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Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Its a Little Bit Caleb and a Little Bit Jena Irene

Does anyone doubt how this season will end?  It will be Caleb and Jena in the finale and Caleb will win because..well..he is a man.  Or maybe Jena will win because after all, Jordin Sparks beat Blake Lewis so lightning could strike twice.   When that happens, you are on your own because I will be too bored to watch and I really will not care.  

I think the producers ought to have given Donny and Marie some credit for the theme.  Probably half of the viewers have no idea where the theme came from because they were not alive in 1976-1979 when the Donny and Marie show aired.  Fourteen year old Marie would come out singing *I'm a Little Bit Country* and then 16 or 17 year old Donny would bounce in singing *and I'm a Little Bit Rock and Roll*.  The show was a big hit with lots of skits and singing and dancing by guest stars in the now obsolete *variety* format.  It was a simpler time.  

So...the theme was co-opted by Idol with no attribution and we get the top 6 doing their best to wow the voters because if you finish in the top 5 you make more money on the tour.  But really, the only two the judges/producers cared about were Jena and Caleb.  They consider the others fodder now and it really doesn't matter to them what they do.

It still sort of matters to me so I will give you MY take on the night. 

Jena starts with Barricuda and the band was so loud and her pitch was so low that I didn't really hear her voice except on the glory notes.  I know she is good.  I know she will be in the top 2.  That doesn't mean I have to like it.  She bores me.  BORES me.  JLo and Keith were bouncing and rockin' away in their seats.  They loved it.  Harry wasn't rockin but he loved it too.  Love love love all around. I'm just glad she went first so I don't have to dread her appearance for awhile. 

Sam sings a song called (I think) Its Time.  He has improved on his connecting and what is not to like about his voice.  Harry says he is blossoming, Keith wants a little more gravitas, and JLo got her goosies.  Once again JLo and Keith cannot stay in their chairs they love it so much.  

CJ Harris sings American Woman.  Oh CJ, I think this might be your week to go home.  It was a serviceable performance but a little slow and very little connection going on.  JLo and Keith were still rockin in their seats.  Harry said it was *pretty good*.   I say CJ better deliver on the 2nd song because this was not nearly a moment.

Alex comes out and does a song I do not know which I think was called Animals.  I thought he sort of threw away this performance and all I could think was *at least it is not coffeehouse*.  Once again JLo and Keith are bouncing away.  The judges were not real enthusiastic about it but they did not trash him.  

At the commercial break I was wondering...*where's Randy?*.  Oh, here he is for a blessedly brief 3 seconds.  

Well, Caleb is the rock star of this group so of course he is going to knock this song out of the park.  The crowd went wild.  Keith and JLo about wet their pants in excitement.   To me it was the same as his other performances.  I missed the part where the standing mic he is always picking up and dragging about like he is the first performer to every think of it got away from him.  I do not really have the patience to look at a replay of this to see it happen. I would only watch it if it smacked him in the mouth.   I don't know the song and didn't bother to figure out the title.  I think one of the lyrics was *Can you stand me*.  No, I cannot stand you.  Maybe those aren't the words.  Maybe I just wanted them to be the words so I could talk back to him.  Arrg.  I cannot say anything nice about Caleb.  Not one little thing.  He is such a parody of himself.  If Phillip Seymour Hoffman was going to play a rocker character with no redeeming virtues, he would model it on Caleb.  Well, if PSH was alive to play a character that is. 

So, I was thinking they finally gave Jessica the pimp spot. But after the Caleb love-fest, I'm thinking they gave her the pimp spot so people can say she wasn't as good as Caleb.  I thought it was one of her best performances.  I love that song. She made a good choice because she is a bit Grace Slick in attitude (she could have had more attitude but she has improved).  The vocals were flawless.  Harry is finally over wanting her to move around and dance.  He was happy with the performance.  Keith and JLo (who all of the sudden became mannequins in their seats during this performance) focused on what she did wrong and not on what she did right. 

OK...now for the country part.  Really, country should have gone first because for the most part, the rocker part was the best part of the show.  

Sam breaks some hearts with Your Still the One.  He is showing one or two facial expressions besides fear.  According to the judges he is a walking miracle of transformation and growth.   He was fine.  He didn't melt my heart but I'm not easy. 

Ryan is holding Grumpy Cat.  Caleb kisses Grumpy Cat on the head.  Hah...I bet Caleb hates cats. Nothing he does is not a show.  He sings Undo It by Carrie Underwood and turns it into a rock song.  He hangs on to the mic this time.  Blah. 

Alex sings Willie Nelson's You Were Always On My Mind.  One of Willie's very best (his very best is Crazy).   I loved the first part when Alex sang it pretty straight, just a little slower tempo.  I didn't love the frills he added.  Willie doesn't do frills and the person conveying that message wouldn't do frills either.  Alex's voice was good.  He will go home in 3rd place.

Here comes Queen Jena Irene singing So Small by Carrie Underwood.  Blah.  Harry didn't like it.  I almost forgive Harry for putting that girl on his shoulders now.  

CJ sang a song called Whatever It Is and whatever it was was pretty horrible.  I couldn't understand too many of the words and basically, he should go home because of it. What a wasted opportunity.  He should have sung Crazy.

I was really worried when I read that Jessica was singing Jolene.  That song has been the death of some of my favorites.  Simon crucified Brooke White when she sang it.   A lesser known contestant called Alexis Grace sang it and I believe was sent home the next night just missing the tour.   I think Jessica finally hit a home run on this one despite Keith hating the arrangement.  I am not musically sophisticated to know how the arrangement was changed (something about the 1/2 time?) but I loved it.  It WAS dark.  It should be a dark song.  Some poor woman is losing the man she loves to a vixen.  I think Jessica will be safe.  Which reminds me.  I need to go vote for her.  

So...not a bad show tonight.  I'm so grateful my head has finally gone back to normal and I could somewhat enjoy it (well except for the Jena and Caleb parts).  

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