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Wednesday, April 25, 2012

I'm Mad as Hell Singing F*** the Judges

TWO standing ovations for Joshua Ledet? Ok, he doesn't suck and he seems like a nice guy but this is getting to be a farce.  But America is buying the hype as it appears he is leading the votes on Dial Idol as of this hour.  

It was a decent night for performances, with exceptions.  Queen is not in my *memory song* repertoire so none of these songs had any special meaning for me and some I had not heard until tonight.  I thought it was great the idols got to sing a medley with the Queen musicians.  They seemed really interested in the kids and wanting to *pay it forward*.  Kudos to them.  

Now for the performances:

Jessica starts off singing a completely NOT age appropriate song, Bohemian Rhapsody.  Nothing genuine in her emotions as you could see her thinking *now I'm sad...I've killed a man* and *now I'm mad they are going to kill me* and *now I'm reborn and resigned to my fate*.  Maybe she should have been thinking *mama...I've lost the title*; *stupid voters, I will show you*; and *watch me act confused and helpless America as I am saved by the judge's grace*.  The judges remain seated and compliment her vocal skills.  No one mentions that the song was completely wrong for her.  But, Steven suggests that maybe she cannot sing Rock music and Jennifer sort of agrees so I guess Jessica has to go back to singing the phonebook.  The judges remain seated.

Skylar, comes out and completely slays The Show Must Go On.  I took no notes because I was mesmerized.  Everyone on the boards wanted their favorite to sing this song (I really hoped Elise would sing it).  The judges said it was phenomenal, fabulous, she meant every word.  They remain seated. 

Joshue goes back to singing an upbeat song with A Crazy Little Thing Called Love.  It was entertaining.  He shouted a bit.  He did some sort of slide movement at the end of it which fell a little flat.  I was thinking throughout the song...surely they will not stand for this when they didn't stand for Skylar.  Nope...Randy and Steven are standing up and Jennifer takes her time but gets there too.  And I'm thinking OMG...if he farts Volare will they stand up too?  

Elise sings I Want It All and I'm just wishing she had sung the song Skyler sang.  Steven thinks its great, the judges agree its great.  I wanted more.  Still I love Elise.

Having listened to Jennifer call him sexy last week, Phillips does a tribute to her with Fat Bottomed Girls.  I noticed you could barely hear him sing during the verse where he might have to stay on key because the chorus was louder than him and carried the melody he could not manage to carry.  He then goes into Manbearpig mode and growls the chorus.  Randy is right.  This was not a GREAT performance...except by the backup singers.    I think Randy was being generous calling it good.  The judges do not stand up.

Holly sings *Save Me* and I'm thinking, well at least the judges won't say she lacks emotion as she was nearly bent over with it throughout the song.  I thought it was good, not great, and not up to Skylar's or Elise' performance, but as good if not better than Jessica's performance.   The judges throw water on her and tell her she needs to *let go*; *not let go*; *sing high*; *sing low*; *sing Sweet Chariot*; *just go home already*.  The judges keep their seats.

After the first round, Jennifer says Skylar is the winner and Steven seems to agree.  I agree.  I just don't get why they gave Joshua the standing O and not Skyler and I'm starting to fume. 

 Round 2:  

Jessica has just now inflamed me with rage because she is singing a song that always makes me cry and I don't want to cry when she sings...but I do.  I really cannot blame her for pulling out the *my father is in the service and is being deployed* sympathy card.  I can believe she is a daddy's girl after looking at that mean hatchet faced tiger mother of hers.  Daddy is probably the only one who ever lets her eat.   It was a great performance but the judges...even though Jennifer says she has never heard it sung so well....remain seated.

Now the show is running off time so they don't bother to tell us what song Skylar is singing which is Tattoo on This Town by Jason Aldean.  Steven didn't like it so much but Skylar explains it was for her homey's and I thought it was a great performance and would have been a standout but for the comparison to her first performance.  The judges don't get up.

Here comes Joshua again.  There is no intro to his song but it is not needed as the judges are already standing up.   He sings Ready For Love.  Lots of vocal runs. Jennifer says he focuses the whole room on his performance.  Not me...I'm just counting the seconds until the standing O.  Five, four, three, two, one....BINGO!  

Elise has finally accepted she just ought to do her rocker songs that she does with her own band and I gather Wallace, who accompanies her on Jimi Hendrix's Bold As Love, is in her band.  I agree with Steven.  She needed to do a song more people knew, particularly when they don't even bother to introduce the song or the original artist,  but I think she did a good job and I think Randy is just pissed that Elise had more runs in this song than Joshua did in his.  This was a mixed bag for the judges and they stay in their seats. 

Phillips sings a song by the Dave Matthews Band.  I do not know what the name of it is and they don't have time to tell us.  I am a bit amused that one of the first lyrics is *I am in extreme pain* because that is exactly what he looks like when he is singing every song he has ever sung and as much as Jessica Sanchez gets on my last nerve I have to say she nailed him tonight in her impersonations and saying he turns ugly faces and looks like he is in pain when he sings.  I think she was thinking what I have been thinking all along that there is a major intestinal problem there that goes beyond the kidney stone.  Do you think she has been reading this blog?   Ryan's girlfriend thinks he is yummy.   Steven thinks he has earned the right to take risks and *go alone*, Jennifer is scared because the song is not well-known and he sounded like an asshole singing it, and Randy uses the word artist 405 times in his critique.  Despite his artistry, bravery, blah blah arty farty hes a smarty performance, the judges don't stand up.

Miley Cyrus is a wannabe Lindsay Lohan with a very limited vocal range and only autotune has made it possible for her to have a recording career.  But, The Climb, is an inspirational song.  And I told you all, Hollie is a tough, smart, girl.  With her Liverpool backround (hard knock town) combined with her Texas backround (don't mess with us), she is probably as *thick-boned* as Skylar, if not more so.   So, I cried when she sang tonight.  The judges hated having to stand up for this but they would have been booed to oblivion if they didn't.  Hollie has a lot of fans. 

Its getting harder to predict the third of the bottom three.  I'm going out on a limb and saying Elise, Jessica, and Skylar.  I'm afraid Skylar may be the *shock* elimination tomorrow night but I would hope its Jessica.  And of course, Elise is never safe. 

I would so love to see Phillips, Joshua, or Jessica  go home.  I admit my new aversion to Joshua is based on the judge's absolute pandering to his every move. 


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