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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Fly Simon To The Moon!

Well, first let me say that I had a lovely day today and had absolutely no inclination that I was going to turn into a bawling idiot 15 minutes into the show. Second, let me say that Simon is a dishonest ass and should be flown to the moon and left there after his comments tonight.

OK, I was prepared to be very critical of Jamie Foxx as the mentor for Rat Pack week. What the heck does he know about the Rat Pack? He played Ray Charles in a movie but Ray Charles wasn't in the Rat Pack. Yes, Sammy Davis Junior was black and so is Jamie Foxx but Sid Vicious was white and so was Frank Sinatra so where is the connection? I didn't know that Foxx is a classically trained musician. And, despite my initial scorn, I thought he did a great job as a mentor tonight.

I was born too late. I should have been a young adult in the late 1950's and early 1960's when people went to nightclubs and drank martinis and listened to big bands and danced and men lit your cigarettes for you and you wore dresses with full skirts and petticoats and big collars and rhinestone buttons and perfume. And FM shoes. Instead I ended up in beer joints wearing overalls and a tee shirt and navigating my way to the bathroom between puddles of spilled beer and pee or wearing polyester pants and shiny polyester tops drinking pina coladas at some disco bar where strobe lights and the over loud bass amps gave you a migraine. And no one ever lit your cigarette let alone danced with you.

Ok, thats a lot about me but just trying to give the backstory for my complete emotional breakdown tonight.

My judgments in inverse order of praise.

I don't care what Simon said, Matt stunk the house up. I think the reason Jamie had no comments for him initially is that he saw no hope for Matt's murderous renditon of that classic. I think Jamie hoped he would be on key if he changed the key. Matt was not. It was breathless, off melody, off key, off everything. Notes and riffs all over the place like always. He may have had emotion behind it like Simon said. But *it* stunk.

I so wanted Danny to sing Volare, but alas he didn't follow my advice. HIs 24 hour *meditation* on Simon's comments that he was clumsy last week led Danny to conclude that he should probably stand still this week. He does the usual Danny stuff starting slow and mournful and then breaking into the big screamer notes at the end. Kara could hardly restrain herself. He started doing his emotional hand stuff at first but then stopped himself. The audience loved him and Danny showed how much he loves the audience by clapping for them because they clapped for him. Such humility. And a dead wife too. Well the majority of Americans are suckers. The last election proved that.

My new best friend Adam disappointed me. Not because he did a bad job but because h e didn't do a better job than last week. He seemed a bit off tonight. I didn't much like the song and don't associate it with Rat Pack but I may be ignorant about that. I expected something more unexpected. Still, for the first time, I saw the fat red-headed freckled face little boy within and I'm rooting for him to vanquish the evil Gokey.

Kris was so reminiscent of Sinatra tonight it gave me goosebumps. Not that he was imitative of him. But lets face it, Sinatra did not have a great voice but he had a good voice and exquisite phrasing. Kris gave me goosebumps in the first 3 bars. Damn that stupid random falsetto note. Without that, his performance would have been perfection for me.

For the last 2 weeks, I thought Allison had been singing songs too old for her. Who wants a 16 year old to sing about needing *hot stuff* tonight? Many on the idol boards wanted her to sing Stormy Weather. Like she can relate to some old jaded alcoholic broad whose abusive husband has left her for the umpteenth time. You will not believe me but I actually did post on those boards that I wanted her to sing *Someone to Watch Over Me*. To verify this go see what tee70 had to say about what she should sing.

So this is the performance that made me bawl. It may have been the Chinese food I had tonight which I'm sure was loaded with MSG. Or it may have been Jamie suggesting that Allison think of her family when singing it. Or it may have been the chardonnay I found when cleaning out my car earlier today.

Jamie earned his mentor pay by telling her to think of her family and not some boyfriend. And then, of course, I started thinking of mine, specifically my daddy, and then I started bawling. She did it Allison's way and boy if she goes home tomorrow because of Simon's comments I will be pretty ballistic. But if she does go home tomorrow, that should be her signature song on the tour. The best she has ever done in my opinion. I've watched Idol for 3 years and never bawled like I did tonight during a performance.

I really think it was the Chinese food.

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