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Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Walk This Way He Jun Don't Be Afraid

I have a confession to make.  I fell asleep (sitting up no less) during House Hunters and didn't wake up until 7:24 pm. I had hoped that we would see a lot of singing tonight as the top 40 sang their last song before the last cut, but as I finally managed to change the channel, I see that they are already doing the *walks*.  For sixteen of these kids, their brief moment of fame is over and they are going home to whatever they were trying to get away from when they auditioned.   They can take comfort in the fact that in a month, no one will remember the names of the bottom 12  of the top 24  and in six months, no one will remember the names of most of the top 12 (and much of America won't even know who won the whole deal).

So, that said, I see from another blog that of the first three up, the only one I remember is Jenn Hirsch.  Unfortunately, the blog was too busy being smart-alecky about her looking like Katharine McPhee (who was forgotten until she started appearing on the show *Smash* a few weeks ago) to tell the reader whether she made it through or not.  I'm thinking not because a) she is not a screamer; b)she is not blonde and needs a serious makeover to meet Idol standards; and c) my earlier sources say she did not.  Too bad, because she was the only one who I found engaging.

The next two who did not make it through, Lauren and some guy.  I don't remember either of them except I think Lauren was one of the ubiqitous blondes.

The first one I see is Josh LeDet. I like Josh LeDet but he may soon make me tired.  I always start out really liking some R&B gospel guy and then he ends up over-emoting and over-selling himself in the performances and I get sick of them.

Two more *who are these people* types are sent home.  Why bother even telling us about them at this point?    

Next up is Haley Johnson (blonde) who also has big breasts. They show her singing a few bars in the Vegas group round with Reed Grimm (I think they mention Reed's name here too so we remember he is a contender) but other than that we are left knowing only that she is blonde and has big breasts.  I'm not going to hold her hair color and breasts against her but she better sing well or she is going into the BBBimbo slot.

Next up are Neco Starr who has a catchy name and River St. James who has a stupid name.  They are both R&B singers but Josh LeDet has that genre covered so I don't even have to watch to know they are going home.

Then we see some poor *who is this guy* contestant fail at his final song in a very embarassing way.  That was actually pretty sad...they could at least have told him he could or could not start over.  

Elise Testone walks in next and we see a clip of her singing *Its A Man's World*.  And maybe it is something about her last name which calls to mind testosterone, which makes me think she is rather manly herself.  She also looks a little *rode hard and hung up wet*.  But, I am not opposed to her alto bluesy voice as long as she doesn't overdo it. 

Ah, finally!  Here is Reed Grimm and the show gets to pimp him (he is slated, I believe, to be number 2 or 3 but not the winner).  They show a replay of his triumphant drum version of Georgia and then show him scatting the final Vegas song.  Does he do more than scat?  Scatting is great...but Reed is making me hate it.  He's trying to out-Casey Casey and we've already seen that show.  

Erika Van Pelt comes up next.  She is not quite blonde and has a big old voice.  They panned her last performance and I'm not sure why.  She also needs a makeover to meet Idol standards and for that reason, I'm not sure Nigel is going to allow the judges to like her enough for her to make it very far.  I am looking forward to hearing her perform.  I think I might like her.

Then the country sweethearts, Chelsea someone (who has brown hair...how did this happen...I bet it gets progressively lighter as the show goes on) and Baylie Brown (who is blonde).  They are pretty but entirely interchangeable country singers and I suppose which one goes the furthest is going to depend on which one gets pimped most by the judges in the early days.

And then..the moment I have been waiting for:  Richie All Hat and No Cattle Law swaggers in.  We are reminded that he has had some personality conflicts with HeJun and Germaine and that he didn't come here to recycle music...he came here to MAKE music.  We see a clip of uninspired performance of *Ring of Fire*.  He cannot even make one of the best country songs ever written for a low voice sound interesting.  He sucks up to the judges saying *how much he has learned* and *how much more he wants to learn* but they aren't having it and he and that stupid black hat go home.  

Ah, here comes HeJun, our comedian.  He is sweating water and wants to hug JLo when he is told no because that is every Asian man's dream.  For the first time (I think) we learn that he actually has something worthwhile to go home to as he teaches special needs kids.  Of course he goes through...they would not have wasted the solid one hour of tape on him in the prior episodes if he wasn't going to make it to the top 24. 

The next contestant, Jessica Sanchez, is not someone I find appealing.  I find it even less appealing that her family of 45 is depending on her to support them for the rest of their lives.  She is a Diva Wannabee and the sooner she is sent packing the better for me.  It appears she will have quite a bit of competition in that genre so she better start working on her personality.  

Phillip Phillips walks in next.  I'm sorry but I don't get the Phillip Phillips Love.  He is a  white guy with a guitar who is moderately good looking.  But he keeps forgetting the words and is voice is nothing special.  He jumps around a bit with the guitar which Randy thinks is *quirky*.  I think its dumb. Inexplicably, he goes through.

For the next 5 minutes, its the Colton show.  We are reminded of the bond he has with his sister Schuyler, we are reminded that he tried out last year and didn't make it. We see scenes of his last minute audition and his stupid hairstyle which he has changed to another stupid hairstyle to be more hip.  We see scenes of him being upset when Schuyler is sent home in Vegas.  And then, as if he hadn't already stepped all over her moment in the sun to get to the top 40, we see him using the fact that he stomped on her dreams as *inspiration* for his final entirely over the top emotive performance of *Fix You*.   I'm pretty sure Schuyler would like to fix him and not in a good way.

Then its the Jersey Shore/Real Housewives of New Jersey duo:  Brielle, who looks and acts like Snookie; and her mother Camille, who looks and acts like Caroline Manzo. We have seen these acts before and it makes us sick.  Go away Jersey girls.  Brielle low sings with no enunciation while Camille worries about her self-tanning lotion and tries to hog the camera.  My only solace about Brielle going through is that surely I am not the only one who finds her unlikeable and that she will go home quickly.

And finally, the cliff hanger.  Will Adam Gokey Brock make the top 24?  He is sobbing about all he wants to do is sing, sobbing about his daughter Whitney, sobbing about his wife and friend and lover Sarah, sobbing sobbing sobbing.  We see him do a final performance which Simon would call *self-indulgent*. I tell myself, he is NOT Danny Gokey.  I tell myself it is NOT his fault that he acts like Danny Gokey.  But I cannot get over it and will never be rooting for him.  Although, if he doesn't make the top 24, I am compassionate enough to hope they have a psychiatrist on hand along with some strong meds to get him on the plane home because I think he might actually chain himself to a slot machine to avoid leaving.

Tomorrow is the final show before we can FINALLY start hearing some music!  You may have noticed that we have added some photos to the blog  (including one of us when we were both having a bad hair day) and will add more as time goes on.  If you like the blog, tell your friends and family about us!  And once again, we welcome comments and hope you sign up as followers if you haven't already!  




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