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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Havin'' My Baby

Wait! BM didn't sing Having My Baby? He sang In the Ghetto instead? At least he got in something about mamas and babies! Whew! Vote for BM or his little baby will grow up in the ghetto angry and steal your car and then die in the street in a shootout with the police! And his mama will cry. To be honest, I missed BM's performance. I don't know if the judges praised it or not. How could they not praise him after saving him last week. If they said he stunk tonight they would look like idiots.

The news that Adam Lambert was to be a mentor this week brought out 1500 plus replies on the official AI message board. I'm sure the producers did it solely for ratings. And, of course, we have to have Elvis week because Adam is so very much like Elvis! Not. I didn't hate Adam Lambert. But America didn't love him enough to make him their Idol last year so I'm wondering if more people are watching the results show of Dancing With the Stars so they can see if the world's worst mother gets voted off (sorry KK...but I have come to loathe Kate Gosselin and her fame whoring). Whether Adam was a good mentor or not is hard to tell from the clips that they showed. The idols said he was on Facebook but they may have just been sucking up to the Adam fans.

After the high of the Beatles last week, we are now back to normal which is that the only one who gave a memorable performance is Crystal. I'm like Ellen. I have run out of things to say about her. She is uncanny in choosing songs that suit her voice and then just nailing them.

OMG Andrew...you take one of Elvis's signature songs and turn it into a snoozefest. Adam told you to pick up the beat and you seemed to slow it down instead. Straight Up is oh so far away from you now Andrew and you are the hound dog. Adam said to show some energy and you tried to move around the stage but you just looked like a REALLY bad Elvis imitator. Cornball.

Tim Teflon Urban smiles and smiles and Can't Help Falling In Love and wants us all to know that he knows what falling in love feels like. He has now gone from zero to hero in Simon's view. It was ok to me. I bet he buys another week with that one though. Those little pink cell phones are blasting away with votes for Tim! This kid is dumb like a fox. He has Ellen drinking tequila shots and switching teams! A few more weeks of singing songs about love and Tim may actually WIN this thing!

Lee sings A Little Less Conversation and I thought it was marginally better than OK. I don't much like the song itself. Randy says he is in the zone. Lee attempts to infringe Tim Urban's patented smile but doesn't quite make it.

Aaron is going to sing a fast song. He takes on the 2nd signature Elvis song, Blue Suede Shoes. He is not smart enough to actually WEAR blue suede shoes which would have made his performance visually interesting at least. The judges are way tired of Aaron. They are bored with him. So are we. At this point I am losing interest in this whole production.

And now...what we have ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! Siobahn meets Adam Lambert. W0OHOO! What will these two icons of originality (that is if you didn't live through the 80s) have to say to each other! Turns out not so much. Siobahn starts out slow on Suspicious Minds after Adam told her to pick it up....then she starts singing loud...then she goes for a high note and ......wait for it....the SCREAM! Randy and Ellen only liked the 2nd part. Kara is still confused. Simon said it was erratic and screechy! Maybe she isn't the 2nd coming of Adam Lambert after all! She looks pretty unhappy and tells the judges she doesn't label herself and they shouldn't either. She didn't tell me not to label her so I will. She is banal. Siobanal.

Katie is frustrated with the judges and she wants to throw a little ladylike tantrum about it. She enters through a backdrop of orange and black flickering screens designed to induce epileptic siezures. I don't even remember the name of the song. Simon called it loud and annoying...I agree. Fortunately the show is running late so we don't have to hear the argument about what kind of artist she is supposed to be again. If Katie thinks SHE is frustrated with the judges, I am frustrated with the judges judging Katie. She is NOT that special so quite wasting air time debating her mediocrity.

Casey gives a solid performance of a song I do not now recall either. I lost interest in this show after Siobanal. He was fine. He was Casey.

Who should go home? BM because America spoke last week and I'm sick of him. And Andrew.

Predictions? BM guilted America into voting for him this week so he will stay. I'm betting Andrew and Aaron.

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