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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Can We Get a Twofer?

As the final two perched uncomfortably and miserably on those stupid stools, I thought...oh can't they both go home tonight? No surprise it was Paige. Tim has the worsters voting (probably all 100 of them) along with some young girls who think he's hot. Even Miley wanted to hug him. I take some consolation in knowing that he was in the bottom 3 two weeks in a row so he is not pulling in huge votes and hopefully his journey will end in the next week or two. I took consolation in Katie being one of the final three for the same reason. She looked pretty shocked to find herself on that stool. I think she thinks much more highly of herself than being stuck with the two most godawful performers of the previous night and thought Andrew would be there instead of her. I'm happy for Andrew though. I cannot believe I used to hate him because now, while I don't think he is any good, I feel sorry for him and the runaround he gets from the judges. Now at least he can make some money on the tour before he returns to obscurity and has to get a job. I could make a nasty crack about what type of job he will get but I'm not going to tonight. Let him enjoy his moment of happiness.

I am loathing Didi even more, if that is possible, as she made a crack obviously aimed at Crystal about *well I could just stand there with my guitar and sing but I want to try new things*. She is a passive aggressive biotch. Little J knows what I'm talkin' about there!

I wonder how long Lee and Casey had to stand when Ryan forgot to tell them they were safe after he sent Tim and Paige to the stools.

Yay for Crystal. She seemed more lively tonight so maybe she hasn't been feeling as well as she could for the past few weeks and is feeling better now. I loved her quick response that she was going to listen to *me*, when asked whose advice she would listen to about playing or not playing her guitar. Then vapid Katie, when asked a similar question, tried to look all confident about who SHE is as an artist and ended up sucking up to Kara. I doubt Katie even knows what being a Pop singer with R&B influences means.

Now for the entertainment. Miley was not as bad tonight as she was last year when she sang The Climb, but I would call her performance turgid and self-indulgent. When she first did that dramatic bend down from the waist and throw my hairweave around move, I thought maybe she had stomach cramps. But she kept doing it so I guess it was part of the performance. I didn't like the song either.

I know who Joe Jonas is but who is Demi Lovoto or whatever her name is. Love a notto is my opinion of her. I will have to google her. Frankly, I think almost any random boy and girl from Hollywood week could have sung that unmemorable song better.

Next week, BM will be in his glory as he has decided that he is an R&B singer now. I think Crystal will do well as well as Siobahn. Tim Teflon Urban should be a trainwreck. Katie will get to try out her R&B influenced style. I hope Didi continues to fail epically.

Zzzzzz ...

What a boring show. I almost wish I would've just gone to bed, instead of watching it.

Best to Worst:

Crystal - Really is just in a different league, isn't she? And I love that Simon pointed that out. I don't know what all this "get a personality"/"connect with the audience" mumbo-jumbo is, but it's BS. I seriously want to be Crystal's friend. I want to go with her to a bar, listen to her jokes, and have her sing for me. She totally connects with me, and I think many, many others.

Lee - He didn't get much play from the judges. But compared to the others tonight, I really do think he was 2nd best. He changed up the song just enough to make it different, but not so much as to ruin it. Oh, and he's hot. (Have I mentioned that before?)

Siobhan - Listen, I don't get sick of her screaming. I think it's frickin' fantastic each. and. every. time. Yeah, maybe she could put it at the beginning of her song, but do NOT get rid of it. (My husband is making me post that he's tired of every song ending with a scream. But this isn't his blog, so I can say that I love him, but he's wrong.)

Equally mediocre: (all of the below just sort of blur together)

Big Mike - I'm just glad the judges weren't kissing his behind all night. It was nice to see him knocked down a tiny little peg. His performance was fine. He's got a nice voice. But it was boring.

Andrew Garcia - Oh, Andrew. You poor, poor thing. Every week at least one judge says "Straight-Up" and this week Simon said what we've all been thinking: "overrated". You're SO not motown. And, I think, get back behind the guitar.

Didi Benami - I've still got Rhiannon on repeat play. But You're No Good was weird. It was almost like she was playing a role - the slinky, slutty role. And pitchy. Just no good.

Casey - I don't know what performance any of the judges besides Simon were watching last night. I was totally 80's, no different from the original, and not that good of a vocal. And he told Miley he was going to interact with the fans and make eye-contact - but he didn't do either of those things.

Tim Urban - I like this kid. I'm sorry, but I do. I just want to pinch his little cheeks. Yes, the tween-pit, the stage sliding, and the fan high 5s were a little over the top. But they told him to interact with the fans, so he is. Was Crazy Little Thing Called Love fantastic? No. But should he go home? No.

"How Are These People Still Around":

Katie - My hatred for this girl is growing week by week. Not only does she have no idea what kind of artist she wants to be (neither do the judges), but she doesn't even have a good voice. It's nasal. And weird. And why do the judges say "make it your own" to everyone else, but Katie can sing Fergie's song EXACTLY like Fergie sang it, and they like it?

Eyebrows/Something About Mary Hair (I love this!) - Did you see his eyebrows??? They are seriously putting fake ones on him!! They're bigger than last week even! I about died when Ryan called him David Pukaletta - it just solidified why I hate him so much. And nobody can sing Steven Tyler. Nobody. Especially not you, freaky little 3rd grade boy.

Paige - Oh Paige. I feel so, so sorry for her. She's so pretty. And she seems so nice. But Against All Odds was horrible. Horrible. It was like a flashback to those initial auditions where they make fun of people.

Bottom Three:
Paige, Tim, and Didi

Going home: