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Thursday, March 31, 2011

Tiny Dancer Leaps and Rocket Man Fizzles

*You Won't Believe Who is Going Home* said the opening credits. Nice try producers, but it didn't take a rocket scientist or a rocket man to predict that Naima and Thia had about a 99.5% chance of going home. I was a little surprised that Stefemo out did Paul, but not particularly unhappy about it. I liked Stefemo better than Paul last night even if it is sort of like saying I like Velveeta better than the nutty cheese balls.

The highlight of tonight's entertainment was Scotty and Lauren. Yes, I know. I still don't like Lauren. But Scotty made her sound better. I liked the concept of grouping them up but other than the Scotty/Lauren duo, the rest of the groups were better in concept than in execution...even Band on the Run.

I didn't watch the show Fantasia's season. I take it she has had a tough time since her Idol win what with her moocher family draining all her money and men troubles etc. Good for her she won a Grammy and is on some sort of comeback. That said, as one fat lady to another, I think I would advise her to avoid songs centering on food. And to get a better hairstyle. But she did give the contestants good advice.

Too bad about the Idol mansion leaking and believe it or not I DID feel bad when Lauren fell down the stairs. I don't want bad things to happen to her...except for getting sent home.

No solid word on what the theme next week will be...maybe classic rock songs or songs from the 100 best songs of all time or something.

Now, if you all want to see some real musical talent, I encourage you to check out a group called the Kelley Family on Youtube. com. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwzBuN7jfjw. They are sort of like the Phelps family but they sing.

Equally Mediocre

This is an interesting season for me because (1) I don't have an absolute favorite, and (2) I don't have an absolute nemesis. Each contestant has their good/bad moments, which is boring.

Best to Worst

Haley - Benny! Benny! Benny! Haley's voice has always been unique (which doesn't get much play from the judges), but last night she demonstrated just how interesting she can be. And she got off of that piano in a tight dress without flashing anything, which puts her in my top spot on its own! Absolutely fabulous!

Casey - Just when you thought he had his Hicks impressions in the bag, he goes and totally redeems himself. It doesn't hurt that Your Song is one of my all-time favorite Elton John songs. But Casey made it beautiful by singing it straight, limiting the growling and the weird dancing, and how could I not comment on his new appearance - he's actually pretty good looking when he's not imitating a homeless person!

Lauren Alaina - Oh, yeah, Tee ... this says what you think it says. Finally Lauren stepped away from the booty-shaking performances and just sang with what turned out to be a rather lovely voice.

Scotty - I love how he looked at the song list, saw "Country" and went for it. I've never heard this song, and I have trouble imagining Elton John singing it, but Scotty did pretty well. The shout out to Grandma WAS cheezy, and Grandma got WAY too much camera time.

Stefano - I can't decide if I actually liked his performance, or if I just really like Tiny Dancer and thought Stefano's make-over was awesome. He looked handsome (except what's with the tennis shoes with the suit?), and sang my other favorite Elton John song.

Pia - Zzzzzzz ... oh, sorry, I fell asleep there for a second. The female Pukaletta. Ballad after ballad after ballad. Good voice, but if she has an ounce of creativity, she has yet to show it. Boring.

Durbin - He lit a piano on fire, which was fun. And I do agree with Tee that he genuinely LIKES what he's doing. He has fun, which makes me smile. That's all I've got.

Speaking of cheezy shout-outs ... Paul - "Sing Rocket Man like an encore" could not have meant less to Paul, apparently. Because he basically whispered it beyond recognition.

Naima - Once I got over the fact that she was faking a Jamaican accent, I sort of liked the musical part. Just not her singing. Or her dancing. Or her outfit. Or the fact that she FAKED AN ACCENT.

Jacob - At least he didn't sing "Can You Feel The Love Tonight", which is about the only good thing about his performance. I would go see him on Broadway (assuming I get to go to Broadway someday), but that's it, because it'd be a cold day in hell before I'd buy his CD or see him in concert. Also, I do a KILLER Jacob imitation after a few glasses of wine!

Thia - My brother moved away? THAT'S what you're going with? Seriously? Daniel died in a war. Nice try though, pagent queen. Your stage parents should've coached you better than that.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

She's Got Electric Boobs!

OK, I know the correct words are She's Got Electric Boots but I'm not sure I would know that if I didn't have closed caption on my TV. (Credit to the writers of *27 Dresses* for the electric boobs line). Like all of Bernie Taupin's lyrics, its easy to mix the words up on *Bennie and the Jets* and hard to figure out what they mean unless you have the album liner or closed caption in front of you when you are listening to them. Or maybe its just me. Why do I have closed caption you ask? Well, I like to watch Gordon Ramsey whose accent I don't understand very well unless he is being bleeped so one day I asked Mr. Auntee to put the closed caption on to watch Hell's Kitchen and now I cannot figure out how to take it off. And it comes in handy sometimes, like tonight.

First, a confession, I actually voted tonight for the first time since the top 13 were announced. Not obsessively (the lines were too busy for that). I know who I want to go home tomorrow and I have a prediction about who will go home tomorrow, but I am not very confident in my prediction and I KNOW my wishes about who goes home will not come true.

Scotty gets the death slot. So called, because people generally forget the #1 performer. Perhaps the performance order is part of the nefarious plot to undermine Scotty with the voters, but it will fail. Particularly after that performance. Scotty went back to his proper and amazing low range and killed it. I didn't know this song but when the forum people said Scotty should sing it (the only *country* song Elton John ever did evidently), I went to Youtube to hear Elton sing it. Elton was just pretending he was singing a country song. Scotty not only made this song his own, he made it a country song. And how about not buckling to Jimmy Iovine and singing the verse to his grandma. I suppose shouting out to grandma could have come off as cheesy. For some reason, it just seemed very natural and Scotty to me. And, I got tears in my eyes I was so proud of him! This was before I poured my wine for the evening too.

Well, Naima, I think you have about a 75% chance or greater of not still standing on the stage next week. Gotta give her credit for taking chances. She is just going to do what she wants to do. I actually liked the Reggae. The judges did not. So, probably America will not. She is, in my opinion, the most purely beautiful in appearance of the women this year. But, I think she is probably going home and in the bottom three for sure.

The forum junkies predicted that Paul would sing *Your Song*. He sang *Rocket Man* instead. I don't think he carried off what he was trying to do. He listened to Randy last week, so he did his *tender voice* (a little too much.) I still think him coming out and saying *how are y'all tonight* is cheesier than those cheese balls you see on buffet tables that are covered with nuts that no one ever eats. Basically I was bored. I would not have wanted to attend the concert that preceded this encore performance. I would send him home for never living up to the expectations I had for him at the beginning and his generally cheesy, skinny, weasleness. I think he will stay at least another week.

PiA sings another ballad. Very well too, although can someone tell these contestants to ditch the choir in the robes? I loathe them. They add nothing to anyone's performance who can actually sing (although they carried Lee DeWyze to the title last year). I still am not in love with her but admire her technical abilities. She is going to sing River Deep Mountain High next week (which I gather from Youtube was recently performed on Glee) made famous by Tina Turner 20 plus years before PiA was born, but also sung by...wait for it...CELINE DION! So..I'm not sure if the theme next week is the 60s, Tina Turner, Celine Dion, or sons recently sung on Glee, but we will be getting some up tempo from PiA (with, I predict, about as much excitement as the rag doll mentioned in the first line of the song). But...I want PiA to stay in. One of these days, I'm going to be voting my little fingers off for her.

Stefemo does Tiny Dancer, another song which I appreciated having closed caption for. He was fine. He kept his eyes open. He put out his hand to Jlo. I'm basically indifferent to Stefemo. I'm thinking maybe there are others in America who agree with me and he might find himself in the bottom 3 again.

And NOW, singing the BEST SELLING SINGLE IN THE WORLD...comes Lauren Alaina. I had said on the forums that if someone sang Candle In the Wind I would throw up (many were very excited about the prospect of their favorite singing this song...especially the *Princess Di* version...what with the Royal Wedding coming up and all). Well, thanks to the fact that Elton John will never let anyone sing the *Princess Di* version ever again (a fact which the forum people were not thrilled to learn from me), we were spared that maudlin spectacle. Unfortunately, we were not spared the twangy, calf bleating, countrified breathy version sung by Lauren Alaina. I don't know why the judges like her. The only saving grace tonight it was it was a difficult song for her to do her normal lap dancing moves to the judges with. But she made up for that by her outfit and *shaking it up* in the commentary. Silly little calf. I know that one day I am going to be dialing my fingers to the bone for PiA so that PiA knocks her out of the competition.

Everyone predicted James would do Saturday Night is All Right For Fighting (another song I'm glad I had closed caption for). This kid just makes me smile. I know KK thinks he is Adam Lambert II but I don't agree. I'm not even a big rock fan. He just makes me smile and I think its because he just loves doing whatever he is doing out there and its infectious.

Oh Thia...she made me cry too but my wine glass was 3/4 empty by that time. Yes, she is robotic and pageanty. Yes, I didn't like her at the beginning. Now, she just breaks my heart. Her voice is wonderful. She is just too young (and perhaps too stage parented) for this experience. Unlike Lauren, she cannot pull off a *oh...aren't I just so young and sassy and clueless* persona. I liked how she mentioned her older brother but WHY don't these kids do a little bit of googling as to a song's history. This song is about a wounded and disillusioned Viet Nam veteran (or perhaps one KIA whose body is on the way to Spain from Nam), not some guy going off to college. Bottom three I think, although I voted for her once or twice out of empathy.

Casey redeems himself singing Your Song. He can actually sing and not growl. I think Casey thinks a lot of himself. I think he got a wake up call last week. He is not going to be showing off how edgy he is anymore. This week he picks the Elton John song EVERYONE knows and loves and plays it straight. A nice job and he won't be in the bottom three. I don't think I can vote for him though...if you want to know why, check out the latest on votefortheworst.com about his propensity to send phone pix to women. The rumor may not be true. But why take a chance when I like Scotty and James so much more?

Jacob has worn out whatever favor I had for him. He looked like he was in agony tonight singing that song and I couldn't help but think perhaps he had a case of severe constipation and stomach cramps. Tone down the queening, preening camp Jacob, or you will be going home in a couple of weeks.

Hailey (Haley) sings Bennie and the Jets! She must have had a lot of votes last week because Randy doesn't hate her anymore. I don't think it was necessarily the best performance of the night but it was in the top three or four along with Scotty and James. Lots more interesting than PiA. And, I sorta thought, she could BE Bennie with electric boobs or boots and a mohair suit! I hope she is safe this week. I bet Lauren pouted up a storm when Steven said Hailey sings sexy.

I am glad that the producers are letting the contestants do a little more of their own in terms of interacting with the audience ala Scotty and Naima doing shout outs (even cheese ball Paul) and Stefemo holding out his hand to Jennifer. Simon would never have stood for those stage tricks, but then who misses Simon?

So...prediction as to bottom three? Naima, Stefemo, and Thia. Maybe Jacob as I think he is wearing pretty thin at this point. Who do I WANT to go home? Lauren, Lauren and Lauren.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Hicks-alike is Staying Alive

Casey, Casey, Casey. I like him. A lot. I don't want to see the resemblance to Taylor Hicks. Do they both growl? Yeah. Do they both do weird dancing? Yeah. But Casey is awesome and Taylor Hicks is lame.

Plus, do you really think a save used on Taylor Hicks would've been so emotional? I teared up. Seriously. He was genuinely thrilled and surprised ... but he was the only one ... because everybody else knew he'd be saved!

I needed to post because Tee and I disagree on some things. My husband tells me that I was "off", and that I wasn't hearing things right (because I disagree with him, too). But here's my take on Motown Week:

I don't get it:

Jacob. He seems like a nice guy, but would you really buy a CD with his over-the-top, theatrical, drama-songs? Reuben Studdard anybody? The judges are constantly fawning over him, my husband puts him in the top performers every time, Tee loves him. I must be missing something.

Durbin. He's okay, for a Lambert wanna be. But he's Lambert minus creativity. We get it, you're a rocker. Next.

Naima dancing. Weird. I mean, I guess she's talented. So, go on America's Got Talent. What happened to "this is a singing competition"?

Bad raps

Lauren Alaina wasn't horrible. I actually kind of liked her little performance (but was again uncomfortable with her rubbing up on the judges).

And Scotty did Motown right, I thought. Even put a little country twist into it. And what's with the wink and the nod into the camera, Scotty? You know you're a cute little thing, don't you?

Steffano is actually really good. Does he close his eyes (a move that has previously driven me insane - Pukaletta)? Yeah. He lacks a little emotion, too, I guess. But he's got a beautiful voice and seems like a great kid. (Disclaimer: His lack of creativity will get boring fast.)

Pia - I agree with the judges that she needs to get over the ballads.

Next to go (in KK's world)

Thia botched the words and was appropriately scolded for it by being (hopefully) knocked down a peg and sent to the stools. You're not invincible, pretty little pagent girl.

And just a quick comment on Hottie Paul. I haven't researched this myself, but have it on good authority that he has a band, who has songs for sale on iTunes, and they're decent songs. Is that fair? I don't know. But I'm sure some voters will get wind of it and think it's not.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Let's Give Scotty a Double Whammy!

Not content with making Scotty's life hard with Motown week, Idol producers have once again selected a *theme* for next week. It is Elton John week! I have nothing against Elton John other than the words to his songs make no sense and no one even knows what half of them are, but I do know a nefarious plot when I see one! I'm only half-kidding.

I only hope we are spared Lauren singing *The Bitch is Back*.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Oh What A Night!

At about 6:20 pm tonight, on day 6 of a terrible cold/infection/whatever illness that is resisting all remedies known to man, I was dozing on the couch and thinking *hmm...if I fall asleep before Idol, I can always catch up on Hailey's elimination later...who cares about a stupid Ford video?*. Fortunately, little J called to check on my well-being and got me awake enough to turn on tonight's result show.

First, let me say, I'm thrilled the illness has sapped my predictive powers. Hailey is going on Tour! She wasn't even in the bottom three. Somewhere in America, enough honest souls saw she was getting the shaft and rallied to her cause!

Nygel Lythgoe tweeted this am that tonight would have some shocking news. Nygel is a big drama queen so most of the hard-core fans thought they would probably be announcing something like the Idols moving into a new mansion (the old one apparently leaked like a sieve and they had to move out this week..so much for 5 million dollar houses in LA) or that Simon Cowell will make a guest appearance as a mentor next week. No one thought it would be a shock elimination (including me...but when considered what a shocking elimination would consist of...I thought Casey...believe me or not).

But the show was so packed with out of the ordinary stuff...Stevie Wonder surprising at least one judge (Steven Tyler)...Steven's birthday song...Hulk Hogan knocking Ryan off the stage after the James/Paul WWE preview, I was pretty sure Nygel's shock had already occurred. Not to mention a new mentor in the form of Marc Anthony (aren't he and JLo the nicest people in the world? I never knew that about them and hope they live happily ever after).

The dim the lights moments went pretty much according to plan at first, and I do like the way Ryan is not milking the suspense so much this year. I cannot remember who they sent to safety first, Naima or Hailey, but I was glad that they did not make either of them suffer the suspense for a long time.

I was not terribly surprised to see Thia in the bottom three as she is just boring even though her voice is good. Obviously, Jason wasn't going to be there. So...we get Stefemo and Casey and I'm thinking Casey is going to be sent right back to the couch and we would have to endure another emo performance from Stefemo. I was just thinking it was a bad week for the Emo family since Gordan Ramsey dissed his mother's pasta last night, and suddenly Casey is standing there all by himself. Randy is ready to storm the stage, JLo is in shock and Steven is shaking his head probably thinking someone slipped him some drugs as he is now in some alternate universe. Stefemo hugs and cries on Casey way too long, Naima looks pissed as hell, andJames has a full blown Tourette's attack (bless his heart).

Casey bravely starts growling his song, his parents are hugging each other with tears in their eyes, and Randy STOPS THE SHOW! Let there be no doubt who is the judge in charge here. And I knew the save was on.

Which is not, in my opinion, a mistake. A mistake would have been saving Stefemo or Thia or Lauren. At least now they cannot use it to save Lauren.

Jlo, gives Casey some good advice. Stop the growling. Ironically, the growling saved Hailey this week. Oh well. Art is not consistent.

So, all eleven will go on tour which is not a problem for me given that Lauren was NEVER going to be cut out of the top 10 and that I will not see the tour in any event.

A note on the guest artists (other that Stevie). The woman's voice in Sugarland went through me like a knife. Jennifer Hudson was great but wouldn't the song be just as effective if instead of the bad grammar *Where You At?* refrain, the refrain was *Where Are You?* Just sayin'.

Next week two go home.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Pick A Theme to Screw Scotty (aka Motown Week).

I love Motown. I just wish the producers motives had not been so transparent in choosing Motown this week. At some point, the producers announced they would not do theme weeks this season, so each contestant could *be who they are*. Evidently, they changed their mind. Perhaps because one contestant is running away with the competition?

I predicted in a post on the AI forums Casey would do Grapevine. The music advisors wisely told him to slow down the Nirvana train he did not want to jump off of yet and it came off pretty well. I must confess, his growling is getting a bit tiresome. Not really a *moment*, but not bad either. Or so my notes said. By the end of the show I had pretty much forgotten about Casey.

I also predicted Thia would do something more up tempo and be praised for her growth. Sadly, she brought about as much heat to the wave as an ice cube. She also messed up the words. Which was not mentioned.

I predicted Jacob just might take to the invisible wires in a tutu with wings and soar above the audience this week. He did so metaphorically. Ryan prolongs his moment of glory by having a bunch of girls come up and hug him. Which sort of steals some time and thunder away from the next contestant, Lauren. I guess Ryan is paying her back for trying to get him sick last week. Don't mess with Ryan, contestants...he can be your best friend or your worst enemy.

I thought Lauren might do a ballad. No, she just does what she wants to do and always does...a song that she can sex up and shake her head and butt about on and go make eyes at the judges with...every..single...week. I wish she would stop hanging on. I am certainly not keeping her hanging on. I want her to LET GO...far away. She said people have been saying mean things about her online. I guess that would be me because from what I can tell she is universally beloved by the entire Idol Forum Board. I have actually not said bad things about her on the board for fear of being stalked and shot.

Stefemo (my name is getting more and more appropriate for him as even the Jimmy guy said he is pure emotion...or the song is..or something). He says he will keep his eyes open but he cannot. Before Stefemo sings, Ryan reminds the crowd that David Cook had a moment with this song in his season. I knew then this was going to be another overwrought performance and that Stefemo has ticked Ryan off in some way.

Hailey does You Really Got A Hold On Me. She is basically told *you might as well do whatever the hell you want to do because your going home anyway*. She comes out and gives it her best shot and we see her voice go all over the place. I liked it even if it was also overwrought, but it is too late for Hailey. She has been trashed for the last 3 weeks and has no fan base.

Oh Scotty.... I love you Scotty but that wasn't really very good and you probably should not have tried to country it up. I hoped you would sing My Girl. I thought the judges would be harder on him than they were. The joke appears to be on Scotty haters, however. According to DialIdol.com he is running away with the votes. He is safe but he has lost some momentum which was what this week is designed to do.

PiA sings another ballad. Altogether now, to the tune of I Am Woman let us sing: *Yes I sing high notes and Yes I sing on key. Yes I sing Celine but tonight I'll sing Stevee. I am loud, I am beautiful, I am PIAAAAA!*

Paul says Motown makes him want to move. Thats all we need is more movement from Paul. He sings a classic Tracks of My Tears just like Rod Stewart would sing it (and probably did) but forgets to move. He pronounces the words *with you* as *witchoo*. The judges loved it. Especially the last three notes where he was *tender*. And no one can confuse him with ANYONE else (except for Rod Stewart).

Naima wants to dance. She made a wise choice with her song and managed to sing it on key I think. But its a happy song and she looked happy singing and dancing to it so go Naima!

Finally, James Durbin. I think he is amazing.

Worst performance of the night? Lauren Alaina (oh, ok, it was probably Scotty). Going home? Hailey.

Saturday, March 19, 2011


Motown Theme next week. Guess Scotty is getting too many votes for the producer's comfort so they are changing their original plan of *no theme weeks* in order to even the playing field. Vote for Scotty this week in protest!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Karen Flames Out

This elimination did not bring me the joy that last week's elimination did. Especially when Karen sang Hero and I remembered that she can sing very well and can be rather moving when she does. Sadly, she couldn't sing Hero every week. Poor song choices, nerves, or whatever, caught up with her...plus entirely too much pimping of PiA and Thea and Lauren.

The Idols started out with Born to Be Wild...a marvelous song. I was really enjoying it until they threw in that other song...whatever it was. Makes you wonder if that Jimmy guy is really the genius he is hyped up to be, assuming he was responsble for that very odd juxtaposition.

Lee De Wyze sings again. And goes off pitch in the middle of the song. How did this guy win again? Oh yeah..last wgwg standing. Nice guy, though.

The Black Eyed Peas sing the same melody all the time only with different words. I guess it is the new fad to infuse a rap song with a woman singing an actual melody with coherent lyrics and alternating that with rap crap that has nothing to do with the lyrics sung by the woman. I'm not a fan. Not to mention that the song was auto-tuned and reverberated all to heck.

My prediction accuracy is beginning to scare me. At this point, I don't have a real favorite so it is kind of fun to sit back and just watch what they all do each week. I'm not even voting. I'm sort of rooting for Hailey and Naima to pull it out next week, but I'm pretty sure they will not. One of them is going home next week.

It Was a Year (continued)

Now that my tummy is full of pancakes and scrambled eggs, I can focus better. Perhaps it was the hunger last night, but I thought the entire program lacked energy. And that the judges were trying to manufacture energy as they went along. Of course, some of the contestants were sick. And a lot of song were from the 80s, which is not a decade of pop music I know well. So here is my recap...admittedly colored by my mood and musical ignorance.

Naima does Tina Turner. Her voice just isn't strong enough for Tina and it was not a barnstorming performance. The judges said she was pitchy and I had to agree even though I don't normally hear pitchy when the judges do as I do NOT have perfect pitch. I think she will be in trouble this week.

Paul has a cold. Rumor has it he also has a nodule or nodules on his vocal cords which demand surgery but he is putting it off. Which may or may not account for his unique raspy voice. I like Elton John and I like that song. I don't like Paul coming out and saying *how ya all doing* and throwing other shoutouts to the audience in the middle of his songs. That is just cheesy. He still is jumping around in an unattractive manner. To me he is getting worse every week. And I wanted to like him.

Thea does Vanessa Williams (isn't this a song from Pocohontas?). The song was age appropriate and her voice is crystal clear and on key but once again she looked like she was in a beauty pageant (ala Miss Williams). I was glad that Randy agreed with me on the pageant point. I don't get what a fox howling at a blue corn moon has to do with the earthquake in Japan and the slaughter of Libyan citizens but I suppose she meant well in trying to choose a song that had something to do with *what is going on in the world*. I used to not like her. Now I have sympathy for her. She also wrote a song called *And I Will Always Love You* when she was six and before she heard of Whitney Houston. Believe that if you want to do so. But, evidently she still hasn't heard of Dolly Parton. Sort of like Charlie *Chapman*.

James Durbin does Bon Jovi and Steven is worried he is getting too poppy. I didn't get what Steven meant by poppy...but later it dawned on me that he thought James might be going too far away from rock. James makes a HUGE blunder by talking about what he is going to sing in the finale. America is now thinking he is not only poppy but poppy-cocky and it may cost him some votes. He needs to humble down a bit.

Hailey does Whitney. Last week Jennifer said Hailey should do pop so Hailey does pop and Randy still hates her. She was a little affected in her mannerisms and should have sung a better known song but I didn't think she was THAT awful. She is in trouble though...for some reason no one likes her. I'm wondering if she is not working as hard as the others because the Jimmy guy said *it all comes down to work ethic* and if that is what is driving the Hailey hate train from the producers and Randy. Who knows? If she isn't gone this week, she will probably be gone the next week and that is too bad because she is the only girl who has a voice that interests me in the slightest.

Stefano considered Milli Vanilli but opted for some other guy whose name I have forgotten and sang an emo version of If You Don't Know Me by Now. I think it would have been a hoot if he had done Milli Vanilli...who themselves didn't do Milli Vanilli! Like Thea he evidently knows no music history. Even I know that Milli Vanilli didn't sing their songs. I'm tired of him and his over the top emotional mannerisms. From now on, he is Stefemo to me.

PiA sang Whitney Houston (of course). A little bit more up tempo than her usual Whitney Houston/Celine Dione ballads. Well sung. I just don't like her belting style. Will she do Mariah next week? The suspense is killing me!

Scotty sings Travis Tritt and in the interest of growth abandons his extraordinary lower register which just makes his performance ordinary. Go back to singing low Scotty.

Karen doesn't want to be known as just a Spanish singer. I don't remember what song she sang but it wasn't by Selena. She also sung part of it in Spanish. So we would know that she is not just a Spanish singer. Seriously, this was her best performance so far but it was also not extraordinary. And I don't mind her singing in Spanish...just don't double talk us.

Casey Abrams takes a big risk and does Nirvana and for some reason is allowed to play his bass. Oh Casey. I don't know about this. I think you might have lost some old ladies out there. I loved his parents though. They were a HOOT! Sometimes I do want to tell Casey to chill out a bit.

And here comes our little ray of sunshine Lauren Alaina singing I'm the Only One a fitting song for her personality as she thinks she is the One (evidently she hasn't heard of Obama). She has the flu so she comes out and gives hands Ryan a face mask that has been balled up in her germy paws and expects him to put it on. How cute! She sings like she normally does (a baby cow) and then to be especially cute, fake coughs on Ryan as he is giving the audience her numbers...*just kidding*....yeah get Ryan sick you little self-centered brat. If I were Ryan, I would stay 5 feet away from her for the remainder of her stay on Idol.

And Jacob comes on to sing Alone by Heart, which is the very last song I would ever have expected him to sing. And he is so over the top with it, I'm surprised he didn't have some sort of platform taking him to the stars. I'm losing some love for Jacob. Although his mother was funny.

So...I was NOT impressed last night with anyone in particular. I don't think anyone had a very good year.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

It Was A Year

Some very good, some not so good, some verging on annus horribulis. But...I am cranky tonight because I have had no solid food today due to a procedure tomorrow. I don't do hungry well. And of course, Idol had all the restaurant chains advertising tonight and I wanted all of it...even the fake roast beef at Arbys.

So, I have decided to do my blog tomorrow when I have a better disposition. I will (sadly) predict that Naima, Hailey, and Karen are in the bottom three.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Yay! KK is BAAACK!! And An Udate on Casey.

Hope she can find the time for more posts as we need something besides my crotchety grandtee views (I am now officially *Grandtee* to my grand-nieces and grand-nephews.)

First things first. I read that Casey's health issues involve a bleeding ulcer. Just call me Dr. House. But, that can be very serious and I hope that they can do something to help him out so it is not a recurring problem. Crystal said the show provided her with the best medical care she ever received in her life so I hope it does the same for Casey.

Second, my opinion of the candidates is not that much off the mark from KK's opinions although I like James Durbin better than she does and Paul MacDonald less. And, I really don't dislike Pia, I just find her style not that interesting. Its not that she screams so much as she is a belter like Celine and Whitney and that has been done and done to death on this show and in the world of music. I like a little more subtlety and jazz to the voice, like Hailey. But, I must say that Pia is a beautiful young woman and I like her for not being vain about it and appearing in her glasses and hair in a pony. I think she is a hard worker too.

But truly, other than Lauren, I LIKE all the rest of the candidates. Even Thia who I didn't like at first is endearing herself to me as a person (not as a performer). I think she has a Tiger Mom and that explains her robotic stiffness.

I read no instruments next week either (BOOOOOO!). So we will see what they all come up with.


First, I need to apologize for my non-existent postings. In the interest of full-disclosure: I have a 16 month old daughter and a 1 month old son (an endeavor that I don't recommend for anybody). If I get 5 seconds to myself, I normally take a shower instead of get online. I do hope to be a more regular contributor from here on out.

I am thrilled beyond belief that "Miss Thong" is gone. I can remember one performance (group day) that I liked. Every other performance of hers I've wanted to scream "are the judges listening to something else entirely?" The only good thing about her was the Fro, which was fantastic.

Here's the order in which I'd send the rest of the contestants home:

Steffano - Stevie Wonder + dance remix. Enough said.

Karen "I'm Latina" Rodriguez - We get it, you're Latina. We get it, you speak spanish. Next.

Lauren Alaina - While I don't share Auntee's hatred for her, she can only float on Steven Tyler's lust for so long.

Thia - While her voice is okay, she bores me.

Naima - I'd like to hang out with her, but mainstream America won't "get" her.

Jacob Lusk - He does have his fantastic moments, but he's TOO much. I would've liked him so much better if he would've done R Kelly's Trapped in the Closet.

Lambert 2.0 - Been done before.

Hailey - I fear that her ability to sing a broad spectrum of songs will ultimately kill her, which is weird because other contestants get praised for that.

Hottie Paul - My husband would be so mad that I put Paul this high on the list, because he's a fan. But he's too quirky to make it to the end.

Casey - I was totally on the Casey-to-win train until somebody pointed out a resemblance to Taylor Hicks (which I refuse to agree with at this point.)

Pia - Blows my mind that Auntee considers her a screamer, because I think she's amazing.

Scotty McCreery - AI producers should ride this teenage money train all the way to the bank. I'm surprised he's not already at home rolling around in his piles of cash. There was a time when I'd make dirty sexual comments about Scotty, but now that I have a son of my own, I fear I would just sound like a dirty old lady. So instead I'll say that I'd like to adopt little Scotty as my own son so that I could pinch his cheeks and watch my husband play catch with him in the back yard. I love me some Scotty (And I hate country music.)

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Goodbye Miss Thong.

Well, I am not sorry to see Miss Thong go. America didn't like her before and she didn't win them over with pretending to be Diana Ross. And, while I criticized her for not singing a well-known Diana Ross song, I am grateful she didn't subject us to that well-known but nauseating *And I Am Telling You* as the door hit her thong on the way out. Sweet Karen had a reprieve, and poor Haley. Any other year, with all the themes, Haley's versatility would be a plus. Now they want her to find her slot and stick to it. Maybe she should just sing *And I Am Telling You* or *Hallelujah* next week to make them happy.

I had to google Diddy Dirty Money. I didn't understand it was a band. I thought it was Sean Combs, Puff Daddy, Puff Diddy singing and that he changed his name once again. As he and JLo were once an item, I was interested to see if anything would happen between them but it was all very professional.

Adam Lambert showed us his soft side again. And he is a songwriter now. About alienation, and not fitting in and well...being gay. Why does every song these days have to have a chorus where one note jumps an octave and then comes back down? Other than that predictable element in his song, he was fine. I think he is a nice man. And he is giving to charity. So, good for him.

Casey is in the hospital once more. Before it was stomach problems. I will try to find out what his problem is. He doesn't LOOK frail, but maybe he has ulcers or something.

And, I learned about the new dance craze, the Duggy or the Dougie (it is listed both ways on You Tube). You evidently move your arms like in the Chicken Dance and make your legs bowlegged while you hop around. Cool...or as KK would say awesome!

Lauren boo hood her way to the couch endearing herself to thousands of gullible fans who do not see through her manipulations. I fear I will have to bear with that little tart for a very long season.

According to Dial Idol, which was famously wrong last week on the girl's eliminations, Scotty is America's favorite. Even the tweens and teens are falling for him according to the forum boards. Fine by me. I'm not to the point where I am going to obsessively vote for him but I have no objection to pink cell phones doing it for me. Obviously, if you hate country music you will be upset at the Scotty love.

I am ready for Nigel Lythgoe to let them play their instruments. I think they all do instruments, except for Ultimate Grand Supreme Lauren. OOOH that girl gets on my very LAST nerve!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

My Idol..no...really...!

Sources say that one of the changes this year is doing away with the *Theme Weeks* and letting the Idols pretty much sing what they want to sing in their own genres. Of course, the other change is that if they happen to have talents other than singing (like being a real musician and playing instruments) then they cannot use them (or only 5 times this season). So...tonight's theme is Who is My Idol?

My first question was who is going to get the death slot (#1) and who will get the pimp slot (last) and I must say I would have been shocked to learn the order of performance if I had read about it before the show. After seeing the show, I think the producers got that part almost exactly right.

Some of the contestants actually seemed to have a musical idol and others just seemed to glom onto someone they think that the judges think should be their idol. About half of the songs were retreads from Season 9. Only one of the retreads was arguably better than the Season 9 performance. But thank god, no one said Jeff Buckley was their idol so we were spared another version of Hallelujah! (No one knows that Leonard Cohen wrote that song...or even who Leonard Cohen is...they think Jeff Buckley owns that song).

So..let us begin with:

Sweet Lauren A, Steven's protegee who has NEVER even had a slight critique since she came to Hollywood. She says Shania Twain is her idol. Funny, Steven Tyler was her idol when she auditioned but she is young and can change her mind or allow the producers to do it for her. She sings *Any Man of Mine* and strongly resembles an overaged contestant in a Toddlers and Tiara's pageant as she does so. Shania Twain Week in Season 9 just about derailed everyone but it particularly derailed Siobahn the Magnificent who arguably didn't fail as much as Lauren but...it is a fail for both performances. Lauren was all happy pappy thinking her buddy Steven was going to love her and was SHOCKED to learn that her poop can stink from time to time. *Its Up To America Now*. I think America will put her through so her poop can stink again, but it shouldnt do so.

Casey's idol is Joe Cocker. I can almost believe this. Except Joe Cocker was in the final broadcast of Season 9 singing that same song with Crystal and Lee (and I LOVE that song) so...I'm wondering if Cocker is really Casey's idol or if the producers thought he ought to be. I have to say I got a goosebump or two and Casey succeeded. Of course, no one can really mess up this song as far as I'm concerned, even me in the shower.

Miss Thong does Miss Ross. My guess is that Miss Thong had never heard of Diana Ross until the judges mentioned her and immediately looked her up on her I phone or whatever and then found this lame song that no one has ever heard of. If Miss Ross were truly Thong's idol, she would have come out with a Diana Ross song that the audience had actually heard Miss Ross sing. On a mountain . Or in a Valley, Or at at
stop sign, or in the morning.

Paul MacDonald actually has an idol and his name is Ryan Adams. I have never heard of him and neither has Jennifer, but Randy knows all about Ryan Adams. I had high hopes for Paul until he started doing his very strange dance to a very strange song. The judges said *I hope America gets it*. I didn't get it and I really WANTED to. Can he just stand still and not make Danny Gokey look like Mikhail Barishnokov?

PiA. The Capital A is for her very type A personality. You cannot hate this beautiful woman who sings like....wait for it...Celine Dionne! (Except not so good). She is beautiful, a hard worker, and BOOOORING!

Adam Who? Ok, I am officially saying that if James Durbin wins, I will not be one bit unhappy. I don't know if Paul McCartney is his idol or if the producers have a deal with Sir Paul to have someone sing that song each season. Poor Crystal got pretty sabotaged with it last season in the finale (but did great with it for a woman pretending to be a man). I got tears in my eyes when James sang this song. Yes, Adam could hit the same notes but he was acting and James is not. I love this kid. In my opinion, this is one of the all time best performances I have seen on Idol. Made Pia's performance last week look like cold mashed potatoes.

Haley is my favorite female. As she was singing I thought of Patsy Cline and was surprised to learn this was a song that was intended for Patsy to sing. I hope America gets her.

Jacob has impressed me two weeks in a row. He sang I Gotta Fly or something that Aaron Kelly sang last year. He lost me when the gospel singers came out. I don't know who R Kelly is but then I don't know R&B. I didn't fly.

Thia Megia, like Thong, decided her idol was going to be the person that the judges thought she resembled. So, she chooses Smile. Which is somehow connected to Michael Jackson and not Charlie Chaplin (I suspect Thia thought Michael wrote the song). When Paige sang it last season she burst into tears and horrible notes and got voted off. It might have been nice if someone had warned Thia of that fact. She is a robot. Her voice was good until she tried to outdo Lauren in the Toddlers and Tiara's contest and went into pageant mode. I do think, however, that Thia at least made it to Miss Teenage America and not Little Miss Glitz Peaches in terms of talent.

Stefano...I should love Stevie Wonder. Well I do love him but not his music so much. I don't want to hear it much. Or Stefano. But, at least it wasn't a retread of a song some losing idol had sung before.

Karen...you looked beautiful. Enough said.

Scotty is going to go very very very far. I like his voice. He is good.

Naima surprised me. She IS truly beautiful. All I know about Rihanna is that she has bad hair and her boyfriend beat her up., I liked this song for Naima.

Going home: Karen or Thia but should be Lauren.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Wild Things

Watching Idol all of these years has made me a pretty good predictor! I missed on Haley and thought R&B voters would carry AshTHON (I have been spelling her name wrong all this time..I'm just going to make up for that by calling her Thong..if only to punish her parents for that ridiculous spelling). And for some reason, I thought America would like Brett (*I'm a burnt cookie*) Lowenstern because he was an underdog. But, on second thought, it occurred to me that maybe, despite his kind nature, he was starting to get on America's nerves as much as mine with all that hugging and hair shaking. Not to mention his stupid self referential metaphors. I'm more than happy to be wrong about Paul and Haley. I like them better than anyone sent to the stools and some of those sent to the couch. The Dim the Lights Drama and the montages took up way too much time, but maybe thats because the top ten were not all that surprising.

So, the show was really about the Wild Cards. NO ONE likes this format and think Nigel Lythgoe made an uncharacteristic blunder in cutting so many all at once. But...after next week, I will be saying Julie who? Jovany who? and be over it.

One only had to look at the 5 girls on the couch to know that Thong was going to be joining them. Idol has never lived down the early departure and subsequent fame (without their help) of Jennifer Hudson. So, of course, Thong chooses Jennifer Hudson's signature song to remind the judges of this injustice. She belts out And I Am Telling You (and I am telling you I am SICK of this song) and makes sure she is all haughty and divaish about it, just in case anyone forgets that she is the new Miss Ross. I suppose I will now have to call her Miss Thong.

Evidently James Durbin and Stefano have a big Bromance which explains why they were the last two standing when the lights dimmed. I was pretty sure Stefano would be asked to sing. I didn't have a problem with him until he was interviewed at the start of the show and talked about how hard it was going to be to see his buddies go home. Maybe it was just him being nervous, but I was thinking at the time *buddy...I think YOUR going home*. I just am not a big fan of his tone..or his singing either. But, JLo loves him. So Robbie and Jovany really were just fillers at that point. I'm not sorry about Robbie as his melismatic mania was already passe when David Archuleta used it. Jovany, I thought, was just made to needlessly suffer more suspense only to be disappointed.

I like Naima. I also liked Kendra. Kendra started too low and soft and Naima was off key a bit, but heartfelt. I wish Kendra was in instead of Miss Thong. Unless Naima pulls a big moment next week, I fear she may be the first to go.

As for the teens, Thia and Lauren A, I am going to have to suffer them for a long long time. At least Thia can sing even if she is a robot. Lauren A and her sense of entitlement will provide me with many more catty moments of blogging so in that respect, her presence is not a total waste of airtime.

The best moment of the show for me, was Clint Dung standing in the group of three and looking like he was going to throw up from nerves. I think he may have thought he had made it through at that point as Jordan and Jovany were reviewed more harshly than he was on Tuesday night. I think it was pretty clear that this trio got the least amount of votes. The second best moment was when neither he nor Jordan were asked to sing in the wild card round. Sorry guys, but maybe you learned a bit about Karma. Fortunately, you will not have a second chance to appear on Idol. Go home to the Karaoke bar and the students (who were probably the only ones voting for Jordan...in the hopes he would never come back to plague them). Karma is a wonderful thing!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Its A Mad World

I just checked dialidol.com, and it is showing the number one vote getter as Ta Tynisha! I then went to Vote For the Worst to see if she was their selection because that might have skewed the votes, but they chose Rachel Zevita as the worst. The gays at VFTW (that is not a typo...they are proudly gay and make fun of all the gay contestants on Idol) think the girls sing better than the guys. WTF? I'm in upside down land here.

It also looks like Smart Aleck Lauren is safe. As well as Julie Zorilla. Pia and Thia are in fourth and fifth place. So, my predictions are 3/5 right if dialidol is on the mark.

I am baffled at the Ta Tynisha love.

Battle of the Belters Leaves Auntee Cold

Ryan asks: Who do you Love? No one enough to do more than put in a cursory vote or 2. I believe its going to be a man's year once again. Probably a WGWG (White Guy With Guitar).

My review of the performances in order:

Ta Tynisha: Ta Ta Ta Tynisha. I had never heard that song and your version doesn't inspire me to want to hear it again. You warbled and you hurt my ears. I think Steven and JLo were just trying to be nice. Randy was right...except I don't think it was *just OK*. I think it was not ok. And I hate your hair. You are a pretty girl but no one would know it with that horrible hair. I have no problem with an Afro but get it our of your FACE!

Naima: Beautiful woman. She took on Summertime (which Fantasia supposedly made unsingable for anyone else) and I appreciated that she did it in an upbeat way as opposed to Fantasia's mournful wail. Randy said it was loungy but I liked it. I doubt anyone else did. She will be punished for singing *Fantasia's Song*. Too bad as I find her interesting.

Kendra: I wanted to hear her as the little we heard during Hollywood week I thought showed promise. I wasn't moved. Too much belting and yelling.

Rachel Zevita: Boy she screwed the pooch big time. The range was too low for her, she didn't look authentic with all her faux vampy moves and she was justly panned. Bye Rachel. I sort of liked her too but that was really...not...good.

Karen Rodgriguez: If you are going for votes sing Mariah. Smart song choice. Smarter still to mix it up with the Spanish. I do like her personality and she makes no bones about wanting to sing with a Latina flavor. Unlike Tatiana Del Toro (who hid her accent until she thought it might get her some votes and then went all Penelope Cruz on us) Karen says I'm Latina and I'm proud. Good for her. She sang that song no better than any other Mariah Carey wanna be I have heard on this show over the years but I do like he personality.

The Other Lauren: No one knows about her because she is not THE Lauren who Steven loves. I liked her but not so much the song. I may vote once or twice for her but it will be futile.

Ashton Jones: Just when Jacob Lusk makes me think I like R&B, along comes Ashton and makes me hate it again. Enough said.

Julie Zorilla: Your better off singing Mariah than Kelly, Carrie or Fantasia, and Julie paid the price with the judges comments. She is toast I fear. I didn't think she was so bad but the judges hated her.

Haley Reinhardt: I was looking forward to her too and was ultimately disappointed. What is with these songs that I don't like? Without this format, she might have sung another day and won over some fans with a better song but I'm afraid she is a goner too.

Thia Megia: Very smart move to start off acapello, very smart age appropriate song choice and she sang it well. Dammit. I don't like her smart little ass. She is David Archuleta all over again...planted in the show from her time on America's Got Talent and probably has insufferable stage parents too. I think she is as cold as ice.

Lauren Alaina: Well this little smart aleck could fart on stage and get good reviews from the judges. I don't like her either and thought her performance was underwhelming. At least Thia can sing.

Pia Toscano: Belter extraordinaire and thats what the judges want this season (no more Crystal Bowersox's for them thank you very much). I thought the song was fine and once again a smart choice because nearly everyone, including musically stupid me, has heard it. I thought she hit a couple of bad loud notes but she got a standing O from the judges. To me it wasn't Adam's Mad World or Crystal's People Get Ready or even close to them. Maybe I just don't like belters. Still, if she knocks of Thia Megia and Lauren Smart Aleck, I will be happy.

Predictions for Top 5 (without cheating and going to Dial Idol): Pia, Thia, Lauren A, Karen and probably Ashton. Which means I won't be voting for a girl this season. I really don't love any of them. In fact, Auntee is in a very cranky mood because she was NOT entertained tonight.

Update From Dial Idol

Dial Idol (dialidol.com)Bold is not always accurate on the placings, but is usually accurate when it gives someone a green and it looks like Scotty McCreary was American's favorite last night. Surprising to me, Stefano got a pretty high placement and it look like Casey Abrams may be in some trouble. I'm thinking I have overestimated Brett's appeal to the voters...I thought since he was the classic underdog and had been such a nice guy and did a decent job, he would attract a lot of votes but not according to Dial Idol. Surprisingly, it looks like Jordan Dorsey got a good share of votes. Clint Dung, however, was at the bottom of the Dial Idol pack. However, unless your green on that site, anything can happen, so we will see.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Boys Night Out

First, I am not in favor of the format this year. One chance to make the top 10. Then the *wildcards* chosen by the judges (not sure how many...at least 2 I guess). Good people get thrown off too early this way and my guess is that Tim Halperin and Paul McDonald will not make the top 5 and that is a shame. The only good thing is I'm pretty sure Jordan Dorsey and Clint Dung are not going to make the top 5 either.

My critique in order of performance:

Clint was placed in the death spot and that is a good thing because hopefully voters will forget about him. I thought he was overshadowed by the band and by the chorus when it chimed in and I thought he was karaoke. I guess I know where he got his nickname June Bug becaue he hopped all over like one, but I did not find it endearing. Once again he talks about the artist he want to be. I have a Superstition American Idol is not going to be his ticket to fame. The judges liked him. I did not.

Jovany is a guy you really want to like. He sang pretty well but did not move me (sort of like Big Mike last year). Steven and Jennifer thought he was good, Randy not so much. He better count on his looks to get him through this week because his performance was not in the top 5 or even the top 7.

Jordan wants to be a legend. Lets face it...the judges were more than kind to all the contestants tonight but even they couldn't say anything nice about this train wreck of a performance. He had every possible range in the song and all ranges sounded bad. When he took off his jacket and spun around like he was some big sex symbol I almost threw up. He is not remotely sexy. When he realizes that a performance that he thought was marvelous was not received well by the judges, he quickly agrees that jumping around is not who he is as a legend. I think he thought he could outsing Usher and probably still thinks so.

I was so looking forward to Tim Halperin after hearing his very brief Beatles performance in Las Vegas. He too chooses a jumping around song which does nothing to showcase his voice and he is moving too much for cameras to get a close up of his cute face. I'm afraid he will be one of the victims of this format and go home too soon.

When Brett started Light My Fire, I thought he was in deep trouble, but he saved it and it was really quite good. The head shakes (14) were just distracting though. Not the worst performance of the night but not the best either.

James Durbin delivered. Big time. I'm not a fan of that type of music but even I knew it was something special and he kept the screaming to a minimum. He SHOULD be in the top 5.

Robbie Rosen (Anoop 2.0). Boring. He's gone.

Scotty (who I am secretly rooting for) did his country thing well and chose a patriotic song which did bring a small tear to my eye. He looked awfully relaxed on that stool just singing away.

Stefano Falsetto ALL the time...seems like a really nice kid but I'm sick of falsettos and was bored.

Paul MacDonald sang a classic and sang it well. I hope he makes it to the top 5 but I'm doubtful he did enough compared to the other good performances. I had high hopes for him and Tim coming off Las Vegas but tonight he was good but not awesome so I'm worried for him.

Jacob Lusk. Jennifer says Scotty makes a girl from the Bronx like Country. Jacob makes a girl from Kansas like R&B. No wonder Jordan didn't do a classic R&B song. The comparison with Jacob would have been devastating for Jordan.

Casey Abrams is just flat awesome. Yes, he sort of growls but in a good way and his song choice was unique as well as his delivery. I'm not worried about him. He is my early bet to win the whole thing.

Predictions for Top 5? Brett, James Durbin, Scotty, Jacob Lusk and Casey Abrams. Wild Card maybes? Paul McDonald, Tim Helperin and Stefano. Hopefully gone for good: Clint Dung and Jordan Dorsey. Robbie and Jovany maybe could have lasted a few weeks with the old format but I think they are going to be trampled in the voting tonight.

My favorite performance of the night? Surprsingly, given the music, James Durbin.