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Friday, April 29, 2011

Mr. Kissy

Gettin' a little pushy with those lips since he laid them on JLo. But he went out with class, and I agree with Jimmy that Casey is going to have a good career as a singer/songwriter/artist, because he is very talented.

Crystal Bowersox looked gorgeous. Celebrity has done wonders for her. Her song was a little boring, maybe, a little too folksy for my taste. But she is so talented, and so fun to watch.

I think Bruno Mars' Lazy Song is stupid. Although, I woke up this morning singing "today I just don't feel like doing anything", and considered calling in sick to work to watch William and Kate.

I'm obviously hacked off that Jacob is still around. He's like Pukaletta - except less talented and worse dressed - in that he just won't GO AWAY. I honestly don't know who is voting for him, because I'm hard pressed to find anybody on the internet brave enough to post that they like him.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

jSomeone's Got a Spell on Him..

Jacob, that is. How did he survive that awful performance not to mention his clown suit? Yes, a lot of people don't get Jazz and Casey was a little too impressed with his own genius to actually sing as opposed to growl (jazz CAN be sung), but WHO is voting for Jacob? I've been hoping to see the last of him since the week Pia went home. Although given Pia's fame chasing since her elimination, I'm glad she is gone too.

Ryan played games with us and didn't give us a bottom three. My guess is Scotty got the highest number of votes, despite the faux tension Ryan tried to create. I'm glad they called Haley safe first because her very existence is driving the St. Pia fan's insane. Speaking of Haley, I don't think there is any doubt now that she and Casey are an item and I think that is sweet. I liked how he sang the last few notes to her at the end. I also liked the positive way her performed his song. No tears from him!

It was great to see Crystal again but I wish she had sung a better song. I suppose it was appropriate for the setting, though..encouraging the Idols to just sing. I wish Ryan had found the time to talk with her and let her plug her album and appearances.

Bruno Mars was ok but the song lyrics were a little risque for the 7 pm time slot...hand down his pants, birthday suit, and great sex. But who am I kidding? Kids today know way too much.

No word yet on next week's theme but we are going to get another overwrought but boring performance from Jacob.

I liked the Medley and thought Lauren and Haley sounded great together. Also, Scotty proved he can sing something not country, but his detractors won't admit it.

Tomorrow is the Royal Wedding so I'm off to bed.

Bobbing Bow Ties

I'll be honest from the get-go: Before tonight started, I wasn't sure I'd know any of Carole King's songs. Turns out, I did know a few (thanks, Mom & Dad), but I'm not expert on how things should sound, how the song was meant to be performed, or the emotions intended, etc. All I'm going on is what I heard tonight.

Best to Worst:

James Durbin for the WIN! Blew the other contestants away. BLEW them AWAY! From the 1st strum on his guitar, I had goosebumps. And they never left until he was done. Randy is right: James will win this whole thing if he keeps this up. Yes, James, I WILL still love you tomorrow!

Haley - Honestly, I think hers would be the only record I'd BUY. She's just so my style - her voice is so interesting, and just so good! I've never heard Beautiful, but I loved the way that Haley did it. I'm glad JLo commented that she had one of the best voices in the competition because Haley deserved some good praise tonight!

Scotty - I had him in the #1 slot until James and Haley performed, because I really liked how he took a little bit of the country out of You've Got a Friend, and just made it smooth. I also think he toned down the sideways microphone and eyebrow waggle, which helped.

Casey - I tell you why I like him: I had a boyfriend once that would take me out to this seedy jazz bar where the bartender had a heavy hand, the room was filled with smoke, and you couldn't even see the other patrons because they were hunkered down in their dark booths listening to incredible jazz. I can't help it - I like the piano, the trumpets, the hat.

Lauren - She's 16. When I was 16, I'd wake up at 4:30am and spend hours primping so I looked perfect for school. I had self-confidence issues, and I didn't have the entire country blogging about the size of my ass. Was her performance stellar? No. Did the judges throw her a bone when her voice cracked to save her from breaking down? Absolutely. But I felt a pang of sadness when I saw her tear up, because she's SIXTEEN and I've been a 16 year old girl.

Jacob - I'm convinced that his stylist goes home and night and tells her husband "you're not going to believe what I convinced this kid to wear today" and then they laugh and laugh. (I'm not even commenting on his singing. I'm done. It's just getting ridiculous here.)

Bottom three should be: Jacob, Lauren, Casey

Bottom three will be: Jacob, Casey, Haley

I worry that Haley might be going home this week. Which would be wrong.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Tapestry or Travesty

For women of a certain age (mine), Carole King is a goddess. She was a pioneer in the pop music industry with the added bonus that her songs told stories that all women knew. Tapestry was the largest selling album for years until Thriller took its place. So...I was looking forward to tonight with some trepidation. Would they choose the right song? Would they do the songs justice? I think they hit it at about 50% travesty and 50% tapestry.

Ryan starts with a montage of Carole King, telling us about her 118 songs on the Billboard 100 and all the artists who she wrote hits for and then says she is arguably the best female songwriter of her generation. Well, I don't think there is any arguably about it. There may be one or two songs written by a female that are arguably better than any she wrote (Joni Mitchell's Both Sides Now comes to mind), but no one can match Carole in terms of the number of hits...and I would take the female out of it and say she is arguably the best songwriter of her generation and counting, period. Rumor has it that when the Beatles first came to America, they wanted to meet her and Gerry Goffin because the Beatles considered them *royalty*...and she was just getting started then.

Sadly, if you aren't familiar with her songs, you probably are wondering what all the fuss is about because a good half of the songs sung tonight were those which surely were on the B side of the 45. In the olden days, you bought these things called records which revolved on your record player at various speeds...the most common of which were 33 rpm (an album) which had like 12 songs or 45 rpm (a *45*) which had an *A* side (which was the hit) and a *B* side which was the filler. (I also remember 78 rpms and wonder where mom's and dad's went). So, for example, the 45 of the Beatles first US hit *I Want to Hold Your Hand* had on the B side a song called *Roll Over Beethoven* or maybe it was *Kansas City*.

I will start with the Tapestry.

The only two who chose the perfect songs for them and nailed the performances were James and Scotty, with James just narrowly edging out Scotty for best of the night. First of all, those two read the AI forum boards and listen to their fans because the overall consensus was that Scotty should sing *You've Got a Friend* and that James should sing *Will You Love Me Tomorrow* (a counterintuitive but very popular choice of the Durbinators).

I did NOT want Scotty to sing You've Got a Friend but everyone else did. It has been sung by so many drunks in so many bars (including me in my wild youth) and for me, the magic was gone from that song. And I wanted to marry James Taylor. I could not see how Scotty could do anything with that song that had not been done before. With excellent mentoring, he did. And a big raspberry to Randy criticizin g him for not sustaining the high notes...and least his voice didn't crack and he hit them. He toned down his eyebrow moves and his sideways smile and actually, I thought he was singing to someone in particular. Yes, he still had some country flavor to it, but it wasn't dominant and I think his fellow Carolinian, James Taylor, would not have disapproved (nor would Carole King).

Well, you cannot mess up starting acapella unless you don't hit the notes and James hit his notes. Steven wasn't a fan of the faster part but I thought that James hit the right combination. He gave it a bit of the late 50's early 60's rock feel staying true to the melody before he went into his James high notes. I am going back and forth on whether I liked him or Scotty better tonight.

I have been waiting all season for a *moment* and for me, Scotty and James gave me two *moments* in a row.

My third favorite performance was Haley's. I am faulting her on song choice and not execution. Her voice was made to sing Carole King and she chose a song that is not all that well known even if it was on the Tapestry album. I'm not sure she *got* the *get* as much as she should have but for once she *got* some mentoring. Evidently the new guy didn't know that Haley is the pariah and actually thought she has some talent and wanted to help her so Iovine had to go along with it. St. Pia's fans will never vote for her, but I think there might be some others who are starting to see her talent. Randy the Haley hater had to be critical. I'm beginning to think she spurned his advances or something as much as he has it in for her. DAWG...get over it...Pia is GONE!

I am probably alone in just being sick of Casey. I know he loves Haley, I know he has some sort of bowel disease, I really like jazz and I know he is considered a genius but for heaven's sake...just SING ! Stupid song choice....*Hi De Ho*....I don't even know what the real song title is. Stupid facial expressions. Constant growling. Great comradarie with the musicians on stage who I'm sure were impressed with the 5 notes he played on the piano. Maybe Carole's *Jazzman* was too obvious but he could have done about 105 of her other songs.

Did you notice that Lauren was wearing a tiara in her joint interview with Scotty? You all scoffed at me when I said she was better suited for the Toddlers and Tiara circuit than American Idol. Evidently, she has not recovered after the mild criticism she got in week 3 and has to be propped up, like a toddler. Last week, Iovine brings in Miley Cyrus's managers to give her a boost. That didn't work so well. So, this week he brings in Miley herself! Lauren's song choice was not bad but not inspired. She did start shaking her little booty around some and tried to hit some high notes (evidently she feels bad because she cannot hit high notes and this has sapped her confidence). What the heck was that thing with the audience guy? At first I thought it might be her cousin or brother but apparently she just randomly brought some guy up on the stage to play cutesie with. The fact that she missed a big high note was deemed good by the judges. (I'm sure Scotty is thinking WTF?) Talk about low expectations. Lets just give her the Little Miss Congeniality crown and let her go home.

Jacob chooses a song that no one knows...I'm pretty sure Carole forgot she wrote that song as she has written 5000 or so of them. Utter disaster. If I had paid for a cruise and he was the lounge act, I would have moved on to the casino.

I like the duet concept but they need to shake it up some and sing with different partners. I think they all got hit with this at pretty much the last minute. Strangely, the one I liked most was James and Jacob but maybe it was because I like James and could ignore Jacob. I will give the other two credit for choosing very good songs but I liked *Moanin'* better for Casey and Haley and *I Told You So* better for Lauren and Scotty.

Bottom 3 should be: Jacob(going home), Lauren, and Casey

Bottom 3 will be: Jacob(going home), Haley, and Casey.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Boy You're An Alien

C'ya Stefano. It was time. And I hope when he said "this is the start of my career", it's not just a career as a male stripper.

I know NONE of the words to the ET song, but I've been singing it since last night. At 3:00 am, feeding my 10-week old son, I caught myself humming about aliens and abductions. It's creeping me out that it's just. that. catchy.

The aliens dancing were weird. Katy Perry (who I generally think is gorgeous) looked weird. And Kanye (who I generally think is absolutely nutzo) looked normal. I'm convinced that after the Taylor Swift fiasco, Kanye is forcing restraint on himself, and last night he actually let Katy Perry take over the "I'm nutzo" spotlight. I liked the performance ... I hope my baby son does, too, over and over and over.

And they just don't make AI contestants like David Cook anymore do they? He's just in a league of his own.

Yeah, I have an album out, but let's talk about this charity for a cure for brain cancer and my Mom's dream to meet Stephen Tyler. David Cook, I love you.

Looking forward to next week, although I'm afraid Auntee will need to take the lead as I'm expecting to know very few of the songs.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Bada Bing Bada Boo Bada Bye Bye

After 7 long weeks and all but one (if my memory serves me correctly) spent in jeopardy, Stefano Langone sings Goodbye. I cannot say I will miss his performances, particularly if he was heading in the *I'm so studly* direction he took this week. He seems to have been well-liked by all the contestants, particularly James, (and Casey had his head in his hands) and he went out with class so good luck to him. Whether we will ever hear his name again is something I doubt, but you never know. I did think the highlight of tonight's show was the bear hug James gave Stefano as he sung his last note. Of course, a few people who commented on the AI forum decided James was just trying to horn in on Stefano's last moment and steal his thunder. I didn't see it that way at all.

I was thrilled to see Jacob in the bottom three and I hope it was the bottom 2 and that next week he sings his last diva glory note. When the two were standing there, I had a moment of indecision. Did I want to see Jacob's arrogant self go home or live with the Stefano drama one more week. Jacob just cannot help himself...he is the world to him. When Brian asked him how he felt about possibly going home he said: *I'm just so grateful I could share my gift with America*. Well Jacob, I didn't ask for your gift and I suppose it is rude to return it to you, but could I please put it in the back of my junk closet for the next 20 years and leave it for KK to sell at my estate sale?

The group performances by contestants were nothing special tonight . I guess they cannot have a *moment* each week but I wish they had been better.

It was nice to see KK's boyfriend, David Cook but I was not jumping up and down for his new song. He is such a class act, though. And he loves his mother and made sure she got to meet Steven Tyler...on camera no less. So that was a nice moment.

I know why Katy Perry is big...she is a beautiful young woman and seems to have a great sense of humor and I think does a lot of public service. But that SONG and that production...you couldn't even see her behind the costume and WHAT is with every new song, no matter what it is about, with some sort of rap/hip hop beginning, middle and end. The melodies to these new songs are all starting to sound alike too. They all have a chorus which takes a note up an octave. I miss performers just standing there and singing.

Next week, Carole King, which should favor Haley and Lauren. A lot of music to choose from. I hope Scotty picks something decent. At one point, I knew the entire Tapestry album by heart but now I will have to go on the net to remind me of all the songs she wrote by herself and with her first husband Gerry Goffin (I always confuse him with David Geffin) and later collaborators. Just did a quick Wiki search and she has had 118 songs on the Billboard charts so surely these kids can find something to suit them. Please, however, no Natural Woman (didn't someone already do that this year?). Also, there are reports that Crystal Bowersox will sing at the results show next week, which will thrill me and it is appropriate to the theme. I

I'm still a Rockstar (on the train to crazy-ville)

Best to Worst:

Ashton, Karen, Naima, Thia, Pia & Paul - Hysterical! The girls are so focused on strutting around in trampy leather outfits that they forget to sing the 1st verse on key. And then the doors open up and Paul comes stumbling out in his token stupid-flower-suit like a drunken monkey.

Pia's belting out her Mariah/Whitney/Celine notes,
Thia's giving the pagent faux-smile,
Naima is "yeah, yeahing" it up,
Ashton's wagging her diva head around, and
Karen's faux-flashing her Latina boobs by opening up her leather vest over and over.
All the while Paul is trying not to flail off the stage.

None of them care that they're not singing *with* each other, or that they're not singing on-key. "So What" was the funniest thing I've seen on Idol in a long time. I spent the entire performance cracking up.

What? They weren't trying to be funny? Oh, then it's just sad.

As for the contestants who really might be rockstars someday, Best to Worst:

James Durbin - What?!? KK likes James Durbin?!? Hell yeah I did. I'd even download that performance, which is saying something since I really am not a "rocker". Drummers were a bit weird, as was the dominatrix wand thing. But the vocals were incredible. Incredible!

Casey - I sort of wished he would've changed up the song a little more ala-David Cook, because he absolutely could have. But I'm a Maroon 5 fan, and I'm a Casey fan. And although I was a little creeped out when he was leaning into JLo, the kiss made me squeal with delight.

Haley - I think she looked absolutely gorgeous, for starters. And she did Adele justice with Rolling In The Deep, for sure. It *is* her niche, and she's found it, and she's good at it. I was annoyed that Randy had to struggle so hard to compliment her, but I'm glad she finally got the praise she deserved.

Scotty - Barely. After the clip of the contestants making fun of the microphone holding, it's ALL I could focus on. Frankly, it annoyed the hell out of me. As did the eyebrow waggle and side-mouth-singing. Swinging was boring. Dare I say "karoke". 'Course, he's not going anywhere.

Lauren Alana - Has really wised up with her song choices and her personality make over. Last week she pandered to St. Pia's and tweens with the Miley ballad, this week she tried to swing the massive country audience back her way. Even though it wasn't the best performance of hers, she's *competing* brilliantly.

Stefano - You're kidding, right? First the clip about him being a flirt and a ladies man had me in hysterics. And watching him strut around the stage like he was in some seedy club strip club trying to get the ladies to shove $1 into his too-tight pants, just put me over the top. I like Closer, it's a sexy song. Stefano was the opposite of sexy tonight bordering on crazy-town.

Jacob - Realized he might be slipping and pulled out the Dead-Father card. Well played. I loved that he screwed up, I loved that he got a bit of negative criticism. Those were the only non-boring parts of the performance.

Botton 3 will be: Haley, Casey, Stefano

Who *should* go home: Jacob (but he won't, because his dad is dead.)

Also, my boyfriend David Cook is coming back tonight and I could not BE more excited. He's the 1st Idol I truly loved. Swoon.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Opinion Deficit Disorder

I'm eager to see what KK has to say about tonight's show because I have no strong opinions about any of the performances tonight (the performers are another matter...I'm down but not out). Maybe it is because the songs were from the 21st century and I quit listening to popular music in 1982. I don't know these songs and I had a hard time deciding if the performances were good or bad...but I did see some ugly.

First they bring out the retreads to sing a song about not being losers when everyone knows they all are. America voted NOT to see these people again, even the precious St. PiA. I am thoroughly sick of her and her fans. Please make her go AWAY! Not likely, as it seems she has hired a publicist to make sure she gets more press than Kate Middleton. Her latest press release is that she plans to develop a clothing and fragrance line bearing her name. Because you know, she finished NINTH on a show which has produced barely three household names in the past 10 years. Don't you know that Posh Spice, Victoria Beckham is quaking in her Jimmy Choos at the prospect of competition from PiA. I'm thinking she may be one of those people who is really sweet to the people she wants to impress and really mean to those she considers beneath herself...in other words, a Queen B... and that Haley knew what she was doing when she *smirked* at her demise. And of course, they highlighted her 3 second *duet* with Paul in the number which sounded like nails on a chalkboard. I will let you all decide who had the nails and who had the chalkboard but a duo make in heaven it was NOT.

Oh..sorry...are there other people on American Idol this year besides St. PiA? Well yes, as a matter of fact, a few mortals remain to gain America's votes.

My poor sweet Scotty. The knives are out for him. The word is out that he is getting two votes to his nearest competitor's one and leaving the rest in the dust. They give him the death spot for the 2nd time and the judges and Jimmy tell the audience to quit thinking about him because it should be tired of him. To his credit, he did try to change it up, picked a song done by a woman and toned down the country, but it was a lightweight song. Which the J's inform me was first done in 1980 by someone named John Anderson and remade by Leeann Rimes in the 2000s. Bad decision on his part. He needed a tearjerker tonight to overcome the death spot and the judge's and Jimmy's instructions to write him off. iTo show I am in a equally dissatisfied mood with all the contestants, I will say Scotty can tone down the eyebrow raising about 1/3.

My other sweetheart, James probably had the best performance of the night. The drums were a bit over the top but I'm pretty sure Adam Lambert wishes he had thought of that. But tonight was not my favorite performance of his and for the first time I didn't smile when he sang.

Haley sings Adele and well I thought. Randy has to practically pull it out of himself to compliment her. That said, I think if Haley had ever had a real broken heart, she would have done a better job. I didn't get a lot of anger or pain from her. I have no idea what the original sounds like, so maybe she did an excellent job. It did seem like a hard song to sing.

Well, I wanted emotion and out comes Jacob Lusk singing Luther. Luther is dead. And it is his birthday today (Jacob didn't know that of course when he picked the song). Luther's dad is dead. So is Jacob's dad. To Jacob's surprise, the judges did not give him a standing ovation. Even though his father is dead. Jacob had a hic at the beginning of the song and blames a technical failure because he is too professional to be emotional and start to cry (or have to wipe his eyes 2 bars later). JLo, bless her heart, shows no mercy and tells him in a much nicer way than I am going to put it...no...your skank just stank all the way through. Jacob is not discouraged and reminds the voters one more time that his dad is dead. I'm losing it at this point. Sadly, a look at Dialidol.com indicates that Jacob is coming in right after Scotty as the night's favorite. Are people really that gullible?

So out comes this weeks flavor, Casey. He plays his guitar and makes some faces and I suppose does an OK performance which he ends by getting in JLo's personal space and kissing her on the cheek. Oh that Casey! He is just a surprise a minute. Genius! No idea what Steven said as it is all bleeped but I suspect it had to do with women wanting to bed down Casey and men being jealous about it. Now, I am married to a portly red-headed man who used to have a red beard ( I wish he still did) and I suppose Casey should have some appeal to me. But I just keep thinking about his colon problems.

Oh Stefano...such a ladies man. I thought this performance was just weird and the chorus kept singing *I can't stop* and I was thinking *PLEASE STOP*. His bowlegged stud dance was just too much for me to handle and if I watch it back I will probably laugh but I was just too grossed out to laugh.

Lauren has a confidence problem and they are trying to fix it by giving her the pimp spot. I am actually liking her personally better than I did at first but tonight her performance was just awful. The judges couldn't bring themselves to say so but by telling her to do more they were saying it wasn't that great. Don't put 15/16 year olds on Idol.

Maybe I should have taken a nap today as I am particularly cranky toight.

Bottom 3 on the basis of performances should be: Lauren (safe), Jacob (safe), Stefemo (voted off). Bottom 3 will probably be Haley(safe), Casey or James (safe), Stefemo (voted off).

And as for Lauren, now that St. PiA is on my radar as the Queen B of the world, I am going to cut her some slack.

If anyone read this before I went back and edited for vulgarity, I apologize. I think Steven rubbed off on me.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Alternate career ...

... in toothpaste commercials.

Well done, America. All is right and just again.

Loved Scotty and Lauren again this week. Loved Haley and Casey even more. Didn't love the boys, but didn't expect to.

Auntee is hysterical, by the way. "How ya'll doin' tonight?" Bwahahaha! Awesome.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

How Y'all Doin' Tonight?

Just fine, Paul.... Sort of a bad night for you though. So, one of the weakest links is gone and the curse of the women contestants has been broken, despite the judges obvious attempt to send Haley packing last night. Paul went out like a class act, which is to his credit. The only complaint I have about tonight's show is that Jacob wasn't on the stool again.

I like when they let the contestants perform without fear of judging. Once again, Scotty and Lauren did a great job with their country duet. I thought Haley and Casey were AWESOME! Of course they are a real life couple and have some chemistry together. I loved the little scatting competition they had in the middle of the song....very entertaining. It would have been a shame if Haley went home after that as she was the star of the duo.

Nice to see Kelly Clarkson again. I guess she is going country now. I'm wondering if country is about to have another resurgence in general popularity.

I enjoyed Rihanna. I'm glad she got some hair extensions.

Not really a surprising show...I think hardcore Idol fans can use a break after last weeks drama over St. PiA. I got some distinct satisfaction seeing Haley and Stefano and Casey safe, as they were the primary targets of the St. PiA's fan's vengeance. I bet St. Pia's cousin is chewing nails right now!

I don't get it ...

Sort of a confusing night for me. There was a lot of discussion about America "getting" it, and I'll lump myself in with "America" because I didn't get it.

Best to Worst:

Lauren Alaina - I sort of might start pulling for her to win this thing (Auntee just died.) She sang the climb much better than Miley (which, I agree, isn't saying much), and she's getting SMART. She's pandering to the teens, she sung a ballad to pander to St. Pia's fans, she's even toned down the crazy judge-dancing, Ryan-flirting act and adopted (at least for now) a more mellow, grown-up personality. And she looked really pretty.

Haley - I like Blondie, I like Haley. I honestly don't understand how all three judges gave negative critiques of this. I thought she looked gorgeous (although I was a little worried the camera might show an up-the-dress shot on accident), and she sang/screamed "Call Me" just as well as she sang/screamed "Bennie" and "Come On".

Scotty - He didn't do anything new with the super well-known George Straight song, and it was totally predictable (I typed "predictable", but meant "boring"). I totally didn't get all of this "getting back to his roots" talk because he's sung country every. single. week. Hell, he found a country song during Elton John week! But, again, I was confused last night.

Casey, I guess - I totally didn't get this. I love jazz. I regularly frequented jazz bars when I lived in a city that had them. I love that Casey is an artist, and I really do think he's amazingly talented, but I didn't get Nature Boy and kept thinking of In The Air Tonight like Jimmy suggested. That said, I love his make-over. His hair and beard are shaping up nicely.

Stefano - I have to comment on his clothes because they're getting ridiculous. 1st it was the suit with the tennis shoes, now it's the too-small polo, too-small jeans, and tennis shoes. He could've done Boys 2 Men a real solid and wore a tie and sweater like they do. The. choppiest. version. of. End. Of. The. Road. ever. done. He might not have taken a breath between every word, but. it. seemed. like. it.

James Durbin - I don't get it. Admittedly, I don't like Heavy Metal. I can appreciate a good guitar solo, and am quite good at Guitar Hero, but that's as far as I go. I do like James, though, as a person. And I'd like to see him beat out most of the other contestants for that reason alone.

Paul - Last week I wanted Iggy Pop to flail into a wall or fall off the stage, this week I wanted Paul to flail into a wall or off the stage. The suit thing is getting trite, too. Honestly, I don't even think he's good looking anymore (except he does have the whitest smile ever made.) I've seen Old Time Rock and Roll done better by the drunk at the karaoke bar.

Jacob - The choir was good. And Jimmy reminded America that Jacob was a douche last week. So, that was fun.

Bottom 3 should be: Paul, Jacob, Stefano

Bottom 3 will be: Paul, Haley, Jacob

Random tangent: I believe that the judges are responsible for Pia's departure. And not because they "wasted" the save on Casey. But because they don't ever give negative critiques. Everybody gets the same glowing commentary every week. And without any subliminal guidance, America votes blindly.

What would Simon have said about Paul's flailing? We need a Simon to remind us that they are NOT, in fact, all good all of the time.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I've Gotta Be ME...

unless I'm Rod Stewart, or Miley Cyrus, or Debbie Harry, or Paul Simon's worst nightmare. The contestants were surprisingly rebellious this week against Jimmy Iovine and his cohort (is it Will I. AM?) in choosing what they were going to sing from the movies. Perhaps they were just a little miffed when they learned that 9th place PiA (hereinafter referred to as St. PiA) had already been offered a record deal by Iovine and was rushing to record her songs (at least a single) to be released before the season ends, thereby stealing the thunder of the contestants America actually voted for. In prior years, the winner's single and album is usually released first.

But, as I have been learning from reading the official AI forums this week, St. PiA is an exception to every rule. She is going to win a grammy next year (at least one), Streisand is livid to be upstaged by the greatest voice since...well recording history. Mariah is in full on post-partum or pre-partum depression. Whitney's NA sponsor hasn't left her side, and after St. PiA's version of River Deep Mountain High, Tina Turner won't leave the house, she is so ashamed. Obama was even considering a statue that will mandate that instead of pledging allegiance to the flag (in those few schools who still do so) school children will be pledging allegiance to PiA. He has reconsidered and instead has asked St. PiA to record a song about HIM....something along the lines of *To Obama with love, St. PiA*. St. PiA responded that a better song might be *My Obama Will Go On* since she didn't get an opportunity to sing *My Heart Will Go On* tonight and really shove Celine's face in the dirt.

So maybe some of the contestants thought...hey...I WILL do it my way since the prize for the winner has already been awarded to St. PiA, so might as well take charge of my destiny here. Some of them did not, and in my opinion, their performances suffered for it.

So to assess the situation post- St. PiA here we go.

Paul comes out in yet another flowered suit (does he know it makes him look like a complete dork?) and jumps around while growling a Bob Seeger song (one of my favorites) with Rod Stewart's phrasing. I thought the sax player was the only redeeming part of this fiasco but the judges ate it up. I don't get the Paul love.

I do get the Lauren love, even if I don't approve of it, and she was smart to Kristy Lee Cook it tonight by singing a song the teens will love and then relating it to her own personal *climb* of 4 months. She was pandering for St. PiA's votes via her pimp Iovine (even if she won't admit it) and it will probably work. I didn't get Jennifer's comment about the *tear* in Lauren's voice. I will grant that she sang the song better than Miley Cyrus but that is not saying a heck of a lot as far as I'm concerned.

Stefemo has had a bad week. First of all, he is viewed by many as the agent of St. PiA's martyrdom at the hands of the rabble who threw her to the lions (or at least to a nice little recording deal with Iovine). Reports are he was getting hate mail of the worst kind. The demand that he quit the contest so St. PiA can come back was one of the kindest things thrown at him by St. PiA's outraged acolytes. I've got to say, I was proud of him tonight. I don't like his melismatic Pukealetta style but he did do the best performance I have ever seen him do and I have to admit he moved me an inch or two.

Oh...Scotty! What a kick! He calls Iovine *dude*. I'd like to think that is his way of subtley saying: *Look...you gave the prize away already so don't expect me to kiss your ass anymore and if you don't sign me someone else will.* I love *Everybody's Talking At Me* but you know, I think Scotty was right to stick to George Strait. Midnight Cowboy was a great movie, the song is a great song, and Glen Campbell is wonderful, but I'm not sure that Scotty's audience even KNOWS that song and certainly doesn't know that the movie was about a male prostitute and a consumptive homeless man (and they wouldn't care if they did). Maybe someone gave Scotty the heads up on the movie and he realized the backround of that song was just too morose and dark for his personality. Good job for Scotty but not a showstopper.

Casey basically pokes a finger in Iovine's eye and says *I'm doing Nature Boy, so shut up*. I love Nat King Cole. I think I would have loved the performance if I didn't have to watch the stupid faces Casey made while singing it. So at the end I was left completely conflicted. The judges loved it but they probably didn't see the close ups of Caseys face that the TV audience did. I suspect if I heard it without having to look at Casey, I would be impressed.

Well no love for Haley tonite from ANYBODY, including Iovine who phoned in his mentoring session and didn't tell her the song wasn't a good choice. She said she had a hard time choosing a song, which meant she didn't love the song she chose and it showed in her performance. She is getting the brunt of the St. PiA backlash, because when St. PiA's elimination was announced, Haley was looking around the audience and sort of half smiling instead of prostating herself in sorrow. So Randy hates her again and JLo and Steven agree with him. Haley is now cast as Camilla Parker-Bowles to St. PiA's Princess Diana. She is the *other woman* who stole the prize away from the beloved one (or at least was left standing for awhile longer). In addition, she and Casey are a couple (I thought what she was doing in the elimination was trying to get Casey's attention), which further ticks off St. PiA's worshippers because the save was *wasted* on Casey. According to one very verbose an illiterate poster on the forum, St. PiA's cousin hates Haley. Just thought I would share that with you.

Jacob, at this point, does not know whether to poop or go blind which pretty much describes the faces he makes when he sings). Iovine lectured him for his preaching at the audience (good the more people who are reminded of that the better). Chastened, he accepts Bridge Over Troubled Water like a whipped dog, even though it is only slightly less corny than *To Dream the Impossible Dream* or *I'll Never Walk Alone*. And I thought he butchered the song and my ears hurt on those last three notes that the judges found so amazing.

Oh...I just heart James. Do you know that he sends drawings in his replies to fan letters? Several of his fans have posted pictures of the letters and drawings he has sent back to them. He also defied Iovine and good for him. Metal is NOT my thing at all. I'm to the point where he can do whatever he wants and I'll enjoy it. He just seems like a happy guy!

So...who will be in bottom three? I think Paul and Jacob should be. I think Haley has a good chance of being on the stools and perhaps Casey because people didn't get what he was up to. Paul seems to have a lot of fans though. I hope Stefemo is not in the bottom three after he gave so much of himself tonight. I don't want him to win the thing, but he deserves to get an early safe call for what he endured in the past week AND for a great performance, even if it was Stefemo style.

Am interested to see KK's thoughts on the night. I do agree that at least we are getting a broad range of styles from the contestants and that the show is much more entertaining as a result. Also, I think that they had a bigger song selection (or were more pushy about getting new songs cleared) than in the past for this theme week. I really think I might have lost it if Paul did *Footloose*.

Friday, April 8, 2011

More Sober Reflection on Shocking Results

I'm so glad that KK mentioned the terrible entertainment last night. In the shock of seeing Jacob stay and Pia go, I forgot all about how horrible Constantine and Iggy Pop were. Iggy might not have a pot belly but 60 year old skin SAGS and should be covered up. I don't even know if I liked what he sang because all I could think of was how ridiculous a 60 year old man with saggy skin looked going shirtless. And I'm glad she pointed out how poor Stefemo was made to look the villian because he got more votes. This is the second time he was on the chopping block and the judges acted like he should have gone instead of the one who was voted off. I'm starting to root for him a bit.

Couple of Auntee theories as to why PiA got sent home. First, the judges have not been very critical of any of the contestants and so haven't *steered* the audience toward their favorite as Simon always did. I'm not sure this is a bad thing. Simon was not always right in my opinion. Second, I know everyone says its a singing competition but it is also an entertainment competition and Pia was just too type A to relax and have fun. The judges kept telling her to let go but she just could not. Steven commented after the results, that America needs to see passion but then realized he was being critical and backed away from it. Steven has stated he just cannot be too hard on these contestants because he has three daughters and does not want to crush their dreams. Maybe, however, had the judges been a LITTLE harder on Pia in the beginning (although Randy and Jennifer tried to tell her to get some passion) she would have let go and America would have loved her more.

I never thought she would win the whole thing but I do feel bad that she left before others I consider vastly inferior...like Lauren, Paul, Jacob, and Stefemo.

Oh well...life goes on.

Poor Stefano

I don't know which is worse - the fact that Pia got voted off before Paul, Jacob, Stefano or Lauren. Or, the fact that the judges made it VERY clear that they wished Stefano was going home.

I felt a little sorry for Stefano. They were clearly saying "you suck compared to her, you should be the one leaving"

But I also feel VERY sorry for Pia. It was wrong. And I'm betting the judges wish they would've saved the save for her.

All in all it was a really BAD night:

Constantine Something-or-rather butchered Unchained Melody.

Iggy Pop's scary, shirtless body flailed around the stage for what seemed like forever. I kept waiting for him to fall, or slam into a wall.

Jacob's stylist doesn't understand that overweigh people must NOT wear jeans that are too tight for them because of the muffin-top effect.

And my husband's girlfriend FINALLY wore a top where her boobs looked insane, and she gets voted off.

Thursday, April 7, 2011


Mama Mia...we lost PiA! And kept that fat arrogant pile of drama queen Jacob. I very seldom yell at the TV. However, tonight, I suspect that drivers on Huntington could hear the boos coming from my front room as they sent Jacob to the couch. But the worst was yet to come.

How in the hell did it happen that Pia got less votes than weasel Paul, fat Jacob, and Stefemo...not to mention Lauren Alaina!

Well, I didn't vote for her. Maybe her lack of passion did her in. Or maybe something went haywire with the phone lines (I am convinced there is a plot to keep verizon calls from going through very often as the times I have tried to vote this year, I get busy signals all the time. That has never happened at this stage of the competition, even when I was voting for favorites like David Cook and Crystal.)

And..to top it all off...since I am banned from the boards because some asshat Jacob fan called me an idiot and I suggested the fan look in their own darn mirror (which I thought was a pretty restrained comeback)...I cannot even comment.

Well, the sun will come up tomorrow I suspect.

Chris Medina's love story is NOT going to waste

Even though AI can't milk the story of Chris Medina's disabled wife, he can do it himself.


Tim Halperin's version of When A Man Loves A Woman puts Stefano's to shame:


I hope the tour does well, and that they raise lots of money for Juliana's care.

Creepy Wax Steven Tyler

I've been told I sound grumpy when I post (could it be the 4 hours of sleep at night?), but today is going to be a good day. Why? Because for the 1st time in YEARS of watching AI, I can honestly say that I really do enjoy ALL of the contestants. Last night was just a great show all around, and it's been fun to watch.

That said, somebody has to go. Worst to Best:

Jacob - I'm glad he changed songs because can you IMAGINE what those weird hip-thrusts would've looked like had he been singing Let's Get It On?!? Kris Allen killed Man In The Mirror, and I'll always compare it. It's a low-key song, and Jacob is ANYTHING BUT low key. If for no other reason, he needs to go home for his "if I'm in the bottom three, it's because America is afraid to look in the mirror" comment. WTF?

Paul - I still think he's hot, and quirky. And he might just be a little crazy, just like Johnny Cash was. But he's no Johnny Cash (who is probably rolling over in his grave right now.) For shame.

Stefano - I like his voice and he seems like a genuinely nice guy, but I can NOT get past the Pukaletta curse - Open Your Eyes, Kid!!! The judges said they felt emotion in his performance, but I felt the exact opposite. I actually wondered if he's ever loved a woman, because he was having trouble conveying it if he has.

Lauren - I get that the Jersey Shore poof is "in", but COME ON. Not cute. Natural Woman had some really good notes, but they couldn't make me forget about the 1st 1/2 of the song, which was just ... not good.

Scotty - I still love me some Scotty. But it felt karaoke to me. It felt like a little kid imitating his favorite singer.

Casey - I don't know why everybody is so down on the Growl, because I like it. I think he should Growl an entire song, it'd be awesome. I think the main reason why Casey is fantastic is because, like the judges said, he's a MUSICIAN. And even when he doesn't win AI (because he won't), I hope he goes on to have a career doing what he loves.

Pia - So, you sang up tempo ... give the girl a medal. Was it the earth shattering performance that the judges made it out to be? No. (I was really hoping to see a little more of the Tiny-Turner-Crazy in there - PIA is too straight to pull off that song.) Is she still REALLY. FRICKIN'. GOOD? Absolutely.

James Durbin - If you've been following me, you know I think he's overrated. But tonight's performance was nothing less than AMAZING. It's become a bit of a cliche, but I really did get goose bumps. I didn't even mind the ONE, controlled, scream at the end.

Haley - I've said it before, but my parents were hippies. So, I grew up listening to Janis Joplin and Piece of My Heart is the quintessential Joplin song, in my mind. Haley killed it, which is hard to do. I loved it.

Please, Please can Jacob go home?

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

One Trick Ponies Stand on Their Heads and Other Highlights

As far as I am concerned, they can do the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame theme every week except for the week they do the Rat Pack or 40's -50's theme. I didn't need closed caption tonight because I knew all the songs. All of the contestants chose good songs. That is not to say that all of the contestants sang those good songs well. A few of the *one trick ponies* pulled out new tricks tonight. In the spirit of shaking things up, I am going to comment on the performances from worst to best.

Last place finish in the pony race goes to Jacob. He was going to do *Lets Get It On* but realized his morals prevented him from doing a song about getting it on. So, he chose one of Michael Jackson's save the world songs, The Man in The Mirror. He reminded us, before he sang, that if we didn't like his performance or if he was in the bottom three (I guess it didn't occur to him he might go home), it was not his fault. No...it is OUR fault because we don't want to look in the mirror. There are reasons I do not want to look in the mirror, Jacob, but they have nothing to do with you or your singing and even less to do with starving children. And, you are hardly the poster child for starvation so I don't want to look at you much either. It was a boring performance highlighted somewhat strangely by Jacob simulating *getting it on* with his backround singer. Those hip thrusts were just ....odd. Sadly, the backround singer who was forced to simulate getting it on with Jacob was, in fact, the songwriter, if I understood Steven correctly. Sad indeed.

Eighth place goes to Paul. I have about had it with him. I suppose he thought that doing Johnny Cash was, for him, like a pony doing handstands, but it was just ridiculous. I started laughing half way through. I'm sorry, but singing really fast and really loud does not help when you are singing a song that requires a certain amount of depth to the voice which Paul's voice does not have. He looked like a monkey on crack. The guitar work (which he had lots of help with) was the only thing that made it remotely entertaining, and I mean remotely.

Casey comes in at number 7 singing Have You Ever Seen the Rain, which is a favorite of mine. He has a bass fiddle that he plays. This makes him a great musician. I thought his voice was thin and that he looked more scared than anything as he sang. Randy's reaction was over the top on this one. Maybe Casey deserved to be saved but, in my mind, this was a so/so performance of a really good song and it left me cold. The only trick here was that he only growled for half of the song.

Coming in at number six is our unnatural not woman Lauren. Christina Aguilera did her no favors on the styling, as her hair made her face look fatter and her dress made her butt look fatter. But I like fat girls (and she is not really fat at all), I just don't like her. It was OK, but not up to Crystal Bowersox and definitely not even 20% of Aretha or Carole King. No new tricks from Lauren but she has a huge fan base who have already enshrined her Candle in the Wind performance in their own little hall of fame (she is the new Princess Diana in her fans minds) so she will survive.

Stefemo didn't really do a new trick and perhaps I am giving him the number 5 slot, instead of a lower one, because he sang one of my all time favorite songs ever made. He does have a good voice but I wish he would stop closing his eyes and reminding me of Pukaletta. (For new readers...Pukaletta is David Archuletta).

PiA takes 4th place. Lots of hype for her tonight, because she is going to try to stand on her head and sing an up tempo song instead of a ballad. She sang it well, but I'm sorry...singing an up tempo song is not equivalent to curing cancer...no matter what the judges think.

Scotty does do a new trick and comes in 3rd. Singing Elvis was a little predictable as we have been told he loved to impersonate Elvis as a kid. I thought he might do one of Elvis's more country or slower songs. I missed some of his performance as Mr. Auntee chose that moment to interupt me and tell me about one of our cats litter box defilement. But, Scotty did rock it more than countrify it and so he gets some credit for standing on his head tonight. And he does know how to work the stage and the audience.

In a photo finish, James Durbin comes in 2nd. He may just be winning my heart. Its Rock and Roll week and James stands on his head and slows it down to, of all people, George Harrison! I think that song means something more to him than he revealed tonight but I don't really need to know what it is. I hope he stays around for a long time and if he wins this thing...I will not be unhappy.

Haley crosses the finish line first. As much as I love Me and Bobby McGee, Piece of My Heart is, to me the quintessential Joplin song. She sang it flawlessly and added a few Haley twists. My only criticism is that she is not Janis Joplin. She could have shown a little more pain but then, she is not Janis Joplin. Perhaps if Haley was strung out on heroin and had been laid and dumped by 100 or more guys, she could have brought the pain to the song that Janis did. I'm thinking I prefer less pain for her. Although she did not stand on her head tonight, she is the only contestant who has done a variety of songs from the beginning and didn't have to show me a new trick.

I have no idea how the voting will go. I tried to vote for James, Haley, and Scotty tonight and only got through a few times. In Auntee's world, the bottom three would be Paul, Jacob, and Casey with Paul going home.