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Thursday, January 31, 2013

Don't Cry For Me Oklahoma

I'm already crying enough for myself.  For wasting an hour watching the dreckest of the dreck audition shows.  First of all I have to confess I really don't like Oklahoma.  Oklahoma City is  Topeka, Kansas writ large.  Just ugliness everywhere you look.  That boathouse they used for the auditions with the man made rowing lake was about the best you get in Oklahoma City.  Everything else is ugly strip mall after ugly strip mall topped by street construction that does not end.  I think Idol won't be back.
And, as if to magnify the horrid location, they choose tonight to treat us to bad performance after bad performance and I'm just talking about the ones they put through, not the unusually high number of joke extras who may not be in on the joke who graced our screens tonight.

First up is Karl Skinner from Joplin who is a skinny little guy with a lot of confidence.  He does an awful version of James Brown's *I Feel Good* and I'm feeling not so good.  Then they ask him to play his guitar and he sings an *original* song, which is a very bad song, badly.  But, recognizing they are short on WGWGs, the judges put him through.  I cannot help but wonder what the guy with the titanium leg is thinking now who was summarily rejected in the first audition show and who could sing this skinny Skinner guy under the table. 

Then we get a montage of truly bad performers and I'm thinking *good..lets get them out of the way now*.  I thought too soon.
The only bright moment comes next when the Asian ASL teacher sings Stevie Wonder.  He is not anything that special but he is a nice guy so he goes through.  I cannot recall his name so I cannot check my spoiler sources but I can pretty much bet you a million cyberdollars that he does not make the top 40. 

Up next is Oscar and Hayley and I'm dying inside for both of them but mostly for Oscar as Hayley is the one who decided to bring him to this audition.  She has a clear and pleasant but not spectacular voice but given everything else they have seen, the judges put her through (although I think reluctantly).  She will be gone by the 2nd day of Hollywood.  There is a place in show business for ventriloquists but an Idol audition is not one of them.  Plus, you need to be very funny to do a good ventriloquist act no matter how skillful you are at the technique and Hayley is decidedly not all that funny..at least in a haha way.

So, now we see the reason for this blog entry title.  A bunch of people crying because they made it, didn't make it, cannot believe they are meeting the judges, cannot believe they are on TV, cannot handle life in general, forgot to take their meds today...you name it.  This motley group is topped off by Anastasia who I think really does believe she can sing and while a bit tearful, does display a level of confidence upon meeting the judges.  Then she sings.  And its ugly.  And gets uglier. But we do learn why she has so much confidence.  God called to her while she was writing in her journal saying *Idol* *Idol*.  The production makes extra fun of her by doing a fake reenactment of her vocational call which was really pretty unnecessary.  She already looked like enough of a fool to satisfy the viewers who are the type who create a traffic jam to gawk at car wrecks.

Idol has been looking for the next Justin Bieber since...well...Justin Bieber.  They think they found him in a 16 year old who looks 13 and has a certain amount of swagger.  Sadly he also has cystic fibrosis. And he has a weak little voice but thats ok because this is Oklahoma and we have enacted affirmative action for Oklahoma extras so he goes through.  
The show ends with Steven Tyler in drag and I think *I miss him even when he acts like an ass*.  He exits by either mooning the judges or farting in their faces and actually, I feel like the entire show has been one big fart in Idol viewer's faces tonight.  

If you watched you will note that I am NOT talking about Leonetta, the Obama babe who treated us to the National Anthem in honor of his re-inauguration and followed this stellar performance by giving the judges several shots of her crotch.  All I can say is WTF when she goes through... in honor of Obama's winning slogan of Winning the Future.  Seriously I'm afraid for the future and Leonetta is not the only one mentioned in this paragraph who scares me.  More scary...and really quite disgusting...is that this woman made the top 40 according to the spoilers.  I guess its the year for WTF!
For those of you who think I was a little too hard on the short guy last night who sang A Change is Gonna Come and cried...turns out he was on a reality show called the Glee Project and came in 4th or 5th or something so this is NOT his first rodeo and he has definitely learned to milk his stature for sympathy and votes so my instincts about him were on target.
Ryan announces at the end that they found 44 people to send to Hollywood in Oklahoma City.   Huh?     


Wednesday, January 30, 2013

So Happy Together

For once we were spared judges drama tonight and the show really was about the extras auditioning in San Antonio and Long Beach.  Before I begin tearing them to shreds (I'm in a cynical mood and its my blog and I'll trash them if I want to), I will address KK's point about the Minaj/Carey brawl.  I agree with her that Nicki's point was correct...the judges shouldn't try to force extras into a mold.  However, extras shouldn't be so dumb as to dismiss the genre of music one of the judges has made his own by suggesting it has no soul and is something she has moved on from to something better.  I don't like the judges critiquing these extras on *not knowing what kind of artist you are going to be* instead of their performance of a particular song and Nicki is right not to buy into that.  However, her tantrum and closing down production for the day because she was in the minority at that moment was unprofessional and childish.  So...she made herself wrong when she could have been right.
Enough of the judges.  On to the extras.
First up in San Antonio is retread Vincent Powell.  I liked his glasses.  I liked him teasing Randy about slurping his coke.  I thought his voice was good but not phenomenal.  I have doubts whether he will make the top 20 but reports are he makes it out of Hollywood week alive. 
Second are the two brothers who sang I cannot remember what because all I was thinking of as they sang was their resemblance in movements and attitude to Steve Martin and Dan Ackroyd playing the *two wild and crazy* Czech brothers on Saturday Night Live many years ago.  If you don't remember those segments, google them.  They are still pretty funny.  This duo raised *talking back to the judges* to a new level and I was glad to see them exit. 
Savannah somebody is up next.  She is the ubiquitous single mother who is doing this all for her kid.  She certainly looked like the All-American mother in her low riders, sequined tube top, and bare belly.  She does not have a belly which should be bared even at the beach.  To top it off, she pinned her number on her leg so that she made crackly noises as she entered and when she sang it looked like it was covering her crotch like some modern merkin.  She sings At Last.  Not horribly but her belting will get old for me and I'm thinking she is going to be Hollywood fodder...after she bullies the people on group night.
Christobel is unusual in that she has a kid AND a husband.  Go figure.  She was wonderful and is about the only one I'm excited about so far.  Sadly, she is 29 and that is the kiss of death.   To top it off she is African American, female and doesn't have a guitar.  Sadly, I think she will be fodder if she makes it to the live shows.
Randy goes to a Razorbacks game to surprise our next extra, Ann Defani who is a pretty pageant girl with a decent voice who sang a song about being more passionate with very little passion.  Fodder. Looks like she has a nice husband and good life though so good for her.
Victoria Acosta is the Mariachi singer who cannot sing Fergie.  I don't think she will be singing anything to live audiences except those lining the San Antonio River Walk.
Now I'm going to be blasphemous.  Papa Peaches is one big phony baloney.  First of all, the line about the big black woman trapped inside his body has been used by another extra in a prior year (I cannot recall his name but I recall him being equally annoying)*.  Papa's voice was mediocre karaoke no matter how much he tried to make it sound like Paul Robeson singing Old Man River.  Then, he is too good to do *covers* so he does some shitty song he made up so he could tell the world what everyone knew from the first time he spoke...he is a gay.  Nicki, who is equally phony and relies on gimmicks instead of talent, loved him.  Mariah looked like she didn't want to fight with Nicki again so gave a small yes  and Randy finally gave in and said yes because heaven forbid production should be shut down for this jackhole if Nicki is thwarted. Yay for Keith for recognizing Papa Peaches (or is it Pechaz?) as a first class bs artist.  

Oh crap...up next is a cute little 16 year old of the kind audiences lap up like sugared milk.  Singing Michael Jackson...of course. I think his name is Sanja which is awful close to Sanjaya. I am sick of these children.   Just bring on Honey Boo Boo and kill me now.

The last contestant was rather sad.  Not because he had a terrible voice, he did not.  But there is no way a guy who looks like him is going to make it very far in this competition which is not fair or just but it is the Idol way.  Randy, Mariah, Keith and Nicki may not hold his  shape and face against him but the producers surely will.  Fodder.

We move on to Long Beach and the Queen Mary.  So far we have been spared an overload of sad stories but in Long Beach we got a whole boatload of them (pun intended).

The first extra sings only to Randy and Keith and is quite pleasant to listen to, even if she has an odd name.  For the record, Randy and Keith, it is Shuba Vedula and you have it written on the paper right in front of you so read it before acting like idiots.  Who knows what nickname Nicki woud have bestowed on the extra  had she not been off at a rehearsal making sure the autotune equipment was working properly.  Mariah is late due to traffic and makes what I think was supposed to be a self-deprecating remark about her diva status but maybe not.

So, up next is a wounded Iraq veteran named Matt Farmer who thought he would be sterile due to brain trauma medicine but instead fathered a sweet little girl who he brings in with him for extra sympathy points.  I wanted to really like him because he has done a great thing for our country but his voice was just ok and I was getting tired of being made to feel sorry for him.  Don't get attached to him because according to the spoilers, he is not going to make it to the live shows.

Then some crazy woman named Stefani who obviously has no respect for American Idol comes on in order to scream at the judges and give them the finger.  Nice.  She said she didn't think Idol was ready for her look. I was going to comment on how NOT different she looked with her purple hair and black nailpolish as every other wannabe has adopted that look but its sort of a waste of time now.

Crap..Nikki is done adjusting the autotune and joins the group.  Ironically, the fire alarm goes off and they must leave although Mariah is the only one of the judges who has the common sense to know that the siren means move your butt to the exit folks and Nicki looks at her like she is being a big baby about it all.  Poor Josiah, the extra, is sort of lost in all of it.  But, when they return, this 16 year old girl does sing a rather nice song and is put through.

Micah Johnson is a victim of medical malpractice so I hope when he does not become the next American Idol he gets a good settlement from the surgeon who damaged his nerve and gave him a speech impediment.  If he doesn't already have a lawyer, he will after tonight as the ambulance chasers will be calling him by the hundreds to take his case...which has a lot of merit.  I like this guy despite his sob story.  He is very positive and can sing too.  There are some who believe he is faking this speech impediment thing to get sympathy (see the VoteForTheWorst blog).  I'm not going to go that far but I won't rule it out either.    

Up next is Rachel Hale who drank some of Honey Boo Boo's go go juice (it must be a Southern thing) she is so happy.  Wisely, she loves country music and while she thinks she might cross over,  country is her *wheelhouse* and she's stickin' to it.  Keith is smitten and she does have a good country voice.  I'm not going to trash her because she is happy and nice.  Someone has got to be and your blogger is decidely NOT nice tonight and is finding it hard to be happy as her family members are misbehaving. 

Plant Alert!  Brianna Oakley is another protegee along the lines of David Archuleta and Jessica Sanchez who has already appeared on one televised talent show.  Sadly, she was bullied about it when she went back to school.  Being bullied is the latest fad.   I don't know about you but being bullied for having a lot of talent is not right up there with being bullied for being fat, ugly, poor, crippled, or deformed on my Queen For A Day sympathy meter.  She is Jessica Sanchez redux and sings with the same level of emotion as our good friend Jessica always did. 

The final extra also has a sad story.  He is very short.  In addition he cries easily.  He sings A Change Is Gonna Come and makes the song about him and inserts the judge's name as he makes his pitch.  At that point my give a hoot meter plummeted.  Is it terribly bitchy of me to find it offensive that he equates his life of being short (and bullied of course) with the struggles of those in the Civil Rights Movement?   Its not like he braved Bull Connor's fire hoses or anything.

And, of course you all are hoping I'll be in a kinder mood tomorrow night.  Hope springs eternal! 

*PS..according to the guys at Vote For The Worst the extra who used the *I'm a big black woman trapped inside of a white man's body* line was none other than one of our favorites, Danny Gokey!  Thank goodness Papa doesn't have a dead wife or he might last a long time in this competition.   




One unjaded judge - Nicky was right

I'm so far behind on my AI watching that I just, last night, watched "the brawl" between Nicky and Mariah.

Nicky was right.

Randy and Mariah (and, to a lesser extent, Keith) WERE bullying that contestant into embracing the country genre when she'd clearly just said she'd "done" country and wanted to be more soulful.

You're at an AI audition.

Judge:  What kind of music do you do?  You have to pick a genre.  What kind of artist are you?  You must know.

You:  Soul

Judge:  But, you have a twang.  You sound country.  Why don't you sing country?  You like country, don't you?  Because this judge is a country star and you don't want to insult him.  You grew up with country, right?

You, because all you want is 3 "yes"es:  Uh, sure

I will consider this further proof of AI's typecasting.  It's become the Real World of Prime Time Network TV.  

Here's the cute little blonde with a bit of a yodel to her voice.  And they haven't found the token country girl yet this season.  

Ms. Minaj was 100% right.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Yo Dawg, I'm Home!

For any of you who have had the pleasure of visiting New Orleans or any other part of Louisiana, it is truly like another country.  A good country, but another one nonetheless. So, it was fun to see the little bits of country they deigned to show us tonight and I was especially happy to see that Cafe Du Monde looks like I remember it from before Katrina.  Best coffee and beignets in the world.  I would go back to New Orleans just to have coffee and beignets there, turn around and come back home if it didn't involve getting on a plane. 

Not too much drama with the judges tonight.  I did notice that whenever Mariah spoke, Nicki rolled her eyes and pouted.  And just google anything connected with Idol and you see links to various interviews of Nicki and Mariah about the *feud*.  Enough already.  I'm going to talk about the extras.

First up was pageant girl, Megan Miller, coming straight from the hospital on crutches to audition despite an infection which she said was not *life threatening* and something about *whats a leg when my whole career is at stake*.  She should probably talk to the extra with the titanium leg who was rejected about how important a leg is before she so cavalierly dismisses a limb and I guess she has never heard of sepsis and Jim Henson, not to mention gangrene.  I thought she was average but she did have a sense of humor with the crutch as microphone trick.  But all's well that ends well and she got her golden ticket to take to surgery with her (but not Keith Urban) and she is now in good health. 

Then we get Charlie Askew.  I must admit I have a special affinity for boys named Charlie.  I don't know if the *Charlie Askew Syndrome* was a real diagnosis or just gave a shy sort of nerdy boy a good story to take into the judges but he was a polite kid with a good voice.  Spoiler alert:  I believe he makes it to the top 40.

Next up is one of the nominees, Maddie, and we get to see her singing at Cafe Du Monde before Randy sweeps her off to glory in Baton Rouge.  Grandma was a hoot with her magic dust and beads.  Keith says she definitely has a style and I think her style is grabbing tricks from everyone she hears and putting it all in one song which made her sound a little...well...disjointed.  The key thing with these judges seems to be *tone* and I'm going to say when she wasn't doing runs and growls and random loud notes she seemed to have a good tone.  Spoiler alert:  I don't think grandma's magic dust gets her into the top 40.

And just when we thought this season was going to be different, we get Paul Jolley...who will be our WGWG (for new readers or those who have forgotten...White Guy With Guitar) this year.  No, he didn't bring a guitar in the audition but I bet he has one (or if he didn't, he went right out and bought one so he could learn to strum a few chords).  I really have a problem with people who think that by becoming a big star they will be *giving something back* by sharing their talent with the world.  No, they are taking fame and money and all that comes with it and having the time of their life doing something they love...that is not giving back that is being talented (some of them) and lucky.    He is the first extra who is getting on my nerves...I do not like him even if his grandfather died.  Mine did too and I'm not telling people I'm giving something back by sharing my talent (or lack thereof) by writing this blog.  I'm doing it purely for my own pleasure and satisfaction and I don't care if anyone likes it or not. Unfortunately, I believe we will be seeing lots and lots and lots of Paul Jolley (*sticks finger down throat to mimic vomiting*). 

Then we have 2 contestants who actually are doing something for humanity.  The physician and the firefighter.  I did not catch their names but maybe you did.  I don't think we will see much of them in the future as they were both just OK.  But they are *giving back*.

Finally, the star of the night, Burnell Taylor who will be pimped and pimped and pimped all the way to the top 3 (you heard it here first) where he will be trounced by a WGWG and some little girl we haven't met yet.  I thought he had a good voice but I don't know if it deserved a standing ovation.  I suppose the Katrina story gave his audition some extra *oomph*.  Cynical me.  I wonder if he was really in Katrina or if he just borrowed some photos from the Katrina victim archives. 

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Nicki Minaj, You Are No Billie Holliday

Well, now we know what the fuss was all about.  The question is, do we care?  All I can say about  Nicki  (as one of my old clients used to say when trying to explain why someone who was a terrible worker still had their job): *She must have pictures*.  Nothing else can explain the obvious pandering and coddling of this no-talent  derivative of Madonna via Gaga except abject fear that she will  release some embarassing photos of Nigel Lythgoe or Simon Fuller.  Perhaps that explains how she got the job in the first place.   And if Mariah Carey is putting up with it...I guess if you paid me 18 million dollars I could take the high road too. 

But does Nicki have to introduce every contestant?  Do we have to see a menage of M(e)naj's greatest nicknames just after she shut down production (and upset all the extras waiting to audition) because Randy pointed out he has been in the business 30 years compared to her 30 minutes? Thats like giving a 3 year old who just threw a tantrum some candy.  Just how terrible could those pictures be?  The real problem with the audition that started it all was that Summer, the extra, hit a nerve with Keith Urban and the conversation turned to country music and away from Nicki.

Ok..rant over.  But fair warning...this show is getting harder and harder for me to care about.  When I seriously considered watching Wife Swap instead...you know where I stand.

All of that said, I did think some of the extras showed some promise tonight.  I thought Summer was average, to tell you the truth and not worth all the drama but the follow up country girl, Janela O. Arthur, who played a young Dolly Parton when she was a child, might do well in Hollywood.  I also like Candace Glover (although she might get old to me if she keeps doing Josh Ledet) and felt bad that Randy clearly didn't remember her from last season...asking...*where have you been?*.  She showed a lot of restraint not to say *cursing out you, Steven and Jennifer for cutting me last season Randy*. The frog-giggin girl from Clover was interesting and had a clear pure voice I thought.  Also, Brandy Alexandria, the girl who had to go in first after Nicki's hissy-fit, was rather sweet and I would like to hear more of her.   The one who surprised me and at the same time irritated the heck out of me was Ashley (aka *Blondie*) who looked like a poor man's version of Nicki M(e)naj.  Someone needs to tell her that shtick has been done and done and done.   To Blondie's credit, however, she probably sings better than Nicki who I believe relies very heavily on auto-tune when she isn't rapping (and maybe when she is). 

The interesting thing about the auditions so far, is that most of the promising extras are women.  Either they are not showing the men who have talent or there are not that many of them.  The Voice of Charlotte may do well and he certainly has an appealing story.  But I am not giving up on the men.  There WILL be a WGWG who emerges sooner or later as a front runner and all these promising women will be left to languish with Haley and Crystal, and Elise, and all the rest of the talented women who got pushed aside in past seasons so some guy can sing Hallelujah in the finale and never be heard from again.

And, I loved Mariah's homage to Billie Holliday who is one of my all time favorite singers ever in the world.  Keith, you need to get with the program and get to know Billie.



Thursday, January 17, 2013

Can We Vote Nicki Minaj off of Idol?

I may eat my words, but I do not think that any extra they put on this season will bring me to the level of annoyance, disgust, and *will she just go away I cannot stand to hear or look at her anymore* that I am feeling after only 2 nights of watching Nicki (Its All About Me)naj on the judging panel.  Judging from posts by die-hard idol fans, like me, on the *official* American Idol forum boards, I am not alone...in fact...I think the feeling is virtually unanimous...that Nicki is a pain in the ass of the first order and we want her to go.

As I said in my earlier post, Nicki's antics and the bickering with Mariah have relegated the contestants to mere extras in this broadcast.  Having male extras take off clothes, preen, and ask if they are dating and fake flirting with them was not only unprofessional but unseemly and unfair to them.  That poor young woman whose last name was Bush...I'm not even going to go there.... except to say that she (the extra) looked genuinely shocked and distressed and humiliated when she left and that was not a pleasant thing to see.

As for the extras tonight, there were several who I would like to see again.  First is Kezban...I didn't know if she was a man or a woman when she first went on the screen but I loved her attitude *if this is going to be a blooper, don't make my mom cry*.  Given the build up I expected a blooper and then she sang and I was mesmerized but then I'm a sucker for women singer songwriters because those are the voices of my generation.  I'm pretty sure her independent ways will not sit well with the producers so I expect we won't see much of her again but I thought she was fabulous!   Second is Brandy Neely who sang *Your Cheatin' Heart*.     Now that is a country voice unlike that Lauren girl who came in second 2 years ago, auditioned with a pop song but decided she was a country singer when she saw Scotty getting all the votes .  Then of course, there is Lazaro.  As they were doing the build up I thought *I'm not gonna get tears in my eyes, Ryan...you cannot make me...you cannot make me.*  And then Lazaro sings Bridge Over Troubled Water and my eyes start needing a bridge because I'm crying.   I'm pretty sure he will be JayCeed on group night in Hollywood. (If you recall, Jay Cee was the 14 or 15 year old kid who was on a couple of years ago who no one wanted in their group).

I guess next week we get to see the royal hissy fit thrown by Miss ME(naj).  I'm not sure I can bear to watch it. 


Urban for the WIN

I'm not really going to comment on the contestants because I there just wasn't anything worth commenting on.  

Who they put through, they put through.  Who they didn't put through, they didn't.  I didn't feel strongly about anybody either way.

Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey's "feud" wrapped up nicely as they all sang Kumbaya together by the end of the hour.  But mark my words:  the producers will milk that all. season. long.

The winner of the night:  Keith Urban!  He's funny, no? 

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Is All About Me, Me, Me, Me

Forget about you, you, you, you and you too  number 589481.

The show opens with poor Philip Phillips...who I guess had a hit song although I have not heard it but then I don't listen to the radio much.  He still is making funny faces.  Then the producers trot out the success story that is American Idol (i.e. the 5 or so people on the show who have actually made a name for themselves) in order to contrast it with the Voice and the X Factor and those other shows that are cutting into their demographic and making people bored senseless with the whole concept. It is so obvious that its all about Nygel Lythgoe v. Simon Cowell.  Then the judges are introduced as if they are the 2nd coming of the Beatles or something (even Randy)...and its pretty clear that Idol is super pleased with itself for grabbing this group of mega-stars (??) as compared with poor crazy Britney Spears and over the hill Simon.  A good 5-10 minutes pass while  Idol praises itself and its wisdom in choosing these new judges.  And as we go to break we get a glimpse of the point of this whole season:  Mariah Carey v. Nikki Menage. 

I was prepared to be on Mariah's side as Nikki Menage strikes me as a Lady Gaga wannabe and although I've only seen her perform once, I'm pretty skeptical of her talent for anything but self-promotion and strange outfits and hair.  And, I have to say that Nikki was grabbing the spotlight every moment she could tonight.  You could see Mariah seething *its supposed to be about ME*.  But then Mariah would get in a snide little comment or give her a mean girl look and I'm thinking...they deserve each other and I don't care who wins this catfight. 

As an afterthought, the producers brought out some extras  so that the judges could show off some more.  When Mariah, Randy, and Nikki, finally shut up, we even heard the extras  sing a few bars before we got back to the REAL show. 

None of the extras (excuse me...contestants) we saw tonight, is, in my opinion, going to be our next American Idol.  They threw out the only white guy with a guitar even though he had a compelling back story of being a tap dancer who lost a leg to cancer.  I thought his Jason Mraz number was pretty mediocre but when he started singing with his guitar I  thought he was as good as Phillip Phillips or that paint salesman named Lee whose last name I cannot now recall and who is presumably back at Sherwin Williams mixing paint by computer...or should be.

There were a couple of women who I thought were fine but they all seemed too nice to actually make it past Hollywood week.  The blonde girl who lost a lot of weight is a belter and I will see how she wears on me if we ever hear her again.  The hearing impaired girl was, I think payback for the guy with one leg as she was OK but didn't move me.  The girl who went to Mariah camp may do pretty well in the competition because she certainly has the drive but why did she show up in her cut offs?  Sarah from the farm was cute but not that great either. The poor girl from Israel won't make it far because she is from a politically incorrect country. The final extra, the girl with the big family of foster kis, seems like a real sweetheart but.... 

Did anyone else think that all the extras were trying to imitate Mariah's style with the melisma and running up and down the scales?  Or is it just me being sick of that style and hearing it everywhere even if its not there? 

As for the men, the only one who made it through that I can remember now is Frankie Ford from Flatbush who seems like a fine young man. 

The poor joke contestants once again did not seem to be in on the joke except for the guy in the plastic suit that made fart sounds when he walked and thrust at Nikki.  I did  laugh when in a following segment showing all the bad contestants one poor guy actually did fart in the middle of his song giving new meaning to one of my favorite expressions: *He's farting the song*.  The poor girl who only sang for her parents was very surprised to be rejected which suggests that she really was telling the truth about no one else hearing her sing before or she surely would not have subjected the whole world to her voice.

But, really, as the preview for tomorrow's show demonstrated... this season is all about the judges.  It is going to be one long season as the catfight is already growing irksome.   I liked Keith Urban until he said *I don't know what kind of artist you are going to be* and I thought...lose that line fast buddy...it makes you sound as lame as Randy.   



Could not have done a better preview of this season than the one written by KK and agree completely with her...except I don't think Nikki Menage has talent! 

Ready. Set. Go? Maybe?

Recap for those who live under rocks:

JLo -Out
Steven Tyler -Out

Mariah Carey -In
Nicki Minaj -In
Keith Urban - In

Randy - Desperately grasping to the only career move he has left

Seacrest - In.  Yeah, I'm surprised, too.

Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj hate each other and are feuding.  Allegedly, Mariah was told by AI producers that she'd be the only female judge, and in came Nicki.

Let me do a quick tirade now, and I promise I'll try not to do it again:

As I get older (and as my daughter gets older) I fancy myself more and more of a feminist.  I've blogged here before about how AI has been shameless about promoting male competitors (women pay homage to recently deceased Whitney Houston while boys are handed a lob-ball covering Stevie Wonder), judges openly fawn over males and don't hold back on critiques of females, and a the last female to win this show was Jordan Sparks in 2007.  Two thousand and SEVEN, people.  

Auntee and I both called the White Guy With Guitar as the ultimate winner on Day 1, just like the season before and the season before.   And yes, I do blame the tween girls and their pink cell phones voting for the boy they want to take to prom.  But I also blame the show, generally, for purposely throwing a semi-talented heartthrob in the spotlight every single season, just TO garner those tween votes.  

I digress ...

Know what this show needs?  A good cat fight.  Let's throw in two strong, talented, beautiful African American women and hope they go after each other.

Let's be as stereotypical as possible - fat shaming? check. digs on career? check. liberal use of the word "diva"? check.

All we're missing is the weave pulling and the boyfriend stealing.

Can there be just ONE season where Girls Rule?  Where 2 female judges conspire to BUILD UP the female contestants, instead of to tear each other down?  Where they agree to work together to help a young girl start her career, because, you know, that's what they ultimately signed on for?

As for the contestants:  Can we, maybe, have a girl with a guitar?  Maybe even an African American girl with a guitar?  

I'm setting myself up for heartbreak, aren't I?  We'll see, I guess, starting tonight.