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Thursday, May 12, 2011

God Bless the USA

My dialing fingers are tired. I have voted, a lot, for the 1st time this season. Mr. KK (who has now been outed as an Idol watcher) voted until his cell phone battery died.

I did it to right an injustice.

Worst to best:

Scotty - Let me start by saying this: I'm OVER Scotty's holier than though ultra-conservative/religious schtick. Kissing the cross after meeting Gaga? Because she told you to sing straight into the microphone? To save your soul, I guess? WTF?

He pulled a stunt straight out of the Kristy Lee Cook playbook and found a song about God, September 11th, and America all in one. Plus, Bin Laden is dead, so the timing of his "Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning" was genius. Horribly exectued from a "Am I watching a 6th grade play" standpoint, but who is going to critique a song about America?

Both of Scotty's songs were boring as hell. I've never heard "Young Blood" and I hope I never hear it again. Performance wise, it was, again, totally safe. Didn't show any actual "talent", and could've been sung exactly that well by any 1/2 drunk cowboy at a line-dancing bar. Although the 1/2 drunk cowboy probably would've had better moves.

Lauren Alaina - Another brilliant competitive play: reminding America that you're from an area devestated by tornadoes. Pulled at heart-strings, mentioned God, check. But again, poor execution. And I won't even comment on the dress. Oops, I just did.

I agree with Auntee about the "I'm evil" deal, too. If you don't want to say you're evil, why'd you pick a song ENTIRELY about being evil? (Because, I see now, Sto-blah and Lieb-blah don't give many options.)

I like Lauren, but both performances tonight were Toddlers and Tiaras. Complete with ridiculous pagenty outfits, and obsurd false eyelashes.

James - *Disclaimer I had no idea Randy was in Journey. Even though they mentioned it, apparently, 87 times during the show.*

Another brilliant competitive choice. Thanks to The Sopranoes, Glee, and Rock of Ages, "Don't Stop Believin'" is well known by even the newest of cell phone wielding teeny-boppers. Again, though, I think it was boring and safe. He sang it EXACTLY like Journey.

Love Potion No. 9 is quite possibly the dumbest song ever written. Although, I'll admit to liking it when I was 5 or 6 years old. He used some pyro at the end, so I guess it seemed "rocker"?

Haley - After weeks of being lambasted while her competitors are over-praised, Haley finally stood up for herself. I normally hate it when contestants argue with the judges, but last night I wished they'd cut off J-Lo and Randy's mics, and let Haley blast *them*.

Was her "Earth Song" the best performance she's ever given? Maybe not. (Mr. KK believes that she's pandering to Jacob's fans by including the gospel choir.) Was it 100 times better than Scotty's boring ass performance? Hands down.

And "I Who Have Nothing" could not BE more appropriate for her at this point in time. Not only did she do exactly what Gaga told her to (which, incidentally, gave me chills when she did it - Gaga is brilliant), but she blew her cheesy, gyrating, eyebrow wiggling, teeny-bopper, competition straight out of the water.

If I ruled the results - Scotty or Lauren would be on their way out.

But I'm afraid it will be Haley.

Also, last night affirmed my love for all things Gaga. She's brilliant, crazy, and amazingly talented. I loved watching her interact with the contestants (especially Scotty and Lauren who were terrified of her), and as far as I'm concerned, she could permanently replace Jimmy Iovine.