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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Rocky Mountain Not So High

I admit it.  I am bored with these auditions. I am bored with the girls in love with Steven Tyler (even though I'm in love with him too in a platonic sense and I'm closer to his age).  I'm bored with the backstories.  I want the real deal to start. 

All of that said, here is the rundown of what I managed to watch tonight.  I hope all of you were watching something else. 

First contestant is a cute enough blonde named Jenny Shick who has permission from her boyfriend to kiss Steven Tyler, Lady Gaga, and some other famous guy and it won't be considered cheating.  She has eye makeup like Lady Gaga.  She has sort of a horsey face like Gaga too.  She sings Heartbreaker.  It didn't sound all that great to me but the judges let her go through. 

Second contestant, a semi-pro musician called Curtis Gray who has a sort of David Cook wanna be vibe.  I thought his song choice was crappy and boring.  Randy loved it.  Randy was clearly affected by the altitude.  He went through. 

Then the three Amigos ...Richie who has a low voice like Scottie's voice and a plaid shirt too; Devan Jones who is a R&B guy and sounds the same as the rest of them, and some George Michaels look-alike called Mathenee.  They all went through. 

Our first loser of the show,Talena Ron, appears.  Her twin sister, Stevie, is there for moral support.  Stevie goes to a Performing Arts School and has taken the spotlight from Talena for their entire 18 years of life together.  Sadly, as Talena sang we could see why she was always in Stevie's shadows and must always be content to be the wind beneath herwings.  After her rejection, the sisters sang a duet and Stevie decided to sing as loud as she could to overpower poor Talena's pitiful voice.  At least the judges didn't call in Stevie and let her audition like they did with the other brother/sister rivals the first night. 

Haley Smith is an outdoor girl with a Crystal Bowersox vibe.  She was good but I cannot get too excited about her until she makes it through the Hollywood hell week. 

Shelby Smith is from Minnesota and has bi-polar disorder.  She seems like a fine young woman but once again I was not that impressed with her voice.   I'm jaded. 

Angie Ziederman wants to be Gaga.  She auditions first with a show tune which Randy almost threw up on.  Then she sang Blue Bayou.  She dresses sort of retro with big glasses and 40's hair.  I think she has a lot of tricks but not much talent. 

In between there were others I was too bored with to make notes about.  It ended with the classic jokester guy who was about 40, called himself Magic Cyclops, spoke with an English accent and said he was born in Davenport, Iowa.  He sang (badly) a Neil Diamond song and Margariaville.  Randy said he had to go to the bathroom so would let the other two deal with Cyclops.  Cyclops allowed as how he could use a bathroom too and farted a sparkler out of his butt.  Yeah..that was really spontaneous.  I wonder how many times they had to rehearse the sparkler fart before they got a good take. 

So...what started off as Rocky Mountain high (the scenery shots were great) turned into Rocky Mountain low (or is that blow?).   Anyway...I want the real show to start.