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Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Its All About the Boys

Well, the producers have made their decisions. The judges pretend they agree.  And we are half way to "our" top 24.  I have ranked them with initials:  NMF (not my favorite); MMS (makes me sick); IDC (I don't care); and MIV (maybe I'll vote).  

Michael Simeon is the first one we see face the music. His House of Blues performances was all breathy insincerity. He still irks me for that stupid slow dance with JLo during his audition.   Really, any one who hits on JLo should be disqualified.  He makes it through.  NMF.  Hope he fades early because the more I type the more he is moving into MMS territory.

Lauren Lott is as genuine as cubic zirconium.  She is an actress and its obvious.  She sang "My Heart Will Go On" at the House of Blues with lots of arm movements.  First, that song is ridiculous even when Celene Dion sings it.  Second, she MMS. 

Adam E (they don't show his last name long enough for me to get its spelling down) does his Joe Cocker imitation and its enough to get him through to the top 24.  IDC. 

Cody Fry aka Poindexter does not make it through.  His real problem is he looks like Poindexter.  No amount of talent is going to make up for that in the producer's eyes.  

Lovey James (Bada Bing) girl, shouts her song at the House of Blues. She is a former pageant girl and it shows. Technically it was OK but she didn't move me.  NMF.

Then a couple of people we never heard of are sent home.  

Adona was really worried.  Watching her perform at the House of Blues made Lauren and Lovey look even more plastic.  This girl can sing and make you feel it.  MIV.  If they had sent her home, I might have just quit watching the show.  I mean you know its rigged but that would have been just too much for me to take, especially after Jess Lamb. (No...I will not let that one go).

Then we have the painful sing off between Maddie and Rachel.  Maddie is more plastically polished than Rachel and she takes Rachel's place.  Rachel wasn't too happy and I don't blame her.  As for Maddie...she isn't as plastic as Lauren and Lovey but she is NMF.

And then there is Clark Beckham.  Melinda Doolittle wants to hook up with him according to the latest Reality Check.  I called him a throwback in my last blog entry.  I would not throw him back.  I would reel him in.  I almost got goosies.  I like him a lot.  I will probably vote for him. He may become my favorite.  No initials for him.

Daniel Seavy is becoming creepy.  Creepy creepy.  Who wants a 15 year old ladies man whose voice has barely changed.  NMF. 

Tyonna Jones was homeless growing up and wants to do this for her family (doesn't everyone?).  Normally, those sad stories do not move me and I'm not moved by hers.  I am moved by her performance.  Contrast her with plastic Lauren and Lovey.  She is on at least 5 levels of talent higher.  MIV.

I know Rayvon is a big favorite.  He seems like a nice guy. He doesn't move me though.  IDC.

Shannon, who has never sung in public before this competition does OK singing Piece of My Heart but she is no Crystal Bowersox, let alone Janis Joplin.  I don't think she will make the top 12.  IDC.

Jax is getting on my last nerve with her drama.  First she cloyingly sings Let It Be to her parents.  Then she tries for a pregnant pause in her House Of Blues performance which makes the audience nervous. She needs to cut that crap right out.  She is moving rapidly going into NMF territory with me and if she keeps the drama up, she will move into MMS. 

We don't know if Hollywood made it or not.  Not only do I not care, I actively hope he does not.  He is a minimally talented poseur.  MMS.  

So, tomorrow we will see who else makes it.  I hope the "old man" does.  For now, I'm with Melinda.  I'm a fan of Clark Beckham. 

For a hilarious and insightful take on these performers, check out Michael Slezak's blog and Reality Check with Slezak and Melinda Doolittle.  Google it because I'm too lazy to give you a link.