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Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Colton Dixon's Bad Romance In September Has Him Rolling in the Deep Doodoo.

Oh what a night... tributes, drama, reverse psychology, lies, anger, exuberance, two songs each,  and a sick dog all combined in 2 hours of Idol tonight to make my head spin.

The show begins with a replay of the Jessica is SAVED drama.  We see lots of poignant shots of her crying and looking sad and forlorn.  Feel sorry for her audience and vote for her this week.  

Then Ryan pays a tribute to Dick Clark, who should be Ryan's Idol (and probably is).  Dick Clark seemed to never age.  We all got wrinkles, grey hair and pot bellies but until he had his stroke, he seemed to still be a young man.  Young people will not remember American Bandstand but it was must see TV in the after school hours for teenagers of my generation.  We copied the hairstyles, the dances, the clothes, and learned what 45 records to buy to play on our mono record players. Not that in my house we could afford to buy very many of them.  I'm thinking that back then a 45 with an A and B side (that means 2 songs) cost $1.00.  About the cost of a download now.  Someone correct me if I'm wrong.  He just always stayed young at heart.  I bet he had Gaga and Adele, and Usher and even Nicky Menage on his Ipod when he died. 

As I predicted, Hollie goes first.  Like KK, I expected Rolling In the Deep to Be a disaster but she was clever and started with the big chorus which I think got her on key and into the groove.  She did great.  The judges said she did great.  But, frankly, I thought she has been doing nearly as great the whole season.  I'm convinced the judges were using reverse psychology.  Knowing that trashing her last week led to a backlash of votes for her, they are complimenting her this week so that people won't vote for her instead of Jessica.  Hah!  Won't work.  Unlike KK, I am not a fan of Son of A Preacher Man but she belted it like no tomorrow and good for her.  Maybe not being in the bottom three gave her some confidence that America likes her...they really do!   I loved the Liverpool Football Club coming on to give her a boost.  I'm not sure how she will fare this week but I don't think she will be going home.

Colton gets the death spot.  Probably because they know the girl vote is going to keep him around no matter what.  Colton appears to know this too as his first song, Bad Romance, is just stupid.  He is wearing some sort of jacket with tails on it and dancing around the stage trying to act like he is a rocker.  He looks like an organ grinder's monkey.  His key is too low to start and he never really gets to the highs.


Then he sings September by Earth Wind and Fire and really is rolling in a deep pile of excrement by the end of it.  The verses are once again too low and they are flat.  He is sleeping through the song and I'm thinking that with that attitude he is lucky to keep the girl until noon on September 1.  The judges actually acknowledge he is not perfect.  KK has addressed the appearance of his sister Schuyler.  Perhaps he has been reading the very few comments about him being an ass for taking her chance away from her.  I predict there will be huge sibling warfare in the coming years and probably a legal proceeding in which they battle for their parent's worldly goods upon their demise.  Schulyer will get screwed out of the china and crystal, you just know it.

I would rank Elise's performance of No One higher than KK but I haven't heard my other favorite niece sing it.  The judges liked it well enough.  Ryan asks her why she is emotional and she says her dog is dying.  Now normally, I would find this pandering but I'm thinking go for the dog lover's vote here girl!  You are way underrated and anyone else would use it so you go for it!  I think she did oversing Lets Get It On..she could have left out some of the runs and trills and just done it straight.  She didn't give any room for our ears to *rest*.  However, I do not agree she shows no emotions when she sings.  I think the judges were just looking for something to trash her for so she won't get more votes than Jessica and pulled out the *emotion* card since they couldn't use it on Hollie  week what with the reverse psychology game they were playing. 

Phillips is doing something different this week since last week they said he was sort of in a rut.  He does Usher's You Got It Bad (I am not familiar with this song) and says he is going to be intimate.  From the judges comments, I gather this was an *arty* version of the song.  I say arty farty as he always looks like he is clinching his sphincter muscles to hold something in.  He starts off singing but halfway through manbearpig comes back and he just growls the rest of the song.  I didn't even notice he didn't use his guitar on Midnight Hour.  The judges loved it.  For me it was just more manbearpig.  JLo liked his dance move...and wanted to know what to call it.  I call it *my kidney stone hurts and I need to defecate*.  He would have brought down the house on American Bandstand with that move!  I'm still unimpressed. His weird faces remind me of the crazy sociopath in slasher movies. He gets a standing O for the first song, I believe.

Ah, and now comes the precious, beloved, adorable, Jessica Sanchez.  Talk about an *attitude*.  When the 7 were introduced at the first part of the show she stood there all morose and pouty.  I guess she will show US!  
After a prolonged mentoring session with Jimmy (coddling her like Lauren) she sings Fallen by Alicia Keys.  Like Hollie, she starts with the big chorus then she adds some growls like Elise.  The judges fawn all over her again but there is no standing O.  Then, she comes out and sings *Try A Little Tenderness* as if she is going to rip the entire voting American public a new lower orifice for rejecting her.  I'm sorry...I didn't realize this song was an angry song.  The judges talk about her emotions too.  I think she was emoting just fine tonight...she is PISSED OFF at being eliminated.  She then lies and says she thought the judges *didn't like her*.  Oh please.  I vowed not to be so mean about her this week but the big lie just is too much for me to ignore.   

And then comes our little dark horse Skylar.  This girl can PERFORM.  She just takes over the stage and it doesn't matter what theme they give her she kills it.  She will be my new favorite when Elise goes home.  I loved her take on *Born This Way* and I was glad Gaga did a country version of it so that Skylar wouldn't get trashed for making it country.  I also loved Heard It Through The Grapevine.  This girl is going to be big.  

Joshua, oh Joshua.  Of course he is going to sing Fantasia's I Believe.  He gets a standing O.  Do they just time his performances for the judges'  Deep Vein Thrombosis break or do the judges really want to stand for him each time he appears.  It was fine.  Not memorable.  Not a moment.  Not a standing O moment.  Then he does A Change Is Gonna Come and he deserves all the praise he gets for it but perhaps not the standing O.  The last time I recall hearing this song sung on Idol was when Sayesah Mercado sang it and explained she identified with it because  her journey on Idol was like the Civil Rights Struggle of the 1960's when marchers were being beaten with billy clubs and had fire hoses knocking them down and churches were being bombed and voting registrars murdered and men hung from trees. (You can see why I still don't like Sayesha).  But Joshua really was probably born on a river and if not in a tent in a bayou shack.  So...I was moved by his rendition.  I get angry at the judges for pimping him so much...but truth be told...I like him, I really do.

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Predictions on bottom 3:  Hollie, Elise, Joshua.  I think we will lose Elise this week. 





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