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Thursday, February 27, 2014

Class

I don't think anyone was  surprised by tonight's elimination of Kristen O'Connor.  I was surprised she made it this far.  As I recall, I was surprised she made it to Hollywood.  For some reason the judges loved her and didn't see the wooden pageant girl the rest of America saw.  But I must say, hers was one of the classiest exits I have seen on this show.  She didn't cry, she thanked the world and regrettably her emotional control may have been her downfall in the competition. That and wanting to sing Kelly Clarkson and Adele songs.

For the first time in a long time, I enjoyed the production tonight.  The group song was current, Ryan was relaxed, the judges were funny when they should have been and serious when they should have been and didn't showboat at each other's expense, and the Dawg was marginally tolerable.  We were also spared the Ford Video.  I look back at last season when Ryan seemed in a perpetual bad mood and you know he has to be relieved at this year's dynamics.  And I am so relieved that Keith survived last year's debacle.  I am pretty much besotted with him along with every other woman in the free world (and maybe even Pussy Riot in Russia is too). 


I found the *behind the scenes* look at the contestants a little forced.  It did, however, confirm my opinion of Emily Piriz as the new Angie Miller.  Everyone is having a nice time and then in her passive/aggressive way she says *oh we all get along so well I cannot believe someone is going home*.  Way to pull everyone down with your fake concern Emily.  Ugh.  


As for the talent...at least last year gave us Candice Glover.  I don't know why her album took so long to release but I hope it does well.  I about cried when she sang Cried.  I think its a great idea for the judges to promote new artists by giving them a showcase on Idol and Keith seemed very proud of Luke Bugg.  I think I could acquire a taste for him as well.  I worry about the dark circles under Mr. Bugg's eyes and hope they don't indicate a drug problem.


As for the two others in the bottom 3, I think Malaya's turn on the stool was justified.  Girl just has to calm the heck down.  They should give her a ballad next week and nail her feet to the floor.  The only explanation I will accept for MK being in the bottom 3 is that a lot of people, like me, hated the song she sang and so didn't feel inspired to vote for her.  If she does a good song next week (ballad..ballad...ballad) I think she will get voters back.  I would have put Dexter on the stool instead of her.  I have to say that CJ probably dodged a bullet this week too.  


So, here is a toast to the classy Kristen...one of the few people in celebrity land whose name begins with a K who know the meaning of the word.


I do have to mention that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are remodeling their house in Bel Aire and have ordered gold plated toilets.  Just thought you would like to know.      

   

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

This Is ME!

Oh I just knew my days as a blogger were not over yet.  I have a new villian (or maybe 2) and so I'm on a roll again! So, this is ME!  

First, I have to comment on the voting changes.  For years on the AI official forum (which as you recall banned me for life for quoting Dorothy Parker last year...but it doesn't matter now because they have discontinued it probably because they banned everyone interesting and people quit posting out of sheer boredom) people have been begging the show to limit the votes to avoid conspiracy theories about super smart Asians hacking the AI lines to vote for Filipinos.  Or gay haters at AT&T throwing away all the votes for Adam Lambert so Kris Allen could win.  Well, now the votes are limited to 50 with each method.   And you can text with any carrier (is AT&T no longer a sponsor....I think that may be the answer to this long time coming change).  And, a new twist announced tonight....each contestant will keep their number all season long or for as long as their season lasts.  This may prove problematic for long time viewers or old timers.  To make things harder for old timers, they have switched to putting the vote information in small print during the performances...something I didn't notice until half way through the show tonight.  And you can spend the whole show now voting instead of watching.  

Overall, I think all of them performed better than they did last week which is understandable given that they weren't on pins and needles in a holding area waiting to sing or be chopped.  Also, last week was the first time most of them had used ear monitors which may account for some of the *intonation* issues.  So...a new start for them all tonight and they were supposed to choose songs which would tell the audience *this is me* as an artist.  Most of them got the message but some of them seemed to choose a song they liked (or already knew) and try to make it fit.  And by the end of the show I was pretty tired of hearing about the *journey* they are on.  Why not just pick a Journey song and call it a wrap?  

Contestant #1, Dexter, at least got the assignment right.  He is a *fun* guy and he wanted to sing a *fun* song.  I believe Ryan forgot to tell us what song it was and the original artist(s).  This was unfortunate because he sang it like a manure salesmen with samples in his mouth.  I could not get one word of the lyrics.  I suppose his voice was fine enough but what is country music without the story?  The judges are harping on him being unoriginal and I have to agree with them.  But he is likeable and I think will get votes.

Contestant #2, Malaya, was full of energy.  I just love this girl but I had hoped she would get some of that energy used up before she basically made a track meet out of Runaway Baby.  She screamed it seemed to me.  Stop that screaming Malaya.  Calm the heck down.  I don't want you to go home yet but this was not that endearing. 

Kristen O'Connor, contestant #3, sang a Kelly Clarkson song, Beautiful Disaster.  She said she was taking the lyrics and singing it about her instead of some guy.  I think she knew the song and wanted to sing it and came up with a goofy explanation about why she did.  It is just too easy to call this performance a Beautiful Disaster but that is what it was.    Harry said she was out of tune.  I wouldn't be sad if she was out of the contest but she is not a villain, just not any different from any other pretty girl singing in the Miss America pageant whose real life path is working for world peace by becoming a news anchor and not being a pop star.

Ben Briley, contestant #4, sang the first song I knew tonight, Folsum Prison Blues.  He sang it very fast.  He sang it very well.  I would have preferred him making it a touch slower but it was good and he loved doing it.  I think he will get lots of votes.

Keith and Harry disagreed about my guy CJ's performance (#5).  I wish it had been a little stronger because I adore him.  But he at least got the assignment right and related it to him being a little kid driving in the car listening to the radio.  I hope he sticks around awhile.  I like his *crying* voice too and want to hear it but he is basically an upbeat guy so it would not have been him to be morose. 

The judges loved MK Robilette's Satisfaction (#6).  I could never hear that song again and be happy.  She sang it well I suppose but because I didn't like the song and didn't get how it related to her at all (other than to show she could do something besides ballads) I wasn't thrilled with her performance.  She is beautiful though. I want to hear her sing a better song next week. 

Majesty Rose, #7, sang Tightrope and gave a pretty plausible reason for doing so.  She is growing on me.  I thought hers was one of the best performances of the night.

Jena Irene, #8  sang The Scientist.  I have no idea what this had to do with her either other than she knew the song because she has been singing it since she was nine years old.  I'm putting this song on the list with Hallelujah, I Who Have Nothing, and any Whitney Houston song, as one which should never be sung on Idol again.  She reminds me of Lauren Alaina and not just because she dumped her last name.  Micheal Slezak, the TV Line Blogger, loves this girl.  I do not.  I'm not a fan of belters and I don't see why the judges don't hear the screaming when these diva wanna bees start belting.  But they don't.  

Alex Preston, #9, sang *A Beautiful Mess*.  I cannot remember why he chose this song but it was, to use an overused Randy Jackson expression *in his wheelhouse*.  I like the staging.  He did a fine job and I think his fish faces were minimal tonight.  

My favorite, Jessica Muese, sang a song I do not know but which I loved...the Crow and the Butterfly. I loved it.  I love her.  I want America to vote for her and not all those young kids.  I'm afraid they will not. 

My new villian is Emily Piriz who is rapidly becoming the second coming of Angie Miller, fakey smiles, eye sexing the camera, and flipping hair extensions and all.  Slezak and Melinda Doolittle didn't get why she was voted into the top 10 and could only explain it at American feeling sorry for her because Harry was hard on her for picking that stupid ooh la la song last week.  Harry still doesn't like her and I thought he was restraining himself tonight when he praised her performance.  She sang Glitter in the Air by Pink and belted it enough that she will get the votes from those people who voted for Angie Miller last year and Pia several years before.  ARRGH.  I don't like her and I KNOW she spent hours in front of the mirror perfecting her little facial expressions to appear oh so appealingly Angie Miller (she probably watched her Youtube videos ad nauseum).  The good thing is my snark now has something to quench its appetite.  

Dear sweet Sam Wolfe, #12, is not going home for a very long time.  He sang Unwell (again I didn't get why it is him). I think it could have had more passion but he is a kid and probably hasn't experienced anything more painful than stepping on a sea urchin.  If I had a pink cell phone with rhinestones on the cover, I would have voted for #12 even more than the 50 votes allowed.  As I do not, I voted for Jessica instead. 

Caleb the Rocker, #13, got the pimp spot.  He proved he can sing a rock song.  He can swing around the microphone stand really well too.  He still sort of bores me.  

So, let me know if you agree or disagree with me on this first show.  

I have no idea who is going home but I'm afraid it might be CJ.  My hope would be Kristin or Emily but I think there are enough people who get impressed by screamers to keep them in this week. 

Correction:  I went back to my early audition blogs and see that I am wrong about Sam Wolfe and his life pain.  His back story (which mercifully we haven't heard about since the audition) is that he lives with grandparents because his parents are *out of the picture*.  So as perfect as he looks, and as perfect as he sings he hasn't had a perfect life.  I  bet if he has any success here one or both parents will reappear with their hands out.  Let us hope he doesn't give them any money.  


  

Thursday, February 20, 2014

How Am I Supposed To Blog Without You?

I am nearly 100% happy pappy with the results tonight but I am slightly concerned that I don't see any one I can be snarky about this season (with the possible exception of Fish Boy Alex Preston). I would have liked to see Briana Oakley make the cut instead of Emily Piriz or Kristen O'Conner and I would have liked to see Malcolm in place of Caleb but overall, I think America got it right.

The 10 America liked, in order of announcement were:


Malaya the Tuba Player.  I love her spirit, her glasses, and her braces.  Not sad she went through. 


Ben Briley.  I don't know why he was on the cusp to begin with especially considering they put the Fat Albert Kid and Emmanuelle ahead of him.  America is going to like Ben for quite awhile.  He may get old to me but I'm not sad he went through. 


Emily Piriz.  I have no idea what her appeal is.  Maybe she got votes based on her Hollywood performance because I cannot imagine last night's performance appealed to anyone.  Not sad she went through but hoping to be not sad when she goes home at 12 or 13.


Alex Preston.  He was going to be the one I snarked about all season until Spinny came along and took over the prime villian of the season slot.  I don't think he is a villian but I think he might be a Phil Phillips clone...pained faced and all.  I was reminded by Slezak's blog that Volcano was one of Phillips' moments.  It was too much to expect that a musician as good as Alex is would not make the top 13 either through votes or a wild card.  Sad he went through and will be livid if he wins but for now I can live with it on the hopes he will screw up royally at some point.


Jessica Muese.  I will root for her for as long as she stays on because I like music and I like that she is not some sweet young thing who just wants to wear pretty clothes and makeup (cough cough Borea and Mariella).  Not sad at all she made it through.  Will be sad when she goes home.  


Dexter Roberts.  Pretty much a foregone conclusion he was going through.  Not sad but not inspired either.  Note to the stylists:  tight fitting shirts do not help his appearance. Man boobs are never attractive.


Caleb Johnson.  Aack...sort of sad he went through but my hope is he will be gone soon.  


Majesty Rose.  She deserved it even if she has a made up name.  Not sad. 


MK Nobilette.  She was bound to go through either with votes or a wild card.  I'm glad she got the votes because it proves that the AI voters are not all bigots as has been posited in prior years.  


Sam Wolfe.  What a sweet young man.   He reminds me of my nephew (although my nephew cannot sing) who I miss very very much.  Not sad at all about this one.  


Now for the wild cards.  I didn't agree with them giving Borea and Spinny a second chance but thank goodness they failed to impress.  Jena Irene is a belter and I suppose we have to have at least one.  Kristen still seems vapid and pageanty to me but we will see.  And, I was happy to see my man CJ get in the top 13.  I'm surprised he didn't get more votes because he is such a sweet heart.  


Have to let a little snark out about Borea and Spinny.  Borea comes on all OMG OMG OMG and then says *oh your going to get something from me* or some trash talk like that.  She's flashing her eyes and her fake smile and making little head motions to show how *polished* she is as a performer but she just looks like a Toddlers and Tiara contestant (I really think she out Lauren Alaina'd Lauren Alaina in that respect).  Thank goodness for Harry to bring the judges down to earth because I think last year's panel with Nicki in the lead would have given her a standing ovation and crowned her queen.  Borea didn't get the message that there is a new sheriff in town and cutesy expressions and flashy makeup and clothes do not make up for the fact that she stinks up the stage.  She wanted this experience to become the artist that she is and I guess she now knows that she isn't the artist America wants to see.  I suspect her biggest regret is that she will lose out on the weekly clothing allowance.  Maybe she got some red soled shoes to take home with her as a consolation prize.  


And then comes Spinny.  Spinny...the time for singing a song about loving ordinary or not ordinary girls and gazing soulfully into the camera like you are really a sensitive soul was last night.  My faith in America is renewed somewhat that he didn't get voted through and had to sing for his life.  And of course, we all know he would not even deign to practice with ordinary girls in the group rounds.  I suspect he would have no girl less than a perfect 10  because anything less would reflect badly on HIM.  Good riddance but then again...how am I supposed to blog without you?  


I'm excited about this season.  


      




Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Some Guy With Guitar ...

is going to win American Idol this season. I'm not saying the men are better as a group than the women and I'm not saying I'm rooting for some guy with a guitar but its going to happen.  Looking at this top 10 or 15 men, and comparing it to last season, it is pretty darn clear that they culled out any male talent last year in an effort to get a girl winner (just as everyone suspected/knew).  

I have only one guy I really want to see voted into the top 10 or get a wild card and that is CJ Harris.  I just love him.  I love his smile (bad teeth and all) and I love his attitude and I love that he goes against the grain of doing overwrought R&B that every black male has ever done on this show.  If you love R&B and you love runs then you will not agree with me.  I can live just fine with that.


Before I start on the talent, I have to ask:  Who does Randy Jackson have compromising photos of or who is he sleeping with to even get the *mentor* job let alone be promoted so heavily during the broadcast.  Seems like his face was EVERYWHERE tonight.  I am as sick of Randy Randy Randy as Jan Brady was of Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. And I didn't mention Daughtry and Lambert much last night.  Good men.  Adam really does look more handsome without a ton of makeup on but its strange seeing him out of costume so to speak isn't it? 


Speaking of handsome...the men may have an abundance of talent but sadly they have a dearth of good looks. Many are very unfortunate looking. This pains me only because it means that my least favorite is one of the two who is not unfortunate looking and will probably get votes from stupid girls who think he is cute.


First up tonight was Caleb whose style makeover was not apparent to me.  I'm the last person to criticize his excessive girth and at least he knows he should lose a few pounds but does he have to be all sloppy haired too? He believes he is the rocker of the group and he certainly shouts loud enough but all I could think of was James Durbin and how Caleb failed to measure up to him (let alone a REAL rock star).  He sang Stay With Me, a song I and the audience knows well (except I keep thinking that the lyrics are *in the morning I'll just kick you in the head* instead of *kick you out of the door*).  So in addition to James Durbin, all I was thinking about during Caleb's performance was how stupid it was of me not to know the lyrics to Stay With Me.  He actually kind of bores me. 


My man, CJ Harris was next.  I really wish he had followed the mentor's advice and ditched the guitar because I was thinking about whether the guitar was any good instead of listening to the song.  I think he did a fine job even if it wasn't a moment.  And even before Ryan mentioned his root canal, I made a note that he had some work done on his teeth.  Dental work is expensive and he doesn't look like he came from money so I hope either the show paid for it or paid him enough to get the work done.  I think he will get votes.  


The judges tried to explain putting Emmanuel in the top 10 by saying he was a performer.  He seems like a fun guy with a pleasant personality and he isn't unfortunate looking but he does have a fat butt which doesn't look so good swaying around in a semi-twerk.  I thought it was interesting that the coaches said *you won't get a do over* but  JLo gave him just that after his performance was so bad vocally.  I wonder if she fought for him as opposed to Maurice Townsend or someone who can sing, and then felt she needed to prove she wasn't wrong.   I will be surprised if this isn't the last time we see Emmanuel perform.  I don't know what he sang except it was a lot of drama and if my cat had been watching she might have been interested in some of it. 


OK, sweet Sam Wolfe.  He tried so hard to keep from putting his head down and look confident but didn't quite make it.  He is tween candy and might have sailed to the confetti a few years back on his looks alone.  Sadly, tweens don't watch Idol anymore.  Old ladies like me do. But that boy can sing.  Perfect tone, perfect pitch.  I like him and hope he makes it through.   He kind of had that Lauren Bacall look where he had his head down but his eyes came up (You do know how to whistle don't you Steve?).  For those of you too young to remember Lauren Bacall, think of Princess Diana when she wanted to show the press how sweet and sad she was.  If you are too young to remember Princess Diana then I have no idea who you are and why you are reading this blog.


Ok, George Lovett did sail under the radar.  I do not remember him at all.  He sang Grenade and really went drama queen on us.  He said Joshua Ledett was his favorite Idol and that was pretty clear.  Its also pretty clear he is not going to go as far as Joshua Ledett.  The judges were not impressed.  This panel, thanks to Harry's influence I believe, but maybe Keith too, is not impressed by over the top drama.  JLo suddenly doesn't like it either even though she was one of the judges who jumped up in a standing O in prior seasons whenever anyone so much as did one run.  


OK,  here comes This Old Boy, Dexter.  Dexter is not only unfortunate looking he has the name of a character who was a serial killer on TV.  He is good and the song suited him obviously, but I'm with Harry that he is going to have to add something a little more special to be a big name in country music.  He may be able to do that and I suspect he will make it through with the country voters backing him. 


I was so hoping not to hear Alex Preston's name.  He really is all about his instruments and I'm not referring to his voice.  If anyone else had sung that song and was going in his musical direction, I would be rooting for him. He bothered me less tonight than in prior performances but he still makes a snarly fish face on some of his words. Maybe he will make it through. I'm going to lay off of him tonight because I have bigger fish to fry.  I did like Harry's educational contribution about *ending on the 9*.   It almost makes me want to take Music Theory 101.  


Malcolm Allen almost made me cry.  I like him a lot too.  I don't know why they said he didn't feel the song.  I thought he did.  I also liked his expression *cool beans*. A good friend of mine used that expression a lot and it made me think of him.  I'm afraid he is cool beans on toast though with the bad reviews he got from the judges.  


I was surprised that Ben Briley was chosen for the vote off because I thought he was one of the stronger of the guys all along.  Tonight was the first we have heard of his musical heritage (I think).  Tonight was also the first time I saw his eyes.  He wouldn't give up on that stupid hat but at least he put it on backwards (not a look I normally approve of) so we could see them.  I was beginning to think perhaps he had little ferret eyes or something he was so determined to keep them out of sight.  But they are actually quite nice eyes.  I tried to do some research on his mother and grandmother and didn't find anything yet but I did learn that he is a public relations professional and college graduate which is entirely inconsistent with his *shucks I'm from the hills of Tennessee just down the road from Butcher Holler* (which is in Kentucky but you get my point) persona. 


And finally, just as I was about to be all happy pappy and relaxed, they bring out the mean boy Spinny.  HIS name should be Dexter.  This guy will get the teen votes and maybe the frauen votes because he is one of the only guys who is not completely unfortunate looking in the competition and sings pretty well.  Tonight he did not.  Harry won my heart when he said *that was not good*.  It won't matter.  I have no faith that Idol voters will find him as repulsive as I do.  I did notice that when given conflicting advice about whether to play his guitar, he followed Adam's advice.  I think he sang something about love not dying.  My soul was dying watching him.


All in all, I thought tonight's performances were about as rocky as the women's performances were last night. Given the circumstances, we probably shouldn't have expected anything else.  I still don't understand why Savion Wright didn't make the top 31 over that little Fat Albert kid.  I don't understand by Borea and Marielle got in the top 10 over some of the other girls.  I really hoped with the new producer that Idol would get past its obsession with finding the new Justin Bieber or Miley Cyrus by promoting these young kids over talent over 20.   







  

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Its Just Emotion Thats (Not) Taking Me Over

Having missed last week's dramatic announcements of the top 31, I was unaware of this week's schedule change but miraculously seated myself on my broken down couch at 7:10 just in time to see the end of what appeared to be a showcase of Randy in his new role as mentor.  He seemed to be just as inspirational as a mentor as he was as a judge but maybe they couldn't reach an amicable deal with him on remaining contract obligations?  At least they brought in real people, Daughtry and Lambert, to do the actual mentoring as opposed to saying *give it your all*.  Although some of the contestants' conversations with Randy were revealing. 

So, I'm gathering that the top 15 women, after rush week, have been pared down to the ten ladies we will hear tonight. It also appears they have changed the voting rules allowing only a total of 150 votes using each method. They also changed the phone number after 12 years and even after 10 contestants, I'm not sure I have it down right.

A few general comments.  What is it with these girls having stage names when they haven't been on a stage before?  Majesty Rose, Jena Irene, and Bria Anai (Johnson).  Shades of Lauren Alaina (who lost her real last name, Suddeth, somewhere on the road from Georgia to Hollywood with the assistance of her stage mom) and that is not one I prefer anyone to emulate. So, these contestants are coming on with one strike from me already. 

Since I normally love the women/girls performances more than the boys, I was hoping for some emotional inspiration tonight.  Sadly, it was sorely lacking with one or two minor exceptions.  I'm going to go first with the ones I hope make the top 10/13 in no particular order.

Briana Oakley's was the first performance that moved me one little bit.  She says she is somewhat of a perfectionist and the coaches said she needed to loosen up.  She sang Warrior and I thought it was very good.  The judges were not so impressed.  I think the judges were crazy on this one.  I loved her voice, I loved the high notes that Harry cautioned her against relying on so heavily (not all of them were huge high notes, some were subdued) and while I really wasn't very familiar with the song, I felt something from her.  I'm afraid she is going to be lost in the shuffle though because she didn't get raves from the judges and because of the order in which she sang.

I waited a long time for them to call Jessica Muese's name and I watched her in the intervals and she was having a hard time being happy.  I think she sensed doom as all the pretty young thing's names were called before her.  But I loved her country song and twang and wanted the song to go on for awhile.  I'm hoping country fans will vote her through and maybe her semi-emotional response at the end will get her some votes.  She is interesting to me.  I think she is an original. 

I did not really remember MK Nobilette until she started singing and then I did.  As she said last week, she is obviously gay and has obviously gay mothers. She moves me.  I like that she is not over the top and I know she moved the audience.  I'm thinking she ought to be a shoe-in for the top 10 but if she isn't, she will be a wild card.  And rightfully so.  And it doesn't hurt that she is really truly a beauty.  I would have killed for that skin when I was her age.  

I loved Malaya the tuba player in her auditions because she is just so dorky.  Doesn't hurt that way back in the day when my grade school talked about having a band and giving band lessons I wanted to play the tuba myself. I never got the tuba and as I recall the whole band idea fizzled out from either lack of interest or lack of funds.  Her rendition of Ray Charles' Hard Times was over the top but to me, it was over the top in a good genuine way as opposed to some other over the top performances I will get to shortly.

To me the rest of the performers were just also ran and fodder but sadly, I think some of them will impress the voters enough to be in the top 5.  

Majesty Rose seems like a sweet girl.  JLo clearly loves her (it helps she is not too pretty...JLo does not like any challengers to her fairest in the land image).  I was not familiar with the song and it was just sort of so so to me.  At least she didn't do a bunch of excessive showy runs and she does not strike me as a diva wanna bee so I'm ok with her.  

Christen O'Connor is obviously a good person because she is a nurse but to me she is just another pretty girl with a pretty voice and awesome hair extensions.  Her cover of Turn the Tables by Adele got more praise from the the judges than I thought it deserved.  This song SHOULD have made me cry.  It did not.  I don't dislike her but I will be disappointed if she makes it past this round instead of one of my favorites.

Jena Irene got decent reviews from the judges but I thought her performance of Paint It Black was a HOT MESS!  She sang it too fast it seemed to me and she had no friggin idea what the song was about other than *darkness*.  If Mick Jagger had a grave he would be turning in it and I know Siobahn Magnus from Season 9 was cringing.   I really do NOT get the judges fascination with her and while JLo thought she was sultry, I just thought her demeanor was trashy.  Plus, she looked like she needed a shower.   

Bria Anai (Johnson) has been on my hit list since her audition with her horrible stage mother.  Bria is in love with herself and her talent and already thinks she can go toe to toe with Rihanna and Beyonce.  When Randy asked her what she hoped to get out of the extensive musical and performance coaching they were offering her during rush week, her response was that she wanted to work on her styling..or more truthfully...she wanted the show's stylists to tell her how perfect her style is...sparkly lips and all.   She also stated she wanted this experience to *confirm the artist that I am*.  I would like to confirm her one-way ticket back home.  But she confirmed her own brattiness when she got a sour displeased look on her face at Harry's criticism of her shouting over the top performance. (She thought it was a home run standing ovation worthy work of genius).  If she lasts very long I will be calling her Borea.  If that sounds a bit like diarrhea, well that is simply a coincidence.  I have no idea what she sang because I was hating every note. 

The producers chose to follow Borea with her nemesis Marielle who got the Lauren Alaina treatment at the auditions (you ARE the next American Idol).  I was shocked with Harry and Keith did not go gaga over her Gaga/Miley inspired performance of Katy Perry's Roar. Or maybe it was a Katy Perry inspired performance.  Either way it was derivative right down to the bare midriff, red high heels that broke (or she fell over) and semi-twerking.  Keith was right to call it Karaoke.  She may be in trouble, particularly after Borea's histrionics which usually impress the voters and I think they will divide the diva wanna bees' fan base.

And what was with Emily Piriz?  I didn't see her Hollywood performance that the judges loved so much. But what a stupid stupid girl she was to sing the song that Harry said was too old for her and try to sex it up and rock it up.  Clearly it is not who she is if she had to practice it in front of a mirror and Keith pointed that out.  And it is a stupid stupid song to begin with.  I bet it even sounded stupid when Grace Potter (whoever she is) sang it.  She is going down I think.

As for Neco and Ben and the vote off....I didn't really care except Ben still needs to take that stupid hat off so we can see his face.  

I'm obsessing over the word stupid tonight I guess...must be my 4 year old self surfacing.   



Friday, February 14, 2014

No Blogs This Week

I had the best company in the world this week and couldn't tear myself away to watch Idol.  I gather from reading other blogs that Spencer Lloyd did an uninspired original and made the top 30.  Boo hiss.  I also gather that they made Jessica look bad again.  Maybe she is bad. 

I just know I had WAY more fun with my company! 


Friday, February 7, 2014

Update on Spencer Lloyd

Surfing the net about tonight's program, I learned a little bit more about Spencer.  He is a worship leader at a Christian church.  I bet its one of those *prosperity churches* which bilks thousands from its congregation so that its leaders can have gold faucets in their bathrooms and tells the congregation...the more you give the more you will receive.   I have not yet determined what his name will be henceforth.  I'm considering Spinny, but it doesn't reflect his essential dirt bagginess.  I've also thought of Poo Boy but that doesn't have anything to do with his name, just his attitude.  If anyone has any suggestions, I will seriously consider them. 



Thursday, February 6, 2014

If You Wanted It Then You Shoulda Put a Sock in It.

Oh...group night.  My least favorite part of the season.  We saw some drama build up last night and tonight we see the results.  Ryan kept promising we would see  *unforgettable* performances.  Well, I can remember one or two but not for the reason I think Ryan wants us to remember them. 


The first act...Three More Days (or is it Three Mo Days?) is comprised of veterans, including David Oliver Willis (who has a wife).  I cannot remember what they sang but they harmonized nicely and didn't forget the words.  Tony was eliminated for looking at the floor.  I think the judges were a little harsh on Tony given what followed.   Just one comment here.  Can you believe last year's panel ditched David Oliver Willis for Lazaro? 


Up next are three cowboys (I called them that before they did).  I thought they were all great, they worked well together and my only complaint is that they are all going to need major makeovers before they go live.  I'm OK with the plaid shirts (hey it got Phil Phillips the title).  But...Casey needs to get a hairdo that isn't from 1969.  Dexter needs to look like he has recently bathed.  And  Ben, who is there because his wife told him to be, needs to take off that stupid hat so we can see his eyes. Surely if his wife is smart enough to send him to the auditions she is smart enough to tell him to take his hat off.  He is very good but I wonder about his everyday living acumen.


Next was a sort of rush job featuring a few people in various groups.  I don't know if Paula Hunt, the Air Force singer made it through or not.  Brianna Oakley, who was dumped last year did make it through for now. 


My blood pressure has gone up every group night over some villain who unfairly goes through while shoving a member of his or her group under the bus and tonight was no exception.  Spencer Lloyd, who I thought might be interesting to watch from his performance of The Sad Song last night, proved to be this year's villain.  He is an *eligible bachelor*.  I'm beginning to think that Ryan meant to say he is a *confirmed bachelor*.  I have to tell you my gaydar was going crazy.  And not because he apparently hates women.    He treated his group members like they were poo on his shoe.  He picks a song he knows and goes off to *meditate* while refusing to participate in choreography or forming harmonies.   So, they were a hot mess.  Elizabeth over dramatized her solo part enough to get a pass from the judges and they gave Spencer a pass because of The Sad Song, but poor Alyssa went home.  I do not like Spencer.  I hope he fails.  I hope America remembers what a dirt bag he is. I will not let you forget until he is Gone Gone Gone. 


Adam the Sound Healer and Stephanie the cheerleader don't make it through.  You know, they might make an interesting couple.  


Tequila, who I do not think is the second coming of Candace Glover, but who was beginning to grow on me, drops out.  I don't know if she had a group problem or if she just couldn't get with the song selection or if she just couldn't take the pressure.  But I wish she had stayed for at least the solo rounds.  


The next group includes Matthew of no charisma who was my girl Jess's nemesis because he couldn't sing harmony.  His explanation was that Jess was my way or the highway.  I suspect it was that Jess was *may way is the harmony way.  (I almost typed harmonay but that is too cray cray).  Only two emerged from that group (which did not appear enhanced by Matthew's charisma).  Caleb is getting on my nerves he is such a showboat.  CJ Harris made it through which made me happy but I think he made it through on his past performances as Caleb basically took his mike stand and shoved it up his fellow group members rear ends to get to center stage.




Savion somewhat redeemed himself from last night.  I don't know why they sent John from that group home except he has a scary face.
 


I love Murfaid, the Pakistani.  He is such a good heart, standing up for his sick group member Kenkata or Kenyatta (ok..hereinafter she is *the sick girl*).  They let the sick girl through but dumped the blonde one.  Not sure why because they really showed nothing of that group EXCEPT for the sick girl.  The only thing interesting to me about her is that she was sick.
 


And finally, my girl Jess's group is up.  I expected disaster and it was nearly such.  Could she have had a song to sing that was further from her musical style that BeyoncĂ©'s Single Ladies?  I expect big mouth Momager chose that song thinking her little baby would nail it.  Her little baby's voice was thin and weak and she showed zero personality on stage.  Jess did her best with a dumb song and dumber choreography and a big mouth momager giving her orders.  And, of course big mouth mama (who was dancing and screaming in the aisles louder than her little baby sang) has to *confront* Jess after the performance and blame her for her daughter's failure.  Big mouth momager's final thoughts *America isn't going to pick her* are sadly probably correct...but America wasn't going to pick her baby either.  (Big mouth momager did not get the memo that Marielle is the chosen teenager this year). Speaking of chosen and coddled teenagers.  I learned surfing the net last night that Amber, who was coddled and praised to a 4th place finish last year, is pregnant (she may have delivered already).  Her baby daddy is featured on his social media pages doing drugs according to a blog I read.  


The last group was so memorable that I forgot to take notes and now I have forgotten who they were. 


Maybe next week we will find out the top 31.  There are 31 because America will get to choose between 2 of them for the 30th spot.  But then are they going to let the judges winnow them down to 12?  Or will America get to vote on the top 30? 







Wednesday, February 5, 2014

A Town Without Pity

*Two Hundred and Twelve Hopefuls* arrive seemingly en masse and are taken to the Hanger of Hell.  Under orders to pare the field, the judges ask 52 to audition again...in front of their fellow competitors.  Thirty Two dreams were shattered.  I don't know if the judges actually reviewed the audition tapes again or if they just chose the ones who didn't get a unanimous vote at the original auditions but we are treated to a group of the perceived weakest links.  The only 2 who were memorable were the Sound Healer, Adam Roth and Christiane, or as I like to call her Tatiana redux.  Harry and Keith found Adam as radioactive as his song but evidently JLo prevailed on that one (or it was a trade off for some pretty girl JLo didn't like but Harry or Keith did) because he gets on the bus to the hotel.  Christiane on the other hand, fails memorably, with Harry or Keith saying *she is in love with her own voice* and JLo not caring because its one less pretty girl to deal with.  As you recall, Christiane, like Tatiana of Simon's last season, had a come and go accent.  Tatiana had none when she auditioned but when a Puerto Rican guy came on and got some raves, she suddenly had a PR accent too.   She only knew one Whitney Houston song, made a mess of her group on group night, but got surprisingly far for a mediocre drama queen fraud.  Christiane, thankfully, was sent home before she saw the Hollywood sign.  

After the group is down to a more manageable number, we get the preliminary eliminations.  This is where we see who the producers want us to like (or maybe we see those who will be in the finals..hard to know).  I must say that it is nice to see at least the appearance of the judges actually making decisions.  Last year I think they got handed a sheet of paper by the producers and just mouthed the decisions.  And even though its the preliminaries, its pretty clear the male talent pool is vastly superior to last year's pool which confirms the conspiracy theories.   

I'm going to talk about the ones who impressed me one way or the other.  I'm not even going to look at my cheat sheet to see if they make the top 31. 

Spencer Lloyd sang what has become known on the net as The Sad Song (Say Something) and does it well.  I don't know...he may be a force to be reckoned with.  A video of a toddler in his car seat crying through this song has gone viral.  He called it the sad song and so it is.  

Bria screamed impressively and was cheered on by her momager (I wonder if she is the same momager who is bothering my girl Jess Muese during the group night drama?)  I don't like her much.  She is good but nothing new or special. Just another Diva wannabee.  

Selena, the twin who made over her sister Sierra, has a meltdown but makes it through miraculously.  She seems nice enough but I don't like her voice that well.  It just sounds like cheese to me...very hard cheese on a grater. 

I'm starting to be really fond of CJ Lewis, the black sort of country singer who sang Trouble.  

Alex *I'm impressed with myself* Preston makes it through much to my dismay.  He tries too hard to be arty and different.  He holds his mouth funny at times.  Sort of purses his lips like a fish.
I'm pretty sure I'll have LOTS more to say about him down the line. 

I like Maurice Townsend and his little kids.  I'm not so fond of Casey/Jason (???) Thrasher (really...I think his name is Casey...Jason Thrasher would be just too Friday the 13th) and his little kids but I was impressed that he sang the old George Jones' standard *He Stopped Loving Her Today* and he was much better than I remembered him being in his audition.  I just wonder what the story is with his baby mama. 

Two young girls impressed me because they were not diva wannabees nor were they pageant clones like Angie Miller.  I don't remember their last names.  One was Kenzie who looked like an angel and sang like a little devil.  The other was Rachel.  I think they might give the chosen one, Marielle, some trouble if they make it to the voting rounds.  

Speaking of the chosen one, she wasn't featured tonight although I did see her Miley Cyrus/Rihanna image once or twice.  I get her confused with Mallia from Detroit.  I know they look nothing alike.  But their names are similar.  Its not helpful that the chosen one was featured on two different audition episodes...as if she were 2 people.  She will be the death of me! 

Savion Wright's brother died 2 weeks ago.  He wrote a song about it that really wasn't all that good.  His audition was better than his performance tonight.  I like him but...he needs to up his game and I don't want to hear about his dead brother ala Danny Gokey's dead wife for the rest of the season.

Group night had a little less drama than usual.  I felt bad for Jess who got stuck with some guys sadly lacking in the charisma department in her first group.  One guy's voice was going out so he wanted to quit and the other (she said) couldn't harmonize.  She finally ends up in a group with a momager bossing her around which doesn't bode well but beggars cannot be choosers.  I really think the producers ought to do a little more stage managing once there are people without a group.  I also think they should ban the mothers from the group preparation.   The group of girls who called themselves the Fierce or something like that look anything but fierce as they do cliche choreography (I think my 8th grade class stood with our backs to the audience and snapped our fingers while bouncing on one leg to Jingle Bell Rock over 40 years ago) and don't know the words  I suspect the one who is yelling at them to learn the words will forget hers tomorrow night. 

I will be glad when tomorrow is over.  Group night and day is always painful to watch. 

Its colder than the North Pole where I am.  My feet are freezing even in my fuzzy slippers.  There is a lot of snow on the ground too.  And, I don't know yet if my Shockers are still undefeated but I will check that momentarily. I'm such a chicken, I cannot watch the games.

Update:  The Shockers won!    

Stay warm!