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Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Conspiracy Theories Abound

Producers, for the 1st time in the history of American Idol, have just gone ahead and taken blatant control of eliminations.  Pro: tweens opinions don't count.  Con: producers pander to tween opinion.

The tweens may not be on to you, but I am.  

Whitney comparisons:

Elise Testone - Was probably saved by Jimmy Iovine's song choice, even though she got all bitchy about his suggestion.  I'm Your Baby Tonight is not an easy song (it has about 27,000 words), and Elise's voice is unique enough that it didn't sound like Whitney (which is good.) 

Erika Van Pelt - It might've been okay, but I couldn't get past the prom dress.  Judges liked it?  Huh.

Shannon Migraine - Of course you're singing I Have Nothing.  We've seen your house, sweetheart.  What's with the random growling?  And that "close" note that Mary worked, was butchered.  Like the whole rest of the song.  Shocked that the judges actually gave honest critiques.

Skylar - Why do I love this girl so stinkin' much?  She's just so cute!  I want to put her in my pocket (there's still room next to Tim Urban), so I can take her out and have her sing me to sleep at night.  Skylar makes me want to pull out my phone and push redial over and over and over.  

Hollie - She's got a huge voice for such a tiny little thing, doesn't she?  It's probably hard to compete with Skylar's addictive personality, but she's better than any guy I heard all night.  

Jessica Sanchez - And there it is.  I Will Always Love You.  Jessica and Migraine probably fought over this one, and Migraine lost.  (Thank God for that.)  I want to hate this girl, irrational as that is.  But damn it, she was sick.  Can't find one. single. thing. wrong with her tonight.  Vocally, she was the best of the night.  Hands down.    
 Stevie karaoke:

Joshua Ledet - Huh, I stand corrected.  Stevie doesn't necessarily provide a slam-dunk.  Joshua managed to ruin I Wish (what part of Mary J. Blige's "don't sing it" did he not understand?)  Judges rub his shoulders with lavender scented oils.

Gentle Giant - "I don't want to bore you with my troubles" ... so I'll just bore you with this song (bad joke courtesy of MrKK).  Zzzzzzz.  Does NOT Knock Me Off My Feet.  Judges feed him grapes 1 by 1.

Colton - Jimmy's advice, "rely on your vulnerability" (and the producers' fix *wink*)  Lately I've been bored, so bored.  Judges send him on a beach vacation with umbrella drinks.

DeAndre - Maybe it was just because I wasn't distracted by his waving hair, but I caught myself jammin' on my couch once or twice.  Judges braid his pretty, pretty hair.

Heejun - Should've spent more time working on his song and less time being funny.  Was it horrible?  I guess not.  But then again, I think I fell asleep in the middle of it.  Judges whisper sweet nothings into his ears. 

Jeremy Rosado - Barely squeezed into the Top 13 last week, so he really needed a big night.  I'm sure he'd be fun to hang out with, he's so sweet and genuine.  But he struggled with Ribbon In The Sky.  Judges cook him a lobster dinner.

Phil Phillip Phillipson - Figures that Phil gets the pimp spot.  He took on my favorite (and most well known) Stevie song (also probably the most covered and easiest Stevie song - lob ball) and didn't ruin it.  It was NOT David Cookified, but it was a fun ending to the night.  Judges build him a pedestal of gold and carry him to the top of it.

Note to the judges and producers:  The girls took on Whitney and they smoked the guys.  This is a GIRLS season.

Bottom guy:  Jeremy or Joshua
Bottom girl:  Elise

Going home this week:  Jeremy

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