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Thursday, May 5, 2011

Jacob, Your Mirror Just Broke

I have seen four and three-fourths seasons of Idol exits and I can honestly say that Jacob Lusk exited the Idol stage with the least amount of class of any one in the top tier. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to see the last of him (except for the finale, unfortunately but I do have a mute button). It took sixty million votes to get rid of him but at last he is gone.

This man cannot even fake humility. I really believe when he looks into the mirror he sees divinity...or at least divanity. When asked what he will remember about his Idol experience the man who had just been voted off says: *I think America has fallen in love with me*. This follows such modest gems as *If I'm in the bottom three, America needs to look in the mirror* and *I'm sharing my gift with America*.

So, he is singing his swan song and I'm thinking...well that isn't bad...and I'm starting to like his singing...and the other Idols are looking on and you can see they think he is doing a great job and admiring his talent. And then he WON'T STOP! He does about 30 seconds of his riffs and won't acknowledge his peers who are trying to support him in his darkest hour because...and I truly believe this...Jacob thinks that he is so great that Idol may just go over time so America, who has fallen in love with him, can hear more of his wonderfulness. I now know why they had the hook in vaudeville. What a total ass!

I am thrilled Mr. KK was a guest blogger this week! I'm also thrilled that Jimmy Iovine agreed with me about the quality of this week's performances! Although, I will admit I was probably blinded by Idol glasses in praising James so much. Even his staunchest fans felt he fell short this week. And I do know who Jordin Sparks is, Mr. KK. I just didn't know she ever had a hit song (but I listen to talk radio all the time). Do I get credit for knowing that Chris Brown beat up Rihanna?

I hate when they do that divide the stage and let someone decide who is in the bottom 2 trick and was glad Scotty just said no and had to be dragged over to James and Haley. Lauren lost complete control the minute she knew she was not going to stand next to James...the pout on her face was...well a pout worthy of the queen bee of Toddlers and Tiaras who realizes she is not going to win the Super Grand Supreme title. I KNOW she is only 16. So was Allison and Allison NEVER let us see her sweat. I'm pretty tired of them coddling Lauren. Although, seeing her first song played back, I realize it was better than I thought it was last night. She does the best when she is singing with someone else.

Over the past few weeks, one of the mentors must have gotten to Iovine and pulled him off of the Haley hate train. He actually acted like he gave a hoot about her tonight. I agree with Mr. KK, that Jennifer's criticism of her first song was just plain bitchy. And I withdraw my statement that Iovine was trying to sabotage her.

Speaking of JLo...for a 40 year old woman...she can dance. There is no way she was singing that song all the way through as even she would have been too breathless with all that dancing. I still hate the current trend that every song has to have some random rapper in it.

I enjoyed Lady Antebellum. I understand the lead woman singer whose name I should but do not know, auditioned for Idol and was rejected. Probably for Kristy Lee Cook.

The best thing about Jacob leaving tonight is that Mr. KK will keep watching Idol.

Guest Blogger: Mr. KK

KK is unavailable to blog today, so she asked me, Mr. KK, to take her place because we generally share the same brain when it comes to evaluating the live show performances.

Without further ado, worst to best from last night:

WORST (5): Jacob:

I don't understand how he hasn't been voted off yet and I am starting to worry that the longer he stays the more likely it is that he is going to win the whole thing. If that happens, I will never watch Idol again. For his first song, he chose "No Air" which is the only Jordin Sparks song that I actually like. (Auntee, you may have been joking but if you really don't know who she is, she won Idol a few years ago). "No Air" was clearly meant to be sung as a duet, but I think Jacob is probably used to doing things by himself that were meant to be done with others. His performance of the song was just terrible, probably because Jacob is about as contemporary as the carpenter jeans that I can still not let go of. On a side note, I am sofa king tired of J-Lo interrupting the other judges when they start to give negative comments that she doesn't agree with. I really wish Randy would have told her to shut up when she interrupted him. It makes me miss Simon even more because he certainly would have put her in her place. Back to Mr. Lusk...for his next "hit" he chooses "Love Hurts," a song made popular by Nazareth in the 70s that I really like as well. Love hurts...more like my head hurts after listening to him butcher this song.

(4) James:

Yes Auntee, you read that right. James was just not very good last night. I think people that liked his performances last night had Idol goggles on. What I mean is that if you heard these same performances of James' on the radio, you would immediately change the channel. He started off the night with a Jared Leto song that isn't that great of a song to begin with and James proceeded to sing it with tons of pitch problems and he even seemed off key at times. Of course the judges praised his performance, likely because they decided a long time ago that they wanted him to win this year. Look, I really think James appears to be a very genuine and nice man and I truly hope he has a good career. Having said that, he continued his terrible night by being pitchy on "Without You," a song that everyone loves. The judges even seemed to think he did a bad job but were afraid to say anything negative about him. Don't worry judges, AI voters are like mice following your directions as if you were the pied pipers.

(3) Scotty:

I thought his performance of "Gone" was fun but I didn't care too much for the song. He then offered an absolutely boring performance of "Always on My Mind." Don't get me wrong, he sang it well but it just seemed to be lacking emotion. I know that this was originally an Elvis song, but people from my generation only think of this as a Willie Nelson song. I've seen Willie perform that song live in person twice and there was never anything boring about it. Maybe it would have been better if Willie shared his herbs with Scotty before the performance.

(2) Lauren:

Her performance of "Flat on the Floor" was my favorite performance of hers all year. That song is fast-paced and very wordy and seems like a hard song to sing. I think she nailed it and blew away the two performances that had proceeded her. The judges loved it, especially Steven who always seems to look at Lauren in a creepy way. Another side note: We've been watching and enjoying NBC's "The Voice" and I encourage you to watch it. We need to have a vote as to the biggest perv judge between Steven Tyler and Cee-Lo. KK thinks Cee-Lo's tyrannosaurus rex arms would win that battle. Back to Lauren...Her performance of "Unchained Melody" didn't blow me away but I think she sang it very well. She didn't have any of the pitch problems that some of the other contestants had last night. I had a Righteous Brothers cassette when I was growing up (ya, that's right, a cassette tape) and I don't think anyone will ever sing that song as good as the brothers did. But I think Lauren did a very good job with it and really showed that she has a pretty dang good voice.

(1) Haley:

I think Haley has the best and the most unique voice left in this competition. Her initial performance of the unreleased Lady GaGa song was fantastic. I think Jimmy actually likes Haley a lot and wants her to win this. It certainly had to take some convincing from Jimmy for GaGa to agree to let Haley perform a song that GaGa hasn't yet released to the public. I think she did an amazing job on the song and I don't think the song itself was bad. Randy and J-Lo obviously disagreed. I think J-Lo is just jealous of the fact that Haley has a better voice than J-Lo herself (something that we likely won't be able to truly assess tonight on the results show given that J-Lo will almost certainly be lip singing). I think Randy just agreed with J-Lo so that she wouldn't interrupt him again. I also think it's hypocritical of the judges to bash Haley for singing an "unknown" song when other contestants did the same. I don't think James' Jared Leto song is topping the charts; and only country music fans have probably ever heard "Gone" that Scotty performed. It certainly has to be a sign of the apocalypse that Steven Tyler was the voice of reason when he told Haley that when someone can take a song that we don't know and make it work, that's a beautiful thing.

The only good thing about the negative criticism Haley got on her first song was that she was able to have a wonderful "FAH Q judges" moment when she just killed "House of the Rising Sun." It was definitely the best version of that song that I have ever heard.


Bottom three should be: Jacob, James, Scotty

Bottom three will be: we probably won't find out for sure but it will probably be Jacob, Haley, and Lauren

Going home: unfortunately, I think it's probably going to be Haley given the negative comments. Jacob, you are the weakest link...hopefully we get to say goodbye.