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Wednesday, January 26, 2011

O.M G(okey) its Milwaukee

Yes, Danny Gokey is alive and well and in Milwaukee to give moral support to the hopefuls in his hometown. His appearance was blessedly brief.

The show tonight was all over the place..I had a hard time settling on unifying theme and finally gave up. Let us just call it Toddlers and Tiaras, Diamonds in the Rough, Angry Losers, WTH?, Sob Story of the Year and One Very Self-Important Blond.

Toddlers and Tiaras: For anyone who watches this show about children's beauty pageants you know that the judges (who have no apparent credentials to be judging anything) are always looking for the *total package* in the pageant contestants. When JLo mentioned they are searching for the *total package* in an AI contestant I wanted to scream! I don't want a package of anything. I want someone creative and talented and I don't care if they don't have a hair weave and cannot afford to buy the latest clothes. But the theme did not stop there. Ryan's Justin Bieber idolatry has justified opening the contest to 15 year olds who all want this more than anything in the whole world and whose lives will be utterly destroyed if they are not the next American Idol. As a result, they sent through all the 15 year olds who auditioned. We saw two..both of whom were not memorable. Emma from Littleton who WILL be destroyed in Hollywood (and credit JLo for recognizing this fact and saying no) and Thea Magea who does not have the impulse control to wait a few weeks to audition in her own town of LA but has to spend her parents money to fly to Milwaukee because she is just so impatient to prove her talent to the world. Both of these girls could probably get the supporting role in their high school musical and if they had parents with half a brain that is what they would be aiming for now. Are these parents really so much different than the clueless parents who trot out their 2 years olds in $1000 dresses, spray tans, fake nails, hair and teeth so they can win some plastic trophy in a Holiday Inn Ballroom in Little Rock?

Diamonds in the Rough: The 16 year old Scotty with a voice like Randy Travis and Southern manners to boot (I'm not sure he will survive Hollywood but I really enjoyed him); the accountant, Steve Bagoon, who I expected to be a joke contestant but who had a surprisingly sweet voice; and the skinny Gokey look alike who had lipstick transference who JLo pronounced as her *favorite so far* (I would not go that far but I would like to see more of him).

Angry Losers: Well Vernika was the intro candidate for scenes of deplorable behavior by those who have obviously been taught more self-esteem than anything else in life. I am partially tone-deaf with a voice damaged by years of smoking and I really think I could sing that song as well as she did. Evidently, she overheard that JLo was looking for the total package because she decided they didn't like her because she was too fat. Did Randy actually say JLo wasn't thin? Because while I recognize JLo has curves...she is thin! The rest were just badly behaved people no one would want to know in real life.

WTH?: Jerome Bell seems like a really nice guy but I do NOT know why they put him through. I thought he had no subtlety to his voice and Mr. Auntee heard him 2 rooms away and asked me if someone was passing a kidney stone.

Sob Story of the Season: No one is going to match Chris Medina's story...maybe its the sob story of the entire American Idol franchise and you can add So You Think You Can Dance as well. Top 20 guaranteed unless he forgets his words in every Hollywood performance. His voice was above average but not out of this world. Still, I have to admit that cynical Auntee did get tears in her eyes as the story unfolded. Even more sadly, I suspect his devotion to his fiancee will be eclipsed by whatever limelight he enjoys as an AI contender.

One Very Self-Important Blond: She went to Harvard! She works in the White House! She loves Obama! She can carry a tune! I don't like her! If Randy hadn't already smacked her in the mouth, I would have reached into the screen and done it for him.

The only person I could not fit into any of the above themes was Taiwan. I liked him but he is not anything different at this point. I had to wonder about the family dynamics though....just as he is enjoying his moment of glory with his golden ticket...someone in his entourage gets a Charley Horse and demands all the attention. I'm thinking this is the one in the family who makes everything all about her no matter what (every family has one even if you have to go back a generation or 2). So...I sort of have a soft spot for Taiwan although I suspect he is fodder.

At the moment, I am the only blogger. This is because KK is extremely busy right now. Knowing what she is busy with I can only say that she has about 600 more important things to do than comment on AI right now.

And..do I miss Simon? I don't really think so.

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