Ms. Jackson ...

If you're nasty.

I could write this ENTIRE post about Ms. Jackson. How fierce she looked, how amazing she is, how much I love her ... but I understand that's not what the AI finale was about (obviously, it was about Simon). So, I'll contain myself.

I called it wrong! In spite of obviously superior performances, America made it clear that they prefer HOT over HIPPY. Too bad.

The silver lining is that Crystal's goal of giving her son a better life than she had WILL be achieved. There is NO doubt that she'll go on and have a very successful music career even as the AI "loser" (ala Daughtry).

Lee was gracious, grateful, and wonderful in his final performance of Beautiful Day. It was hard not to love him the minute he started crying before the results were even read. Truthfully, he needs this top spot more than Crystal does, and I'm hopeful for his career as well.

The FUN of the night:

Alice Cooper?!? Alice Cooper! Sounded amazing for a 105 year old man who has been drugged out for at least 89% of his life, and still looks great in pleather.

Siobhan and Eyebrows' How Deep Is Your Love was fantastic until Barry Gibb joined them. Maybe the plastic surgeon pulled his face too tight for him to sing on key anymore.

BM and Michael McDonald were weird. McDonald mentioned "Mike Lynch" twice, did BM even introduce who he was standing in front of ... I mean, singing with?

Dane Cook's Simon "Song" was only funny when he decided that bringing a bunch of no-talent fame-whores back would be a good idea, only to have it backfire (shock!), requiring an uncomfortable cut to break.

I was initially mad at Christina Aguilera for not actually singing with the AI girls (Diva), but I got over it, because she really is amazing. (I'm not over how dominatrix outfits are appropriate for a family show.)

The guys' (wearing jeans, by the way) Hall & Oates medley was cheezy. Andrew still can't sing, and I let Tim out of my pocket for this performance only.

Crystal got to sing with Alanis Morissette because she’s one of her idols. Lee got to sing with Chicago because, well, he’s from Chicago. And possibly lost a bet.

Carrie Underwood’s new single, “Undo It,” is co-written by Kara. Hee-Haw.

Bret Michaels is alive and well.

Pants on the Ground was inexplicably mesmerizing.

Joe Cocker is indebted to Crystal for saving his ass while Lee just stood there.

Simon Cowell is leaving AI. Paula is still drunk and incoherent.

Oh, and Janet Frickin' Jackson was there!

Thanks followers for a fun year! See you again for Season 10!

Anti-Climax

I was fully prepared for *shock* victory tonighte of Lee DeWyze. America cannot resist a shy young paint salesman who has no confidence overcoming all odds and making his dream come true...not when he is up against an unwed mother with a chin piercing and a big tattoo. Forget that he had to be released from a recording contract to get on Idol. Forget he's made 2 CDs already and forget he is already the voice in a baby food commercial. He is really just a paint saleman who played guitar in his bedroom at night and dreamed big.

What I was not prepared for was arriving in Nantucket and finding that in the process of reshingling one side of our house, our caretaker completely disconnected our satellite dish, shingled over the hole in the side of the house where the wire comes in and then failed to drill a new hole and reconnect it. So, I could not watch the show. And now, I'm not sure if I want to. IF we had a ladder and IF we had a drill (heck, I would have used an ice pick at that point but didn't have a ladder) we maybe could have reconnected it. The caretaker better be here tomorrow to rectify this.

So, I had to accept it for what it is.

Clearly Crystal outperformed Lee last night but I'm thinking a lot of Casey fans switched to Lee and that she could not overcome the god and mama performance of last week. I only got in about 20 votes total before I just gave up in despair as the Dial Idol #'s were so bad for her.

I would like to say something really positive about Lee and I'm sure someday I will but right now...pffft!!

Still, Crystal gets a car and she gets and album and maybe she gets more creative control than she would have been if she was the winner so all is not bad. Plus...I have a place I can go to watch the show repeated on the internet tonight if i want to...but I'm not sure that I will. I need to check out what Crystal's performances were tonight.

So...until next year Idol junkies! Thanks to all of you who have been reading our blog thi season! We really appreciate it!

Now...on to So You Think You Can Dance!

Oh...an explanation of who CM is and how he almost got jumped in New Bedford. CM is Mr. Aunt Tee. He was at a convenience store in a shady part of New Bedford trying to buy beer and wine (it was the sort of store where the beer was Colt 45 and the Wine was Boones Farm) when he came out to the car to find 2 tough looking women circling it looking ready to pounce! He got so nervous he set off the car alarm himself!

And the Aunt Tee's along with Maxine and Monica arrived safely today after a 4 day journey from Kansas to Nantucket. M and M are happy to be roaming free again and except for no TV, the house was in good shape thanks to the Cleaning Fairies and the exterminator. Mr. Aunt Tee is bushed from the drive and the loading and unloading and the trip to the Finast today (where we forgot half of what we need due to the crowd and chaos there).

But...as Scarlett says...tomorrow is another day!

Taking back her title ...

It's undeniable: Crystal has reasserted her season-long status of the woman to beat, and last night she stomped down any last-minute surges from Lee.

I'm calling it now: Crystal is the next American Idol!!!

And how grateful are we that they weren't both forced to climb on the Train to Cheezyville and sing some random song written by a group of teenagers, or Kara, or the YouTube video with the most votes! I don't know how their "singles" were picked, but thank you, AI, for sparing us the crap.

Lee -

The Boxer was better the 1st time he did it. I hate to sound anything like Kara, but I really didn't think that he had any emotion behind tonight's performance. It's still been downloaded at my house, though, because it IS fantastic.

Everybody Hurts was a staple song for me during the highlight of my teen-angst years, and I cringed initially, because it's a total downer of a song. But not, apparently, when Lee sings it. He changed REM's depressing arrangement and made it, dare I say, upbeat! Were people actually clapping along? To Everybody Hurts? Now THAT'S something.

Beautiful Day was just too big for Lee. I actually liked Lee's accoustic version better than U2's version, but it's like trying to sing Aerosmith - you're always just going to be compared to Steven Tyler. And Lee, you're no Bono (even though you did put a leather jacket over a hoodie).

Crystal -

Me and Bobby McGee reminds us, for the 16,000th time that Crystal is a hippy. Got 'cha. But how do you not love it? Even if you don't have dreads, you have to admit that the word-less chorus encourages everybody to get stoned and sing along. And that's just fun.

It was a little hard for me to focus on the singing part of Black Velvet because I was genuinely concerned that Crystal would take a huge tumble and the tiny black velvet dress and ridiculous heels would end up in the air. I think a girl should win every year ONLY because they not only have to sing, but they have to do it impossible outfits.

And I'll just say it - BEST song of the SEASON - Up To The Mountain. That, ladies and gentleman, is how you close a show. And why Crystal Bowersox deserves to win this whole competition.

Ah Well...

First, I am in a hellhole Days Inn in New Bedford Massachusetts. Second, I cannot plug in my computer so am hurrying to finish this on battery power. Third, I have only been able to get in 5 votes for Crystal as opposed to my usual 200 plus because evidently it depends on which part of the country you live in whether the circuits are busy or not And finally, Dial Idol has given it to Lee and they are never wrong. On a positive note, our car was not stolen when CM went to the convenience store in this neigborhood although it was close.

Now for the performances. Crystal was the best. I have no idea where those final songs came from. I have never heard them before. Lee was all over the map in his, but she did all she could do and the judges praised her for it and if the pink cell phones win well...so be it.

I'm sure there will be all sorts of conspiracy theories as to why Lee won instead of Crystal (I'm working on one involving the crappy east coast phone circuits, myself), but in the end one has to win and one has to lose and she had a great run, will get a contract, can make her music and thats a good thing. A year ago she didnt know where her next meal would come from and was begging for insulin outside of pharmacies so her life is immeasurably better today.

Lee probably won't be selling paint any time soon. Good for him, hes a sweet nice man. I thought his best song was his first tonight. The middle one hurt my ears and the last one was just incoherent to me. But I am not impartial at this point.

Ok...we should have s ome good music tomorrow. Hope the weather holds up.

Win - Win!!

It's official ... no matter how next week's finale goes, it's a WIN! Without question, Crystal and Lee have deserved these spots for weeks now. And the right 2 are in the top 2! Well done, America!

Casey's goodbye did stir up a few tears (I won't say from who), and I believe he's genuinely a nice guy. It's been a long time since I've watched the top 3 without a nemesis. And even though I believe that he's not as good as Lee and Crystal, and the producers clearly threw him under the bus, my hope is that he'll have a good career - as a model, if not a singer.

I read Perez Hilton's blog on occassion, but I didn't realize he was in the business of "discovering" musical talent. I'd never heard of Travis Garland and hope I never hear from him again. Perez should stick to drawing penises on celebrities.

And the only thing I like about Justin Bieber is ONE of his Saturday Night Live skits with Tiny Fey.

I'm just grateful they crammed all of the teeney-bopper crap into one show instead of spreading it out over the entire season.

I can't wait for next week's finale! I think the night will be filled with great music, and no matter what, I love the winner!

It Better Not Be Raining on Nantucket Next Wednesday

Or, I will miss the finale due to interference with the satellite feed. And I really want to see all of the idols do their special numbers.

And, of course, I am thrilled that Crystal is in the finale, gets a record deal for sure, and a new car no matter if she does lose to Lee next week. Who, by the way, is starting to remind me of Danny Gokey without a dead wife the way he doesn't shut up. Although Crystal was more vocal tonight that usual, which tells me she does want to win this.

I have no idea what they will sing next week except some really bad song penned by Kara as the coronation song. Then there is the producer's choice and then I think the contestants can sing a song they already sang this season (more Hallelujah coming our way) or can choose another song. I'm not sure what I want Crystal to sing. People Get Ready is the logical choice. Not sure she can recreate the magic (maybe they can add some smoke).

I watched the first 30 seconds of Perez Hilton's new find...Travis/Todd/Tyler whatever. Bored me to death. I watched the first 2 seconds of Justin Bieber. Justin, Fantasia wants her wig back. I suppose the kid can sing...but does he have to?

Like Crystal, I also have a crush on Casey James. Any guy that lets his mama sing for the crowd on his hometown visit and cries when she cries has to be a good guy. And, in case you doubt he was thrown under the bus last night, even the production crew had it in for him. Evidently, his amp was not on stage for his first song and so he ended up sticking the cord in his back pocket at the last minute. I thought his guitar solo was not very loud and lack of amplification explains it. The crew was probably busy testing out the smoke machine and wondering if it was too late to attached wires to Lee so they could lift him up to the heavens during his final note.

Sarcasm aside, these are the two who should be in the finale.

Oh, that little girl Casey picked up during his swan song was not just some random kid from the audience. According to his fans, she is his cousin's daughter.

And, some consolation for Crystal fans after the Lee DeWyze show. Crystal won the coin toss. She will be singing second next week.

I'm seriously praying for a cell phone outage on pink cell phones next week.

A solution?

This post is courtesty of a guest blogger who has been a loyal follower and desperately attempting to comment all season (plus, he agrees with me AND he happens to be my father) -

I'm a big Leonard Cohen fan. If Lee had sung the song the way Cohen sings it ... it would have been piss poor. Lee did the song with his own style and won the night. I thing Hallelujah is about God. MA thinks the song is about sex. My second favorite song is "Everybody knows". If you've never heard it ... find it on you tube!!

Lee and Crystal are both outstanding. They both have unique styles. Since AI fixes everything ... why can't they make it a tie???

L

Leelelujah!

Welcome to "Make sure Casey doesn't have a chance to ruin our plans for a Crystal/Lee finale" night on AI. Let's begin ...

For the 1st time in the history of this blog, Aunt Tee and KK are going to completely disagree when it comes down to the final two. Maybe it's because I'm not jaded by reading Lee's rabid fans' idiotic comments the AI message boards. (You know I love you, Tee, but those boards are bad for your usually impeccable taste.)

BEST to Worst ...

Lee - by a mile, at least.

I don't care who owns the rights to Hallelujah, Lee OWNED the performance of it tonight. Jason Castro and Tim Urban (who is still in my pocket) sang a toned down Jeff Buckley version of the song, making it all sugary sweet and innocent. Lee, on the other hand, actually tipped his hat to Cohen and went with a more is more approach to remind us that he's HOT (that one is for my husband, who accused me of not being able to post without talking about how HOT Lee is). The choir, the smoke, the gruff "Hallelujah"s - a spin on the song that only a "rocker" could do, and I got chills. "Moment" is overrated, but this was one.

But as great as his "moment" was, Simple Man might have been my favorite performance of the night. The lyrics rang true to Lee, and he sang it clean and without the use of any backup gimmicks. And, in both cases, the judges ate it up. As they should have.

Crystal - "she's such a hippie"

Melissa Ethridge was totally predictable and boring, harmonica and all. If you'd asked me to pick a song for Crystal to sing on day one simply by looking at her, I would have said "Melissa Ethridge". It started out great - dark, slow, harmonica. Then 3 clicks of a drum and the karaoke machine came on.

Thank God for Ellen! I don't care what Crystal claims, Maybe I'm Amazed DID push her out of her comfort zone. She sang notes we haven't heard for at least 6 weeks, she got out from behind her Buskeresque guitar and attached harmonica, and she kept Sir McCartney's original lyrics in tact (is that a 1st on AI, ever?). Thank you, Crystal, for reminding me why you're still the frontrunner.

Casey -

What was sadder than seeing him in Cool, TX surrounded by all 40 of his fans? Listening to him sing Ok, It's Alright With Me. I'm pretty sure he knew he'd be thrown under the bus no matter what happened, so he followed in Crystal's footsteps and sang lyrics straight to the judges. And he looked as excited to be singing it as John Mayer, no doubt, was to hear that Casey would be butchering Daughters later in the night.

Randy and Kara all but said "sing this one last song for all of the girls, and maybe you should consider this type of music after you leave Idol as the loser". I'm not a John Mayer fan anyway, but Daughters is probably his lamest song. That said, I'm pretty sure Casey could have jazzed it up, made it different, made it likeable - if only he hadn't already given up.


And in spite of all of the judges transparent prodding, I'm convinced we might be looking at a Lee/Casey finale.

Close your eyes and you're listeing to Taylor Hicks - who WON this show once. Open your eyes and Casey is way better looking than Taylor Hicks - who WON this show once. Uh oh.

*Cowellelujah*

The title is in quotes because it is taken from a 2008 article in The Mail Online. Yes, Simon Cowell owns the rights to Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah. He has been making buckets of money off of it being recorded by contestants on all his talent show productions in England for the past few years. And it is a great song. But I wondered why this song, written by a pretty obscure songwriter back in the late 60s or 70's was all of the sudden the new *Amazing Grace*. I mean, I know who Leoanard Cohen is only because I hung around with a person who was very savvy musically back in 1972-73 (thank you L) . I didn't hear his songs on KLEO top 40 hits back in those days. And, I had never heard Hallelujah until Jason Castro sang it on Idol (courtesy of rights owned by Simon Cowell). And I have wondered why some of Cohen's other songs have not been sung on Idol...such as Suzanne and Bird on A Wire. Guess Simon didn't buy those.

So...Lee had his moment. And it was a very emotional performance to follow his earlier emotional performance. Lee is was all emo and that was a very smart thing to be tonight. You cannot go wrong singing about your mama and God. And it certainly helps that Hallelujah is not vocally challenging. Even Tim Urban had a moment with it. And Lee had the choir and some smoke behind him too. So, it is no wonder that he is number 1 on Dial Idol rankings.

Now, before KK goes bonkers at my sarcastic tone about Lee, let me explain that for the past week, Lee's fans are verging on Adam/Siobahn fan hysteria. Crystal posts a tweet on facebook and there are 2 or 3 Lee fans whose comments are generally as profound as the following: U suck! Go Home. Lee Rules! I kid you not, some 47 year old woman posted almost that exact verbiage. I looked up her profile and found out that she considers herself *a happy person*. She also made the error of telling the entire world the name of the doctor she works for and what town she lives in. Now...some people might be inclined to contact her employer and let him know how she spends her work hours on facebook telling strangers they suck. (Believe me, I was tempted but I'm not going to get sued for tortious interference with her employment or anything like that). So, i just reported her to the Facebook police. Speaking of which, I wish someone would police Mr. Aunt Tee on Facebook. He has now bonded with strangers in London who share our last name.

Moving on. I thought Crystal was great tonight. What can you do when your up against mom and God? I like her better when she doesn't use the harmonica. And Come To My Window is not my favorite song in the world either. When it was hinted she was doing Melissa Etheridge I went to youtube and heard Melissa sing a song called *Indiana* which I wish Crystal had sung instead. I have no idea if it was a big hit for Melissa or not but its lyrics would have been very compelling. Crystal did knock Maybe I'm Amazed out of the theatre. And she didn't wimp out on it like that Jem woman on Youtube did. She did it in Paul McCartney's style. I also liked that she didn't compromise the lyrics and sang *maybe I'm a man*. I think she's not going to mess with another songwriter's lyrics.

I love Casey. In fact, if Crystal doesn't make it to the finals, I'm voting for Casey just to piss off the horrible Lee fans. But he wasn't very good tonight. Have to agree with Randy's comments on the first song...it was just all right. He had no choice but to do Daughters. Which is a good song I had never heard before. However, I have been following John Mayer a bit on the gossip sights lately and have to say that he is not a very admirable person doing his kiss and tell about all of his conquests. But that is not Casey's fault. Still, Casey has a very strong fan base (they are not obnoxious like Lee's fans) so..I'm hoping Crystal pulls it through.

Of course, the last thing Mr. Aunt Tee wants to watch somewhere in a rural NY state motel next week is American Idol. And the last thing I want to watch in a rural hotel in Indiana is 4 hours of Lost. Hope you all voted for Crystal just to make sure he suffers as much on Tuesday night as I will suffer on Sunday night!

If it's any consolation ...

... the only person who got more camera time that you, Big Mike, is your sobbing wife and baby (also sobbing).

At one time I predicted that the Top 3 would be Crystal, Lee, and Eyebrows. Of course, I'm ecstatic that Eyebrows didn't stay the course, and am pleased with his "replacement" - even if I am still concerned about the Taylor Hicks factor.

I'm really looking forward to seeing Lee and Crystal return home. And I'm sure Casey's return home will be filled with screaming girls of all ages.

After dealing with a sick baby for an entire day, I didn't have the stamina to watch last night's performances in their entirety, and fast forwarded through all three of them. Even Daughtry - the original David Cook - and Jon Bon Jovi, who I've loved since I was 7. But I'm sure they were fantastic. I was just. that. tired.

DOIN' THE HAPPY DANCE!

In case you all missed it, BM went home tonight. I am ALMOST as happy about him going home as I am about Crystal being in the top 3. Since he is gone, I will be gracious and say that he handled it pretty well. And he sang the song better tonight than he did last night. I have always avoided looking at BM's wife very much. Another blogger pointed out, however, that each week, as someone besides BM was sent home, she was standing and cheering. So...I have to say my heart didn't go out to her as she was crying when he left. I'm glad Crystal's family was gracious enough not to jump up and down.

Also, in case you missed it, Ryan sent them to safety *in no particular order*, so Crystal was not necessarily in the bottom 2. Dial Idol predicted her as the only safe one. My guess is it went Crystal, Lee, Casey and Mike. I think its going to be a lot of fun seeing them next week on their homecoming tours. Yes, Casey sings like a goat sometimes and gets a little lazy with his arrangements but after all he's gone through with the judges, I am very happy for him (and his mama).

For once, we got real entertainment from the guest performers and not a circus show. I did not watch Fantasia's year and I am not a fan of R&B and soul music but she seems like a sweet and classy lady. My only critique is that you couldn't see her eyes for the bangs. I guess that is the new style (again). I remember when my mama punished me by making me put my long bangs back in a headband in 7th grade. Well actually, it wasn't punishment, she wanted to make sure my forehead did not break out into horrible acne from those long bangs. Anyway, I like Fantasia.

Had never heard Daughtry although I know he is another idol legend and I like him a lot. What a relief to hear people play real music and not have half naked dancers roaming around among smoke....or dancers with TVs on their heads. And a song that has word that mean something. And of course, Bon Jovi. They came to fame in the years when I was working to hard to listen to music but I can see why they are still here after 25 years and selling out arenas. And...I have a bit of a personal connection to them, since I worked very closely with their first cousin, a man called Joe Bon Giovi at Pizza Hut. A really nice guy.

Casey really did not expect to make it to the final 3. He tweeted a sort of farewell to his fans today saying something to the effect of thanks for everything, its been a great ride no matter what happens etc. I'm not sure what Lee expected...he never seems to expect much. But, I'm pretty sure they were both sitting there thinking *send BM home and not Crystal*.

Will we hear from BM again? Hard to say. I think I can safely predict he will not be back on Idol in 3 years having sold millions of cds, like Daughtry.

Back off, Crystal, he's mine!

Oh Crystal! We missed you there for awhile!! She's TOTALLY BACK!

Best to Worst:

Crystal! In a season where the lyrics of songs have been put in the spotlight (bringing a tank onto stage, anyone?), I'm Alright was, in my opinion, Crystal's way of letting America know that she's NOT a "Contestant", and she's happy no matter what. And, man, I love that magical bong microphone stand.

Casey - Not since Kristy Lee Cook sang God Bless the USA has a contestant pandered to their fan base more. For that reason alone, I'm putting Casey's Mrs. Robinson in the #2 spot. Well played, Casey. (And seducing Jamie Foxx, too? You just can't catch a break, can you?)

Lee - Why DID you pick Kiss From A Rose, Lee? Weird. It wasn't bad, it was just ... weird. And, in all honestly, Lee's been "pitchy" from day 1. We overlook it, because he's talented and, well, he's HOT. But last night highlighted the pitchy too much for me to overlook.

Mike - The only good thing about Will You Be There was the choir walking down the stairs. In fact, I could have done with JUST them. Favorite scene of the night: Big Mike pushing the "Contestant" T-shirt back at Jamie Foxx - there's the egotistical contestant we all know.

Duets:

Falling Slowly - Okay, I'll be honest here: I know that contestants can't "own" songs on this show. But this song will ALWAYS, in my mind, be the one that launched Kris Allen from "who?" to "winner!". And every performance of it forever and ever should be compared to that one. Now that that's out of the way: Wow! I'm not sure if I loved the song more, or the connection between Lee and Crystal - you could reach out and touch the mutual respect, and love for one another - and THAT made the whole performance. I think I have a musical crush on BOTH Lee and Crystal.

Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman - WE GET IT! You 2 like women! You see unborn children in their eyes! You're romantic, and suave, blah, blah, blah. Also: Guitar copycats.

Going home ... finally - Big Mike. Because a "goal" of Winner was just too obvious.

Killing Her Softly With His Song

You have to love Casey. He basically told that horny old broad, Kara *I'm just not that into you* tonight. Thought the judges were too over the top about it and should have just let it speak for itself but the producers should take notice and say...get this woman who has serious sexual problems off of this show. I seriously don't think there has been a show since she started judging when she didn't bring something sexual into the mix. Do you think they may have patterned that character on Glee after her? They sort of look alike and act as weird.

Ok..on with the reviews. I am probably the only person who never heard Seal's Kiss From A Rose until this week when people said Crystal should sing it and I you-tubed it. I thought at the time...ok...the words are nice but the music is all over the darn place and it sort of meh. Lee's version was short of meh for me. He was really awful.

Mike does some Michael Jackson song from Free Willy. I don't like Michael Jackson and I don't like big Mike but find it interesting he is singing about a whale. His performance was pretty meh to me too, but all of his are. Somewhere between watching his child come out of his wife's vagina and him breaking people's backs all season, I lost that he is a wedding singer in real life. He is probably very highly regarded as a wedding singer too.

Crystal and Lee do their duet. I got goosebumps. She brought out the best in him. He sucked lemons on his solo and she brought him back to life. If he wins this thing he owes her big time. And, she said *he is my musical crush* which most competitors would not do. She loves the music and I think Lee does too and I think we have the top 2 right here in front of us.

Casey's Mrs. Robinson....oh man...he HATES Kara. Not only does he shove it in her face with that song which makes her look like a fool, he does it in the pit with all the young girls! Go Casey! I'm pretty sure his mama had something to do with that song and that staging. I'm not a mama but if some horny 40 year old told my dearly beloved nephew to take his shirt off to get a job I would be ready to tear her weaves out . Then, if she said he had a lamb vibrato (which he has always had) simply because he quit singing love songs that she could pretend were sung to her, I would suggest that he put her in her place by having a lot of really cute young things throng around him while he made fun of an old woman. Go Casey's mom!

Poor little J. I was a complete and total irrationally unhappy person today when she tried to tell me how to paint. It was like PMS times 2. Then Crystal comes out and wails away at I'm Alright and I burst into happy tears! Several people suggested that song for her but Kenny Loggins' version just seemed too tame. Crystal went big and big and bigger and I'm proud of her.

I guess Casey and Big Mike did a duet. I thought it was awful.

If there is a just universe big Mike will finally go home.

Now that they're grown ...

... out and just starting to look normal, he's on his way home to pluck the hell out of them again. His eyebrows, that is.

FANTASTIC results show! Not only was BM taken down a notch (always good to see that big head deflate a bit), but America FINALLY got the results right!! Bye, Bye Eyebrows.

I will admit that I felt a tiny twinge of sadness in my cold, black heart as I watched him sing his last song. I suppose if my daughter brought home a boy like Eyebrows, I wouldn't ground her for life. He's probably a very nice boy ... with a very bad voice and an unfortunate passion for tweezers.


I have a new concern now. One of grave importance. How is Casey still around? He has to have some serious fans to pull him out of the hole he dug for himself. And it's time for me to finally say what my husband has been saying all along:

Two words: Taylor Hicks

America likes a man who smiles like a fool, whether or not he can sing. Uh oh.


Lady Gaga's performance was weird, but she's Lady Gaga. I love her music, I think she's gorgeous, and strange. But 1/2 naked men, lace bikinis, and fire are a little much for Idol, no? Or, I'm getting old.

Harry Connick Jr, on the other hand, was incredible. As to be expected.

The Lady Survives

I really did approach tonight thinking that Crystal's magic had died and she would be sent home. Perusing the Idol board and the bloggers and critics commentary, it appeared that about 50% loved her performance and 50% either hated it or didn't get it and if you are looking for new fans...50% on the down side it is not good. At the crucial moment, my idol watching companion, Monica, jumped up next to me and snuggled close (she has been rather fickle lately...I think she favored Andrew or Didi) to comfort me if Crystal was voted off. Oh oh...she is with Casey this is not good. And I know that Casey got a HUGE number of protest at the judges cruelty votes and I'm thinking...oh no.

Can you imagine how shocked BM was to find he was in the bottom 2? Reading his tweets you are bombarded with his narcissm. *Keep the dream alive* *I am at Peace* *Almost there*. The other contestants thank their fans, talk about how great the mentors are, what a wonderful experience it is, how much they love their fellow contestants...but not BM. Nope...its all *we can make my dream come true!* And I note he had to hog about 30 seconds of screen time hugging Aaron and giving him kind words. Please make him go away. Please. I am heartened that he was in the bottom 2 even though he got such rave reviews last night...but please make him go away.

And KK, you will not like this...but I actually cried when Aaron was singing his last song. Don't get me wrong, I don't know how he lasted this long (I thought he would go at 6 or 7) but he was sort of growing on me as a person.

So, Crystal was either #2 or #3 in the votes last night. So, I am happy.

Now on to Harry Connick, Jr., who I have always loved but have not spent time buying his cds etc. He really gave it his all to these kids this week. He has set the gold standard for mentoring. He just loves music! However, I cannot resist judging his performance by the criteria the judges used to judge Crystal last night.

I thought it was kind of sleepy really. Sometimes the words were sort of lost but it got better the 2nd half. I actually kind of liked it and your phrasing was wonderful. I like that song but I'm not sure I would have picked it for you because it wasn't big enough. You have to get away from doing love songs that mean something to you and go for something big each week.

Seriously, it was Harry Connick, Jr. and it if you love that type of music you do and if you don't you don't. I do.

Oh..I guess Lady GaGa also performed which was the biggest waste of screen time since watching a rerun of bowling for dollars. I tuned in long enough to see naked torsos and smoke and some half-naked lady walking around making gutteral noises and then turned to another channel for the interim.

Thank God for Harry

Harry Connick Jr., where have you been all of my Idol life? Now THAT'S a mentor, ladies and gentleman. *swoon*

Best to Worst:

Lee "Harry Connick Jr's wife thinks you're hot, too" DeWyze - Every season there's that underdog contestant that the judges just start to notice towards the end, and it appears he's solidly in the "dark horse" spot from here on out. Would he have won the show if That's Life was his last performance ever, I don't know, Ellen. But, it was the best of the night, hands down. Even if he did look a little drunk? (Didn't he? Am I just imagining that?)

Big Mike - I interpreted his "12-piece, East-coast band" comment as "I play weddings." And the double hand wave supports my theory. At least he didn't sing New York, New York with a top hat and cane. And, of all the contestants, BM brought enough swagger to do Sinatra justice (although his swagger is cheese to Sinatra's class). And while the "picture your gorgeous wife" bit was way over the top, the slowed-down version of The Way You Look Tonight came in 2nd best.

Crystal - Let me start by saying that she looked gorgeous! Old movie star gorgeous. Mermaid dress, feather in her hair, standing up from the piano to sing center stage gorgeous. I've never heard Summer Wind and didn't have the forethought to YouTube it like Tee (although, maybe I should). But, for that reason, I think I'm bringing a view comparable to the majority of Idol viewers and voters: "what the hell, Crystal?" And, that, my friends is not good.

Eyebrows - For the 1st time in history (of this Blog), Eyebrows is not rounding out KK's bottom spot. I liked his hair - it was way better than the Something About Mary hair he normally has. And he's, apparently, as tall as Sinatra. So, that's good for him, or something. The cold, hard, truth is that this kid isn't going anywhere anytime soon. So, whatever.

Casey - Casey maybe should have left AI to meet his friend for the $50 and free food gig instead of fumbling through Blue Skies and embarassing himself. He sounds like a lamb (welcome to 2 months ago, Kara) and his only saving grace was Harry trying to convince America that he killed it in rehearsal.

Bottom three: Casey, Crystal, Mike

Going home: Casey

They Mostly Didn't Do It My Way

At least we were spared BM singing My Way. I love Sinatra and songs of that era so I was really looking forward to the show tonight. Who can mess up these songs especially if Harry Connick, Jr. is doing the arrangements?

Well...Candy Man can (remember eye candy and ear candy Casey)? Oh dear. The arrangement seemed too slow (sorry Harry) but maybe it seemed that way because each note was so painful to hear. Vote For The Worst actually made a last minute switch of its pick from BM to Casey after that performance. VFTW has been talking about Casey's *goat* vibrato all season and it appears that Kara has now quit fantasizing about Casey long enough to actually hear him sing and listen to his vibrato...although she called it a *lamb* vibrato. I think this might be the week where Casey goes home. I wish that BM and Aaron were going home before him but...if he's not getting the lion's share of the *vote for the hottest* votes...and clearly he isn't if he has been in the bottom 3 for 2 weeks in a row, there is no way someone is going to jump on the Casey bandwagon after tonight.

And, jumping on bandwagons is what the show is about at this stage. A bunch of people have lost their favorite and are either pouting and will never vote again if they were truly obsessed (Siobahn's fans) or are looking for someone else to vote for (like me when Brooke White was voted off). So they are going to look for a new favorite.

So...for the rest of them:

Aaron was cute enough and sang a song that everyone knows and likes so he will probably survive another night. Plus, the only really bad thing anyone had to say was he doesn't have the stage presence or charisma of Frank Sinatra. No shit Sherlock! The kid is 16 years old, has somehow managed to get up here in the top 5 despite his rather mediocre talent and you are complaining because he is not Frank Sinatra?

As stated above, Big Mike spared me from cleaning up projectile vomit. As my cat knocked over a half gallon of milk on my area rug last night forcing me to scrub my floor and do laundry at 1 AM, I am grateful for that small blessing. I suppose, if I didn't hate BM so much I would have something nice to say about his performance. I thought it was predictable, boring, and really old-fashioned in a bad way. Like a lounge singer at a seedy motel bar on the very edges of the Vegas strip. The kind of place that rents by the hour. But the judges loved it. And what is this stuff about his band in New York? I thought he was an impoverished personal trainer who cannot afford to feed his kid. Could it be we have had a *plant* all along?

Lee sings That's Life and does a great job. The judges are pushing him a lot lately so maybe he is getting the most votes every week. It was much better than BM's performance and I like Lee so good for him. I'm not so sure that shyness is genuine...he seems to have cosied up with Siobahn quite easily (groping her thigh on the couch) and someone mentioned he was very familiar with Lacey in that Top 12 group number during Idol Gives Back Week. But he did well tonight and deserved the praise he got from the judges.

The big question on the official idol boards Crystal Bowersox page this week was *what song should she sing?* There were some votes for My Way (so wrong for her or really anyone but Sinatra himself), That's Life, and Come Rain or Come Shine. The overall preference was a song called Blues In the Night which wasn't even on the list. NO ONE suggested Summer Wind. Probably because no one had ever heard of it unless they were not only fans of Sinatra, but pretty hard core fans. When I read on a spoiler site that she was singing it tonight, I went to Youtube to hear Sinatra sing it because I had never heard of it. Also on Youtube is a video of some 6 year old auditioning for Britain's Got Talent singing that song. I suggest you watch that if you were unimpressed with Crystal's performance.

As she was singing it, I was thinking...I LOVE this but get BIG Crystal. She did get big where the song should have been big (as least if you listen to Sinatra sing it). She also seemed, to me at least, to invoke those girls who sang with the big bands, like Rosemary Clooney. I was thinking *oh good*...another moment....and then Randy decides to dump poop on her. And Ellen thought she swallowed the lyrics. Kara was not effusive but at least she mentioned her phrasing (notice no other contestant was complimented on that aspect, which, after all, is Sinatra's claim to fame). And Simon just called it self-indulgent (a comment he normally reserves for people who go over the top....not people who are understated). So..I'm thinking...maybe I'm wrong about it. Then, after voting pretty much non-stop for 2 hours for her, I go to a site and watch it again. And I was not wrong. She was amazing. She hit every note including the high one (without a scream); her phrasing was impeccable; and she just oozed the era. But...that is my opinion.

My theory why the judges panned her and why others might find her performance not that impressive is that it is a song that hardly anyone knows, with the exception of Simon. Also, she said the lyrics meant a lot to her. Well, everyone was trying to figure out the lyrics of a song they had never heard before and completely disregarded how well she sang them.

I hope she is safe tomorrow. Next week they get to do two songs, I think. Based on the judges comments tonight I think she ought to sing *Proud To Be an American* like Kristy Lee Cook; or *And I Will Always Love You* like about 7 other idol contestants (Siobahn was working up to it...you know that she was); or *Over the Rainbow*; or *I Who Have Nothing* or *Alone* or *Put Your Records On* or some other song that has been sung to dreck on Idol in years past.

I think the judges need to watch her performance again!

I don't know if they will do a bottom 3 or not tomorrow. If they do, my predictions are: Casey, Aaron, and Crystal. With Casey going home to the Blue Skies of Texas.

So Far tee70 is still posting!

I haven't been banned again! But only because I have kept my cool in deference to all the Crystal fans who are like the sweetest people in the whole universe. They are always posting things on other people's folders saying *Good luck Wzye Guys from the Mama Soxers*. *Lets Show Siobahn Fans Some Love Because They Are Sad*. If they didn't love Crystal so much (which makes them very smart in my opinion) I would be in diabetic shock from their sweetness by now. I just chime in with sweet thoughts myself (yes I have a few of them).

The closest I got to being mean was comparing the conspiracy theorists to the girl who gives her phone # to some guy who says he will call and never does and then makes up all sorts of reasons why he doesn't (the phone is out of order, he's been in an accident, he maybe thinks I didn't really want him to call so let me text him, he's DEAD!) And I said *let them be in denial and let us move on*.

Right now, the conspiracy theory of choice among the Siobahn fans is that someone posted the wrong voting number on *her facebook page* which led millions of voters to call Aaron's number instead of Siobahns. Of course the facebook page in question is not Siobahn's official idol facebook page but one set up by some demented fan of hers and some fan posted the wrong number. Now we all know that when you want to vote for the best singer who has ever been on Idol but don't know the number because you either missed the show or were so transported by Siobahn's performance you didn't write it down, the FIRST place you go is to an unofficial fan site on facebook, scroll through the 100's of posts admiring Siobahn and find in minuscule type the number to call. Because you would never say...Tivo the show, call or text a friend for the information, or go to the official American Idol Website for the number. Nope...facebook is the primary source for American Idol voting numbers. Of course, I'm not sure that this facebook page even exists. Its probably an urban myth.

Now the other fan groups have not been nearly so incensed when their favorite got voted off (well there is one Didifan who is rather vicious and Katiesnana hasn't returned so she obviously went to banned camp with me and couldn't figure out how to get herself reinstated). This Siobahn madness reminds me of the Adam Lambert fans last year. Remember the tantrum Siobahn threw backstage when she got her first bad reviews in R&B week? I think they must identify with her personality. And frankly, one poster commented she looked like a snub toad when she was eliminated the other night and I think she sorta did too!

Anyway...I led a pact among Crystal fans that we were going to behave well if she is voted off.

And I have my own prediction....Siobahn will never be heard from again after this tour except singing at Friar's Club or Kiwanis or VFW events on Cape Cod and the Islands.