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Thursday, January 22, 2015

Je ne suis pas amusé. Les bon temps ne roulaient pas

So much for New Orleans.  Can we give it back to the French?  Or at least send Harry, JLo and Keith to Paris to sing You've Got a Friend? 

I have no idea what "boxes" the judges are trying to fill because they did some strange things tonight.  I assume the first 8 minutes of programming was designed to pimp Harry with bad contestants as this is the first time this season we have seen laughable auditions. But...somehow, they kept one or two for later and sent them to Hollywood.  Argh!

Anjelica ("Jelly") Joseph was the first serious contestant and she sang Rolling In the Deep well enough.  She seems to have an infectious personality.  I thought her voice was ordinarily good.  She may have some potential or maybe she fits the box of overweight black woman who sings loud.  

Tiffany Stringer (who does not yet have a stage name but give her time) is 16 and on the drill team in Texas.  Her audition was painful to watch.  She was kicking her leg and rolling her eyes (ala Angie the seal)  and as I recall, essentially talking a song.  But hey, send her Holllywood because she is 16 and cute.  I suspect she is hangar fodder but right now I just don't trust my judgment.  

Grayson Turner is 15 and he and his girlfriend gig around town and he wants to go to the next level (after he goes to the bathroom as he forgot to pee).  Is there something a bit obscene about a 15 year old thinking this way?  He is pretty sure he is all that and does an original song which I thought was pretty corny with a breathy voice.  They loved the way he talked the way he walked and his dark passion.  O.K.  

So after commerical I hear this voice singing St. James Infirmary and I am thinking "finally!"  The performance had a Billie Holliday vibe to it and to me sounded like New Orleans.  Harry says no it does not...or at least it doesn't sound like American IIdolized New Orleans.  Plus, she is 28, doesn't have hair extensions or even (gasp!) blonde hair, and didn't have on much makeup.  Keith says yes, Harry says no, and Jennifer says no because *I don't think you can win the whole thing*.  Of course this is a new criterion that has not been applied to say, Tiffany from the drill team in Texas.  So away goes Sarah with only the memory of singing along to Harry's accompaniment to console her.  Keep singing Sarah.  

Quintin Alexander is from the 9th Ward and he says he survived it by staying indoors and experimenting with fashion.  He sings Royals.  He had on a stupid outfit but the judges thought he looked so so cool.  I think they were mesmerized by the outfit and didn't hear his mediocre voice.  

A contestant from Harry's high school who is a little too full of himself (sorry I cannot read his name in my notes but I think his last name was Duran) sings an original song.  I liked the song.  His voice was a little strange to me.  I approve of sending him to Hollywood even though he thinks his 2.8 GPA in high school was a "great" performance.  

Now it is time for the audience to guess yes or no while a contestant sings us into the break.  It is some blowhard girl trying to sing bluesy but failing.  I'm writing NO NO NO in my notes, even though I know I always guess wrong.  Alexis Cruppa ( change one letter and you will desribe her talent) goes to Hollywood and I pretend to vomit on my houseshoes and think  of Sarah.  

Ricky Dale is a country singer.  He is likeable and not bad so he goes through.  Yawn. 

Great, Briana Jade the drag queen goes to Hollywood because JLo thinks he can win the whole thing (you know she wouldn't have said yes unless she thought so).  Briana Jade comes across to the judges sweet as pie but afterwards in the interview reveals he is a biotch. 

Adam Asher is Carlos Santana's nephew and seems pretty talented.  I will be watching for him in Hollywood.  He seemed pretty modest too.  

Finally,  Erica from Mobile, the ubiquitous single mother auditions.  She is good and goes through.

San Francisco is next week and the final city.  Yay! 

Now, Laissez les mauvais temps cesser de rouler.