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Wednesday, January 28, 2015

I'm So Jaded and Idol's the One Who Jaded Me.

As the opening credits span the city of San Francisco it is announced that Idol has saved the best for last. This is a clue to me that they have found some sweet young thing that the producers are going to coddle through Hollywood Week and then push on the voters as they slam all competitors.  I'm just waiting to see which of the minors they have selected.  I'm so jaded. 

Before I begin, I want to harken back to New Orleans and Sarah who was 28 and sent home.  I evidently was not the only one angered by her dismissal nor was I the only one to conclude that it was because she is old.  There were a lot of complaints from the viewers on various websites. As you recall, JLo doesn't like women who are 25 and older because they are jaded and the young things are so fresh and full of hope and spirit.  She doesn't seem to have the same problem with men in the 25-28 age bracket but that may be because she is looking for her next boy toy now that her "pappy" has left the scene and she is single.    

First up is Crazy Catherine with the pimp coat and spandex tights and a story about the coat being a gift from Bowie.  And a psychic cat called Mustafa who told her to audition.  She wants to be a rocker.  She sang a song by Florence and the Machine that I don't know.  I was so distracted by her antics that I don't really know if she was any good or not and I'm pretty sure she is not as crazy as she wanted everyone to believe but I'm so jaded.  I am going to either love her or hate her if she gets very far.  If she makes Lovey the Bada Bing girl look bad, I'm going to love her.  If she is just a brat trying to be different, I'm probably not going to love her.  At least she didn't have hair extensions.  I'll give her credit for that.  She gets no credit for having a psychic cat.  My cat Maxine is psychic too.  Right now she is telling me in her own special way (sitting on my mouse hand)  that I am going to get up and give her some  food in the next few moments.  I don't think Catherine is the chosen one.

Next up is a montage of Erika, Chandler and Ryan.  Erika and Ryan are a yawn.  But I'm so jaded.  Chandler might have some potential.  All go through although Keith wasn't in love with Erika (and neither was I). 

Andrew Bloom and Kelly with the red pants are up next. I have no independent recollection of what they sang or whether they were any good or not because I was busy being jaded (and feeding my psychic cat).   

Reno, who appears to be Hawaiian but I'm not sure comes from a huge family.  Sixty of them lived in one house at one time.  He sleeps in the garage on the floor.  They liked him and he went through.  Seemed a nice enough guy but I'm not overly impressed with his talent.  But, I'm over 25 and I'm jaded.

Samuel Prince who is really from Puerto Rico comes in and the producers would have us believe that the judges are just being clued in on Sam's plan to do a soap opera improv with their participation.  He calls them all up  and starts berating JLo in Spanish.  She may or may not have understood what he was saying.  She slaps him. He cannot sing worth a bean and he doesn't go to Hollywood. Jaded much? 

A gal in a tiara comes on and sings Dancing in the Street while shaking her booty and she is sent home.  Mercifully.  But I bet you dollars to donuts that if she was 15 or 16 and thin she would have gone through to Hollywood.

For the first time this season I was correct on the guess yes or no audience game and the guy with the odd hair goes home.  I guess they have filled the boxes for emos with guitars this season.  

Even though I am jaded, I liked the next guy, Ray Vaughn (or Ravon?) Owen.  

The Cardenas twins come out and its unclear if one or both of them is auditioning.  One plays an out of tune guitar and his brother has to start over and Harry is appalled at their lack of preparation.  They go home. 

And, finally, the one I have been waiting for all night.  The Chosen One:  Maddie Hudson.  She is 16, very pretty, dressed in an offbeat style but not too out there, and probably has hair extensions to go with her wine red lipstick.  She is a mama's girl.  She sang a song I don't know called Resentment (I think) and they all fell in love with her.  Harry tells her she is going to be a star.  If JLo had confetti with her it would have been thrown right then.  They think she will win.  I think she will come in 2nd place behind a WGWG (white guy with guitar).  In fairness, she seemed like a nice girl.  I say "seemed" because I'm jaded.  

One more night in San Francisco (I was hoping for only one night in that town) and then the auditions are over. Praises be!