Forget about you, you, you, you and you too number 589481.
The show opens with poor Philip Phillips...who I guess had a hit song although I have not heard it but then I don't listen to the radio much. He still is making funny faces. Then the producers trot out the success story that is American Idol (i.e. the 5 or so people on the show who have actually made a name for themselves) in order to contrast it with the Voice and the X Factor and those other shows that are cutting into their demographic and making people bored senseless with the whole concept. It is so obvious that its all about Nygel Lythgoe v. Simon Cowell. Then the judges are introduced as if they are the 2nd coming of the Beatles or something (even Randy)...and its pretty clear that Idol is super pleased with itself for grabbing this group of mega-stars (??) as compared with poor crazy Britney Spears and over the hill Simon. A good 5-10 minutes pass while Idol praises itself and its wisdom in choosing these new judges. And as we go to break we get a glimpse of the point of this whole season: Mariah Carey v. Nikki Menage.
I was prepared to be on Mariah's side as Nikki Menage strikes me as a Lady Gaga wannabe and although I've only seen her perform once, I'm pretty skeptical of her talent for anything but self-promotion and strange outfits and hair. And, I have to say that Nikki was grabbing the spotlight every moment she could tonight. You could see Mariah seething *its supposed to be about ME*. But then Mariah would get in a snide little comment or give her a mean girl look and I'm thinking...they deserve each other and I don't care who wins this catfight.
As an afterthought, the producers brought out some extras so that the judges could show off some more. When Mariah, Randy, and Nikki, finally shut up, we even heard the extras sing a few bars before we got back to the REAL show.
None of the extras (excuse me...contestants) we saw tonight, is, in my opinion, going to be our next American Idol. They threw out the only white guy with a guitar even though he had a compelling back story of being a tap dancer who lost a leg to cancer. I thought his Jason Mraz number was pretty mediocre but when he started singing with his guitar I thought he was as good as Phillip Phillips or that paint salesman named Lee whose last name I cannot now recall and who is presumably back at Sherwin Williams mixing paint by computer...or should be.
There were a couple of women who I thought were fine but they all seemed too nice to actually make it past Hollywood week. The blonde girl who lost a lot of weight is a belter and I will see how she wears on me if we ever hear her again. The hearing impaired girl was, I think payback for the guy with one leg as she was OK but didn't move me. The girl who went to Mariah camp may do pretty well in the competition because she certainly has the drive but why did she show up in her cut offs? Sarah from the farm was cute but not that great either. The poor girl from Israel won't make it far because she is from a politically incorrect country. The final extra, the girl with the big family of foster kis, seems like a real sweetheart but....
Did anyone else think that all the extras were trying to imitate Mariah's style with the melisma and running up and down the scales? Or is it just me being sick of that style and hearing it everywhere even if its not there?
As for the men, the only one who made it through that I can remember now is Frankie Ford from Flatbush who seems like a fine young man.
The poor joke contestants once again did not seem to be in on the joke except for the guy in the plastic suit that made fart sounds when he walked and thrust at Nikki. I did laugh when in a following segment showing all the bad contestants one poor guy actually did fart in the middle of his song giving new meaning to one of my favorite expressions: *He's farting the song*. The poor girl who only sang for her parents was very surprised to be rejected which suggests that she really was telling the truth about no one else hearing her sing before or she surely would not have subjected the whole world to her voice.
But, really, as the preview for tomorrow's show demonstrated... this season is all about the judges. It is going to be one long season as the catfight is already growing irksome. I liked Keith Urban until he said *I don't know what kind of artist you are going to be* and I thought...lose that line fast buddy...it makes you sound as lame as Randy.