience is sick of Amber being pushed down their throat. 

I'm also wondering if Angie and Amber are getting extra coaching from the production staff.

But as for consequences....the bad choices made by Idol producers....and I am talking to you Nigel Lythgoe...have resulted in Duck Dynasty getting higher ratings Wednesday night than Idol did in the important 18-49 demographic.  http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/tv-ratings-duck-dynasty-tops-446567.

I have never seen Duck Dynasty...but evidently its quite the rage.  A family of good old boy  Cajuns have a business making duck calls and this is the story of their lives.  I may need to check it out and it might replace Idol in my weekly schedule.

I guess Nicki sounding like a duck call just doesn't cut it when audiences can watch the real thing.

I was SO not alone in my assessment of last night's show.  Every commentator I have read (ok...only about 4 others) has remarked that the pimping of Amber was insufferable and the treatment of Candice and Kree unfair.  And every commentator I've read thinks the show is on its very last legs.   


Wednesday, April 24, 2013

I'm Crying A River

I have a horrible sense of foreboding that for the THIRD year in a row, the contestant I like the least is going to be in the finale.  According to the judges, tonight was Angie's night and I suppose someone more objective than I would concur that she had a very good night. 

The themes were contestants'  choice and one hit wonders (very loosely interpreted).  Before the show there was an article in TV Guide suggesting that the judges were pushing Amber because she seems very marketable and based on the judges comments, the third theme tonight was who is the most marketable.  The voice doesn't matter at all anymore...its all about styling...emotion...charisma...star power. Me thinks they do protest too much.  The Voice (a show premised on the theory that the voice is all that matters) is trouncing Idol in the ratings.  Heck, even reruns of The Big Bang Theory are trouncing Idol in the ratings.  Seriously...its true.

I'm not going to go performance by performance.  After Amber performed her first song (which she did well and did look beautiful doing so) and was praised profusely, I wrote in my notes:  *they are going to trash Kree tonight*.  Candice took a risk with the Drake song and they were a bit lukewarm about it.  Then poor Kree does her blues thing and they decide to hate it.  I really don't know why because I thought it was as good as Candice's song.  Nicki basically yells at Kree and tells her it was no good (or at least I think thats what she said as half of her last comment was bleeped).  Angie plays the piano and we have a collective celebration of Angie.  

They do duets, and Kree is shoved aside again as they praise Amber's new found confidence.  Nicki talks about how divas should perform together and Ryan does some nonsense between Nicki and Mariah which just highlights how horrible this season is.  Candice and Angie evidently know how to sing a duet right.  

The one hit wonders were interesting.  My hope that disco died with Donna Summers was dashed when Amber does MacArthur Park disco style like Donna Summers did.   How this song is a one hit wonder I do not know because it was covered by about everyone back in the day including Anthony Newley who was indeed a one hit wonder.  The BeeGee's were hardly one hit wonders but maybe the original artist was...anyway Emotion is a song that was played to death during disco fever.  I thought Amber lost complete control of MacArthur Park and was horribly off pitch on the glory notes and that Candice was ok but not remarkable.  Kree does Whiter Shade of Pale which maybe was a one hit thing for Percy Sledge?  I don't know and the judges like it slightly better than her first song but Nicki talks about her going home tomorrow which really does suggest that this whole season is one big rigged fraud.  And Cry Me A River?  Hardly a one hit wonder except for the one person they said sang it along with about every other unknown who sang it.  By that criteria, *My Heart Will Go On* is a one hit wonder because I'm sure some obscure artist somewhere covered it on some CD which sold 45 copies.  When I think of one hit wonders I think *My Boy Lollipop*. 

Ok, Angie is the star tonight.  Kree will be up for the save which they may or may not use.

The hospital scenes were inspiring but I couldn't help but notice that when Angie and Amber entered that one hospital room, Angie jumped in like *surprise here I am...I know you will be thrilled to see me* and Amber walked in like a regular person.  Angie also fell in love with Morrison because *he recognized ME ME ME* while Candice introduced herself to the one little boy very humbly and Kree was asking questions of the staff about the programs and patients.   I really do not like Angie. 

I must say however, that I'm not just subjective about Angie, I have really been dismayed at this season and Idol's downfall and can no longer be objective about the show.  Last night, I got my days mixed up and thought it was Wednesday and sat down with my pen and pad with dread and foreboding because I had to watch the show.  Then I realized it was NOT Wednesday and that I could watch The Voice instead.  Which I did and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  

I'm sorry Idol...when you have lost me, you've lost America...so many friends and relatives have abandoned the show over the past two years and I hung in there hoping for a magic season with contestants like David Cook, Jason Castro, Adam Lambert, Haley Reinhardt, Crystal Bowersox, or Melinda Doolittle.  Not to mention Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood and Jennifer Hudson.  Instead we get Lazaro and Zoanetta.

I doubt I will watch tomorrow's show until the very end.  As I understand it they are showcasing Lee DeWyze. You know they are depressed in Idol land if they are bringing back a guy whose face they have never even posted on the backround montage on the show's opening as an Idol winner and whom they didn't bring back to perform the season after he won!  Maybe he will sing Hallelujah and make my week complete!

Update:  After googling Whiter Shade of Pale I discovered it was originally released by Procol Harem, a British band, in the late 60s and was something of an anthem for The Summer of Love (1967).  It appears Percy Sledge covered the song.  I should have known that.  But as the song was named, along with Bohemian Rhapsody, as one of the best songs by British songwriters for a certain time period....I would not call it a *one hit wonder* either.  But glad Kree got to sing it as its a song I like which I'm not sure I have ever heard on Idol. 

Update 2:  I am seriously slipping in my analysis and a reading of another blog slapped me right in the face with the  obvious!  It was apparent from the beginning when you saw the order of performance.  They were going to push Amber and Angie down our throats no matter what.  (You know...I don't think Kree has EVER had the pimp spot this whole season).  They want a young, thin, idol this year.  Plump ladies need not apply.  So...when Amber does a Celine Dion song...she is called *current*.  When Candice does a Drake song...I don't know him but I gather he is much more current than Celine since Celine isn't known for her hip hop...she is called *old fashioned*.  Angie's theatrics, which were criticized as phony 4 weeks ago, were just great tonight but Kree's restraint, praised all season and encouraged by Jimmy, was *not worthy of a top 4 performance*. 

Ack...they want Rihanna....they want....hmmm...who is Angie....cannot think of anyone current she is like except for the contestants in the Miss America pageant and just like a typical New England pageant queen she is sorta homely and horsey looking with those big teeth. They all play the piano too! 

We see this season after season.  They decide that the best talent isn't marketable enough so they turn on them.  Thus lets push that insipid Lauren Alaina over Haley and James Durbin.  Lets push that paint salesman over Crystal. 

If its an Angie/Amber finale...I won't be watching again but will probably put in some votes for Amber since I don't hate her.  She is just so lame compared to Candice and Kree. 

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Nicki Minaj Says She's Carrying Idol

According to this article: http://www.kiss925.com/2013/04/20/is-nicki-minaj-to-blame-for-poor-american-idol-ratings/,  Ms. Minaj thinks she is the one carrying the show this season.  Sources quote her trashing her fellow judges and blaming them for the shows low ratings.  This was posted on Facebook for the world to comment on and you can see for yourself that the commenters are running about 20 to 1 against Nicki. 

In fairness to Nicki, 4 judges is 1 judge too many and 1 diva and 1 diva wanna bee are 1 diva wanna bees too many.  The fact that Idol keeps changing its format regarding the top 10...top 20...each year, the save that will never die, and the farce of contestant selection (Zoanetta anyone?) had to turn viewers off too.  Also in fairness to Nicki, she is often on point in her critiques but putting up with the rest of her nonsense hardly makes the occasional gem worth sifting through the fecal matter that has become her shtick!  And, as with Zoanetta, she if often profoundly wrong!  I swear that Zoanetta fiasco nearly turned me off the show and I bet it did a lot of other people...no matter how nice a person Zoanetta ultimately seemed to be...her talent was non-existent.  

So there is blame to pass around...but Ms Minaj gets more than her fair share of it.  Ultimately, the person whose bright idea it was to add her to the mix should be fired...but it might not matter.  If Idol keeps going the way it has so far, I think that person will be looking for other employment anyway.

Update:  A source is reporting that the Idol producers wanted to fire MARIAH and bring back JLo for the rest of the season in order to boost plummeting ratings.  OMG.  These people are nuts.  Do they not READ what the audience is saying about Minaj?  They are so out of touch with the viewers that the show deserves to die. 


Thursday, April 18, 2013

Save Idol

What a strange show tonight. Its like TPTB realize the end is nigh and want to relive the glory days but then they do something stupid like have the women sing a Donna Summer medley and you think...they just don't care anymore.  So, why should we?

I know Donna Summer's recently died but her music was dead 30 years ago and no one has been clamoring for Disco revival.  So they put them out there prancing around (and singing in a key way too low for Janelle and Kree..hmmm) looking like fools.  And they top it off with a stupid Fiesta mission to go find the star of Glee and its clear that while these girls can sing...none of them can act because hearing them mechanically say the lines from the script they were given as they searched for the clues was painful.  Arrg

So, they are bringing them on one by one to see the recap and hear Jimmy's advice and I can hardly stand to watch Angie.  I would report on what Jimmy said but nobody cares what he thinks anymore so lets put him out to pasture too.

Paula Abdul surprises Candice and that is a nice touch and I want to have all the judges from every season up for an audience vote and the top 3 vote getters are made the judges next season.  I'm pretty sure Paula would be in that top 3 and Nicki Menaj would have to sing for the save and 90% of the viewers would not vote to save her. Randy would be gone and Steven Tyler would be in his place.  I'm assuming Simon would make a mad dash back to Idol since X Factor is such a bust but I would vote for Keith instead.  Yay for The Voice!

I didn't watch season 2 when Clay and Ruben had their duel for the top spot but have read over the years on the Forum that die hard Aiken fans are still convinced there was some sort of technological glitch (accidental or on purpose) which prevented him from winning.  He is singing his iconic BOTW tonight and I cannot help but wondering if its done to show Lazaro fans how the song should be sung.  But, I'm not into Clay's version either.  His voice is great but all the melisma and vibrato and runs are making me crazy.  However, I guess I know who started that fad that so many Idol hopefuls have imitated.  Just sing the damn song, Clay.

Her comes Fantasia.  I did not see her season either but cannot imagine how Minnie Mouse beat Jennifer Hudson.   All I can remember about Fantasia is everyone raving about her Summertime performance which I watched on Youtube to see what all the fuss was about.  It was ok, but hardly earth shattering.  There was an article a few years ago in People magazine about her being down to her last $3 and she couldn't afford to pay off the pizza delivery man.  Evidently she squandered what little money she made after Idol on family, friends, and junk.  Her song is making me tense.  Looks like its making Nicki tense too. Fantasia has been taking acting lessons because she emotes the heck out of the song...trembling lip....bug eyes and all.  I suspect she is not as desperate for the man as she is for the bucks and I suppose being down to your last $3 would make my lip quiver if I was trying to make a comeback too. 

Ok..here come  the results and I was sad to see Kree in the bottom 2 and Angie in the top 3.  But good for Amber to get out of the bottom 2 and some confidence.  They are still using the save....when will it end?  Will they save the one who is sent home after the finale?  What a crock!  Of course, they don't want Janelle there anymore and she is going home and as my friend the boss said...they will really start pushing the favorites now.  Actually, that may not be a bad thing because I think they love Amber more than Angie and maybe love Kree more than Angie too. Candice is their chosen one so I hope she is not the psycho girl Lazaro talked about.  

But...they will probably use the save next week.  They have an extra week of production if they do not use it. 

I have no idea what bad theme they will take on next week.  At least they are done with poor dead Donna Summers and we can be thankful for that. 

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

I'll Stand For You or Is It Hunger Games by Angie Miller

Standing Ovations all around tonight...except for poor Janelle...who is clearly the one targeted to go home next by the powers that be. As my interim post disclosed, the powers that be are finally acknowledging there is something wrong with this season and blaming it on lack of judicial *chemistry*.  Evidently there is also some lack of contestant chemistry as this is the first season I can recall when contestants are taking pot shots at each other.  There was a bit of a twitter scandal when Burnell was eliminated (Angie's twitters *liking* or agreeing with some which trash edLazaro and praised Burnell.)  Now Lazaro is speaking up about a *craaazy* girl contestant who *treats this like the hunger games*.  He doesn't mention names but his sister has been tweeting some less than nice comments about Angie so you put the pieces together.  http://www.mjsbigblog.com/lazaro-arbos-one-of-the-remaining-girls-is-crazy-and-thinks-shes-in-the-hunger-games-poll.htm.   See also http://www.votefortheworst.com/.  The money is on Angie Miller being the psycho  and I'll follow that money to the bank.  But you cannot help but wonder if the judges infighting has contaminated the contestants somewhat.  Nope, I don't think so.  Of course, others have speculated that it could be Candice since she and Burnell were so close and Burnell feels cheated by Lazaro's higher finish. Evidently Lazaro follows everyone on twitter except for Candice and Candice did join in that practical joke on Lazaro.  Hmmm....I think Candice is too sure of herself to be playing cutthroat games.  

Once again, a feeling of dread came over me as I realized it was Wednesday night and that I *had* to watch Idol.  Now I know I don't have to do anything of the sort but I've committed to finishing out this year's blog and I don't want to be a quitter even if everyone else has quit watching the show and reading here.  The themes this week are *songs from the year you were born* and *songs from Divas*.  Was this the producers way of getting under Nicki's skin because there is no way she is a diva and here sits Mariah who is having 2 of her songs performed tonight?  Maybe.
Ryan comes out after the judges and the crowd seems more insanely loud than usual.  He has to quiet them down so he can acknowledge the terrorist attack in Boston and send condolences.  It was a weird juxtoposition of Hollywood hype and reality. 

Candice starts first and sings a song from 1989 *Straight Up* by Paula Abdul.  I have never heard this song and have no idea why she chose it but we later learn Janelle helped her pick it out.  I think she does a nice job but I'm not in love with the song...although I probably would have liked it a lot less when Paula sang it.   The judges loved it but did not stand up.  Nicki took a little swipe at the judges from last season who failed to put Candice through...take that you producers who are messing with me by flaunting Mariah's diva hood!  Jimmy is not that impressed but I think he just wants Candice to do big ballads and *oversing*. 

Janelle sings the song that calmed her when she was a baby, Vince Gill's *When I call Your Name*.  She gives it the pure country treatment.  Everyone liked it except for Keith who *didn't feel it*.  Mariah said it brought tears to her eyes.  (I missed the announcement of the year she was born as I had switched over to check out an episode of *Hoarders Buried Alive* and got caught up in the moment there...seriously).  Nicki suggests she might be going home this week (or maybe that was on the next song).  Anyway, its pretty clear she is next on TPTB's radar to go home but I felt the song even if Keith didn't.

Kree was born in 1990.  This seems impossible because it was just 1990 a year or two ago.  She sings *She Talks To Angels* and Randy and Nicki loved it.  Mariah seemed to think Kree was *performing* too much and Keith thought she looked a bit awkward.  Then Nicki and Mariah go back and forth about whether they agree with each other or not which was a waste of our time. I thought Kree did a nice job but I wanted something more.  Jimmy agrees with me. 

So, here comes Angie, at her piano as I had predicted.  She is from Boston so dedicates her performance to the people of her hometown.  This is a nice touch and maybe it was actually somewhat sincere, because surely she wouldn't use a tragedy to get votes...would she? Well not unless she thinks this is the Hunger Games  She sings *I'll Stand By You* by The Pretenders from 1994 and writhes and grimaces as she plays.  It would be completely heartless of me to say that I did not feel some emotion as she sang.  I did but I am attributing it to the song and not her performance. The judges of course cannot hate the performance since it was allegedly about Boston and they all tell her how wonderful it was that she dedicated it to Boston and how she is great when she sings at the piano.  Nicki, however, also comments that it was *smart* of her to dedicate the song.  I think Nicki sees through her.  Ryan adds a little statement that the contestants *all like each other*.  That he says it standing next to Angie Miller is further proof to me that she is the psycho contestant according to Lazaro and everyone knows it.  

Amber takes on Mariah's cover of Harry Nillson's *Without You*.  I had not heard Mariah's version.  I am only familiar with Harry Nillson's version which I believe was on his album *Nillson in the Night*...which I had lo those many years ago.  Nicki throws Mariah some props saying it wasn't as good as Mariah's performance and complains about Amber *feeling it* in the low parts of the song.  I thought Amber did great. 

So...now part 2 and I am getting more than a little bored already.

Its Diva time and Candice chooses to tackle Mariah AND Whitney with *When You Believe*.  I had to look up the movie this song was featured in... it was Prince of Egypt in 1999.  Its almost as if Candice was saying to Angie...take that you little phony....this is how an inspirational song is sung. It occurs to me that this is a much better song to inspire people after a terrorist attack than Angie singing about herself standing by someone so that  Angie is the star of the song.  Once again, Candice shows who is boss and while I would love for Kree to win, I have to honestly admit that Candice is marginally ahead of her. All of the judges stand up for Candice which gave me much pleasure as only 3 stood up for Angie.  Nicki tells us how this song inspired her when she was *little*...complimenting Mariah and at the same time dissing her about her age. 

Janelle, who idolizes Dolly Parton, proves she is not as smart as Dolly by singing *Dumb Blonde*.  It was a cute fun performance but not a showstopper and Keith echoes my thoughts when he says *of all the songs in Dolly's songbook, I don't think this one was one of her standouts*.  Janelle needed another tearjerker tonight and I would almost have put up with *And I Will Always Love Youuuuuu* if she had sung it like Dolly wrote it and not like Whitney sang it.  Oh well.  I suspect Janelle will be going home tomorrow.

I would have never guess that Kree was a Celine Dion fan (I am not particularly but I think its because I heard that Titanic song too much and I hated the movie).  I am so not a Celine Dion fan that I didn't write down the name of the song and only can remember it was about If You Are in Love...or something.  Kree looks amazing in her little black dress and does a wonderful job with the song.  It doesn't sound like Celine at all which as far as I'm concerned is a good thing.  The judges loved it and at least 2 or 3 stood up.

Oh crap...here comes Angie talking about how singing this Beyonce song is such a huge risk for her and how she wants to bring passion to it blah blahde blah.  She comes out and sings *Halo*...a song I don't know because I don't give a hoot about Beyonce...which appears to be a  tender love song.  Angie decides that since Beyonce is fierce she is going to pretend to be angry and tough and I think overacts it to death and what her angry gestures and fierce faces have to do with a tender love song, I have no idea...save it for the dorm Angie.  The judges lap it up and stand up.  Crap. So will America. 

Amber takes on Barbra Streisand (take that Angie and stupid Beyonce) and does *What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life*.  She gets a full standing O as well.  As this song is so retro, I'm not sure the audience is going to appreciate her performance.  I would not call it perfect but it was darn good and more heartfelt than Angie's antics. 

There is some speculation that the *save* is still in play, even though normally it is not used when only 5 are left.  I'm hoping its not in play as this season cannot end soon enough for me.  If the save is in play we will get to see all 5 perform again next week.  I may have to start drinking again. 


Its Not Just Me!

It appears I'm not the only viewer who is dissatisfied with Idol this season but I may be one of the few who is still watching! Following is a link to an article in which Nigel Lythgoe, Idol super producer, blames the much lower ratings this season on the lack of chemistry among the judges.  Then goes on to disavow all responsibility for choosing the judges...blaming it on *Fox*.  Yeah, right. 

The article further states that The Voice is now beating Idol in the ratings and after watching The Voice for the past few weeks, I see why.  And, while Nigel is careful not to blame any one judge for the lack of *chemistry*, the viewers who have commented on the article are not so cautious...Nicki Menaj is the Lazaro of the judges...without the sympathy vote.  The viewers want her gone gone gone. 


Thursday, April 11, 2013

Shall We Demand A Recount?

No...Lazaro is finally gone and its about 2 weeks overdue, but I cannot help but wondering about the integrity of this result since he was in the top 3 last week.  Perhaps this season just has very fickle voters or perhaps his sympathy voters just couldn't bring themselves to dial or sign in last night after his very dismal performances.  So..the Lazaro era has ended. 

The show tonight started with Ryan pairing the groups off, an exercise which just wastes the too many minutes they have to fill on Thursday night.  The group performs a medley of Bacharach/David songs and each one gets a moment to shine.  Lazaro sings *This Guy* way off key and messes up the lyrics...not a good portent for the night.  Maybe I'm just seeing things but it looked like the ladies were giving him a wide berth as if they didn't want to catch whatever he has that has made him become even more terrible than he was to begin with.  They all end singing *Thats What Friends Are For* and I'm thinking Angie would like to stab them all in the back or trip them up on stage.  Maybe she really is a sweetheart and not the calculating selfish diva but I don't think so.

We have a rare Ford commercial where they all play Fiesta soccer.  I'm sorry but I just burst out laughing (and still chuckle) when I see that when Lazaro is driving to make the decisive score the announcer says *oh nooo...he's booted it into the stands*.  Story of his week. 

Nice to see Scotty again although I thought the song was a little weak and having not really followed Kelley Clarkson, it was nice to see and hear her again but whoever did the glitter on her eyelids should be shot because it made her look like a scary kewpie doll. Mariah and Kelley have a little moment where Kelley is star struck and I actually believe she really is.  Unlike some who experience sudden fame, Kelley has really kept her head about her.  No Lindsay Lohan moments for her.  Admirable.

Ok, now they have them paired 2x2 and no surprise (but still a relief) that Candice and Kree are in the top 2.  I was sort of hoping that Angie and Janelle were in the bottom 2 (they would have used the save for either of them at this point since Lazaro was still there) so that Angie could get a dose of humility) but not at the expense of enduring Lazaro fail another week.  I feel bad for Amber because I think she is so much more talented and a far nicer (less self-entitled) person than Angie but for some reason the viewers aren't loving her.  But Burnell evidently does! 

Next week, Angie will be writhing at her piano over God songs since Nicki told her to do what she does best and she will.  Its getting warmer and I might not need my houseshoes by then so if I need them to catch some sick, they will be there. 

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Lazaro...Oh Lazaro

After my hissy fit of last week, which I think you will agree was justified by the horrendous performances by nearly all in *Rock Week*, I was almost afraid to watch the show this week.  My friend kindly sent me the link to the performance of  Slow Ride by Allison Irehata and Adam Lambert during their season's Rock Week, and if you search it on Youtube and compare it to what happened last week, you will perhaps be a little more forgiving of my tirade.  But...its a new dawn...its a new day...and while I haven't lost 100 lbs like Jennifer Hudson and I wouldn't say I'm feeling good... I'm feeling better.

The show opens with a video recap of the emotional departure of poor Burnell.  The judges didn't save him because they are saving a save for a girl and they have to use it this week so...this week is sort of a gimme for everyone but Lazaro...in the unlikely event that he gets the least votes.  Since he made the top 3 last week, I doubt that will happen absent blatant vote rigging by the producers and I'm sure they are sorely tempted to perpetrate a fraud the magnitude of which would make the Quiz show scandals of the 50s look like a child's tea party and send him and his tight pants back to Florida.  I couldn't help but notice that Lazaro was not featured in the tribute to Burnell...I'm not even sure the camera brushed by him.  So...Burnell is gone and Lazaro is, like his patron saint Lazarus, refusing to die.  

We have two themes this week.  Someone on the production team must have been reading the National Inquirer about Dionne Warwick's bankruptcy and financial ruin and remembered that there was a songwriting team that made her famous (or that she made famous) back in the late 60s and 70s so we get Burt Bacharach and Hal David songs. Burt is also famous for once being married to Angie Dickenson who is famous for having a quickie with JFK at one of his inaugural balls but that is probably way too much 60's trivia for this blog.  The other theme is *the song I wish I had written* which has a little bit more promise even though I am anticipating ballad overload. 

Since they each sang two songs, I'm going to vary my approach and go from worst to best performances which means we start with:


The something we didn't know about Lazaro is that he likes to hunt which makes him, in his words, a Spanish redneck.  Which is odd since he didn't seem to take to country folk too much last week since he doesn't think they have teeth.  But this *one thing you don't know about me* segment is just hype anyway so who cares?

He is the Rasputin of the season...the judges pan him, the judges don't pan him, he forgets the words, he screws up the other contestants songs, he is not on key and he just will not die (metaphorically...no one wants him to literally die).  Tonight he outdoes his usual mediocrity and goes into straight horrible on *Close To You*.  The one thing about the Bacharach melodies is that they have key changes in every song and Lazaro doesn't remember to change from one off-key  to another off-key.  This was just excruciating to listen to.  He follows up with *Angels* by Robbie Williams which is a song sung a lot on Idol and which I still don't understand as something that special because the lyrics make no sense to me and Lazaro does nothing to help me like this song any better.  The judges are very critical of his performances (Nicki won't even comment on the last one) but love him as a person so that the audience won't hate them.  But clearly, Lazaro is the proverbial turd in the punchbowl at this party and you know that the producers are cursing the day they allowed him into the top 20.  They clearly underestimated America's affinity for the underdog and the power of the sympathy vote as well as the power of Lazaro's tight pants.  Now...this is the first time I have mentioned that Lazaro appears not to wear any underpants because I had not noticed it (really!) until some other bloggers mentioned it.  So I forced myself to look tonight and let us just say he would give those male ballerinas in tights a run for their money.  Now that we are all grossed out, I will move on to


We learn that Angie and her girlfriend make stupid videos and post them on YouTube.  This girl is nothing if not a self-promoter as her legion of fans will now be looking for them and she will be making some bucks because of it.  Clearly she is destined for tele-evangelism shakedowns ala Tammy Faye and Jim Bakker.  

I grew up in the Bacharach/David era and listened to the radio a lot then plus I watched all the variety shows and I have never heard the song she sang. I still don't know the name of it and cannot remember much about it except that she screeched some and did fake emotional faces.  Keith is really calling her on that aspect of her recent performances, the other judges tend to agree with him and I am glad but I doubt it will make any difference to the Angie-bots voting for her.  I thought she was pitchy but maybe I just don't like her voice.  For her second song, she turns again to God and the piano.  This song evidently got her through the horrible dark days of self-doubt she had after she graduated from highschool and was waiting to audition for Idol.  If you believe that story you are a sucker.  She inadvertently tells us the real reason she chose that song (besides it being one to which she can hit a few chords on her piano )...it will *get me into the top 5*.   She does her *emotion* thing again with her screwed up faced and raising her shoulders and the judges eat it up like lobster in butter sauce because it reminds them of the ONE good performance she did weeks and weeks ago of her original song at the piano.  She is going to be around much longer than I would like.  Curses!

OK, maybe she wasn't much better than Angie but she is a nice person so she gets points for that.  Her Bacharach/David song, *I'll Never Fall In Love Again* is a bit lightweight and I'm not a fan of her schmoozing the audience and Keith as she sings it.  The judges don't love it but don't hate it.  For her second song, she does The Dance, by Garth Brooks and it is a much more soulful performance than the first.  But oops, neither she nor Mariah Carey know that the song was not written by Garth Brooks but by  someone else whose name I thought I wrote down but did not...Toby somebody?  Interesting that, I believe it was Nicki, said she didn't think she was up to the standards of Amber, Kree and Candice but did not say she wasn't as good as Angie.  Hmmm....  She may be up for the save tomorrow night.


Great minds can reasonably differ as to whether Amber is in 2nd or 3rd place tonight.  I'm going on song selection myself but have to say she knocked Say A Little Prayer out of the park tonight and looked beautiful doing it.  I'm not such a fan of Beyonce (did she write that song?) so I wasn't that thrilled with her second song except to say that I'm glad it was upbeat and my gosh...the legs on that girl!  I'm glad she followed Angie because she was so much better on both songs and I hope voters get it.  I'm afraid, however, that her fan base isn't that big and she too might be up for the save tomorrow night.  She is such a happy girl...I smile when I watch her and really would not be sad to see her win even if she is not my favorite.


She is still my favorite but that is purely a matter of personal taste.  I loved her acapella beginning to What the World Needs Now and I loved that she went for some glory notes for a change.  I confess I got some smiley tears in my eyes as the fireworks images were shown behind her and she belted out that old Jackie DeShannon classic (I have vivid memories of her performing that on various variety shows like Hootenanny and Hullabaloo.)  Then, I love Kris Kristofferson.  I just do and I don't care if he is old and much the worse for the drink now.  He has written so many good songs and Help Me Make It Through the Night is only one of many. Kree is just a pleasure to listen to and watch.


I was just thinking and telling a friend today that there has not yet been a *moment* this season but that Candice has come pretty close.  Well she had the moment of moments tonight.  First, in *Don't Make Me Over* she could use her entire range in a way that she couldn't last week in *Satisfaction* so we were reminded of her huge talent.  Then, the final song...*A Love Song*...was out of this world and I agree with Randy (who does have a lot of *greatest moments ever* comments) that this performance of a song I have never heard was perhaps the greatest Idol moment for me (although Crystal's People Get Ready was almost as good).  I cannot believe they turned her away last year to have those teeny boppers compete for votes.  I loved her speaking her *Geechie* language (also known as Gullah).  It has been passed down from the slaves who were transported to that part of South Carolina and the Georgia Low Country as this link will explain and is fascinating. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gullah

So...altogether...except for Lazaro and Angie...a much better show tonight than last week's show.  Although I'm still cursing the powers that be who are keeping me off of Idol's forum board.  You did note that Nicki used the word hell tonight and it wasn't even bleeped?  I wonder how you say hell in Geechee?