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Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Paula's new book of quotations ...

Paula clearly got one of those books filled with inspirational quotes. And she's now using it, instead of actually, you know, JUDGING. So, I will take a cue from her handbook ...

Again, in order from best to worst - in my opinion:

Anoop - The road was long and windy, but you have finally emerged into the sunshine. Your future is filled with many more trips towards the glorious reward. (Translation: best performance of the night. where did this kid come from. I think I hated him before but now I love him.)

Allison - The wisdom in your eyes shines forward making all those around you forget your youth and love you for your radiant talent. (Translation: you're so good, but I worry about you because you went first and for some reason you've been in the bottom 3 several times. I really hope you'll stay and I'll bet the judges would save you.)

Kris - You have emerged from the darkness and have shown those around you the light. (Translation: I don't know if it was his best performance, but I liked that he finally put down the guitar and I think it took some guts to sing a song that nobody has heard. and I really dug it.)

Matt - You must find yourself before you can truly recognize that which will make you happiest. Search deep, you have been on the right path before. (Translation: what are you doing. can you go back to the Matt that sang Let's Get It On and The Frey, and stop trying to sing falsetto, because you're not good at it.)

Danny - You must refuse to let your past misfortune rule your life. You will never be able to grow and change unless you look foward, not back. (Translation: every song sounds the exact same. every. single. song. start low/slow and pitchy, rev up, get gravely, start yelling. and never let them forget your wife is dead. even when you suck, Simon will give you props because it must have been hard to sing about her.)

Lil - You've been dealt a harsh hand and struggled to overcome. Sometimes in life, you must recognize unfruitful ventures so that you can be successful in the correct arena. (Translation: I think you're awesome, and you'll have a good career. american idol wasn't your bag, unfortunately. and talking back to the judges sealed your fate - did you forget Meagan Joy)

Adam - Keep dancing and screaming, some will think you're a complete fool, but somebody somewhere likes you no matter what. (Translation: WTF. I hate that this kid is going to win this show. he's just awful in too many ways to express.)

Who will REALLY be in the bottom three?? Matt, Anoop, and Lil. Maybe Allison.

I'd pay money at this point to see Adam or Gokey knocked down a peg. Just once, that's all I'm asking.

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