Well, the judges thought everyone was pooping rainbows and unicorns. But for the rest of America it was, for the most part, a brutal 2 hours. I'm ready for most of these yahoos to take off.
Reed Grim - Takes my 2 year old's favorite song and turns it into something that sounds like it belongs in a porno movie - bow chicka bowwow. Ever seen the horror movie Monkey Shines? Does he not look just like a cymbal playing monkey on those tiny drums?! No, no, no Randy. He is NO Casey!!
Gokey 2.0 - Pulls out the "large black woman"/"white chocolate" self-promotional-label and then sings Aretha. I actually don't mind an emotional man (I like to see a "good heart"), but even I can't get over his sobbing.
DeAndre Brackensick - Bad singer, Good hair. A picture is worth 1,000 words:
Colton Dickson - Certainly didn't "shock" anyone used to seeing him at a piano, and it was FAR from "risky", but it was a breath of fresh air after the 1st 3 guys. Keep it up and I might be able to overlook the fact that he's living his sister's dream.
Jeremy Rosato - I hate to send him back to the infectious disease center so soon, but he's not gonna last. It wasn't terrible, I guess.
Aaron Marcellus - I couldn't get past the silver astronaut jacket.
Chase Likens - Even the judges (who are praising EVERYONE) had a hard time complimenting him on his vocals. They talked more about his looks, because, you know, this competition is about "showing America who you are"?!?
Creighton Fraker - What a weirdo, right? Never in a million years would you think he'd be my favorite of the night! And the judges seemed a bit shocked that he was, huh, pretty stinkin' incredible!
Phillip Phillips - I rolled my eyes once or twice when it started, but I think I might have been captivated by the end, and I think I might like him.
Eban Frankewitz - There are 2 women I'd leave my husband for. Adele is one of them. How dare you, Eban, how dare you. You have earned a spot on my list:
Heejun Han - I think I'm the only person in America who thinks he's more annoying than funny. But damn it, he pretty much killed Angels. Fantastic! (Did J-Lo say, "you can blow"?) How did the judges give HIM, of all the shitty guys tonight, mediocre comments?
Mantasia - How does he have a nickname when this is the 1st we've seen of him? Mr.KK thinks he'll be another Jacob, but we still liked him ... for now. If he starts to dance like Jacob, I'm out.
"Gentle Giant Jermaine" - The nickname really rubs me the wrong way. But it doesn't matter because I don't think he'll be around much longer (even though his song was sweet and his mama hug was sweeter.)