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Thursday, April 26, 2012

Contestants choose ... boring.

Yeah, I said it.  B-o-r-i-n-g.

How can you make a night of Queen songs AND Contestant's choice (which has traditionally been the best night of them all) a snooze fest?  

Hand it to these six.  

Do I have my favorites?  Of course!  
Do I have my nemeses?  You know I do.  
Have I been moved to dial in and vote?  Not at all.

Queen Best to Worst:

Skylar - On Queen night, somebody has to sing The Show Must Go On.  You know there was name calling and hair pulling backstage and Skylar's thick bones won out.  Phew!  Maybe Elise could've sung it, but I not this well.  

Elise - I was totally distracted by the tambourine.  But she held her own against the massive crowd of background singers, which is more than I can say for ...

 Hollie - Save Me was an obvious plea to America to get her away from her stylist who doesn't know the difference between an adorable little teenage girl and a middle aged politician.  She bent over a lot, which I guess showed emotion.

Phillip Phillips - Had an extraordinarily large family cheering section - complete with matching Phil-face t-shirts - for a bunch of people who had to beg for money for airline tickets.  My "memory" of Fat Bottomed Girls was listening to it sung by drunk frat boys 87,000 times/night as I bartended my way through law school.  Phil's version would've fit right in there.  It certainly wasn't any better.

Joshua - Maybe I just don't get it.  He was singing into a CB radio, for crying out loud!

Jessica Sanchez - Didn't the judges JUST talk to her about singing songs fit for a 16 year old girl?  Bohemian Rhapsody is NOT a love song.  Put in as many runs and beautiful (over sung) notes as you want ... but you'll be ruining it.  We've all seen the better version of this song:

Did you really think my post would exclude this screenshot?

As a side note:  Every blog I've read this morning has commented on how Baby Of The Week is the only "rocker" who could've excelled on Queen night (because Elise is a woman, and of course can't be a rocker.)  Really?!?  Baby Of The Week thought Gaga's racy lyrics "alienated his fan base" and got him voted off.  But Queen's lyrics - about killing guys and girls with big asses - those would've been okay?  

Contestant's Choice Best to Worst:

Hollie!  (This is the second time in several weeks she's been up top with an exclamation point after her name!)  There is no question she sang The Climb better than Miley Cyrus herself.  There is no question she picked the right song, and none of the other contestants did.  There is no question that she won this round, hands down.  The only question I have is - if the judges stood for Hollie, and twice for Joshua, then why did they all agree Skylar stole the night, yet they never stood for her?

Phillip Phillips - There are exactly three reasons why he's this high on my list tonight:
1.  I'm a Dave Matthews fan.  DMB reminds me of my college days where I skipped classes, sat on porch-couches, and listened to music while, um, relaxing.  
Copying the contortions, too?
2.  Phil Phillips embraced the comparison and pretty much just said, "you want DMB, I'll give you DMB" and it was equal parts awesome, ironic, and hysterical.
3.  At least 2 of the 3 judges had NO IDEA he'd just sung a Dave Matthews song.  They praised him for "giving it Phil Phillips style", "being a unique artist" when he did NONE of those things.  It was the a DMB song, note for note: Judge for yourself  He should've sung Satellite, Crash, or Ants Marching, which are less artsy and more well known (to tweens) but it was still good.

Mantasia - MrKK reminded me that I downloaded Michael Lynche's version of Ready for Love, back in season 9.  So, it's not the song I don't like.  And Joshua looked super stylin in his leather jacket and scarf.  So, it's not his style I don't like.  Ya know what I think I don't like?  The judges kissing his ass every. single. time. for no apparent reason.  Over it!

Skylar - I've said it a bajillion times (particularly last season when we had country-on-country), but I'm not a country fan.  Never heard Tattoos on This Town, never need to hear it again.  Am I the only one who wanted her to stomp around and throw her hair like the Skylar Laine of yore ("yore" being February)?

Jessica Sanchez - She should've pulled the "my father is deployed" card much, much earlier this season.  Well played.  As much as I tried to hold back, I might have teared up a bit.

Elise - I'm going to admit that I had no idea Bold As Love was a Jimmy Hendrix song.  (I leave knowledge like that up to my hippy sister.)  And I didn't appreciate Elise's comment that "I thought everybody knew that song."  Randy is usually an idiot (his button said "Yo"), but he was right about her song choice.

Bottom three:  Elise, Jessica, Hollie

Going home: Elise