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Thursday, April 12, 2012

America to Jessica Sanchez: Not Into You!

Well for once, Ryan delivers on his empty promises of a shocking results night.  Bibi isn't going home but the bloom is off and the judges have to use the save.  America doesn't like her as well as TPTB thought they would. And America just gave the judges a big fat up your hiney vote. They don't like the pimping of Joshua and Jessica (really...that Standing O for Joshua was just too much) and they don't like Hollie bashing.   I'm convinced there was a huge backlash against the judge's treatment of Hollie last night.  I thought the backlash would hurt Elise (and it clearly didn't help her) but it seems to have drawn votes away from Jessica too.  And I DON'T think the judges would have saved Elise in spite of what Steven said about *using our card tonight with results like this*.

But maybe, just maybe, Bibi's elimination was not just a product of Hollie backlash.  Maybe America is as bored with her as they were with Pia last season.  *Perfect* can get boring.  She did sing a song which is not well known which probably hurt her but she was bound and determined to sing it.  On second listening (someone said she almost fell off the piano and I had to rewatch to see that) it wasn't quite as cat meowing as I first thought.  But I agree with KK, it was oversung.  Sitting on the piano was cheese on toast and she was dressed like a cheap whore. Its interesting that in years past with a contestant this young, the judges usually comment *you need to sing younger songs* *you need to dress younger*.  Not with Miss Perfect Jessica/Bibi...they are perfectly content for her to look like a 2 bit lounge singer/soiled dove looking for her next john.  Or maybe Tiger Mother is behind that look.

It looked like the other Idols were glad she was saved but somehow I think if she went home there wouldn't be as many tears as there were for Deandre. Of course they knew she would be saved so its probably not fair to say that.  I'm not saying Bibi is a B...but I suspect her tiger mother keeps her isolated from the group so as not to have her talent *contaminated* and works Bibi's ass to death.  And for those who think she had a perfectly normal childhood...Bibi said it herself...she has been working hard all of her life.  Mama and Daddy and the 120 relatives saw a meal ticket early and all the chips are riding on her.

Onto the rest of the show.  James Durbin looked great and its nice to hear his wedding went off as planned with Stefano as his best man..even if Casey was late.  His song was written by him to his wife.  Somehow I think I have heard the beginning melody before complete with eerie echos back in the 60's or 70's and I'm hoping he doesn't have a plagiarism suit on his hands.  Nice to see he is doing well.

As for Jennifer Hudson...I guess losing weight has made her want to do all sorts of trendy/rappy songs and I like the old Jennifer better (although I'm happy for her that she is thin).  I don't know why Neo had to join the party tonight but at least he wasn't completely rapping.   I don't even know who the heck Neo is.  Maybe he never raps. 

On a style note...it appears that padded shoulders may be making a comeback.  Jessica wore them last night and Jennifer Hudson wore them tonight and Khloe Kardashian was photographed in them earlier this week. 

This blogger is happier than a pig in slop tonight at the Judge's comeuppance.  *Hoist by their own petards* comes to mind. 

Of course, this means that next week, the Standing Oafs will be standing up before Jessica and Joshua sing a note, finally start mildly critiquing Colton and Phillip, be ho hum about Skylar, tell Elise she is losing it again, and actually BOOOO Hollie.   Self-centered jackholes! 

Updated to add:  Just read KK's post.  PLEASE I hope she is wrong about the conspiracy. 


Conspiracy Theory: Sanchez' Vote Out Staged by Idol Producers

The most shocking part of the whole shocking night:

Jessica Sanchez pretends to be shocked when the judges save her.

Apparently Auntee and I aren't two tone-deaf, jealous old biddies with a grudge against a tiny little Fillipino girl and her stage parents after all.  Looks like there are at least a few other people in America who agree with us.  


This whole shocking voting out of Jessica Sanchez is a fix by the producers to guarantee her fans make up for the scare by voting her right into the finale.  

I'm going to go on record right now:  Jessica Sanchez' faux vote-out just secured her a spot in the finale. 

As for the non-shocking parts of the night:

1.  MrKK and I laughed through the entire group performance.  They should go back to the lipsynching because it's not supposed to be funny, right?  Oh wait, Seacrest just jumped in, maybe it was all a big joke!

2.  Ryan is drunk tonight.

3.  We fast forwarded through all but 10 seconds of James Durbins' song.  He lost me at the special microphone that made him sound like a machine. 

4.  I love Jennifer Hudson, and I dug her and Ne-yo's song Think Like a Man.

5.  Colton asks for a standing ovation.  And he'll get it next week (JLo: "we haven't stood for you? but you're baby of the week!")

Idol - Making a DVR Mandatory

It's Thursday night, I'm currently recording the results show on my trusty DVR, and I'm fastforwarding through a majority of last night's show.

I just can not commit 2 hours to AI.  Especially when a majority of those 2 hours are excessive clapping/screaming for contestants/judges that I don't like, and/or watching Tommy Hillfiger show contestants closets full of clothes that none of them will ever wear and talk to them about "style" while he's been wearing the same polo and blazer for the past 6 episodes.

Skylar - I loved her take on Kellie Pickler, and the song choice was a perfect mix of jumping-around-country and ballad-country.  

Colton - MrKK liked it, but didn't understand what all the "outside of the box" talk was.  I really like Love the Way You Lie, as originally done, not as Colton done.  

I agree with Auntee that the clip about Elise faux-bossing Phil around isn't going to help her reputation.  Gotye is my favorite right now!  But these two karaoked it.
Jessica sings a song making fun of people with speech impediments.  I'm going to hell, but I laughed every single time she sang "st, st, studdering".  I know that's the song, but it was hysterical!  Also, could she get more loungy?  She didn't even get off the piano.  Oh, and OVERSUNG (do I even have to type that each week?  It's just a given right?)  And what's the deal with "feed her hamburgers?"  She's too small now, Akon and Jimmy?  Can a woman not get a break?  Too big, too small, too tall ...  The judges talked to her forever, too.  MrKK left the room, came back with candy, and said, "they're still talking to her?"

Jacob sang some Bruno Mars song that I'd never heard of.  I appreciated him leaving the excessive runs out (it wasn't gospely at all), but it wasn't worth the praise the judges gave him.

Skylar and Colton sing another karaoke duet.  Can't we just cut the show down to an hour?!?

Hollie's adorable parents are back - maybe I'm slap-happy tonight, but should she be singing a song called Perfect when her accent prevents her from pronouncing the word "perfect"?  Not an issue during the song, though, and this was my favorite performance of the whole night!!  She re-did this arrangement, made it her own, tailored it to fit her voice and her style, and I loved it!  JLo says she sung beautifully and that she's rooting for her, but it was a totally backhanded compliment.  Steven and Randy don't know what the hell they're talking about.  Based on this, I already know exactly what the 3 of them will say to Elise, too.

Phil - Shave already!  You look like a frat boy in the middle of hell-week.  Or a hobo.  I'm not anti-facial hair, unless that facial hair looks like pubic hair.  Gross.  His song sounds just like every single other song he's ever sung, but for some unexplicable reason (*the fix is in*) the judges didn't like it this time.

Trio sings.  Nobody says a damn thing about Jessica's pitch issues, shocker.  Also, I would love to take Jacob to a club for a night.  How fun would he be to get drunk and dance with?

Elise tries to sing Haley's song.  Sorry, Elise, it's just too soon and nowhere near as good.  Worst song Elise has ever done, but the judges ate it up (which just confirms that their comments are dictated by something other than the performances.)  Maybe the fact that Jason Segal is a fan will get her some votes.

Bottom 3:  Hollie, Skylar and Elise

Going home:  Hollie, hands-down (unfortunately)