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Thursday, May 26, 2011

Surprise Finale! Oh, wait, nevermind ...

Those of you who have NOT known Scotty was going to win all season long have either (1) been living under a rock, or (2) been in serious denial.  No surprises here, but also no strong feelings from this blogger either way. 

As for the rest of the night:

Gladys Knight was breathtakingly gorgeous, and amazing to watch.  They finally found somebody who could take the focus off of Jacob's "dancing", and up-stage him no matter how many obnoxious notes he tried to hit.

Judas Priest hobbled around, Rob Halford barely made it up the stairs, and James went bonkers all around him.  James stole *that* show, even with the Village People ensemble.

Top 13 girls sang an awesome Beyonce montage, and then rocked out with Beyonce herself.  (I personally enjoyed Naiema's dancing the best, of course.)

Haley sang with Tony Bennett, who looked old and frail, but twirlled Haley around without missing a beat.  It was, of course, classic and just beautiful. 

Casey and Jack Black growled at each other while 80's fly-girls shook their "fat bottoms" in the background.  I'm still trying to decide if this was supposed to be funny, or serious. 

I had every single TLC cassette tape growing up.  Even without Lisa Left-eye Lopez, (and in spite of the obvious lip synching), they still rocked the stage. 

I, too, danced along with Marc Anthony and found myself mezmerized with JLo's shaking booty. 

Casey and James argued over whose elimination was more shocking, and Pia showed she actually might have a sense of humor in there somewhere by playing along with the boys. 

Gaga was absolutely insane, as always.  She threw herself off of a cliff, ladies and gentleman.  Nigel couldn't top that in a million years. 

Top 13 guys did a weird Tom Jones montage, and weird (orange) Tom Jones capped it off with more weirdness. 

And Steven Tyler reminds all of America that no matter how insane his judging appears to be, he is a rock and roll God, and is incredible. 

Then Scotty won.

He opted to hug his family instead of sing his stupid single.  And if for no other reason than that, he deserves his Idol title.  Congrats, young man. 

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Derelict Blogger Chimes In

Shame on me...I didn't watch either episode this week.  Call it sour grapes, call it being in Nantucket world, or just call  it that I really really dislike Lauren Alaina and could not stand to see her sing one more song even if it meant missing David Cook last night and probably some nice performances by the other losers tonight.  Because...I hate to say it...I'm glad Lauren is a Loser!  I've tried to like her...I really have...but I just think she is an ordinary singer and pretty  full of herself and was coddled into the finale at the expense of about everyone else in the top 13, including Mandiva, Jacob. 

So, I see on Drudge that Scotty won and a source is saying he got nearly twice as many votes as Lauren.  Not a big surprise to me, as if Dial Idol is even remotely accurate he has been getting 50% or more votes than his nearest competitor all season.  I see that Haley got 25 million votes last week...which left the other 70 million to split between Lauren and Scotty.  I'm guessing Lauren got 25 million plus whatever she needed to beat Haley and Scotty got the rest of the final three votes. 

It will be somewhat interesting to see what happens to both of these young people post Idol.

Reading KK's review, I'm really glad I didn't have to watch Steven creepily fawn over Lauren.  That whole thing was just weird from the get go which probably accounts for some of my irrational (I admit it is TOTALLY irrational) aversion to Lauren.

Now its time for So You Think You Can Dance.

Thanks for reading us this season...hope to be back next year!     

 

And DAVID COOK was there!!!

Best to Worst:

David Cook!!  We'll never forget about you, because you're amazing.  (And, as a child of the John Hughes generation, I wholeheartedly believe you can never go wrong with an 80's ballad-revamped.)

Lauren's Doctor!!  Dressed up for the occassion in scrubs, and spoke in very technical terms "pulled a vocal chord".  Fantastic performance!



Were there other performances?  I must've slept through them.

Totally predictable.  I could've written the entire show myself:  Scotty deferrs on the coin flip, Lauren wears a Toddlers & Tiaras dress, Scotty dances through the audience and teen girls squeal, Lauren's stage parents get way too much camera time, Randy says "in it to win it", Steven Tyler creeply fawns all over Lauren.

Scotty's 1st two songs were "Gone" and "Check Yes Or No".  He sang fine, did the obligatory eyebrow waggles, danced around a little, and the judges ate it up.

Lauren's 1st two songs were "Flat On The Floor" and "Maybe It Was Memphis".  She sang fine (I couldn't hear anything different with her voice at all), did the obligatory booty shake, danced around a little, and the judges ate it up.  (Especially Steven Tyler who finally admits he wants her to win because she's "pretty" - thanks for that, Steven.)

Now I actually liked the final songs for both Scotty and Lauren.  I wouldn't download them off iTunes or anything, but they were decent.

Scotty's "Love You This Big" had lyrics all about being young and inexperienced.  He wore a cute little suit.  I like the slower side of Scotty - less cheese and more singing.  He actually has a wonderful country voice.  And he will absolutely have an amazing country career, win or lose. 

Lauren's "Like My Mother Does" was the song that JLo thinks will launch her to the win.  I'm a Mom.  I also have a wonderful Mom who I hope to be like when I grow up because she's so amazing.  So, I really should've choked up a bit watching Lauren serenade her mother (Mr. KK did.  And he'll be pissed that I wrote that.)  But I didn't choke up, even though it was a nice song and Lauren will do well with it as her 1st single. 

(Side note:  You may be disappointed to learn that the "best" song of the night was not actually an "original" song just for Lauren.  It's been recycled over and over, and even recorded by the other mediocre, Jesus loving, patriotic, country teenager on AI:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FbYFJFoDoQ)

Who wins?  I call it for Scotty.  Mostly because he'll make more money for AI.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Judgment Day - Eve

The only way I'm going to like watching next week's finale is if The Rapture takes the good-Christians Scotty and Lauren away and leaves the heathens Haley and Casey (and Steven Tyler) to perform. 

Otherwise, we're going to have one boring country showdown. 

I understand that the country music industry is huge.  As is, clearly, the country AI fanbase.  Carrie Underwood is a prime example of how AI + country music = super-stardom.  And I've said from the beginning that Scotty will have a great country career even if he doesn't win.  Given what we've seen about Lauren's parents (who clearly know how to brand their daughter and pimp her out), I bet Lauren will have a bit of a country career as well. 

But some of those 95 million votes were for Haley.  Those voters, I'll wager, are either lukewarm on country like me, or 100% anti-country like I'm assuming most of James' fanbase is.  I'm wondering if AI producers fudged up a little by (obviously) pushing this country/country finale (from day 1), and potentially alienating a good portion (me, Tee, and Mr. KK) of the fans who would usually tune in and vote.   

Haley went out rockin' it, for sure.  And with class - thanking the judges, saying she had a blast (did you take notes Jacob?)  I've been singing Bennie and the Jets all day, because she is just THAT good.

In the meantime, let's hope The Rapture saves us from next week's ho-hum finale.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

YEEE HAAAAW!

If I can survive the election of Obama I can certainly survive the elimination of Haley Reinhart. 

But it still sucks. 

I really thought Haley could pull it out over Country Barbie.  But that last song sunk any chance she had.   Of course, Scotty is never going home. No surprise there and I love Scotty.  What is not to love?  In hard times, America wants macaroni and cheese and not fois gras.  Haley and James, gave them fois gras and they couldn't digest it. 

Mrs. Suddeth (oh..you didn't know that Lauren's last name is Suddeth and not Alaina?...I guess Nigel thought Suddeth sounded too clunky or maybe she's had this stage name since her stage mom gave birth) as an experienced Toddlers and Tiara's contestant mom (or wanna be) has to be congratulated.  Dangle your child in front of Steven Tyler by telling him his song is *your parents song*, have her do a cute little lap dance in Hollywood for Steven,  and then when its clear that Scotty is the one to beat...switch your kid from singing pop to country.  Next step:  *Living with the Alainas*.  A new reality series on TLC, Bravo, MTV or a the lesser cable channel called  OWN.   Mama Suddeth gets liposuction, a tummy tuck and boob job on Lauren's Idol earnings (hey it worked for Kate Gosselin) .  Mama Suddeth starts  hanging out with Dina Lohan. Lauren in rehab in 2 years.  But I'm not bitter.  Much.

Actually, Haley went a lot further than I thought she would.  

Just warning you all, I may not blog the performance next week because I am not sure I can stand to watch 2 hours of country music when half of it is sung by Lauren.  Except maybe David Cook is going to appear.  I can always catch his performance on Youtube. 
 


In it to win it, beautiful, gooseys

At this point in the game, I assume the judges have given up on actual commentary and just moved on to repeat-mode?

Going back and reading some of my earlier posts, I expressed disappointment in the contestants this year.  I couldn't find anyone to love or hate.  I didn't think I'd even enjoy the show. 

I stand corrected.  Last night was just wonderful.


In order of performance:

Scotty sings “Amazed” by Lonestar. The quintessential country wedding song. He sings it fine, it’s probably technically perfect or something. But it’s sung *just like* Lonestar sang it. I’d really, really like to see Scotty show a little creativity or artistic control. But it’s a little late for that, I guess.  And why should he, the judges (and America) are all over him just the way he is.

Lauren sings “Wild One” because she totally gets that America wants her to be country music’s next Carrie Underwood/Kelly Pickler. Her white go-go boots and ridiculous earrings are interesting (read: ugly), which I guess is good because her performance wasn’t anything special. Unless, of course, you’re pervy Stephen Tyler.

 
Haley’s Zeppelin song was just insane. That, dancing-monkey-tweens, is an actual PERFORMANCE. And maybe it’s because my own baby girl has an extra-special bond with her Daddy, but I got a little choked up watching Haley fawn all over her father.


Jimmy Iovine should have been in charge of picking all the songs all season. It would’ve been a much better show all around. And the man can wear baseball hats and t-shirts all he wants, Ryan Seacrest, because he’s a genius.


“Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not” was tailor made for Scotty. Never heard it before, pretty sure the original version isn’t as good as Scotty’s. If I were a 17 year old girl, I’d be in love with Scotty. The guitar was a nice change from the obnoxious flute-microphone. And Paula Abdul … I mean, JLo … was right about Scotty’s hair. Apparently, the judges have run out of phrases praising Scotty, so that’s what they went with.

 
Jimmy picked another teenager-ish song for Lauren, after waiting all season to have her sing “If I Die Young”, apparently. Honestly, all I remember about the performance is (1) thinking “these girls wear pantyhose every time?”, (2) the music not starting when Lauren thought it should, and (3) her missing her key change (I swear I heard an “oops” in there, but I’d had some wine, so I could be imagining that.) The judges, not wanting to send Lauren into another tail-spin of self-doubt, praised her for missing her key change, and blamed her emotions (?). Whatever.

 
Solidifying his weird obsession with Stevie Nicks, Jimmy picks “Rhiannon” for his clear favorite, Haley. I still have Didi Benami’s version of this song on a CD in my car, and I play it all the time, because it was amazing. Haley showed some of her own creativity and artistic control (take notes, Bobsey Twins) by changing it up a little. I have to admit that I, too, was distracted by the wind-machine. How can she sing with that thing blowing in her face like that?



The judges Googled “deep country voice”, “17 year old country girl”, and “screaming, growly song”, and that’s how they picked their songs. Or maybe they had a monkey do it for them?



Have I mentioned that I'm not a country fan (once or twice?). Apparently, I should know “She Believes In Me” because, apparently, Kenny Rogers is classic-country. But I’ve never heard it. There was a lot of talk about “hitting a big chorus” or something. Frankly, it sounded like every other song and ever other chorus Scotty has ever sung.

I’m pretty sure that *I* could sing “I Hope You Dance”. Continuing on with the “handle Lauren with gentle gloves” theme, the judges punted this one. Lauren donned her ugly prom dress, and put her hair down – 100% Toddlers and Tiaras. The judges, however, loved it. Stephen wants to sleep with her, it gave JLo “gooseys”, and I’m sure Randy said “in it to win it” or something.

After repeatedly criticizing Haley for being too “growly” and too “screamy”, the judges pick the growliest, screamiest song every written – “You Oughta Know”. I was an angsty teen in the 90’s, I dressed like Alanis Morrisette, I’m sure I screamed this song about an old boyfriend. I like the song in general, but it was, in fact, sabotage. Haley did the best she could, even remembering to change the lyrics for TV. Not my favorite performance of hers.

 
I’d like to believe that Haley earned the respect of enough fans to make it to the finale. But, I’m pretty convinced it’ll be a Lauren/Scotty showdown.





Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Dancin' and Believin' and Stalkin' (aka Lets Send Haley Home)

Well, I still love Scotty, but the kid is on his own tonight.  Haley is my new heroine.  I sent an email to some of the blog followers early in the week regarding the judge's song choice being a  set up to sabotage Haley. And I am not sure that even Led Zeppelin's personal intervention on her behalf, or Iovine's unrequited love for Stevie Nicks is going to help her overcome the contrast between psycho stalker lyrics that no one  could understand (which had to be changed because the original lyrics are not fit for prime time) that have no melody and have to be *sung* at lightning speed and the easy melody and feel good lyrics in the songs the judges chose for the Bobbsey Twins.  If you thought Haley didn't sing the verse well on *You Oughta Know* and  go watch Alanis Morisette sing it on youtube.  She doesn't do it any better than Haley did tonight.   The wrong song for the wrong night and only Haley could even attempt to pull it off.
 
I know you all doubt me when I say *I predicted that* but once I knew the songs the judges had chosen, I knew the order of performance would be contestant's song choice first, Jimmy's song choice second, and judges song choice last.  There was no way they were going to let Haley have the last word with a great performance a third week in a row.  And there was NO way she was going to make an impression with the judge's song choice compared to sunshine lollipops and rainbows. 

So..I'm going to go round by round in performance order:

Scotty goes first.  Its not the best place to be but if the Dial Idol results are even remotely accurate, the kid is getting votes at a ratio of 2 to 1 over his closest competitor and is running away with the competition.

Scotty's choice:  I do not even remember the name of the song.  My notes say I was smiling and that I was happy he went up in his range.   I still love Scotty. The judges loved it

Lauren's choice:  *She's a Wild One*.  She got to mention her best friend and the song talked about her singing at three on her daddy's knee so everyone would know she is still just a baby and Jennifer affirms that by calling her *our baby*.  It was fine.  Judges offer some advice to her but then say she was wonderful.  So..advice in and out in Lauren's 16 year old mind.

Haley's choice:  *What is and What Should Never Be*.  A Led Zeppelin hit from the late 60's.  I didn't know it because I was listening to the Monkees in the late 60s.  I am sure that disillusioned James' fans will think she is pandering for his fan's votes because she went rock.  Think again.  She has covered it before with her little home town band.  Think again once more.  According to Haley's parents, after Haley sung House of the Rising Sun, Robert Plant and the other guy from Zeppelin called Idol and offered their entire songbook to Haley to sing ONE song ONE time. The only other contestant Zeppelin cleared a song for was Adam the Great.  

Did you know Haley had parents?  I didn't.  We know all about Lauren's dogs, and Scotty's baseball team and James' sad life, but no one has ever told us who Haley is and where she came from.  Because no one ever thought she would make the top 13 let alone the top three. Come to find out her parents are musicians too, but have day jobs.  Her daddy has worked double shifts and done gigs at night to earn money for the plane tickets for them to come see her perform the few times they were able to put the money together.  I saw them speak on an internet video at the Wheeling Town Council meeting where they thanked the town for the homecoming the town gave Haley.  You would want to know them.  They sort of reminded me of the J's.  The mom is all bubbly and talkative and the dad is more reticent.     I'm glad they let him play with her.  

She nailed that song...falling down and all.  Randy and Steven give her her 4th standing O.  Jennifer sits there thinking *oh shit...she's going to be the next most beautiful woman in America and she didn't even have autotune!*  As Steven is finally saying something besides *it was beautiful* and getting ready to give Haley huge Steven compliments, Jennifer interrupts him in case he goes too far in praising Haley.    Go Haley!  (No wonder they didn't put the contestant's song choice last).

Judges give the round to Haley and so do I.

Second round..Iovine's choice

Scotty sings *Are You Gonna Kiss Me*.  I thought it was fine but I   I actually liked the first song (which I don't remember the name of) better. 

Lauren sings something about dying young and wearing pearls.  I will give her this...as she ran out of breath at the end of each phrase...it was somewhat realistic.  For once, the judges say she missed a note or two.  

I have now decided that Iovine is in love with Haley.  Rumor is that back in the day  he had an unrequited love for Stevie Nicks and he chooses Rhiannon for Haley. I wish Haley hadn't said she was worried about remembering the words because I was holding my breath the whole time she sang it. Haley sings it exactly like Jimmy tells her too and remembers the words.  Much talk about the wind machine from the judges because we cannot talk about how well Haley performed the song.

Judges say Scotty/Lauren won the round...I say Haley did. 

Third round Judge's choice.

Scotty sings *She Believes In Me*.  Very well.  I got tears in my eyes but I have a soft spot for Scotty.  

Lauren gets her text message and practically dances in glee because she knows she got the easiest and most appealing song in the world singing *I Hope You Dance*.    She looks nice in her blue dress.  She sings it ok but still runs out of breath at the end of every phrase.   She gives Jennifer goose bumps. I thought it was ho-hum.  But I never got the Lauren love.

Judges choice for Haley?  A song about a stalker whose love left her for another.  A song that the lyrics have to be changed for prime time.  A song with no melody in the verse with too many words.  A song which Alanis Morisette cannot sing well.  Lots of praise for how Haley sang the chorus.  The chorus is the only part of that song that has any melody to it!  

The judges verdict?  Only Steven is honest in choosing Haley.  The other two go for Lauren and her pageant performance of *I Hope You Dance*. 

Predictions?  Scotty is never going to go home.  Confetti next week for him.  Haley should be in the finale with him.  But I don't know if she can overcome the sugar sweet gal from Rossville, Georgia.

If Haley goes home she went home fighting.  Had three hard songs to sing this week.  Nailed them all.   

  

   
 


 

Friday, May 13, 2011

It's Bush's Fault...No...It's Haley's Fault...No...its the SMIRK!

Its a bit hard to blog nearly 24 hours after the worst evening on Idol since Kris Daughtry was eliminated, but Blogger was out of service last night.  While waiting to blog I had the pleasure (not) of reading the forum boards at americanidol.com as fans old and new wailed, wept, and rendered their Metallic t-shirts mourning Jame's elimination.  Well, let me offer my sincere condolences as I liked James too and was NOT happy to see him sent home.

Inexplicably (to me), the general consensus is that it is all Haley's fault he was eliminated.  Haley has been the object of hate on the boards since St. Pia went home because she did not wail, weep,  and render her sequined top when St. Pia was elimated.  She DISRESPECTED St. Pia.  For those of you who were unaware of this controversy, as Ryan was getting ready to announce St. Pia's elimination,  the camera flashed on Haley who was saying something to Casey and smiling...then...when St. Pia's name was called, Haley was looking away from the action and  out into the audience with a smile on her face.  A fair observer might say she was not paying any attention to Ryan but was distracted by her own happiness at being safe (the WITCH!) and something happening in the audience but...from that moment on...Haley has been hated for her *attitude*.  Talking back to the judges Wednesday night just added fuel to the Haley hate bonfire and within 5 minutes after the show ended last night at least 10 threads had been posted about the evil, heartless, no-talent Haley who knocked James out of the final three.  The language used to describe her and her fans was not fit for adult conversation and was so offensive that I actually reported one poster.  And of course the Lauren fan's jumped on the bandwagon posting messages to the Durbin fans that Haley had *smirked* when James was eliminated so *who are you going to vote for now...the evil witch or Lauren?* 

I, on the other hand, being the fair-minded person that I am, am blaming  Nigel Lythgoe, Randy Jackson and JLo who were so determined that their Little Miss Perfect, Lauren, come back from her bottom 2 last week, they trashed Haley's first performance Wednesday night, in the hopes that Lauren would get more votes than Haley.  It backfired on them big time because the rest of America who doesn't spend time reading the AI forums didn't get the word that Haley is an insufferable witch with an attitude and saw a young woman, who has been their go to punching bag all season, get punched in the gut again and fighting back for the first time.    A bunch of people who don't vote very much started voting for her and James got caught in the crossfire.  

It didn't help that for whatever reason...fatigue...loneliness...or the insipid theme he had to work with this week, James did not perform up to his usual standard (nor did he last week).   Actually, the only one who had a stand out performance on Wednesday was Haley the hated.

Needless to say, I was devastated when Lauren was called safe right away.  I'm sure they let her be first for fear she would blubber up the stage all night if she was held in suspense.  I was pretty sure that Haley was a goner then and was really happy when she was safe until I realized that it meant James was probably going home because...love him or hate him...Scotty is unstoppable.  

I am ALMOST getting KK's love of all things Gaga.  Gaga won me over when she chose to perform the song that Haley performed last week...you know...the one Randy and JLo hated?  I think Gaga was giving Randy and JLo a big fat middle finger in choosing that song and I think they deserved it.  

Not too impressed with Enrique and Jordin.

Now...for the record...according to  a reporting for Entertainment Weekly...who was in the audience and saw what the camera did not see...Haley was not smirking when James was eliminated.  She was the only one of the contestants CRYING as James' exit video was played (our resident blubber mouth was dry eyed).  

So don't blame Haley!  

PS:  Scotty is on his own next week.  I'm voting for Haley.    

  

Thursday, May 12, 2011

God Bless the USA

My dialing fingers are tired. I have voted, a lot, for the 1st time this season. Mr. KK (who has now been outed as an Idol watcher) voted until his cell phone battery died.


I did it to right an injustice.


Worst to best:


Scotty - Let me start by saying this: I'm OVER Scotty's holier than though ultra-conservative/religious schtick. Kissing the cross after meeting Gaga? Because she told you to sing straight into the microphone? To save your soul, I guess? WTF?

He pulled a stunt straight out of the Kristy Lee Cook playbook and found a song about God, September 11th, and America all in one. Plus, Bin Laden is dead, so the timing of his "Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning" was genius. Horribly exectued from a "Am I watching a 6th grade play" standpoint, but who is going to critique a song about America?

Both of Scotty's songs were boring as hell. I've never heard "Young Blood" and I hope I never hear it again. Performance wise, it was, again, totally safe. Didn't show any actual "talent", and could've been sung exactly that well by any 1/2 drunk cowboy at a line-dancing bar. Although the 1/2 drunk cowboy probably would've had better moves.


Lauren Alaina - Another brilliant competitive play: reminding America that you're from an area devestated by tornadoes. Pulled at heart-strings, mentioned God, check. But again, poor execution. And I won't even comment on the dress. Oops, I just did.

I agree with Auntee about the "I'm evil" deal, too. If you don't want to say you're evil, why'd you pick a song ENTIRELY about being evil? (Because, I see now, Sto-blah and Lieb-blah don't give many options.)

I like Lauren, but both performances tonight were Toddlers and Tiaras. Complete with ridiculous pagenty outfits, and obsurd false eyelashes.



James - *Disclaimer I had no idea Randy was in Journey. Even though they mentioned it, apparently, 87 times during the show.*

Another brilliant competitive choice. Thanks to The Sopranoes, Glee, and Rock of Ages, "Don't Stop Believin'" is well known by even the newest of cell phone wielding teeny-boppers. Again, though, I think it was boring and safe. He sang it EXACTLY like Journey.

Love Potion No. 9 is quite possibly the dumbest song ever written. Although, I'll admit to liking it when I was 5 or 6 years old. He used some pyro at the end, so I guess it seemed "rocker"?


Haley - After weeks of being lambasted while her competitors are over-praised, Haley finally stood up for herself. I normally hate it when contestants argue with the judges, but last night I wished they'd cut off J-Lo and Randy's mics, and let Haley blast *them*.

Was her "Earth Song" the best performance she's ever given? Maybe not. (Mr. KK believes that she's pandering to Jacob's fans by including the gospel choir.) Was it 100 times better than Scotty's boring ass performance? Hands down.

And "I Who Have Nothing" could not BE more appropriate for her at this point in time. Not only did she do exactly what Gaga told her to (which, incidentally, gave me chills when she did it - Gaga is brilliant), but she blew her cheesy, gyrating, eyebrow wiggling, teeny-bopper, competition straight out of the water.



If I ruled the results - Scotty or Lauren would be on their way out.

But I'm afraid it will be Haley.


Also, last night affirmed my love for all things Gaga. She's brilliant, crazy, and amazingly talented. I loved watching her interact with the contestants (especially Scotty and Lauren who were terrified of her), and as far as I'm concerned, she could permanently replace Jimmy Iovine.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Well, at Least Lieber and Stoller had a Good Night...

the Idols, me, and I daresay much of America...not so much.  If having Idols sing one hit wonders from 50 plus years or so was Nigel Lythgoe's idea, he must have been accidentally kicked in the head by one of those kids auditioning for his other show, So You Think You Can Dance.  When this theme was announced, not having heard of these guys, I went to the website to see what they had written.  Seriously, I recognized about 11 songs, and none of them, including those sung tonight, were what I would call something you would want to hear again unless you were having a party comprised of people over 50 who gathered only to make fun of the stupid songs that were popular when they were eight years old.   I could not imagine how these kids could pick 2 songs each from such a mediocre list of songs, most of which were gimmicky novelty songs of which Love Potion No. 9 is probably the best.  Obviously they could not, Gaga and Jimmy rebelled, and in the last 2 days they told the Idols  to pick an *inspirational song.*   What a way to sabotage all 4 of them on the most important night of the season.  They should have been able to pick 2 songs they loved and sing with passion and abandon.

So, Auntee is cranky.  Yes, it was a busy day and I don't like busy days much these days ( the first part was lovely at my meeting but then I had to sit in a doctors office for 2 hours) and yes, Mr. Auntee decided to make all sorts of plans which required my input and action on a very busy day which was a bit irritating, but I think a good Idol show would have brought me back to my being about as cheerful as Auntee is ever going to get.  But I am still cranky. 
So...here is my cranky take on what happened tonight.

Excuse me...I just took a break to place my cat Maxine in time out because she has Mr. Auntee disease tonight and won't leave me alone despite having the faucet running fresh water for her and 2 bowls of food.

I don't think there was a performance of the night tonight and really only 2 that came close.   So, I will go by contestant in order of appearance.

James.   Don't Stop Believing would be a perfect inspirational song for him if the Glee kids hadn't sung it to death for the past 3 or 4 years.  It also helped to suck up to Randy...but it IS a good song. He did fine but I wasn't blown away by it.  I'm not sure if its because James lacked energy singing it or if  I am just sick of hearing the song.   His second performance, LP #9 was somewhat better although he never  did get his hips to move.  My spirit was not moving on either song.  The judges loved him as usual.  Some critics say he is pitchy.  I don't know pitchy until my ears hurt and he has not reached that point with me.  So...I give  him a B tonight. 

Haley got Randy and JLo hate on her first song.  And for the first time she talked back to the judges.  Normally, I disapprove of it but this girl has been the judges punching bag from the beginning of the season.  Normally she takes it in her stride but got  a little *emo* (her words) tonight.  However, my notes as she was singing were:  *not an audience pleasing song*; *sort of a downer*; well sung*.  Of course, I never got the Michael Jackson love even before he started sleeping with little boys.  The only song of his I like is Billie Jean and only when David Cook sings it.  I think Randy was over the top criticizing her vocals and I was glad Steven  finally shut him down.  Then, she comes out with *I Who Have Nothing* (which at that point was pretty appropo) and slays the judges with it to the point of another standing ovation.  I thought it was good but not as good as House of the Rising Sun and its still a stupid song.  I give her a B plus tonight with a star for talking back to the judges. 

Scotty sings the patriotic song and it was one his fans have been asking for, so on the probably 2 days notice he had to come up with one, it was a good choice.  The chorus was either ahead or behind him which ruined the performance for me and I thought it was a little subdued, even for Scotty.  *Young Blood* is just another stupid song and he did with it what he could but I was not in love with that one either.  So, he ties with James for a B.

Now...this will surprise you because you KNOW I think Lauren is a spoiled little brat and do NOT want her to win this thing.  I thought she took the prize in  the inspirational song portion of the show and that this was her best solo performance of the season.   She has sort of milked the tornado victims to death (she is doing a charity concert for them the *going home* week whether she is in the final three or not...how clever is THAT?...her parents obviously hired a better publicist than even Pia hired).  Her *Trouble*, while praised by the judges was  I thought completely affected and I saw the Toddlers and Tiaras  contestant again.  If you don't want to sing *I'm evil*, then pick a song where those are not the only words in it.  All I could hear by the end of it was *I'm awful, I'm awful, I'm awfuuuullllll*.    Lets face it, she could have come out and farted her songs tonight and the judges would have praised her in order to avoid another *oooo....poor me...I'm in the bottom two* sobfest. I averaged her grades and gave her a B too. 

So..despite Haley's horrible song choice on the first song, she narrowly comes in with the highest grade from me.

I cannot conclude without commenting on Gaga.  One of Mr. Auntee's *let me just interrupt any peace you will have today* moments was coming in at the beginning of the show to tell me that I should skip Idol to see the Lady Gaga special (he thought he was being so cute).  I informed him I didn't need to watch her on the special because she was going to be on Idol tonight.   He retreated to the *time out* room.   I still don't get her music and I really don't like the *let me look as outrageous as I possibly can* style, but I thought she was really nice to the contestants and offered some good advice to them so now I may reconsider my opinion of her. 

And, as risque as her advice to Scotty may have been about the microphone, I have learned from reading elsewhere that she is absolutely  right.  Those microphones are designed to deliver the sound when held straight up...if they are tilted or held sideways, you lose part of the sound.

I'm not sure what will happen tomorrow.  I want Lauren to go home but I'm pretty sure it will be Haley or even possibly James.  

And FINALLY...I think there may be some  new readers out there and if  so, please feel free to register as a follower and to add your comments to our posts.  We LOVE comments, even if they do not agree with us and the more we have the more entertaining the blog will be!  

   

      

Monday, May 9, 2011

Final Jacob Jabs

Obviously I'm thrilled about the results.  Not much to say about them except: Long, LONG overdue. 

So, here's some additional fodder to entertain you for awhile.

Need a laugh?  It's Jimmy's fault:

http://www.tmz.com/2011/05/06/american-idol-jimmy-iovine-jacob-lusk-song-reject-elimination-song-chioce/?adid=featuredhp

But it's not just Jimmy.  Nothing is ever Jacob's fault:

http://www.popeater.com/2011/04/15/idol-finalist-jacob-lusk-was-arrested-the-same-week-he-auditio/

I wonder whose fault it will be when he has to go back to work at the spa instead of to the recording studio?  America's, I presume.

P.S.  Isn't Mr. KK funny?  You all should really have the pleasure of watching AI with him, because it's a riot.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Jacob, Your Mirror Just Broke

I have seen four and three-fourths seasons of Idol exits and I can honestly say that Jacob Lusk exited the Idol stage with the least amount of class of any one in the top tier. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to see the last of him (except for the finale, unfortunately but I do have a mute button). It took sixty million votes to get rid of him but at last he is gone.


This man cannot even fake humility. I really believe when he looks into the mirror he sees divinity...or at least divanity. When asked what he will remember about his Idol experience the man who had just been voted off says: *I think America has fallen in love with me*. This follows such modest gems as *If I'm in the bottom three, America needs to look in the mirror* and *I'm sharing my gift with America*.


So, he is singing his swan song and I'm thinking...well that isn't bad...and I'm starting to like his singing...and the other Idols are looking on and you can see they think he is doing a great job and admiring his talent. And then he WON'T STOP! He does about 30 seconds of his riffs and won't acknowledge his peers who are trying to support him in his darkest hour because...and I truly believe this...Jacob thinks that he is so great that Idol may just go over time so America, who has fallen in love with him, can hear more of his wonderfulness. I now know why they had the hook in vaudeville. What a total ass!


I am thrilled Mr. KK was a guest blogger this week! I'm also thrilled that Jimmy Iovine agreed with me about the quality of this week's performances! Although, I will admit I was probably blinded by Idol glasses in praising James so much. Even his staunchest fans felt he fell short this week. And I do know who Jordin Sparks is, Mr. KK. I just didn't know she ever had a hit song (but I listen to talk radio all the time). Do I get credit for knowing that Chris Brown beat up Rihanna?


I hate when they do that divide the stage and let someone decide who is in the bottom 2 trick and was glad Scotty just said no and had to be dragged over to James and Haley. Lauren lost complete control the minute she knew she was not going to stand next to James...the pout on her face was...well a pout worthy of the queen bee of Toddlers and Tiaras who realizes she is not going to win the Super Grand Supreme title. I KNOW she is only 16. So was Allison and Allison NEVER let us see her sweat. I'm pretty tired of them coddling Lauren. Although, seeing her first song played back, I realize it was better than I thought it was last night. She does the best when she is singing with someone else.


Over the past few weeks, one of the mentors must have gotten to Iovine and pulled him off of the Haley hate train. He actually acted like he gave a hoot about her tonight. I agree with Mr. KK, that Jennifer's criticism of her first song was just plain bitchy. And I withdraw my statement that Iovine was trying to sabotage her.


Speaking of JLo...for a 40 year old woman...she can dance. There is no way she was singing that song all the way through as even she would have been too breathless with all that dancing. I still hate the current trend that every song has to have some random rapper in it.


I enjoyed Lady Antebellum. I understand the lead woman singer whose name I should but do not know, auditioned for Idol and was rejected. Probably for Kristy Lee Cook.


The best thing about Jacob leaving tonight is that Mr. KK will keep watching Idol.


Guest Blogger: Mr. KK

KK is unavailable to blog today, so she asked me, Mr. KK, to take her place because we generally share the same brain when it comes to evaluating the live show performances.

Without further ado, worst to best from last night:

WORST (5): Jacob:

I don't understand how he hasn't been voted off yet and I am starting to worry that the longer he stays the more likely it is that he is going to win the whole thing. If that happens, I will never watch Idol again. For his first song, he chose "No Air" which is the only Jordin Sparks song that I actually like. (Auntee, you may have been joking but if you really don't know who she is, she won Idol a few years ago). "No Air" was clearly meant to be sung as a duet, but I think Jacob is probably used to doing things by himself that were meant to be done with others. His performance of the song was just terrible, probably because Jacob is about as contemporary as the carpenter jeans that I can still not let go of. On a side note, I am sofa king tired of J-Lo interrupting the other judges when they start to give negative comments that she doesn't agree with. I really wish Randy would have told her to shut up when she interrupted him. It makes me miss Simon even more because he certainly would have put her in her place. Back to Mr. Lusk...for his next "hit" he chooses "Love Hurts," a song made popular by Nazareth in the 70s that I really like as well. Love hurts...more like my head hurts after listening to him butcher this song.

(4) James:

Yes Auntee, you read that right. James was just not very good last night. I think people that liked his performances last night had Idol goggles on. What I mean is that if you heard these same performances of James' on the radio, you would immediately change the channel. He started off the night with a Jared Leto song that isn't that great of a song to begin with and James proceeded to sing it with tons of pitch problems and he even seemed off key at times. Of course the judges praised his performance, likely because they decided a long time ago that they wanted him to win this year. Look, I really think James appears to be a very genuine and nice man and I truly hope he has a good career. Having said that, he continued his terrible night by being pitchy on "Without You," a song that everyone loves. The judges even seemed to think he did a bad job but were afraid to say anything negative about him. Don't worry judges, AI voters are like mice following your directions as if you were the pied pipers.

(3) Scotty:

I thought his performance of "Gone" was fun but I didn't care too much for the song. He then offered an absolutely boring performance of "Always on My Mind." Don't get me wrong, he sang it well but it just seemed to be lacking emotion. I know that this was originally an Elvis song, but people from my generation only think of this as a Willie Nelson song. I've seen Willie perform that song live in person twice and there was never anything boring about it. Maybe it would have been better if Willie shared his herbs with Scotty before the performance.

(2) Lauren:

Her performance of "Flat on the Floor" was my favorite performance of hers all year. That song is fast-paced and very wordy and seems like a hard song to sing. I think she nailed it and blew away the two performances that had proceeded her. The judges loved it, especially Steven who always seems to look at Lauren in a creepy way. Another side note: We've been watching and enjoying NBC's "The Voice" and I encourage you to watch it. We need to have a vote as to the biggest perv judge between Steven Tyler and Cee-Lo. KK thinks Cee-Lo's tyrannosaurus rex arms would win that battle. Back to Lauren...Her performance of "Unchained Melody" didn't blow me away but I think she sang it very well. She didn't have any of the pitch problems that some of the other contestants had last night. I had a Righteous Brothers cassette when I was growing up (ya, that's right, a cassette tape) and I don't think anyone will ever sing that song as good as the brothers did. But I think Lauren did a very good job with it and really showed that she has a pretty dang good voice.

(1) Haley:

I think Haley has the best and the most unique voice left in this competition. Her initial performance of the unreleased Lady GaGa song was fantastic. I think Jimmy actually likes Haley a lot and wants her to win this. It certainly had to take some convincing from Jimmy for GaGa to agree to let Haley perform a song that GaGa hasn't yet released to the public. I think she did an amazing job on the song and I don't think the song itself was bad. Randy and J-Lo obviously disagreed. I think J-Lo is just jealous of the fact that Haley has a better voice than J-Lo herself (something that we likely won't be able to truly assess tonight on the results show given that J-Lo will almost certainly be lip singing). I think Randy just agreed with J-Lo so that she wouldn't interrupt him again. I also think it's hypocritical of the judges to bash Haley for singing an "unknown" song when other contestants did the same. I don't think James' Jared Leto song is topping the charts; and only country music fans have probably ever heard "Gone" that Scotty performed. It certainly has to be a sign of the apocalypse that Steven Tyler was the voice of reason when he told Haley that when someone can take a song that we don't know and make it work, that's a beautiful thing.

The only good thing about the negative criticism Haley got on her first song was that she was able to have a wonderful "FAH Q judges" moment when she just killed "House of the Rising Sun." It was definitely the best version of that song that I have ever heard.

Predictions:

Bottom three should be: Jacob, James, Scotty

Bottom three will be: we probably won't find out for sure but it will probably be Jacob, Haley, and Lauren

Going home: unfortunately, I think it's probably going to be Haley given the negative comments. Jacob, you are the weakest link...hopefully we get to say goodbye.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Now and Then? I Ask How and When?

HOW can Jacob still be here and WHEN will he be gone? More on that subject in a moment.


First, our friends at Vote For the Worst pointed out it was rather odd to see Sheryl Crow mentoring, since in 2007 she trashed Idol for its commercialism. If you care to see her opinion,click on this link http://www.buddytv.com/articles/american-idol/sheryl-crow-doesnt-get-america-4988.aspx. She has evidently changed her tune or she is big buddies with Iovine and has decided that he has taken the *commercialism* out of Idol (yeah...thats it as Iovine has recording rights to all the Idols and their offspring). I know she is very highly regarded but I don't know her music although perhaps I should get to know her music. All I know about her is her suggestion to use only one square of toilet paper to solve global warming. I think she may have also suggested that people stop washing their hair. I have to say, she looked clean enough tonight but I don't think I would want to shake her hand. Enough about her.


So, down to the bottom 5 and Randy tells everyone how important tonight is. After tonight, I am pleasantly surprised to say that I was right all along in my favorites as the three of them stood head and shoulders above the other two.


Lets start with Jacob Lusk who early on talked about his ability to put his *skank* on a performance. Or was it *stank*. After all these weeks, Randy has just discovered that Jacob doesn't *know who he is as an artist*. Randy is probably right about that but why bring it up now? He sings some song by Jordin Sparks (who?) and the guy who beat Rihanna up (I think) and undulates his body with his legs apart reminding me eerily of Kristy Lee Cook in her finest moments. I don't know what that was about except as he was singing about needing air I think he ran out of air (at least the kind you breathe in and out through your nose and mouth) but given his position he m ay have been expelling some through the posterior. Then... to further accentuate Randy's criticisms he chooses a rock song, Love Hurts as his second offering of the night. Which had an unfortunate refrain of *It Hurts*. I cannot have been the only viewer thinking *Yes, it hurts... please go away Jacob!*


And then there is Lauren. Who is not the next Carrie Underwood but wants to be. She does not have Carrie's range so cannot sing one of her heartwrenching songs and instead chooses an upbeat song about being on the floor. She sounded like a pageant contestant doing Carrie Underwood. Sheryl at least told her to quit moving her butt around the stage and stand still and sing. And that is not a reference to her butt being big...I bet she is like a size 4 or something. In Hollywood, that is fat. She chooses Unchained Melody for her second song because it her her parent's song. Her parent's have a lot of songs because I'm pretty sure she charmed Steven at her audition by telling him that *I Don't Want To Miss a Thing* was her parents' song...but maybe her parents just have dozens of special songs. The Righteous Brothers are old time favorites of mine and the song is a classic. She did not know what to do with it. At the beginning she started to countrify it and I thought eerily again of Kristy Lee Cook and her rendition of Eight Days A Week. Then she slid into an Archie melisma treatment. If she had a moment it was a Pia moment as I was completely bored, felt nothing, and couldn't wait for Scotty to sing.


And...if the top three are not James, Scotty, and Haley then I guess I will have to relax and watch America pick another Taylor Hicks. I cannot say which one of them was the best tonight because they all had moments, so I will go in order of performance.


James always delivers. I did not know the first song but enjoyed it. He was back to his *wheelhouse* of high notes, lots of energy, and special effects. Then he sings Harry Nilsson...bringing back lots of memories for me of a guy who was not all that well known even back then. This guy is so NOT Adam Lambert. There is not one bit of contrivance about him. And he did control his emotions and it was a moving performance. And..another way he is different from Adam...he cares about his fans. During the Idol tour of the Kris Allen season, Adam frequently refused to meet with fans after the show to sign autographs. It was just too taxing and exhausting for him. The Idol forums have several people who are reporting about James sending letters to them, drawing pictures for them etc. He REALLY wants to win this and you cannot help rooting for him for his hard work and his excellence each week.


Scotty is still my guy. I really was sort of *Whoa* with his first performance as he was moving everywhere and I couldn't keep up with him. So much for the *boring* critics. Then he sang Elvis again. And it was simple. But that boy knows his phrasing. There are several critics on the Idol forum boards saying that Scotty is no better than thousands of singers in Nashville. I don't know. Sheryl Crow seemed impressed by him and since she lives there, I guess she ought to know if he is special or not. She seemed to think that he was.


As for Haley. I am no fan of Lady Gaga and I was thinking *oh no...another bad song choice from her*. Then we get the story of Iovine suggesting it to her, getting special permission from Gaga herself and I'm thinking...maybe Iovine has changed his tune and is actually going to help Haley out. NO. It was pure Iovine sabotage. Haley...do not listen to that man again...ever! Someone said that Iovine was once in love with Stevie Nicks who rejected him and Haley reminds him of her and thats why he hates Haley. Actually, however, I liked the song. The judges did not. Of course to me, NONE of the current songs sung by the Idols was recognizable so when Haley sang this unreleased song it was no different to me than the songs sung by the rest of them.


And then, Haley sings *House of the Rising Sun*. I do not know if you all remember when Siobahn sang it last year and Simon crucified her for it (too harshly I thought then). After hearing Haley sing it tonight, I think Simon was probably too gentle on Siobahn. Randy was right..best single performance of the night.


For like the 5th week in a row I am predicting that Jacob will go home. At some point he has to...right?