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Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Extreme Makeover, Idol Edition

The new producer, Per (blinken? winken?), evidently got a come to Jesus call from the entertainment universe and did some fast clean up work on the Idols, their performances, and their wardrobes.   A few of them needed very little and a few of them needed a lot, but like my mama used to say, when you look good and you know it you just do better.   All of them did better this week with a few notable standouts.  And they all looked about as good as their God given selves are going to ever look.  

The show started with Sam Wolfe singing Come Together.  I was wondering how this quiet shy guy was going to handle that song, which is known in Idol universe as belonging to Carly Smithson.  He had much more energy, much more personality and while it wasn't a moment it was a whole lot better than his performance last week.  Harry said it was an average performance and it wasn't Carly Smithson worthy, but at least the guy made some eye contact (and a little more) with the world.  He didn't need a style makeover at all.  He is just perfect looking.

Jessica chose The Sound of Silence which disappointed me a little bit.  I thought she did a wonderful job and didn't notice the *something off* that JLo mentioned.  Sadly, this is not a killer song from an audience perspective and I'm afraid her votes will suffer for it.  I'm getting a little worried/irritated by her performance style.  She almost has an indifferent look on her face.  Now we know she isn't indifferent about her music so what is that about?  If you look at her videos on Youtube (and she has quite a few) its the same blank face...I want to see some expression from her.  Her hair and makeup were a little more polished but she really wasn't one of the slobs that needed a makeover.  She is quite beautiful (I wonder if this is part of JLo's problem with her). 

I'm going to say CJ was the most improved.  He got a new guitar and I'm thrilled for him.  I love that guy.  And he gave it his all tonight with Can't You See.  This was not Karoake and was damn near a moment.   He didn't need much styling either since he abandoned that baseball cap a few weeks back and seems to like his fedora like leather hat.   

They took Dexter to the woodshed, tied his carcass down, and cleaned him the heck up!  No more backward baseball cap, no more tight tee shirt that shows his man boobs.  He had a real hairstyle and while this guy is never gonna be a looker, he at least didn't look like he was on a casting call for a remake of Deliverance.   I thought his rendention of Sweet Home Alabama was OK but nothing special.  I don't think he is going much beyond karoake.  I didn't have to worry about him mumbling the words because of course I know them.  

Ben was also taken to the woodshed.  Was he in a suit?  The baseball cap was gone, his hair was slicked back and he almost looked debonair.  Sadly, his Benny and the Jets should have stayed in the woodshed with his baseball hat.  He just didn't give it the joy/energy/fun that the song should have.  This song belongs to Haley Reinhardt in the Idol world and he didn't even begin to approach her version.  Bad song choice.  Not a great performance.  He should be in trouble but probably will not be.

Majesty Rose sang Let It Go from Frozen and she really did look like she was doing a Broadway production.  This girl baffles me.  Sometimes I like her and sometimes I don't.  Sometimes I think she is sincere and other times I think she is a phony baloney.  This was a good performance I guess but I don't think its going down in Idol history.

They didn't cut Caleb's hair but I think he wore a suit.  I really didn't focus too much because he still bores me.  Jess said if Jack Black and Meatloaf had a son it would be Caleb.  Yep...and I'm not a particular fan of them either.  I don't hate the guy but I'm having a hard time getting excited about him.  He sang Skyfall, a song I did not know and don't really care enough to learn better. 

They almost made MK over too much.  I didn't mind her sequined suit or that they took that ubiquitous backwards baseball cap off of her but they put on too much makeup and the hair just screamed *I'm a lesbian* too darn much.  At least they didn't give her a mullet!  I love this girl and I don't like to see her typecast as *the lesbian*.  Jlo had to mention kd Lang?  WTH?  I thought she did a fine job on her song and was trying to connect and did at certain moments.  I still think she will be in trouble though.  

Ok, just when I'm not hating on Alex Preston all that much he does something like pick Falling Slowly and act like its this obscure arty song that no one has ever heard. We have heard it, Alex.  Kris Allen did the ultimate solo version (yours did not measure up) and Lee and Crystal did the ultimate duet and we can put this song in the vault with Hallelujah...ok?  I was so mad at him for picking this song and acting all high and mighty about it that I really didn't focus on the performance.

Jena Irene, who was in the bottom 3 last week, went back to her piano to sing a song from the movie Twilight which I did not know.  I guess it was good.  But she doesn't move me.  I just don't like belters all that much. If I were doing her makeover I would tone down that helmet hair but I'm evidently in the minority on that as the stylists left it alone.

The pimp spot went to Malaya whose feet they almost nailed to the floor so she could calm down and sing one of the songs from Dream Girls.  I think she was less screechy this week and I like her straight hair but sort of miss the cookiness of her curly mop hair.  u I don't know if I would say this was a moment....but it was certainly a long ways  up from where she had been 2 weeks ago with Runaway Baby and last week with the gospel song that turned into howling at the end.  

Random thoughts:  Does Randy's contract guarantee him so many minutes of air time each episode?  What was the deal with him and Ryan and the hands.  Do we think that Harry has any respect for Randy?  Not only did he suggest last week that Randy was falling down on his mentoring, tonight he went into the *in it to win it* line which was about all Randy would ever say when he was judging other than *Yo Dawg* *I don't know what kind of artist you will be* shtick.    

Another completely random thought:  I don't like Taylor Swift.

I don't have any predictions for this week...I think maybe MK will be the one going home.  I hope its not Jess and I'm pretty sure CJ redeemed himself.  Maybe Ben in the bottom 3? 

We will see tomorrow!