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Friday, April 27, 2012

Jamar Rogers for the WIN

Confession:  I spend my voting time elsewhere.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, you MUST watch this:


Lenny Kravitz 

or this: Bon Jovi 

or this:  Foreigner  

or this:  White Stripes  


How is THIS KID not on Idol?  Oh yeah, Gokey's dead wife.


Back to the task at hand ...

Here's how the rest of the AI competition will pan out:

Next week:  Hollie out
Then:  Skylar out
Then:  Jessica out

Wait a minute!  How'd we get ANOTHER male winner?!?

And lets face it, with a Joshua v Phil finale, who really cares? 

Yes, I'll still watch.  Begrudgingly.  
Just like I watched Lauren Alaina lose to Scotty McCreery after my favorite, Haley Reinhart, was voted off.  

But I don't have to be happy about it.

Boo America!

Obviously, I'm not happy with American Idol voters tonight. I'm not even going to try to act philosophical about it.  Now, who am I going to look forward to each week?  Jumpin Jack Flash Joshua?  Phony Baloney Bibi Chez/Jessica?  Phillips in pain?  Humiliated Hollie?  Six-shooter Skylar?

I will say Jimmy was right about Elise's song choices.  When I saw the Queen song she was going to sing and listened to it yesterday afternoon on Youtube I wondered if it packed enough punch.  And then the Hendrix song was a huge risk which didn't pay off (although I wonder if the judges had given her the same credit for *artistry* that they did Phillips it might have gone over better).   But I really don't think it mattered what she sang.  She was too old, too female, and too different to make it much further. 

I think I will go throw a tantrum now. 






Thursday, April 26, 2012

Contestants choose ... boring.

Yeah, I said it.  B-o-r-i-n-g.

How can you make a night of Queen songs AND Contestant's choice (which has traditionally been the best night of them all) a snooze fest?  

Hand it to these six.  

Do I have my favorites?  Of course!  
Do I have my nemeses?  You know I do.  
Have I been moved to dial in and vote?  Not at all.

Queen Best to Worst:

Skylar - On Queen night, somebody has to sing The Show Must Go On.  You know there was name calling and hair pulling backstage and Skylar's thick bones won out.  Phew!  Maybe Elise could've sung it, but I not this well.  

Elise - I was totally distracted by the tambourine.  But she held her own against the massive crowd of background singers, which is more than I can say for ...

 Hollie - Save Me was an obvious plea to America to get her away from her stylist who doesn't know the difference between an adorable little teenage girl and a middle aged politician.  She bent over a lot, which I guess showed emotion.

Phillip Phillips - Had an extraordinarily large family cheering section - complete with matching Phil-face t-shirts - for a bunch of people who had to beg for money for airline tickets.  My "memory" of Fat Bottomed Girls was listening to it sung by drunk frat boys 87,000 times/night as I bartended my way through law school.  Phil's version would've fit right in there.  It certainly wasn't any better.

Joshua - Maybe I just don't get it.  He was singing into a CB radio, for crying out loud!

Jessica Sanchez - Didn't the judges JUST talk to her about singing songs fit for a 16 year old girl?  Bohemian Rhapsody is NOT a love song.  Put in as many runs and beautiful (over sung) notes as you want ... but you'll be ruining it.  We've all seen the better version of this song:

Did you really think my post would exclude this screenshot?

As a side note:  Every blog I've read this morning has commented on how Baby Of The Week is the only "rocker" who could've excelled on Queen night (because Elise is a woman, and of course can't be a rocker.)  Really?!?  Baby Of The Week thought Gaga's racy lyrics "alienated his fan base" and got him voted off.  But Queen's lyrics - about killing guys and girls with big asses - those would've been okay?  

Contestant's Choice Best to Worst:

Hollie!  (This is the second time in several weeks she's been up top with an exclamation point after her name!)  There is no question she sang The Climb better than Miley Cyrus herself.  There is no question she picked the right song, and none of the other contestants did.  There is no question that she won this round, hands down.  The only question I have is - if the judges stood for Hollie, and twice for Joshua, then why did they all agree Skylar stole the night, yet they never stood for her?

Phillip Phillips - There are exactly three reasons why he's this high on my list tonight:
1.  I'm a Dave Matthews fan.  DMB reminds me of my college days where I skipped classes, sat on porch-couches, and listened to music while, um, relaxing.  
Copying the contortions, too?
2.  Phil Phillips embraced the comparison and pretty much just said, "you want DMB, I'll give you DMB" and it was equal parts awesome, ironic, and hysterical.
3.  At least 2 of the 3 judges had NO IDEA he'd just sung a Dave Matthews song.  They praised him for "giving it Phil Phillips style", "being a unique artist" when he did NONE of those things.  It was the a DMB song, note for note: Judge for yourself  He should've sung Satellite, Crash, or Ants Marching, which are less artsy and more well known (to tweens) but it was still good.

Mantasia - MrKK reminded me that I downloaded Michael Lynche's version of Ready for Love, back in season 9.  So, it's not the song I don't like.  And Joshua looked super stylin in his leather jacket and scarf.  So, it's not his style I don't like.  Ya know what I think I don't like?  The judges kissing his ass every. single. time. for no apparent reason.  Over it!

Skylar - I've said it a bajillion times (particularly last season when we had country-on-country), but I'm not a country fan.  Never heard Tattoos on This Town, never need to hear it again.  Am I the only one who wanted her to stomp around and throw her hair like the Skylar Laine of yore ("yore" being February)?

Jessica Sanchez - She should've pulled the "my father is deployed" card much, much earlier this season.  Well played.  As much as I tried to hold back, I might have teared up a bit.

Elise - I'm going to admit that I had no idea Bold As Love was a Jimmy Hendrix song.  (I leave knowledge like that up to my hippy sister.)  And I didn't appreciate Elise's comment that "I thought everybody knew that song."  Randy is usually an idiot (his button said "Yo"), but he was right about her song choice.

Bottom three:  Elise, Jessica, Hollie

Going home: Elise





Wednesday, April 25, 2012

I'm Mad as Hell Singing F*** the Judges

TWO standing ovations for Joshua Ledet? Ok, he doesn't suck and he seems like a nice guy but this is getting to be a farce.  But America is buying the hype as it appears he is leading the votes on Dial Idol as of this hour.  

It was a decent night for performances, with exceptions.  Queen is not in my *memory song* repertoire so none of these songs had any special meaning for me and some I had not heard until tonight.  I thought it was great the idols got to sing a medley with the Queen musicians.  They seemed really interested in the kids and wanting to *pay it forward*.  Kudos to them.  

Now for the performances:

Jessica starts off singing a completely NOT age appropriate song, Bohemian Rhapsody.  Nothing genuine in her emotions as you could see her thinking *now I'm sad...I've killed a man* and *now I'm mad they are going to kill me* and *now I'm reborn and resigned to my fate*.  Maybe she should have been thinking *mama...I've lost the title*; *stupid voters, I will show you*; and *watch me act confused and helpless America as I am saved by the judge's grace*.  The judges remain seated and compliment her vocal skills.  No one mentions that the song was completely wrong for her.  But, Steven suggests that maybe she cannot sing Rock music and Jennifer sort of agrees so I guess Jessica has to go back to singing the phonebook.  The judges remain seated.

Skylar, comes out and completely slays The Show Must Go On.  I took no notes because I was mesmerized.  Everyone on the boards wanted their favorite to sing this song (I really hoped Elise would sing it).  The judges said it was phenomenal, fabulous, she meant every word.  They remain seated. 

Joshue goes back to singing an upbeat song with A Crazy Little Thing Called Love.  It was entertaining.  He shouted a bit.  He did some sort of slide movement at the end of it which fell a little flat.  I was thinking throughout the song...surely they will not stand for this when they didn't stand for Skylar.  Nope...Randy and Steven are standing up and Jennifer takes her time but gets there too.  And I'm thinking OMG...if he farts Volare will they stand up too?  

Elise sings I Want It All and I'm just wishing she had sung the song Skyler sang.  Steven thinks its great, the judges agree its great.  I wanted more.  Still I love Elise.

Having listened to Jennifer call him sexy last week, Phillips does a tribute to her with Fat Bottomed Girls.  I noticed you could barely hear him sing during the verse where he might have to stay on key because the chorus was louder than him and carried the melody he could not manage to carry.  He then goes into Manbearpig mode and growls the chorus.  Randy is right.  This was not a GREAT performance...except by the backup singers.    I think Randy was being generous calling it good.  The judges do not stand up.

Holly sings *Save Me* and I'm thinking, well at least the judges won't say she lacks emotion as she was nearly bent over with it throughout the song.  I thought it was good, not great, and not up to Skylar's or Elise' performance, but as good if not better than Jessica's performance.   The judges throw water on her and tell her she needs to *let go*; *not let go*; *sing high*; *sing low*; *sing Sweet Chariot*; *just go home already*.  The judges keep their seats.

After the first round, Jennifer says Skylar is the winner and Steven seems to agree.  I agree.  I just don't get why they gave Joshua the standing O and not Skyler and I'm starting to fume. 

 Round 2:  

Jessica has just now inflamed me with rage because she is singing a song that always makes me cry and I don't want to cry when she sings...but I do.  I really cannot blame her for pulling out the *my father is in the service and is being deployed* sympathy card.  I can believe she is a daddy's girl after looking at that mean hatchet faced tiger mother of hers.  Daddy is probably the only one who ever lets her eat.   It was a great performance but the judges...even though Jennifer says she has never heard it sung so well....remain seated.

Now the show is running off time so they don't bother to tell us what song Skylar is singing which is Tattoo on This Town by Jason Aldean.  Steven didn't like it so much but Skylar explains it was for her homey's and I thought it was a great performance and would have been a standout but for the comparison to her first performance.  The judges don't get up.

Here comes Joshua again.  There is no intro to his song but it is not needed as the judges are already standing up.   He sings Ready For Love.  Lots of vocal runs. Jennifer says he focuses the whole room on his performance.  Not me...I'm just counting the seconds until the standing O.  Five, four, three, two, one....BINGO!  

Elise has finally accepted she just ought to do her rocker songs that she does with her own band and I gather Wallace, who accompanies her on Jimi Hendrix's Bold As Love, is in her band.  I agree with Steven.  She needed to do a song more people knew, particularly when they don't even bother to introduce the song or the original artist,  but I think she did a good job and I think Randy is just pissed that Elise had more runs in this song than Joshua did in his.  This was a mixed bag for the judges and they stay in their seats. 

Phillips sings a song by the Dave Matthews Band.  I do not know what the name of it is and they don't have time to tell us.  I am a bit amused that one of the first lyrics is *I am in extreme pain* because that is exactly what he looks like when he is singing every song he has ever sung and as much as Jessica Sanchez gets on my last nerve I have to say she nailed him tonight in her impersonations and saying he turns ugly faces and looks like he is in pain when he sings.  I think she was thinking what I have been thinking all along that there is a major intestinal problem there that goes beyond the kidney stone.  Do you think she has been reading this blog?   Ryan's girlfriend thinks he is yummy.   Steven thinks he has earned the right to take risks and *go alone*, Jennifer is scared because the song is not well-known and he sounded like an asshole singing it, and Randy uses the word artist 405 times in his critique.  Despite his artistry, bravery, blah blah arty farty hes a smarty performance, the judges don't stand up.

Miley Cyrus is a wannabe Lindsay Lohan with a very limited vocal range and only autotune has made it possible for her to have a recording career.  But, The Climb, is an inspirational song.  And I told you all, Hollie is a tough, smart, girl.  With her Liverpool backround (hard knock town) combined with her Texas backround (don't mess with us), she is probably as *thick-boned* as Skylar, if not more so.   So, I cried when she sang tonight.  The judges hated having to stand up for this but they would have been booed to oblivion if they didn't.  Hollie has a lot of fans. 

Its getting harder to predict the third of the bottom three.  I'm going out on a limb and saying Elise, Jessica, and Skylar.  I'm afraid Skylar may be the *shock* elimination tomorrow night but I would hope its Jessica.  And of course, Elise is never safe. 

I would so love to see Phillips, Joshua, or Jessica  go home.  I admit my new aversion to Joshua is based on the judge's absolute pandering to his every move. 





    
   

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

The Jackson Four


This week, Randy Jackson confirmed the views of those of us who have claimed the judges are highly partisan this season,  when he told the ladies of The Talk that he thinks the top 4 are Phillips, Jessica, Skyler, and Josh. He also suggested he would like the judges to have more than one save.   So nice for Holly and Elise.  I just hope he keeps getting more and more surprises from the voting public. 


In other news, Colton thinks singing the Lady Gaga song (which I gather has some racy lyrics...I really cannot remember the lyrics) alienated his fans.  I think Colton (and a lot of other people) overestimated his fan base to begin with. 

Just recovering ...

... from the shocking elimination.  Which is why it's taken me so long to comment on Baby of the Week's vote-out.

(Just kidding.  I've just been busy.)

We haven't seen much of Baby of the Week's attitude up until this point.  Elise has been thrown under the bus as a bitch, Phil has been poked at for being too nonchalant, but Colton has been edited to appear a sweet little Christian boy who loves all.

I believe in Karma, kid.

The voters of America may not have seen you say "I don't care" about the judges criticism before they dialed in (or didn't dial in).  But somebody did.  And that somebody reached down, flicked your ear, and said, "Do you 'care' now?"

I like to think that America saw Schlyer and realized that she's way cuter, way sweeter, and they'd rather be voting for her ... except he STOLE her spot.  

The Tebowing at the end made me get up and leave the room.  Thank God I don't have to watch this kid again.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Colton Dixon Eliminated On Idol....Shock ME!

Colton Dixon was not America's Baby of the Week this week and no one could save him from a shock elimination.  As he went into a full Tebow before singing his final song, I can only speculate on why America sent this young man home.  First and foremost, it has to be because he stunk up the stage last night.  Second, perhaps the tween/teen vote is not as strong as we have always believed it to be...or else they find Phillip more appealing.  Third, I think he was getting just a little bit sure of himself.  Fourth, perhaps America was reminded of him hi-jacking his sister's auditon.   Fifth, he has been described as *knowing how to play the Idol game* and some viewers may have decided they don't like being played.  And finally, perhaps it was just America saying *Judges...we don't love your favorites so up your hineys once more*.

And, any residual sympathy I had for him (and there wasn't a lot) went out the window when  the showed the post performance clip of him saying *he didn't care* what the judges thought of his performance.  He has one bad review night from the judges and he throws an attitude.  Viewers did not see that last night so we cannot blame his pride for his fall, but there was a certain schadenfraude on my part when he got sent home. 

Damn it Jimmy...I think he has finally figured out why Jessica isn't stealing America's hearts.  I said a bit ago she was dressing too old (and maybe I said singing too old too).  Now she will be singing Disney tunes. Can Candle in the Wind be too far behind?   

Despite being in the bottom three almost all of the time, it appears Hollie and Elise are picking up some fans.  I'm a little worried about Elise sticking up for herself last night and tonight because viewers don't like contestants who *talk back*.  I'm pretty sure she was convinced she was toast tonight and decided she was going to tell it like she saw it.   She may pay for it next week.

I slept through the first 10 minutes of the show so missed what happened there.  I enjoyed Kris Allen although I thought he was *pitchy* tonight.  And his song has my pet peeve...the chorus which has a bar or two going up a full octave.  Every other song has that trick.  I am sick of it. 

What about Taylor Hicks?  I thought he had been barred from Idol property!  Good for him being in Vegas this summer.  I didn't watch his season.  He looks like a character! 

LMFAO reminds me of the 20 teens decade's Village People.  If you don't remember who they are, google them.  Complete waste of airtime from my perspective. 

As you can expect, the official Idol message boards are going crazy tonight with Colton's elimination. 

I'm happy as can be with the results. 

 


Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Colton Dixon's Bad Romance In September Has Him Rolling in the Deep Doodoo.

Oh what a night... tributes, drama, reverse psychology, lies, anger, exuberance, two songs each,  and a sick dog all combined in 2 hours of Idol tonight to make my head spin.

The show begins with a replay of the Jessica is SAVED drama.  We see lots of poignant shots of her crying and looking sad and forlorn.  Feel sorry for her audience and vote for her this week.  

Then Ryan pays a tribute to Dick Clark, who should be Ryan's Idol (and probably is).  Dick Clark seemed to never age.  We all got wrinkles, grey hair and pot bellies but until he had his stroke, he seemed to still be a young man.  Young people will not remember American Bandstand but it was must see TV in the after school hours for teenagers of my generation.  We copied the hairstyles, the dances, the clothes, and learned what 45 records to buy to play on our mono record players. Not that in my house we could afford to buy very many of them.  I'm thinking that back then a 45 with an A and B side (that means 2 songs) cost $1.00.  About the cost of a download now.  Someone correct me if I'm wrong.  He just always stayed young at heart.  I bet he had Gaga and Adele, and Usher and even Nicky Menage on his Ipod when he died. 

As I predicted, Hollie goes first.  Like KK, I expected Rolling In the Deep to Be a disaster but she was clever and started with the big chorus which I think got her on key and into the groove.  She did great.  The judges said she did great.  But, frankly, I thought she has been doing nearly as great the whole season.  I'm convinced the judges were using reverse psychology.  Knowing that trashing her last week led to a backlash of votes for her, they are complimenting her this week so that people won't vote for her instead of Jessica.  Hah!  Won't work.  Unlike KK, I am not a fan of Son of A Preacher Man but she belted it like no tomorrow and good for her.  Maybe not being in the bottom three gave her some confidence that America likes her...they really do!   I loved the Liverpool Football Club coming on to give her a boost.  I'm not sure how she will fare this week but I don't think she will be going home.

Colton gets the death spot.  Probably because they know the girl vote is going to keep him around no matter what.  Colton appears to know this too as his first song, Bad Romance, is just stupid.  He is wearing some sort of jacket with tails on it and dancing around the stage trying to act like he is a rocker.  He looks like an organ grinder's monkey.  His key is too low to start and he never really gets to the highs.

  

Then he sings September by Earth Wind and Fire and really is rolling in a deep pile of excrement by the end of it.  The verses are once again too low and they are flat.  He is sleeping through the song and I'm thinking that with that attitude he is lucky to keep the girl until noon on September 1.  The judges actually acknowledge he is not perfect.  KK has addressed the appearance of his sister Schuyler.  Perhaps he has been reading the very few comments about him being an ass for taking her chance away from her.  I predict there will be huge sibling warfare in the coming years and probably a legal proceeding in which they battle for their parent's worldly goods upon their demise.  Schulyer will get screwed out of the china and crystal, you just know it.

I would rank Elise's performance of No One higher than KK but I haven't heard my other favorite niece sing it.  The judges liked it well enough.  Ryan asks her why she is emotional and she says her dog is dying.  Now normally, I would find this pandering but I'm thinking go for the dog lover's vote here girl!  You are way underrated and anyone else would use it so you go for it!  I think she did oversing Lets Get It On..she could have left out some of the runs and trills and just done it straight.  She didn't give any room for our ears to *rest*.  However, I do not agree she shows no emotions when she sings.  I think the judges were just looking for something to trash her for so she won't get more votes than Jessica and pulled out the *emotion* card since they couldn't use it on Hollie  week what with the reverse psychology game they were playing. 

Phillips is doing something different this week since last week they said he was sort of in a rut.  He does Usher's You Got It Bad (I am not familiar with this song) and says he is going to be intimate.  From the judges comments, I gather this was an *arty* version of the song.  I say arty farty as he always looks like he is clinching his sphincter muscles to hold something in.  He starts off singing but halfway through manbearpig comes back and he just growls the rest of the song.  I didn't even notice he didn't use his guitar on Midnight Hour.  The judges loved it.  For me it was just more manbearpig.  JLo liked his dance move...and wanted to know what to call it.  I call it *my kidney stone hurts and I need to defecate*.  He would have brought down the house on American Bandstand with that move!  I'm still unimpressed. His weird faces remind me of the crazy sociopath in slasher movies. He gets a standing O for the first song, I believe.

Ah, and now comes the precious, beloved, adorable, Jessica Sanchez.  Talk about an *attitude*.  When the 7 were introduced at the first part of the show she stood there all morose and pouty.  I guess she will show US!  
After a prolonged mentoring session with Jimmy (coddling her like Lauren) she sings Fallen by Alicia Keys.  Like Hollie, she starts with the big chorus then she adds some growls like Elise.  The judges fawn all over her again but there is no standing O.  Then, she comes out and sings *Try A Little Tenderness* as if she is going to rip the entire voting American public a new lower orifice for rejecting her.  I'm sorry...I didn't realize this song was an angry song.  The judges talk about her emotions too.  I think she was emoting just fine tonight...she is PISSED OFF at being eliminated.  She then lies and says she thought the judges *didn't like her*.  Oh please.  I vowed not to be so mean about her this week but the big lie just is too much for me to ignore.   

And then comes our little dark horse Skylar.  This girl can PERFORM.  She just takes over the stage and it doesn't matter what theme they give her she kills it.  She will be my new favorite when Elise goes home.  I loved her take on *Born This Way* and I was glad Gaga did a country version of it so that Skylar wouldn't get trashed for making it country.  I also loved Heard It Through The Grapevine.  This girl is going to be big.  

Joshua, oh Joshua.  Of course he is going to sing Fantasia's I Believe.  He gets a standing O.  Do they just time his performances for the judges'  Deep Vein Thrombosis break or do the judges really want to stand for him each time he appears.  It was fine.  Not memorable.  Not a moment.  Not a standing O moment.  Then he does A Change Is Gonna Come and he deserves all the praise he gets for it but perhaps not the standing O.  The last time I recall hearing this song sung on Idol was when Sayesah Mercado sang it and explained she identified with it because  her journey on Idol was like the Civil Rights Struggle of the 1960's when marchers were being beaten with billy clubs and had fire hoses knocking them down and churches were being bombed and voting registrars murdered and men hung from trees. (You can see why I still don't like Sayesha).  But Joshua really was probably born on a river and if not in a tent in a bayou shack.  So...I was moved by his rendition.  I get angry at the judges for pimping him so much...but truth be told...I like him, I really do.

Now for a blatant plug and plea.  If you are a regular reader of our blog, please click the Google +1 icon.  This lets others know about it.  I know its silly, but it makes our day when to see that more people are reading it and commenting...even if they do call us *c...s...ers*. 

Predictions on bottom 3:  Hollie, Elise, Joshua.  I think we will lose Elise this week. 

  

   

 









     

Does Everybody Have to Cry?!?

The judges spent the entire night telling everyone to "connect to America" by "showing emotion" and "letting go".  Tonight, more than ever, I wish Simon was still there to roll his eyes and just say, "look, it wasn't good"

Best to Worst, by performance:

Dave Matthews Ditto doing Usher! - Well hell, kid.  Usher?  You Got It Bad?  Who would've ever thought that one of Phil's performances would be the 1st of the year that I really want to download?!?  Remember when Kris Allen pulled out Kanye's Heartless?  Then he won the whole damn show?  Phil Phillips might've just won himself the whole damn show.  So sick!!

Hollie's Adele - When she said "Adele", all of America held their breath.  When she said "Rolling in the Deep", all of America rolled their eyes.  But Oh. My. God. Hollie KILLED it!  There are so FEW covers of Adele that I can even tolerate, and fewer that I actually like.  I'm so excited for Hollie's big night!

Skylar's Born This Way - I loved the country version, too, JLo!  Who knew!  I feel like I can actually watch Skylar growing and changing each week, and it's awesome that the judges consistently like her!

Jacob 2.0's Change Gonna Come - I won't lie.  When Ryan Seacrest told us Jacob would be back with "an emotional civil rights anthem" I instantly knew what he'd sing and I audibly sighed.  Just because he's African American, and sings gospel music, doesn't mean he can sing this song.  But damn it, I loved it.  I loved the groans, I loved the overdone runs.  How did HE not get teary at the end of THIS song?  Oh, he was focused on JLo's abs?  I'm pretty sure that's not the "emotional connection" the judges (or your grandma) were going for. 

Hollie's Dusty Springfield - It was a little rocky in parts and started out a little rough (I'm stingy with compliments here because it's one of my favorite songs), but she's on the verge of a breakthrough here.  You can't compare her to Jessica Sanchez anymore!  And, considering Jessica was in the bottom 3 last week and Hollie wasn't, that's a good thing!

Skylar's Heard It Through The Grapevine - Nobody can ever say this girl doesn't know what genre she belongs in.  She just made the Smokey Robinson & The Miracles country.  And it was awesome.  

Let's Get It On, Elise - So sexy.  And her scream in the middle ... did I hear a little Steven Tyler in there?  Wha, judges?  "show emotion in the middle of Marvin Gaye"  Like that scene in When Harry Meets Sally?  What do they want?  I wish she wouldn't have critiqued herself at the end, though.  That negates any votes the "my dog is dying" quip won her. 

Elise's No One - The cheesy dress, weird squat into the wind machine, and new tan made me think I was watching Mariah Carey.  No One has a special place in my heart because I watched my little sister soothe my favorite nephew as a newborn by singing it to him.  She did it better than Elise tonight, unfortunately.  Not my favorite performance, but I still love Elise.


Jessica Sanchez' Falling - Is she singing it horribly?  Of course not!  But it was typical.  She wasn't sitting on the piano, but it was still right there.  She does look so pretty though - THIS, AI stylists, is how you do up a 16 year old.  (The whole BS about "I thought you didn't like me and didn't want me to sing" should've put her at the bottom of this list.  And I think THAT is exactly why America doesn't like her - she's not believable!)

Jessica Sanchez' Tenderness - Ridiculous.  If the judges really wanted to help her, they'd tell her the truth: it was her worst performance.  Instead they pulled out all of this "connect with America" crap out.  All the emotion in the world wouldn't have made this good. 

Baby of the Week's Gaga - Sister was so diplomatic and sweet: complimenting him and supporting him.  Even though you could tell, deep inside, she's dying that he's this far and he did it by literally stealing her spot.  All Jimmy has to say about his butchering of Gaga is "he's got a female fan base".     

Jacob 2.0's Fantasia - Zzzzz.  I'd like to blog about it, but it put me to sleep.  (I do love his style.  Every single week he's rockin' a fantastic outfit!)  I'm over the tears at the end of every. single. song.  But the judges aren't, clearly, because they stood up.  Again.  Joshua could've stood there and sung Jingle Bells and they still would've bent over backwards digging him out of last week's bottom 3.


Dave Matthews Ditto's Midnight Hour - I think he was singing, but I was so uncomfortable with the weird shrugs, grimmaces, and side-eye, that I literally had to turn away.  "Brilliantly awkward" is so, so true, Steven.  Twitchy!  Please, Phil, put the guitar back on.  I promise I won't make fun of it anymore now that I know what the alternative is.

Baby of the Week's September - Worst performance of the night.  If anybody else sang this (read: a guy who isn't milking the tween girl and Christian votes) they'd be out the door.  Absolutely giddy watching the judges criticize him.  For once.

Bottom 3:  Elise, Hollie, Joshua

Going home:  I'm afraid it'll be Elise.  
 
P.S.  Randy - the talent on this show is NOT better than the talent on "any show on TV right now"  Not even close.
  

Monday, April 16, 2012

Another Video Clip For Your Amusement

Just discovered this video blog called Idology with a funny guy called Michael Slezak and Melinda Doolittle (one of my all time favorite Idol contestants).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzaixrPgccc

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Nigel Lythgoe Explains Jessica Sanchez Elimination

Click on the link below if you are interested in Nigel Lygthoe's explanation of what happened Thursday night.  Interesting tidbits in there such as that judges and contestants do not know results ahead of time and Nigel's use of the term *the pimp spot* for the last slot to sing. Nigel is the executive producer and one of the key developers of American Idol. 

Interesting that he agrees, in part, with us, that Jessica is not connecting with the audience and needs to show some personality.  He suggested he was more shocked that Joshua was in the bottom three than he was about Jessica being the one with the least votes.  He also suggested that the judges treatment of Hollie drove votes to her and away from Jessica.

So, more validation that KK and I are not crazy for not loving Jessica Sanchez! 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bkZDObLdIc

Thursday, April 12, 2012

America to Jessica Sanchez: Not Into You!

Well for once, Ryan delivers on his empty promises of a shocking results night.  Bibi isn't going home but the bloom is off and the judges have to use the save.  America doesn't like her as well as TPTB thought they would. And America just gave the judges a big fat up your hiney vote. They don't like the pimping of Joshua and Jessica (really...that Standing O for Joshua was just too much) and they don't like Hollie bashing.   I'm convinced there was a huge backlash against the judge's treatment of Hollie last night.  I thought the backlash would hurt Elise (and it clearly didn't help her) but it seems to have drawn votes away from Jessica too.  And I DON'T think the judges would have saved Elise in spite of what Steven said about *using our card tonight with results like this*.

But maybe, just maybe, Bibi's elimination was not just a product of Hollie backlash.  Maybe America is as bored with her as they were with Pia last season.  *Perfect* can get boring.  She did sing a song which is not well known which probably hurt her but she was bound and determined to sing it.  On second listening (someone said she almost fell off the piano and I had to rewatch to see that) it wasn't quite as cat meowing as I first thought.  But I agree with KK, it was oversung.  Sitting on the piano was cheese on toast and she was dressed like a cheap whore. Its interesting that in years past with a contestant this young, the judges usually comment *you need to sing younger songs* *you need to dress younger*.  Not with Miss Perfect Jessica/Bibi...they are perfectly content for her to look like a 2 bit lounge singer/soiled dove looking for her next john.  Or maybe Tiger Mother is behind that look.

It looked like the other Idols were glad she was saved but somehow I think if she went home there wouldn't be as many tears as there were for Deandre. Of course they knew she would be saved so its probably not fair to say that.  I'm not saying Bibi is a B...but I suspect her tiger mother keeps her isolated from the group so as not to have her talent *contaminated* and works Bibi's ass to death.  And for those who think she had a perfectly normal childhood...Bibi said it herself...she has been working hard all of her life.  Mama and Daddy and the 120 relatives saw a meal ticket early and all the chips are riding on her.

Onto the rest of the show.  James Durbin looked great and its nice to hear his wedding went off as planned with Stefano as his best man..even if Casey was late.  His song was written by him to his wife.  Somehow I think I have heard the beginning melody before complete with eerie echos back in the 60's or 70's and I'm hoping he doesn't have a plagiarism suit on his hands.  Nice to see he is doing well.

As for Jennifer Hudson...I guess losing weight has made her want to do all sorts of trendy/rappy songs and I like the old Jennifer better (although I'm happy for her that she is thin).  I don't know why Neo had to join the party tonight but at least he wasn't completely rapping.   I don't even know who the heck Neo is.  Maybe he never raps. 

On a style note...it appears that padded shoulders may be making a comeback.  Jessica wore them last night and Jennifer Hudson wore them tonight and Khloe Kardashian was photographed in them earlier this week. 

This blogger is happier than a pig in slop tonight at the Judge's comeuppance.  *Hoist by their own petards* comes to mind. 

Of course, this means that next week, the Standing Oafs will be standing up before Jessica and Joshua sing a note, finally start mildly critiquing Colton and Phillip, be ho hum about Skylar, tell Elise she is losing it again, and actually BOOOO Hollie.   Self-centered jackholes! 

Updated to add:  Just read KK's post.  PLEASE I hope she is wrong about the conspiracy. 

       

Conspiracy Theory: Sanchez' Vote Out Staged by Idol Producers

The most shocking part of the whole shocking night:

Jessica Sanchez pretends to be shocked when the judges save her.

Apparently Auntee and I aren't two tone-deaf, jealous old biddies with a grudge against a tiny little Fillipino girl and her stage parents after all.  Looks like there are at least a few other people in America who agree with us.  

OR

This whole shocking voting out of Jessica Sanchez is a fix by the producers to guarantee her fans make up for the scare by voting her right into the finale.  

I'm going to go on record right now:  Jessica Sanchez' faux vote-out just secured her a spot in the finale. 
 

As for the non-shocking parts of the night:

1.  MrKK and I laughed through the entire group performance.  They should go back to the lipsynching because it's not supposed to be funny, right?  Oh wait, Seacrest just jumped in, maybe it was all a big joke!

2.  Ryan is drunk tonight.

3.  We fast forwarded through all but 10 seconds of James Durbins' song.  He lost me at the special microphone that made him sound like a machine. 

4.  I love Jennifer Hudson, and I dug her and Ne-yo's song Think Like a Man.

5.  Colton asks for a standing ovation.  And he'll get it next week (JLo: "we haven't stood for you? but you're baby of the week!")

Idol - Making a DVR Mandatory

It's Thursday night, I'm currently recording the results show on my trusty DVR, and I'm fastforwarding through a majority of last night's show.

I just can not commit 2 hours to AI.  Especially when a majority of those 2 hours are excessive clapping/screaming for contestants/judges that I don't like, and/or watching Tommy Hillfiger show contestants closets full of clothes that none of them will ever wear and talk to them about "style" while he's been wearing the same polo and blazer for the past 6 episodes.

Skylar - I loved her take on Kellie Pickler, and the song choice was a perfect mix of jumping-around-country and ballad-country.  

Colton - MrKK liked it, but didn't understand what all the "outside of the box" talk was.  I really like Love the Way You Lie, as originally done, not as Colton done.  

I agree with Auntee that the clip about Elise faux-bossing Phil around isn't going to help her reputation.  Gotye is my favorite right now!  But these two karaoked it.
 
Jessica sings a song making fun of people with speech impediments.  I'm going to hell, but I laughed every single time she sang "st, st, studdering".  I know that's the song, but it was hysterical!  Also, could she get more loungy?  She didn't even get off the piano.  Oh, and OVERSUNG (do I even have to type that each week?  It's just a given right?)  And what's the deal with "feed her hamburgers?"  She's too small now, Akon and Jimmy?  Can a woman not get a break?  Too big, too small, too tall ...  The judges talked to her forever, too.  MrKK left the room, came back with candy, and said, "they're still talking to her?"

Jacob sang some Bruno Mars song that I'd never heard of.  I appreciated him leaving the excessive runs out (it wasn't gospely at all), but it wasn't worth the praise the judges gave him.

Skylar and Colton sing another karaoke duet.  Can't we just cut the show down to an hour?!?

Hollie's adorable parents are back - maybe I'm slap-happy tonight, but should she be singing a song called Perfect when her accent prevents her from pronouncing the word "perfect"?  Not an issue during the song, though, and this was my favorite performance of the whole night!!  She re-did this arrangement, made it her own, tailored it to fit her voice and her style, and I loved it!  JLo says she sung beautifully and that she's rooting for her, but it was a totally backhanded compliment.  Steven and Randy don't know what the hell they're talking about.  Based on this, I already know exactly what the 3 of them will say to Elise, too.


Phil - Shave already!  You look like a frat boy in the middle of hell-week.  Or a hobo.  I'm not anti-facial hair, unless that facial hair looks like pubic hair.  Gross.  His song sounds just like every single other song he's ever sung, but for some unexplicable reason (*the fix is in*) the judges didn't like it this time.


Trio sings.  Nobody says a damn thing about Jessica's pitch issues, shocker.  Also, I would love to take Jacob to a club for a night.  How fun would he be to get drunk and dance with?


Elise tries to sing Haley's song.  Sorry, Elise, it's just too soon and nowhere near as good.  Worst song Elise has ever done, but the judges ate it up (which just confirms that their comments are dictated by something other than the performances.)  Maybe the fact that Jason Segal is a fan will get her some votes.

Bottom 3:  Hollie, Skylar and Elise

Going home:  Hollie, hands-down (unfortunately)

  

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Colton Dixon: He's The One That We Want (Just Ask Him)

So, Nigel is listening to the fans and gave the Idols a current theme to run with this week.  They could sing any song, by any artist, in any genre released in in 2010 or later.  There were no excuses about the limited song choice this week and the judges refrained from criticizing song choice, for a change.   Surprisingly, some of these songs were familiar to me (but if I get the names of some of them wrong...blame it on my closed captioning). 

Idol needs to fill 2 hours at a point in the season when they would be heading toward one hour performance shows because Fox does not have a show to fill in the next slot.  Consequently, the audience is instructed to clap extra long for Ryan as he is introduced.   He tries to act surprised at this acclaim, but you can tell he is faking it.  Tommy  Hilfiger is brought in again to waste some time with a useless segment showing the Idols picking out new clothes to wear for everyday (as they are not wearing TH designs to perform in).  That is really pretty sad, I think for poor Tommy Hilfiger.  He's basically reduced to being their sales clerk and saying *no your butt does not look big in that*.

Then Jimmy is introduced with Akon, of whom I've never heard but he is evidently an icon in the record industry or at least his purposely mispelled name is designed to make us believe he is.  He seemed pretty helpful, actually.

Finally, we get some music from the Idols.  Skylar starts and I'm a little worried at her placement in the program but she does what Skylar does and does it well.  Kellie Pickler's Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You was a good choice for her and she had me believin' the guy was no good and maybe even ran off with her best gun as he broke her heart.  Jimmy and Akon loved her  The judges have been reading the Idol boards or other reports (or maybe Nigel has and has given them orders to at least APPEAR to be fair to the female contestants) and praise her highly.  Steven comes up with not one of the best of his Stevenisms saying the crows crow but the hens deliver the goods.  I think he meant the rooster crows but, bless his heart, his mind does not work the way most of ours do. You can blame drugs, ADHD, genius or all three. 

Colton Dixon enters the mentoring session.  Jimmy tells him he is competing with Phillips and that he needs a moment.  Colton has another song picked out, but Jimmy convinces him to try Love The Way You Lie because (as we all know) Colton has never done an emo love song before and this song will make people realize how great he is. Colton acts like he is uncomfortable being compared with Phillips but finally slips up and reveals what he has been thinking all along:  *One day its  going to be me and Phillip up there and one of us will go home*.  So he is psyching himself up for the finale he knows he will be singing in.  The judges comments were nonsensical.  They acted like Colton had been rocking out to Judas Priest or Led Zeppelin all season ala James Durbin and that this is the first time he sang softly and emotionally and showed his *sensitive* side.  Colton has shown so much sensitivity this season, his ass ought to be in a Charmin commercial.  The only time he wasn't *sensitive* was when he threw his sister under the bus at the audition (no...I have not let that go).  He annoyed the heck out of me tonight. 

Elise and Phillips sing a song I really like by Gotye called Somebody I Used To Know.  Something is up tonight because Phillips wasn't stroked very hard by the judges and they actually seemed to like Elise better.  Of course, the fake video about Elise bossing Phillips around and having to have her way about the song choice is going to do nothing for Elise's reputation as a B among the Colton/Phillips/Jessica lovers.  I suspect there will be two or three threads about it on the Idol boards.

One of the time-fillers this week was a little segment showing the Idol's home town fans making signs and having watching parties and all getting together to cheer them on...putting up signs on buildings...holding pep rallies.  Well, Bibi's hometown is no exception...except apparently the only people who live in San Diego who give a hoot about Bibi are Bibi's large extended family.  Bibi sings a song called Stuttering by Jasmine Sullivan.  I didn't know the song or the original artist.  The only remarkable thing about her performance was she did not sing Beyonce or Whitney.  Of course Beyonce has been having a baby for awhile now and Whitney is well...dead...so perhaps there were no recent Beyonce or Whitney releases for her to sing. On second thought, it was remarkable to me that at moments she sounded eerily like the woman called Erin Martin on the voice who sings like a cat in heat.  The judges praise her highly, Jimmy praises her highly, Akon praises her highly, and Colton is probably thinking *oh...maybe it will be me and Jessica in the finale instead of me and Phillips*. 

Joshua looks very sharp in his white jacket and sings a Bruno Mars song called Runaway Baby.  Fantasia comes on to wish him luck.  It was entertaining.  The judges realize they are about to succumb to deep vein thrombosis and stand up.  Randy says Josh has *got to have it* (we are already sick of this phrase, Randy).  I am amazed at the standing O because while it was enjoyable it was hardly earth shaking (except for the gogo dancer). But, the Idol boards have a term for the judges this year:  the Standing Oafs.  I think the judges proved themselves worthy of that name with this one. 

Colton and Skylar come out and do another country song duet which Colton pretends to complain about.  The chemistry between these two is looking more and more like oil and vinegar but they do fine on the song...Skylar more than Colton.  Although Randy just cannot help himself and takes a dig at Skylar's *pitch*.  Colton has no pitch...all he has is emo gutterals so I guess it would be unfair for the judges to call him *pitchy*.

Here comes Hollie trying once again to make the judges like her and it is a big fail.  She sings Perfect by Pink and the lyrics pretty much tell the story of her Idol journey.  I actually got teary eyed as she sang.  No one knows why the producers and judges hate Hollie, but they do.  I wanted to slap JLo's face when she said *you look beautiful tonight*.  I saw the trashing of Hollie tonight as the judges payback for Deandre's elimination.  Elise is a little too tough for them to take on so lets pick on the sweet young thing who has no confidence. 

Phillips goes into the mentoring session and Jimmy tells him he is competing with Colton for votes and Phillips doesn't really care.  He is singing Give A Little More by Maroon 5 and for the first eight or ten bars he actually sings the song.  Then he reverts to ManBearPig and growls and grunts and oinks his way through the rest of the song just like he has done in the past.  But....shocker...we have a sea change.  The judges have just realized that he does the same thing every single week and that maybe it isn't all that original anymore.  Whether the judges actually thought it was as bad as the rest of America could see it was...who knows.  They may have been ordered to criticize one of the guys to make up for the pre-determined trashing of Hollie. But Phillips is no longer their Prince.  I predict he will be on a downhill slide in their eyes until he is voted off (they hope) before Colton, Joshua and Jessica. 

The three *big voices* do a trio and Joshua outsings the girls...he really is a big ham.  Jessica looks like she is the walking dead...I don't think she likes not being the center of the universe and doesn't take to it well. Holly gives it her all but it doesn't matter anymore for her.  

Finally Elise gets the pimp spot.  Again.  Good for her.  She sings the Gaga song You and I and while not quite the moment her Zeppelin was, it was very good.  If you recall, last season, before this song was officially released, Gaga let Haley perform it.  Haley got trashed for singing an unreleased song that *no one would know*.  The judges give Elise praise but their legs are feeling ok now, so they don't stand up.  

Predictions:  bottom 3 Hollie, Elise, and Skylar or Joshua.  Going home:  Hollie or Elise.  

If you have read my recent post, we have been getting comments from anonymous readers who we don't think we know.  We love that all sorts of people are reading this blog but I had to lay down some ground rules as one comment (which was not published) was so hateful toward certain ethnic and racial groups and contained about every variation of the f word you could dream up, I could not let it stand even though the commenter agreed with me that Bibi is a bore.    

Mr. Auntee pointed out to me that the reason no one is commenting is that no one can figure out how to comment so I put the directions up top for people like Mr. Auntee, who are Mensa members.

One of these days I'm going to figure out how to put a poll up so you all can vote on something!      

   

Saturday, April 7, 2012

A Word To Our Readers

KK and I have been BEGGING for our readers to comment on our posts and the show all season.  We are thrilled that the comments have picked up and are thrilled to have new readers.  However, because we didn't expect anyone but family and friends and friends of family and friends to read this blog or comment, we did not make clear that there are some ground rules for posting comments that we must, in all decorum and common decency, enforce.  Comments will now be moderated before appearing on the site and these are the ground rules. 

1.  We will not post comments which demean a contestant's race, national origin, gender, sexual orientation or religion.  

2.  While mild profanity is acceptable, overuse of profanity will likely result in your comment not appearing on the site.  What is overuse of profanity?  Like pornography, I know it when I see it.  Use it at your own risk.

We have no problem with snarky remarks related to a contestants talent, fashion choices, or song choice. After all, we make those comments ourselves.  We also have no problem with your strong disagreement with our opinions or comments. We have, after all, put ourselves out there and we are both big enough to take the abuse. (We hope you are big enough to handle our replies).

Unfortunately, it is not possible for the moderator (that would be Auntee) to *edit* offensive portions of comments.  So, if you comment does not follow our guidelines, it will be deleted, even if other portions are not offensive and/or contain relevent opinions.

Also, you are free to post as Anonymous, but we cannot distinguish one Anonymous poster from another.  So, if you make a compelling comment we would like to call to other reader's attention, it won't happen if you are Anonymous.  I have tested the comment section and it appears you can use a made up name and do not need to post an email address for your comment to publish.   

 



Friday, April 6, 2012

OMG I can't believe it ...

... is a boy band singing that damn song!!

(What?  You thought I was shocked about the elimination?)

I'll admit, the 1st time I heard I'm Glad You Came, I was annoyed that it rhymed so well.  Then it sucked me in like a vortex.  I found myself jamming to it in the car, and even hoping it would come on.  I was about 45 seconds away from asking MrKK to download "this song about 'hand you a drink, drink it if you can'"

How do you NOT get these lyrics stuck in your head:

Turn the lights out now,
Now I'll take you by the hand,
Hand you another drink,
Drink it if you can,
Can you spend a little time,
Time is slipping away,
Away from us so stay,
Stay with me I can make,
Make you glad you came

I mean the figures of repetition there.  It's catchy, ya'll.  

MrsKK NKOTB circa 1987
And then I see that it's a BOY BAND who sings that song.  I'm not against boy bands.  (See my last post about being a child of the 80's.)  But a woman of my age should not be downloading songs sung by boy bands.  Right?  (MrKK - Can you download this song for me?  I must have it.  I've been singing it all day.)

I also enjoyed seeing Kelly Pickler come back - looking gorgeous after having dropped the huge boobs and 10lbs of makeup she wore in her immediate post-AI success - and talk about "getting hitched".  I really do love a good AI success story.

As for Hair's departure - I've yet to read an AI blog that lauds DeAndre as the favorite.  In fact, the majority of them agree with Jimmy Iovine that the praise he's been receiving (*cough, JLo, cough*) has been excessive and unwarranted.  It was nice to see Jimmy call JLo out on that, and I like to think it came across to her as, "look, if you use the save on this kid, you'll be wasting it because America just doesn't like him that much."


Who would've thought Steven Tyler would be the ONLY judge with a little tact?!?  We know which 50% you think America got right, JLo and Randy, but it was straight up bitchy to look Elise right in the face and say, "we wish you were going home", which is essentially what you did.  


Makes me want to set my phone to redial Elise's number over and over - no matter how she performs - in spite of you.


Speaking of attitude and defiance ... how come when Elise shows a bit of individuality in week one ("I'd rather sing this song") she's marked as having an attitude, and being ungrateful for the opportunity.  Weeks later and she still can't shake the stigma.
But when Phil Phillips reacts to Jimmy's (completely accurate) criticism, with complacency comparable to the track-pants-wearing-Heejun  ("I'm not here to touch hands", "I just want to do music") it's viewed as sexy and unique?  "He's an artist.  He wants to do his own thing."  
Also, he's a good looking guy and Elise is just a catty, bitchy woman. 


I'm at the point in this competition where I'll vote for Jessica Sanchez if she's the last woman standing.  Just because I'm sick and tired of the misogyny and the blatant favoritism for contestants with peni.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Hair Today...Gone Tomorrow

Everyone but Jennifer and Randy saw it coming.  Falsetto is just not that popular with America.  Hair was competing with Joshua for the R&B vote and competing with Colton for the pink cell phone vote and he came up short in both contests.  Sweet kid but it was time to say goodbye to him and his hair.  I really thought Jennifer might convince the others to save him and I think Randy was on board, but Steven was not.  I knew halfway during the song when Jennifer sat there with her arms crossed she was not going to get her way. 

The entertainment tonight was better than the past two weeks with Lana Del Daddy's Money and the Menage woman, but not all that memorable.  J Lo's new video is pretty much soft porn and I wonder what her voice sounds like without autotune.  I still don't get putting the mandatory rapper in the middle of a song but I guess my age is showing.  Evidently, The Wanted is some hot new band.  I had a hard time figuring out who was in the band and who were the backup dancers.  It looked like the band had 16 members at one point.   I don't know why the song So Glad You Came is a hit.  It sounded like this generation's version of bubble gum music to me but as I recall it did not have the mandatory rap thrown in so I will be thankful for small favors.  Kellie Pickler was really sweet with the contestants.  I wasn't watching the season she was on but I gather she got a lot of flack from Simon, in particular.  I'm glad she is a success.  But hasn't she basically remade her face?  She doesn't look at all like she did the last time she made a guest appearance on Idol. 

As we watched the group sitting on the couches before the results were shown, I said to myself:  They put the bottom three in the front.  No surprise on that score either (except to Jennifer and Randy about Deandre). 
I think Jimmy pretty accurately summed up the individual performances.  I'm having a big crush on Jimmy.  I'm glad he somewhat defended Elise. 


There has been a lot of talk about Elise's *attitude*.  After Randy and Jennifer basically said she needed to go when they said *America got it half right*, I cannot really fault her for being a little hurt and defensive.  I think that comment by Jennifer, which Randy echoed, was inexcusable. 

I'm not sure I'm right about this, but just after Ryan said Deandre was eliminated, Elise said *Oh...I didn't get it*.  I think she thought she was eliminated.  I'm glad she wasn't and I'm hoping she comes back next week with a great performance that knocks JLo on her much vaunted behind. 

 



What chu talkin' 'bout, Willis?

I love the 80's!!

As Auntee has alluded to, I am a proud child of the 80's.  I loved everything about the decade - from the scrunchy neon colored socks, to the Aqua Netted bangs, to the music and movies!

Very few of these contestants even understand the 80's.  
None of them appreciate it like I do.
So, last night looks like a bad movie.  But we carry on.

Luckily Gwen Stefani and Tony Kanal are there to keep the contestants focused.

Best to Worst:

Skylar FTW!  Thank GOD she didn't choose 9 to 5.  Had she sung that, I honestly believe she'd be out the door.  The dress was pretty (by AI standards,) and she looked gorgeous.  I had a hard time getting into the song for about the first 1/4th of it, and then she changed keys and smacked me right in the face.  If you had dry eyes at the end of this performance you're dead inside.  (*I sang Wind Beneath My Wings, complete with sign language, to my parents at my 6th grade graduation*)

Phil Phillips - For the 1st time in ever, I get you, Phil.  That's All is a classic 80's song, and Genesis is the epitome of 80's music (*I did a talent show try-out to I Can't Dance*).  I don't know if I was hypnotized by those piercing blue eyes - since they were actually open and not squinty for once - or if the too short guitar strap didn't distract me since he opted to let family do the actual playing this time.  But I liked it.

I will say that he is neither original or unique.  I'm not the only person who has noticed the carbon copy of Dave Matthews.  (I was a Dave Matthews fan in college, they're good.  I get why Phil copies them.  But don't pretend what you're doing is new.)

Baby of the Week - He's only this high because I like Cyndi Lauper that much.  (*I fought with my BFF about who would sing backup in our basement performance of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - I, unlike somebody, actually DID sing to boxes.*)  ANYbody could sing ANY of Cyndi Lauper's songs and they'd be this high on my list.  
 
Flipping the gender on this song is nothing new, though.  It's a straight rip off of Javier Colon from The Voice.  Who, incidentally, did it better. 



Elise - This week was a little rocky for her.  Hallelujah has been overdone on AI since Jason Castro (who, speaking of piercing eyes, is the only contestant to ever do it justice), BUT from the short blip they showed, I think it would've been better for her than Foreigner's I Wanna Know What Love Is.  (*Which was on a mixed tape made for me by my 1st boyfriend.*)  I sort of got a pitchy vibe, too.  And a screamy one (I acknowledge it is a screamy song.)  She looked really pretty though, and she's still one of my favorites.


Jessica - Of course picks Whitney Houston.  Even though she's probably never even seen The Bodyguard (*the soundtrack was my 1st CD*)  Her movements still looked lounge singer-ish, and it sounded like she was screaming most of the song.  I see now why she sticks to ballads.  


Joshua - Aka Jacob 2.0.  I disagree with Auntee completely about his performance.  I think his head is getting too big, he's getting over confident, and he thinks those excessive runs and yelly notes are acceptable under the guise of gospel.  Gwen Stefani straight-up told him that his vocals are too much for If You Don't Know Me By Now (*also on the aforementioned mix tape*) yet he came out swinging.  If Simon were still here he would've called this song, and the screaming at the end, self indulgent.  Amen.


DeAndre - I had to YouTube Debarge's I Like It in the hopes that I'd actually heard the song before and DeAndre was just butchering it beyond recognition.  But nope, never heard it.  JLo notes that the hair swinging shows confidence.  Randy likes how he didn't sing falsetto the whole song.  I feel like we're in bizarro world where we fawn all over a contestant for his hair movements and what he didn't do.


Hollie - Aw, Hollie.  I never thought I'd say this, but JLo's comments were spot on.  We actually CAN see you thinking your way through all of these performances.  Good job not falling down (why do they make the women wear ridiculous shoes?), but that's about it.  What A Feeling is not a ballad.  It's a rock song.  Alex was a welder for crying out loud!  (*I taught myself Flashdance choreography*)


Bottom 3:  DeAndre, Hollie, Elise


Going home:  Hollie