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Wednesday, February 5, 2014

A Town Without Pity

*Two Hundred and Twelve Hopefuls* arrive seemingly en masse and are taken to the Hanger of Hell.  Under orders to pare the field, the judges ask 52 to audition again...in front of their fellow competitors.  Thirty Two dreams were shattered.  I don't know if the judges actually reviewed the audition tapes again or if they just chose the ones who didn't get a unanimous vote at the original auditions but we are treated to a group of the perceived weakest links.  The only 2 who were memorable were the Sound Healer, Adam Roth and Christiane, or as I like to call her Tatiana redux.  Harry and Keith found Adam as radioactive as his song but evidently JLo prevailed on that one (or it was a trade off for some pretty girl JLo didn't like but Harry or Keith did) because he gets on the bus to the hotel.  Christiane on the other hand, fails memorably, with Harry or Keith saying *she is in love with her own voice* and JLo not caring because its one less pretty girl to deal with.  As you recall, Christiane, like Tatiana of Simon's last season, had a come and go accent.  Tatiana had none when she auditioned but when a Puerto Rican guy came on and got some raves, she suddenly had a PR accent too.   She only knew one Whitney Houston song, made a mess of her group on group night, but got surprisingly far for a mediocre drama queen fraud.  Christiane, thankfully, was sent home before she saw the Hollywood sign.  

After the group is down to a more manageable number, we get the preliminary eliminations.  This is where we see who the producers want us to like (or maybe we see those who will be in the finals..hard to know).  I must say that it is nice to see at least the appearance of the judges actually making decisions.  Last year I think they got handed a sheet of paper by the producers and just mouthed the decisions.  And even though its the preliminaries, its pretty clear the male talent pool is vastly superior to last year's pool which confirms the conspiracy theories.   

I'm going to talk about the ones who impressed me one way or the other.  I'm not even going to look at my cheat sheet to see if they make the top 31. 

Spencer Lloyd sang what has become known on the net as The Sad Song (Say Something) and does it well.  I don't know...he may be a force to be reckoned with.  A video of a toddler in his car seat crying through this song has gone viral.  He called it the sad song and so it is.  

Bria screamed impressively and was cheered on by her momager (I wonder if she is the same momager who is bothering my girl Jess Muese during the group night drama?)  I don't like her much.  She is good but nothing new or special. Just another Diva wannabee.  

Selena, the twin who made over her sister Sierra, has a meltdown but makes it through miraculously.  She seems nice enough but I don't like her voice that well.  It just sounds like cheese to me...very hard cheese on a grater. 

I'm starting to be really fond of CJ Lewis, the black sort of country singer who sang Trouble.  

Alex *I'm impressed with myself* Preston makes it through much to my dismay.  He tries too hard to be arty and different.  He holds his mouth funny at times.  Sort of purses his lips like a fish.
I'm pretty sure I'll have LOTS more to say about him down the line. 

I like Maurice Townsend and his little kids.  I'm not so fond of Casey/Jason (???) Thrasher (really...I think his name is Casey...Jason Thrasher would be just too Friday the 13th) and his little kids but I was impressed that he sang the old George Jones' standard *He Stopped Loving Her Today* and he was much better than I remembered him being in his audition.  I just wonder what the story is with his baby mama. 

Two young girls impressed me because they were not diva wannabees nor were they pageant clones like Angie Miller.  I don't remember their last names.  One was Kenzie who looked like an angel and sang like a little devil.  The other was Rachel.  I think they might give the chosen one, Marielle, some trouble if they make it to the voting rounds.  

Speaking of the chosen one, she wasn't featured tonight although I did see her Miley Cyrus/Rihanna image once or twice.  I get her confused with Mallia from Detroit.  I know they look nothing alike.  But their names are similar.  Its not helpful that the chosen one was featured on two different audition episodes...as if she were 2 people.  She will be the death of me! 

Savion Wright's brother died 2 weeks ago.  He wrote a song about it that really wasn't all that good.  His audition was better than his performance tonight.  I like him but...he needs to up his game and I don't want to hear about his dead brother ala Danny Gokey's dead wife for the rest of the season.

Group night had a little less drama than usual.  I felt bad for Jess who got stuck with some guys sadly lacking in the charisma department in her first group.  One guy's voice was going out so he wanted to quit and the other (she said) couldn't harmonize.  She finally ends up in a group with a momager bossing her around which doesn't bode well but beggars cannot be choosers.  I really think the producers ought to do a little more stage managing once there are people without a group.  I also think they should ban the mothers from the group preparation.   The group of girls who called themselves the Fierce or something like that look anything but fierce as they do cliche choreography (I think my 8th grade class stood with our backs to the audience and snapped our fingers while bouncing on one leg to Jingle Bell Rock over 40 years ago) and don't know the words  I suspect the one who is yelling at them to learn the words will forget hers tomorrow night. 

I will be glad when tomorrow is over.  Group night and day is always painful to watch. 

Its colder than the North Pole where I am.  My feet are freezing even in my fuzzy slippers.  There is a lot of snow on the ground too.  And, I don't know yet if my Shockers are still undefeated but I will check that momentarily. I'm such a chicken, I cannot watch the games.

Update:  The Shockers won!    

Stay warm!      

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