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Wednesday, May 8, 2013

I Don't Like Angie Miller and I'm Not Kidding...and Nigel Lythgoe is an ASS

The Final Three performed tonight after a weekend of hometown festivities and it was pretty clear that Kree is the third wheel as far as the producers and Jimmy go.  They really didn't want her here this week and the song choices they made for her proved it.  This is just Idol's annual way of sabotaging the one they don't want to win and it should have come as no surprise that Kree got the shaft on song choices.  But more on that later.

Let us start with our clapping seal, Angie Miller. 

She went home to Beverly, Massachusetts, after a stop in Boston and we had to be reminded that she was Boston's great inspiration in the aftermath of the terrorist bombings...perhaps she even invented the term *Boston Strong*?  Well, no.  She lands clapping her hands and heads out the door with open arms to meet her public and  GASP  no one is there.  The limo goes down empty streets, she goes to a coffee shop where no one knows her but her friends and then we see her and her friends in a limo travelling on more empty Boston streets.  Finally she gets to Beverly and there is a crowd of maybe 100 people at her family's home and Angie greets her adoring public.  Clap clap clap some more.  Her brother, who they bring on stage with her to watch the hometown video, has grown a beard for the *play offs* (do you suppose he has been watching reruns of Duck Dynasty instead of Idol like most of America?).  Whatever, he looks like a dork.  The grade school is full of kids (aren't all grade schools...I mean of course they are happy they don't have to be in class) and the concert has a decent but not overwhelming crowd.  She plays the piano with one hand (I wonder if she even plays the piano or just hits a dead keyboard) and emotes all over the place and blessedly the video ends.

Jimmy has given her Elton John's *Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word* on the belief she will sit at the piano.  She doesn't want to learn the chords so she stands there and sings it and its ok but not a moment, particularly when she screams out some off key glory notes.  Her idea this week of *being in it to win it* appears to involve singing every note as loud as she can.  The judges and Jimmy, blinded by her teeth, and deafened by her clapping hands, praise her effusively.  Jimmy thinks she won the first round.

Her second song is an upbeat song and she prances around the stage somewhat.  I have heard this song but didn't write down the name of it because I really didn't care at the point.  She is given great praise for doing 2 songs without her piano.  More effusive praise.  I am so sick of Angie at this point I am near tears of frustration.


Finally, she sings Maybe at the piano and goes all out having eye sex with the camera, humping the piano stool, and screaming the notes at the top of her lungs.  Again, effusive praise for this fake girl.  Seriously, between her and and Nicki Minaj I don't want to watch this show any more any more. 


Candice goes home to Gullah country and you cannot help but be happy for her, her family, and her little community and all the genuine love surrounding them all.  She seemed genuinely humbled by all the hoopla as opposed to Angie who kept looking around for more praise and more people to idolize her. 


Jimmy's choice for her is U-2's One which I should know but I have never really followed U-2 or Mary J Blige who covered it.  It gives Candice an opportunity to show off her amazing voice and the judges like it but are not effusive. 

The judges choose Next To Me, a song I also did not know but I thought she did a great job with it.  I don't think it let her really soar, though so I'm wondering why they chose it...except to make the playing field with Angie more even.


One of the few criticism's (unjust) of Candice has been that she may be too old-fashioned and unable to make a record that would be marketable to current audiences.  So, the producers make sure she appeals to the young votes by having her sing *Somewhere* (!!!!!) as opposed to Angie's more current (by about 50 years) producer's choice.  Now this is what I love about Candice.  It is like she knew what their game was and she just flat knocked that song into outer space.  I loved it, and I love her and I hope she wins (because I don't think Kree has a chance).   At some point during the criticisms of Candice, Nicki has to comment about her self-confidence and what a role model she is for all women...subtext...*even though you are fat.*  Shut your piehole Nicki...your butt is not quite of Kardashian proportions but it is getting there and as for the rest of you....ugly is as ugly does.

And now for Kree.   Some people might have cringed at the focus of the homecoming on her dead parents but I'm grateful for all the sympathy votes she gets as this point because she is certainly not getting a fair shake from the judges or the producers or Jimmy.  After praising her for the first 2/3 of the season for her understated performances they turned on her and told her she was bland and lifeless.  They are all horrible.  

Since Kree is a country singer and of course the object is to choose a song that will showcase the contestants' strengths, Jimmy chooses a pop song by Pink, *Perfect*, for her to cover.  Keith cannot find anything good to say except that she is clearly a country singer, Randy and Mariah thought it left something on the table and so the producer's have accomplished their objective to make her look like the one who doesn't belong on the stage with the other two.  At least the judges acknowledged that Jimmy's song choice was not ideal.

The judges do appear to have given some thought to their song choice and she kills Rascal Flatt's *Here Comes Goodbye*.  Jimmy even has to give her the round.  As a side note, this song was co-written by American Idol alum, Chris Sligh. 

The producers, however, give her the equivalent of Janelle's *Dumb Blonde* to sing.  Yes, lets get something with a fast tempo but why this stupid song?  Its like the found the most unappealing  uptempo country song ever written and pulled it out for her to sing.  And, as another critic pointed out...what is with giving this woman, whose mother buried her father and then died herself...a song about a woman saying if they dig her husband's grave they better dig two?  (I admit...I didn't catch this myself but once it was mentioned you have to wonder).  That was just deliberately callous and designed to make her fail. At least the judges acknowledged the song choice was awful.  And, I will give Nicki credit for saying whoever chose that song should be stoned because I think SHE got the naked insensitivity of it.   I think Kree did about all you could do with that song which is NOT a vote-getter having no glory notes or even a good story behind it.  But that was the point.  Have her close out on a weak song that no one can relate to (and which, on second thought, makes her relive the worst time of her life) . 

So, it looks like next week will be Angie the Seal and Candice going for the title and this season cannot end soon enough for me.  I voted for Kree tonight, will not watch the finale unless she is in it, but I will vote for Candice next week. 

Evidently, the producers of Idol are trying to figure out *what went wrong* this season.  Let us start with the Nicki/Mariah debacle.  Nicki is more than polarizing...90% of regular viewers commenting on the show hate her. Throw in questionable choices like Zoanetta.  Add the elimination of any human with an ounce of testosterone in their system.  Mix it with erratic judging and over praise of certain contestants (Amber) and throwing others under the bus (Kree and Janelle).  Result, a disastrous season.  I would be surprised if the tour even sells 1/4 of its seats this season.  I suppose they will give it one more season.  I don't want Simon back...I don't want JLo back...I would take Steven back...but for goodness's sakes get rid of Nicki. 

In the meantime, I watched the Voice last night and I must say that all of the women competing in the top 12  could have been in the final three tonight and not been out of place.

Candice for the win, Kree for 2nd place, and how I wish Angie's brother would have to cut off that stupid beard!

And after this season of Nigel ruining Idol, I am seriously considering boycotting So You Think You Can Dance.