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Thursday, February 6, 2014

If You Wanted It Then You Shoulda Put a Sock in It.

Oh...group night.  My least favorite part of the season.  We saw some drama build up last night and tonight we see the results.  Ryan kept promising we would see  *unforgettable* performances.  Well, I can remember one or two but not for the reason I think Ryan wants us to remember them. 

The first act...Three More Days (or is it Three Mo Days?) is comprised of veterans, including David Oliver Willis (who has a wife).  I cannot remember what they sang but they harmonized nicely and didn't forget the words.  Tony was eliminated for looking at the floor.  I think the judges were a little harsh on Tony given what followed.   Just one comment here.  Can you believe last year's panel ditched David Oliver Willis for Lazaro? 

Up next are three cowboys (I called them that before they did).  I thought they were all great, they worked well together and my only complaint is that they are all going to need major makeovers before they go live.  I'm OK with the plaid shirts (hey it got Phil Phillips the title).  But...Casey needs to get a hairdo that isn't from 1969.  Dexter needs to look like he has recently bathed.  And  Ben, who is there because his wife told him to be, needs to take off that stupid hat so we can see his eyes. Surely if his wife is smart enough to send him to the auditions she is smart enough to tell him to take his hat off.  He is very good but I wonder about his everyday living acumen.

Next was a sort of rush job featuring a few people in various groups.  I don't know if Paula Hunt, the Air Force singer made it through or not.  Brianna Oakley, who was dumped last year did make it through for now. 

My blood pressure has gone up every group night over some villain who unfairly goes through while shoving a member of his or her group under the bus and tonight was no exception.  Spencer Lloyd, who I thought might be interesting to watch from his performance of The Sad Song last night, proved to be this year's villain.  He is an *eligible bachelor*.  I'm beginning to think that Ryan meant to say he is a *confirmed bachelor*.  I have to tell you my gaydar was going crazy.  And not because he apparently hates women.    He treated his group members like they were poo on his shoe.  He picks a song he knows and goes off to *meditate* while refusing to participate in choreography or forming harmonies.   So, they were a hot mess.  Elizabeth over dramatized her solo part enough to get a pass from the judges and they gave Spencer a pass because of The Sad Song, but poor Alyssa went home.  I do not like Spencer.  I hope he fails.  I hope America remembers what a dirt bag he is. I will not let you forget until he is Gone Gone Gone. 

Adam the Sound Healer and Stephanie the cheerleader don't make it through.  You know, they might make an interesting couple.  

Tequila, who I do not think is the second coming of Candace Glover, but who was beginning to grow on me, drops out.  I don't know if she had a group problem or if she just couldn't get with the song selection or if she just couldn't take the pressure.  But I wish she had stayed for at least the solo rounds.  

The next group includes Matthew of no charisma who was my girl Jess's nemesis because he couldn't sing harmony.  His explanation was that Jess was my way or the highway.  I suspect it was that Jess was *may way is the harmony way.  (I almost typed harmonay but that is too cray cray).  Only two emerged from that group (which did not appear enhanced by Matthew's charisma).  Caleb is getting on my nerves he is such a showboat.  CJ Harris made it through which made me happy but I think he made it through on his past performances as Caleb basically took his mike stand and shoved it up his fellow group members rear ends to get to center stage.

Savion somewhat redeemed himself from last night.  I don't know why they sent John from that group home except he has a scary face.

I love Murfaid, the Pakistani.  He is such a good heart, standing up for his sick group member Kenkata or Kenyatta (ok..hereinafter she is *the sick girl*).  They let the sick girl through but dumped the blonde one.  Not sure why because they really showed nothing of that group EXCEPT for the sick girl.  The only thing interesting to me about her is that she was sick.

And finally, my girl Jess's group is up.  I expected disaster and it was nearly such.  Could she have had a song to sing that was further from her musical style that BeyoncĂ©'s Single Ladies?  I expect big mouth Momager chose that song thinking her little baby would nail it.  Her little baby's voice was thin and weak and she showed zero personality on stage.  Jess did her best with a dumb song and dumber choreography and a big mouth momager giving her orders.  And, of course big mouth mama (who was dancing and screaming in the aisles louder than her little baby sang) has to *confront* Jess after the performance and blame her for her daughter's failure.  Big mouth momager's final thoughts *America isn't going to pick her* are sadly probably correct...but America wasn't going to pick her baby either.  (Big mouth momager did not get the memo that Marielle is the chosen teenager this year). Speaking of chosen and coddled teenagers.  I learned surfing the net last night that Amber, who was coddled and praised to a 4th place finish last year, is pregnant (she may have delivered already).  Her baby daddy is featured on his social media pages doing drugs according to a blog I read.  

The last group was so memorable that I forgot to take notes and now I have forgotten who they were. 

Maybe next week we will find out the top 31.  There are 31 because America will get to choose between 2 of them for the 30th spot.  But then are they going to let the judges winnow them down to 12?  Or will America get to vote on the top 30?