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Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Kind of a Drag

Oh these auditions are so tedious! Tonight in Minneapolis all I could think of was fodder fodder everywhere. Everyone who got a golden ticket was so excited--as if they had already had the confetti drop--and my guess is that unless one of them turns up their game significantly, they are going home from the hangar before they see the Hollywood sign.  

First up was Shannon, age 17, who has never sung in front of people before.  She sang House of the Rising Sun in an imitative way--but not good enough for me to tell who she was trying to imitate.  I thought it was shouty and all the melisma and growls she threw in just made it sound corny to me.  But the judges said she had raw talent.  I wouldn't call it raw because in my opinion it was half-baked and I will be surprised if the heat of Hollywood makes it rise.  

Then comes the guy with the golden microphone, Kamil Casey.  He is a nerd.  He cannot sing.  He can dance poorly.  He didn't go through.

There was a montage of women with guitars and maybe one of them had some talent but they must have all been over 23 because we didn't see any of them featured.  

Vanessa who is in love with Keith but smart enough to brown nose JLo and Harry too, was my favorite of the night.  Her husband is in the air force and she has 3 kids at home including a 3 month old baby.  I don't know if we will see her face again.  She seemed a little too sweet for Hollywood but again...she had her suck up stories down pat so maybe there is more to her than it appeared. 

Zach sang with a country accent even though he doesn't speak with one and that bothered Harry.  He was likable enough but nothing all that special in terms of talent.  He did get to sing at Keith's concert in Minot, SD so this was not an entirely wasted exercise for him. 

I missed the audition of Aaron from the Iowa coffee houses.  I'm half sorry I did because I don't think we will see him on our TV again unless he is boarding the bus from the hangar.

The hunting fishing gal, Cindy Jo, (yes she has no last name because she is going to be a STAR and doesn't need one) is 26 years young.  JLo began planning her next video in her head at that point.  Harry was worried that all of the gun stuff was fake.  She shot a bear with a bow and arrow which is impressive but she murdered Crazy.  I don't know why they put her through because as much as I hate to agree with JLo, Cindy Jo won't be needing that stage name any time soon. 

The audience gets to guess whether Matt with the long hair and the bad voice goes through to Hollywood.  I guessed no.  I guessed wrong.  I'm beginning to think I'm crazy but please don't let Cindy Jo sing it again.

The Vegas guy, whose name I didn't catch, basically does the performance he never gets to do in Vegas because he is an understudy for the Jerry Lee Lewis character in a Vegas show called the Million Dollar Quartet.  He can play the piano.  He can imitate Jerry Lee Lewis.  That wasn't selling so he did another song and went through.  I thought his voice was sort of thin.

Hannah with an unpronounceable last name is a 16 year old belter.  If she makes it to the top 24 (and she might because she is 16, pretty, and belts) I'm pretty sure she will lose the last name.  This trend was started by Megan Joy, followed by Lauren Alaina (whatever happened to Lauren Alaina?) and followed up by Jena Irene (who as you recall, is dumping Irene and just going by Jena now that she has a platinum album--wait..she doesn't? )  

The final guy was Matt Andrew who seemed genuine enough.  He does have a distinctive "tone" to his voice.  JLo really liked it.  I liked him (but lose the stocking cap please) but not his tone that much.  

So...New Orleans is up next.  I love New Orleans.  If only they would just show Harry in a bar singing and playing with some local musicians for the whole episode and ditch the auditions, I would be happy.  

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