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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Baby Love!

No..I  have no baby love but the Idol producers are clearly enamored with the young ones after the McCreery/Alaina one two punch last season.  When the oldest auditioner in the first 40 minutes is 17 you know its going to be a long long season.  I don't find these under 18 contestants endearing or cute and in fact find some of them revolting.  Caveat:  I love the real babies in my life but they are not auditioning for American Idol...if they were I would cut their mothers from my will. 

Thank goodness we were spared of too many loser auditions...you know when they show somebody saying *I'm going to be the next American Idol* they are going to stink up the house.  I did get a bit of a kick out the the African Country singer wannabe but he had about twice as much airtime as was necessary. 

Standouts for me tonight in one way or another:

David Leathers (Mr. Steal Your Girl).  I think he will be prominently featured in the Hollywood segments.  I'm not a fan of his falsetto but he seems like a decent enough kid even though at 17, he is practically a senior citizen in the group.

Shannon Mag...something.  Her dad pitched for the Cardinals in a World Series but no one remembered him.  She is very tall.  I thought her voice was OK.  Steven put his foot in it commenting on her hotness in front of her dad.  Very uncomfortable moment. Equally uncomfortable was watching her mother mouth the words and perform behind her like a pageant mom on Toddlers and Tiaras.  You could almost hear her mom thinking *SPARKLE baby!*

Amy from Tennesee who lives in a tent (Hipsy).  I liked her a lot but I'm guessing she will be chewed up in Hollywood by some divas.  Hopefully she will last long enough to make a few bucks and can get out of the tent.  Steven liked her a lot because he is a big Nature Boy and loves the forests.  I know this because I read his autobiography this summer.  (Your blogger is hard at work to keep you readers fully informed of all things Idol...even in the off season).  

Stephanie Renee.  I'm guessing her surname is Crumplebutt or something like that and she is following Alaina's lead in dumping an unappealing name.  I'm hoping she won't be Alaina/Suddeth redux.  At least we didn't see a pageant mom in the backround.

Skylar/Colton.  Poor Skylar.  I really wanted to throttle the judges who fawned all over her brother and treated her like she was a turd in their punchbowl.   I was not overly impressed with either one.  But I get the feeling that Colton is the Kim Kardashian of the family and poor Skylar is the Khloe. 

Lauren Mink.  I was prepared to hate her for her blonde perfectness and her name alone.  Then we found out she has a real job doing real good work and I was rooting for her to sing really well.  I don't think she sang that well, but neither did Gwneth Paltrow when she sang the song in the movie of the same name.

Ashley *Joyhopper*.  I think she is going to get real old real quick.  I predict a major meltdown diva moment in Hollywood.  

WT Thompson.  The rocket scientist who quit his job at a federal prison with a wife who is six month pregnant.  He should have been sent home without a ticket for stupidity and selfishness alone.  And he really was pretty mediocre.  

I really don't have anything to say about Brittany in the skin tight pants.  I hope she disappears so I don't have to think of something to say about her in the future.

The judges loved Phillip Phillips so he will be a big feature in Hollywood.  I thought he was OK.  Maybe you had to be in the room to feel the *electricity*.  

I cannot finish without commenting on the *Steven Tyler is a sex god* segment.  Didn't that woman who called him her future ex-husband look just like Tonya Harding with black hair?  Maybe it was Tonya!  If I were Steven I would worry about her stalking him.  All of those ladies must have missed this photo of Steven, taken on his vacation in Hawaii http://www.tmz.com/2012/01/02/steven-tyler-topless-maui/#.TwKNqfKwUV0 .  Does a lifetime of drug-abuse cause man boobs? 

Well, these audition shows are tedious.  I hope there are some adults auditioning in Pittsburgh.  

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