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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Cry Me A River!

How many sob stories can they fit into 50 minutes? Four tonight. The guy with the two babies who came from the projects. The guy with Tourette's Syndrome. The girl who may be raising her little brother alone because her parents divorced and abandoned them for their new spouses (or maybe not...maybe she is just like any other person whose parents divorce). And the coup de grace...the cancer survivor! According to the spoiler websites...none of these make it into the final 24.

The only one who was remotely interesting tonight was Todrick. Who make up the song about idol. He is a semi-professional guy so will make it into the top 24 (I cheated and looked).

Tonights show was interesting only in comparison to the spectacle that followed it on every network in the world. Which I did not watch. If the man has shut up about himself after an hour of blather, I may go see what the pundits think of him. I seriously considered watching the man talk and enduring it by playing a drinking game and taking a drink everytime he said *I.* I suspect I would not be able to type this if I had.

Next week on idol, evidently some woman comes in buck nekkid to the audition in an effort to upstage both bikini girl and Kara. I don't think Victoria Beckham will be amused.

Right now, I am just waiting for these stupid audition shows to end.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Is This All LA Has to Offer?

Okay, I'm officially over the misfits. First up was the the guy with the IQ of 168 who was beyond annoying. After telling us how unique, special, brilliant, inspired, etc. he is about everything in the universe and possibly beyond, he is asked what he would title his album, should he win. *Hope*, he says. How completely and utterly banal. And, thank goodness his kind of hope died last week in Massachusetts.

Then there is the worship pastor who Kara and Avril don't think will have time to be a star. I thought he was ok but I don't think he is going to be in the top 24.

Then comes Damien singing that *other* Righteous Brothers song. Of couse he was atrocious and I wonder...did he fart at the end of it? Or did he just realize he stunk up the house figuratively?

Eighteen minutes into the show and we have not seen a woman audition yet, unless you count the random montages of those who *made it* or *didn't make it*. Finally, Mary (no last name given...I wonder why?) comes in and does a pretty good job. She will probaby crash and burn in Hollywood.

Then comes the Adam Lambert clone who is not Adam Lambert and doesn't make it.

Next day we get Katy Perry as a guest judge who I only heard of this past month. And a bunch more *bad* auditions. Andrew Garcia has a sob story. He grew up in the barrio. His father is crying. We know he will make it before he sings because they would never show his father crying unless he does make it.

Then there is sweet Tasha who is ok and makes it but I doubt she makes it through Hollywood week.

Finally, the big sob story of the night, the foster kid. I liked him actually but enjoyed Katy Perry telling Kara that his story didn't matter...it was whether or not he had talent. Katy Perry seemed to be pretty dismissive of all the judges. Thats ok, Katy, the time will come when you too will be a has been and will be thrilled to have a gig like judging American Idol. Or maybe she is already audtioning for Simon's seat next year. I bet he doesn't make it through Hollywood week either.

The good news is that AI is going back to the old format of a top 24 that we all vote on. No wild card etc. The bad news is that I have already seen the spoilers and know who is going to be in the top 24 pretty much. If you want to know ahead of time go to votefortheworst.com.

Also, it appears Ellen is not amused by Simon's diva work ethic and was pretty pissed off when he arrived 2 hours late for a Hollywood session after she had rearranged her own schedule to be there on time. Might be interesting to see how this plays out.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

A New Season

Tonight was the first night I really paid attention to the show....sorry. Had family emergency last week and fell asleep last night and missed first 30 minutes.

And, it has occurred to me that readers from last year might not remember the format of our blog. Auntee (that would be me) types in Red and KK types in purple blue. Or she did last year...she may change her color this year! But I'm going to stick with the red because I like attention.

OK...my thoughts on the season thus far...a bit sedate from what I have seen. No bikini girl, no Tatiana. A lot of mediocre singers and a few horrible ones. The auditions are my least favorite part of the show anyway...and they seem even more tedious this year. Maybe I miss Paula or maybe the talent (even the joke talent) is just getting monotonous.

So far what I've seen is same old same old...the drag queen who is not talented; the sob stories (autistic son...almost died of anaphalactic shock...paralyzed face...although I suppose the ex-con was a new twist on the theme); the best friend/sister duos; and the psycho who won't leave and has to be taken out by security (I'm about 85% sure that was all phony baloney staged). Last night I was not impressed with anyone who performed and got through. Tonight I thought the autistic boy's father was good and seemed to be a decent guy but I doubt he is *cool* enough to make it through Hollywood week and I sincerely hope if he does he will not do a Gokey and sing songs making sure we know all about his son. Germaine was good too. Also, the Troubled ex-con was impressive but I'm thinking he is going to be the Michael Sarver of the season and will lose the judges praise pretty quickly.

NONE of the women they showed impressed me at all. I hope that there was someone I missed in the earlier shows or someone that they didn't show who has a decent voice. The Jersey girls? OMG....Hollywood fodder for sure! I liked Shelby's personality but man...she butchered Norah Jones (although that is a hard song), and the three they sandwiched in whose names they did not reveal all sounded terrible to me. Surely there are more talented women out there than we saw tonight?

Hope next week is the last audition week.

As for the judges...Simon needs to get in the game or go home. Kara is trying to be less of a bitch but she really lacks the ability to read people if she could not see that the pyscho tonight was psycho and needed to be handled more carefully (which supports my view that was all phony baloney staged drama using some out of work actor). In fact...the more I think about it, I am now 95.9% sure it was staged.

Oh well...on to next week!

Thursday, January 14, 2010


Unfortunatey, I was unable to watch the program on Tuesday and missed all but the last 30 minutes on Wednesday. (Mr. Auntee does not think DVR is a reasonable expense for my TV). So, I can barely comment except to say that Simon appears to have mentallly checked out of the show contemplating his X Factor show next season (he physically checked out of several of the auditions on Wednesday...probably fielding important phone calls about X Factor or trying to find out what the most expensive watch in the world is). Kara seems to be more confident, but her *grooving* with the songs is a bit awkward...that is Paula's trademark, Kara, and you just look like a dork when you try it. Mary J Blige probably won't be making Idol judging her next career move (she looked bored to tears), but I'm happy Kara got to get her Mary J. Blige fix after barking at that poor contestant, Lil, last year to start singing like Mary J Blige. Randy seems to have new enthusiasm for his role, perhaps contemplating his is going to be the big *DAWG* when Simon leaves.

As for the contestants....well to be fair I didn't see many of them but I second Mary J Blige's opinion about the ones I did see, with the exception of the ineligible guy...Mr. *Pants on the Floor*. I hope he gains a bit of fame and attention for becoming a cultural warrior against *pants on the floor*.

Next week, barring unforeseen circumstances, Auntee will return with a more discerning commentary.