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Thursday, February 24, 2011

Interchangeable Dime A Dozen Diva Wanna Bees and Two Kids Were Robbed

First, note the new title, courtesy of Mr. Auntee. As Monica and I were watching Idol tonight and he was making one of his many trips to the john (he's getting old you know), he asked: *Is that more American Idolness?*. I like it so I stole it.

Now, MRS. Auntee is not entirely upset about the top 24. I will predict right now the winner will be a guy because all of the women with the possible exceptions of Haley Reinhardt and Rachel Zevita are Interchangeable Dime A Dozen Diva Wanna Bees (DAD for short). I don't think the audience is going to be able to tell the difference between Karen Rodgriguez, Julie Zorilla, Lauren Turner and Pia Toscano. I would add in Thia Megea to the group but she is Asian so maybe America will be able to tell her apart from the other DADs. Then there are the blondes, Kendra and Lauren A. I'm going out on a limb here and think Kendra will be voted off right away. Not because she isn't as good as the other DADs or maybe even better but because she is *old* (at 23 or so) and she has some smarts and looks like she doesn't take any guff. Consequently, I plan to vote for her unless she just really stinks on Wednesday night. Rachel Zevita is unique only in that she is not quite a DAD but more of a MCWB (Mariah Carey Wanna Be). I don't like Mariah Carey and while I have nothing against Rachel personally, she doesn't move me. Two contestants I want to see voted off right away (but probably will make it to the top 10) are Lauren A and Thia Megea. I don't like Lauren's sexing it up at age 15 with Steven Tyler and Thia is a plant from America's Got Talent and seems very full of herself. I may be wrong and Thia may be the sweetest little thing in the world but I just have a visceral (although irrational) dislike for her that dates from her audition. So...of the women I'm rooting for Haley at the moment.

Now for the men. Complete waste of spots for Clint Jun Dung and Jordan Dorsey. Clint is just a jerk and should be punished for what he did to Jaycee. He has no soul and I cannot fathom I will ever get goose bumps from hearing him (and not just because he is gay...I occasionally got goosebumps from Adam Lambert). Jordon the *music teacher* Dorsey who refused to let people into one group because *it just wasn't going to work* and then jumped ship to another group is another souless performer. He falls into the category of Interchangeable R&B Singer (IRS)...which is admittedly a code word for a black guy who sings high notes. Fortunately, Jacob Lusk is competing for the R&B slot and will blow Jordan away. Clint and Jordan robbed sweet Jaycee and Colton of their rightful place (and probably some others as well who were not featured).

Other than Clint and Jordan, I like all of the men finalists more or less. Robby Rosen reminds me of Anoop and I don't think he is going to last long. James Durbin is NOT Adam Lambert. Javony (sp) wasn't featured much but he might hang on as he is definitely a hunk. I'm going to predict that Scott, Casey Abrams*, Jacob Lusk and Tim Halperin make it to the final 6. The other two slots are up for grabs.

No one is going to make me vote for them more than a few times at this point.

As for the show itself, we can see the more expert hand of Nygel Lythgoe. We were not too sidetracked by people going nowhere and I liked the way they interwove the final song with the contestants.

*TMZ is reporting that Casey Abrams was hospitalized with stomach pains Wednesday and that as the Tuesday show tapes tomorrow, he may be out. I hope he is not but if he is, pray that they don't bring back Chris Medina..

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Boo, Hoo, and Who?

Boo! Jun Dung aka Moonman (Mr. Auntee calls everyone with those round glasses *Moonman* and I don't really know why) aka Jun Bug or is that Jun Smug is in the final 24. He is so happy to be able to show America the *kind of artist I wanna be*. America has already seen what kind of an a-hole you are Dung, and I hope it does not forget. Kudo's to Randy for reminding the viewing audience that he was the jerk who kicked sweet faced Jaycee out of the group in Hollywood week. I don't think America will forget that and if he draws a large segment of voters I will be surprised. He is not cute enough for the tweens, the frauen like me hate him for beating up on Jaycee, and the twenty-thirty somethings will find a heterosexual hearthrob among the final 12 men to latch on to. At least I sincerely hope so. I want him soundely rejected by all decent Americans. He has *worked so many years in music*. Hardly dude...it was a friggin Karaoke bar.

Hoo: Jennifer Lopez has what appears to be a genuine breakdown when she has to tell Chris Medina goodbye. This was a true shocker as I didn't think the show could waste that back story and that he was a shoe-in for the final 24. But he really didn't sing very well. To his credit, he took it like a man and I have a little bit of respect for him for that...or as much as I can have for a guy who traded on his girlfriend's brain injury to get on a talent show.

Who? After saying the entire show we were going to find out who the final 24 are we really only learn about the fate of 6 or 7. Of those who were announced tonight, I cannot say I am unhappy. I liked Paul McDonald, the soft voiced singer but he probably won't stand a chance. Naimeh seems like a nice down to earth person. Ashton fills the Whitney/Marish/Jennifer Hudson slot and I am hoping she fares better than the contestants chosen to fill that slot for the past 3 or 4 years. Haley Reihnhardt intriques me. I like her unusual jazzy voice although when she first auditioned I don't think I thought much of her. She may overdo it though.

I KNOW who the top 24 are but I won't spoil it for you If you want to know you can go to votefortheworst.com or other sites to find out (will need to go to 2nd page of VFTW for the list). I will give KK a boost though. John Wayne is not in the top 24.

Besides Clint there are two girls who I would have liked to see NOT there and a few of both sexes I would like to hear more from.

Blessedly, the Obama girl is going back to the White House where she will presumably be able to offer tips on golf and basketball to our President while Libya explodes.

As for the overall production tonight, I wish we had seen more music and less walking down the runway of fate. I did like that they showed a clip of the contestants' final song before we heard the verdict but I don't see that they will have time to fit that in tomorrow.

And, FINALLY, the producers realized that Beatles songs are meant to be sung in a group and not solo (with the exception of Yesterday). I really enjoyed even the groups the judges thought were not so great (well except for crybaby Ashley...and we could have done without seeing her stupid wedding).

And finally again..I do not miss Simon in the least. I am loving these judges.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Karma Postscript

I have since learned that Clint Jun Dung has a last name and it is Gamboa. Remember that name so you can cheer when he is voted off or sent packing, whichever comes first. He will always be Dung to me.

Also, I forgot to mention the *ewww* factor performance, which featured Lauren, Steven's 17 year old protegee, putting him on a chair so she can do a sexy dance around him along with the lemmings in her group. I have come to LOVE Steven Tyler but this was very uncomfortable. Set some boundaries Steven. I may be a prude but there is just something really unsettling about a 17 year old sexing it up for an over 50 guy. I wish they all had gone home. I do not like Lauren one little bit. Her *great idea* was not so great for the other girls in her group and I hope they realize they were used for her own personal drama of *see how much Steven LOVES MEEEEE*. She is approaching Tatiana Del Toro stature here.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


The worst part of Hollywood Week is over. I always dread the stress of this episode as it usually involves some innocent getting jerked around by one or more of their group members and being cut (IMO) too soon. In prior years, it seemed the judges didn't even want to know about the antics that caused some groups to tank before they even got started. Well...NOT THIS YEAR!

Jaycee Badeaux.is fast becoming someone I am rooting for. I don't even know whether he sings that well. I just like the way he handled the humiliation of being thrown out of his group by Clint Jun (last name not remembered but lets just call him Clint Jun Dung). Clint, an Elton John wannabe with his glasses, took charge of his group. He grudgingly allowed Scotty in (who no one wanted probably because he doesn't look very cool and he also has that baritone country voice that no one knew how to deal with) and then dumps Jaycee saying something about him not being able to hold a note. At least one girl in the group and Scotty look upset by this cruelty but they don't fight back against Clint Jun Dung and let Jaycee walk away. His mother, bless her heart, does not allow Jaycee to blubber and tells him to make the best of it. So, he finds a group that NEEDS him and even though he has never heard the song they take him in with open arms. Poignantly, this group includes Carrot Top, Brett Lowenstern, who has known his share of random senseless cruelty and even though Jaycee doesn't know the words in the performance, the judges know he has been screwed and send him and the whole nice group through. Jaycee doesn't even whine to the judges and acts like *oh it was no big deal* but the judges are NOT happy and by the time Clint Jun Dung and his group come on, they are welcomed about as warmly as a pile of fresh dung. Scotty shows remorse. Clint really does not and acts like it was all an *artistic* choice. Who are you kidding Dung? You just didn't want the fat kid in the group because he wasn't cool enough for you. Sadly, Dung goes through. The good thing about all this is that all of America was watching Dung act like dung and I don't think he is going to be a fan favorite if he manages to make it to the point where America votes.

The Minors is a group of kids whose mothers coach them through the choreography and singing and they do a nice job. One group is miffed that the stage mothers are giving the Minors an advantage. They should have kept to their own business because when they perform they stink except for the kid with the Faux Hawk, Jason.

Grizzly Adams, Cawy Abrams sings with an acapella group. They needed the music. Casey makes it through even though most of the rest of the group does not. Chris Medina's group is mediocre, but he makes it through. Evidently, his girlfriend's mother is also jumping on the fame bandwagon and has started a blog about her daughter's reaction to seeing herself on TV...she beat her head against the wall in anger. So, while Chris and her mother may want to flaunt her condition for fame, it appears that Julieanna wants no part of this spectacle.

My little friend Emily Ann is cut..we don't know why.

Then there is Three's Company. For some reason the sad sack guy cannot leave the two harpies he is tied to (one is his ex-girlfriend and he is still very bitter about the breakup) and then pouts and acts like a tool through the whole evening. *I don't wanna dance* *I cannot learn the song*. Go to another group jerk. He is cut. The girls are not, even though I thought they were not much better than he was in the performance.

Ashly cannot stop crying for anything. She almost quits and I wish she would have. Miraculously, after her prima donna antics and diva breakdown, her group welcomes her back and they do just fine.

And finally...my favorite part of tonights episode. Tiffani Rios, who still has not bathed, cannot find a group that wants her even though she goes up and belts out her fabulousness at every one of them. Tiffani honey, even an attractive girl would have a hard time winning friends after your display of arrogance in your solo audition (*I have been watching everyone fail at what I know I can do*). You are not attractive. And you really only yell not sing. Some poor dumb blonde feels sorry for her and leaves a perfectly good group to join Tiffani. They cannot find a third. JLo senses disaster and a disaster it is but Tiffani is not to be dismissed lightly. She argues. Good riddance! Still, poor dumb blonde may have suffered unjustly. Nope..she suffered because she was dumb enough to join up with a big loser.

Tomorrow we get the solos again, this time with instruments if people use them. Will have to tape it because I will be out of town visiting KK.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Every Body Comes to Hollywood!

Season 10! Thanks Randy for correcting me. Double the contestants and double the talent! Well...double the contestants anyway. Out of the 327 most talented singers in America, we glimpsed about 30 tonight. The rest of the ones who survived the first two days evidently did not appeal to the producers or they didn't have a sad story. So, of the ones we saw, here is my brief assessment (basically I rated them on a *love them, hate them, or who cares* criteria.

IF in fact, Brett Lowenstern, aka Carrot Top, age 16 was the very first contestant to sing in Hollywood, then the Producers are diabolical. Take a kid who has been bullied his whole life, throw him into a pressure cooker where EVERYONE is listening to him and then make him the first to perform. Nice! Unfortunately for bullies everywhere, Brett came through with a rather nice rendition of Let It Be. I marginally care but not a whole lot.

Brett is followed by Rachel Zevita and Thea Medea or the duelling divas. You say Zediva, I say Mediva and I wish they would call the whole thing off. I HATE them both.

Casey the one who looks like a grizzly bear makes it through. I love him. He doesn't sing standard songs, he is sort of jazzy (hard for a big red-headed white man to be) and seems confident but not full of himself.

Then, out comes little Miss Muffet, Victoria Huggins, the self-proclaimed American Idol 2011. I hate her before she starts singing and am thrilled when she sounds like a cat in heat. So she has to pack her eleven suitcases (boy was she ready for the long haul in Hollywood) and go home to be the self-proclaimed North Carolina Idol. Sorry honey...but North Carolina doesn't want you back.

Victoria is followed by James Durbin with the faux hawk (HATE it..get him a stylist NOW), autisim and Tourette's syndrome (I would like to stop mentioning the last two facts but Idol won't stop so why should I?). If anyone should have crumpled under the pressure this kid should have. He does NOT! And while he is a heterosexual Adam Lambert imitator and thus not that unusual (except for the Tourettes and the autisim), I'm sort of loving him.

A Celine Dion wannabe named Paris sings *My Heart will go on*. Who cares?

Someone named Stormy didn't make it through. Who cares?

Steven Tyler's prodigy Lauren makes it through. I don't care, and I don't understand why Steven does as she is virtually indistinguishable from any other moderately talented woman I've ever seen on this show.

Ah...Danny Gokey's prodigy, Chris Medina is up next. Not only does he growly sing like Danny, he surpasses him in the *use your dead wife to get ahead* race. Except Julie is not dead and is not Chris's wife. He is pretty much leaving her in the dust to pursue his dream and won't look back unless he has to. But we should admire him for it because ...she inspires him. I hate him and thought he sounded awful and I think the judges did too but couldn't bear to cut him right away.

We see a series of contestants who cannot handle the pressure. Bye!

Then a trio of Jacee Badeaux, Robbie Rosen, and Holly Cavanaugh. You cannot really hate a 15 year old fat kid like Jacee and he does have a sweet pure voice but he is not the next Justin Bieber even IF they send him to fat camp (as a fat person I understand the limitations). Robbie Rosen is in the who cares category and Holly Cavanaugh seemed to impress Randy but I thought she was off-key. I don't think she is the next Carrie Underwood and once again...I don't care.

Steve Bagoon the CPA didn't make it. I'm not sure it was because of his voice. I think he just didn't look like a *star* to them but like a boring CPA so they said Be Gone.

Then the love stories. First Rob and Chelsea who are ex-lovers but auditioned together and made it through this round together. Who cares? Then the really embarassing thing when the two lovers, Nick and Jacklin, sing. Neither was that good but for some reason they just ditched Nick (Jacklin will be coming along shortly Nick..don't worry). Nick begs and pleads for one more chance and sings himself out of the auditorium and you just know Jacklin was thinking *you butthead...you are embarassing me and they will think I'm a butthead just like you..so give it up already!*. Prognosis for their relationship? It ends at LAX.

Scotty, the OTHER 17 year old from North Carolina sings. Jennifer is in love and so am I. John Wayne whats his name does not stand a chance in the country role next to this guy.

Jackee somebody who I obviously don't care about because I cannot even remember what she looks like.

Jerome Bell. Hated his audition I and hated it again tonight.

Finally, the Jersey Shore arrives. Poor Travis. Just not that good and his sob story didn't carry him through.

Then..the Snookie wannabe who put stars on her boobs when she auditioned and comes out and announces that no one knows how to sing but her. I hated her *Snookie* ways in New Jersey and I hate her even more now. This girl does not even look CLEAN! Take a bath lady! Jennifer was not impressed but evidently the men were still looking at her boobs as she made it through. I hope she fails.

At the very end we learn that the Obama girl made it through (boo) and that Emily Ann the girl with the funny voice did too. Good for Emily Ann. Hopefully Obama girl will go soon.

Of course, by this time next week, when the finalists are announced, most if not all of the above will be a dim memory.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I Left My Fart In San Francisco

Sorry, I could NOT resist that title after the show opened with a weeping blonde who evidently farted in her audition and brought it to a speedy end. I wish they had shown her audition instead of that dufus in the car costume. I have often said about my least favorite contestants that they might as well have farted the song but this young lady evidently did! Newbomb Turk from the Hollywood Knights would be so proud!

But alas, she quickly went out of frame along with the pooping pigeons and we were introduced to Inessa from the Ukraine who presented herself as the most talented person in the universe. Inessa has to rank among the top 10 obnoxious candidates of all time. If she had actually been able to sing, I may have thrown up. Inessa the Messa. Look for her videos on YouTube, MySpace, or Facebook. She is evidently multi-talented and probably advertises on Craig's List as well...or did they shut down the hooker services on Craig's List?

There were about 8 candidates tonight that we saw only briefly. I barely remember them three hours after the show is over and I certainly won't remember them unless they do something remarkable in Hollywood.

At least 20 minutes had passed without a sob story, but Idol came through. The accident victim, Stefano, did a good Marvin Gaye imitation in Grapevine. One of the few I've seen audition who can actually sing that song on key.

The Karaoke guy surprised me because I thought he would be a joke audition. I thought he was kind of sweet but I don't recall much about his voice. Sadly, he has no sob story other than working in a Karaoke bar for three years so he will probably flame out in Hollywood.

Then the car guy rolled around the stage and didn't know the words to Born to Run. A complete waste of time unless he thought he was auditioning for some kiddie show. My grand nephew would have liked him. My sassy pants grand niece would have run far away from his crazy ass.

Next up, sob story 2, the girl from Columbia in the sparkly shoes and petticoat skirt. I actually liked her outfit. And her father. Her singing I thought was ho-hum.

Then, in order to make Steven Tyler (who we all know wouldn't hurt a fly) look mean, they showed him staring blankly at some joke contestants. Although I think Dave the Rocker really did kind of tick him off because Steven had high hopes for him and he stunk up the house (figuratively, unlike our title contestant).

Sob story 3...Emily Ann whose house burned down. I liked her voice. Sort of Billie Holliday old time record voice...but...she looks like she won't be able to handle pressure too well and this will probably be the last we see of her.

And finally...the sob story that just may be as compelling as the guy with the brain-damaged girlfriend...the autistic guy with Tourette's. You had to love this guy but you also had to hate his hair. WHY???? WHY??? is that rooster head hair all the rage? I hope he can handle Hollywood.

KK missed the show tonight as she was involved in her own not so little production of a son who weighed 8 lbs, 15 oz, was 21 inches long and looks like he's ready for some sort of defensive position on one of next year's superbowl teams. I hope she is resting because heaven knows she needs it. Come to think of it, I think that kid was born while AI was airing!

Tomorrow....Hollywood. I am already tense because I know there will be some villian who will trample on the competition and unjustly get ahead.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Cowboys and Misfits

SO glad KK is back with her subtle take on AI Season 12. I missed the Nashville auditions because I thought AI broadcasted at 8 pm last Thursday and perhaps I missed the best of the audition shows as this week's talent was very sparse.

I didn't take notes when I watched last night and truly could only remember 3 contestants today. The infamous John Wayne Cowboy, the Cowboy with the sister, and the girl from Liverpool who puddled when she realized she screwed up *At Last*. Then they showed a clip of the last contestant last night. The curly haired guy who scatted. I don't remember his name but I would like to see more of him.

Clearly, AI producers flew into LA every joke contestant they came across in every city thus far. I'm not even going to comment on them except for Taneesha who has spent time with artistes (ar tist tuhs).

They only showed 4 people going through. Tim with the crush on JLo, The brothers who sang the duet (and it was good but they have to sing alone in Hollywood); and the MySpace queen Karen Rodriguez who wants to be the first Latina idol (she left me cold);

Thank the heavens that there is only one more audition night to sit through next week and then to Hollywood. I don't know how many people got a golden ticket but I'm guessing 300-400. I don't have a favorite yet, but like KK I have a nemesis and that is the Self-Important Blonde who works for Obama.

The blogging sites say that they have not yet decided the top 20 (or are in the process of doing so right now). Unlike previous years, the contestants went back home from Hollywood not knowing if they made it or not and were to come back in February for the final cut. The only one I am confident will be there is Chris Medina as how could they let that story go to waste? Also...it appears that Thea Madea (Magea) is a ringer which explains why the producers sent her to Milwaukee to audition. She probably didn't stand in line to see Danny Gokey and perhaps didn't even have to pay her own way there...so sadly we will be seeing a lot of her I expect.

I solemnly VOW not to get so crazy about a contestant this year as I was about Crystal Bowersox last year. First, all that obsessive voting took up way to much of my time. Second, it made me far to nice to be an effectively snarky blogger as I was *Crystalized* into sweetness and light.

And, we are all praying that KK's male child will sleep!

Hot Nemesis

I truly do have 600 new, stressful things going on in my life right now. But my AI dedication is SO STRONG, that I can dedicate a few quick seconds to call out my Season 10 Nemesis. That's right, this soon. Even before Hollywood week.

***Disclaimer: You may remember 2 seasons ago when I was super pregnant, which often led to irrationally moody and harsh criticism of just about every. single. person. to appear on AI? For the next couple of weeks (or less, if I can help it) that pregnancy lunacy is back. So, I apologize in advance.***

Season 10 Nemesis: Hot Cowboy with Homophobic Father

"I've never left my ranch", "I love my Mama because she's a breast cancer survivor", "I'm the type of guy your parents want you to bring home", "shucks, aren't I sweet"

1st we meet the homophobic father who tells Ryan Seacrest "if you'd been my son, you wouldn't be the way you are".

What *way* is that? A bajillionaire? A super successful TV and radio host?

Oh, no, you meant "a man's man". Thank God you named your son John Wayne to guarantee he'd grow up to be manly. Because Heaven Forbid you'd have a son named John Wayne who liked to dress up in designer clothes, pay for expensive haircuts, and get spray tans.

(Why, yes, I am about to deliver a son. Anybody want to suggest some names that will make him sleep through the night immediately?)

I've been around the block enough times to pin-point this one from "meet my Homophobic dad, and my meek mother who doesn't speak out of turn, as I swagger into the room": Phony, Fake, Jerk

And, sure enough, I have some ammo:


He's hot though. Damn it.