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Monday, May 4, 2009

A ha, ha, ha, ha!!!

Dear Coke and Ford,

I am a 13 year old emo with black fingernails and jeans that are 6 sizes too small. I've been growing out my bangs for 3 years so that they cover my face completely and nobody can see my eyes. And I only shower every 6 days so that my hair-grease is perfectly shiny, and I make sure to reapply my guy-liner 16 times a day. I usually write only dark poetry about cutting myself, but today I feel I must write to you.

I am writing because I think American Idol is mean to Adam. I am asking you to pull your Ford video and Coke cups from the show in protest.

They made Adam pick sides!! It was awful!! In that intense situation, it would have been impossible for him to do the math and realize that, with 2 on each side, he was in the bottom 3 no matter what.

I'm positive that Adam is not embarassed about the 6 pounds of make-up he wears each show, or that his tongue is creepy and white when he sticks it out to yell, or that his pants are so tight you can see his underwear lines on national TV. I'm also sure that none of the Broadway costumes that Adam has worn in the past were embarassing. But he had to be embarassed about this!

In Adam's name, please give up the millions of dollars your sponsorship of the show probably earns you annually.

Deepest appreciation,
13 year old emo kid

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