unless I'm Rod Stewart, or Miley Cyrus, or Debbie Harry, or Paul Simon's worst nightmare. The contestants were surprisingly rebellious this week against Jimmy Iovine and his cohort (is it Will I. AM?) in choosing what they were going to sing from the movies. Perhaps they were just a little miffed when they learned that 9th place PiA (hereinafter referred to as St. PiA) had already been offered a record deal by Iovine and was rushing to record her songs (at least a single) to be released before the season ends, thereby stealing the thunder of the contestants America actually voted for. In prior years, the winner's single and album is usually released first.
But, as I have been learning from reading the official AI forums this week, St. PiA is an exception to every rule. She is going to win a grammy next year (at least one), Streisand is livid to be upstaged by the greatest voice since...well recording history. Mariah is in full on post-partum or pre-partum depression. Whitney's NA sponsor hasn't left her side, and after St. PiA's version of River Deep Mountain High, Tina Turner won't leave the house, she is so ashamed. Obama was even considering a statue that will mandate that instead of pledging allegiance to the flag (in those few schools who still do so) school children will be pledging allegiance to PiA. He has reconsidered and instead has asked St. PiA to record a song about HIM....something along the lines of *To Obama with love, St. PiA*. St. PiA responded that a better song might be *My Obama Will Go On* since she didn't get an opportunity to sing *My Heart Will Go On* tonight and really shove Celine's face in the dirt.
So maybe some of the contestants thought...hey...I WILL do it my way since the prize for the winner has already been awarded to St. PiA, so might as well take charge of my destiny here. Some of them did not, and in my opinion, their performances suffered for it.
So to assess the situation post- St. PiA here we go.
Paul comes out in yet another flowered suit (does he know it makes him look like a complete dork?) and jumps around while growling a Bob Seeger song (one of my favorites) with Rod Stewart's phrasing. I thought the sax player was the only redeeming part of this fiasco but the judges ate it up. I don't get the Paul love.
I do get the Lauren love, even if I don't approve of it, and she was smart to Kristy Lee Cook it tonight by singing a song the teens will love and then relating it to her own personal *climb* of 4 months. She was pandering for St. PiA's votes via her pimp Iovine (even if she won't admit it) and it will probably work. I didn't get Jennifer's comment about the *tear* in Lauren's voice. I will grant that she sang the song better than Miley Cyrus but that is not saying a heck of a lot as far as I'm concerned.
Stefemo has had a bad week. First of all, he is viewed by many as the agent of St. PiA's martyrdom at the hands of the rabble who threw her to the lions (or at least to a nice little recording deal with Iovine). Reports are he was getting hate mail of the worst kind. The demand that he quit the contest so St. PiA can come back was one of the kindest things thrown at him by St. PiA's outraged acolytes. I've got to say, I was proud of him tonight. I don't like his melismatic Pukealetta style but he did do the best performance I have ever seen him do and I have to admit he moved me an inch or two.
Oh...Scotty! What a kick! He calls Iovine *dude*. I'd like to think that is his way of subtley saying: *Look...you gave the prize away already so don't expect me to kiss your ass anymore and if you don't sign me someone else will.* I love *Everybody's Talking At Me* but you know, I think Scotty was right to stick to George Strait. Midnight Cowboy was a great movie, the song is a great song, and Glen Campbell is wonderful, but I'm not sure that Scotty's audience even KNOWS that song and certainly doesn't know that the movie was about a male prostitute and a consumptive homeless man (and they wouldn't care if they did). Maybe someone gave Scotty the heads up on the movie and he realized the backround of that song was just too morose and dark for his personality. Good job for Scotty but not a showstopper.
Casey basically pokes a finger in Iovine's eye and says *I'm doing Nature Boy, so shut up*. I love Nat King Cole. I think I would have loved the performance if I didn't have to watch the stupid faces Casey made while singing it. So at the end I was left completely conflicted. The judges loved it but they probably didn't see the close ups of Caseys face that the TV audience did. I suspect if I heard it without having to look at Casey, I would be impressed.
Well no love for Haley tonite from ANYBODY, including Iovine who phoned in his mentoring session and didn't tell her the song wasn't a good choice. She said she had a hard time choosing a song, which meant she didn't love the song she chose and it showed in her performance. She is getting the brunt of the St. PiA backlash, because when St. PiA's elimination was announced, Haley was looking around the audience and sort of half smiling instead of prostating herself in sorrow. So Randy hates her again and JLo and Steven agree with him. Haley is now cast as Camilla Parker-Bowles to St. PiA's Princess Diana. She is the *other woman* who stole the prize away from the beloved one (or at least was left standing for awhile longer). In addition, she and Casey are a couple (I thought what she was doing in the elimination was trying to get Casey's attention), which further ticks off St. PiA's worshippers because the save was *wasted* on Casey. According to one very verbose an illiterate poster on the forum, St. PiA's cousin hates Haley. Just thought I would share that with you.
Jacob, at this point, does not know whether to poop or go blind which pretty much describes the faces he makes when he sings). Iovine lectured him for his preaching at the audience (good the more people who are reminded of that the better). Chastened, he accepts Bridge Over Troubled Water like a whipped dog, even though it is only slightly less corny than *To Dream the Impossible Dream* or *I'll Never Walk Alone*. And I thought he butchered the song and my ears hurt on those last three notes that the judges found so amazing.
Oh...I just heart James. Do you know that he sends drawings in his replies to fan letters? Several of his fans have posted pictures of the letters and drawings he has sent back to them. He also defied Iovine and good for him. Metal is NOT my thing at all. I'm to the point where he can do whatever he wants and I'll enjoy it. He just seems like a happy guy!
So...who will be in bottom three? I think Paul and Jacob should be. I think Haley has a good chance of being on the stools and perhaps Casey because people didn't get what he was up to. Paul seems to have a lot of fans though. I hope Stefemo is not in the bottom three after he gave so much of himself tonight. I don't want him to win the thing, but he deserves to get an early safe call for what he endured in the past week AND for a great performance, even if it was Stefemo style.
Am interested to see KK's thoughts on the night. I do agree that at least we are getting a broad range of styles from the contestants and that the show is much more entertaining as a result. Also, I think that they had a bigger song selection (or were more pushy about getting new songs cleared) than in the past for this theme week. I really think I might have lost it if Paul did *Footloose*.